All language subtitles for Queen Sugar s05e10 Onward.eng

Previously on Queen Sugar...

I got accepted into this really
cool school in Washington do.

Mom and pop said that I can go.

You know deep down that that
boy is mine as much as he is yours!

That's not your son, Aunt Vi!

It was really good of you
to drop everything.

You say that like I had a choice.

There's no place I'll ever
be if you ever need me.

[ANDRE] you think I'll forget the
cops' faces who did this to me?

You thanked him in your book.

What?

Calvin Gaston.

He's the one who did this to me.

Great.

You put the snacks in the car?

Indeed. Close all them windows?

I did.

Where our little man at?
Probably should get going.

He said he had to look for something.

- Found her.
- [DARLA] mmm!

Couldn't leave without Kenya, huh?

She'll probably miss you too much.

Oh, I'm not bringing Kenya.

I want her to stay here so
she can look after you guys.

Are you worried about us?

I heard pops in the bathroom
this morning.

He sounded upset.

[RALPH] upset?

I'm not upset. I'm happy for you.

But are you happy for you?

We're sad that we won't
get to see you every day.

But I'm happy you get to live your life.

Well, whenever you are sad,
Kenya will keep you company.

How about when I'm sad...
[CHUCKLES] ...I just call you?

But I might be too busy doing homework.

Too busy? Busy saving the world, huh?

- You know it.
- That's right.

All right. We gotta go. Long drive.

We gotta go.

Long, long, long drive.

[DARLA] so...

? even though it's wet and cold ?

? it shows you what you need to know ?

? I intend this world this whole world ?

? for you ?

- [DARLA] slide along a little.
- Oh.

Come on.

Traffic waits for nobody.

- Put your seatbelt on.
- All right.

Washington DC...

[ALL] here we come!

[ENGINE STARTS]

? It won't always be easy ?

? it's not supposed to be ?

? you're right it won't always be ?

? easy ?

? it's not supposed to be ?

? dreams never die take
flight as the world turns

? dreams never die take
flight as the world turns

? keep the colors in the lines
take flight ?

? dreams never die ?

Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com

? keep the colors in the lines ?

? keep the colors in the lines
take flight ?

[VIOLET] Micah needs to bring
himself home.

He does not need to be
out there in them streets.

I want everybody home and safe.

Hell, home ain't safe.

Well, I'm just glad
for the homes that we got.

I've been watching this
reports on these evictions.

People losing their jobs.
Healthcare's a mess.

Those fools. Trying to fight
about wearing a simple mask.

Being brainwashed to fight
against their own survival.

Surreal.

[VIOLET] don't get me started.

I tell Hollywood to turn
that crap off the TV.

Gets my pressure up.

It's infuriating.

We gotta get this vote out.

I just hate that I...

I can't be out there getting
people registered and...

...Staffing the polls.

Yeah, well, you can't, so stop it.

That cold you had could've been worse.

Nova's out there on behalf
of the family doing all of that.

Micah, Hollywood, driving seniors.

The bordelons are doing
their part. We always do.

We always do.

Can I ask you a completely
random question?

Go on.

Is there anything that Jimmy
Dale could do right now...

...For you to see him differently?

What?

What on earth would make you ask me

some stupid shit like that?

I...

I'm... I'm sorry, Aunt Vi.

You didn't answer me.

What on earth would make you ask me...

I'm just wondering.

Why in all the hell
would you wonder that?

Ain't enough going on to wonder t?

I mean, where did that come from?

I asked you a question, Charley.

Davis came by here last week

to pick something up that Micah needed

and ship it to him.

And, uh...

We got to talking.

And he seemed...

He seemed different.

And it got me thinking about change.

Can people really change?

And forgiveness.

And I guess I was wondering
what you felt about all that.

Charley...

Jimmy Dale is an evil man...

...Who gets off on inflicting pain,

physical, emotional,
on any and everybody.

He's a dark soul.

Thinks love is weakness and
feeds on hate and treachery.

