Original subtitles

♪ Don't care what you think about it ♪

♪ Ain't here to please nobody ♪

♪ I'm the one they run for cover ♪

♪ Here comes trouble now

♪ Mend my wicked ways

♪ I'll get you into trouble now ♪

♪ It's just so hard to behave ♪

♪ Got you seeing double now ♪

♪ I'm the one your mama told you ♪

♪ I play the one as torture ♪

♪ The risk you cant afford

♪ Here comes trouble now

♪ Turn it up all night

♪ Got you feeling high

♪ Turn it up all night

♪ Got you feeling high

♪ Get you into trouble now

[music]

- I know a number of burlesque performers.

I would say about 90 percent of them have gotten into

burlesque because they feel sensual and they feel

sexy and they like the attention.

And they like the tease of it,

and the power that that brings.

- When I see a woman, like, walk onstage and

she has comedic timing, which I love in burlesque--I

think comedy and sexiness is just so powerful.

- Oh, I love burlesque.

I'm obsessed with the fashion,

the skill that it takes to actually do the dancing,

and I think it's a beautiful, beautiful art form.

- Seeing burlesque shows inspires me to go and work out.

When I hear the word "burlesque," I think of fit

dancers delicately removing their items of clothing.

There's always that moment of questioning--will they

take off their top or their bottom first?

- As a man, watching burlesque, it's like I am kinda more

aroused by almost seeing nudity.

That's the thing about burlesque,

is like it's almost off--it's almost off.

[laughter]

Like, fall off--please, just fall off.

- I'm Michael. - I'm Lisa.

- I'm Alastair. - And I'm Jessica.

- I'm Mackenzie. - I'm Nick.

- I'm Derek.

- [all] And this-- - And this--

- And this-- - And this--

- This is my sex life. [slates clapping]

- Ooh! - Let's talk about it.

- [chuckles]

[music]

- I call myself the most naked woman because one,

I really like to get naked.

And two, I really like to be vulnerable and

authentic on stage.

I like the idea of the word "naked" being both

a physical and an emotional and spiritual idea.

It's over-the-top sexuality.

It is sensual, interactive, immersive, decadent,

elegant raunch.

[subdued crowd chatter]

When I started doing burlesque,

I was noticing a lot of people were making fun of

sexuality instead of owning their sexuality.

And it became really clear to me that women,

especially, were not comfortable owning their power.

Even though they were physically revealing

themselves, the thing I felt from them was apology.

So what I wanted to do is work through that and bring

that real sexuality, that something

that was not apologetic.

- Please welcome the legendary Michelle L'amour.

[crowd cheering] [club music]

- There's like a trope in burlesque where you take

something off and you're surprised about

what's happening.

I never, ever do that. [laughs]

You should not be surprised that your clothes are coming off.

Maybe the audience should be surprised,

but you should be owning it.

I think embracing your sexuality is truly not

having apology, but being completely present

and strong on the stage, and open and giving

to the audience.

[water pouring into kettle]

- What cup you want?

- That rooibos--uh, no--yeah.

- Rooibos? - Mm.

I was raised born-again Christian, evangelist.

His dad was-- - Southern Baptist preacher.

- --a preacher.

We were both in these worlds, and super-sexual people.

- We have a very sort of--not evangelistic,

but a very spiritual approach to our sexuality,

and that is our job.

Our sexuality is our job.

[music]

When we met, she was auditioning for a dance

talent sort of thing.

- And I sat behind this guy with, like,

spiky blond hair, and I was like,

what is his deal?

- She's talking about me. I had hair at some point.

- [laughs] Yeah.

He started contacting me and asking me if I wanted

to choreograph for his band.

I wanna open up the rock show with a burlesque show,

do you wanna do that.

I was like, "Yeah, sure, hmm-hmm,"

and didn't know what

that word meant. I had no idea.

And then I heard the music, like the classic burlesque

tracks, the [imitating rhythmic tapping of drum cymbal]

you know, and it was like, oh, yeah,

I totally know how to do this. [laughs]

I've been doing this in my bedroom for years.

[crowd cheering]

[jazzy, upbeat dance music]

So it came really naturally to me.

I loved being naked on stage. It just feels very free.

There's no pretense.

But when you're getting naked on stage,

you have to have a really strong sense of self.

When I'm performing, I'm practically naked the

whole time.

I'm known as the most naked woman.

And really, that was just a means to an end.

When I first started doing burlesque,

I didn't have a lot of money, and so I would wear small

G-strings where most girls were wearing more full coverage.

So it kinda just started from my physicality.

But then the meaning behind it started to sink in.

[crowd cheering, applauding, shouting]

- So the 2,000th daybook came in.

[music]

- For a long time, it was very difficult for me to

portray this idea of sexuality and beauty.

Those are cute undies. - Those are cute.

