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2
00:01:37,085 --> 00:01:37,985
That wasn't a store robbery.
3
00:01:39,986 --> 00:01:42,085
That was an assassination.
4
00:01:42,087 --> 00:01:45,319
That wasn't a clerk.
That was a wise guy.
5
00:01:45,321 --> 00:01:48,754
How do I know?
6
00:01:48,756 --> 00:01:52,355
I spent a little time with the FBI's organized crime unit.
7
00:01:52,357 --> 00:01:54,756
I guess you could say that
I'm intimately knowledgeable
8
00:01:54,758 --> 00:01:56,857
with the seedy and rancorous
workings of the mob
9
00:01:56,859 --> 00:01:59,425
in the Midwest
section of this country.
10
00:01:59,427 --> 00:02:01,592
I know a gangland
slaying when I see one,
11
00:02:01,594 --> 00:02:03,727
and that's exactly
what this baby is.
12
00:02:03,729 --> 00:02:07,528
I'd look into it myself personally,
but I got a date tonight.
13
00:02:07,530 --> 00:02:10,263
Think I'll takethe private jet out
14
00:02:10,265 --> 00:02:13,064
and fly to Spain,pick up the little lady.
15
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:15,864
Do the subsonic tummy
bump at 30,000 feet.
16
00:02:15,866 --> 00:02:18,665
Then glide back into the U.S.
of A. By dawn.
17
00:02:18,667 --> 00:02:23,266
I know what you're gonna say,
"Jim. Jim Dodge, settle down.
18
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:25,600
"Relax. You owe it toyourself."
19
00:02:25,602 --> 00:02:27,767
I'll tell you what I
tell everybody else.
20
00:02:27,769 --> 00:02:31,769
Any little Fraulein that
expects anything more from me
21
00:02:31,771 --> 00:02:33,403
than a little bit of pleasure
and a little bit of danger
22
00:02:33,405 --> 00:02:35,670
and a great set of pectorals,
23
00:02:35,672 --> 00:02:37,604
she's looking for
a fall right on her ass.
24
00:02:42,341 --> 00:02:44,340
Hubie, Hubie, Hubie, Hubie!
25
00:02:44,342 --> 00:02:46,341
Get out of here!
Let me tell you something.
26
00:02:46,343 --> 00:02:48,975
If you know what's good for you,
don't you ever come back!
27
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,576
Wait a minute, now, Hubie.
28
00:02:51,578 --> 00:02:53,877
You're not gonna find someone who
has the relationship with those animals
29
00:02:53,879 --> 00:02:55,577
that I do.
30
00:02:55,579 --> 00:02:58,278
Listen to the dogs, Hubie.
They love me!
31
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:03,013
It all started when I was 15.
32
00:03:03,015 --> 00:03:06,048
That's when I invented
the artificial cow heart.
33
00:03:06,050 --> 00:03:08,716
Oh, that was a big thing.
34
00:03:08,718 --> 00:03:12,017
A little before your time,
but it made all the newspapers,
35
00:03:12,019 --> 00:03:14,685
ABC, NBC, CBS,
they all picked up on it,
36
00:03:14,687 --> 00:03:18,020
but it's more or less
a hobby for me, boys.
37
00:03:18,955 --> 00:03:21,254
Scoot over!
38
00:03:21,256 --> 00:03:23,588
Actually,
39
00:03:24,791 --> 00:03:28,557
today I decided that I've gone
just about as far I can go
40
00:03:28,559 --> 00:03:30,758
in the animal
health-care business.
41
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:34,026
But that's your question.
The reason that I'm not at work this afternoon,
42
00:03:34,028 --> 00:03:38,795
is because I was made an offer that I simply cannot refuse.
I sold.
43
00:03:38,797 --> 00:03:40,562
Whatcha gonna do
with the cash, Jim?
44
00:03:40,564 --> 00:03:42,529
I don't know. Maybe
I'll invest it overseas.
45
00:03:42,531 --> 00:03:44,563
I've got some projects
in eastern Europe right now.
46
00:03:44,565 --> 00:03:46,363
I don't know. I've got
everything a man needs.
47
00:03:46,365 --> 00:03:49,398
Jim, you just bought
the animal hospital.
48
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,098
How come you sold it so fast?
49
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,199
Tax problem.
50
00:03:56,201 --> 00:03:58,567
And here's my
accountant right now.
51
00:03:58,569 --> 00:04:00,968
Earl, take a bow.
52
00:04:00,970 --> 00:04:04,236
20 minutes for lunch, okay?
Go buy another suit.
53
00:04:04,238 --> 00:04:06,403
He works for me.
54
00:04:06,405 --> 00:04:08,737
He's scouting some
real estate for me right now.
55
00:04:08,739 --> 00:04:11,271
Yeah,
but the market's real tight.
56
00:04:14,207 --> 00:04:16,505
I like the new uniform,
Lorraine.
57
00:04:18,975 --> 00:04:21,240
You know, with
the right shoes and handbag,
58
00:04:21,242 --> 00:04:23,474
that might be suitable
for a cocktail party.
59
00:04:24,043 --> 00:04:26,475
So... Question.
60
00:04:26,477 --> 00:04:29,944
When in the world are you going to start serving sashimi?
61
00:04:29,946 --> 00:04:31,978
Maybe when I
find out what it is.
62
00:04:33,113 --> 00:04:36,879
You've
never heard of sashimi?
63
00:04:36,881 --> 00:04:39,080
You've got to be kidding.
64
00:04:39,082 --> 00:04:42,381
It's this special
Japanese fish you eat raw.
65
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,949
With a little butter sauce,
66
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:47,050
and you're ready
to go to heaven.
67
00:04:47,052 --> 00:04:52,086
I'd hire you in a minute if I hadn't already fired you so many times.
68
00:04:52,088 --> 00:04:54,787
Did you ever
think of leaving town?
69
00:04:55,922 --> 00:04:59,222
Thousands of people
over in St. Louis...
70
00:04:59,224 --> 00:05:02,390
Got no idea how
full of shit you are.
71
00:05:04,226 --> 00:05:07,725
You've been alive for
21 years, my friend.
72
00:05:07,727 --> 00:05:11,959
Plenty of time for most people to find a place for themselves.
73
00:05:13,395 --> 00:05:16,061
Well,
I'm not like everybody else.
74
00:05:16,063 --> 00:05:18,629
You know what I'm saying?
75
00:05:18,631 --> 00:05:20,796
Yeah, that's for sure.
76
00:05:23,266 --> 00:05:25,565
How about if I...
77
00:05:25,567 --> 00:05:27,799
I work for you for free?
78
00:05:29,735 --> 00:05:32,167
No.
79
00:05:32,169 --> 00:05:34,701
I'm afraid not, Jimmy.
80
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:38,067
Think about St. Louis.
81
00:05:39,603 --> 00:05:41,134
Hey, Josie.
- Hi.
82
00:05:41,136 --> 00:05:42,400
Fill her up?
83
00:05:42,402 --> 00:05:43,634
Fill her up.
84
00:06:02,913 --> 00:06:04,811
How you doin'?
85
00:06:21,587 --> 00:06:23,419
You got fired again,
didn't you? Didn't you?
86
00:06:23,421 --> 00:06:25,119
Yeah.
87
00:06:25,121 --> 00:06:26,486
Who told you that?
88
00:06:26,488 --> 00:06:28,920
Hubie Marshall
called me at work.
89
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:31,087
He called you at work?
90
00:06:31,089 --> 00:06:34,922
That's it. Okay, I'm gonna...
I'll speak... What'd he say?
91
00:06:34,924 --> 00:06:37,757
He said he fired ya!
92
00:06:37,759 --> 00:06:40,125
He said that?
And you believed him?
93
00:06:40,127 --> 00:06:41,959
Damn straight I do!
94
00:06:41,961 --> 00:06:46,928
With all due respect, Dad, you're Mr.
Gullible, sometimes.
95
00:06:46,930 --> 00:06:49,162
The truth of the matter is,
Dad, I resigned.
96
00:06:50,097 --> 00:06:51,262
I'll tell you
something else, Dad.
97
00:06:51,264 --> 00:06:52,295
Shut up, Jimmy!
98
00:06:52,297 --> 00:06:54,496
When I took the job,
I had no idea
99
00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:57,531
it was gonna be
a hire-fire situation.
100
00:06:57,533 --> 00:06:59,999
Luther Betenhauser's boy
is doing much better.
101
00:07:00,001 --> 00:07:01,299
What's wrong with him?
102
00:07:01,301 --> 00:07:02,600
Fell off his
grandfather's silo.
103
00:07:02,602 --> 00:07:03,933
He's got brain damage.
104
00:07:03,935 --> 00:07:05,167
He does not.
105
00:07:05,169 --> 00:07:06,800
He does, too.
106
00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:08,600
Hoover Fey says his
tongue's gonna hang out
107
00:07:08,602 --> 00:07:10,301
the side of his mouth
the rest of his life.
108
00:07:10,303 --> 00:07:12,101
And when he dies
and they bury him,
109
00:07:12,103 --> 00:07:14,435
at the funeral they're
gonna put a mask on him.
110
00:07:14,437 --> 00:07:16,869
Do I have to listen to
this while I'm eating?
111
00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:19,570
Let's talk about
something else.
112
00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:27,139
Josie McClellan
moved to New York.
113
00:07:27,141 --> 00:07:30,107
She did not. I saw her today.
114
00:07:30,109 --> 00:07:32,108
Well,
I don't know how you could.
115
00:07:32,110 --> 00:07:35,043
I heard at the bank that she got tired of taking care of her father,
116
00:07:35,045 --> 00:07:36,810
and she told him
to jump in a lake,
117
00:07:36,812 --> 00:07:39,878
and then she left for New York to get her MBA in high-fashion design
118
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,546
at the University
of New York City.
119
00:07:42,548 --> 00:07:46,313
I just saw her down at the gas station in living color.
120
00:07:46,315 --> 00:07:48,947
We had a cup of java together.
121
00:07:48,949 --> 00:07:53,015
Well, I'm gonna take Lou Selby's word over yours any day.
122
00:07:53,017 --> 00:07:56,784
Lou Selby.
Lou Selby's a drunk.
123
00:07:56,786 --> 00:07:59,551
You know, for a guy who's just
lost his umpteenth job,
124
00:07:59,553 --> 00:08:01,518
you sure are handy
with the tongue sword.
125
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,620
You got canned again?
126
00:08:03,622 --> 00:08:05,621
Well, he didn't get canned.
127
00:08:06,556 --> 00:08:07,721
He got fired.
128
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,921
That's gotta be
some kind of a record.
129
00:08:15,325 --> 00:08:17,290
Not only are you
an obnoxious slug,
130
00:08:17,292 --> 00:08:20,058
but you're
a freeloading obnoxious slug.
131
00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:21,958
Well, you should talk.
132
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,192
What are you?
In your mid-forties and still living at home.
133
00:08:25,494 --> 00:08:28,360
I'm 24, and I pay rent.
134
00:08:28,895 --> 00:08:30,059
So do I.
135
00:08:30,061 --> 00:08:31,193
You did pay rent.
136
00:08:31,961 --> 00:08:35,460
Dad, you mean
you're cutting my rent?
