Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

(male #1) 'You may now kiss the bride.'

[music continues]

[indistinct chatter]

(female #1) 'Play, he's so fine.'

(female #2) 'Ooh, he looks good.'

(female #3) Can I change his mind?

[instrumental music]

Ooh, I need you.

Come back here.

I love you.

[music continues]

[moaning]

(female #4) 'Don't do it!'

[alarm ringing]

[panting]

Yo.

Yo, this wedding got me buggin'.

[thuds]

[grunts]

Oh, yai.

- Hey. - 'Hey.'

Hey, how about a nice, big, juicy good morning kiss?

Not with that good morning breath.

Ha.

Well.

Look, just one kiss.

Come on. That's all I want. Just one kiss. Come on.

- Okay. - 'Come on back.'

Since you're so sweet, you can have just a little--

Yah!

[giggling]

Hi-yah!

What are you doing?

- What am I doing? - What are you doing?

Sergeant Sausage is present

and ready for duty, okay?

Prepare for insertion.

[laughing]

Wait. At ease.

Sergeant Sausage, Veda's a vegetarian.

Look, just calm down and close your eyes, alright?

It ain't gonna take but a minute while I'm up in it.

So, I'm marrying the minute man now, huh?

Sure. You knew that going in. You knew that.

- Kid, stop. - What?

(Veda) The wedding is days away.

I know. And my nuts are as blue as these sheets.

- Oh. - Come on, hit a nigger off.

Oh, I'll hit you, alright.

Hi-yah!

[phone ringing]

[Shireen on answering machine] 'Hi, this is Shireen from "The Good Girls"'

'Leave me a message..'

Come on, baby, let it run.

Can't be anybody important. I'm already here.

Oh, uh-uh. I gotta get it. It might be about a job.

(Stinky on phone) 'Yo, hey, hey, hey, wake up, Play.'

- Shit. - Hey, girl, I know he's there.

I don't know why your fine ass

is wasting your time with him anyway.

You need to be chillin' with me.

Because, girl, you know, I'll lick you up and down

like a ice cream cone on a hot summer's day.

Damn, you are fine, girl.

It's your friend that's not potty-trained.

It's my cousin, baby.

And someone's gotta look out for him.

Or just look out.

Boy, you sure look good this mornin'.

You're missing something, though.

Check this out.

Aw, yeah.

Now..

...talk to me.

What's up for breakfast?

Talk to me.

Talk to him. Let's give to him.

I'll tell you, you know, based on the color scheme

I think this looks better on you.

(Stinky) 'Listen, man, we gotta get ready to pick up'

'Kid's little dread-head cousins from the airport'

and then we gotta plan the bachelor party.

And then, we need to talk about my 50, 50, 50 fractions

of Kid and Play's productions that you guys owe me

for my personal services, man.

Stinky, if you go to school like your mother wants you to

you'd understand the business more.

The percentages instead of the fractions.

And right now..

...I'm trying to close a very important business deal.

I'm gonna have to get with you later, Stinky.

(Kid) 'I'm not asking for much, okay?'

'Why don't you just hook me up some of that French toast'

'that you be makin', alright? French toast'

where you have it stacked up

and just-just laying on the side, the strawberries..

And it just hang chillin'.

(Veda) 'I've never made any French toast.'

You have me confused with Sydney again.

Damn!

Oh, ha-ha!

Check it out. You know what happened?

I'mma tell you what happened. I was trippin'.

I made a mistake.

See, what had happened was

that was Play, okay?

And he had

uh, gone to France

right, with his girl

and at one point they made a toast.

So it was a French toast.

Don't even try it, Kid.

People do not toast with malt liquor

and that is all I have ever seen Play drink.

You're busted.

What's up with you?

When we started goin' out

you promised me we could make a demo.

A demo? Come on, baby.

I can do better than that.

I'm talkin' about hooking you up with one of the largest

promoters that ever lived.

Brother by the name of Showboat.

I'm gettin' with him this mornin'.

- Yeah, right. - That's right.

And, um..

...I hope when we give you that call..

...that surprise call, that you're ready.

- Play. - Yep.

- 'Play.' - What?

Oh.

I sure hope Kid's cousins have bus fare.

Oh, Janelle is throwing me a little party Friday night.

'Nothing big. Just a few of the girls.'

Perhaps some wine.

A male stripper.

Well, have a good time, alright, you know.

Let me know what went down with that, alright?

(Veda) 'Okey-dokey.'

- Yoo-hoo. - Yes, darling?

Did you say male dancer?

No. I said "Stripper."

Uh? Oh, oh, my bad. Stripper?

Janelle got some guy named Night Heat.

- Night Heat? - Night Heat.

She thought the girls would get a kick out of it.

- Can I kick Janelle? - No, you can't kick Janelle.

In the organ of my choice, can I kick her, repeatedly?

No, you can't because she will kick you back.

And I can't have you two kicking each other, you know.

See you later.

Johnny Booze, what's up? Yeah, it's Playtime.

Yo, we gotta make this brief, man

'cause I'm-I'm calling from the car.

Yeah, my boy, his bachelor party.

That's right. Of course, I got the dough.

Yo, just get a pen out, man.

Friday night, at the Densmore Hotel.

That's right. Now, who you got?

Angina Williams?

Angina? Angina Williams!

Yo, ain't that the girl that does the disappearing act

with the beer bottles?

Bet. Perfect for Kid.

Yo, good lookin' out, man. Don't let me down, man.

Alright cool. Peace out, black.

Yo, Angina Williams, man. Tell me somethin'.

How did your foul ass pull some moves like that, man?

I keep trying to tell you and Kid, man.

It's the American way.

[airplane droning]

(Marcus) 'Excuse me, sir.'

Yes, can I help you?

Sir, we just flew in from Detroit

to perform in front of some senior citizens

and all our luggage is gone.

Our show clothes.

My CD player.

George.

George? Who's George?

You know. George.

- His teddy bear. - Oh, your teddy bear.

Gee, I'm so sorry, but I know how it feels.

My Slinky died two years ago.

I still wake up crying.

'This is an insurance form.'

'You know how to fill it out, don't you?'

You write down "Socks, $50,000."

And you were carrying a car in your suitcase.

May God bless you.

Oh, and God bless you, too.

Sorry about the eye.

Did you lose that in luggage also?

(kid #1) Aye, yo, yo, yo, slow down. Pull over here.

Yo, what for?

(kid #2) Man, just pull over.

We gotta get our luggage, fool.

Yo, I thought they lost your luggage.

Nah, stupid. You really think we dumb enough to lose our luggage?

We were just trying to make some more little vacation money.

You know, to bring some girls to Hawaii.

Yo, do you know what you three punks just did

is against the law, man?

You could end up in juvie hall.

And that's the first stop on the way to the big house.

You know what they do to little boys in the big house?

- Make little girls out of 'em. - That's right.

So when we get there, we'll say hello

to all your low-life friends.

So, take us to Capital Records, MCA records

Motown and Virgin Records

to let everybody know that Immature is in the house.

The only house you're gonna be in

is in the house you're gonna be in for all this summer

when you're on punishment, man.

You ain't gonna be cuttin' up like you did last summer

you understand me?

[upbeat music]

Yo, watch the finish.

Watch the finish.

Yo, yo, yo, yo.

The wild bunch is here.

[indistinct chatter]

Yo, ho-ho, what's up fellas?

- What's going on? - What's up, man?

[indistinct chatter]

Hello, Aunt Lucy. What's up, Veda?

- Aunt Lucy. - Huh?

These are your brother, Petey's grandchildren.

If you say so.

Honey, your pants are too big

but Aunt Lucy gonna take care of that.

Play and Stinky, I brought some lunch for you and the boys.

It's in there on the kitchen table.

- Oh, word. - Oh, word.

That's what I'm talking about and I hope everybody ate

'cause I ain't saving a damn thing.

Fellas, I want you to meet my fiance, Veda.

Hi guys. Oh, you're so cute.

Look at your little dreads.

I don't know which one of you is the cutest.

You pretty cute yourself, too.

Damn, Kid, I didn't know you had it going on like this.

'She is fine.'

Hey, but, Kid, what happened to that big booty girl?

You know, the one you went to college with.

Ooh, uh, look at the time.

You know, we have a meeting today that we're late for.

We have a meeting, so we have to go.

And we're late. Uh, Play.

Uh, Stinky. Play.

You know, the big booty girl.

I think her name was Sydney.

Play, Stinky, look, we got a meeting.

Come on, let's roll.

Well, what's with all these worms

in your head, boy?

I hope you left some food for the little ones.

Of course, we did, Aunt Lucy. Of course, we did.

Now, well, of course, I did.

Now, Veda said you could have something to eat.

She didn't say go and eat up all that Chinese food.

It was fried chicken, Aunt Lucy.

Hush your mouth.

Chinese people don't eat fried chicken.

What?

Yo, Kid, I'm telling you right now, man

we're gonna sell Sex As A Weapon to Showboat.

Wait a minute, we haven't even signed 'em yet.

I thought we were having this meeting to find out

if he was even interested in them.

Come on, Kid, you know, I got the skills, man.

We're gonna get the girls to sign.

We gonna sell them to Showboat, man.

It's the American way. Selling what you don't own, man.

- I do it all the time. - 'Look.'

This could backfire, man.

This could backfire big time.

Play, don't you know what you're doing is against the law?

Keep it up, and you'll end up in the joint

in the cell next to ours.

- Yeah. - Just once.

Come on, just once, man.

- Let me just hit him once. - No.

Whoo!

[instrumental music]

Okay, have a seat, guys. Have a seat.

Look, now, we're here on business, alright?

I want you guys to act like you got some home training, okay?

Man, we know how to act in public.

Alright, I don't wanna have to hurt you.

[snooker ball striking]

(Showboat) 'No, I-I told you, I'm not hearing that rumor.'

Forget about it, look, I'll come over there and slap your mouth.

You better get my money. I'm not playing, boy.

Get my money. Get it now.

(Play) 'Showboat, what's up?'

Hey, hey, hey, fellas. Fellas.

Let's make some money. Talk to me quick.

Whoo!

- Uh, Showboat-- - Hey, yo.

Move that shit off the table.

Thanks, slice. Go ahead.

Uh, Showboat

we really wanna work with you.

Now we have what we believe to be

a very solid business proposition

that'll prove to be lucrative for all parties involved.

Well, I like it so far.

You know, that girl group Sex As A Weapon, right?

Oh, yeah, them girls are on, slice.

Well, it just so happens we signed them

into an exclusive contract yesterday, man.

And, um, we wanna go on tour.

And we wanna do business with you.

You know, I got a 12 city tour of the Chitlin Circuit.

Uh, we about to start right now.