- When I was around five or six years old,

what I remember is my mom crying a lot,

and taking a ton of blood tests. That's what I remember.

I have alopecia areata.

Alopecia is an autoimmune disease where your body

decides to attack your hair follicles.

And that's when you lose your hair in patches.

When I was in seventh grade, things are happening

with your body, things are going on.

And I'm losing hair, a ton of hair,

and there's nothing I can do about it.

What I learned from that moment of trying to cover

things up, it's kind of like a performance.

That moment really made me obsessed about what made

something sexy, what made something beautiful.

But then my hair grew back, and it was beautiful and

gorgeous and long, down my back.

[music]

- She's one of the best in the business.

Please welcome the legendary Michelle L'amour.

[club music]

- So I started doing burlesque,

and I experienced this time of normal.

I was working a ton, performing a ton as

a burlesque star.

I was known for this act I do called "Butthoven."

It's a viral video, it's gotten 10 million views.

[laughter]

[Beethoven's Fifth Symphony begins]

[crowd laughing, cheering, clapping]

And it's my butt cheeks playing Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

[music]

My career was going great.

I was getting a steady paycheck as an artist.

[crowd cheering]

And then it started happening again.

[music]

I was losing hair, and I was not prepared.

[crying] And I didn't tell anybody.

I hid it.

I was going in for steroid shots.

I would go into another dressing room and get ready

and come out fully done, so that nobody saw what

I was dealing with.

It just made me feel, like, so fake.

[crying]

It was really hard to, like, hide, and do my job,

which is portray confidence and sexuality.

And none of those things, I felt.

We all feel like there's things that we can't talk

about, that we can't' share, and these heavy burdens

that we carry.

I've worried about them judging me,

I've worried about what would the other burlesque

performers think about me.

I knew that I had to talk about this,

consequences be damned, because I could not handle

this burden anymore.

My name is Michelle L'amour,

and I am an international burlesque performer.

I decided to make my video, "The Big Reveal,"

and share with the world what I was dealing with.

I need to share something with you.

My plan was to perform without the wig.

So I started to going to all the venues that I worked at,

and let them in on what was going on.

I believe that beauty is truth

[weeping] and this is mine.

I want to encourage you to live your truth,

and be your most naked self.

The first performance I did without the wig,

I was very nervous.

- [emcee on stage] She is a burlesque legend.

Will you please welcome Michelle L'amour!

[crowd cheering, shouting] - Oh, yeah!

- I didn't know what was gonna happen.

[club music]

[crowd cheering]

And the response I got was amazing.

They were so supportive of me,

it was incredible. I couldn't believe it.

Something opened up in me, and it was something that

I wanted to explore and keep growing and keep pushing,

and see what else I could find.

[crowd cheering, applauding]

It's so funny, how much work it takes to be yourself.

[music]

I mean, it should be the easiest job,

but people spend their lives trying to figure

out how to be themselves.

The people love my hair, and they stop me on the

street and they stop me in the bar and they yell

from their cars how much they love my hair.

This is my vulnerability, but I'm using it,

and it's my platform.

And it influences my work and my art to the core.

There's good things to be afraid of,

and there's things that you can push through.

And you can push through that fear.

This is why I believe that vulnerability is strength.

When you expose yourself in public to strangers,

there's something inside that changes.

You've done it. Nothing else can hurt you.

[music]

[music]

To fully own your power, you have to fully embrace

your vulnerability.

[music]

- Swingers are seen as old, overweight, shag-carpeting,

and smoking, putting their keys in a bowl.

Reality is, swingers are people of all ages,

both genders, bisexual, straight and gay,

and they're doing this consensually.

- I haven't fooled around with a woman in a long time,

and I definitely prefer fooling around with men, unfortunately.

- Of course I've slept with females as well as males.

Like, how do I know what I like from the buffet

without trying it all?

- I've been with a woman once,

and it wasn't really for me, unfortunately.

I wanted a penis, at the end of it all.

[laughs]

- Had a threesome while I was in a relationship,

so basically it was barely a threesome.

It was like some naked girl as massaging my girl,

and I could have sex with my girl,

and then they had sex with each other,

and then I just awkwardly stood there.

- Having a threesome with a couple, we had,

like, a pussy-eating contest, and it was--I won.

He thinks he won, but I think that I won.

- A lot of people, they think oh, well,

you're into threesomes, so it can't get much

crazier than that.

But crazier than that is orgies,

so we've had more than three before.

And I know Mackenzie has had more than three,

before you met us.

You don't wanna talk about that part of your life?

[laughs]

- Nope, been there, done that.

- I've been the third person in couples together,

and so I felt that seeing other couples make love

and seeing how they, like, vibe with each other,

and then just get in the middle.

I like actually watching things happen.