And he made sure that I lived
inside of his hell.

For so long it almost
destroyed me entirely.

So there is nothing in
this world that he could do

to make me forget what he did to me...

...Or think he's changed ever.

Davis, on the other hand,
is just damn stupid.

Huh?

He's not a bad person.

He's a foolish man

who took the good life
you gave him for granted

and made dumb, hurtful choices.

But he ain't Jimmy Dale.

He loved you even though he blew it.

And he loves that boy.

So if you saw change in him,
that's worth looking at.

Y'all can at least
be civil to each other.

Yeah.

Yeah, at least.

Hey, you all right?

What's wrong?

Is everything okay?

What's this?

[FILE CLOSES]

His name is Andre Nixon.

He was only 19 years old the night
he said you and your cop friends

beat him until he could no longer walk.

Wait a minute, Nova...

please don't say you
don't know this man.

Because he definitely knows you.

And once I started digging
into his case,

it wasn't that hard
to put it all together.

All someone had to do was look,

see,

care enough.

And no one did until now.

Nova...

Look me in my eye and tell me
you had nothing to do with this!

That you weren't there that night.

And I'll believe you.

Because I want to believe you.

I think...

I tried to convince myself
it was somebody else's memory

just lodged in the back of my mind.

I was the son of a cop.

I was having a real hard time.

And everyone said I had to prove
that I could make it on my own.

They got a hold of this kid...

His name is Andre.

Right.

Andre.

Andre...

...Got dragged
into an abandoned building.

They beat him real good.

They said it was...

They said it was good practice.

I stood in the back, I was scared.

I knew what they were doing was wrong.

Then they called my name and they said,

"get up here and
prove you're one of us."

I knew what they were asking me to do.

And you did it.

I hit him once.

Maybe twice.

But that's all, I swear.

I barely touched him.

But you did touch him, Calvin.

I've never done anything
like that before or since.

You gotta believe me.

I believed you when you told me you had
never done anything like this at all!

Remember?

Remember what you told me?

Those were lies, Calvin!

It was over 20 years ago.

I'm not that person.

It was yesterday to him!

[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]

Have you heard from him
since they got back?

Ralph Angel is not speaking to me.

And you ain't talking to him.

How long is that gonna go on?

It'll work itself out.

Wondering what my baby's doing
right now.

He's with his grandmother...

...Who is trifling, but she loves him.

And she ain't gonna let
no harm come to him.

That's where he is.

I just don't want him to change.

He's perfect. He's us.

Baby, that's not gonna happen.

That boy's got a good soul.

And Blue is gonna stay Blue.

We pray for that, we manifest that,

and we know that, okay?

Okay.

And maybe you should

think about apologizing to Ralph Angel.

Blue is the whole reason
he got his life together.

So if he sent him away,

it's probably because he
thinks the promise of tomorrow

outweighs the pain right now.

So my pain and love

for a child I helped raise don't matter?

Baby, you can't honestly say

that your pain
is worse than Ralph Angel's.

That's his son.

Baby, you call Ralph Angel a boy.

You said his father would be
ashamed of him.

I believe that's the truth.

But was it kind, Vi? Was it necessary?

Maybe you should consider

being the adult in the room on this one.

That's all I'm saying.

[CHARLEY] when Micah
left for college, I was lost.

It's kinda stunning to realize

that I didn't know how to live
without thinking about his daily needs.

I didn't know how to...

...Just be.

I mean, it's gonna take some time.

I mean, when I get down,

I think about how much
Blue loved his new room

and how he took
to all the kids in the class.

They really loved him.

I mean, just being in a classroom again,
he was on cloud nine.

And mom loves him so much.

It was really beautiful to see.

I mean,

that's what I start thinking
about when I'm getting in my feelings.

- Hmm.
- Thank you for the talk, Charley.

I don't wanna keep you.

Oh, actually, um...

I wanted to ask you something.

I've come to think of you as one
of the strongest women I know.

