Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:00:34,953 --> 00:00:35,745
Humans?
3
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:36,996
So tiny!
4
00:00:39,916 --> 00:00:41,626
Why poke my foot?
5
00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:45,213
Monk Tang, over here!
6
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:45,964
Monk Tang.
7
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,257
Over here!
8
00:00:48,383 --> 00:00:50,385
You've been asleep for ages.
9
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,887
We wanted to wake you...
10
00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:54,889
We have good news...
11
00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:57,225
Sorry.
12
00:00:58,518 --> 00:00:59,394
Sorry.
13
00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:00,520
Sorry.
14
00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:04,023
Monk Tang, we have great news to tell you.
15
00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:06,818
Congratulations!
16
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,236
You're in the place...
17
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,030
...you've always dreamed of.
18
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,114
This is India?
19
00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:13,616
Correct!
20
00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:15,577
India
21
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,538
I've reached my destination at last.
22
00:01:18,705 --> 00:01:20,832
Sorry.
23
00:01:25,295 --> 00:01:26,629
Master.
24
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:31,718
You've shrunk too?
25
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,769
Master, why are you in India too?
26
00:01:42,312 --> 00:01:45,106
Monk Tang, you haven't let me down.
27
00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:46,774
You wanted 22 sutras.
28
00:01:46,858 --> 00:01:50,403
They're loaded on 10 horse carts.
29
00:01:50,570 --> 00:01:51,904
They're yours if you want them.
30
00:01:51,988 --> 00:01:53,990
Help yourself.
31
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,076
But the main reason I'm here today...
32
00:01:57,327 --> 00:01:59,162
...is to give you an award.
33
00:01:59,245 --> 00:02:00,246
What award?
34
00:02:00,413 --> 00:02:02,415
For living this long.
35
00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,761
Try it on.
36
00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:17,847
What an honor.
37
00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,517
I like it.
38
00:02:21,601 --> 00:02:23,227
Discreet or bold...
39
00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:25,063
You control it.
40
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:28,399
The right side is brighter, you see?
41
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,736
You can even it up.
42
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,738
May we ask for a few words?
43
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,198
I need to think about it.
44
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:39,410
Master!
45
00:02:39,494 --> 00:02:40,745
What... is going on?
46
00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,538
Have fun!
47
00:03:04,811 --> 00:03:07,105
Monk! Pay your way...
48
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,548
...or the boss will throw you out.
49
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,400
I know.
50
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:16,948
Blindfold knife-throwing!
Amazing physical feats!
51
00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:20,410
Roll up, roll up! Don't miss this!
52
00:03:26,541 --> 00:03:30,378
Our guest stars are travelers heading west...
53
00:03:31,504 --> 00:03:32,922
The pig, the fish and the monkey.
54
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,341
Greatest show on earth.
55
00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:39,470
Only two cents per person.
56
00:03:39,554 --> 00:03:41,347
How about half price?
57
00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:42,890
Buy one, get one free?
58
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:44,350
It's a deal.
59
00:03:44,434 --> 00:03:45,560
Thank you.
60
00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:47,937
Show time.
61
00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:51,315
The gorgeous... Pigsy!
62
00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:53,775
Woman...
63
00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,656
What's your name? Your age?
64
00:03:58,740 --> 00:03:59,949
Crazy!
65
00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:01,367
The great fish monster...
66
00:04:01,451 --> 00:04:03,661
...Sandy!
67
00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,342
How dare you scare my kid! Shame on you!
68
00:04:19,010 --> 00:04:20,010
Money back!
69
00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:22,138
Money back?
70
00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,848
Making me angry?
71
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:26,392
Money back!
72
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:30,188
Give us another chance!
73
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,105
We have more to show you.
74
00:04:31,189 --> 00:04:32,189
Give us another chance!
75
00:04:32,899 --> 00:04:33,983
If we don't like 'em...
76
00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:36,068
You pay everyone back double!
77
00:04:37,487 --> 00:04:38,571
All right.
78
00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:42,200
His Excellency... The Monkey King!
79
00:04:49,916 --> 00:04:51,292
Fake! Money back!
80
00:04:52,627 --> 00:04:54,629
Monkey, do some somersaults!
81
00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,547
Paying back double will clean us out!
82
00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:10,520
All right...
83
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,873
Your generosity will
keep us fed for several days.
84
00:05:12,897 --> 00:05:14,065
Take it back.
85
00:05:15,066 --> 00:05:16,859
Boss, this monk cheats!
86
00:05:16,943 --> 00:05:19,821
He can't pay us back! Throw him out!
87
00:05:19,904 --> 00:05:22,114
You're a disgrace to my circus! Scram!
88
00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:27,578
Boss, we're not circus people.
89
00:05:27,954 --> 00:05:29,038
We are Buddhist monks.
90
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,582
Our road is long and hard, we are hungry.
91
00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:33,584
And I'm sick!
92
00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:36,337
My body aches.
93
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:39,006
It's been days since I last ate.
94
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:41,175
So pitiful? Come...
95
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,428
These two buns...
96
00:05:44,804 --> 00:05:45,680
...are for righteous men.
97
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,765
Men who deserve help.
98
00:05:47,849 --> 00:05:49,267
Are you worthy?
99
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,370
We're really from the Great Tang Dynasty.
100
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:53,271
We conquer demons.
101
00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:57,692
Monkey, show them your skills.
102
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:14,917
Hit me.
103
00:06:15,877 --> 00:06:17,086
Hit me
104
00:06:17,295 --> 00:06:18,629
I can't do that, Brother Monkey
105
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,215
I'm not suicidal.
106
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,509
Shall I hit you then?
107
00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:25,887
I'd like that even less, Brother Monkey.
108
00:06:26,304 --> 00:06:28,139
Fine, you only live once, I'll hit you.
109
00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:34,061
Brother, you're hard as a rock!
110
00:06:34,145 --> 00:06:36,355
It's as if my whole arm is shattered!
111
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:38,858
Pretty boy, have you no shame?
112
00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:40,794
Watch some more before you complain.
113
00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,361
And stop poking me
114
00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:43,445
I need to.