Like, I'm all like-- [laughs]

[music]

[moaning, exclaiming]

- Where can you go where, like, you feel at home and

you feel safe, and then you get to fuck all

the people that you feel safe with, right?

I wanna belong to that group.

If I told you I know exactly how tonight's gonna go,

I'd be lying to you. I have no idea.

- This is gonna hurt me more than it does you.

- The best night ever--yeah! [all cheering]

- Oh, my god.

[moaning]

[music]

[chatter]

- I'm, like, a vodka connoisseur.

I will do the--let me try the Georgia peach.

[all exclaiming] - Oh!

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, that aint free.

- You gotta pay the toll! - I have to suck a toe?

- People think when you come to a sex party,

the minute you walk in the door, people gonna be,

"Hey, suck my dick."

And it's like that, I've been to parties like that.

You look--oh, my god, I have the same shoes.

- You do?

- I've had parties for two years.

I started the parties because I wanted to have sex.

It turned into something completely different.

It's become a safe space to be who you really are.

My group is like, hey, how are you doing?

Where did you come from? Married, moved in, what?

- We're just engaged. - You guys just got engaged?

- No, we got engaged, like, last May, right?

- Oh, so like a year into the relationship,

you guys got engaged? - We knew.

This is our second marriage. We just knew.

We both knew that we wanted to be in the lifestyle.

It's just who we are.

I mean, when I was--I'm talking about, like, high school.

- I actually asked her to marry me the second day

I met her. - Oh, my god.

- He really did, yeah.

- Oh, my god, I can't right now.

- She didn't--she didn't say yes, though.

- Yes, I did. - Oh, yeah, you did.

For us, sex with us is very intimate between the two of us.

However, sex with others is, to us, the same as hiking.

We just consider it-- - It's just an activity.

- --another activity. - Yeah.

- So we do a lot of hiking-- - It's a pastime.

- --in Arizona, and so we always say hey,

let's go--instead of hiking, let's just have sex.

[jet whooshing]

- I'm here for a lifestyle party, going as a single female.

Unicorns are single females in lifestyle communities,

typically.

Which just means that you're unattached to anyone,

that you're going to play with couples exclusively.

I definitely look for connection.

There has to be either physical or emotional

or some type of mental connection between people

who I just hang with and people who I play with.

I don't have any expectations.

I try not to go into any party or situation with expectations.

I feel like it kinda sets you up for failure.

It's been quite a while since I've been to a party

where I knew, like, literally absolutely no one.

But I'm pretty good with people and meeting

new people, so I think I'll be all right.

[music]

- We have not been part of this lifestyle for

a really long time.

We're still trying to-- - We come from a small town,

so it's hard to find, you know, places you can go and,

you know, experience these type of things, because--

- Like if you walk into a beer garden at a rodeo and say,

you know, I think your wife's really cute,

I mean, you're gonna get your ass kicked.

[laughs]

- You remember how to get there?

- We have navigation.

- Were you guys in the life before?

- Yeah. Yeah, with our exes.

- But our exes, we brought them in.

- We, like, dragged them into the lifestyle.

- Kicked and screaming, right? - Yes.

- They, like, it's so miserable having to fuck

a bunch of other people. - I know.

- I brought my husband into it.

- Hello! - Hi!

- Hi! - We made it.

- In my group and what I do, it's not about rushing

to have sex with each other. That's not what it's about.

- It's so nice to meet you.

- It's about getting to know each other and being

comfortable, and enjoying the people that you're around.

You were in the life before.

- He was in the lifestyle, but he was unhappy.

And, like-- - I [inaudible] --

- --I was a unicorn at that time,

and I was used to, like, single guys approaching

me all the time, and, like-- [music]

- Stalking is caring.

- So-- - Yeah, that's another unicorn.

[laughter] - Hey.

- Unicorns are always the sexiest, right?

[laughter]

They're always like, fuck you, bitch, I'm the sexiest.

- I do think that there's a little bit of a cocky

confidence sometimes, to where if I show up and

I'm like, okay, I can always have my pick of people.

For the most part, it's super fun.

I know I can go in and have a good time,

and not have to worry about any type of attachment.

- Like, don't pretend you don't know that she's fucking hot.

I hate that shit. - Who's hot?

- Her! - Oh.

- When you have a hot unicorn, oh, my god.

She will walk in the door and people will be like--yes!

When you're a hot unicorn, the world is your oyster.

- When I got into the lifestyle,

I see an advertisement for a game night at a dungeon.

So I'm like, okay, it's a dungeon,

but it's game night.

We're gonna be playing cards,

blah, blah, blah, so I go. - Good, Christian games.

- Right, good, Christian games. [laughter]

- Chutes and Ladders, and-- - The first thing that I see is,

I see this man, and he's practicing with

this single-tail whip. And I'm looking, and I'm like,

"Fuck you, I would never do that."