You've been through so much.

And yet here you are.

Thank you. That means a
lot coming from you, Charley.

I need some advice.

Advice? From me?

Well, I'll certainly try.

I've been thinking about Davis.

Thinking what about Davis?

Oh, oh. I see. Um, I mean,
I would never do that.

You wouldn't? [CHUCKLES]

Ouch.

No, no, no. I mean, I would never
give you advice about your man.

I mean, just for me from experience,

I've found that no one really
knows your relationship but you.

No one knows your heart.
No one knows his.

I mean, everyone else's opinion
doesn't really matter in the end

because it's the two of you that
have to look at each other every day,

have to love each other every day.

You're right.

Has he changed?

I think...

Yeah. Yeah, he has.

Is that even possible?

Look at me and Ralph Angel.

We are completely different
people than we were in the beginning.

We made every mistake.

We hurt each other,
we fell away from each other.

And somehow we ended up
back in each other's arms.

So yes, it is possible.

If you see a chance at something real

with someone who knows you
and truly cares about you...

...Step out in faith.

It might be everything you hope it is.

The fact that the hashtag
"defund the police" is trending

and on news outlets everywhere

and that people in this country
and countries around the world

are taking to the streets
is just like...

I don't know, it's just monumental.

You know what I mean? It just feels
really,

really meaningful. Don't you think?

I do. I have never seen
anything like it.

Never felt anything like it.

I'm just catching up to
everything now and... [SIGHS]

I am totally and completely blown away.

Wait, catching up to
everything? What do you mean?

I... I, uh...

What's going on?

Uh...

I've... I've been under the
weather the past few days.

What do you mean "under
the weather"? What was wrong?

Mom.

I, uh... I have COVID.

- What?
- But I'm recovering.

What are you saying right now?
You took a test?

No.

Then what are you basing that on?

[EXHALES] well...

I was pretty out of it.

What does that mean?

Is Aunt Vi there?

No, no. She's not. And I'm okay now.

What is aunt Nova saying?

What was your temperature at the
highest? Let me talk to aunt Nova.

Micah, Nova's not here.
And I didn't call her over.

Uncle Ra?

No.

Then how do you know you have COVID?

Mom, what's happening?
[STUTTERING] why...

Why aren't you telling me? Like,
why am I pulling teeth right now?

Please, please stop yelling at me.

I shouldn't have come here.

I just...

[EXHALES]

I left you alone and now you...

No, I wasn't alone.

I couldn't call the family
for various reasons,

so when things got pretty bad...

...I called your father.

[MICAH SCOFFS]

I'm on my way.

[DISCONNECTS]

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Here you go, here you go. Uh-huh.

And that's this one.

You've seen me at home,
now you've seen me at work!

[LAUGHING]

Ten!

Oh, I guess we are
making a little noise, huh?

A little. I can hear you
cackling from across the way.

I had missed everybody
at this place so much.

So I'm doing it like the
kids say. I'm getting it in.

- That's right.
- Yeah, I miss her, too.

You know, it's just good
to know we got each other.

- Mmm-hmm.
- Mmm! Indeed, indeed.

And to get it on sitting down.

- Come on!
- Okay!

[LAUGHING]

- Oh!
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]

happy reopening.

- Sort of.
- Yeah, sort of.

Thank you.

Is Ralph Angel popping?

No, he, um...

He couldn't make it.

I see.

But the flowers are from both of us.

Mmm-hmm.

- How's Blue?
- So far so good.

He's still adjusting to my mom's

rules and ways about her house.

But I think...

I think the real test is gonna come

when
he starts school in a couple of days.

So we shall see.

[DOOR OPENS]

Well, I should probably get going.

Of course. [CHUCKLES]

I understand.

Congratulations.

Thank you, baby.

[DOOR OPENS]

[NOVA] I ask my ancestors for wisdom.

I ask for guidance.

I ask for the capacity to love
from a place of truth

and healing.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

All right. I hope you know
how sorry I am for what I did.