And you know, a group like Sex As A Weapon, whoo

could set that baby on fire.

Give me three G's, my brother, and we got a deal.

Wait a minute. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Why do I need to go through you?

I'm the man.

Shit, Play, you ain't nothing but a sucker MC.

And Kid, your jelly ain't shit.

Stinky, well, I think the name speaks for itself.

Yo, man, my name ain't Stinky, man, it's James.

- 'No need to get all excited.' - 'Uh, see.'

You don't seem to understand, Sex As A Weapon

ain't doing jack without our say so.

Uh, uh, uh!

What he means to say, Showboat

is that, uh, they respect our opinions with regard

to their career moves, okay, now--

Yo, Kid, cut all that bullshit out, man.

Yo, you obviously don't know who you dealing with up in here.

How you work this thing?

I know who I'm dealing with, motherfucker

and it better be local.

[phone ringing]

- Hello. - Yeah, this is Play. Uh.

Say hello to the man himself, Showboat.

Showboat, I can't believe it's for real.

Yeah, shit's unbelievable, baby. I know. Go ahead. Go ahead.

(Play) 'Uh, we're sittin' here talkin' about

'a 12 city tour, sweetheart'

and, um, all you gotta do is say "Yes"

and Play will take care of the rest.

[screams]

There it is. Um, you know what?

I'll bring home the condoms.. I'm sorry.

I'll bring home the contracts tonight, baby.

Keep it clean.

Uh, hook them up, Ms. Pain.

Hook me up.

Uh, aren't there a few things that we should discuss

before we, uh, start taking Showboat's money?

- 'What are you talking about?' - Kid, Kid, Kid.

Ain't nothing but a G thing, baby.

We all adults here. Showboat trust us.

He's a businessman. We are businessmens.

Ha, you a silly motherfucker.

Showboat don't trust shit.

No, no, no, my daddy always said

"Don't trust nobody but your mama and then cut the deck."

Fuck that. Make sure you do what you say you gonna do.

You got my money, boy.

'Oh, oh, oh. One more thing.'

Go out, have a good time but look, look, look, look

whatever you do, you talk about my mama

steal my car, take my jewelry

but don't, don't, mess with my money.

Oh, when you do that, you..

[crushing]

[snapping]

Then you messin' with the wrong G.

The wrong G.

Now, um..

...here's the list of those 12 cities we talkin' about.

'Uh, make sure you have those girls'

'sign that contract by tomorrow.'

And until then, heh..

...let's make some money.

It was just really nice this morning, you know.

Kid had his reunion with his little cousins.

And they are three of the cutest little boys

you ever want to see, until one of them asked Kid

what happened to the big booty girl

he used to date in college.

- Oh, no, he didn't. - Oh, yes, he did.

- Was he talking about Sydney? - Don't you say that "S" word.

Oh.

Not with this day I've been having.

Not only that.

Kid kept going on about

how good my French toast is.

But you don't like French toast.

Look, Veda, you're my baby cousin, and I love you.

But if you're having second thoughts about this

'then maybe you oughta keep on thinkin'.

'Now, you're more than welcome to continue living with me.'

- I love having you. - 'No.'

If Kid were not ready he would not have

saved for our condo.

Bought me this ring.

He could have a car.

Janelle, I am wearing the man's car.

He announced our engagement, not me.

He never got this far with Sydney.

Yeah, that's 'cause Sydney has some sense.

[jazz music]

Okay, guys. Guys, guys. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Calm your nerves. Have a seat. Have a seat.

Alright? Just sit down and do whatever Stinky tells you to.

Okay? You sit down too.

Man, I keep telling you I ain't no babysitter

for these kids, man.

I need to be trying to impress them girls, man.

Play, take me with you, man, they look at me

they're gonna sign that contract.

Stinky, do me a favor.

Either wash your ass

or sit the hell down and shut up.

Please.

Shi..

Hi, Kid.

Hi, Kid.

Uh.. I mean, hi, ladies.

You know what, uh, we need to talk

in a better business atmosphere, so, uh

why don't we kick it in the bar with some drinks?

Our treat.

Right this way. Right this way.

Please.

Ooh, this is what I'm talking about.

Getting down to the real nitty-gritty.

Some business. Some ballistics, y'all.

- He's right. - Real business.

Business minds. Big money.

Business. Kid.

- Kid? - Uh.

Oh. I'm-I'm sorry.

You got to excuse my friend, he's zoning out.

This weekend, he's getting married.

And, um, you know, we're planning

a big bachelor party for him on Friday.

You know what?

Why don't y'all come down

and help me change his mind?

Well, anyway, for starters, uh, let's get some drinks.

[speaking in foreign language]

That's French, you know?

(male #2) 'Hi, can I take a drink order?'

Um, I'd like a Slow Screw Against the Wall.

Ooh, and I'll have a Sex on the Beach.

You know what? I can take care of these orders myself.

Beat it, Benson.

Oh, wait, before you go, uh

we'll have two tap waters with ice.

Domestic with a twist.

♪ Aw yeah ♪

♪ Immature's in the house ♪

♪ Ready to tear it up ♪

♪ With the help of the boys and the band ♪

♪ We gonna kick a little somethin' like ♪

♪ Somethin' somethin' somethin' like this ♪

♪ Three small brothers you might call pint sized ♪

♪ Kickin' and we be focused down before your eyes ♪

♪ Don Jerome and my name is Marcus ♪

♪ Step into the stage now you know we're gonna spark this ♪

♪ Microphone 'cause the heat is on ♪

We generated quite a bit of heat with your demo.

Frankly, we're very confident

that we can get you a label deal.

We want you to sign with us.

Yo, cut the bull.

Sign with us, pow, twelve-city tour

that's the way we roll.

Hello.

- Pow. - Pow.

And there it is.

A twelve-city tour for real?

- 'That's right.' - Hold up.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

A twelve-city tour just might be alright

if we go to places like Montreal

'New York, DC, okay?'

That's what I'm talking about.

- Say what? Say huh? - Say what? Say huh?

I like that.

Ah, heh, well

here's the itinerary, heh.

Alright. Now.

Bugtussle, Oklahoma?

Stand Back, Alabama?

Nigger keep running, Mississippi?

- Not even. - Hold up.

Hold up.

See, y'all niggers ain't gonna play us like that.

Y'all know we roll like filet mignon

and y'all tryin' to play us out like some soybean burgers.

Brah, we have better things to do.

- Who's she calling? - 'This is Collette, mm-hm.'

Sex As A Weapon. Yes, we're ready to do business.

You know what, guys, um

I think it's fair to let y'all know that

we been meeting with Coldblood Management and--

Coldblood? He's a crook.

That punk will rob you for all the loot you make.

I'm tellin' you right now.

Straight up and down, on the reals.

(female #5) 'I don't know what y'all talking about.'

He said, that he would get us

a Mustang 5.0.

- What did you say? - 5.0?

- Okay. - Mm-hm.

(Colette) 'Cinco pointo zero.'

Okay, uh, for starters, uh, we could hook you up

with a budget for your wardrobe.

For your wardrobe, for your first tour.

- 'No.' - 'No.'

Coldblood already said he'd give us our

own fashion designer, okay?

That's all you want? We got the best in the west.

We're talking uh, Aunt Lucy's Fashions.

♪ Funky freestylin' that's with 3D ♪

♪ Run home and tell all your friends what we did ♪

♪ Mixing hip-hop with this thing called jazz ♪

♪ If you can't fold you can kiss my ♪

♪ Ask me no questions I tell you no lies ♪

♪ That's how this thing goes kicking it with the lingo ♪

♪ Crispy like a Pringle ♪

He already guaranteed us 4.34 percent

'of the venue gross receipts'

based on generally accepted

industry account practices, so

we anticipated that you could at least give us 4.5 percent.

You know what I'm saying, to fatten the pockets

and give me the isms to put the cash in my hand.

Sound good to me. You?

- Okay. - That might not be a problem.

Wait, wait. Okay. Alright, um, alright.

- If Coldblood's gonna go there. - Right.

(Kid) 'Okay, perhaps we can adjust these figures'

so that we're looking at..

- Shit. - Uh!

Wait, wait, wait a minute. Okay.

Uh, perhaps we can, eh, perhaps we can, um..

Wait, wait, wait we change the figures

to reduce some of our overhead.

Uh, flip it, uh, carry the three

and then we're looking at..

Hell, no.

[sighs]

Wait, wait, wait, alright.

Hold up, hold up a second. Hold up a second.

Alright, how about this?

We give you Play's cut.

- So that we're looking at-- - Nigger, you're buggin'.

Check this out. It's gonna be a G per show.

We'll take care of all the hotel and the travel arrangements.

And that's as fair as it's gonna get. I'm putting my foot down.

Well, ladies, lookie here.

- Lookie here, lookie here. - Lookie here, lookie here.

Looks like Coldblood's deal is a little bit better than this one.

And when y'all become big-time, and can beat that 5.0.

Give us a call.

You know what? It's too bad too.

'Cause I was just about to make me a new friend.

Sorry for you.

Yo, wait a minute, wait a minute, we can work this out.

- Yo, yo, hey, hey, yo. - See you, bye.

- Slow. - See you, bye.

Damn, man. Shit! We almost had 'em, man.

"Aunt Lucy's Fashions?"

♪ We're just here to give a kick in the booty ♪

♪ So feel free to make a contribution ♪

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, you heard the kids.

We available for children's parties

bar mitzvahs, sweet sixteens, weddings, anything.

Just put some money in the hat. It's for the kids.

Come on, man, do something for the kids, huh?

Heal the world. You know what I'm saying?

Heal the world, just for the kids, you know?

Hey, who put a food stamp in the hat?

[siren wailing]

(male #3) 'Hey, yo, what up?'

'This is Ex-Con Caterer'

'where we do chicken right.'

'You know, something like

the warden used to

whether you like it or not.

I remember, one time I was in jail

I didn't eat the food, they locked me in the hole.

Six weeks down there, wondering why.

Nobody came to visit. No phone calls.

No nothing, I'm just down there storming

'cause I didn't eat the damn food.

I ain't got to eat the food the warden give me.

Yo, yo, Butcher, Butcher, nigger, chill out.

We got the pardon. We free.

Chill out.

Hey, who the hell is this?

Oh, how you doing, mama?

'What you want? 200 pounds of chilies'

'for Saturday night.'

'You got it. No problem.'

Hey.

Oh, look, what the fuck we got here.

Three mark-ass NAPAs.

Yo, man, fuck all that.

What's up with my order for Friday night, huh?

It depends on what your bitch ass get.

What the fuck you want, some chilies

some cheese, spam, tuna, some tomatoes?

What the fuck you want?

