Original subtitles

(MEN WHOOP)

- Whoo! - Yeah! Let's go, brother! Whoo!

♪ I see trees of green,

♪ red roses too.

(COUGHS)

♪ I see them bloom...

♪ for me and you.

♪ And I think to myself,

♪ 'What a wonderful world.'

(SHOUTS)

♪ I see skies of blue,

♪ clouds of white,

♪ bright blessed day,

♪ dark sacred night.

♪ And I think to myself,

♪ 'What a wonderful world.'

♪ The colours of the rainbow,

♪ so pretty in the sky,

♪ are also on the faces

♪ of people going by.

♪ I see friends shaking hands,

♪ saying, 'How do you do?'

♪ They're really saying,

♪ 'I love you.'

♪ I hear babies cry.

♪ I watch them grow.

♪ They'll learn much more

♪ than I'll ever know.

♪ And I think to myself,

♪ 'What a wonderful world.'

♪ What a wonderful world.

♪ Oh, yeah. ♪

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

WHISPERS: Great.

(CHILD CRIES)

Cry harder, kid. Shit's gonna get worse.

- Why are you like this? - Why aren't you like this?

What the fuck is that ― grass and shit stew?

- Hey! Give it back! - Guys! - Nah!

You don't say 'guys' any more, Jamie. It's triggering.

- (SCOFFS) 'Guys' is a trigger word now? - Alex, look, just leave Pip alone.

No, Jamie. Didn't you hear? Wellness has fixed everything with trigger words.

I said shush! Lane is here. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

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Women of Hiro Valley...

- sisters... - WOMEN: Yes.

- ...survivors. - WOMEN: Yes!

Eight years ago today, the virus took all the world's men.

Our fathers,

brothers,

friends,

our lovers,

our sons.

Our hearts are forever scarred,

but the time for harking back is over.

ALL: Yes!

In eight years,

- look what we've built. - ALL: Yes!

Education.

- Heathcare for all. - Whoo!

Menstruation leave ― mandatory. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

The virus may have taken our men, but it will not take our potential!

Mine!

- (SHUSHING) - ALL: Yes!

- Carpe futurum! - ALL: Carpe futurum!

Thanks to the goddess, we have seed.

- Are we not blessed? - ALL: Yes!

Well...

- Does our past trauma make us weak? - ALL: No!

- Gullible, yes. - PIP: Shut up!

- OK, Alex, come on. We are going. - What?

- One day, through wellness... - Don't. Don't!

- ...we will overcome this virus... - We're going.

...and truly create...

- You're making a scene! - Oh, you wanna see a scene?

- ...a brave, new well world! - No, no, no, no, no, don't!

(GASPING)

That's not mine. It's not.

Be your best. Be free. (WOMEN MURMUR AGREEMENT, APPLAUD)

Oh, sh... No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

(GRUNTS)

Ow! (GASPS)

Wow.

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

These are new.

So uplifting (!)

The fonts are shit.

Assault of the mayor is a blissable offence.

Oh, I am so sorry,

Constable.

- Don't call me that. - What? Constable?

Do you ever get sick of this?

WHISPERS: You miserable little shit.

I'm constantly sick of this power-drunk arsehole.

(GRUNTS)

(MOANS)

(BOTH PANT)

Ah!

(GRUNTS)

Seventh time lucky. 2-3-4...

Now, without further ado, the Winter Repopulation Draw!

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

3-2-0-0.

- (GASPS) - WOMAN: Oh my God. (APPLAUSE)

A seed could not find a finer garden.

(WOMEN AGREE)

2-3-4-2.

2-3-4-2.

(SCREAMS, LAUGHS)

No, that's my friend. It's my best friend.

(BOTH PANT)

What up?

I was thinking... (PANTS)

Do you think that maybe sometime we could...

go away for a weekend?

Sorry, but you have the biggest blackhead on the side of your nose.

(LAUGHS)

- Why do you do that? - Do what?

Twist the moment. (DOOR HANDLE RATTLES)

- I dunno. (KNOCK ON DOOR) - What's going on?

(GRUNTS)

- Why is the door locked? (ZIPPER WHIZZES) - Security purposes.

- What do you want? - Why's it taking so long?

I'll be done in a minute.

Done getting me off or done shooting me in the head?

How's that for twisting the moment?

- Jesus. - Unless...

you wanna not and say we did.

You know I can't do that.

So stop dangling dirty weekends like we're normal people and get on with it.

(GUN CLICKS)

What gets you wetter ―

me or that gun?

This is fucked.