Your feelings aren't the issue.

[SIGHS]

Am I allowed to get better?

To be better than I was.

You didn't know

it was wrong to stomp a 19-year-old
in the back until it cracked?

You knew.

And you decided not to
be better in that moment

and then to deny it

and then to hide it.

Yes. Yes,
what I did was wrong and I knew it,

to fit in,

- to protect myself...
- He's paralyzed.

I know. I've been trying
to keep up with him from afar.

I want to yell

and fight.

I want to scream and...

I want to hurt you.

I want you to know
how much you've hurt me.

- Please...
- But I can't. I can't scream.

Can't yell.

Can't even write about this.

I feel like I can't move.

Like I'm paralyzed, too.

I'm ashamed that I'm so scared.

[SOBS] I'm ashamed
that I want to protect you.

I'm the only one who should
be ashamed for what I did.

What I did was in my past.
It's far in my past.

It's not me.

It never was.

[SOBS, BREATHES SHAKILY]

You know me.

Mm.

I'm yours.

You know who I am.

- I'm yours, baby.
- [SOBS]

I'm so sorry.

You ready for today?

Mm. Yeah. How about you?

Oh, baby, I'm so excited
about the real spot zone.

[LAUGHS]

Micah taught me
everything I needed to know

about how to run a session.

Rsvps are coming in nice.

I'm thinking we're gonna get
six or seven guys.

No, baby.

We up to 46.

Oh! [LAUGHING]

You are doing it.

Mm.

You are doing what you always do.

Shine.

I'm so proud of you.

Ah, thank you, baby.

No, we just can't wait
for the bad to be over.

No, we got to live through it

and find pieces of joy along the way.

You're right.

I'm gonna call Ralph Angel.

It's the right thing to do.

And I'm sorry if I had to talk
a little tough for you to hear it.

But I'll make it up to you.

What you got in mind?

You.

[CHUCKLES]

I got you in mind.

[LAUGHING]

[HOLLYWOOD GRUNTS]

Mm, but not right now.

Right now, you're gonna
finish doing this.

I'll finish doing what I'm doing.

We'll link back up later.

[LAUGHING]

Uh-huh.

Get out of here.

- Mm.
- [LAUGHING]

so, how are you feeling? Back to 100%?

I'd say... 87%.

Mm. [CHUCKLES]

It's the precision for me.

[LAUGHING]

[SIGHS LIGHTLY]

So...

Do you have any idea
why I asked you to meet?

Not for sure,

but I'm hoping it's not
what I hope it's not.

What do you hope it's not?

Something tough about Micah

you didn't want
to talk about on the phone.

Is keke pregnant?

[LAUGHS]

No.

As far as I'm aware,
keke is not pregnant.

Not by Micah anyway.

You don't know that they broke up?

I did not know that, no.

He stopped talking to me

about girls and stuff
a while back, understandably.

It's interesting that...

Micah and keke
having a baby at their age

is your worst fear for him.

Nah, I wouldn't say
that's my worst fear.

You know, him being hurt physically

is definitely my worst fear,

but a baby... Would be a close second.

We were his age.

Wasn't that awful.

No, it wasn't awful at all.

If only for one reason.

Half of the couple in question
was Charley Bordelon.

I mean, don't get me wrong. Keke
is cool and all, but she ain't you.

And Micah is a very, very smart kid,

but he ain't you either.

I mean, you were the only part of us

that made it possible for that
situation to be the opposite of awful.

You know? It was probably
the most beautiful time of my life.

I've never heard you
talk about it that way.

Your decision to keep Micah,

you know, face your mother, Ernest,

everyone who was looking at you to excel

and become the quintessential black
woman

scholar you were destined to be.

- [CHARLEY CHUCKLES]
- you know, come on.

Single mother
did not figure into that plan.

But you never wavered.

And you had this kind of
resolve and... And fortitude

that I had never seen in a person.

Before or since.

I wish I would have
told you that before now.