115
00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:49,118
Hit me... Master wants us to perform
116
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,495
I'm hungry, I have no strength.
117
00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,247
Again.
118
00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:56,250
That's no excuse for shirking.
119
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:57,710
Hit me, stupid!
120
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,479
I've heard there are
fake demon-vanquishers around.
121
00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:02,131
They've left many people hurt.
122
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,382
You must be the ones!
123
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:05,134
Yes, we're guilty.
124
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:08,179
The problem is that my disciples are too strong.
125
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,181
Sure, you just keep on bragging...
126
00:07:23,653 --> 00:07:25,196
One blow is enough.
127
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:26,781
Stop now.
128
00:07:33,037 --> 00:07:34,038
That'll do for now.
129
00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:38,000
You're so desirable!
130
00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:39,669
Let me stoke your fires a little.
131
00:07:41,379 --> 00:07:42,713
No! Get off me!
132
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,757
Monkey, don't just squat there.
133
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,258
Do something about it!
134
00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:19,834
I'm so sorry, that's really all from us.
135
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:21,544
No charge for what you've just seen.
136
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:22,627
Great sir.
137
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:26,048
Your performance is more than impressive.
138
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,926
Say no more, try this candied fruit.
139
00:08:29,010 --> 00:08:30,386
Let us be brothers.
140
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,973
Brother, now you've seen what they can do
141
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,933
I wish they could control themselves better.
142
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,562
We really do conquer demons.
143
00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:40,645
Of course you do.
144
00:08:41,731 --> 00:08:44,025
Monkey, come and apologize.
145
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:53,659
Pick up your head-band.
146
00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:58,873
Put it on.
147
00:09:00,875 --> 00:09:02,293
Wear it properly now
148
00:09:03,169 --> 00:09:04,628
I'm doing it.
149
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:08,340
You talk while chewing a twig? Bad monkey!
150
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,470
I won't if you don't like it.
151
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,641
But stop calling me 'Bad monkey'!
152
00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:20,478
I can call you that if I want to.
153
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,228
Bad monkey.
154
00:09:21,312 --> 00:09:22,605
Bad monkey.
155
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:23,981
Great!
156
00:09:24,315 --> 00:09:27,026
Say it just one more time...
157
00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,486
I'm scared.
158
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,654
It's horrible! Makes me so scared!
159
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,281
Aren't you all afraid?
160
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:42,249
Even if he throws tantrums.
161
00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:44,001
You can't be lenient.
162
00:09:44,085 --> 00:09:45,878
Let's all scold him together
163
00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:47,963
1, 2, 3...
164
00:09:48,047 --> 00:09:50,758
Bad monkey!
165
00:09:55,805 --> 00:09:57,014
"My boy, my boy..."
166
00:09:57,098 --> 00:10:00,309
"Why are you so bad?"
167
00:10:01,227 --> 00:10:02,603
"Bullying, cheating..."
168
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:06,023
"Why make me so sad?"
169
00:10:06,148 --> 00:10:08,234
"Learn to be a good boy."
170
00:10:08,943 --> 00:10:10,694
"Learn to love."
171
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:14,406
"Care for others."
172
00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:16,367
"Fill your heart with color"
173
00:10:17,952 --> 00:10:19,703
“My good boy...“
174
00:10:19,954 --> 00:10:23,290
"Hurry back to me."
175
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,543
"My embrace..."
176
00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,714
“My good boy...“
177
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,884
"Be sincere."
178
00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:38,305
"You're the one I love most."
179
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,153
Master, ours is just a small enterprise.
180
00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:54,905
What you see is all we have.
181
00:10:55,406 --> 00:10:57,366
If it's not enough for you...
182
00:10:57,449 --> 00:10:59,785
...then all we can is offer our lives.
183
00:10:59,869 --> 00:11:01,162
Stop.
184
00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:05,124
First, I'm not here to extort anything from you.
185
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:06,625
Second...
186
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:09,086
Never mind, I won't say it.
187
00:12:07,645 --> 00:12:12,358
JOURNEY TO THE WEST:
THE DEMONS STRIKE BACK
188
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,746
When did your mother...
189
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:26,956
...start behaving like this?
190
00:12:27,248 --> 00:12:28,666
A few days ago
191
00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,167
I don't know why.
192
00:12:30,251 --> 00:12:32,002
Soon after we moved here...
193
00:12:32,086 --> 00:12:33,462
...she began talking nonsense.
194
00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:37,174
If I approach her...
195
00:12:37,967 --> 00:12:41,053
...she scratches me like a mad thing.
196
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:43,847
I have no idea why she's like this
197
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,141
I'm completely exhausted.
198
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,394
Luckily my two daughters...
199
00:12:48,519 --> 00:12:50,521
...help me take care of my mother.
200
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,566
It wears them out.
201
00:12:55,276 --> 00:12:56,860
They're your daughters?
202
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,279
God-daughters.
203
00:12:58,737 --> 00:12:59,738
How old are they?
204
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:00,864
They just turned sixteen.
205
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,575
They look a little haggard.
206
00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:06,161
They've been working too hard.
207
00:13:06,245 --> 00:13:07,746
They were radiant before.
208
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,331
How horrible!
209
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:12,209
Grandma, have some congee.
210
00:13:12,293 --> 00:13:15,129
You haven't eaten all day.
211
00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:17,006
Another fit?
212
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,010
Ma, are you all right?
213
00:13:23,095 --> 00:13:24,221
Ma, Ma, Ma...
214
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:27,099
It's me... Calm down.
215
00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:33,564
Quick! The exorcism mirror!
216
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:34,647
Coming right up!
217
00:13:35,107 --> 00:13:36,501
Ten thousand gods send down thunderbolts...
218
00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:38,569
...to reveal the hidden demons!
219
00:13:39,737 --> 00:13:41,071
Show yourself!
220
00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:47,661
All demons, be revealed!
221
00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:55,586
Nothing?
222
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:59,840
But the whole room smells foul.
223
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:02,468
If it's not her body, then...
224
00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:05,179
...maybe she has second sight.
225
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,848
She sees the demons in others.