[door opens]

Hey, look out. Look out, punk.

Come on in, Big Dukey.

- Big Dukey? - Big Dukey.

Yo, man, it's obvious this ain't no damn Benihana's.

You know what I'm saying? Look, man, this is all we want.

Some chicken wings, hot dogs, and a case of 40s. You got that?

First of all, you need to calm the fuck down

and go gargle, funky.

Man, my name is Stinky. Stinky, alright?

Well, Stinky, funky, smell hella bad.

- It's all the same. - Fuck all that.

Nigger, your name is Funky 'cause you come up in here

smelling like butt crack now.

Yo, squash all that, man, all I'm talkin' about

the food better be on, you hear what I'm sayin'?

Oh, look at this nigger, Mr. Baller, Mr. High Roller

Mr. Flashing Fucking Money.

Since you got it like that, punk, pay a nigger now.

You got my food now?

Or maybe do you have my food now?

Fuck all the dumb shit. Let me tell you something.

You don't come in this motherfucker

makin' no goddamn demands.

We will fuck around, throw your punk ass on the grill.

Straight make some barbecued bitch.

No, fuck all that, nigger, bake all three-day punk asses

make three-bitch pie now.

Look, why don't we just give them all the money now, okay?

Yo, forget that, Kid, man.

The original deal was a deposit.

I refused to be intimidated by these three losers.

That's bullshit, man. It's just bullshit.

Especially to like some midget like you, you hairy bastard.

- Kick it, cuz. - Look here, motherfucker.

I'll kick you in your nuts and make your jaw swell.

You think he won't, you think he won't

you punk-ass, niggers, huh?

Look, look, just give them the money.

- No, Kid. - Look, okay.

Just have the food there. Thank you.

- Yo, the food better be on. - Your sister better be on.

- Your mother's on. - Your grandmama's straight on.

(Play) Check this out.

After this tour

you two are gonna be the bomb.

You're gonna blow up.

Trust me.

Trust me.

Now, you're gonna remember to listen

to that tape I gave you, right?

Of course, I listen to anything worth holding onto

and believe me, y'all two definitely got something

I got to get my hands on, word up, you know.

Talent scouting again, huh?

[chuckles] Play, you workaholic.

You know what? I gotta take care of something real quick.

I'll get right back at you. We're gonna get into this.

We're gonna get into this.

Janelle, Janelle, what's up, sweetheart?

Tell me something, Play.

Doesn't it ever bother you?

What?

Misleading women the way you do.

- Misleading women? - Yeah.

Janelle, they are a group.

I am a manager.

In the entertainment business

they work together.

I'm working with them. Come on, now, you know my style.

And helping yourself to some while you're at it, right?

Well, you comin' off like they're supposed to be like

helpless females, or something.

I mean, let's think about it here.

Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps they're enjoying this

just as much as I am?

Have you ever thought about that?

Yeah, I have, and it frightens me.

Look, the sooner we get this started

the sooner I can get outta here.

Now, did you reserve the tuxes for the ushers?

Yes, I reserved the tuxes for the ushers

and I'm gonna pay for them too.

Well, that's the least you could do.

The bride pays for everything else.

And it'll be the last thing she probably pays for.

I mean, right after that ring is on her finger

that's pretty much her carte blanche to do

whatever she pleases while my man's out there

breaking his back 'cause she turns

into the "Give me give me girl."

I knew you was primitive

but I didn't think you was a pure cave man.

Now, I guess it goes down like that with those gold-digging

hoochie-mama, gut bucket skeezas you attract.

But tell me something, baby, what do you really

have to offer? I mean, really?

Well, it just so happens that what I have to offer

might be more than you can handle, Janelle.

And when you are ready to become a full-fledged woman

why don't you give me a call?

Baby, I'm full, I'm fledged

and I'm all woman.

But I need more..

...than a snack.

I need a whole meal.

Janelle, sweetheart.

Woman, I'll have you talking in tongues.

- I gotta go. - I'll bet you do.

You done lost your mind.

And, uh, speaking of tongues..

...like I said..

...you two are gonna be big.

Man, I ain't got no money.

I gotta get the millionaire's spot.

Come on, multiplatinum.

[claps] Oh, multiplatinum, baby.

- I'll be rich. - Oh, you'll be paid today.

- Pay him up. - You pay him up, punk.

Everybody pay me up. Come on. Both of ya'll pay.

Hey, what's up, guys? What's going on?

What's up, Cousin Kid?

- What kind of game is that? - The music biz.

- Yup. - The music biz.

This one's a concert promoter.

Yeah, this beautiful woman right here is..

Hm-mm-mm..

- Is a groupie. - See, Kid, we're ready.

We got the game down.

Now, it's all about getting paid big-time.

- You know real money. - 'Look, look.'

It's not easy, okay?

I've been in the music business for four years now

and it doesn't get any easier.

It's very difficult.

And you have to work really hard.

Don't worry, Kid. We're smart.

We see how to do it wrong by watching you and Play.

Y'all some good teachers.

[door bell ringing]

Hey, boy!

- Uncle Vester. - Kid.

- Aunt Lucy. - Oh.

- Look at that woman there. - Oh, Vester.

- Lord have mercy. - It's so good to see you.

- Come here, woman. - Oh.

I'm over here.

[both laughing]

How you doing? You still crazy as a betsy bug.

And looking good too, woman.

Lookin' like a birthday sandwich. What's up, Kid?

Well, if you're the yellow version of your pappy.

Aunt Lucy..

Mm.

Damn.

- Boy, I miss your father. - 'So do I.'

Damn, I wish he was here.

Me too, Uncle Vester.

Besides, he owe me a $150.

Uncle Vester, do you remember me?

Boy, remember you? Let me tell you.

Last time, boy, I saw you, you was his size

and last time, boy, I saw you

you was his size, and last time I saw you

there was quarter pile of doo-doo in your drawers.

Hey, man, you just got here don't be sweating me like that.

Sweating you? Boy, I ain't began to sweat you.

First thing tomorrow mornin', we're going down

to Elmo's barbershop and cut that Jamaican voodoo stuff

off of your head.

Hey, Kid, you better regulate your uncle

before I bust a cap in his butt.

What you say to me?

What you say to me, boy?

Let me tell you something, boy--

I said Uncle Vester cool like that.

That's what I thought you said.

[laughs] That's what I thought you said.

You right. Aunt Lucy, heh, I bought you something.

You know I can't come without bringing you anything.

- You didn't. - Hey, my favorite auntie.

Yeah. Ha-ha!

You know I did. Look here. This is for you.

Oh, Vester.

Isn't that beautiful?

"If lost, please return

to 1637 Blast Ave. Los Angeles."

Vester.

Sit down.

Okay, look, alright.

I think it's about that time, guys.

Let's go to bed, okay, and we'll play the game tomorrow.

I'll take 'em upstairs, come on. Where's the stairs, honey?

Yeah, the stairs are right where they've always been, Aunt Lucy.

- Okay. - Doggone right.

Ten o'clock supposed to be in the bed any doggone way.

Only my Kool-Aid don't know the flavor.

Ain't my business.

So-so, boy, you're getting married, man.

So tell me about your finance. Is she pretty?

- Oh, my fiance? - Yeah. Yeah. Took my boy..

- 'Ooh, oh, she's very pretty.' - Can she cook?

- Oh, yes, she can cook. - 'Good.'

You, you don't have..

She ain't knocked up, is she?

- No, no. - 'Good. Good.'

Well, you got Uncle Vester's blessings, man.

Uncle Vester's gonna go on upstairs. I'm kind of tired.

(Kid) 'Uncle Vester, before you go'

I-I just wanted to ask you something.

- What you need, son? - Well..

See, my girl and I, we get along fine.

But I'm just having a, a little problem

getting her parents to like me.

Parents? What you want 'em to get to like you for?

Boy, just be yourself.

If people don't like you if you're being yourself..

...fuck 'em.

'Let me tell you something I just got with a girl'

'when I was about your age.'

I tried to please her pappy all the time.

Went out of my way to please her pappy.

I come in one day, I said, "Nice weather we having."

He said, "You can't say that.

You can't say that. It might rain."

I said, "Nice tie you got on."

He said, "You can't say that.

My wife tried to choke me with it."

The point I'm trying to tell you, son, is be yourself.

People don't like that you're being yourself, fuck 'em!

Fuck 'em up against the wall

with handcuffs on

and Krazy Glue on their lips.

That's all you do.

Hmm.

- Words to live by. - 'Live by 'em, son.'

Okay, um, I'm gonna go to the club now, uh, Uncle Vester

and...just go.

(Vester) You-you-you go on and enjoy yourself, boy.

You're about to sell your soul in a couple of days.

Brother, you did a good job.

He's a good kid.

Always been a good kid.

That's why we call him Kid.

Boy just needs some goddamn fun

like Casper, the friendly ghost.

Scared the hell out of me when I came here.

Fistballed it my damned self.

Mm.

Mm!

[rap music]

♪ I pick up the microphone just like a slip of Cincy ♪

♪ Rhythm or soul we came to roll we got it goin' on G ♪

♪ Word to the mama you concur and agree ♪

♪ So come down select with some versatility ♪

♪ Well if the versatility that make you think ♪

♪ I don't know rock ♪

[rapping indistinctly]

[knocking on door]

[indistinct singing]

- What's up, Black? - What's up, Play.

- Party's in the house. - Oh. What's up.

What's up, Black?

What's up, my queen?

Yo, Kid, RAS Posse is working it, man.

♪ Now when I'm on a race I check my finish with a photo ♪

♪ And yo yo when I rock I ring bells ♪

♪ Like Quasimodo the soapster ♪

♪ I warms it up like a toaster doing what I'm 'posed to ♪♪

[indistinct singing]

Now, who needs Sex As A Weapon, man?

I mean, come on, think about it, we got enough dope groups.

- Hey, Kid. - Hello.

[indistinct singing]

I hear you're getting married.

- Too bad. - Oh, no, no.

He's not married yet. He hasn't jumped the broomstick yet.

She's intense.

Uh-uh, thanks, but no, thanks, Maxine.

- I'm already taken. - Okay.

But if you change your mind..

[indistinct singing]

...call me.

Yo, man, you done crossed over, man.

Any natural man would've waxed that ass, man.

You and this Veda thing, man, all she's gonna do is

ask you to jump and all you gonna go is, "How high?"

Look, don't you get it? I love Veda, okay?

I'm getting married to her.

I'm just trying to go into the situation right, thank you.

Yo, Kid, you've changed, man.

I just hope after you get married we can still..

- What? - We..

Yo, man, where's the fruit basket?

Right there, King.

Oh, yeah. I fucked her.