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Us.

Us is fucked.

(BANG!)

(THUD!)

Release the semen slowly.

- I am doing it slowly. - Five potato,

four potato...

...three potato, two potato, one potato. (COW MOOS)

Ooh, don't pull it out so fast! Slowly.

Slowly. (COW MOOS)

Nice.

See? Happy days.

Your first insemination.

- Pat yourself on the back. (LAUGHS) - (GROANS)

Oh, come on. You created life. You're like a god.

...des. Goddess.

Oh, here we go.

Constance, thank you so much. I just wanted to talk about the―

- Hey, guys. Ow! - Ooh! Easy.

I am easy.

Constance is easy with her tongue.

No, I'm not. Uh, no driving, no heavy lifting―

No sharp objects,

supervision and secured sleeping arrangements recommended while blissed.

We know.

- Duration? - Five days ― repeat offence.

Excellent choice. The best.

Um, in regards to the evidence, I just wanna―

- We'll talk later, OK? - OK.

- OK. - Uh...

- Thanks. We can take it from here. - Aw.

Uh, Co― Constance, um,

I just wanted to say that even though it was my name on the cup,

the smoothie assault was all Alex. I would never do that to Lane.

And I would never waste flaxseed and spinach.

Be your best. Be free!

- I love your nose. - Yep, yep, yep.

- No wonder Jackson wanted to fuck you. - OK.

- Ew. Incest. - She's my sister-in-law.

- Yeah, incest. - (SIGHS)

Can you just be useful and give me a hand?

You're a selfish little turd-burger, aren't you?

Jeopardise Jamie's chances at anotherbaby.

You make us all look bad.

- We'd be better off without you. - Oh my God, Pip.

What? She can't hear me.

Well, she can, but, you know, lights on, no one home.

She won't remember.

She wouldn't care anyway. She hates me.

- Hate's a bit of a strong word. - Alex is a strong turd-burger.

- Nun-night. - Goodnight.

Sperm is precious.

Sperm is rare.

That's why we've established the Repopulation Lottery,

a robust, just process

for selecting success and delivering a healthy future.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

To keep our population stable,

our quarterly allocation from the nation's pre-virus sperm banks

is gifted to our most viable motherhood candidates.

Congratulations.

You must made the first step in this wonderful journey.

Take a moment to acknowledge your incredible good fortune

and radiant power.

Ow.

Oh. Um... Sorry.

First time?

Fourth.

Wow.

- You have four daughters? - Oh, no,

my number's come up four times, but I just...

I can't seem to get past this next stage.

There's another stage?

Oh, your vulva, it's... (CHUCKLES) I mean,

it's... it's... it's impressive.

Thank you. (CHUCKLES)

Impressively healthy, and I have seen my share.

So you've only had one successful pregnancy?

Yep.

Just― Just one?

- Yeah. - Nine years ago.

- Yeah. - K.

So, uh, you understand and agree

that in participating in the repopulation lottery,

there is a 50% possibility of miscarriage, and if that―

Yeah, that's fine.

The boy babies die. I know.

I've been through worse...

like everyone.

Yeah, well, it's not really a baby at that stage, anyway.

It's more like a...

little pink piece of Y chromosome snot. (EXHALES)

How are your weekly orgasms?

Uh... Not great. It's been on the back-burner, actually.

OK, well, get busy.

Come on. Bring it up to tri-weekly if you can.

(SIGHS)

(BIRDS WARBLE OUTSIDE)

(INTRIGUING MUSIC)

(GASPS)

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

(INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES)

(READS)

OK.

(INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES)

Oh! (GASPS)

No! (GROANS)

(DOOR OPENS)

Less is more, Lane. Do you want quality or do you want quantity?

I don't wanna compromise on yield.

An abundant future is my top priority. Is it yours?

Yes, but if you d...

- ...the heck? - What is it?

- (THUD!) - Ow! Ow.

Hello.

Sorry, I... I was just doing the snacks for the committee meeting.

Um... Sorry. Uh, you guys...

girls, uh, women just― just continue as if I weren't here.

- I'll talk to you soon. - OK.

Philippa.

Come.

Um...

Actually, everyone calls me Pip, but, um,

you can call me Philippa if you want.

Um, you'd be the only one. But, um,

that's fine too, if you want to be the only one.

Philly, do you know what I love about you?

I love that I can trust you to do the right thing and keep confidences.

If there's anything you want to talk to me about...

my door is open.

(WOMEN APPROACH, CHATTERING)

- (DOOR OPENS) - (GASPS) Michelle!