You should have heard it every day.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Oh...

It's the Blue Bordelon.

- Hey, pops. It's good to see you.
- It's good to see you, too.

- How you doin', buddy?
- Everything is great.

It is amazing, terrific. I
promise. How are you and mom?

- Is that Blue? Hi. [CHUCKLES]
- Hey, ma!

I had my first day of school yesterday.

I can't wait to show you all
the cool stuff I'm working on

when I come home for the holidays.

My teachers are so so cool.

- Oh, Blue... [CHUCKLES]
- I know you miss me

and I miss you too, but in a good way.

Hey, we miss you too in a good way.

In a good way, yes.

How was your first day?

- How was everything?
- Were they nice to you?

It is amazing.

I love it. I love everything
about it here.

[CHUCKLES]

That's so wonderful, baby.

I'm so happy that you're this happy.

Thank you, guys,
for letting me come here.

Thank you so so much.

Grandma's calling me for
breakfast. So I'll see you guys later.

- Love you.
- Love you, too.

And make sure
you call us again soon, Blue.

- We love you, sweetheart.
- We love you so much.

Have a good day!

[PHONE BEEPS]

- Just like that.
- [CHUCKLES]

- [SIGHS]
- just like that.

- He's happy.
- Yeah, I know.

He'll be all right.

[SIGHS]

I remember feeling like...

No expectation made of me

was as strong as my mission to
make a family with you and Michael.

[CHUCKLES] yeah.

You were definitely on a mission.

I mean, strong.

You made me believe we could do it.

I thought...

I could build this fortress

around us that was so strong,

so undeniable...

That nothing could ever touch us,

nothing could ever take you
away from me.

And you did that.

[SIGHS] you just didn't calculate

that the monster was already
inside the fortress with you.

You had children with other people.

- One.
- That's enough.

Yeah. It's too much.

It shouldn't have happened and

I shouldn't
have hidden it when it did happen.

Melina Goldie.

I defended you.

I paid her off.

That was the biggest failure of my life.

I remember longing...

I mean, longing to be with you
when you were on the road.

It was the same feeling

of wanting to be with my
father when I was younger.

I wanted his love so desperately.

And it felt like...

Somehow I...

I never could grasp it.

I remember what that felt like.

Imagining daddy with this
family I wasn't part of.

Nova and Ralph Angel being
able to see him every day.

Them all happy...

Without me.

Like you...

Happier with these other women...

And having children...

Without me.

I was never happier when
I wasn't with you, Charley.

Then why?

Why did you do that, Davis?

Why did you do that to us?

[SNIFFLES]

Uh... Look...

The only reason
a person actively destroys

everything good in their life
is because...

Is... Because...

Because they hate who they are.

I hated myself, Charlie.

I've had to face myself
head-on over the last four years.

Oh, we've... We've all got these

corners of our mind where
we keep all the bad stuff,

the memories, the guilt
we don't want to face.

But I've gone to my corners...

And I've taken all that
stuff out, one by one...

And I've looked at it all.

All of it...

For what it is...

And for what it says about me.

I was the monster inside our fortress.

And I am not that anymore.

Who are you now then, Davis?

That's why I asked you here.

I need to know if that kind selfless man

who was there for me when I was sick...

Who went above and beyond...

Who cared...

I need to know if he's real.

If that's the real you, Davis.

It's me.

It's me, I'm real and I'm here.

I'm here for you, Charlie.

And I can finally love you
the way you always deserved.

If you'll let me.

? Give me what I want when I'm ready ?

? you always hold it down ?

? anybody else I'd be gone by now ?

? does it really matter?
All that really matters ?

? second I'm with you
all my love pour out ?

? serve it on a platter,
all that really matters ?

? all that really matters is
you keep showing up ?

? promise I'll remind you that
you are more than enough ?

is this payback from your dinner?

When you gonna tell me
where we're going?

Look, it's what the latins
call a quid pro quo.

A surprise for a surprise.