[all laughing]

(male #4) 'Oh, man, you know you ain't seen no part of that ass.'

Le-le-le.. Le-le-let me check it out. Let me check it out.

[sniffs]

No ass!

[all laughing]

[knocking on door]

Come in.

Yo. You guys were dope, man.

Yo, ya'll blew up. You.. Did you see that crowd?

- We didn't see shit. - Mm-hm.

Oh, uh, sorry.

Well, I-I guess you heard them, at least.

Yo, we got a big show next week, man.

What's up? You all ready?

Yo, man, that kid Coldblood jerked us again, man.

Yo, I'm telling we should've got the dough up front.

Now we're short.

Well, somebody better pay us some money up in here

or there's gonna be some ass whoopin'.

Yeah, and I got your back, MC Cataract.

Wait-wait a minute. Wait a minute. Look, look.

We ain't even gotta go there, man.

Just-just put the gun down. Calm down.

Yeah. Y'all need to kill that noise, man.

You know, we gonna tighten you up with a little somethin'.

'Little somethin', man.'

- Mm-hm. - 'Heh heh.'

Oh. Oh, no, no, no. This is the wrong President!

[gun cocking]

- Give it back. - Come on, man.

Here, you guys. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Heh. Ben Franklin. Ha-ha.

- I'm with it. - Yeah.

It's not wise to mess with three brothers with big sticks.

[all laughing]

Now, let's go find some of those honeys.

Yeah, man, oh, yeah, we're gonna get..

- This way, baby. This way. - Oh, yeah.

Over there. 119th and Avalon.

- Oh, let's go. - That's where they are.

- Where the girls? - Hey, take this. Take this.

- Oh, I got it. I got it. - Oh, yeah.

- 'Buckle up..' - Yo, come on. Let's go.

No, no, no, I ain't going nowhere

till these brothers are off the streets, man.

Word up.

Oh-ho, let's go get those honeys.

Woo-hoo-hoo. Yeah.

[indistinct singing on radio]

Yo, Play, man, I've been thinking.

We've been at this music thing for a while now, man

we still ain't got two nickels to rub together.

Veda's parents have been stressin' me, man

stressin' me about getting a real--

Oh, don't say that, man.

Don't say the J word. Don't say the J word, man.

I'mma say it. Job, motherfucker, job.

And maybe they're right, I mean, it's not like

I can just think about myself anymore.

I'mma have a wife soon.

- She got a job too, don't she? - Nigger.

Come on, man, we gotta put this back in perspective, man.

I mean, you know, come on, think about it.

Look out there. What do you see?

The wino sleepin' in his own vomit?

No, no, no. Not that, man. I mean, look out there, man.

We in the land of LA, man, Hollywood, man

where dreams come true.

'They just don't come true like that, man.'

'There's hard work and perseverance, man.'

Am I just going crazy? Didn't we have a dream?

- 'Remember?' - Yeah, I remember.

But look, I'm gettin' older now.

Would you believe I've even thought about cuttin' my hair?

Oh, this is more serious than I thought.

It gets worse, the other day I went out

shopping to buy some gear.

I almost bought a...a tie!

Wait a minute, wait a minute, you're making me nauseous now.

I mean, yo, man, I know we've been through a lot.

'I don't always come through, but this one'

I feel real good about, man.

Just give me a little time on this one, man.

Yo, you know what? I'll make a deal with you.

'Straight up and down.'

'If I don't come through with "Sex As A Weapon"'

I'll go get a haircut with you and I'll get matching ties.

- Deal? - You serious?

[sighs]

[birds chirping]

- Isn't this food wonderful? - It sure is, Aunt Lucy.

It's fit for a king. Come here, King!

[imitates dog barking] Come here, boy.

[laughing]

Oh, I thought King was dead.

Ugh. My pancakes is black.

- Ugh, so is my eggs. - Yeah.

It's Cajun style.

If this is Cajun, I'm Caucasian.

The boys are right, this food is awful.

Cajun is an acquired taste.

That's why didn't nobody order it.

- So what about breakfast? - Yeah, I'm hungry.

- 'Oh, yeah.' - Look.

There. Breakfast. It's the best I can do.

Look, if I don't get out here and get to my meeting

I'm not gonna get paid.

Yeah. I gotta get out of here too. I got me a date.

You do? And who's the lucky lady?

The chef down at Rollo's Chicken 'n' Grits House.

I'm hungrier than a horse. I'm getting the hell out of here.

So, Kid, you're gonna let us bust out

our little rap routine at your bachelor party?

Yeah, Kid. You know that's why we're here.

See, we look at it, is the party gonna be

filled with big-booty girls, honeys, tenders, you know?

(Kid) 'Hello? Hello? Look.'

Fellas, there are not gonna be any honeys at the party.

'Just the fellas. Just the fellas.'

So, get it out of your head, just calm down, relax

and get ready for the wedding. Okay?

See, I told you Kid and Play are played out, man.

Just like this food. We up out of here, man.

Now, now, wait a minute. Sit down. Wait.

Boys, boys, come back here and eat this food.

- Don't you wanna grow tall? - Get them, Aunt Lucy.

Hit them in the throat with the stick.

Bust their head! I hate 'em. You know, Aunt Lucy, man.

She still thinks Sammy Davis is sleeping in the guest room.

'You know, she's a couple of salads away from a picnic.'

Look, I'm proud of you, boy.

I'm proud of what you did for your youngsters over there.

'You just up there and you told them kids, man'

there wasn't gonna be any women at that bachelor party.

I'm proud of you, but I know there's gonna be

a few women at that bachelor party.

Look, Veda is the only woman for me.

I'm trying to go into this marriage right.

No women.

Boy, nobody is talkin' about no women for you!

I'm talkin' about some women for me. What's wrong with you?

- Look, I'm sorry. Look, uncle-- - 'I'm sorry for you.'

- Uncle Vester, I gotta go. - Go on.

Boy, you had to go on and get a white woman

now you're gonna wreck this man.

The boy ain't worth two day flask mash.

You know, Uncle Kid is dissin' us, man.

Who you're telling? He won't even listen to our demo.

Yeah, he won't even let us go to the bachelor party.

Eh, yo, yo, Jerome. Peep this out, dude.

Hey, we definitely gotta get with them.

From here on in, we're doing our own thing.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, baby, you dropped something.

- What? - Your conversation.

So let's pick it up right here.

Pfft, give me a break.

Hey, why y'all dressed like twins?

We go to a private school, fetus face.

Oh, we go to Detroit Public School.

Now how did I know that?

Listen, we're stayin' at that house over across the street.

1637, Blast Ave.

Friday night we got the crib to ourselves. Heh.

And we were just thinkin' about havin' a little party, you know?

- Yeah. - A serious throw down.

Detroit style.

Hey, bring your messed butt over here

before I have to kill somebody.

Every summer I have to kill somebody.

I'm tired of killing folks every summertime.

[engine revving]

Excuse me.

I got a certified letter here for Mr. Marques James.

Oh, that's me.

- Just sign right there. - Oh, yeah, lost luggage check.

We're gonna party now! Whoo!

'We're havin' a party Friday night.'

Why don't you come. And, oh, yeah, wear that uniform.

Yeah, 'cause I like girls with jobs and benefits, hmm.

Now, why would I wanna come to a party

given by some little boys?

So I can show you how deep love can get.

And, oh, yeah, it can get deep.

[chuckling] Aren't you all cute?

[laughing]

(kid #3) 'Where you going, cutie? Come back over here.'

- You want some candy? - Let's go, yeah?

Hey.

Open it up, man.

(Vester) 'Close that goddamn door!'

'Air conditioning the whole neighborhood!'

Open it up.

- Oh, God. - Oh, my God.

Three thousand dollars.

[door bell rings]

- It's probably the mailman. - We'll get it.

[upbeat music]

- What's up, man? - What's up?

Uh, where's Kid and Play?

- They ain't here. - They ain't here?

Where the hell they at?

Look, man, we had a meeting here.

I ain't got time to wait. I gotta pick up money over here.

I gotta pick money up here, man

and I came to pick money right here.

Look here, you tell them when they get here

Johnny Booze stopped by to pick up the money

for the Angina Williams, okay?

'That's the stripper for the bachelor party.'

Oh, yeah.

They told me that you'll be stopping by

and to pay you

if you can pop this check.

Po.. Let me see that. Let me see that.

- Money first. - Wait a minute, I got money.

Don't play me like I ain't got money. I handle mine.

Check it out. Check it out. Wait, wait, man. I got more.

I got more right here. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Oh. Wait a minute. Oh.

Okay, alright. Alright, ooh, shit.

Alright. Here we go. Right here.

Sa-same time, bro. I don't know you, man.

Same time. I don't know you. Okay. Same time.

Give me the check.

Now you know the party is gonna be here

instead of the hotel, right?

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Okay.

You tell Play, you tell Play

Angina gonna be here Friday night, alright?

And look, you tell them I need the rest

of my money, man, I owe people.

Couple of my girls got killed in a car wreck, alright.

- 'We know.' - I need the money.

Shut up.

[upbeat music]

[indistinct singing]

Yo, that's the dancer that Janelle hired

for Veda's party. Yo, pull over, man.

I wanna peep this guy.

I can't let any old muscle bound

booty-shakin' chump dance at my baby's party, come on.

Come on, Kid, be for real, man. We got a lot to do, man.

We got three days to the wedding. Three days, man.

We got no time to be worried about

heh, the competition.

You know, Kid, man, dog, I don't mean no harm, my man.

Your shit's over, man. Do you know who Night Heat is?

That's Henry Charles. Think.

I went to high school with him, man.

The boy is large. Took showers with him, man.

His shit is huge. He must be from Africa.

[speaking in foreign language]

- His shit is just huge, man. - Wait a minute, wait a minute.

You were in the shower checking out his jimmy?

- No. - Look, Play.

I think your cousin needs some serious counseling, okay.

There's no question about that.

But seriously, man, sisters do

be sweating that brother, man.

Sweating him something awful, man.

I'm telling you, man, he drives the honeys crazy, man.

Look at that line. Look at all those girls.

And guys in the line too. You know how big it is.

Yo, man, the wedding might be off

once Veda peeps a peek at the pole that brother's packin'.

Shit, try and say that three times.

Janelle, you're my maid of honor, right?

Mmm-hm.

Then why don't you have your little butt over here

helping me figure out who I'm gonna sit next to who?

Whoa, Veda.

This says that 50 percent

of all marriages end in divorce.

Divorce.

'And after only three years of marriage'

'couples have sex once a week.'

Once a week.

And when they do, they don't even like it.

- Did you know, Janelle.. - 'What?'

That ever since Kid and I announced our engagement

well, you've changed.