226
00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:09,767
That's why she's so scared.
227
00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,853
Could it be those two?
228
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,275
I've put up with them for too long.
229
00:14:18,359 --> 00:14:20,402
All demons, be revealed!
230
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:26,575
Too bright! I can't see anything!
231
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,410
What? Not them either.
232
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:31,914
Could it be...
233
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,342
A hairy crab!
234
00:14:56,814 --> 00:14:58,982
You bad monkey!
235
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:03,320
You bad monkey!
236
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,410
Bad monkey!
237
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:15,082
Look at that.
238
00:15:15,249 --> 00:15:17,543
Master's whip is really strong today.
239
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:21,004
That whip has kept Monkey
under control for 500 years.
240
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,714
It needs to be strong.
241
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:39,665
You knew those two were shape-shifters.
242
00:15:39,857 --> 00:15:41,400
Why didn't you stop them?
243
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,110
You asked me to perform.
244
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:44,278
Sol did.
245
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,696
And what did you perform?
246
00:15:45,863 --> 00:15:47,048
I asked for a couple of somersaults.
247
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,699
And you destroyed a family!
248
00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:51,243
Then you shouldn't have called me "Bad monkey".
249
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:54,788
You know that makes me go berserk
250
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,624
I didn't mean to call you that.
251
00:15:57,708 --> 00:15:59,126
Everyone knows I don't mean it.
252
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,919
Such a small thing and you try to kill me?
253
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,003
Such ruthless.
254
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:04,214
Open your mouth!
255
00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:08,802
Wider! You want my life.
256
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,434
Now I'm offering you my life.
257
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,811
Bite! You're a coward if you don't.
258
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:21,148
Hey, something to see here!
259
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:22,608
Bite!
260
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:23,775
Do it.
261
00:16:28,614 --> 00:16:29,854
Why did you treat me like that?
262
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,118
Speak! Say something!
263
00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:34,285
Why do you keep doing it?
264
00:16:34,328 --> 00:16:36,622
Cheating me! Provoking me!
265
00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:40,292
Hurting me! Torturing me! Mistreating me!
266
00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:44,796
It seems our days of conquering demons...
267
00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:48,926
...have come to an end.
268
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:53,514
Let's disband.
269
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,140
"Disband"?
270
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,644
Does "disband" mean he wants to kill us?
271
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:00,729
Master!
272
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:06,276
I understand why Master does these things.
273
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:08,904
But please drink this medicine first.
274
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,365
From now on... I'll be obedient.
275
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:16,578
What are you saying? I'm not punishing you.
276
00:17:18,789 --> 00:17:20,832
Master, you surely know...
277
00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:24,336
My brothers and I... We are all of one heart.
278
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:27,214
If you punish Brother Monkey...
Then my heart aches too.
279
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,297
And my heart...
280
00:17:28,674 --> 00:17:31,093
...is really aching.
281
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,473
That's so true.
282
00:17:36,557 --> 00:17:37,266
When I hit you.
283
00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:38,350
My heart really aches.
284
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,993
Master, try it if you don't believe us.
285
00:17:42,521 --> 00:17:44,356
When I punish you...
286
00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,526
I suffer heartache too.
287
00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:50,242
If I'd set off to find the sutras on my own...
288
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,738
I'd have got there long ago.
289
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:54,008
Having you with me doesn't help at all
290
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:56,493
I can subdue one hundred foes...
291
00:17:56,577 --> 00:17:57,578
...single-handed.
292
00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:58,741
Do I need to tell you this?
293
00:17:58,996 --> 00:18:02,165
I've mastered Buddha's Palm.
294
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,750
Do I really need to tell you this?
295
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:07,713
So it's not that
you're helping me to find the sutras
296
00:18:07,838 --> 00:18:10,716
I'm helping you
to make merit and learn Buddhism.
297
00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,884
Do I make myself crystal clear?
298
00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:14,344
Do you get it?
299
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:15,971
Yes, we do.
300
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,394
That's enough for now.
301
00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:24,896
Go to bed, we've got much to do tomorrow.
302
00:18:35,741 --> 00:18:37,409
"Sinful monkey!"
303
00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:40,454
"I'll show you my Buddha's Palm!"
304
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:20,117
Did you miss me?
305
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,331
He's even teasing Brother Monkey.
306
00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:26,174
Master's mind has reached such a high level.
307
00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:29,211
That's not Brother Monkey he's embracing.
308
00:19:29,503 --> 00:19:31,296
It's someone else.
309
00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:45,644
Amitabha, Amitabha.
310
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,813
Master, you seemed happy last night.
311
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,565
We were happy to see you happy.
312
00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:52,943
But we won't tell on you.
313
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:55,570
What are you on about?
314
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:56,947
No water left.
315
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,699
Second Brother, fetch some water.
316
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,243
Why do I have to do it?
317
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:02,327
How did you come up...
318
00:20:02,411 --> 00:20:03,537
...up with that idea?
319
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,622
Stop quarreling, I'll go.
320
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,512
Alms giver, excuse me...
321
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:21,513
I was just passing.
322
00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,598
May I trouble you for water to boil rice?
323
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,935
There's no need for that.
324
00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:29,062
You're welcome to eat here
325
00:20:29,146 --> 00:20:30,856
I'm vegetarian.
326
00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:32,691
What luck!
327
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,694
We're having vegetarian food.
328
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,797
We're devout too, we share the same path.
329
00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:39,656
It's natural for us to share our meal.
330
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,367
And you can stay after eating.
331
00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:45,454
We'll be able to compare notes.
332
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:49,666
He's ill, won't he taste bad?
333
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,961
Never mind, we can heal him first.
334
00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:55,088
It would be impolite to refuse.
335
00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:58,300
No need to cook come and eat here.
336
00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:00,135
What about my congee?
337
00:21:00,218 --> 00:21:02,012
I prepared it this morning.
338
00:21:03,722 --> 00:21:05,390
Your congee will be burnt.
339
00:21:05,474 --> 00:21:07,225
Go back and watch the fire.
340
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:33,794
Alms giver, your medicine works a treat
341
00:21:33,877 --> 00:21:35,921
I feel better already.