[laughter]

And then cut to the next week--I had such a good

night at game night, I go to one of their hardcore play

parties the following week.

And that same man with the whip somehow had me chained

up to this giant spider web. [laughter]

I learned that I liked it, that I'm into pain,

that I'm into all of this crazy stuff.

- Now, you don't know what you're into

until you're into it. - Yes.

- Until I found the swinger lifestyle,

I thought I was weird.

I thought there was something wrong with me.

And when I found the life, it was like,

oh, this is who I am.

There's, like, a whole world of people that are just like me,

and more importantly, it's okay.

- Do it. [laughter]

- I don't even know how.

- Just start-- - I will teach you.

- All right.

- No, start with a slap, sort of like--

- Just like--yes yeah, yeah.

- It's not working.

- It is. [laughter]

- Now ball your fists up and--and punch them.

- Really? - Yes.

- This is-- - It's [inaudible] .

[laughter]

- Now this is what aftercare is--now,

open your hands and just massage them.

- All right--that, I can do. - That's aftercare.

♪ You're making me really horny, baby ♪

[music]

- We're bonding. We're spending time tighter.

And when you realize who you're at the party with,

you can open up.

- Okay, where's the game? - Right here in my hands.

- Let me kiss you. - Okay.

[laughter]

- This game might end early.

[laughter] - Yes!

- There's some things that I need to get to.

In my house, in this group, in this space,

with these people, you can be anything,

and no one's gonna judge you for it.

Okay, so real quick--pick up a stick.

One side is, like, a kinky, nasty dare--

- Ooh! - --and one side is the truth.

- I'm choosing Megan--truth or dare.

- Okay. Okay. - Right, you have to choose it.

I'm gonna read you-- - Dare.

- Pretend we're in the back row of a crowded movie theater.

Get me off with no one knowing. Bam!

[laughter]

[music]

- I was like, oh-- - Ooh!

- --okay. - Game on.

- Yeah.

She seemed pretty cool.

Down to Earth, and ready to party and--

[laughter] - Yeah.

- I was like, yes, like-- - Is it--

- I was. I-- - Areyou cool with it?

- Yeah, I'm cool with it. - All right.

- Obviously. I was--I was happy.

- Okay. She fulfilled her dare.

- Well done! [clapping]

- Well done!

Ice-breaker games get people familiar with the people

that are in the room.

Some couples only wanna play with couples.

Some single people only wanna play with single people.

Me and my husband are soft-swap.

- Okay.

- So we do everything imaginable,

but we don't have actual sex with other couples.

So I just wanna put that out there so that you know--

- And what do you consider "actual sex?"

- I can do anything I want with a man,

but a man cannot enter my vagina.

He can do anything with a woman, but a woman

cannot sit on his penis.

- Before you come to the party,

discuss your boundaries. - Ed.

- Oh!

[all exclaiming, shrieking]

- Most people in the life are couples.

When you're a couple, your only responsibility is

to make sure that your mate is happy and okay.

- You're the cop. I've been very bad.

- Ooh.

- Get out the handcuffs and punish me for my crimes.

- Yes, please. [all exclaiming]

- I saw you go into the 10 items or less line with 12--

[laughter, clapping]

[slapping]

- Make sure you get that aftercare.

- Ooh, I felt that one. - Woo!

- Okay.

I hope you can-- - Aftercare!

- --reenter society,and-- - Yeah!

[laughter, clapping]

- Sir, I'm so sorry.

- Don't be sorry. Just be a better person.

- Okay, I will. I'll work on that.

- There's an openness, everybody feels it.

It's palpable.

Even though we didn't know all of these people here,

they had the same vibe.

- This is my signature on the nudist colony.

[water swirling]

- Come on in!

- Watch your step, watch your step.

[laughter]

- Mm, yes, please.

[moaning]

[music]

- I've been a part of the lifestyle for almost two years.

I actually an answered a Craigslist ad looking for

a naked chef for a couple, and found out they were

into the lifestyle.

So they kinda introduced me to parties and I found

it really fun and exciting.

- Wanna go upstairs? - Kinda went from there.

[moaning, exclaiming]

[water splashing]

[moaning]

- Everybody lift her. - Everybody lift her up.

- Yes, please. Oh, yes, please, harder.

- Come on in. - [inaudible]

- Yeah, baby, do it.

[moaning]

- Yes. Yes, please.

Give it to me. Oh, yes, please.

Yes, yes.

[screaming]

Please, yes, that's it--that's it, oh [inaudible] .

- I'm good. - Okay, good.

- Thank you so much, lover.

[music]

[moaning, exclaiming, laughing]

- It's really nice to be around open-minded people,

people who kinda do whatever they wanna do.

- Oh, my god.

- I kinda like that thrill and excitement.

It's an adrenaline rush for sure.