137
00:08:35,462 --> 00:08:37,527
Hell, no!
138
00:08:37,529 --> 00:08:39,294
You're not paying a rent
'cause you don't have a job
139
00:08:39,296 --> 00:08:40,895
and you don't have any money.
140
00:08:40,897 --> 00:08:43,595
You're out of school and you live in this house,
you pay rent!
141
00:09:03,141 --> 00:09:05,707
Jim! Yo, Jim!
142
00:09:05,709 --> 00:09:07,741
Jim, wake up!
143
00:09:07,743 --> 00:09:10,076
Hey, get up!
144
00:09:12,479 --> 00:09:14,377
Get up!
145
00:09:18,814 --> 00:09:21,947
You know, getting this job,
146
00:09:21,949 --> 00:09:24,081
restoring your
faith and pride in me
147
00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:26,148
is a number-one
priority right now, Dad.
148
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:29,517
Priority ought to be making
something of yourself.
149
00:09:29,519 --> 00:09:31,251
That's right up there.
150
00:09:31,253 --> 00:09:35,485
When I was your age,
I couldn't wait to get out of my folks' house.
151
00:09:37,354 --> 00:09:38,986
I love living at home.
152
00:09:49,626 --> 00:09:53,024
I don't think this is such a great place for me to work, Dad.
153
00:09:55,660 --> 00:09:57,326
Okay,
154
00:09:57,328 --> 00:10:00,527
say I don't get this job,
hypothetically.
155
00:10:01,162 --> 00:10:02,693
Are you gonna be upset?
156
00:10:02,695 --> 00:10:06,094
You don't get this job,
you're on a bus to St. Louis.
157
00:10:06,096 --> 00:10:07,861
St. Louis?
158
00:10:07,863 --> 00:10:10,596
Uncle Jeff's offered to put you to work in his garden shop.
159
00:10:10,598 --> 00:10:12,496
I don't know
anything about gardening.
160
00:10:12,498 --> 00:10:14,930
You will learn!
161
00:10:14,932 --> 00:10:18,299
I'm getting a distinct feeling that you want me out of your life.
162
00:10:18,301 --> 00:10:21,332
I don't want you out of my life.
I want you out of my house.
163
00:10:23,201 --> 00:10:24,833
Wow.
Out!
164
00:10:24,835 --> 00:10:26,667
Okay, okay, okay.
165
00:10:42,610 --> 00:10:45,376
Are you sure I can't offer you a coffee and a bear claw?
166
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,943
No, thanks.
167
00:10:46,945 --> 00:10:48,678
They're very good,
they're fresh.
168
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,445
No, I'm fine.
169
00:10:50,447 --> 00:10:52,212
You don't want one,
and I don't need one.
170
00:10:53,881 --> 00:10:55,213
Right!
171
00:10:55,215 --> 00:10:57,013
I love the darn things,
though, I tell you.
172
00:10:57,015 --> 00:10:59,314
You know, I got a sweet tooth,
I could eat those things by the dozen.
173
00:10:59,316 --> 00:11:01,014
By the looks of it, I have.
174
00:11:01,016 --> 00:11:02,647
Right.
175
00:11:02,649 --> 00:11:06,316
I tell ya, I'm so excited
that you're considering
176
00:11:06,318 --> 00:11:08,850
joining the Target team.
We all are.
177
00:11:10,219 --> 00:11:11,785
I appreciate that.
178
00:11:11,787 --> 00:11:15,286
Good, then, let's cut
right to the chase, shall we?
179
00:11:16,455 --> 00:11:19,854
We're prepared to
offer you $42,500 a year,
180
00:11:19,856 --> 00:11:22,021
with a full benefit package.
181
00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:24,788
That's dental, medical,
182
00:11:24,790 --> 00:11:26,889
profit sharing, pension,
183
00:11:26,891 --> 00:11:29,724
expense account,
car allowance,
184
00:11:29,726 --> 00:11:31,658
vacation, of course,
185
00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:35,027
and any and all
relocating expenses.
186
00:11:35,029 --> 00:11:39,562
This is our first, best,
and last offer. What do you think?
187
00:11:40,530 --> 00:11:42,362
Well...
188
00:11:42,364 --> 00:11:45,564
C.D., with all due respect,
189
00:11:45,566 --> 00:11:47,298
I came in here
190
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:50,199
with the number 45
in my mind, and...
191
00:12:07,974 --> 00:12:09,139
Hmm.
192
00:12:12,309 --> 00:12:14,840
You've got me.
193
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,474
45 it is.
194
00:12:18,977 --> 00:12:20,375
Welcome aboard.
195
00:12:20,377 --> 00:12:21,808
Thank you.
196
00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:22,975
I'd like to buy you lunch.
197
00:12:22,977 --> 00:12:24,375
No, no, no.
198
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,542
Your money's no good here.
Lunch is mine, all right?
199
00:12:26,544 --> 00:12:28,043
I'm not going to
argue with you.
200
00:12:28,045 --> 00:12:29,510
You better not.
I'm bigger than you are.
201
00:12:31,012 --> 00:12:32,978
Hang on a second, will you?
I told her to hold my calls.
202
00:12:32,980 --> 00:12:34,511
Get it.
203
00:12:34,513 --> 00:12:36,044
Yeah, Peg. Uh-huh.
204
00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:39,646
No, it's okay.
205
00:12:39,648 --> 00:12:41,179
No, he's right here
with me now.
206
00:12:41,181 --> 00:12:42,679
Hi, Peg.
207
00:12:42,681 --> 00:12:44,980
We just closed the deal.
Uh-huh.
208
00:12:44,982 --> 00:12:49,215
Oh, it was a slam-dunk, too.
I got him for 45.
209
00:12:54,352 --> 00:12:56,218
No, he's right here.
210
00:12:57,687 --> 00:13:00,385
What do you mean,
he missed the plane?
211
00:13:02,855 --> 00:13:05,120
Then who the hell
am I talking to?
212
00:13:07,022 --> 00:13:09,054
Oh, Lord!
213
00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:14,055
I'll, uh...
I'll get back to you.
214
00:13:15,590 --> 00:13:17,388
Hey, I know a great
little Italian place
215
00:13:17,390 --> 00:13:20,323
that has the best
pasta primatonis in the...
216
00:13:20,325 --> 00:13:22,157
Excuse me a minute,
will you, please?
217
00:13:22,159 --> 00:13:23,591
Lovely wife you have there.
218
00:13:23,593 --> 00:13:24,991
Dodge, James?
219
00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:26,924
Mmm-hmm.
220
00:13:29,660 --> 00:13:32,393
James, I'm afraid we have a little misunderstanding here.
221
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:35,061
You see, I thought you
came in for the, uh...
222
00:13:35,063 --> 00:13:38,395
Operations Manager's job.
223
00:13:38,397 --> 00:13:40,896
I have you down here
as night cleanup boy.
224
00:13:44,233 --> 00:13:46,031
Well, I'm a little overpaid
225
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:48,932
for night cleanup boy,
wouldn't you say, C.D.?
226
00:13:50,668 --> 00:13:54,201
The truth is, James,
I can offer you $4.44 per hour.
227
00:13:57,737 --> 00:14:01,203
Uh, four, four... $4.44...
228
00:14:01,205 --> 00:14:03,003
$4.44.
229
00:14:03,005 --> 00:14:04,937
What about the benefits?
230
00:14:04,939 --> 00:14:07,338
Two fifteen-minute breaks
and a half hour for lunch.
231
00:14:08,707 --> 00:14:12,574
And the title is,
uh, night cleanup boy?
232
00:14:13,275 --> 00:14:14,573
Yes.
233
00:14:17,076 --> 00:14:18,874
I'll take it.
234
00:14:18,876 --> 00:14:21,008
Oh, and, uh, lose the curl.
235
00:14:22,543 --> 00:14:24,643
Welcome to the Target team.
Thank you.
236
00:14:26,345 --> 00:14:29,610
So the parrot says,
"Of course, I can talk. Can you fly?"
237
00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:38,013
I don't want any damn Japanese
automobile plant in this town.
238
00:14:40,850 --> 00:14:42,849
It means jobs.
239
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,949
I don't need a job.
240
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:49,017
Your governor's tryin' to use
my town as a political chip.
241
00:14:49,019 --> 00:14:50,751
Gentlemen, I resent that.
242
00:14:50,753 --> 00:14:54,653
Well, there could be some specific benefits for you personally.
243
00:14:58,589 --> 00:15:00,453
Josie!
244
00:15:03,223 --> 00:15:05,222
Yeah?
Come here.
245
00:15:05,224 --> 00:15:08,423
I want you to meet these gentlemen from the governor's office.
246
00:15:09,591 --> 00:15:11,756
Come on in here, honey.
247
00:15:28,265 --> 00:15:29,631
Honey, I want you
to meet Bill, uh...
248
00:15:29,633 --> 00:15:30,964
Uh, Bob.
249
00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:33,932
Uh, Bob Bosenbeck.
250
00:15:37,267 --> 00:15:38,432
Bob.
251
00:15:54,374 --> 00:15:55,606
Dave.
252
00:15:58,743 --> 00:16:01,042
My pleasure, Dave.
253
00:16:02,978 --> 00:16:04,743
Right.
Dave Hockner.
254
00:16:06,146 --> 00:16:08,979
I don't want to
interrupt your meeting.
255
00:16:08,981 --> 00:16:11,080
Very nice to meet both of you.
256
00:16:11,382 --> 00:16:13,147
Bye.
257
00:16:13,149 --> 00:16:14,814
Bye.
258
00:16:19,652 --> 00:16:21,450
Josie?
259
00:16:22,853 --> 00:16:24,418
Josie!
260
00:16:31,988 --> 00:16:35,220
You pull another
stunt like you did today,
261
00:16:35,222 --> 00:16:38,055
I'll beat the livin'
daylights outta you!
262
00:16:59,332 --> 00:17:00,496
All right, out!
263
00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:07,599
Out of here, man.
Get out of here!
264
00:17:07,601 --> 00:17:08,733
Get out of the car!
265
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:30,571
Right on time!
266
00:17:33,942 --> 00:17:35,840
Everything's going as planned.
267
00:17:37,009 --> 00:17:38,240
You ordered a limousine?
268
00:17:39,676 --> 00:17:41,808
Of course.
269
00:17:42,609 --> 00:17:44,008
My first day at work.
270
00:17:44,010 --> 00:17:47,075
How's it gonna look
if my dad drives me?
271
00:17:47,077 --> 00:17:49,176
A little treat to
myself for getting the job.
272
00:17:49,178 --> 00:17:51,077
It was only 50 bucks.
273
00:17:53,579 --> 00:17:54,910
Right on time, Henry.
274
00:17:54,912 --> 00:17:56,577
Yes, sir.
275
00:17:56,579 --> 00:17:58,345
Henry, the sign...
276
00:17:58,347 --> 00:18:00,012
Very well, sir.
277
00:18:03,347 --> 00:18:05,412
Ciao!
278
00:18:11,917 --> 00:18:14,416
Hey, Jim, where are you going?
279
00:18:15,284 --> 00:18:17,850
Hello, boys.
280
00:18:17,852 --> 00:18:20,284
Going to Paris on an F-14.
