Original subtitles

Together: [ Chanting ]

We're number one!

Young man: Whoo!

♪

[ Electronic sounds echoing ]

♪

Young woman: No justice!

Together: [ Chanting ] No peace!

-No justice! -No peace!

No justice!

♪

Great.

I guess my ass needs an identity.

♪

You could do a sport, like maybe one of the intramural teams?

Peter, you know I refuse to sweat.

Mm. Uh, you could try the Speech and Debate club.

Okay, Denise, I cannot stress this enough.

I actively hate everyone involved in that activity.

Guys, these aren't really feeling like Chad to me.

Like, when you describe me to others, what do you say?

What? You know,

like, when you're describing me to various people

you're trying to impress, like, what would you say my thing is?

You don't like being outdoors.

You also don't like being indoors.

Guys, these are honestly dead on,

but, like, what do I like?

What about Asian Appreciation Club?

Oh, I don't know if Chad would like that.

Well, Chad's right here. Let's ask him.

What's Asian Appreciation Club?

It's really neat.

We dip our toes into everything that's great

about Asian culture.

We read manga, sample Asian candies,

and watch Chinese action films.

Wait, so you just sit around eating snacks

and watching movies for credit?

What a scam. I love it.

Yeah, sign my ass up.

It's not a scam.

It's about honoring Asian experiences.

And understanding the culture and exploring the issues.

Yep, I'm into all that --

P.F. Chang's, Awkwafina, the whole deal.

It's not about P.F. Chang's.

It's about culture.

Okay, Denise, whatever it is you need to hear me say,

just pretend I said it.

♪

[ Sighs ]

Oh, God.

[ Door closes ]

[ Wolf-whistles ]

Playa pimp! [ Chuckles ]

Excuse me?

Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to whistle.

That was weird.

Um, I'm just going to Asian Appreciation Club.

I'm not, like, excited about it or anything.

I'm sorry, were you gonna say something?

Your mouth moved a little bit.

No, no.

Hey, uh, bump me.

[ Laughs ]

Alright, well...

Alright, see ya.

Wow, sitting on the floor right out of the gates.

Wow, you're here.

Ah, it's like my two favorite worlds are finally colliding.

Peter, stop waving. I'm three feet away from you.

Welcome to Asian Appreciation Club, Chad.

Please feel free to peruse our art, food,

and literature station.

Thank you. I will.

[ Gong crashes ]

Your people like that sound, Denise?

Sorry. Wow.

And now for the moment I've been excited for most.

I'd like to introduce you to someone very special to me.

Fantastic. Yeah.

Whoa. Peter: Yeah.

It's a fully functioning, perfect-grade Gundam model.

I've been working on it for 32 hours.

It has an internal skeleton.

You a freak, my man.

How quickly can you fire up one of these for me?

Very. Hell yeah.

Great club, you guys.

I seriously appreciate Asia now.

In fact, I'm gonna head on over there and appreciate

the Asian craftsmanship that went into this iPhone.

See ya.

[ Sighs ]

[ Muffled music plays]

♪

Hey, man.

Just want to say I'm really loving your choices,

like, head to toe.

You look sick, dude.

Thanks.

What's your birth name?

Mine's Ferydoon.

What, were you born, like, Kiko or something?

No, just Kevin.

You were born Kevin?

Yeah.

That wasn't, like, a late-in-the-game pivot?

No.

Kev-dog, what are you -- What are you watching?

It's K-pop, man.

Oh. Oh, yeah, K-pop.

[ Singing in Korean]

♪ Drama♪

♪ Dramama Ramama Ramama, hey♪

♪ Hey, yeah, yeah♪

Are you done? Can I have my bud back, please?

Uh-huh.

♪

One spaghetti for Mrs. Popular, and one for Mr. Cellphone Music.

Honey, put that away.

Oh, my God.

Have you guys, like, heard about this K-pop thing?

It's awesome. You probably haven't.

It hasn't really hit the States yet.

Slow down, you're gonna choke.

[ Coughing ] Chad, chew your food.

Drink some water.

[ Coughs ]

-Ugh. -It's awesome.

It's basically this Korean mash-up of pop,

hip-hop, and R&B.

And they have to go to these, like, crazy schools

where they basically train for like 17 hours a day,

and some of them even have to get plastic surgery.

It's so awesome, Mom.

You're so stupid.

Everyone already knows about K-pop.

It's literally one of the most famous things on earth.

Which -- Which is what I'm saying.

We all know about K-pop and -- and we all like it.

I'm really glad you're excited about something, Chad.

I really am.

It's so sick, Mom.

I feel like it was made for me.

I mean, it was made for teenage girls, but okay.

Oh, yeah? Can a teenage girl do this?

♪

Oh, those moves.

Your Chad is talented.

This is K-pop.

Wow.

♪

[ Singing in Korean ]

Denise: The multicultural assembly is only two weeks away,

and we're gonna show this school

what Asian Appreciation Club is all about.

Hey, Kev, check it out.

Got that MONSTA X merch.