[moaning]

- It's just like yeah, that's my man.

He's doing what he does really good to somebody else.

And it turns me on, I love it.

- I love you. [laughter]

- I love you.

- Nice to meet you.

- What's your name again? - Yeah, exactly.

[laughter]

- [inaudible] from big old Texas, San Antonio.

- It's nice to have, like, a connection with somebody

else every now and then.

It's a rush, I think, really. - Yeah.

[crowd chattering]

- Aw.

- These people are amazing. I think the party was great.

- Oh, are you finished? - Yeah.

- I'm gonna enjoy you in the afterglow.

I think it took on a life of its own.

Everybody had a great time.

That's magical. [fountain hissing]

[chatter] - Hungry?

- So- - I am.

- --yeah, let's go get a snack.

- Let's go get a snack.

[music]

- I'm generally more submissive,

but I've done a little bit more domming positions,

I guess. [laughs]

- One thing that I really started getting into was masks.

- It's very mysterious.

- I'm probably a pillow princess.

[laughs]

Definitely would be considered submissive.

- I am a dominant woman of trans experience.

I dominate by profession.

It's not a sexual thing for me--at least it hasn't been,

up until recently.

- I do like experiment with role-play.

I like to dress up as different characters.

[laughs]

Speak in different voices and just embody the whole

being of somebody else.

- Oh, I'm super-subby. I'm such a sub.

I love being smacked around. [laughs]

Consensually.

- Technically I qualify as a switch because I have been

trained as a dominant and I have been trained as a submissive.

I am dominant when it comes to females,

submissive when it comes to males.

- Well, sometimes we'll play Fortnite and we'll be like,

"Let's have a Fortnite battle." And whoever loses--

- Oh, yeah.

- Oh, yeah, we actually do do that.

- Any game.

- Basically any game will turn into a--

- Sex game. - --a sex game.

- So it's like if you lose you get cum in your mouth.

- Yeah. - Which he hates, usually.

But he's been better at it lately.

[laughter] It must be love.

[music]

- BDSM is an acronym that stands for bondage,

dominance, sadism, and masochism.

Bondage would be getting tied up with things like cuffs,

rope, chain, metal.

Dominance is the act of having someone beneath you

being submissive, overpowering them,

just dominating someone.

Sadism is the act of deriving pleasure from inflicting

pain on somebody else.

And then masochism is deriving the pleasure from

getting that pain inflicted upon you.

When it comes to BDSM, there is a power exchange,

there's a sexual energy exchange,

and it ends with someone cumming,

or it ends with someone feeling so euphoric that

they're in this other place.

BDSM is like fucked-up sex for fucked-up people.

But I mean that in a very positive kind of way.

[music]

- Like, what do you pack to go meet a dominatrix?

I don't really know. But--a fireball.

That's essential. Just the necessities.

- How she packs, how I pack. [laughter]

- I need options, man.

- Pretty typical getting-ready action happening here.

- Half-naked dancing, yeah, it's fun.

Who doesn't like to be naked?

- I'll just drink my coffee.

It's not hard to look at.

- So a week from today we'll be meeting Mistress Justine.

Are you excited? - Are you excited?

- Or are you nervous--which one? - Definitely nervous.

- Yeah, it's gonna be-- - I'm nervous--

- --for the experience. - --because I think she's

a badass, and I'm used to being the badass.

[laughs] - True.

It'll be fun. New experiences, you know?

Like, we'll see.

- Are you ready to get fucked?

[laughter]

- Bye, we're done.

- That's what you're nervous about.

So we're on our way to the airport to get on a plane

and fly across the country.

What would you say you're most excited to try?

- It's gonna sound weird, but I--I at wanna

try the electric stuff.

I'm just--I'm really curious of, like, what kinda pleasure you

could get out of something like that.

- Off we go! Hope we don't die!

- I'm ready for a drink. - Oh, yeah.

- To relax, and unpack. - That sounds great.

- Leticia and I met in 2000.

We've been married for 16 years,

and together for almost 19 years.

- We met when I was straight outta high school,

and he's four years older than me.

And he had just joined the Air Force.

I was, like, a wild child with my friends,

and driving in a Mustang convertible, dancing.

And him and his friend happened to be driving by,

and they thought we were waving at them,

and we weren't.

So they followed us, and we ended up meeting

up at a gas station.

- I am a very shy person naturally,

so I didn't get out.

- No, he sent his ugly friend over.

And we're like oh, god, but the driver is hot.

So I'm like, let's go because that one's cute.

We went back to his dorm room on base and hung out, and--

- Three days later she called,

and we went on our first date. - Yep.

You said always, from the first date you met me--like,

I came into your dorm and you were like,

"That's the girl I'm gonna marry."

- Absolutely. - And then I was hooked.

[excited whimpering]

Let's get ready. I'm ready.