342
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,381
These three are my delinquent disciples.
343
00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:01,488
Nice to meet you.
344
00:22:02,239 --> 00:22:04,199
Nice to meet you.
345
00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:06,283
Nice to meet you.
346
00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:08,703
Nice to meet you.
347
00:22:11,790 --> 00:22:13,208
Don't flirt.
348
00:22:15,293 --> 00:22:17,379
Nice to meet you.
349
00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:19,589
To hell with that, what's nice about it?
350
00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:21,883
Sandy, what are you saying?
351
00:22:22,259 --> 00:22:23,677
I was cooking congee.
352
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,303
What are you up to?
353
00:22:25,387 --> 00:22:26,513
"Nice, nice, nice..."
354
00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:28,348
What do you all think you're doing?
355
00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:31,017
I'm sorry, my disciple is a touch simple-minded.
356
00:22:31,142 --> 00:22:32,435
It doesn't matter.
357
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:34,020
May I just ask you...
358
00:22:34,104 --> 00:22:36,106
Are there any demons here?
359
00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:38,525
Master, please don't scare me.
360
00:22:38,608 --> 00:22:39,943
Why would there be demons here?
361
00:22:40,694 --> 00:22:41,736
You're going too far.
362
00:22:42,946 --> 00:22:45,073
Why ask such a question?
363
00:22:46,283 --> 00:22:47,659
Actually...
364
00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:49,703
We conquer demons.
365
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:52,539
I did wonder... Really?
366
00:22:52,622 --> 00:22:54,374
You've been so hospitable...
367
00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:55,876
But we have nothing to repay it.
368
00:22:55,959 --> 00:22:58,211
All I can offer is a one-off exorcism.
369
00:22:58,295 --> 00:23:01,673
Really? You're terribly kind...
370
00:23:02,299 --> 00:23:03,884
But, sad to say...
371
00:23:03,967 --> 00:23:05,886
There are no demons here.
372
00:23:08,471 --> 00:23:10,140
See my face?
373
00:23:10,724 --> 00:23:11,724
Hit me.
374
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:14,436
Come on, quick!
375
00:23:14,519 --> 00:23:17,188
If you don't, I'll beat you to death.
376
00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:19,357
Really?
377
00:23:19,441 --> 00:23:20,984
Why?
378
00:23:26,948 --> 00:23:28,575
I told you to hit me, scum
379
00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,577
I'll ask you again.
380
00:23:30,744 --> 00:23:34,372
Hit me, you asshole!
381
00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,210
Have you lost it again?
382
00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:40,712
I'm not an asshole.
383
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:42,964
You definitely are.
384
00:23:43,173 --> 00:23:45,050
But I was calling her an asshole, not you.
385
00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:46,551
Damn you!
386
00:23:46,843 --> 00:23:48,470
You assholes take me as your Master?
387
00:23:48,553 --> 00:23:49,553
Clear out of here.
388
00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:51,431
Clear out of here.
389
00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:53,015
Sorry about that.
390
00:23:54,017 --> 00:23:55,477
Get out, all of you.
391
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,354
She kindly invited us to eat.
392
00:23:57,896 --> 00:24:00,774
You bang her table and ask her to hit you.
393
00:24:00,857 --> 00:24:02,067
And call her an asshole.
394
00:24:02,150 --> 00:24:03,902
Go and face the wall.
395
00:24:03,985 --> 00:24:04,778
Contemplate what you've done.
396
00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:07,489
What have you ever contributed to society?
397
00:24:07,572 --> 00:24:10,367
Don't come back until you figure it out.
398
00:24:21,086 --> 00:24:22,671
Come back!
399
00:24:23,088 --> 00:24:24,607
Master, we haven't figured it out yet.
400
00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:25,882
Don't give it any more thought.
401
00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:27,132
Come back!
402
00:24:27,509 --> 00:24:29,761
Still contemplating it.
403
00:24:29,844 --> 00:24:31,513
She's caught me!
404
00:25:04,212 --> 00:25:05,338
Rake.
405
00:25:09,718 --> 00:25:10,719
Up, up!
406
00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:11,803
Up, up!
407
00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:13,763
Quick, up!
408
00:25:17,726 --> 00:25:20,687
You can stop now.
409
00:25:46,921 --> 00:25:49,215
Master, time to show your hand.
410
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,135
You're so kind.
411
00:26:12,155 --> 00:26:13,155
Beauty!
412
00:26:13,615 --> 00:26:15,617
Such long legs...
413
00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:17,118
- What're you doing?
- I like them
414
00:26:23,917 --> 00:26:25,335
I'm a spider!
415
00:26:25,418 --> 00:26:27,337
You must be kidding!
416
00:26:29,005 --> 00:26:30,215
I'm just a pig.
417
00:26:30,799 --> 00:26:31,799
I wasn't kidding.
418
00:26:38,932 --> 00:26:41,142
Your resistance makes me stronger.
419
00:26:46,356 --> 00:26:48,316
Don't go, I am talking to you!
420
00:27:57,427 --> 00:27:58,678
What's that noise?
421
00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:00,680
Don't worry, it's Sandy
422
00:28:01,306 --> 00:28:03,308
Sandy, are you all right?
423
00:28:04,642 --> 00:28:06,895
A bit poisoned, a bit dazed.
424
00:28:12,567 --> 00:28:15,737
Seems like time for me to step in now.
425
00:28:15,820 --> 00:28:18,448
Conquering demons takes sincerity.
426
00:28:18,531 --> 00:28:20,158
Lead them to benevolence.
427
00:28:20,241 --> 00:28:22,243
No violence necessary.
428
00:28:24,913 --> 00:28:29,959
"Without a knife, a butcher can be a Buddha."
429
00:29:04,702 --> 00:29:06,120
Stop!
430
00:29:06,704 --> 00:29:08,039
Monkey...
431
00:29:08,498 --> 00:29:09,874
You are too rude.
432
00:29:09,958 --> 00:29:11,518
Only a coolie needs to use such strength.
433
00:29:11,542 --> 00:29:12,542
Go away.