- 'I've changed?' - You've changed.

- I've changed, Veda? - 'You've changed.'

- I've changed? - 'Yes.'

You have really been dogging Kid out lately.

- 'Cause he is a dog. - He is not a dog.

He is a man. The man that I'm going to marry.

- Thank you. - Well, I know Play.

And Play is one hundred percent all dog.

Atomic dog. Mighty dog.

Underdog. Deputy Dog.

Snoop Dogg. And dog dog.

And everybody knows that

Kid and Play are like this.

Dogs of a feather.

Veda, girl

you look like you just saw a ghost.

I did. It's Sydney.

- Hi, Veda. - Hi, Sydney.

I was in the neighborhood and I decided to stop in

and browse and, um

tsk, really congratulate you

on your wedding.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Um, this is my cousin and business partner, Janelle.

- Hi, nice to meet you. - 'Same here.'

You guys have a lot nice things in here.

(Janelle) 'Thank you.'

I guess I've to buy something then, huh?

You know what? Those earrings we got in last week.

Perfect.

They have Sydney written all over them.

Well, let's see these Sydney earrings.

Good.

- That's a bad suit. - Thank you.

Oh, those are cute. I like those.

Could you, uh, put those in a box for me, please?

Sure will.

Veda, you know, I'm really glad

Kid found someone to love.

He had a really hard time after we broke up.

It seems like his management company is doing really well

and you have a beautiful shop here.

I'm glad you guys are happy. You know, I really am.

Could you give him my best, please?

I sure will. And, um..

I wish you all the best in DC

and-and good luck and success

and all that old stuff.

And wear these in good health.

I will. I'll do that.

- Take that with you. - Okay.

You take care of yourself. Alright?

- Thanks, Sydney. - Bye-bye.

Wow, I was wrong about her.

- She really was nice. - Yeah.

And her booty wasn't that big.

[humming]

It's cute.

Who are you?

It's me, Aunt Lucy, Veda.

You just let me in five minutes ago.

Today?

Yeah, I'm taking some of Kid's stuff

over to our condo.

It's Veda. Kid's fiancee.

Oh. Well, nobody tells me anything.

Oh.

Damn, this is heavy.

Stinky. Stinky. Stinky.

- Come on, help us out. - I was playing.

- Let me.. - Here, take this.

I can't believe your cousin is that lazy, Play.

I ain't lazy, man. Open the door. This stuff is heavy.

(Play) 'I find it hard to believe he's even my cousin.'

(Stinky) You won't. Come on.

Oh, he's your cousin, alright.

[screams]

Okay. I can deal with this. This I can deal with.

You know since the word got out

that I'm gettin' married you wouldn't believe

the kind of play I'm gettin' from the ladies.

'I mean, women that wouldn't even talk to me before.'

'I don't understand it.'

(Play) 'Come on, Kid, at least act like you know, man.'

'Women, that's just how they're live it.'

(Stinky) 'Word, man. Play is right, man. Women are just like cats,

They're finicky. When they want you is when they want you.

When you got a girl, that's when they want you.

Oh, Stinky, what the hell are you talkin' about?

Yeah, Stinky, since when did you become an expert on-on women?

All you date are fat girls.

See, see, that's where you're wrong, man.

I don't date just fat girls, man.

I date skinny girls on the verge of being fat

fat girls on the verge of being obese.

Matter of fact, I'm datin' your sister. What's she, 380?

I'm taking her to the slaughterhouse to eat tonight.

- That was unnecessary. - Okay, it was, I admit.

But I gotta crush our guy's ego, man

'cause y'all think you're all that, especially you.

You think you some kind of

uh, Dark Gable or something, man.

- Well, suppose I am. - Well, suppose you ain't.

'Cause you know I'll pick up your roster, man

and I'm dating one of your girls tonight.

You recognize 555-1237?

Give me my beeper, fool.

Yo, Kid, what was up with you and Maxine last night, man?

She was like all up in your grill, man.

That girl is the bomb.

(Kid) Yo, you said that right.

'That girl has the fattest rump shake. I can't front.'

(Play) 'Yo, man, if I was you, I would've waxed that ass, man.'

'I mean, you got a couple of days.'

'And I was gonna save it as a surprise.'

'But through reliable sources, through the grapevine'

Sydney's back in town.

And I know you wanna wax that butt

one more time.

One more time. Just tear it up, man.

Just tear it up, man.

What are you, my retarded echo? Let's go.

(Stinky) 'Hey, yo, Kid, man, if you need my crib for anything'

to get away from Veda or to get hold of Sydney

'hey, man, just call me, it's yours.'

Look, guys, for the last time

Sydney is yesterday's news.

I'm committed to Veda. Okay? Let's go.

Man, you going out, next thing you know you'll be watchin'

Oprah butt naked eating bon-bons with Veda.

[sighs]

[car honking]

Ooh, I know you gonna look good

'cause you know you got it going on.

Just too bad you're gettin' married.

- I told you. - Hmm.

Now let's get this started.

[chuckles]

I see you still shop at the little boy's shop.

Don't you?

That's right. You laugh now

that I got a body of a little boy, right?

But you know what, I got the power of ten men.

- You know what I'm saying. - 'Tell 'em, cuz.'

Thank you. With them two big donuts you got right there

you can feed a starving child in Somalia for a whole month.

Can I have one?

Please. Your mouth don't open that big.

Besides, little man

I'd use you like dental floss

and then I would throw you away.

Ooh. That's alright.

But you know nine out of ten dentists recommend me.

So what's up? Let me clean them teeth.

Please. Let me measure a real man.

Hey, check it out, Kid's bachelor party

it's Friday night at the Densmore Hotel.

How about you come on down..

...and bring your two friends with you?

I'll put them on the guest list.

Hey, don't go there.

Hey, Ester, just how much are we paying for these tuxes?

Hey-hey-hey-hey, we ain't gotta go there either, man.

I got this covered.

[upbeat music]

Ho-ho-ho, motherfucker

the Showboat is back in town.

[barking]

Shit.

Hey-hey, you can't bring them animals in here.

Do you have a leash for her?

I got a funny feelin'.

A real funny feelin' that y'all

took my money, the Boat money

and used it for his bachelor party.

- Check this out. - 'Let me tell you somethin'.'

'If I don't get that contract right now'

ol' Cujo here is gonna give you three new assholes.

(Play) Uh, Showboat, come on, man.

We're supposed to be boys, man.

I mean, I'mma-I'mma do good by the contract.

You know that. Hey, man.

Two days. Trust me.

I told you, the Boat don't trust shit!

Eat 'em, Cujo. Get 'em!

(Ester) Hey, hey! Not in here! Hey!

[dog barking]

[all yelling]

(Showboat) Get there! Get 'em!

Fuck! Bite that ass! Bite that ass!

Cujo! Cujo!

[barking]

- Through the door. Come on! - No, no, no, no, no!

- This way! This way! This way! - Come on.

[dog barking]

[growling]

(Showboat) 'You can run, but you can't hide.'

We gonna get you later. You'll see, we'll get you.

Hello? No, Marques is at the playground.

Alright. Call back later, Tracy.

[phone ringing]

Kid's Funeral Home, you stab 'em, we grab 'em.

Uh, no, Marques isn't here, Gina.

A party?

No, they're not havin' no party.

Can I ask how old you are?

[doorbell rings]

You sound a little old to be callin' him.

Alright, just call back later, okay? Alright.

- Hi! - 'Is everybody ready?'

I've got the engine running, my mother has food on the table

and we don't wanna keep my mother waiting.

What a pretty girl.

I should introduce you to my boy Kid.

Kid, you ought to marry this girl.

She's much better for you than that fiancee

you brought here yesterday.

I mean, that girl was way too tall for you.

You're right, Aunt Lucy. I am a better choice.

Oh, yeah, much better than the girl

that wanted Night Heat at her party.

- Tsk. Oh, really? - Oh, yeah. You know the one.

The one that thought I was still hung up

on the big booty girl, Sydney.

[chuckles] I'll bet you

she didn't even make you French toast.

Come on, Aunt Lucy, let's wait in the car.

Would you hurry up, please? Where's Uncle Vester?

(Uncle Vester) 'Hey, hey, look.'

Hey, woman!

Ooh, Lord, have mercy.

I wanna put you on a plate with some biscuits and gravy

and suck it right up.

Aunt Lucy, wait. That's not my car!

- Mmm. - You guys come in here.

Where you guys been? What took so long?

We just had to go for our little daily walk, you know.

Yeah, you gotta get that exercise.

Exercise yourself on in that kitchen.

Get those dishes y'all left for Play this morning.

You got no dog on this one.

Heh. So-so how do you feel, boy?

[sighs] Uncle Vester, I'm-I'm still a little nervous.

This is such a big night, I just don't wanna

do anything that-that I'll regret.

Oh, son, we had a talk about that the other night.

What did I tell you? Let that go. Be yourself.

We're going over there. We're gonna be ourselves.

We'll show you're educated.

Say, Diddy hellos, how to have good time tonight.

You gotta believe that. Let it go.

- Okay. Alright. - Alright.

You're not packing, are you?

Uh, you know I'm-I'm-I'm blessed.

I'm hung low. Stay out of my personal business.

- Who you with? - Uncle Vester.

Who you with?

[telephone ringing]

I'll get it.

- Hello? - Hey, yo, what up?

Can I speak to either Kid or Play?

'No, they ain't here.'

This is Butcher from the catering company.

Is the party still on?

Yeah, the party is still going on.

Will you tell Kid or Play that, um

I ain't servin' nobody until I get the rest of my money.

'I guarantee you your money.'

'But you gotta bring the food here.'

That's 1637 Blast Ave.

Oh, you want me to bring the food there?

That's right. If you wanna get paid.

Okay. Bye.

Yeah, right.

Veda told me you were down-home folk.

So I thought we'd have a little soul food dinner.

Something I'd know you people would like.

I don't care what you serve, as long as they ain't Cajun.

The food looks great, mom.

Oh, thank you, doll. Have no plate?

Aunt Lucy, don't worry about him not having no plate.

I got plenty of food for him.

[chuckles]

Uh, Christopher.

I suppose you haven't made it big

in the music business yet.

Oh-oh, uh, well, dad

uh, my partner and I--

How do you expect to support a wife?

And a baby, you know she pregnant.

Pregnant? Lord have mercy. See I knew it.

I knew I've been dreaming about fish.

Fish? Fish, I sure hope it's catfish.

No, mother. I am not pregnant. Huh.

Young man, I was asking you a question.

Okay, uh, well, dad, uh, my partner and I

'we're involved in some very promising ventures.'

'Uh, we have an up and coming group name'

R.A.S. Posse, that we signed to Arrest Records.