- You excited? - I'm so excited.

The first 10 years of our marriage,

it was very frequent.

I don't think we were that adventurous, really.

It was just frequent.

- We both work in high-stress jobs.

It makes for not a lot of time together at home.

And with work and three kids,

we definitely have to try to focus on making time

for each other throughout the weeks,

and really coordinate our schedules.

- Are you nervous about anything?

- Yeah, I'm pretty nervous.

Like, I was good until, like,

now it's becoming real.

- I am desiring it much less,

and it's caused so many arguments.

- Do you have any goals?

Have you, like, set any goals?

- To have a good time, like I do every day of my life.

- I think I'm just gonna go with it and not be afraid,

and just put it all out there.

Why not?

- You're not afraid of your butthole getting fucked?

Ooh, I'm gonna do it. [laughs]

- One way to spice up our sex life again is to bring

something new to push us outside our comfort zones.

That's kinda what brought us to go to Mistress Justine

and try this new thing out.

- We went through a period where we did start to get

more adventurous.

We went and bought more toys,

and we were into butt stuff, and it became

a little more exciting.

- How many butt toys do you have to have in here?

Butt plugs and-- - The butt's important, man,

don't neglect the butt. [laughs]

- We bought the toys, we made that effort,

but to continue to do it has been difficult.

- I mean, what do you wear to meet a dominatrix?

We are looking for that excitement,

and I think that's what kinda led us to BDSM.

- Like, don't they usually wear, like, black stuff?

Like, I have black jeans, I could wear black jeans.

- Well, they do, but we're not the experts.

I think I'm drawn to BDSM because of the

pain/pleasure, the curiosity there.

I mean, I totally watch tons of BDSM porn,

and that's super hot.

Like, rape porn is my favorite.

- That seems kinda fucked up.

- I like the idea of hurting people.

[music]

Because I am a very dominant woman,

I like to be in control of everything.

- So going to BDSM maybe will help me to not take

everything so seriously like I always do.

- I just like the uncharted territory aspect of it.

- Crazy, crazy [inaudible]. [laughs]

- This is crazy, this is crazy.

But shots, I need shoots.

Coming to LA is all about the new experience.

Can't be sober.

It's just about us sharing something

we've never done before. We need a push.

Cheers! - Ugh.

- That's not "ugh," it's delicious.

[laughter]

Baby. Pussy.

- You realize that we definitely have different

sexual appetites, right?

- Sex has become a box to check.

It's not about bonding, it's not about excitement anymore,

it's about oh, you wanna cum?

You wanna cum?

Okay, sure, let's get this done.

- I mean, obviously it's caused arguments and fights

and stuff-- - But I think today,

going in to Mistress Justine who--and introduce us to things,

that would improve our sex life.

You know, in the bedroom that would work for us.

This neighborhood kinda sets the tone for a dungeon, though.

[laughs]

It's kinda dark and mysterious.

I'm a little scared. - Let's go.

[car door closes]

- [squeals] Let's run.

[laughs]

I'm getting the wrong kind of wet.

[beeping]

- There you go. - Okay.

[laughter]

[music]

- Mistress Justine Cross.

I am a professional dominatrix.

I've been a dominatrix for over 10 years,

and it's something that I've always had in my personal life,

as far as dating.

You know, I've always been a bitch.

So what it means professionally is that

people are coming in to pay me for an experience,

and to be a part of their fantasy.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Hi. - Welcome to the dungeon.

- Hi.

[indiscernible chatter]

- Hello. - Hi, nice to meet you.

- So the service that I provide is individual

sessions with people or couples,

and that can be arranged from either being very

hands-on in a scene, or it could be something

more instructional.

I'm just teaching people how to tie someone up safely,

how to hit someone safely, those kinds of things.

In terms of Chad and Leticia,

they've been together for a while and they want me to

kinda spice up their marriage, or show them some new tips

and tricks in the studio, or things that

I do that are different.

Have you been to any other dungeons before?

- No. - Never.

- Okay, this is the best one, so you're good.

[laughter]

Obviously, it's very different from other dungeons,

if you've looked them up.

All the furniture is custom-made for us,

and that's why it's all white.

You can rent the space for overnight,

and I also have toys here.

This is a St. Andrew's cross.

The big X, we can tie someone up either facing in

or facing outward, and, you know,

you have access to someone's entire body.

Over here is the bondage bed and cage.

Over here is our spanking horse.

All the furniture is easy for beginners.

- This is something totally new. [laughter]

- Yeah, it's a lot to take in.

- I don't even know where to start, like--

- I don't either. [laughter]

- I'm sure there's lots of things we've--

- Never. - We have limited experience.

- Yeah, yeah.

[music]

These are different kinds of floggers,

and these things are called the tails.

Depending on what kind of material that's made out of,

it gives a different feel in the impact when you're

hitting someone.