281
00:18:20,286 --> 00:18:23,185
Got a little peace meeting with the Vice-President of Bulgaria.
282
00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:26,020
Business, you know?
Then I'm going to Venice,
283
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:28,687
for a big spaghetti dinner
with the princess of Austria.
284
00:18:28,689 --> 00:18:31,355
A beautiful lady...
Really big bones.
285
00:18:31,357 --> 00:18:34,123
Remember to brush
your teeth, Melvin!
286
00:18:34,125 --> 00:18:37,358
You, too, Sidney! Adios!
287
00:18:39,461 --> 00:18:41,827
Jim is so cool!
288
00:20:11,445 --> 00:20:12,461
Bobby.
289
00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:13,477
Got a loose tile here.
First thing in the morning,
290
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:15,945
I want you to take some epoxy cement and take care of this.
291
00:20:15,947 --> 00:20:18,079
I don't need a lawsuit, okay?
292
00:20:18,081 --> 00:20:20,580
I've got
enough to worry about.
293
00:20:22,283 --> 00:20:23,581
Who's he?
294
00:20:23,583 --> 00:20:25,181
Attention shoppers.
295
00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:27,016
The store will beclosing in five minutes.
296
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:30,317
Please bring all your purchases to the front.Thank you.
297
00:21:09,140 --> 00:21:10,372
Are you a slacker?
298
00:21:11,307 --> 00:21:14,540
Uh... No, uh, Presbyterian.
299
00:21:14,542 --> 00:21:16,841
What did you say?
What did you say?
300
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,942
I'm askin' you
a simple question.
301
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,176
Are you lazy?
No, sir.
302
00:21:21,178 --> 00:21:23,510
'Cause the last guy that wore that uniform was a lazy slacker,
303
00:21:23,512 --> 00:21:25,344
and I fired his no-good butt.
304
00:21:26,714 --> 00:21:29,480
Uh... About the uniform,
305
00:21:29,482 --> 00:21:31,113
will I be getting my own?
306
00:21:31,115 --> 00:21:33,547
You work out,
which I doubt,
307
00:21:33,549 --> 00:21:35,281
you can have
yourself a new name patch.
308
00:21:40,351 --> 00:21:42,983
Eh, uh... Would I be
able to have it laundered?
309
00:21:42,985 --> 00:21:44,950
It smells a little bit
like Darnell.
310
00:21:44,952 --> 00:21:47,952
I don't think you know
who you're messin' with, boy.
311
00:21:47,954 --> 00:21:50,453
Right, after you clean the ladies' and men's crappers,
312
00:21:50,455 --> 00:21:52,620
I'm talking about you'd better be able to eat off those bowls.
313
00:21:52,622 --> 00:21:54,454
Oh, sure.
You clean my coffeemaker,
314
00:21:54,456 --> 00:21:56,021
then you wax my desk.
315
00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:58,288
Uh, clean what?
316
00:21:58,290 --> 00:22:00,022
You clean my
coffeemaker and wax my desk!
317
00:22:00,024 --> 00:22:02,057
I got it!
318
00:22:02,059 --> 00:22:04,291
You, uh, sweep the aisles,
startin' with health and beauty,
319
00:22:04,293 --> 00:22:06,158
and you work your way over
to juniors and misses.
320
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,126
Ups and downs, leaving your
debris in the cross aisles.
321
00:22:09,128 --> 00:22:10,292
So I start with
health and beauty...
322
00:22:10,294 --> 00:22:11,625
What did I just say?
323
00:22:11,627 --> 00:22:13,660
I just said to start
with health and beauty, okay?
324
00:22:13,662 --> 00:22:15,293
Then you do your cross aisles.
325
00:22:15,295 --> 00:22:17,127
That'll bring your
dustbin into play.
326
00:22:17,129 --> 00:22:19,394
You take the debris.
You load it into the dustbin.
327
00:22:19,396 --> 00:22:22,295
You take the dustbin out
to the loading dock area
328
00:22:22,297 --> 00:22:24,195
and you empty it
into the receptacle.
329
00:22:24,197 --> 00:22:25,496
You got that? Easy as pie.
330
00:22:25,498 --> 00:22:27,129
Yeah.
331
00:22:27,131 --> 00:22:29,130
Now, I was employed for a brief period at Del Taco, and...
332
00:22:29,132 --> 00:22:31,965
I don't care about your
Del Taco experiences, boy.
333
00:22:31,967 --> 00:22:34,466
All right.
Now, we've got this little problem in this store with grazers.
334
00:22:34,468 --> 00:22:36,233
You know what
a grazer is, boy?
335
00:22:36,235 --> 00:22:38,467
Is that some
sort of farm term?
336
00:22:38,469 --> 00:22:40,234
A grazer is
a customer or an employee
337
00:22:40,236 --> 00:22:41,968
that eats off the shelves,
okay?
338
00:22:41,970 --> 00:22:44,803
Sort of similar to a cow grazing in a field of grass.
339
00:22:44,805 --> 00:22:47,404
Only this isn't a field of grass, okay,
and you're not a cow.
340
00:22:47,406 --> 00:22:50,038
There's no eatin'.
You're not being paid to eat, so don't!
341
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:51,505
You got any questions?
342
00:22:51,507 --> 00:22:52,906
Not right offhand, no.
343
00:22:52,908 --> 00:22:54,406
You think you can handle it?
344
00:22:54,408 --> 00:22:55,839
Oh, I'll give it
the old college try.
345
00:22:55,841 --> 00:22:57,440
Don't touch me!
346
00:22:58,375 --> 00:23:00,807
Well,
despite our age difference,
347
00:23:00,809 --> 00:23:02,475
I think I'm really gonna
enjoy working with you.
348
00:23:02,477 --> 00:23:04,676
Let's get something straight, boy.
You ain't workin' with me.
349
00:23:04,678 --> 00:23:06,643
You're working for me.
350
00:23:06,645 --> 00:23:09,311
Still, I think it's gonna be fun being around you.
351
00:23:09,313 --> 00:23:10,878
Yeah, I ain't gonna
be anywhere near you.
352
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,379
I'm gonna be home pumping the pasties out of Colleen Jackson.
353
00:23:13,381 --> 00:23:14,812
You're not going to be here?
354
00:23:14,814 --> 00:23:16,146
Hell, no.
355
00:23:17,748 --> 00:23:21,414
I'm gonna be here by myself?
356
00:23:21,416 --> 00:23:25,149
Yeah, that's right!
And you'd better stay out of the ladies' undergoods.
357
00:23:26,684 --> 00:23:30,051
Wait a minute.
Nobody told me I'd be here alone.
358
00:23:30,053 --> 00:23:31,484
What are you doing?
359
00:23:31,486 --> 00:23:32,852
Saving money.
360
00:23:32,854 --> 00:23:34,819
Wait a minute. Are you
turning off the lights?
361
00:23:34,821 --> 00:23:37,320
In 25 seconds, you got light
in every third aisle.
362
00:23:37,322 --> 00:23:38,553
When the sun
comes up, you turn off
363
00:23:38,555 --> 00:23:39,754
all the lights.
You understand?
364
00:23:40,689 --> 00:23:43,655
No, I don't understand.
Just hold on a second!
365
00:23:43,657 --> 00:23:45,422
I'm locking you in.
366
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:48,790
When I come back at 7:00 to open up,
I'll let you out.
367
00:23:51,059 --> 00:23:53,058
You're locking me in?
368
00:23:53,060 --> 00:23:54,658
What do you take
me for, a fool?
369
00:23:54,660 --> 00:23:58,160
Nobody gets a set of keys
on their first night. Nobody!
370
00:23:58,162 --> 00:24:00,127
Now, get to work!
371
00:24:00,662 --> 00:24:02,060
What if there's a fire?
372
00:24:02,062 --> 00:24:03,427
Then the fire
department will come.
373
00:24:04,096 --> 00:24:05,394
I could perish!
374
00:24:05,396 --> 00:24:06,862
Boo!
375
00:24:06,864 --> 00:24:10,363
You can't do this.
I'm locked in, alone, in the dark.
376
00:24:10,365 --> 00:24:12,430
That was not a part
of my employment agreement.
377
00:25:25,206 --> 00:25:26,305
Ah!
378
00:26:30,107 --> 00:26:32,138
9:17?
379
00:26:33,774 --> 00:26:36,472
Time for a break.
380
00:27:02,087 --> 00:27:03,485
Hello.
381
00:27:05,754 --> 00:27:07,385
Anybody out there?
382
00:27:07,387 --> 00:27:09,352
When I accepted the...
383
00:27:09,354 --> 00:27:12,620
The post of President,grand Pooh-Bah of Target,
384
00:27:14,422 --> 00:27:16,988
realizing that I have brought
385
00:27:18,057 --> 00:27:20,456
meaningfulness andpeace and happiness,
386
00:27:20,458 --> 00:27:22,823
into the lives ofthousands of people.
387
00:27:23,525 --> 00:27:26,191
Jim Dodge, of Monroe,
388
00:27:26,193 --> 00:27:28,192
top moneymaker on the tour.
389
00:27:28,194 --> 00:27:30,693
His father's here today,
Bud Dodge,
390
00:27:30,695 --> 00:27:32,560
and sister Penny,
a sad, sad story,
391
00:27:32,562 --> 00:27:35,695
was just admitted to
university hospital.
392
00:27:35,697 --> 00:27:39,530
While trying to pop a zit,
her head mysteriously exploded.
393
00:28:03,907 --> 00:28:05,605
Dad! Hi!
394
00:28:05,607 --> 00:28:07,539
Jim,
do you know what time it is?
395
00:28:07,541 --> 00:28:11,408
You know,
I'm starting to think about Christmas and gifts,
396
00:28:11,410 --> 00:28:14,875
because I'm in a big store and I'm starting to get a lot of gift ideas.
397
00:28:14,877 --> 00:28:16,209
Hi.
398
00:28:16,211 --> 00:28:17,742
Mom, hi!
399
00:28:17,744 --> 00:28:19,709
How's it going?
400
00:28:19,711 --> 00:28:22,877
Well, I finished all my janitor stuff,
I've finished most of it.
401
00:28:22,879 --> 00:28:24,744
I've got to save
some stuff for later.
402
00:28:24,746 --> 00:28:26,811
But it's easy as hell.
403
00:28:26,813 --> 00:28:29,546
Um, honey, it's a little late.
404
00:28:29,548 --> 00:28:32,647
Yeah, it is kind of late.
Well, sleep tight.
405
00:28:33,983 --> 00:28:36,082
See you in the morning.
406
00:28:36,084 --> 00:28:37,649
Love you, too.
407
00:28:42,886 --> 00:28:45,051
Mr. James Dodge!
408
00:29:40,850 --> 00:29:43,983
Oh. He can't be happy
as the night cleanup boy.
409
00:29:45,819 --> 00:29:47,551
Sweetheart...
410
00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:51,085
He wants us to
call him a janitor.
411
00:29:53,588 --> 00:29:57,854
Maybe I should have spent less time harping and more time helping.
412
00:29:58,755 --> 00:30:01,154
Harpin' and helpin' him what?
413
00:30:02,357 --> 00:30:06,590
Harpin' on him to leave,
and helpin' him become the...
414
00:30:06,592 --> 00:30:09,692
Good, mature,
productive person he could be.