Now when they release them--

Release, R.A.S. Posse.

Wh-wh-what, what are they, in jail?

Ugh, when they release their album, mother.

And how do you expect to survive

until this R.A.S. Puss..

Posse makes it big?

In my day, we used to have a sayin'

"No romance..

...without finance."

Now hold on there, freckles.

You gotta have a little bit more faith

in these young kids today.

Times are different when you and I

was out here doing our thing.

Now hand me about four or five of those biscuits.

I swear, I'm hungry.

Oh, Vester.

What is your line of business?

Unemployment line.

I'm a painter. I'm an artist.

Oh, really? From what school?

Jacob Lord's? Beardon?

Uh, kitchen walls and sinks, and shit like that.

Oh, my God, crayons and finger paints.

Oh, wait a minute, mom. You, you-you're being unfair.

You and daddy didn't have everything

when you first started out.

Yeah, but we worked hard to..

...to get where we are today.

I bet you had to whore like rabbits

just to make ends meet.

I beg your pardon!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

I knew, I knew you. Damn it to hell.

I knew your face was familiar to me.

Man, back in the day

your wife just sucked the meanest!

Well, I know you know. You're a lucky man.

You scum sucking, son of a bitch!

That's my whore you ta..

Uh, um, my wife you talking about.

Kid, are you just gonna let them talk to my parents like this?

Oh, I forgot you got other things on your mind.

Like, getting with Sydney one more time.

Wh-who said I was getting with Sydney?

I heard you, Play and Stinky talking this morning.

Oh, I don't believe you.

(Veda) 'I don't believe that Play is at that window.'

Go see what he wants, please.

(Lucy) You don't talk to my nephew like that.

You don't talk to my daughter like this.

(Lucy) 'What do you mean, don't talk..'

Come on, man, what're you doing here?

Yo, man, Showboat is bugging, he tried to run me

down with the Benzo, man.

He wants the Sex As A Weapon contract, like, yesterday.

God, look, didn't I tell you to get Boat his money?

Didn't I? Y-you always getting me into trouble.

Oh, now it's on me. You wanted a bachelor party.

I'm hooking you up. Ain't I? What am I supposed to do?

Pay w-with my good looks? What's wrong with you?

Look, I didn't want the bachelor party.

You wanted the bachelor party.

Listen, you..

- Listen, you, get back. - 'Get back?'

Step back, Satan. I'll whammy-bammy your ass.

Some salt, sacrilegious woman.

Now I remember. I even remember your name!

- They used to call you Jawbone. - What?

Look, just meet me at the crib later, okay?

I-I get enough to deal with here.

Kid, listen, man, I got problems, man..

(male #5) 'Look here, I wanna let the door hit you'

'where the good lord split..'

Ain't gonna start barking like a dog.

[imitating dog bark]

(male #5) 'Baby, put it on that old hat.'

Look, everybody, could we just please calm down, okay?

This has gotten out of hand, okay?

Let's just calm down, alright?

(male #5) 'I will fuck you up, sucka!'

Sit down, Witch Hazel.

- Who you talking to? - 'Talking to you!'

Look, don't you talk about, don't you talk about..

You.. Your mama witch, you black dusty rusty ass.

Whoa! My mama dead! Now I gotta cut you!

That's the rule! Cut you! Cut you! Cut you!

Come on, come on, come on!

I'm ready for you.

I want all of you

out of my house, now!

- Cut me! Cut me! Cut me! - What? What? What? No!

I expected some shit like this from you riff-raffs.

[indistinct shouting]

[gunshot]

[all screaming]

Goddamn, I bet I get some respect

from you motherfuckers, now!

And I'd love to pop a cap

in your little black ass.

And that crazy old bitch. Aah!

And I'd bust a cap in your ass

'if it weren't for my daughter.'

Now I want all of you

out of my goddamn house!

Out! Out! Damn spot!

'All of you motherfuckers.'

Had a nice time. Th-that ain't look so good.

Punk, motherfucker.

You better get the fuck on

out of my house, nigger!

Out! Out! Goddammit!

All of you, out!

[crickets chirping]

Was that a crazy dinner or what?

[chuckles] That was crazy.

Do you think they're ever gonna get along?

[sighs] Well, I guess

if the Crips and Bloods can have a truce.

I guess they can too.

Anyway, goodnight, Mrs. Kid.

Goodnight, Mr. Veda.

Mr. Ve..

What'd I tell you about watching all that Oprah?

- Huh? - I love you.

Egh!

[laughing]

[engine starting]

[upbeat music]

[tires screech]

[growling]

[barking]

Aw! Oh!

[screams]

Oh!

[panting]

Oh.

[Kid grunts]

Hey, fellas, fellas.

Welcome back.

You know, I just had a talk

with the Sex As A Weapon

and they claim they never signed any management contract

with Kid 'n Play management.

So, I'm wondering why do I need y'all?

Uh, I can explain, Showboat.

- But I don't wanna hear it. - Yo, but--

I don't wanna hear it!

Now you two clowns better get my contract

signed by tomorrow.

And, uh, one little thing before you leave.

I'd like you to check out one of these

'T.J. hors d'oeuvres.'

- 'What?' - 'Oh.'

'That's a toe-jam cracker.'

Yeah, I like to call it the chronic, ha.

(Play) Come on, Boat. Come on, man.

We've known each other too long for this, man.

No! No!

[Play screaming] 'No!'

♪ Here we go here we go ♪

♪ As the tune starts to bloom ♪

♪ With a phat phat phat cho-re-eus ♪♪

Oh!

- You guys are cleaning up? - Yeah.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Well, Kid

we just wanted to show our appreciation.

You've been so good to us.

Hey, look, uh, look

here's some money for a pizza.

You still have the video movies, right?

'Oh, yeah.'

Uh, I got some running around to do

then I'm gonna go straight to the hotel

for the bachelor party.

So, I'll see you guys in the morning.

Oh, uh, there's a slight chance

my body might be dumped in the river.

So, if I don't see you in the morning, it's been real.

What do you mean, Kid?

[car horn honking]

Uh..

Look, don't worry about it. It's my problem.

Look, just have a good time

and take care of Aunt Lucy, okay?

- Alright. - See you later.

[door closes]

Hey, ya'll, I think Uncle Kid is in big trouble.

Yes, that punk Showboat.

♪ 1-2-3 if this is O.G ♪

♪ The freaks would ya move ya boo-ty-yys ♪

Ah, shit.

Yo, yo, what's up, punk? Where the rest of my money?

Man, I'm telling you, man, we ain't got your money, man.

- Showboat got your cash, man. - Showboat?

Nigger, we used to have him in an apron with his ass

hanging out, running around the cell

cleanin' up like a bitch.

- Really? - Really, nigger.

I know he ain't trying to come between me and my money.

- Where is it at? - I don't know, man..

- Put me down, man. - Yo, punk.

Since you don't know, we taking these Adidas

as partial payment till you find out, you understand?

Oh, no. That my cuz. Ain't no one--

Hey! Hey, hey! Hey!

Is there a problem in here, fellas?

Uh, no, ma'am, we just helpin' my man here with his shoes.

Well, keep it down in here.

Hey, Simple, you dropped somethin', man.

[knocking on door]

Hey, you little twig-head boys in the hood.

Where's Kid?

- Plan B. - Plan B.

- Where they goin'? - Uh, they got to take a pee.

Uh, so you came to listen to our demo?

Hurry up, man, we gotta beat the all-time record.

So, where is he?

Uh, Kid..

Dreads, cap.. Oh, yeah, Kid.

Well, he's havin' a bachelor party

over at the Motel 6.

Which Motel 6? There's 29 of 'em.

Man, I don't know. I'm from Detroit.

He probably went to the one on Washington.

You know, they give complimentary 40 ounces.

You better not be lying, boy.

Come on.

[upbeat music]

Those some nice hooves you got there, girl.

I got one bean for you. One.

- How about a biscuit, baby? - Oh, please.

Hey, hey, hey! Now, that's what I'm talking about.

I'm guilty, guilty as charged.

- I was with him, take me. - Cuff me, baby.

- Cuff me! - Oh, yeah. Once again, it's on.

- Hey, what up? - Shit..

♪ Move your body ♪

- Stinky! - I'm gonna get this, boy.

What's up, baby. How are you doing?

How are you doing?

Just sitting here like you've been just queening.

I don't believe you gonna do this, man.

I don't believe you getting married, man.

- You going out. - "You going out."

Why I gotta be, why I gotta be going out?

Why can't I just have a do-right woman

that I'm trying to do right by?

Look, man, you ain't doing right until tomorrow.

For tonight, your hoes is here.

I'm gonna tear this party up!

And, right now, I'm hungry!

(Sam) 'Right now, I'm hungry!'

Real hungry.

Food, food, food!

Nigger, now that's an ex-con.

Nigger made me proud.

(Showboat) 'Yeah, those 40 ounces'

'really do upgrade the Motel 6.'

The only reason I mess around with them.

[clanking]

(Showboat) 'Hey, what?'

[Showboat screaming]

[wheels screeching]

Fucking dead!

My son of a.. Wh-what?

Boy, you wait till I get my hands

on that cold-blooded man!

[indistinct chatter]

Right here, honey, and make sure Cathy doesn't have any more

she's drunk enough already.

Oh, Cathy's drunk again?

Every time she goes somewhere, she gets drunk.

Girl, this is a great party, Janelle.

Only the best for you, goody girl. Only the best.

And the night is still young, honey.

Whoo-oo!

(Kid) 'Look, I know I said no women'

'but is it my imagination or..'

Or do we have an extra amount

of fat women here tonight?

Look, don't sweat it, man.

It's my cousin, Stinky, man.

This is his thing, his Posse.

Look, I-I didn't want any women, just the fellas.

Dammit, they're big.

[upbeat music]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Hell yeah ♪

♪ You know what I'm sayin' ♪♪

[upbeat music]

[indistinct chattering]

[Aunt Lucy laughing]

[knocking on door]

Come in.

[upbeat music]

You okay, Aunt Lucy?

What is all of that noise downstairs?

Oh! Uh.

Few of the fellas came by for Kid's bachelor party.

And what about this movie you brought me?

Oh, that was "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", Aunt Lucy.

That's no turtle. That's ass.

[chuckles]

Be in touch, Aunt Lucy.

- Call us if you need us. - See you.

[instrumental music]

Marques, where's the food?

I snuck out of the house to come here and I'm hungry.

We got a caterer coming, baby.

I'll bet those cons took the food to the hotel.

I know. Let's go find out what's happening. Come on.

♪ Hey Mr. DJ ♪

♪ Can you get this party.. ♪

Oh, kinda, kinda mild for a Kid 'n Play

jimmy jam-jam.