The website wasn't in English,

so I accidentally bought 37 of them if you want one.

-Tight. -Which is why this year I decided

we're going to do a traditional Chinese tea ceremony.

-[ Coughs ] Weak sauce. -Excuse me?

I coughed and said "weak sauce," Denise.

Your idea is horrifying.

Do you have any better ideas, Chad?

Actually, I do.

You guys have been sitting on an Asian gold mine,

and that gold mine is K-pop.

Why don't we do a K-pop concert

and blow the lid off this whole damn school?

I-I don't think a K-pop performance is appropriate

for an educational assembly.

You're right, Denise.

Yeah, maybe we should just do the tea ceremony then.

O-Oh, and while we're humiliating ourselves,

maybe we can throw on some baby overalls

and stick our thumbs up our asses.

Or we can be the most popular club in school

and be rock-star legends!

Chad, you can't just show up and derail Asian Appreciation Club.

Baby doll, you're not even full Asian.

Your dad's a Polish real-estate agent,

and I'm Iranian, which is smack dab in the middle of Asia.

So it turns out I can't derail Asian Appreciation Club

because I am Asian Appreciation Club!

Who's with me?!

Are you guys in or what?

This is gonna be awesome!

Come on, Denise!

What do you say, Kevin?

I know what that tiny little shrug means.

Kevin's in! Let's do it.

♪

It's okay, it's okay. We can do the tea ceremony next year.

♪

And 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13.

Strike and mm, and pose, and uh-huh.

On time. Okay, get into formation.

Pump those balls, even the girls.

More in sync, you guys, come on.

This time on the beat. Faster, Peter.

Like you got a huge-ass crush on someone.

Now get that money out. We have too much money!

We need to get rid of some of it.

Everyone's looking confident.

Would it kill you to smile, Denise?

Give me one of these and go into a heart.

Ohhh!

We are from Korea!

Good.

[ Knocking ] Chad, get out of the bathroom! I need to pee.

Pee in the backyard.

Mom!

Chad's been in the bathroom for an hour.

I think he's, like, jerking it.

Okay. I got it.

Honey? Is everything okay in there?

Yeah, I'll be right out.

[ Sighs ]

Chad, what is that on your face?

Oh, it's a sheet mask made of Korean shark sperm.

If you want glass skin, you got to work for it, Mom.

-Freak. -Sticks and stones, whore.

Chad! Not you!

Mom, check this out.

Is that... you? Yeah.

I mean, hopefully it will be one day.

I-I just got to get a job to pay for all my surgeries.

Uh, honey, aren't you taking all this

K-pop stuff a little too far?

Are you kidding, Mom? I love it.

It's like I'm finally part of an awesome culture

I can be proud of.

What about being Persian?

We have amazing food, incredible tea,

and people love our cats.

Pass.

-I don't want any of that. -Ooh, ooh, ooh!

If you like cool music, you'll love this.

[ Singing in Farsi]

Hey!

♪ Dokhtar Irooni mesleh goleh♪

This is a classic! Come on, Chad, why aren't you dancing?

I'm upset.

[ School bell ringing ]

Oh, hey, Reid.

A-Are you, um, going to the multicultural assembly tomorrow?

Well, yeah, it's mandatory, so I kind of have to.

For sure, for sure.

Um, 'cause me and the Asian Appreciation Club

are gonna be doing a K-pop performance.

K-pop? Really? Wow.

Y-Yeah, that's really cool, right?

Yeah. It's just --

It's like a really big swing, you know?

Takes a lot of balls, but you're a maniac, dude.

I love it.

I'm a maniac. [ Chuckles ]

[ Singing in Korean]

♪

That was good. Yeah, that's getting better.

The snap was like...

-Yeah. -Alright.

You guys thought that was great?

-Yeah. -All pretty proud of yourselves,

but that was dog shit.

That was full-on dog shit stuck to a horse's penis.

I didn't think it was that bad.

I mean, we were having fun, right?

I'm surprised you guys didn't pee your pants

because that's how little control you had

over your bodies.

The performance is tomorrow.

Does everyone understand K-pop is a big swing?

Come on, Chad.

Let's do it again.

5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13.

Stop! Stop, stop.

Peter, what was that?

That was a body roll.

Oh, my God, he thinks that was a body...

I need you to show up, Peter.

Have you even been practicing?

Of course I have.

All I do is practice this and work on my Gundam robot.

I'm taking that away from you.

-What? -I'm taking it away from you.

-You're distracted. -No, no, no, no, no!

Chad, I'm so close to finishing it.

Please, it's not Little Peter's fault.

You named him Little Peter?

Wha-- That's so weird!

-He's not your little son! -So hectic.

Stop, the glue's still drying!

Chad, you're gonna --

Sorry. I'll put -- help put him back together.

Just leave it, Chad.

You've touched him enough.

Chad, you're taking this way too far.

You're being a jerk.

Here we go.

Denise is being a hater.

Very surprising turn of events -- not.

Right, guys? Not.

Right, Kevin?