434
00:29:12,752 --> 00:29:13,795
Let me handle this.
435
00:29:20,885 --> 00:29:22,762
Brother Monkey, be more gentle
436
00:29:22,887 --> 00:29:24,597
I've only just got started with her.
437
00:29:24,681 --> 00:29:26,724
She has such long legs.
438
00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:27,892
A rare species though.
439
00:29:27,976 --> 00:29:28,976
Quiet.
440
00:29:31,813 --> 00:29:33,273
Let go.
441
00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:03,720
All done, Master.
442
00:30:05,888 --> 00:30:07,140
What?
443
00:30:07,682 --> 00:30:09,684
You finished her before I had a chance.
444
00:30:09,767 --> 00:30:11,060
What were you thinking?
445
00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:14,147
What, don't you know you were in great danger?
446
00:30:14,439 --> 00:30:16,566
She coulda swallowed you whole.
447
00:30:16,649 --> 00:30:18,234
You're lucky I strike fast
448
00:30:18,318 --> 00:30:19,336
I took her out with one blow.
449
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,487
How many times have I told you?
450
00:30:21,571 --> 00:30:23,197
To conquer a demon, educate it.
451
00:30:23,281 --> 00:30:25,366
Didn't you see the smile on her face just now?
452
00:30:26,367 --> 00:30:27,660
Smile?
453
00:30:27,744 --> 00:30:29,384
She smiled at the prospect of eating you.
454
00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:30,913
Outrageous!
455
00:30:30,997 --> 00:30:33,249
That smile was so sincere.
456
00:30:35,418 --> 00:30:36,961
My smile is even more sincere.
457
00:30:37,045 --> 00:30:38,296
Guess: do I love you?
458
00:30:38,379 --> 00:30:39,964
Or will I kill you?
459
00:30:47,513 --> 00:30:48,431
Who the hell are you?
460
00:30:48,514 --> 00:30:50,141
How can I help you?
461
00:31:05,323 --> 00:31:07,075
Did you see that? He's so handsome.
462
00:31:07,575 --> 00:31:09,660
You're almost better-looking than me.
463
00:31:09,827 --> 00:31:11,412
You know that?
464
00:31:12,246 --> 00:31:13,956
Of course, you can't stand it?
465
00:31:14,082 --> 00:31:14,749
Can you?
466
00:31:14,832 --> 00:31:16,834
Of course not, how about you?
467
00:31:16,918 --> 00:31:19,754
What's Baldy doing up there?
468
00:31:19,837 --> 00:31:20,963
Thinking.
469
00:31:21,047 --> 00:31:22,090
About what?
470
00:31:22,173 --> 00:31:23,549
About Miss Duan.
471
00:31:31,557 --> 00:31:34,060
I don't care who he's thinking about.
472
00:31:35,186 --> 00:31:37,980
I can overlook
this baldy's propensity for violence.
473
00:31:38,064 --> 00:31:39,649
But he's started going too far.
474
00:31:39,774 --> 00:31:42,819
Lying beside me, swaying and fondling...
475
00:31:42,902 --> 00:31:45,488
Asking if I miss him...
476
00:31:45,571 --> 00:31:47,949
Just thinking of it gives me goosebumps.
477
00:31:48,032 --> 00:31:49,826
Well, that needs to stop.
478
00:31:49,909 --> 00:31:51,411
Why not just kill him?
479
00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:54,247
Forget it.
480
00:31:55,081 --> 00:31:58,167
You always dance to Baldy's tune.
481
00:31:58,626 --> 00:31:59,752
You can do nothing
482
00:31:59,836 --> 00:32:01,379
I'll pull out his tongue...
483
00:32:01,462 --> 00:32:02,380
...and tie it in a knot!
484
00:32:02,463 --> 00:32:04,674
What kind of tune would he sing then?
485
00:32:05,299 --> 00:32:08,094
He still knows the Buddha's Palm technique
486
00:32:08,386 --> 00:32:09,387
I'm not scared.
487
00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:11,472
If I break his arm...
488
00:32:11,556 --> 00:32:13,307
...how can use Buddha's sodding Palm?
489
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,400
Master, how long have you been standing there?
490
00:32:23,860 --> 00:32:25,111
Just now
491
00:32:25,194 --> 00:32:26,696
I came to see how you're doing.
492
00:32:26,779 --> 00:32:28,656
Don't worry, I heard nothing.
493
00:32:31,075 --> 00:32:32,201
Master...
494
00:32:32,785 --> 00:32:34,078
How come you lost your voice?
495
00:32:34,162 --> 00:32:35,955
I haven't.
496
00:32:36,038 --> 00:32:37,038
Out here in the wild...
497
00:32:37,748 --> 00:32:40,877
...we shouldn't disturb others by being loud.
498
00:32:41,669 --> 00:32:42,503
Really?
499
00:32:42,587 --> 00:32:43,754
For sure.
500
00:32:43,838 --> 00:32:46,674
Have I ever... lied to you?
501
00:32:47,967 --> 00:32:50,470
All right, you all relax,
I'll just relieve myself
502
00:33:08,321 --> 00:33:09,780
Buddha, Buddha.
503
00:33:09,864 --> 00:33:11,991
My three disciples are unruly
504
00:33:12,074 --> 00:33:13,701
I have failed to teach them well
505
00:33:14,076 --> 00:33:15,745
I know three hundred songs for children.
506
00:33:15,828 --> 00:33:16,996
But nothing else
507
00:33:17,079 --> 00:33:19,916
I've been pretending to be capable.
508
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:22,335
How can I go on like this?
509
00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:24,587
Now they are plotting to kill me.
510
00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:26,923
And I've lost my singing voice.
511
00:33:27,089 --> 00:33:28,966
Be merciful, Buddha.
512
00:33:29,133 --> 00:33:32,178
Teach me your holy Buddha's Palm.
513
00:33:32,261 --> 00:33:34,805
Your follower will be forever grateful.
514
00:33:38,601 --> 00:33:41,646
I beg you, please
515
00:33:44,232 --> 00:33:46,400
Buddha, do your hear me?
516
00:33:46,817 --> 00:33:49,362
Give me a sign please.