415
00:31:39,809 --> 00:31:41,541
Are you all right?
416
00:31:43,210 --> 00:31:45,076
Yes, I'm fine, thanks.
417
00:31:45,078 --> 00:31:46,142
And you?
418
00:31:47,744 --> 00:31:49,210
What are you doing here?
419
00:31:50,812 --> 00:31:53,144
I work here.
420
00:31:53,146 --> 00:31:55,078
Have a good one, Officer Don.
421
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:59,046
Okay, Carl. Keep in touch.
Let me know if you hear anything.
422
00:31:59,048 --> 00:32:00,613
You bet.
423
00:32:02,515 --> 00:32:04,847
Well, sir,
she didn't leave on the bus.
424
00:32:04,849 --> 00:32:08,049
Apparently, she isn't here.
Let's go look for her someplace else.
425
00:32:08,051 --> 00:32:11,483
She wouldn't be dumb
enough to thumb, would she?
426
00:32:11,485 --> 00:32:14,984
Does she have any friends that she might have run off with?
427
00:32:15,552 --> 00:32:17,318
Boyfriends?
428
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,819
Would you just get in the car so we can go look for the girl, please?
429
00:32:20,821 --> 00:32:22,853
I'm tired,
I had to get out of the bed,
430
00:32:22,855 --> 00:32:24,887
I haven't had any coffee.
I don't feel good.
431
00:32:24,889 --> 00:32:26,255
My daughter, I don't know
where the hell she is.
432
00:32:26,257 --> 00:32:28,022
And you're
standing by the car there,
433
00:32:28,024 --> 00:32:29,856
sounding like some goddamn
preacher or something!
434
00:32:29,858 --> 00:32:31,490
Come on. Get in the car!
435
00:32:33,259 --> 00:32:34,490
Prick.
436
00:32:39,361 --> 00:32:41,660
Are you sure you
didn't hurt yourself?
437
00:32:41,662 --> 00:32:44,361
Oh, no. Are you kidding?
438
00:32:44,363 --> 00:32:46,895
No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
439
00:32:46,897 --> 00:32:48,328
Can I ask what you were doing?
440
00:32:48,330 --> 00:32:50,329
Uh...
Oh, I was roller-skating.
441
00:32:51,198 --> 00:32:52,863
I know, but why?
442
00:32:52,865 --> 00:32:54,997
Oh, why not?
443
00:32:54,999 --> 00:32:58,666
I got bored. One thing
led to another and...
444
00:32:58,668 --> 00:33:01,768
And I'm roller-skating
in my shorts.
445
00:33:01,770 --> 00:33:04,069
Better question would be,
"What are you doing here?"
446
00:33:04,770 --> 00:33:06,503
Shopping.
447
00:33:06,505 --> 00:33:09,103
Well, we've been
closed for five hours.
448
00:33:09,105 --> 00:33:11,370
Yeah. I fell asleep.
449
00:33:11,372 --> 00:33:12,871
While shopping?
450
00:33:12,873 --> 00:33:14,504
No,
in the ladies' dressing room.
451
00:33:14,506 --> 00:33:18,073
That makes no sense.
You're a high-profile young ingenue.
452
00:33:18,075 --> 00:33:19,873
I was debating...
What?
453
00:33:19,875 --> 00:33:23,274
Whether or not to get
arrested for shoplifting.
454
00:33:23,276 --> 00:33:26,442
Doesn't your father own, like,
$10 million worth of real estate in this town?
455
00:33:26,444 --> 00:33:28,242
Well, it's not my fault.
456
00:33:28,244 --> 00:33:30,009
No, no, I didn't imply such.
457
00:33:30,011 --> 00:33:33,244
It just seems funny
that someone of your...
458
00:33:33,246 --> 00:33:35,011
Wealth?
459
00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:36,679
If you will.
Would be shoplifting...
460
00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:39,146
I didn't do it.
I chickened out.
461
00:33:40,082 --> 00:33:42,781
Would consider shoplifting.
462
00:33:42,783 --> 00:33:46,515
It's a long, dull, self-indulgent,
highly unromantic story
463
00:33:46,517 --> 00:33:49,016
about an overbearing father,
464
00:33:49,018 --> 00:33:51,217
deceased mother and brother
465
00:33:51,219 --> 00:33:54,852
and a completely confused girl
who looks a little like me.
466
00:34:32,604 --> 00:34:35,403
I sure am glad you dropped by.
467
00:34:35,405 --> 00:34:38,204
I was getting pretty
tired of being with myself.
468
00:34:41,241 --> 00:34:45,040
I guess... I guess,
I'm what you call a people person.
469
00:34:48,210 --> 00:34:49,441
What are you cooking?
470
00:34:49,443 --> 00:34:50,608
Uh, Hobo Chicken.
471
00:34:50,610 --> 00:34:52,976
It's a glazed
chicken in wine sauce
472
00:34:52,978 --> 00:34:55,910
with vegetables
and skin-on potatoes.
473
00:34:55,912 --> 00:34:58,111
Silverware... Silverware...
474
00:35:01,415 --> 00:35:03,380
It's only 210 calories.
475
00:35:03,382 --> 00:35:05,647
And I don't know
if you're watching
476
00:35:05,649 --> 00:35:07,881
your figure, but I sure am.
477
00:35:07,883 --> 00:35:10,082
Uh, if you can just
grab a serving spoon
478
00:35:10,084 --> 00:35:12,216
over there,
I think we'll be set.
479
00:35:17,487 --> 00:35:19,652
Uh, keep your
distance from these things.
480
00:35:19,654 --> 00:35:21,886
I think it's safe
to keep five feet.
481
00:35:26,890 --> 00:35:29,054
I think they're about done.
482
00:35:31,223 --> 00:35:33,621
Well,
dining room's right this way.
483
00:35:36,157 --> 00:35:37,855
Mmm!
484
00:35:38,157 --> 00:35:40,789
Mmm. Oh.
485
00:35:40,791 --> 00:35:44,390
I think my father poured
the cement for your pool.
486
00:35:45,825 --> 00:35:48,824
He's a cement contractor.
Good man.
487
00:35:49,959 --> 00:35:51,490
Bud Dodge?
488
00:35:51,492 --> 00:35:54,291
My mother works at Hoenicker's
over Christmas, part time.
489
00:35:54,293 --> 00:35:56,158
My sister's
a teller at the bank.
490
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:59,059
My brother's in grade school.
He's not employed at the moment.
491
00:35:59,061 --> 00:36:01,794
I used to work at
the animal shelter.
492
00:36:01,796 --> 00:36:05,296
But I was terminated. And now...
Now I'm working here.
493
00:36:07,765 --> 00:36:09,397
Do you always talk this much?
494
00:36:12,067 --> 00:36:14,667
Yeah, I guess I do.
495
00:36:14,669 --> 00:36:16,734
I like talking to people.
496
00:36:18,703 --> 00:36:21,169
I was thinking maybe
you should go into sales.
497
00:36:21,171 --> 00:36:22,435
I've actually tried that.
498
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:32,206
Some fresh ground pepper?
499
00:36:32,208 --> 00:36:33,639
Please.
500
00:36:36,109 --> 00:36:37,941
Some people don't
like a lot of pepper.
501
00:36:37,943 --> 00:36:39,742
Say when.
That's fine.
502
00:36:40,944 --> 00:36:42,709
I happen to
really like it a lot.
503
00:36:42,711 --> 00:36:46,244
I think it enhances the natural flavor of the chicken.
504
00:36:49,847 --> 00:36:52,580
I hope you don't
take this the wrong way.
505
00:36:53,416 --> 00:36:55,548
I've had dreams about you.
506
00:36:55,550 --> 00:36:57,748
You've had dreams about me?
507
00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:00,849
Not recently.
508
00:37:00,851 --> 00:37:03,016
I've had dreams
about you in the past.
509
00:37:03,018 --> 00:37:05,517
I've had dreams about
entire cheerleading squads,
510
00:37:05,519 --> 00:37:07,584
so don't get me wrong.
511
00:37:07,586 --> 00:37:09,851
It's kid stuff, you know.
How 'bout you?
512
00:37:09,853 --> 00:37:11,318
Do I dream?
Mmm.
513
00:37:13,688 --> 00:37:15,620
That's about all I do.
514
00:37:29,562 --> 00:37:33,095
Raisin' a kid's hard work.
You got any kids?
515
00:37:33,097 --> 00:37:35,963
No, sir. No, sir.
And from listening to you talking
516
00:37:35,965 --> 00:37:37,863
and from observin' this,
517
00:37:37,865 --> 00:37:41,097
I'm kinda grateful old Emily
turned up infertile.
518
00:37:58,241 --> 00:38:01,040
Shouldn't you be
cleaning up the store?
519
00:38:01,875 --> 00:38:03,374
I got plenty of time.
520
00:38:03,942 --> 00:38:05,974
Big store.
Huge.
521
00:38:07,876 --> 00:38:09,341
Always smoke cigars?
522
00:38:10,910 --> 00:38:13,276
I enjoy a good one
after a fine meal.
523
00:38:13,278 --> 00:38:15,278
It settles the stomach.
524
00:38:16,446 --> 00:38:18,111
You're the town liar, right?
525
00:38:22,981 --> 00:38:24,146
What?
526
00:38:24,148 --> 00:38:28,214
I'm sorry.
That really came out wrong.
527
00:38:28,216 --> 00:38:29,881
I don't see how something like that could come out right.
528
00:38:29,883 --> 00:38:31,315
I guess I meant that's
what people call you.
529
00:38:31,317 --> 00:38:32,715
But I didn't mean to imply
that it's actually true.
530
00:38:32,717 --> 00:38:33,916
People are
actually calling me that?
531
00:38:33,918 --> 00:38:35,549
I thought you knew.
532
00:38:35,551 --> 00:38:37,049
Know what?
That I was the town liar?
533
00:38:37,051 --> 00:38:38,283
You didn't?
534
00:38:38,285 --> 00:38:39,616
No. I'm not.
535
00:38:39,618 --> 00:38:41,216
I think that you might have
the wrong information.
536
00:38:41,218 --> 00:38:42,383
I didn't mean to offend you.
537
00:38:43,651 --> 00:38:45,117
Did you think that
was a compliment?
538
00:38:45,119 --> 00:38:47,284
No. No. And I apologize.
539
00:38:47,286 --> 00:38:49,918
You know, I can't
repeat things like that.
540
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,486
Don't think about it.
It's all right.
541
00:38:52,488 --> 00:38:55,086
As I said, I think you've got
the wrong information.
542
00:38:55,088 --> 00:38:57,088
But, if people
are calling me that,
543
00:38:57,090 --> 00:38:59,721
it's only because they're small, cheap, petty,
and jealous.
544
00:38:59,723 --> 00:39:02,222
Small towns are notorious
for that kinda thing.
545
00:39:02,224 --> 00:39:03,456
I'm sure
there's a word for me.
546
00:39:03,458 --> 00:39:04,889
Oh, yeah. Sure.
547
00:39:04,891 --> 00:39:06,090
What do they call me?
548
00:39:06,092 --> 00:39:07,323
A tease.
549
00:39:07,325 --> 00:39:08,724
Tease?