[CHUCKLES] well, I know
it ain't a restaurant,

because half of them are closed down,

and the numbers are surging
in New Orleans, so...

Baby, I know all that. Can
you just hold off for a second?

All right?

Because your chariot awaits.

[LAUGHS] I know you don't
think I'm getting on that thing.

A-ha-ha! Yes, I do!

You can't have joy in life
without taking a little risk, right?

- No.
- You know all this already.

[LAUGHING]

Ah, look at it.

Let me hear you say "no" now.

- [ALL LAUGHING]
- mm-hmm.

There you go, get right on in there.

Oh. Oh, no, you didn't.

Yes, I did.

Yes, I did. [LAUGHING]

Now, I just want you to know,
don't get jealous...

- Oh, you gonna beat me?
- ...When I smoke you.

Hey, you call me evel knievel.

- When I smoke you.
- Let's go.

Leave you trying to catch up with me.

- Oh, lord, I can't even get the...
- bye!

- Oh! Stop!
- [LAUGHING]

I love you, Vi.

I love you more, Hollywood!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Yeah, baby, we gonna be all right.

Yes, yes, yes. We gonna be all right!

[LAUGHING]

Micah,

this is really good work, son.

Thanks.

Thank you for...

Being here, when I wasn't.

Yeah.

Well, I'm kind of glad that you weren't.

Cause she would have never
wanted you to see her like that.

She got really bad?

- Mm-hmm.
- But I'm not anymore.

I'm okay.

I just wished you called me,

but I understand why you didn't.

Now, I just got a taste of...

What it's like when someone you love

decides to do something
that you don't agree with,

and there's nothing you can do about it.

You just gotta respect their decision,
love them anyway.

Now, that's what you have
always done for me.

I felt how hard it was and I just...

Thank you for giving
me that all the time.

But I do have some
more photos to show y'all.

So this was like protest stuff,

but we went to this church service.

So many beautiful faces,

and then the elders pulled up, look.

Look at this lady.

Singing herself off.

Oh, that's a good one.

- Go back, go back.
- She's...

- Yes, I love that one.
- Look at that.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Are you expecting someone?

[CALVIN] yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Hi.
- [OFFICER] Nola pd. Internal affairs.

Are you Calvin Gaston?

- [CALVIN] yes, I am.
- [OFFICER] we're here to ask you

to accompany us
to Nola pd central station

- regarding your call.
- [CALVIN] yes.

What did you do?

[CALVIN] the right thing.

Finally.

? Privilege disturbs my peace ?

? violates my freedoms constantly ?

[SOBBING]

? In my world of harsh reality ?

? you're the one safe haven
where I roam free ?

though we never saw them shooting stars

Blue was so excited
about seeing a few weeks back,

sky hella bright tonight.

And it's shining bright.

Like Blue.

It's good to see him happy, huh?

Hmm.

That's our little star.

And we're letting him be that.

[CHUCKLES]

Thank you for making dinner.

My chicken noodle soup
came a long way, huh?

Mm.

[CHUCKLES]

It has.

And we've come a long way too.

You all right?

You're gonna be fine, baby.

I'm not sad.

I'm happy.

And...

I want you to be happy too.

I just need some time, that's all.

Get used to all this quiet.

No more Blue

waking me up all early.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

- Talking about pops.
- [BOTH LAUGH]

"Pops!"

That little voice,

I will miss that.

Ralph Angel...

You are the best father to Blue.

[CHUCKLES]

You were exquisite.

And you're gonna be a father again.

I'm pregnant.

With your child.

Pregnant with mine.

Yeah. [LAUGHS]

- Pregnant with my child?
- Yes.

[LAUGHS]

Stop playing.

You always blessing me, doll.

Blessing me.

You're my blessing.

You truly are.

[BOTH LAUGH]

? Where your heart is lifted up ?

? look inside give it all ?

? all you got ?

? lift yourself higher ?

[RALPH] I love you.

[DARLA] I love you.

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