517
00:33:49,737 --> 00:33:51,989
Even a little fart would do...
518
00:34:00,790 --> 00:34:04,001
Pigsy, how long have you been there?
519
00:34:04,085 --> 00:34:06,796
Not long, I didn't see what you were doing.
520
00:34:06,879 --> 00:34:08,631
Don't worry, I didn't hear anything either
521
00:34:12,009 --> 00:34:13,636
I've been good to you.
522
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,805
You know what you should do.
523
00:34:16,973 --> 00:34:18,432
What should I do?
524
00:34:18,516 --> 00:34:20,393
All I can do is be myself.
525
00:34:20,851 --> 00:34:22,728
What I was getting at is...
526
00:34:22,812 --> 00:34:25,815
"Silence is golden."
527
00:34:26,148 --> 00:34:28,901
Master, all I did was break wind.
528
00:34:28,985 --> 00:34:30,820
But all your threats and pressures...
529
00:34:30,903 --> 00:34:33,447
...weigh on me heavily.
530
00:34:34,615 --> 00:34:36,409
So that's your game.
531
00:34:36,909 --> 00:34:38,578
You should watch out
532
00:34:38,661 --> 00:34:40,079
I know where your family is.
533
00:34:40,162 --> 00:34:41,289
Understood.
534
00:34:52,717 --> 00:34:54,135
Monkey, what are you doing?
535
00:34:57,972 --> 00:34:59,849
You're the one who needs to watch out
536
00:35:00,433 --> 00:35:01,642
I'd like to experience...
537
00:35:01,726 --> 00:35:03,936
...my Master's holy Buddha's Palm.
538
00:35:04,478 --> 00:35:06,647
What are you talking about?
539
00:35:07,481 --> 00:35:08,774
You didn't get it?
540
00:35:09,233 --> 00:35:12,486
I want to compare strength with you.
541
00:35:17,366 --> 00:35:18,826
You run?
542
00:35:35,468 --> 00:35:36,677
"My boy, my boy."
543
00:35:36,927 --> 00:35:40,306
"Why are you so naughty?"
544
00:35:40,556 --> 00:35:41,974
"Bullying, cheating..."
545
00:35:42,058 --> 00:35:44,101
"Why behave that way?"
546
00:35:45,645 --> 00:35:47,229
"Learn to behave better."
547
00:35:47,396 --> 00:35:49,106
"Closeness, love."
548
00:35:50,107 --> 00:35:51,192
"Be tender in your heart."
549
00:35:51,275 --> 00:35:53,527
Damn Baldy, enough with the singing.
550
00:35:53,611 --> 00:35:55,112
Fight me!
551
00:35:55,946 --> 00:35:58,449
"Good child..."
552
00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:24,642
Where can you run to?
553
00:36:24,975 --> 00:36:27,353
All right.
554
00:36:27,853 --> 00:36:30,523
If that's what you really want,
I'll indulge you.
555
00:36:31,565 --> 00:36:33,818
So it's clobbering time.
556
00:36:33,943 --> 00:36:35,528
Wait, give me a moment.
557
00:36:55,047 --> 00:36:56,882
I was just toying with you, Master.
558
00:36:56,966 --> 00:37:00,052
Just working up a sweat.
559
00:37:04,223 --> 00:37:05,474
You scared me to death.
560
00:37:24,285 --> 00:37:25,786
What on earth are you up to now?
561
00:37:25,953 --> 00:37:27,163
None of your business.
562
00:37:27,246 --> 00:37:29,498
You're so handsome, you've gone bald...
563
00:37:29,582 --> 00:37:30,666
Do you mean that?
564
00:37:31,917 --> 00:37:33,461
I'd be a pig if I lied.
565
00:37:38,466 --> 00:37:39,300
How did it go?
566
00:37:39,383 --> 00:37:41,218
Did you tear Baldy to shreds?
567
00:37:41,302 --> 00:37:43,179
Was his blood running everywhere?
568
00:37:45,681 --> 00:37:48,100
Wait, have you really killed him?
569
00:37:49,268 --> 00:37:51,020
You tricked me.
570
00:38:10,539 --> 00:38:14,335
Pigsy, have you learnt
what "Silence is golden" means?
571
00:38:14,418 --> 00:38:16,587
I just did.
572
00:38:26,430 --> 00:38:29,266
Now you're poisoned, I have to pull you.
573
00:38:44,156 --> 00:38:45,699
Will you please stop dousing me?
574
00:38:45,866 --> 00:38:48,536
I caught a cold, my nose is runny.
575
00:38:51,789 --> 00:38:54,875
Caught a cold? Bullshit! You'd better die now.
576
00:38:55,125 --> 00:38:56,285
Less trouble for me that way.
577
00:38:58,128 --> 00:38:59,128
Monkey...
578
00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:02,424
When do you think
Sandy will turn back into a man?
579
00:39:03,801 --> 00:39:06,512
No idea, I have never paid attention to that.
580
00:39:06,595 --> 00:39:07,739
Master, you really want to know?
581
00:39:07,763 --> 00:39:08,556
Maybe...
582
00:39:08,639 --> 00:39:09,890
...not.
583
00:39:10,015 --> 00:39:13,477
"Bi-Qiu Kingdom."
584
00:40:01,609 --> 00:40:04,028
The Minister is here.
585
00:40:05,112 --> 00:40:07,531
Hail, your eminence.
586
00:40:22,254 --> 00:40:25,549
Master Tang is an eminent monk indeed.
587
00:40:25,633 --> 00:40:27,259
His bearing is graceful.
588
00:40:28,218 --> 00:40:32,014
My admiration is heartfelt.
589
00:40:46,862 --> 00:40:47,982
It's a pleasure to meet you.
590
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,199
May I ask how your eminence knew I was coming?
591
00:40:50,282 --> 00:40:52,242
I am flattered...
592
00:40:53,410 --> 00:40:55,329
Most flattered.
593
00:40:55,412 --> 00:40:57,706
Master Tang's reputation precedes him.
594
00:40:57,790 --> 00:41:00,084
And your three brilliant companions...