550
00:39:10,593 --> 00:39:12,992
Yeah, I can see that.
551
00:39:12,994 --> 00:39:14,392
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
552
00:39:14,394 --> 00:39:16,993
Actually, I never teased.
553
00:39:16,995 --> 00:39:19,327
This is becoming amusing.
554
00:39:19,329 --> 00:39:21,227
Who exactly calls me a liar?
555
00:39:21,229 --> 00:39:23,094
Everybody.
556
00:39:23,096 --> 00:39:24,728
Everybody.
No, not everybody.
557
00:39:24,730 --> 00:39:26,228
I'm sure there's
some old people in town.
558
00:39:26,230 --> 00:39:27,661
Right.
559
00:39:33,933 --> 00:39:35,631
Well, what do you think?
560
00:39:35,633 --> 00:39:37,297
What do I think?
561
00:39:39,233 --> 00:39:41,099
Do you think I'm a liar?
562
00:39:41,101 --> 00:39:43,299
Well,
I don't know you well enough.
563
00:39:45,001 --> 00:39:47,000
You've known me
for almost 17 years.
564
00:39:47,002 --> 00:39:49,401
We went to the same schools
from kindergarten on up.
565
00:39:49,403 --> 00:39:52,135
I knew of you,
but I didn't know you personally.
566
00:39:53,504 --> 00:39:55,469
That's always bothered me.
567
00:39:55,471 --> 00:39:59,137
I mean, that old "in-out,
us-them" thing.
568
00:39:59,139 --> 00:40:00,604
That's the way it's been.
569
00:40:00,606 --> 00:40:02,005
I know.
It's always bothered me.
570
00:40:02,007 --> 00:40:04,439
Sure, but it's
water over the dam now.
571
00:40:04,441 --> 00:40:07,740
Yeah, but it's
your dam and my water.
572
00:40:07,742 --> 00:40:09,507
I got crapped on
a lot of years.
573
00:40:09,509 --> 00:40:11,741
I just meant that
it's in the past.
574
00:40:11,743 --> 00:40:14,576
Well, the present is
a result of the past.
575
00:40:14,578 --> 00:40:16,810
I look at my high
school yearbook,
576
00:40:16,812 --> 00:40:19,912
and I don't see
four fabulous years.
577
00:40:19,914 --> 00:40:22,113
Actually, what I'm reminded of
is what it feels like
578
00:40:22,115 --> 00:40:24,247
to have my
underwear yanked up my ass
579
00:40:24,249 --> 00:40:26,615
by some big football player with arms like telephone poles.
580
00:40:26,617 --> 00:40:29,149
Okay,
and where are those guys now?
581
00:40:30,751 --> 00:40:35,284
I know they're not working nights at Target.
I'll tell you that.
582
00:40:35,286 --> 00:40:38,085
Yeah. You know,
583
00:40:38,087 --> 00:40:40,086
I look at my yearbook
584
00:40:40,088 --> 00:40:43,387
and I see four fabulous years
585
00:40:44,856 --> 00:40:46,788
that are gonna be
the highlight of my life.
586
00:40:46,790 --> 00:40:48,922
Here's what it's like...
587
00:40:48,924 --> 00:40:52,190
First, you feel a hand going down the back of your pants
588
00:40:52,192 --> 00:40:53,924
and tighten around
the elastic waistband...
589
00:40:53,926 --> 00:40:55,592
Highlight.
590
00:40:55,594 --> 00:40:57,426
Sometimes I'd
actually see stars.
591
00:40:57,428 --> 00:40:59,126
It's not going
to get any better.
592
00:40:59,128 --> 00:41:01,660
And if I was
particularly unlucky,
593
00:41:01,662 --> 00:41:04,128
my shorts would like
rip completely free
594
00:41:04,130 --> 00:41:05,528
and I would get this
really drastic fabric...
595
00:41:05,530 --> 00:41:06,862
Jim? Do you hear me?
596
00:41:09,798 --> 00:41:10,997
Yeah. 63600:41:14,101 --> 00:41:17,1000 I don't really
care about a graphic description of a childhood prank.
597
00:41:18,002 --> 00:41:20,334
Hey, that prank was
a motif in my life.
598
00:41:24,804 --> 00:41:28,470
You know,
I'm locked in this store here
599
00:41:28,472 --> 00:41:31,472
because I didn't have
the guts to steal a skirt,
600
00:41:31,474 --> 00:41:34,307
so I could get arrested
and embarrass my father
601
00:41:34,309 --> 00:41:36,875
in this stupid,
desperate, childish,
602
00:41:36,877 --> 00:41:39,042
pathetic
attempt to leave home.
603
00:41:39,044 --> 00:41:41,610
And you have your underwear yanked up your ass.
604
00:41:41,612 --> 00:41:44,544
I have my entire
life yanked up my ass.
605
00:41:46,314 --> 00:41:48,479
Well,
you're speaking figuratively.
606
00:41:48,481 --> 00:41:50,546
I was speaking literally.
And you're happy.
607
00:41:50,548 --> 00:41:51,846
You know, you're happy.
608
00:41:53,049 --> 00:41:54,614
I'm not happy.
609
00:41:54,616 --> 00:41:56,281
I'm working nights.
610
00:41:56,283 --> 00:41:58,782
Uh,
everybody thinks I'm a liar.
611
00:41:58,784 --> 00:42:00,483
My whole
family's laughing at me.
612
00:42:00,485 --> 00:42:02,684
Reverend Harwell gave me
the finger last week.
613
00:42:02,686 --> 00:42:04,051
Okay, okay, you're not happy,
614
00:42:04,053 --> 00:42:05,785
but at least you have
some control over your life.
615
00:42:05,787 --> 00:42:07,752
So do you.
My father controls my life.
616
00:42:08,621 --> 00:42:10,286
You're over 18.
617
00:42:10,288 --> 00:42:12,221
You can tell him to drop dead,
and get on a plane.
618
00:42:12,223 --> 00:42:13,454
So can you.
619
00:42:13,456 --> 00:42:14,588
I don't want to.
620
00:42:16,324 --> 00:42:18,189
I like living at home.
621
00:42:18,191 --> 00:42:19,489
No, you don't.
622
00:42:19,491 --> 00:42:22,357
What am I, a garden snail?
623
00:42:23,460 --> 00:42:25,459
An involuntary
muscle in a janitor suit?
624
00:42:25,461 --> 00:42:27,193
I,
uh, I know what I want to do.
625
00:42:28,029 --> 00:42:29,627
What could you possibly like
626
00:42:29,629 --> 00:42:32,028
about living at
home at your age?
627
00:42:32,030 --> 00:42:36,195
The meals are great. I mean,
there's the, uh... There's cable.
628
00:42:37,631 --> 00:42:40,863
Um, the accommodations
are excellent, five-star.
629
00:42:40,865 --> 00:42:42,897
What do you care if I'm
living at home or not?
630
00:42:44,133 --> 00:42:46,866
Hey, I didn't come
here to irritate you.
631
00:42:46,868 --> 00:42:48,533
Well, you're beginning to.
632
00:42:51,803 --> 00:42:54,802
Great.
That's really great.
633
00:42:54,804 --> 00:42:57,804
I gotta stop saying
those kinds of things.
634
00:42:57,806 --> 00:43:00,472
Those freakin' kids!
I knew I couldn't trust 'em.
635
00:43:00,474 --> 00:43:03,639
Town liar.
That's a nice rep. Nice rep.
636
00:43:03,641 --> 00:43:05,507
I bet it was Gregory,
that little weasel.
637
00:43:05,509 --> 00:43:07,374
Top secret,
top secret, I tell 'em,
638
00:43:07,376 --> 00:43:09,141
and they still
shoot off their mouths!
639
00:43:09,143 --> 00:43:11,208
If I'd really
been a French spy,
640
00:43:11,210 --> 00:43:13,576
those little tots
would've gotten me killed!
641
00:43:13,578 --> 00:43:15,543
Piano wire
wrapped around my neck.
642
00:43:15,545 --> 00:43:17,211
My testicles
shoved down my throat,
643
00:43:17,213 --> 00:43:19,278
a piece of
dynamite stuck up my ass.
644
00:43:25,248 --> 00:43:26,613
She's so beautiful.
645
00:43:29,015 --> 00:43:30,581
And I'm the town liar.
646
00:45:14,139 --> 00:45:18,805
Jim,
there's no reason to lie right now.
647
00:45:18,807 --> 00:45:21,306
There's no one to impress.
648
00:45:21,308 --> 00:45:23,006
You know,I'm not impressed by a man
649
00:45:23,008 --> 00:45:24,807
telling me helikes living at home.
650
00:45:24,809 --> 00:45:28,208
Excuse me. I'm not lying,
651
00:45:28,210 --> 00:45:30,375
and I'm not
trying to impress you.
652
00:45:30,377 --> 00:45:32,576
So, if you'll excuse me,
I have work to do.
653
00:45:32,578 --> 00:45:35,044
I have to clean dead flies
out of the lighting fixtures.
654
00:45:35,046 --> 00:45:38,312
Okay, okay, my error.I apologize.
655
00:45:38,314 --> 00:45:42,247
It's just that Ican't imagine a man,
656
00:45:42,249 --> 00:45:45,615
giving up his independence,
his right to mate,
657
00:45:46,316 --> 00:45:48,149
to have a family,
658
00:45:48,151 --> 00:45:51,583
to have children,to build a life for himself,
659
00:45:51,585 --> 00:45:52,817
for good cooking.
660
00:45:52,819 --> 00:45:54,150
Hold on.
661
00:45:54,152 --> 00:45:56,985
I have not given
up my right to mate.
662
00:45:56,987 --> 00:45:59,319
I have
the right to mate
663
00:45:59,321 --> 00:46:02,386
anytime I feel like mating.
664
00:46:03,088 --> 00:46:04,853
You go out with someone.
665
00:46:04,855 --> 00:46:06,654
You bring her home.
666
00:46:06,656 --> 00:46:08,688
You introduce her to...
667
00:46:08,690 --> 00:46:11,755
Mom, Dad, sis, Billy,
668
00:46:12,357 --> 00:46:13,988
Woofie the dog.
669
00:46:13,990 --> 00:46:15,889
Cocktails in
the rumpus room, and then
670
00:46:16,757 --> 00:46:18,423
do it on the bunk bed?
671
00:46:18,657 --> 00:46:20,356
Oh,
672
00:46:20,358 --> 00:46:22,156
let's analyze that remark.
673
00:46:22,825 --> 00:46:24,690
First, I don't have a dog,
674
00:46:24,692 --> 00:46:26,357
my brother's not named Billy,
675
00:46:26,359 --> 00:46:29,525
and I don't even have a rumpus room.
So I don't even...
676
00:46:29,527 --> 00:46:31,058
You know what I mean.
677
00:46:36,228 --> 00:46:38,794
Yeah, I know what you mean.
678
00:46:39,896 --> 00:46:41,729
Spit on me,
make me feel lousy.
679
00:46:48,233 --> 00:46:49,898
Jim?
680
00:46:51,267 --> 00:46:53,499
You said something
that wasn't true.
681
00:46:54,368 --> 00:46:55,999
No.
682
00:46:56,001 --> 00:47:00,600
No, I said that I can
have sex when I want to,
683
00:47:00,602 --> 00:47:03,435
and I do. I do.