Some swollen motherfuckers in here tonight.

Food! Well, I sure am hungry.

Man, what the fuck is your problem?

The problem is that this fucking food ain't paid for.

Ain't nobody eating till I get the rest of my money.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

But you let these two policewomen here eat.

Oh-ho, ho, ho. They got guns too.

And we got warrants, pimp daddy.

Yeah, you got a good point.

(Veda) 'Looks like there's some action'

'going on out here.'

[knocking on door]

Hello.

I'm looking for a Veda Pratt.

Um, that's me.

Miss. Pratt, I have a warrant for your arrest.

- What? - What?

Failure to pay a series of parking tickets.

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. That's some mistake.

I pay my tickets.

I'm gonna have to take you down.

What?

[chuckles]

This is yours?

Heh, wait a minute.

Tomorrow is my wedding day.

I'm getting married tomorrow.

Miss, please, face the wall.

Spread your legs.

[chuckles]

Not that far.

[chuckles]

Janelle, I'm going to jail.

The other hand, please.

I've never been to jail.

What am I gonna wear?

Don't worry about it, Veda.

You already got on stripes.

Folks, please

stand back into the house.

Pursuant of penal code section 3--

Find Kid. Find Kid!

I command you to..

...wave your hands in the air!

[all cheering]

♪ Shake your booty baby ♪

♪ Shake your booty ♪

♪ Shake your booty baby ♪

♪ Take it off ♪ ♪ Take it off ♪

♪ Take it off ♪ ♪ Take it off.. ♪

[chuckles]

You got me good this time.

You got me this time.

[both laughing]

♪ Take it off ♪ ♪ Take it off ♪

♪ Take it off ♪ ♪ Take it off ♪

♪ Take it off ♪ ♪ Take it off ♪

♪ Shake your.. ♪

Here it is, guys. Bad-ass. Whoo!

'It's the bomb, here we go.'

[grunting]

'That ain't bad-ass.'

Is this some kind of joke?

Oh, w-well, w-w-wait.

Just give it some time, it-it it's probably some leader tape.

'Just let it roll. Give it, give it a chance.'

(Raphael on TV) God, I love being a turtle!

Just like them punk ass niggers watching the shit.

[indistinct chatter]

This party seem bunk to me.

Man, you all supposed to deliver at 1637 Blast Ave.

Look here, I'll deliver this food anywhere

you hear me, anywhere as long as you got the money.

We got money. Pay the man.

1637 Blast Ave.

You get paid when we get fed.

- 'That's ninja turtle ass.' - 'Hey, man.'

Somebody must've switched the tape!

Damn!

Night heat, God of lust!

We praise you!

[all cheering]

[knocking on door]

Hey, Showboat, look, I'm sorry, baby. No men are allowed.

Eh, we got business here. We lookin' for Kid 'n Play.

- And that's a man. - No, no, baby.

You are man.

That is a God. Whoo!

[all cheering]

Go over to the kitchen. You check out the bathroom.

Boy, they're making Gods smaller these days..

...and bowlegged.

- Now, this your stripper? - Yes, baby.

I think you better try to get a refund.

I'll show you what stripping is.

- Hey, wait a minute. - Step aside.

[cheering continues]

(Showboat) 'That's right, baby. That's alright.'

Take your liberties with me. I'm free.

Go, boy. There you go. Girl, be careful. That's mine.

[telephone ringing]

- Hello. - So-so.

How my Aunt Lucy doing?

Eating my prunes

waiting for Kid to show up

for his bachelor party

and watchin' that ass.

Yo, yo, yo, Trick, let me hold the cellular joint, man.

This ain't no damn game. Give me the phone!

Yo, yo, Play, the phone ain't turned on.

I'm frontin', man. I told you, the hoes like that.

Man, pay your damn bill.

Hey, man, I sent 'em a couple of checks.

Look, man, the phone company don't take welfare checks.

It seems like all I know is broke brothers.

Look, I got to come over there. Shit, man.

Johnny, man, what's up with Angina?

(Marques) 'Now, the moment'

'you've all been waiting for..'

[in unison] Angina Williams!

[all cheering]

[upbeat music]

[cheering continues]

Oh, oh, oh..

[upbeat music]

The Boat is in the house!

Showboat's getting ready to get out the house.

Now, get to stepping.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Boat is leaving the building.

Please, don't throw anymore panties.

Thank you. You're wonderful.

Get out of here, you steroid freaks.

Out!

Cousin, don't let me down, man.

Yo, yo, check it out, Kid.

All for you, boy.

[upbeat music]

Oh, man!

[indistinct]

Stinky, Stinky, take off your hat.

- What? - Take off your hat.

[chuckles]

[upbeat music]

[all cheering]

Oh, come on. Take all my goddamn money.

[all cheering]

- Hey, get off me. - Come on. Get off.

- Get off me. Hey, hey, hey. - Come on.

[clears throat] Excuse me.

I'm president of the All-That club

and I'm here to tell you that you are all that.

Baby, I'll eat through that dress to get to that ass.

No, fuck that dress. I'll eat through them drawers.

What'd I say wrong?

- What? What now? - Play would not let you down.

Close your eyes, buddy. Come on, trust me.

Close your eyes, this is it. It's the bomb!

You lucky boy you..

Open your arms wide..

...for a big surprise.

'Come on, honey.'

[hooting]

Are you the lucky man?

[Play laughs]

[Kid retching]

[upbeat music]

- Sydney? - Kid?

Hi!

Wow! Uh, what are you doing here?

Um, I was celebrating

my grandparents' wedding anniversary.

Wow, it's great to see you.

Um..

...it's been a long time.

Yeah.

A lot's happened.

- Well, what are you doing-- - You--

[chuckles] Sorry. You go. Go ahead.

Well, I-I hear you're taking a job in Washington.

And you're getting married.

Veda is a lucky woman.

I wish you guys a lot of happiness.

Well..

...I better get back to my grandparents.

Bye.

Uh, Kid?

I wish it had ended better between us.

Yeah. Me, too.

She's better for you. She'll give you what you need.

Yeah, heh, I guess you're right.

I will always love you.

Friends?

Friends.

[chuckles] Ohh!

Didn't I tell you about Night Heat?

- Yes. - I knew he was gonna work you.

He gave me, like, a whoo thing!

[laughs]

(Veda) Ooh!

Uh, got you.

- Bye. - Bye.

- 'Uh-huh!' - 'Uh-huh!'

[chuckles]

Well, it's a good thing I found out

about this before it was too late, huh?

(Kid) 'No, wait the minute, you didn't see what you..'

what you thought you saw. I-I mean..

What you thought you saw, you didn't really see.

(Veda) 'Okay, save the jokes, Kid.'

Look, you've got it all wrong. Okay?

Her grandparents are here celebrating

their anniversary in another suite.

I didn't know she was here!

- W-what are you talking about? - That's perfect.

'So you give her a kiss'

on her grandparents' anniversary.

What, a kiss?

It was a "Good-bye

have a nice life" kiss.

'Thank you. Look, you don't trust me?

Fine! I guess this is what being

married to you is gonna be about, huh?

(Veda) 'Yeah, do whatever. You're gonna do whatever anyway.'

(Play) 'Time out! Time out!'

Time out!

Come on, man. Let's talk.

- Come on! Come here. - Come on, man!

(Veda) 'He's ain't gonna play me.'

Uh-uh, uh-uh, he is not all that.

Girl, you were wrong.

Janelle.

I just saw my man

kissing his ex-girlfriend.

It was just a peck.

Yo, Kid, man, take a time out, man

and turn this thing the other way around, man.

You would've drawn the same conclusions, man.

For the first time, I'm convinced

that this woman's gonna make you happy, man.

And you're ready to blow it?

Now, you say you love him.

If you really love him, Veda

then you got to trust him, baby.

'Cause I got a lot invested in this wedding, man.

I'll be damned if it's gonna go down the tubes

over some misunderstanding

or I'm walking down the aisle with Veda my damn self.

That's all there is to it, man. Word up.

Come on, man. She wouldn't have you.

Shit.

[door opens]

Now, what you need to do

is stop trippin'

and take your big ass back down them stairs

and go get your man!

Hey, Kiddo.

I'm sorry.

[sighs]

Look, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have blown up at you.

Mmm.

There you go, man. I've been looking all over for you guys.

Telephone, man.

Uncle Vester.

- Oh, jeez. - Yeah.

Handle it.

Uncle Vester?

Kid, you better hurry up and get over here!

These boys got a party.

Everybody and their mama's here

including the law.

Okay, alright. We-we'll be right there.

Come over here, bothering people ain't nice.

Kinda embarrass somebody.

Officers of the goddamn law!

What you wanna do? I ain't scared of you.

I ain't Rodney King. I'll get one of you.

[indistinct chatter over radio]

[upbeat music]

(Evans) 1637 Blast Avenue.

That disturbance is now in control.

Well, I'm gonna kill those little guys.

- This is your house? - Uh, yes.

Party's gotta stop. You're disturbing the peace.

Well, w-w-w-wait the minute. Hold on, Officer Evans.

Um, my man here, he's getting married tomorrow, man.

And I'm just trying to send him off in style.

Um, could you, uh..

- Are you married? - Yeah.

Come on, man, think about it.

The night before you lost your freedom

you realize that night

that's gonna be the last night

you is gonna be hanging with your homies

chasing after the honeys.

No more nothing, man, just you..

...the TV..

...and her.

Come on, man.

Come on.

You people have a nice evening.

- Okay. - Come on, man, let's talk.

I have a cousin that's a marriage counselor.

♪ Get down ♪

♪ Get up off your feet ♪

♪ Shake the ground ♪

♪ Shake the ground ♪

♪ So get down ♪

♪ Get up off your feet ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ So get down ♪

♪ Get on up move your butt ♪

♪ It's a house party thang ♪

♪ Do your stuff no other way to go to the flow ♪

♪ Again and again tell your friends ♪

♪ It's a house party thang ♪ ♪ House party wakes you up ♪

♪ So get down ♪ ♪ Come on go ♪

♪ Get up on your feet ♪

♪ Shake the ground ♪

♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Shake the ground ♪

I can't believe those little hard heads

could throw a hyper party than me and Play.

♪ Get up on your feet shake the ground ♪

Oh, heh, wait for me, Janelle.

Party over here.

♪ So get down ♪ ♪ House party ♪

♪ Get up on your feet ♪ ♪ House party ♪

♪ Shake the ground ♪

♪ House party ♪ ♪ House party wakes you up ♪

♪ House party ♪ ♪ So get down ♪

♪ Ho oooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ House party wakes you up ♪

♪ So get down ♪

♪ Get up on your feet ♪

♪ Shake the ground ♪

♪ Shake the ground ♪ ♪ House party wakes you up ♪

♪ So get down ♪

[groans]

It's 1 o'clock.