595
00:41:00,626 --> 00:41:02,211
...are also awe-inspiring
596
00:41:02,294 --> 00:41:04,004
I learned that the four of you...
597
00:41:04,296 --> 00:41:05,881
...would pass by here.
598
00:41:05,965 --> 00:41:09,259
The king sent me to greet you here.
599
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:11,887
Let's go to the palace.
600
00:41:15,432 --> 00:41:17,059
We can chat there.
601
00:41:22,314 --> 00:41:23,774
Neat trick.
602
00:41:25,651 --> 00:41:28,028
It's just a trifle.
603
00:41:32,992 --> 00:41:34,201
Don't play any more tricks.
604
00:41:34,284 --> 00:41:36,829
It wasn't me, I didn't do anything.
605
00:41:36,912 --> 00:41:38,122
What did I do?
606
00:41:45,754 --> 00:41:47,172
Bloom.
607
00:41:47,256 --> 00:41:48,590
Hey presto.
608
00:41:51,885 --> 00:41:52,636
Your eminence...
609
00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:55,014
There's something which puzzles me for a while.
610
00:41:55,806 --> 00:41:57,057
Are your magic tricks...
611
00:41:57,307 --> 00:41:59,226
...intended to seem fake?
612
00:42:00,728 --> 00:42:03,397
Master, we both know that in this world...
613
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,774
...magic tricks are illusions.
614
00:42:05,858 --> 00:42:09,778
Why care whether they seem real or fake?
615
00:42:09,862 --> 00:42:11,196
Let's go.
616
00:42:16,785 --> 00:42:19,329
Cultivating oneself
is different from playing tricks.
617
00:42:19,413 --> 00:42:20,914
The crucial thing...
618
00:42:21,290 --> 00:42:22,374
...is what's in the heart.
619
00:42:23,167 --> 00:42:24,167
Master...
620
00:42:25,711 --> 00:42:27,546
You are bottling something up.
621
00:42:28,213 --> 00:42:29,923
What's on your mind?
622
00:42:30,591 --> 00:42:34,720
There's someone in your heart,
you yearn for her.
623
00:42:34,803 --> 00:42:37,139
You can't forget her
624
00:42:38,557 --> 00:42:40,309
I'm afraid you're wrong, there's not.
625
00:42:40,392 --> 00:42:41,560
Learning humanity...
626
00:42:41,643 --> 00:42:43,187
...is like having religious faith.
627
00:42:43,270 --> 00:42:48,442
Following your heart will keep you young.
628
00:42:49,276 --> 00:42:52,446
A person who can't be honest with himself...
629
00:42:52,529 --> 00:42:54,573
...is hypocritical.
630
00:42:54,656 --> 00:42:57,951
That's why I cultivate myself...
631
00:42:58,160 --> 00:42:59,995
...according to my heart's desires.
632
00:43:01,705 --> 00:43:04,833
So what 'cultivation' means to you is...
633
00:43:05,250 --> 00:43:07,753
Doing what I damn well like.
634
00:43:19,723 --> 00:43:21,225
What are they kneeling for?
635
00:43:21,308 --> 00:43:24,686
It's a game, losers have to kneel.
636
00:43:24,770 --> 00:43:27,606
The king has lately taken rejuvenation pills.
637
00:43:27,689 --> 00:43:29,316
Now he behaves like a child.
638
00:43:29,983 --> 00:43:33,403
It's as if he took my counsel
about following his heart.
639
00:43:34,863 --> 00:43:37,574
The king is easily coaxed.
640
00:43:37,741 --> 00:43:40,119
Simply fawn on him and you'll be well rewarded
641
00:43:41,578 --> 00:43:44,581
I'll expect my cut, of course.
642
00:43:44,665 --> 00:43:47,000
Let's split it by 50/50, ok?
643
00:43:48,710 --> 00:43:49,336
That's...
644
00:43:49,419 --> 00:43:51,713
I'm just joking,
you didn't think I was serious?
645
00:43:54,216 --> 00:43:56,301
Look, our beauties are greeting you.
646
00:43:57,469 --> 00:44:00,806
Impressive, I like it.
647
00:44:07,771 --> 00:44:08,772
Your Majesty...
648
00:44:08,981 --> 00:44:10,440
Honorable guests are here
649
00:44:10,524 --> 00:44:11,525
I am Tang
650
00:44:11,608 --> 00:44:12,669
I am crossing your great country.
651
00:44:12,693 --> 00:44:15,070
My three disciples and I
are here to pay our respects.
652
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,573
Hug, hug.
653
00:44:22,369 --> 00:44:23,537
Splendid.
654
00:44:25,414 --> 00:44:27,166
Look, this king is sillier than our Master.
655
00:44:27,249 --> 00:44:28,375
No way.
656
00:44:28,709 --> 00:44:31,211
No-one is sillier than our Master.
657
00:44:36,216 --> 00:44:37,676
Hug, hug.
658
00:44:37,885 --> 00:44:41,054
Please respond in kind
to the king's high protocol.
659
00:44:42,764 --> 00:44:45,392
Too late, he's too stuck-up.
660
00:44:46,768 --> 00:44:48,187
Here.
661
00:44:55,652 --> 00:44:57,196
I hear that you conquer demons.
662
00:44:57,279 --> 00:44:59,156
It's true.
663
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,867
Don't believe it, show me some tricks.
664
00:45:03,994 --> 00:45:05,454
I think Your Majesty is confused.
665
00:45:05,537 --> 00:45:07,664
Conquering demons is not an acrobatic trick.
666
00:45:07,831 --> 00:45:11,001
You will do as I order.
667
00:45:11,084 --> 00:45:13,128
You will speak... as I order.
668
00:45:13,212 --> 00:45:14,504
If you don't obey.
669
00:45:14,588 --> 00:45:16,465
You insult my dignity.
670
00:45:16,715 --> 00:45:18,155
Now I'll have your head chopped off.
671
00:45:18,217 --> 00:45:19,718
And hand it on the door.
672
00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:22,721
Great, this king has brilliant ideas.
673
00:45:22,804 --> 00:45:23,847
My kind of king.