684
00:47:03,437 --> 00:47:06,502
However, I was looking forward to a nice,
quiet evening of janitoring.
685
00:47:09,172 --> 00:47:11,004
I don't think you see
what I'm getting at.
686
00:47:11,673 --> 00:47:13,605
I see what you're getting at.
687
00:47:13,607 --> 00:47:16,206
I'm a lying monk
with an Oedipus complex
688
00:47:16,208 --> 00:47:17,506
and an appetite
for home cooking.
689
00:47:17,508 --> 00:47:19,106
Don't forget. You're
the indecisive shoplifter.
690
00:47:19,108 --> 00:47:21,108
Yes! Exactly!
691
00:47:21,110 --> 00:47:23,275
I would do anything
to be in your shoes.
692
00:47:23,943 --> 00:47:26,509
These are Darnell's shoes.
693
00:47:26,511 --> 00:47:29,143
You know, you have freedom,
and you're not using it.
694
00:47:30,346 --> 00:47:32,278
It makes me sad.
695
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:34,846
Well, you have the collective wealth of the entire town,
696
00:47:34,848 --> 00:47:37,613
and you're trying to get yourself arrested.
Now, that makes me sad.
697
00:47:37,615 --> 00:47:39,681
That makes me sad, too.
698
00:47:39,683 --> 00:47:41,014
That's pretty stupid.
699
00:47:41,016 --> 00:47:42,280
It's very stupid.
700
00:47:43,549 --> 00:47:45,514
Are you serious?
701
00:47:45,516 --> 00:47:47,781
I mean,
you haven't been drinking?
702
00:47:47,783 --> 00:47:49,581
This isn't the bottle talking?
703
00:47:50,350 --> 00:47:51,681
No.
704
00:47:52,617 --> 00:47:55,349
Then why don't you
just talk to the guy?
705
00:47:57,518 --> 00:48:00,417
For the same reason
that you can't leave home,
706
00:48:00,419 --> 00:48:02,417
I can't tell my
father to go to hell.
707
00:48:04,019 --> 00:48:05,484
Why not?
708
00:48:08,221 --> 00:48:11,087
Because I don't
want to be alone.
709
00:48:38,802 --> 00:48:40,433
Mr. McClellan?
710
00:48:41,903 --> 00:48:44,968
You ever have any family problems,
you and your daughter?
711
00:48:46,104 --> 00:48:48,135
What the hell do
you think this is?
712
00:48:49,971 --> 00:48:51,370
You got a point.
713
00:48:57,241 --> 00:48:58,939
Would you go
with me somewhere?
714
00:49:01,909 --> 00:49:03,540
Where?
Florida?
715
00:49:04,209 --> 00:49:06,374
Wyoming? Spain?
716
00:49:06,376 --> 00:49:08,608
It doesn't really matter,
just away somewhere.
717
00:49:10,044 --> 00:49:11,542
I'd love to.
718
00:49:12,278 --> 00:49:14,944
I just can't afford to be
719
00:49:14,946 --> 00:49:17,078
capricious and
carefree like yourself.
720
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:20,845
I, uh,
I've gotta set my sights on something and really go for it.
721
00:49:21,914 --> 00:49:23,379
Night janitor?
722
00:49:24,315 --> 00:49:26,380
It's a beginning.
I'm looking at...
723
00:49:26,382 --> 00:49:28,013
It's an end.
724
00:49:30,549 --> 00:49:32,714
Maybe if you had,
like, a destination in mind,
725
00:49:32,716 --> 00:49:34,981
that would make all the difference in the world.
726
00:49:36,049 --> 00:49:38,215
Why?
727
00:49:38,217 --> 00:49:40,715
Well,
uh, I'm, uh, I'm just not
728
00:49:40,717 --> 00:49:43,083
built to
aimlessly roam the world.
729
00:49:43,085 --> 00:49:45,450
I'm too
conservative for that.
730
00:49:46,886 --> 00:49:48,751
Well,
731
00:49:48,753 --> 00:49:50,885
I was thinking
about Los Angeles.
732
00:49:50,887 --> 00:49:52,986
Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.
733
00:49:54,155 --> 00:49:55,386
What for?
734
00:49:55,388 --> 00:49:56,453
Live. Work.
735
00:49:58,155 --> 00:49:59,887
At what?
Whatever.
736
00:50:00,623 --> 00:50:02,722
And what about your father?
737
00:50:04,391 --> 00:50:06,256
When I don't die,
738
00:50:06,258 --> 00:50:09,491
he'll realize that I
can make it on my own.
739
00:50:09,493 --> 00:50:13,659
If I do,
he'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I can't.
740
00:50:13,661 --> 00:50:17,061
If I run and he brings me back,
or if I go back on my own,
741
00:50:17,063 --> 00:50:18,761
either way he's just, uh,
gonna beat the shit out of me.
742
00:50:18,763 --> 00:50:20,495
So it doesn't
really make a difference.
743
00:50:20,497 --> 00:50:21,963
What, uh, literally?
744
00:50:25,632 --> 00:50:26,697
Yeah.
745
00:50:28,066 --> 00:50:29,398
Sad.
746
00:50:30,333 --> 00:50:31,732
Yeah, it's sad.
747
00:50:31,733 --> 00:50:34,132
Until he throws you
across the room, it's sad.
748
00:50:35,168 --> 00:50:36,733
I'm just afraid
to live with him,
749
00:50:36,735 --> 00:50:38,434
and I'm afraid to
live without... You know,
750
00:50:38,436 --> 00:50:41,401
you didn't come to work to hear this stuff.
I'm really sorry.
751
00:50:41,403 --> 00:50:42,735
That's all right.
752
00:50:42,737 --> 00:50:43,968
I'm gonna clean this up.
753
00:50:52,108 --> 00:50:54,173
I'm, uh, I'm just surprised.
754
00:50:54,175 --> 00:50:56,140
I thought everything
was okay, you know.
755
00:50:57,076 --> 00:50:58,441
I figured you got
a nice car, you got
756
00:50:58,443 --> 00:50:59,741
a nice house,
you got some money.
757
00:50:59,743 --> 00:51:01,142
Everything's okay.
758
00:51:01,144 --> 00:51:02,909
It should be,
759
00:51:02,911 --> 00:51:04,509
but it's not.
760
00:51:04,511 --> 00:51:06,576
It's twisted,
and it's distorted,
761
00:51:06,578 --> 00:51:09,244
and it can't be changed,
and it cannot be saved.
762
00:51:16,783 --> 00:51:18,182
I'll go with you.
763
00:51:23,486 --> 00:51:25,018
Really?
764
00:51:26,121 --> 00:51:27,420
Yeah.
765
00:51:29,289 --> 00:51:30,920
We have to get a car.
766
00:51:32,289 --> 00:51:34,122
Let's get through the night,
first.
767
00:51:34,124 --> 00:51:35,589
I have money.
768
00:51:35,591 --> 00:51:36,756
How much?
769
00:51:36,758 --> 00:51:38,423
$52,000.
770
00:51:40,893 --> 00:51:42,091
On you?
771
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:45,525
In my purse.
772
00:51:58,899 --> 00:52:00,797
$52,000. Wow.
773
00:52:02,033 --> 00:52:04,365
I've never seen so
much money in my life.
774
00:52:04,367 --> 00:52:06,665
This is
more than my house cost.
775
00:52:08,034 --> 00:52:10,099
Jim,
776
00:52:10,101 --> 00:52:12,300
now that I'm
spending the night,
777
00:52:12,302 --> 00:52:13,967
how can I pay you back
778
00:52:13,969 --> 00:52:16,368
for being so cold to
you in high school?
779
00:52:19,205 --> 00:52:21,037
Do you need
an answer right away?
780
00:52:21,305 --> 00:52:22,604
No.
781
00:52:23,539 --> 00:52:25,438
Sometime before
the sun comes up.
782
00:52:28,807 --> 00:52:30,438
Well, uh,
783
00:52:31,374 --> 00:52:33,373
you're probably not
going to remember this,
784
00:52:33,608 --> 00:52:35,873
but, uh,
785
00:52:35,875 --> 00:52:38,474
there was a homecoming dance
our sophomore year.
786
00:52:38,476 --> 00:52:39,774
Mmm-hmm.
787
00:52:39,776 --> 00:52:41,041
Do you remember Mrs. Noble?
788
00:52:42,209 --> 00:52:44,875
Large, hairy gym teacher
789
00:52:44,877 --> 00:52:46,742
with a suspiciously
cumbersome groin bulge?
790
00:52:46,744 --> 00:52:48,477
I had her for two years.
791
00:52:48,479 --> 00:52:49,977
Well, she made
everybody switch partners
792
00:52:49,979 --> 00:52:51,377
because all the fat girls
were dancing together,
793
00:52:51,379 --> 00:52:52,978
and the doinks,
myself included,
794
00:52:52,980 --> 00:52:54,545
were standing
against the wall,
795
00:52:54,547 --> 00:52:56,746
blowing spit bubbles.
Right.
796
00:52:56,748 --> 00:53:02,516
Well, uh, for three-quarters
of one verse of a slow song,
797
00:53:03,985 --> 00:53:05,350
we danced together.
798
00:53:06,986 --> 00:53:08,384
You reeked of Stridex.
799
00:53:09,553 --> 00:53:11,285
Oh, no, that was Larry Fry.
800
00:53:12,553 --> 00:53:13,885
I'm sorry.
801
00:53:15,153 --> 00:53:16,385
I don't remember.
802
00:53:16,387 --> 00:53:18,419
Well...
803
00:53:18,421 --> 00:53:20,353
You got your hair
caught in my braces.
804
00:53:21,055 --> 00:53:22,553
I don't remember.
805
00:53:22,555 --> 00:53:23,953
Well, it's not important.
806
00:53:26,489 --> 00:53:27,921
I had...
807
00:53:27,923 --> 00:53:29,554
Well, I just always...
808
00:53:30,622 --> 00:53:32,622
Dreamed of
finishing that dance.
809
00:53:35,891 --> 00:53:36,956
Okay.
810
00:53:40,225 --> 00:53:43,825
Oh, don't, uh,
don't feel you have to answer right away.
811
00:53:43,827 --> 00:53:47,293
It's just a small portion
of my life that's incomplete.
812
00:53:47,295 --> 00:53:49,560
I thought you were gonna say
something different.
813
00:53:55,732 --> 00:53:57,230
Well,
814
00:53:59,099 --> 00:54:00,797
first things first.
815
00:54:16,839 --> 00:54:20,871
¶ When things go wrong
816
00:54:22,073 --> 00:54:25,006
¶ As they sometimes will
817
00:54:25,008 --> 00:54:29,575
¶ When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
818
00:54:33,179 --> 00:54:36,811
¶ When the funds are low
819
00:54:38,146 --> 00:54:41,412
¶ And the debts are high
820
00:54:41,414 --> 00:54:46,314
¶ And you want to smile,but you have to sigh
821
00:54:49,684 --> 00:54:52,984
¶ When care
822
00:54:52,986 --> 00:54:57,619
¶ Is pressing you down a bit
823
00:54:57,621 --> 00:55:00,654
¶ Rest if you must
824
00:55:03,923 --> 00:55:06,588
¶ But don't you quit
825
00:55:08,424 --> 00:55:11,023
¶ Oh, no
826
00:55:11,692 --> 00:55:15,058
¶ Don't you quit
827
00:55:16,593 --> 00:55:18,558
¶ Oh, no
828
00:55:34,001 --> 00:55:38,301
¶ But you never can tell
829
00:55:38,303 --> 00:55:42,636
¶ How close you are
830
00:55:42,638 --> 00:55:48,238
¶ It may be nearwhen it seems so far
831
00:55:49,007 --> 00:55:50,071
¶ Ooh ¶
832
00:56:28,292 --> 00:56:29,490
Aah!