This is leather, this is latex. Same thing with a paddle.

Like, this is not gonna hurt you as much as something

like this is, which is a solid metal paddle.

Or this is acrylic. Those hurt way more.

And then these are some other custom metal

restraints that we have.

Spreader bars, or like this would go around your head

and our arms, or this around your ankles.

Canes are my favorite.

They're also the most painful we have--

- That's what I thought, yeah. - Yeah, they hurt a lot.

I love the hurty things. I'm a sadist, so.

- I wanna know what all of these things feel like,

at least once.

- Oh, you can just try all of them, that's fine.

We can do that.

Is there anything on here that you don't wanna use on you?

- Are you scared?

- Something that hurts really badly.

[laughs] - Okay.

Well, it all hurts really badly.

You know, like, it all can hurt.

- So you wanted to start by using it on me first?

- I think so. - Okay.

- I have been playing for over 10 years,

so I'm obviously very experienced.

So some toys surprise you.

It feels pretty soft.

This actually packs more of a sting than you would think.

They came in thinking we know that we're kind of into this,

and we have some ideas, but we're not entirely sure.

And that's totally fine.

We all have to start somewhere.

So usually for those kinds of clients I say, well,

we're gonna do an omakase, and we're just gonna kind

of try a bunch of different things,

and we'll see what you like.

And if you like this, we'll keep going in this direction.

And if you don't like this, we will not go in that direction.

- I like the idea of pain once I'm already turned on.

- Do you wanna practice first hitting him,

and then see if you get turned on,

and then he can practice hitting you?

- That sounds more like it. [laughter]

- Okay, we can do that. - Yeah.

- I think that it is going to be 50/50 on how I feel

about you hitting me.

- Yeah, I'm wondering--is it gonna make your dick hard,

or is it just gonna be painful.

[laughs] - Yeah.

- All right, so--no, no, we're gonna be over there.

Don't put your shoes there, put your shoes over there.

- When she flipped to that mistress and became

very dominant, oh, that, like, totally turned me on.

Her voice changed, and the way she talked to you,

I was like, oh.

It was like a direct link to my vagina.

- Are you nervous? It's okay.

I don't care what you have to say.

And then why don't you get down on your knees.

And why don't you start saying things like,

"Yes, Mistress." - Yes, Mistress.

- Yeah, it's more fun when you play along, you know.

- I was totally taken back.

I'm in this situation, but I was definitely not

expecting that to happen I was thinking what the

did I just get myself into?

[laughter] Like, holy shit.

- Okay, so...

not so much a paddle,

but this is sort of like this flogger.

So this is made out of silicone,

so it's a little bit stingier. [slapping]

- When Mistress Justine started hitting me,

giving up that much control to somebody you've just met,

doing that is way outside my comfort zone--way outside.

It took a little bit for me to kinda mentally escape,

but I definitely got there.

The pain feels good. It's weirdly relaxing.

- Was it relaxing? - It was.

- What?

- It was--to me, it became relaxing.

- We just wanna stay up here on the shoulders.

You don't wanna do, like, the kidneys,

but you can do the butt or thigh and stuff.

[laughter]

- [whispers] Sorry.

- I realized that I am attracted to giving up control to you.

It actually does really turn me on.

[smacking]

I like that.

- I think she wants to go until you say "mercy"

I think is the thing.

[laughs]

Like, it felt good, but I needed more.

It's just all this energy is so primal.

Oh, I love it. It was really a turn-on.

- Mercy. [laughter]

- You've never used a flogger before?

- Nope.

- Mm-hmm, that's great.

- I think for me, experimenting with BDSM,

the excitement lies in being somebody I'm not.

[music]

You know, playing that role.

- One thing I am curious to find out is that by trying

me being more dominant and you being less dominant,

if it will change things.

- Can you do more on my butt, please?

- More on your butt? - Yeah.

[smacking] Harder.

- I feel comfortable enough to give up a little bit of

control in the bedroom.

- Harder. [laughter]

- It's not like I want to walk you around on a leash,

kinda like Sub/dom relationship.

It's more of an experimenting with you

relinquishing control to letting me provide you

pleasure through pain.

[smacking]

- I think the thing is, like, after so many minutes,

you're like, okay, can you just put your penis

in me now, because ugh. [laughter]

I was nervous about giving up control to him.

[smacking]

Like, what turns me on is getting to the point where

I'm like okay, okay, stop, you know?

- Yeah.

- You're telling him what toy to use,

how hard, when to stop.

And it is about your pleasure.

He's in control of it, but so are you.

And that gave me a lot of comfort,

because that's where my hang-up

has sort of been. He's in control.

But realizing when you're roleplaying like that,

it still is 50/50. - Mm-hmm.

You good? - Yeah, I think I'm done.

- Okay.