674
00:45:23,931 --> 00:45:24,931
Men.
675
00:45:25,015 --> 00:45:26,015
Off with his head!
676
00:45:27,226 --> 00:45:29,019
Don't worry...
677
00:45:31,271 --> 00:45:32,439
Really, Minister?
678
00:45:32,522 --> 00:45:33,690
It's a joke
679
00:45:33,774 --> 00:45:35,275
I see...
680
00:45:35,359 --> 00:45:37,277
It doesn't seem so.
681
00:45:37,444 --> 00:45:38,570
Doesn't seem what?
682
00:45:41,240 --> 00:45:42,032
Your Majesty.
683
00:45:42,115 --> 00:45:44,201
We can perform a bit for you.
684
00:45:44,493 --> 00:45:47,371
Monkey, show His Majesty a few tricks.
685
00:45:48,372 --> 00:45:50,791
You ask a nobody to entertain me?
686
00:45:50,874 --> 00:45:52,584
That's a deliberate insult!
687
00:45:52,668 --> 00:45:53,794
Death penalty!
688
00:45:54,002 --> 00:45:56,129
Your Majesty, I must show you my tricks.
689
00:45:56,213 --> 00:45:58,048
Don't try to talk me out of it, I'll do it.
690
00:45:58,340 --> 00:46:01,009
Just give me a moment and I'll be with you.
691
00:46:02,177 --> 00:46:03,971
Get a move on.
692
00:46:04,179 --> 00:46:06,807
Master, are you really going to perform?
693
00:46:07,182 --> 00:46:09,393
Do I have any choice?
694
00:46:17,985 --> 00:46:19,278
He can't get through.
695
00:46:20,737 --> 00:46:21,488
What should we do?
696
00:46:21,571 --> 00:46:24,491
No big deal, just show them your Buddha's Palm.
697
00:46:24,574 --> 00:46:26,660
It's not a parlor trick.
698
00:46:27,411 --> 00:46:28,651
How about I take Master's form?
699
00:46:28,704 --> 00:46:30,184
I can perform something for the king.
700
00:46:30,580 --> 00:46:33,500
You just want to have your way with the maids.
701
00:46:33,583 --> 00:46:35,002
Go now if you have the guts.
702
00:46:38,755 --> 00:46:40,048
Stone, paper, scissors.
703
00:46:40,132 --> 00:46:41,383
Stone, paper, scissors.
704
00:46:43,051 --> 00:46:44,720
I know what...
705
00:46:44,886 --> 00:46:46,086
Use the talisman of obedience.
706
00:46:46,555 --> 00:46:48,557
That again? That's an old idea.
707
00:46:48,724 --> 00:46:50,684
New ideas are thin on the ground, boss.
708
00:46:50,767 --> 00:46:52,769
It will have to do.
709
00:46:52,853 --> 00:46:54,146
Stick it on him...
710
00:46:54,229 --> 00:46:55,939
And he'll do whatever I do.
711
00:46:56,023 --> 00:46:58,233
Identical movements.
712
00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:45,405
Damn it, chop him up
713
00:47:47,157 --> 00:47:49,076
I'd be doomed if you do striptease again
714
00:47:49,159 --> 00:47:50,202
I'm not going to do this.
715
00:47:50,285 --> 00:47:51,285
You don't trust me.
716
00:47:52,037 --> 00:47:53,037
I don't
717
00:47:54,373 --> 00:47:57,042
I'm sincerely trying to help.
718
00:47:58,126 --> 00:47:59,419
And you really don't trust me?
719
00:48:01,630 --> 00:48:02,798
I don't.
720
00:48:03,131 --> 00:48:05,675
If you find that something goes wrong
you can always stop me.
721
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:07,760
You won't cheat me?
722
00:48:08,261 --> 00:48:09,805
I look like a cheat?
723
00:48:11,056 --> 00:48:12,265
Have I ever cheated you?
724
00:48:12,349 --> 00:48:13,767
More times than I can remember.
725
00:48:13,850 --> 00:48:15,060
You're right.
726
00:48:15,769 --> 00:48:16,853
You're an asshole.
727
00:48:31,952 --> 00:48:32,952
Good.
728
00:48:45,090 --> 00:48:46,383
Stop it.
729
00:48:52,013 --> 00:48:53,181
Where is he?
730
00:48:53,598 --> 00:48:55,892
You want to make me lose face again?
731
00:48:55,976 --> 00:48:56,976
Move.
732
00:49:04,484 --> 00:49:05,652
Out of the way...
733
00:49:15,620 --> 00:49:16,413
Poor Master
734
00:49:16,496 --> 00:49:17,914
I specialize in striptease.
735
00:49:17,998 --> 00:49:19,958
Master isn't as good as I am.
736
00:49:22,752 --> 00:49:23,879
Brother Monkey.
737
00:49:24,379 --> 00:49:25,505
Where did he go?
738
00:49:30,218 --> 00:49:31,218
Stop.
739
00:49:31,720 --> 00:49:32,846
Don't stop.
740
00:49:34,264 --> 00:49:35,390
No stopping.
741
00:49:35,474 --> 00:49:37,160
If you shout 'Stop' again, I'll have your head.
742
00:49:37,184 --> 00:49:38,643
You are joking?
743
00:49:40,270 --> 00:49:41,646
He's not joking.
744
00:49:41,730 --> 00:49:44,065
If you shout 'Stop' again,
you'll lose your head.
745
00:49:44,608 --> 00:49:45,817
Go on then.
746
00:49:58,622 --> 00:50:01,291
Great! Any more tricks up your sleeve?
747
00:50:05,670 --> 00:50:07,047
Go to hell.
748
00:50:07,130 --> 00:50:08,548
"Go to hell."
749
00:50:10,717 --> 00:50:11,593
Go to hell again!
750
00:50:11,676 --> 00:50:13,094
"Go to hell again!"
751
00:50:18,558 --> 00:50:20,644
He hit me.
752
00:50:21,561 --> 00:50:23,980
He hit me!
753
00:50:28,151 --> 00:50:29,444
Hurry! Quick!
748851
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