833
00:56:30,726 --> 00:56:31,924
Ow.
834
00:57:04,573 --> 00:57:06,205
Officer Don!
835
00:57:06,207 --> 00:57:08,472
Oh! You scared
the crap out of me.
836
00:57:08,474 --> 00:57:10,973
I thought it
was the custodian.
837
00:57:10,975 --> 00:57:13,074
Jim,
what are you doing in there?
838
00:57:13,076 --> 00:57:15,041
I work here now.
839
00:57:20,145 --> 00:57:22,210
You wanna let me in?
840
00:57:22,212 --> 00:57:25,377
I'd love to let you in.
I don't have the keys.
841
00:57:25,379 --> 00:57:27,212
I'm locked in
here till 7:00 a.m.
842
00:57:27,713 --> 00:57:29,245
What's going on?
843
00:57:29,247 --> 00:57:31,479
Have you seen Josie McClellan?
844
00:57:32,914 --> 00:57:35,246
Of course, uh...
845
00:57:36,048 --> 00:57:39,646
Dark hair,
green eyes, beautiful.
846
00:57:39,648 --> 00:57:41,047
Oh, yeah. Of course.
847
00:57:41,049 --> 00:57:42,313
You seen her recently?
848
00:57:42,315 --> 00:57:44,147
Oh!
849
00:57:44,149 --> 00:57:47,649
Ah, matter of fact,
I just saw her yesterday, yeah.
850
00:57:47,651 --> 00:57:49,883
We had a cup of java together.
851
00:57:49,885 --> 00:57:52,084
She come into the store?
852
00:57:52,086 --> 00:57:54,652
Oh, I don't know.
I only work nights.
853
00:57:54,654 --> 00:57:56,619
Why?
Well,
854
00:57:57,754 --> 00:57:59,587
she's missing.
855
00:57:59,589 --> 00:58:03,322
Now, I was looking around this side of town for her and I come past.
856
00:58:03,324 --> 00:58:06,223
I seen that
the outside sign's on.
857
00:58:06,225 --> 00:58:08,624
The outside sign's never on.
858
00:58:09,193 --> 00:58:10,991
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
859
00:58:10,993 --> 00:58:12,725
Did you try the library?
860
00:58:12,727 --> 00:58:15,125
Because, you know,
maybe she fell asleep reading.
861
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:18,093
No.
862
00:58:18,095 --> 00:58:21,394
She's probably just screwing somebody the old man don't approve of.
863
00:58:27,165 --> 00:58:28,596
Would you know...
864
00:58:28,598 --> 00:58:32,997
If the custodian comes by
to check up on people?
865
00:58:32,999 --> 00:58:35,832
Oh, no, I wouldn't
think he'd do that, Jimmy.
866
00:58:36,568 --> 00:58:38,934
I feel pretty good now.
867
00:58:48,007 --> 00:58:49,705
I'm sorry, sir.
868
00:58:49,707 --> 00:58:52,006
I had to practice
a little therapy.
869
00:58:52,675 --> 00:58:54,407
Boy's in his own world.
870
01:00:46,405 --> 01:00:47,971
Aah!
871
01:01:27,394 --> 01:01:29,126
Why don't we get
underneath the bench?
872
01:01:32,530 --> 01:01:34,195
Do you want to get on top?
873
01:01:42,535 --> 01:01:44,767
You check the office.
I'll scope the dressing rooms.
874
01:01:44,769 --> 01:01:46,267
Right.
875
01:01:54,772 --> 01:01:56,270
You're on top.
876
01:01:58,539 --> 01:01:59,904
Did you want to be on top?
877
01:01:59,906 --> 01:02:01,771
Oh, no.
878
01:02:01,773 --> 01:02:04,439
No,
no, uh, I'm fine where I am.
879
01:02:04,707 --> 01:02:06,106
Sure.
880
01:02:39,058 --> 01:02:42,891
Ow, ow, ow.
881
01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:46,492
I think he went to the back.
882
01:02:58,167 --> 01:02:59,899
Evening.
883
01:03:03,803 --> 01:03:06,102
Nice.
884
01:03:06,104 --> 01:03:07,936
Excellent.
885
01:03:07,938 --> 01:03:11,236
Hey, you got a tattoo?
886
01:03:13,672 --> 01:03:14,837
No, sir.
887
01:03:14,839 --> 01:03:16,404
Not you, asshole!
888
01:03:16,406 --> 01:03:18,471
I'm a missing person.
889
01:03:18,473 --> 01:03:21,105
The whole town
is looking for me.
890
01:03:21,107 --> 01:03:24,073
What, are you hidin' out?
Yes.
891
01:03:24,075 --> 01:03:26,441
And I would appreciate
it if you'd let us sit up.
892
01:03:26,443 --> 01:03:28,341
What about the tattoo?
893
01:03:29,177 --> 01:03:31,242
I don't have one.
894
01:03:31,244 --> 01:03:32,575
You owe me a buck.
895
01:03:32,577 --> 01:03:34,009
Actually, it's up to two.
896
01:03:34,011 --> 01:03:36,843
I borrowed that one off you at Burger King.
897
01:03:36,845 --> 01:03:38,477
Excuse me.
898
01:03:40,012 --> 01:03:42,411
Are you planning to shoot us
in the back of the head?
899
01:03:42,413 --> 01:03:45,145
We haven't
decided yet, have we?
900
01:03:46,747 --> 01:03:48,146
Who are you?
901
01:03:48,148 --> 01:03:50,913
Uh, you don't want to know.
902
01:03:50,915 --> 01:03:53,347
He wouldn't have asked if he didn't want to know, butthead.
903
01:03:53,349 --> 01:03:55,315
He's a little crazy.
He's my brother.
904
01:03:55,317 --> 01:03:57,149
He's not quite right.
That's not true.
905
01:03:57,817 --> 01:03:59,249
She doesn't even know me.
906
01:03:59,251 --> 01:04:00,816
Somebody better start
talking straight here.
907
01:04:00,818 --> 01:04:02,317
That's the truth.
908
01:04:02,584 --> 01:04:04,516
Okay.
909
01:04:06,752 --> 01:04:08,350
You want to know?
910
01:04:09,418 --> 01:04:11,317
Mmm-hmm.
Okay, good.
911
01:04:11,751 --> 01:04:13,517
But, uh...
912
01:04:14,685 --> 01:04:16,717
Come on over here.
913
01:04:17,586 --> 01:04:20,118
What?
- Come on over.
914
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:22,085
Come on over here! Over here.
915
01:04:39,695 --> 01:04:41,494
Come on down here.
916
01:04:44,463 --> 01:04:46,196
That's right.
Down here. Down here.
917
01:04:46,597 --> 01:04:48,063
Uh-huh?
918
01:04:49,131 --> 01:04:50,497
Okay.
919
01:04:52,032 --> 01:04:54,498
You dumb sons of bitches.
920
01:04:55,501 --> 01:04:58,533
Do you realize that
you have just walked
921
01:04:58,535 --> 01:05:02,101
straight into a $60-million
drug transaction?
922
01:05:04,803 --> 01:05:06,134
So, you're running this
923
01:05:06,136 --> 01:05:09,636
multi-zillion-dollar
drug transaction by yourself?
924
01:05:09,638 --> 01:05:11,470
Little Target boy.
925
01:05:11,472 --> 01:05:13,604
No.
926
01:05:13,606 --> 01:05:16,272
No,
I'm not doing it by myself.
927
01:05:16,274 --> 01:05:17,905
Oh, no, no.
928
01:05:19,140 --> 01:05:20,572
As a matter of fact,
929
01:05:22,107 --> 01:05:24,106
in about 10 minutes,
930
01:05:24,108 --> 01:05:27,308
this place is gonna be
alive with the meanest,
931
01:05:27,310 --> 01:05:30,876
ugliest, most impatient animals you guys have ever seen.
932
01:05:30,878 --> 01:05:34,278
So I'll tell you what,
I'll give you five minutes to take
933
01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:36,979
whatever you want in the whole store.
Anything you want and just go.
934
01:05:36,981 --> 01:05:39,945
I won't tell. Just go.
Just take your guns and go. Scoot.
935
01:05:40,681 --> 01:05:42,412
Okay, then, who's the girl?
936
01:05:44,782 --> 01:05:46,014
I'm his hostage.
937
01:05:46,016 --> 01:05:47,180
Yes, yes.
938
01:05:48,283 --> 01:05:51,283
Is that true? Hmm?
939
01:05:51,285 --> 01:05:53,684
Yes! Yes, it's true.
940
01:05:54,118 --> 01:05:55,884
And, um...
941
01:05:58,987 --> 01:06:01,086
If the deal doesn't go down,
942
01:06:01,721 --> 01:06:03,119
she becomes pig feed.
943
01:06:03,121 --> 01:06:04,286
Bullshit.
944
01:06:04,721 --> 01:06:06,186
Oh, really?
945
01:06:09,156 --> 01:06:10,354
Well, blow her away.
946
01:06:10,356 --> 01:06:12,455
Come on, that's bullshit!
947
01:06:13,791 --> 01:06:15,222
Okay.
948
01:06:16,625 --> 01:06:20,056
Then give me your guns
and I'll do it for you.
949
01:06:21,225 --> 01:06:22,356
It's bullshit, right?
950
01:06:23,992 --> 01:06:25,423
We'll see.
951
01:06:28,026 --> 01:06:29,657
Roll over.
952
01:06:29,659 --> 01:06:31,157
Come on, you heard him.
What?
953
01:06:31,159 --> 01:06:33,192
Roll over!
That's right. You too, honey.
954
01:06:33,194 --> 01:06:35,560
You heard me.
Roll over. Come on, do it!
955
01:06:35,562 --> 01:06:39,294
Come on, come on! Roll!
Roll. That's it. Very good.
956
01:06:39,296 --> 01:06:42,628
Mmm! Yeah.
957
01:06:42,630 --> 01:06:45,563
Um, give me the guns.
958
01:06:45,565 --> 01:06:47,297
Ah!
959
01:06:47,299 --> 01:06:48,831
No way, man. Uh-uh.
960
01:06:48,833 --> 01:06:50,565
Fine. Fine.
961
01:06:50,567 --> 01:06:52,699
You do it. I don't
need her anymore, anyway.
962
01:06:54,035 --> 01:06:55,733
I only needed her to
get through customs.
963
01:06:55,735 --> 01:06:57,400
I don't like this.
964
01:06:57,402 --> 01:06:59,067
This sucks. It's not worth it.
965
01:06:59,069 --> 01:07:00,635
Come on, we don't
have much time. Do it!