Welcome.

Brandi, lovely to see you.

You can leave now, Pip. (CHATTER CONTINUES)

(HUMS, CRUNCHES)

(INTRIGUING MUSIC)

(AIR HISSES)

(INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(TIMER WINDS)

(TINKLING MUSIC)

WHISPERS: Could we, um...?

I'm sorry. Could we, uh...?

- Jamie, you know the house― - I won't tell anyone, OK? I promise.

- WHISPERS: I can't. - Please.

VOICE BREAKS: Please.

(SIGHS)

(GENTLE, INTRIGUING MUSIC)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(INHALES DEEPLY)

(EXHALES)

MALE VOICE: Hey, Jamie.

WHISPERS: Hey, Jackson.

(GENTLE, INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES)

- Hey. - ...is for horses.

- Tell me about your day. - It was good.

Tell me what you did.

- I milked the cows. - Yeah?

And then what?

- WHISPERS: Let them out. - Yeah. Tell me more.

Well, rain's been scarce recently, so I had to mix in some silage.

(MOANS SOFTLY) Not the silage.

Half silage, half hay. (PANTS)

Ask me about my day.

How was your day?

WHISPERS: I'm gonna have another baby.

It's true.

We're gonna be a family again.

(DOOR OPENS) Hello?

Hello.

- Yes, hello. - Where's Alex?

I dunno. I thought she was with you.

No. Why would she be with me? I was at the doctors.

Well, I had a pressing committee meeting. I was in charge of catering.

OK.

Alex!

(SIGHS) Al?

(GROANS SOFTLY)

(JARRING MUSIC)

Oh shit!

That's my good towel.

- Alex! - Alex!

ALEX: (SIGHS) This place.

This whole shitty place.

Look, Ma, they blissed me again. But I found a new way to mess with them.

What do you care?

They permed you.

(CLOCK TICKS)

(DARK, INTRIGUING MUSIC)

(SNIFFLES)

She's not here. I think we need to get in the truck and look for her.

She would not look this hard for us.

What the fuck, Pip?

What? People die in fridges and freezers all the time.

Have you thought about what happens to you if shedoesturn up dead?

OK? They're not gonna promote someone who's left her blissed friend to die.

Pip! Wait up.

(FRANTIC PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

Be careful. Be careful! (ENGINE STARTS)

Be caref― (SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

DEEP VOICE: Aargh! (THUD!)

(BOTH PANT) What was that?

Was that Alex?

- Tell me that wasn't Alex. - That wasn't Alex.

- Did you just kill Alex? - No!

It was a goat.

That didn't sound like a goat!

We don't even have any goats!

(ENGINE IDLES)

(PANTS)

OK.

(GASPS)

Alex?

Oh no! Oh no, no, no, no. Not Alex.

WHISPERS: Don't be dead. Please don't die.

OK. OK, OK, OK.

OK, we need to get our story straight. OK. We were both in the house,

and I was making a delicious and nutritious kale and pomegranate salad for dinner

when, uh, we heard a screech and a thump, and I said, 'Oh my goddess. What was that?'

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Quinoa and pomegranate?

Bomb. (BOTH SCREAM)

Quinoa tastes like grassy pubes.

Holy shit.

Who that?

You h...

You― You were... I thought―

SLOWLY: What did you guys do?

- We don't say 'guys' any more. - She looks dead.

- Flip her over. - You flip her over.

Fucking pussies.

(INTRIGUING MUSIC)

Hey, lady.

Wakey, wakey.

(GASPS)

(DRAMATIC NOTE)

It can't be.

- There aren't any. - It is.

No. No, no, no, no, no. It― It's one of those fake stick-on beards.

Not stick-on.

- They use glue. - It's not glue, dude.

I'll be the judge of that.

We don't use 'dude' any more.

- Go ahead. - I will.

Well, be my guest.

I would never be your guest, cos you would be a terrible host.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC BUILDS)

(WOMEN SCREAM) (GASPS)

(WOMEN GRUNT)

Oh shit. (RETCHES)

His name is Bobby.

Fuck!

He knows things.

- Ma? - WEAKLY: She was the key.

We do this with the cows all the time. I don't wanna sex you;

I just want your sperms, OK?

- It's unwell not to tell them. - Look, don't do this now.

If we don't do this now, they'll punish us.

If you don't do this now, they could suspend my place in the lottery,

and I've tried for so long, Pip.

Ah! There you are.

- Hello. - Welcome.

OK, well...

I'll put the jug on, shall I?

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