I mean, I hesitate to engage with you,

but you are being wack.

How could you pop off at me like that

after everything we've been through together?

As a founding member of the Asian Appreciation Club,

I'm calling an emergency vote.

All those in favor of kicking Chad out of the club.

♪

Well, I'm really sorry you guys feel that way.

But guess what, I'm gonna do this concert

with or without you.

I don't even care if it's a one-man show.

Watch me rep this damn culture all by my damn self.

Sayonara, bitches.

[ Crunch ]

♪

Dear God or Allah or little baby Jesus or whatever,

I've never really prayed before, but figured

I'd give it a try since

I'm so scared about tomorrow's performance.

Chaddy joon.

You're praying?

Just figured it couldn't hurt.

You want to know what I think God is?

-What? -I think God is just love.

Okay, I don't really know what to do with that.

I'm just not sure how random-ass love

is gonna save me from this performance tomorrow.

Well, that is why you have your friends

going up there with you --

to have your back, lift you up, to keep you from eating shit.

What? What do you mean?

Oh, my God, Chad,

when I was your age, I ate so much shit.

I thought I was this hotshot little man boy who knew it all.

But I was wrong.

Without friends, you're basically

a lonely little street rat eating shit left

and right -- breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner.

You're a shit-eating machine.

You're a shit-eating machine?

Man, if it was just you up there on this stage,

[chuckles] goddamn, that would be depressing.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ]

You -- Just you alone, freaking out.

[ Laughs ]

I -- Don't even think about it.

♪

I don't want to eat shit.

♪

[ Shofar sounding ]

Te-ki-yaaah!

[ Applause ]

Charles: Yes. Let's give it up for little Bobby Padnik,

who is bringing the High Holy Days to Westpark High, right?

Dare I say...

Shofar, so good.

We got your text, Chad.

What do you want?

You know, they say sorry is the hardest word.

Well, guess what.

I'm brave then, because I'm sorry.

I'm hanging by a thread, begging you for forgiveness.

Please, please forgive me so we can perform together.

It's all I'll ever ask of you, and I promise

I won't F-up again.

Denise, I'm sorry I called you a half-Polish loser.

I don't remember you saying those exact words, but --

Well, I definitely did.

I-I honestly went out of my way to do it.

Multiple times.

Don't you have someone you owe an extra apology to?

Kevin, brosef, my main man --

I'm talking about Peter.

Peter, Peter pumpkin eater.

Man, we've been through a lot together.

I'm so sorry I completely murdered your beautiful robot.

Little Peter was an absolute gem,

and it would be my honor to buy you a new Little Peter.

Thank you for remembering his name, but he was $500.

Let's put a pin in that.

I love you so much.

-Okay. -Guys, I am so sorry,

and I'm trying to be vulnerable as hell right now,

standing before you as a little boy in a floral blouse

just straight-up holding my dick in my hands.

So what do you say?

Let's blow the roof off this gymnasium and do our dance!

Please, Denise.

Please. I mean, we did practice extremely hard.

Up next, Asian Appreciation Club with a tribute to K-pop.

[ Applause ]

♪

Man: Hey!

♪

♪ Dramarama♪

♪

Ow!

[ Singing in Korean]

♪

♪ No way, not funny♪

[ Singing in Korean]

♪

♪ Dramama Ramama Ramama, hey♪

♪ Hey♪

[ Singing in Korean]

♪

Chad: ♪ Dramarama, dramarama

♪ Dramama dramama mamama

♪ And 5, 6, mama, 6, mamamama

♪ Dramam-- Ramama

[ Applause ]

-That was awesome. -Crushed it.

Really did. I was like... And then you were like, "Aah!"

And then Peter was like, "Ah!"

And the girls were also in it. -We got to celebrate.

How about we grab some Boba and hang out at my place?

Hell yeah! Kevin, you in?

Yeah. Kevin's in!

Oh, my God, yeah!

Chad, come here. [ Laughing ]

What? Oh, I'll be right [clears throat] right back.

Chad, that dance thing was freaking hilarious.

You had me cracking up. Way to make fun of the assembly.

You bodied that shit.

I was supposed to be funny,

so that's good that that's what that was to you.

But seriously, dude, you're really freaking funny.

You should write memes.

Thanks, I'll try to immediately.

Uh, do you like tacos?

We're gonna go make a Del run.

Uh, I love tacos. [ Chuckles ]

Okay, cool, let's bounce.

Okay, I'm coming with you.

Chad, I thought we were gonna grab some Boba.

I...

just have to eat tacos.

Okay, Chad. Have a super night.

We'll miss you.

Hey, Reid, wait up!

Yeah, that makes sense.

♪

Reid, wait up!

Reid: Tacos! Tacos!

Tacos! Tacos!

[ Sighs ]

You guys, you're never gonna believe it!

I changed my mind!

[ Singing in Korean ]

♪

♪

♪

♪ Dramarama

♪ Dramama Ramama Ramama, hey

[ Singing in Korean ]

♪ Dramarama

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0