966
01:07:00,637 --> 01:07:02,068
All right.
967
01:07:05,905 --> 01:07:07,638
It's nothing personal.
968
01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:09,271
Jim!
Too late. They're here!
969
01:07:11,307 --> 01:07:12,805
It's too late. They're here.
970
01:07:12,807 --> 01:07:14,006
Men, hold your fire.
Hold the fire.
971
01:07:15,174 --> 01:07:17,073
Ned in housewares,
hold your fire.
972
01:07:17,075 --> 01:07:18,873
Tommy in sporting goods,
hold your fire.
973
01:07:18,875 --> 01:07:20,206
Ned, hold your fire.
974
01:07:20,208 --> 01:07:22,574
There are infrared scopes
trained on your heads.
975
01:07:22,576 --> 01:07:24,142
We didn't want this!
976
01:07:24,144 --> 01:07:25,609
It's the girl
you want, not us!
977
01:07:26,712 --> 01:07:28,143
Just relax, okay.
Ned, we got a WD-40.
978
01:07:28,145 --> 01:07:29,643
That's right.
A full-scale PMS.
979
01:07:29,645 --> 01:07:31,344
Okay, everybody, just relax!
980
01:07:31,346 --> 01:07:34,211
Now,
now, everybody just relax.
981
01:07:34,213 --> 01:07:35,979
Okay, the whole
place is gonna blow.
982
01:07:35,981 --> 01:07:37,145
Everybody just relax.
983
01:07:37,147 --> 01:07:38,979
Now, put down your guns.
Put the guns down.
984
01:07:38,981 --> 01:07:40,513
Ned, they're
putting down the guns.
985
01:07:40,515 --> 01:07:42,213
Are you putting them down?
They are putting them down.
986
01:07:42,215 --> 01:07:44,647
Now, get down, 'cause
lives are at stake here.
987
01:07:44,649 --> 01:07:48,047
Let go. Let go, let go.
Now, get back, get back.
988
01:07:49,483 --> 01:07:52,915
Spread 'em. Spread the legs.
Put down the dogs.
989
01:07:52,917 --> 01:07:55,483
Okay, put the dogs down.
Put the dogs down.
990
01:07:55,485 --> 01:07:57,917
Both of 'em!
Put the dogs down! Down!
991
01:07:59,653 --> 01:08:01,519
That was great!
992
01:08:01,521 --> 01:08:03,253
I got a big
surprise for you guys.
993
01:08:03,255 --> 01:08:06,087
We have a bit of
a surprise for you, too.
994
01:08:07,590 --> 01:08:09,355
Them guns aren't loaded.
995
01:08:19,828 --> 01:08:21,626
I got an idea.
996
01:08:21,628 --> 01:08:23,593
How about a truce?
997
01:08:23,595 --> 01:08:26,595
I'm full of shit.
You're full of shit.
998
01:08:26,597 --> 01:08:29,330
I think everybody at one time in their life is full of shit.
999
01:08:29,332 --> 01:08:30,930
I'll throw on
a couple of corn dogs
1000
01:08:30,932 --> 01:08:33,031
and we'll all get
to know each other.
1001
01:08:33,033 --> 01:08:35,332
I'd like to know what
goes on inside your heads.
1002
01:08:35,334 --> 01:08:37,633
Okay, you had
the big one, you had the...
1003
01:08:37,635 --> 01:08:39,300
No.
1004
01:08:39,302 --> 01:08:40,901
Sorry. I could've
sworn you had the big one.
1005
01:08:42,270 --> 01:08:44,002
Ha!
1006
01:08:45,338 --> 01:08:47,370
I lied.
1007
01:08:51,173 --> 01:08:54,205
These are the men that
killed that guy in Saltburg.
1008
01:08:55,307 --> 01:08:57,673
I'm fairly sure
that we're gonna die.
1009
01:08:57,675 --> 01:08:59,474
I just want to tell
you how disappointed I am
1010
01:08:59,476 --> 01:09:01,274
that we're not going
to California together.
1011
01:09:01,276 --> 01:09:03,008
We're not dead yet.
1012
01:09:04,111 --> 01:09:06,776
Pretty darn close.
No.
1013
01:09:06,778 --> 01:09:09,377
If I can get them
to take me with them,
1014
01:09:09,379 --> 01:09:11,778
maybe I can get away
and come back for you.
1015
01:09:11,780 --> 01:09:14,512
Don't forget we need a car
and they obviously have one.
1016
01:09:15,882 --> 01:09:17,814
Just...
1017
01:09:17,816 --> 01:09:19,214
Go along with
whatever I do, okay?
1018
01:09:19,216 --> 01:09:20,581
Okay.
1019
01:09:32,956 --> 01:09:34,988
So,
what's the word on you two?
1020
01:09:34,990 --> 01:09:38,690
Are you married?
Obviously, you're...
1021
01:09:38,692 --> 01:09:41,957
Hack crooks if you can't pull
off a discount store job.
1022
01:09:44,026 --> 01:09:46,692
What were you planning to steal?
A little hair spray?
1023
01:09:51,194 --> 01:09:52,259
Sorry.
1024
01:09:56,462 --> 01:09:57,694
Lady, you got a job?
1025
01:09:59,797 --> 01:10:01,295
No.
1026
01:10:01,297 --> 01:10:02,695
Well, then don't knock ours.
1027
01:10:03,664 --> 01:10:05,796
Crime isn't a job.
It's a sickness.
1028
01:10:10,800 --> 01:10:12,131
Whoops.
1029
01:10:13,033 --> 01:10:14,297
Anyone have some change?
1030
01:10:26,171 --> 01:10:29,137
You look like a lady
in need of a quarter.
1031
01:10:29,139 --> 01:10:31,470
I might need more
than just a quarter.
1032
01:10:34,140 --> 01:10:36,839
You know...
No.
1033
01:10:36,841 --> 01:10:38,706
You and I could
make a lot of money.
1034
01:10:38,708 --> 01:10:41,641
Honey,
me and Nestor are partners.
1035
01:10:41,643 --> 01:10:43,742
Okay? We don't need a third.
1036
01:10:43,744 --> 01:10:46,276
You don't know what you need,
so why don't you shut up?
1037
01:10:49,679 --> 01:10:51,711
Hop on.
1038
01:11:07,884 --> 01:11:09,550
Now.
1039
01:11:10,184 --> 01:11:11,917
Let's go now.
1040
01:11:13,352 --> 01:11:14,583
Know what you are?
1041
01:11:14,585 --> 01:11:15,717
Yeah.
1042
01:11:15,719 --> 01:11:18,618
You are one
good-looking ball of trouble.
1043
01:11:21,821 --> 01:11:23,053
Good.
1044
01:12:00,209 --> 01:12:01,674
What do you think,
for the car?
1045
01:12:01,676 --> 01:12:03,241
This one?
1046
01:12:03,243 --> 01:12:06,509
No, the whole thing.
We'll just lay it down in the back.
1047
01:12:06,511 --> 01:12:08,576
We got
multi-cassette capabilities.
1048
01:12:08,578 --> 01:12:10,077
Think of the sound.
1049
01:12:37,393 --> 01:12:40,525
Let me just tell you.
I'm not helping you load your car.
1050
01:12:40,527 --> 01:12:42,393
Think again, boy.
1051
01:12:42,395 --> 01:12:46,194
You're not going to take the stolen merchandise out of the store.
No.
1052
01:12:46,196 --> 01:12:47,360
I'm not gonna let you.
1053
01:12:47,362 --> 01:12:48,861
Get out.
1054
01:12:48,863 --> 01:12:50,027
It's stolen. All of it!
1055
01:12:50,029 --> 01:12:51,194
- Give me that!
- No!
1056
01:12:51,196 --> 01:12:53,195
It's mine!
Give it to me!
1057
01:12:53,197 --> 01:12:54,528
It's mine.
1058
01:12:58,964 --> 01:13:01,263
But where... Wait a minute.
1059
01:13:04,700 --> 01:13:06,031
You're not going with them?
1060
01:13:06,033 --> 01:13:07,298
Yeah.
1061
01:13:08,366 --> 01:13:10,098
You'll be an accessory.
1062
01:13:11,700 --> 01:13:13,865
So?
1063
01:13:13,867 --> 01:13:15,866
So? You don't know
anything about them.
1064
01:13:15,868 --> 01:13:17,867
You certainly don't
know anything about him.
1065
01:13:17,869 --> 01:13:19,368
These are
hardened criminals here!
1066
01:13:19,370 --> 01:13:21,469
Okay, come here.
That's enough. That's enough!
1067
01:13:21,471 --> 01:13:22,535
Gil.
1068
01:13:24,938 --> 01:13:27,604
Don't waste your time.
You could get a hernia.
1069
01:13:27,606 --> 01:13:29,771
You know,
if my foot could talk,
1070
01:13:29,773 --> 01:13:32,773
it would say,
"May I please go up this geek's ass?"
1071
01:13:32,775 --> 01:13:33,973
Forget him!
Forget him.
1072
01:13:33,975 --> 01:13:35,607
Come on! All right.
1073
01:13:35,609 --> 01:13:38,374
He's no use to us. After all,
the guy's built like an oyster.
1074
01:13:38,376 --> 01:13:39,941
Listen, little mister.
1075
01:13:42,577 --> 01:13:44,242
If you tell on us,
1076
01:13:44,244 --> 01:13:45,609
I'll kill you.
1077
01:13:51,580 --> 01:13:52,844
Fine.
1078
01:13:57,914 --> 01:13:59,779
Jim.
1079
01:14:08,285 --> 01:14:09,883
Don't be an ass.
1080
01:14:12,553 --> 01:14:15,118
Okay, Jimbo?
1081
01:14:17,221 --> 01:14:19,019
Let's go, shall we?
1082
01:14:46,568 --> 01:14:47,967
Ahem.
1083
01:14:48,969 --> 01:14:50,367
Come on, come on, come on!
1084
01:15:08,941 --> 01:15:11,473
I got 'em.
I got 'em. I got 'em.
1085
01:16:34,787 --> 01:16:37,552
Thatwasn't a store robbery.
1086
01:16:37,554 --> 01:16:39,886
That was an assassination.
1087
01:16:39,888 --> 01:16:41,953
That wasn't a clerk.
That was a wise guy.
1088
01:16:42,789 --> 01:16:44,888
How do I know?
1089
01:16:44,890 --> 01:16:48,223
I spent a little time with the FBI's organized crime unit.
1090
01:16:48,225 --> 01:16:50,190
I guess you could say that I'm intimately knowledgeable
1091
01:16:50,192 --> 01:16:52,057
with the seedy and rancorous
workings of the mob
1092
01:16:52,059 --> 01:16:54,825
in the Midwest
section of this country.
1093
01:16:54,827 --> 01:16:57,693
Let me just say,I know a gangland slaying when I see one,
1094
01:16:57,695 --> 01:16:59,360
and that's exactlywhat this baby is.
1095
01:17:01,329 --> 01:17:05,062
I'd look into myself personally,but I got a date tonight.
1096
01:17:13,635 --> 01:17:15,599
Attention Target shoppers.
1097
01:18:03,423 --> 01:18:04,855
Jim!
1098
01:18:59,787 --> 01:19:02,353
He is so cool.
78691
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