- Electro-play is any kind of kink or BDSM toy they're

using electricity with.

The sort of beginner level are things like wands.

It's like the gateway drug into electro-play.

This is completely safe to use anywhere on your body.

If you wanna try this, like super-low.

[wand buzzing]

It's more fun on other places, so.

[laughter] - Oh.

- Now that's like all the way up,

so that's just on your arm.

It's sort of like a very tense, like, static.

You wanna try? - Yes, Mistress.

- Okay.

I really like using it on people's nipples,

it's very sensitive.

You can run it up their thighs.

[wand buzzing]

It's just electricity--you're feeling literally sparks.

- Does it feel good?

- Actually, it does--that's weird.

[laughter]

- I forget how much I like seeing your reactions to things,

because we never do these sort of, like--

- It can be a little bit painful,

but the pain level isn't super high.

[wand buzzing]

- I mean, if you kept doing that, it would have

definitely got me hard.

Yeah, that's erotic.

- Because usually people are really into it because

it's a completely different sensation.

- Ooh. [wand buzzing]

- I can feel that.

My favorite part of the whole experience was

the electro-machine.

[wand buzzing]

The anticipation was the best part.

- Yeah.

- Like when I was--I had my eyes closed,

and I was just like, oh-- Run it between my legs,

like over my pussy.

He was just taking a little wand and rubbing it.

Like, it was most intense when he was doing it,

like, between my thighs.

The difference between through clothing and on the skin is--

- Yeah. - --incredibly different.

- Yeah.

- You know, so we could actually be totally naked

and use it directly on our skin.

Anticipating, like, where is he gonna touch,

how far up is he gonna go.

He would run it over my panties, and it would, like,

touch my clit and go between my legs.

And it was just like he would pull it off and then

he'd put it back on, and it was just like this--this

intense tingling.

And it was like a little bit of pain,

but--and it was just, like, evoking these tingles.

Almost like a fire. That was intense.

I've never felt anything like that.

- Are you good? - Yeah, I like it.

[laughter]

- For Leticia and Chad, what I see in their future

is definitely purchasing a neon wand.

[wand buzzing]

Because it's something very different that,

you know, really no one has in their house.

It's just something else that they can explore and

do different things with.

Then expand on even getting more toys and more

pleasure out of it.

- [gasping, laughing]

Oh, that's cool.

Whoa. - Definitely a winner.

- People have a lot of misconception about BDSM,

but really, it's just this awesome way to explore your

fantasies safely if you do it correctly.

- Well, thank you both so much for coming in and

trusting me with your fantasies and your bodies.

- I feel like it's like a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

- Yeah.

- You come back, we'll be here later.

[laughter] - Thanks.

- For Leticia and Chad's BDSM,

this is just something else to add a little kick to it.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Thank you.

- That's all going to improve your sex life.

- Who needs a flogger, we have a--

- We'll try it.

- So I encouraged them to do that more.

- So are you pleased with how it all went.

- Definitely.

Some of those people, it's just about the domination/sub

type thing. - Mm-hmm.

- Like for us, the ultimate goal is to have sex.

- To make our sex better.

- So I think I took two things away from this experience.

The first one is to obviously be more comfortable.

I'm letting my guard down, and being open to try new

things in the bedroom.

I think for a long time we've tried to hard to make

it not boring, but we haven't changed what we're doing.

One of our struggles was I was pushing for sex all the time.

The frequency was, like, a big deal to me,

as opposed to valuing the quality of it.

And what I learned from using the BDSM and

the foreplay and the teasing and the flogging and

all that is that we can have better sex,

but doing it less often.

We have to, like, take the time, put it on our schedule,

block two hours that we're going to spend time and really,

really use all those toys.

And definitely part of it is not trying to

bone her every day. [laughs]

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

[laughter]

[music]

[slapping]

Whenever I get frustrated, just say, you know what,

it's not about, like, I gotta have sex today or

not having sex today.

It's about us finding a time where we wanna have

desirable sex with each other, and make it meaningful,

that we both enjoy. - Aw--I love it.

- Having that buildup with the BDSM,

I think that's, like, the key right there.

- Tease me so much that I'm begging for it.

That's what I want. - Exactly.

- That's the build-up we need.

Like, that's the aspect of BDSM that's gonna work for us.

That's excellent foreplay, and then I need the dick.

[moaning]

It all boils down to that for me.

There was an intensity there that you don't normally

experience on a day-to-day basis.

- I think we scratched the surface.

I think the more we do it, I think it will just

get more intense.

Thing for me too is like I feel like there was desire

between both of us.

- I feel so close to you.

I feel connected to you, I feel really good about

us as a couple.

And that's not something we've said a lot lately.

[moaning]

[music]

I came, he came, we tried new things.

- It was a successful. - It was fantastic.

[laughs]

[music]