Do you know where your testicles are?

Where's my money?

We spent it.

Look, I-I'm getting married tomorrow.

You wouldn't hurt the family jewels, would you?

Start cuttin'!

♪ So get down ♪

♪ Get on down ♪

Whoa, whoa, whoa..

Wait a minute. Whoa, cool!

Uh, see, now, that's funky.

Now-now, who is that?

Uh, that's our new group "Immature."

We-we just signed them

we were getting ready to call you to tell you

to come down and check them out.

(Play) Hey, hey, hey, hey

and the other act as promised, my brother.

Wackow!

Sex As A Weapon. We got a deal?

Yeah, deal.

Wait a minute, I thought you signed

with Coldblood Management.

Ahem! Well, since we heard about

what they did to those blind rappers..

- We, uh, changed our mind. - That's right.

We can't be doing business

with peoples hear me now, like that.

We don't like that.

(all) Mmm!

Yeah. Mmm!

Uh, okay, girls, go on in, use those weapons.

Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

(Play) Oh, that's two groups, Rowboat.

I guess you owe us now, huh?

Hook him up.

Yeah, hook me up.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Whoo! See, man, I told you, I'd take care of everything, man.

It's the American way.

Look, congratulations, man.

It's for your honeymoon.

Excuse me, boy, can I have my baby now?

You can have your baby now.

Uh, excuse me. Excuse me.

Hey, Kid, we know, we've been lots of trouble, so here.

Wow. Thanks a lot.

That might be just enough

to clean up after this..

...bachelor party of yours.

[upbeat music]

Hey, cuz. My 50 percent.

Sure. Let me get some change, man.

Can anybody bust up a dollar?

Yo, you wrong, man.

I want my 50 percent, man.

I'll burn this place down, man.

[music continues]

[indistinct clamoring]

(male #6) 'Oh, damn!'

(male #7) 'You're crazy, Sam.'

[upbeat music]

♪ The debo's back in effect ♪

♪ In a house party set catching wreck on a mic check ♪

♪ Before we tear it up I turn and give ♪

♪ My partner a high five ♪

♪ 'Cause it's time to get live ♪

♪ So when I say make some ♪

♪ You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ When I say make some ♪

♪ You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ Well, it's the Kid from Kid 'n' Play ♪

♪ Now that's a rap group ♪

♪ I'm not that sup but I'm living phat troop ♪

♪ You looking that cute the girl in the cat suit ♪

♪ In my black coupe rhyming on the fat loops oops ♪

♪ Feelin' good pop the tape in the tape deck ♪

♪ And I'mma catch wreck than catch a fat check ♪

♪ Check what the heck grab the mic for a mic check ♪

♪ Right before your eyes equalize ♪

♪ With the cruise next who's next ♪

♪ Who's gonna flex with the hype rhyme ♪

♪ I think it's my time I'm flowing like a pipeline ♪

♪ Going for the right sign gonna have a fine time ♪

♪ Name up in neon like Deon going prime time ♪

♪ Trying to score a touchdown trying to make a slam dunk ♪

♪ Breakin' off a fat chunk 'cause the track is mad funk ♪

♪ Niggers try to say I never gave back ♪

♪ Get ready for the payback ♪

♪ This a house party black ♪

♪ Yo when I say make some ♪

♪ You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ When I say make some ♪ you say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ P to the L-A-Y in the place to be ♪

♪ What's the matter brother didn't ya hear me ♪

♪ See I'm the man that ya heard about ♪

♪ The fly dark skin brother that the girls ♪

♪ Spread the word about and then you wonder ♪

♪ Why I get sex more ♪

♪ You get vexed more 'cause I'm the boy next door ♪

♪ And with a smile and a grin and then I go up in ♪

♪ And in a hour later I'm at it again friend ♪

♪ And then I'm ready to go but you don't hear me though ♪

♪ And I'm about to throw just like Riddick Bowe ♪

♪ I keep an even flow watch as I do the show ♪

♪ And I'mma flip it and kick it like judo ♪

♪ So don't try to say that I can't when I can pull ♪

♪ Watch me trample this hip hop sample ♪

♪ The choice is yours black ♪

♪ You can either catch a cap or get slapped ♪

♪ Or sing the chorus Jack ♪

♪ When I say make some you say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ When I say make some you say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ Knock knock ya gotta let me in ♪

♪ 'Cause I know ya got alligator skin ♪

♪ Underneath of your chin and I only must pick up ♪

♪ Roughneck nigger check 'em in a sec ♪

♪ Just to see who's bigger ♪

♪ The Left never ever did expect to flow it ♪

♪ When I say it's time to get it up I know he can't show it ♪

♪ And if he make a mistake he'll never give in ♪

♪ Stupid mutha ♪

♪ What-yeah ♪ ♪ But if my hat is to the back ♪

♪ Then you can sort of say it's crooked ♪

♪ As I look that only nookie ♪

♪ Gives a rough neck rookie ♪

♪ Jump the hump-a-hump ♪

♪ On the back hit the front ♪

♪ Take a dump in the stump ♪

♪ Roll a big fat blunt ♪

♪ And if he's quick to hand it to ya don't grab it ♪

♪ He only really want it if he know he can't have it ♪

♪ Chase a roughneck bet you'll say ♪

♪ Dagnabbit Mr. Fudd ♪

♪ We will neva catch that wuffneck-a wabbit ♪

♪ So when I say make some you say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ When I say make some you say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪ ♪ Noise ♪

♪ When I say make some ♪

♪ You say noise.. ♪♪

[crowd cheering]

[instrumental music]

Oh, my baby.

(Play) 'Yo, Kid, Veda, hold up! Kid.'

Hold up, man. Here you go, man.

A little something. Voila!

Come on, man. Kid 'n' Play productions.

We gonna be large!

You got us a car?

Chill, man. For business, man.

A tax write-off. Enjoy it.

Congratulations. Yo! Come on!

♪ I just love the man ♪

♪ And I don't care what you say ♪

♪ I just love the man ♪

♪ 'Cause he treats me the way ♪

♪ When I want to be treated ♪

♪ When I need to be needed ♪

- 'Alright, Angina.' - 'Go, girl.'

[indistinct shouting]

Whoo!

(Vester) 'Come on, girl, let's go have fun with baby.'

'Come on, I liked you the first time I saw you.'

'I'll make you bow-legged, and I swear to God.'

♪ My inspiration ♪

♪ And you know you just don't understand ♪

♪ Our relation ♪

♪ 'Cause when I'm down he's the one ♪

♪ Who makes me feel real good inside ♪

♪ He keeps me going ♪

♪ He makes me feel ♪

♪ So good ♪

♪ I just love that man ♪

♪ I just love him I love him I love him ♪

♪ I just love ♪

♪ The way you just don't understand ♪

♪ I just love him I love him I love him ♪

♪ I just love the man ♪

♪ I just love him I love him.. ♪♪

[instrumental music]

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪

♪ Yeah we like it raw in the streets ♪

♪ For the fellas on the corner posted up 20 deep ♪

♪ With your "F" on your hip ready to flip ♪

♪ Whenever you empty your clip dip trip your sidekick ♪

♪ You got skill you best bet is to chill ♪

♪ And do yourself a favor don't come nowhere near the Hill ♪

♪ With that bullshit word money grip it'll cost ya ♪

♪ Make you reminisce of Frank Nitti The Enforcer ♪

♪ I move with MOP's last generation ♪

♪ Straight up and down act like you want a confrontation ♪

♪ I packs my gat I gotta stay strapped ♪

♪ I bust mines don't try to sneak up on me from behind ♪

♪ Don't sleep I get deep when I creep ♪

♪ I see right now I gotta show you it ain't nothin' sweet ♪

♪ Go get your [bleep] hammer and act like you want drama ♪

♪ I'll send a message to your mama ♪

♪ Hello do you know your one son left ♪

♪ I am licensed to kill and he had been marked for death ♪

♪ He's up the Hill in the back of the building ♪

♪ With two in the dome I left him stiffer than a tombstone ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪

♪ Yeah we like it rugged in the ghetto ♪

♪ I used to pack sling shots but now I'm packin' heavy metal ♪

♪ A rugged underground freestyler ♪

♪ Is Li'l Fame for you not good slap Li'l Mallet ♪

♪ When I let off it's a burning desire ♪

♪ Increase the peace when I release it be rapid fire ♪

♪ For the cause I drop suckers like drawers ♪

♪ Derelicts'll hit the floors from nickel-plated .44's ♪

♪ I'm takin' titles when it's belt time ♪

♪ Play around I have punks call the injury help line ♪

♪ I bust words in my verse that'll serve ♪

♪ Even on my first nerve I put herbs to curbs ♪

♪ 'Cause MOP got the upper hand ♪

♪ And I still write hits ♪

♪ That make my brother wanna get up and dance ♪

♪ Front I make it a thrill to kill ♪

♪ Bringin' the ruckus it's neighborhood hoods ♪

♪ For the Hill that's real ♪

♪ Me and mics hustle light dubs and dykes ♪

♪ So who wanna skate 'cause I'm puttin' thugs on ice ♪

♪ Whatever I drop must be rough rugged and hard more ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ Yo here I am ♪ ♪ So what up? ♪

♪ Get it on sucker ♪

♪ Checkin' Bill seem to be a ill black brother ♪

♪ I gets dough from the way I flow ♪

♪ And before I go you [bleep] gonna know ♪

♪ That I ain't nothin to [bleep] with duck quick ♪

♪ I squeeze when I'm stressed them Teflons'll ♪

♪ Will tear through your vest ♪

♪ I love a bloodbath ♪ ♪ Niggas know the half ♪

♪ You can feel the wrath ♪ ♪ Saratoga St. Marks Ave. ♪

♪ B-I-L-L-Y D-A-N-Z-E ♪ ♪ E ♪

♪ N-I-E me Billy Danzenie ♪

♪ Knock knock ♪ ♪ Who's there? ♪

♪ Li'l Fame ♪ ♪ Li'l Fame who? ♪

♪ Li'l Fame your knuckle boom ease up off the trigger ♪

♪ It's alright me and shorty go to gunfights ♪

♪ Together we bring the ruckus right ♪

♪ We trump tight alright ♪

♪ I earned mine so I'm entitled to a title ♪

♪ Seven thirty ♪ ♪ That means I'm homicidal ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪ ♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ Yo I scream on rappers like a rollercoaster ♪

♪ To them wack competition go hang it up like a poster ♪

♪ They all get excited but don't excite me ♪

♪ Don't invite me.. ♪♪