Original subtitles

Dad?

Dad!

You're driving too fast.

At the moment, mate,

there's no such thing as too fast, all right?

So you just be grateful

that I came to get you at 1:00 in the morning

because of a fucking pillow, all right?

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com

Can we turn around and go back?

To the school trip. I've changed my mind.

You are already the boy

who ran away from the school trip.

You do not want to be the boy

who immediately ran back to the school trip.

Will I always be the boy who ran away from the school trip?

Oh, for... no.

It's yesterday's chip wrappings.

No, it's tomorrow's chip paper... what is it?

I don't know what you're saying.

I'm just saying, people will forget it.

You were on a school trip, then you weren't.

See, the thing is, when I realized I didn't have my pillow,

I just kept thinking about having to sleep

on a not-mine pillow.

And then I went outside for some air,

and this boy called Jacob told the teacher

I was having a panic attack.

- But you weren't? - No, I wasn't.

I told them not to call you, Dad.

You've just gotta remember to pack your pillow, mate.

Or learn to sleep without it. It's just a pillow.

No, I know.

And I also know it's not just a pillow.

No, I know.

In.

Hey.

What's going on, Lukey?

I'm tired, Mum. Could we talk tomorrow?

Sure.

Hey... hang on, where are you off to?

I've had three service station coffees,

and I am wired up like a fucking Christmas tree.

I'm going for a drive.

Well, where will you go?

Around and about.

I need to decompress, I'm sorry.

So you're unwinding from driving

by doing more driving?

Yeah.

Hey.

Oh, uh, your mum's on her way.

She's been calling.

Well, what does she need to talk about in person?

It's either bad news or good news,

and I can't handle either at the moment.

Right, I'm gonna have a shower.

- Paul? - Mm-hmm?

Where did you go last night?

Just drove around.

Okay.

You're prompt, Hi, Alex.

We brought breakfast!

Oh.

Great.

No pancakes for Leah.

Kein pfannkuchen fur Leah.

Danke, Alex.

Sometimes we speak German to each other.

Fuck knows why.

It amuses us.

Don't you like pancakes, Granny?

I love them. I just don't eat them.

Because if I do, I balloon.

You do not balloon.

I'm the one who balloons.

One slice of cheesecake and I go full Hindenburg.

Anyways...

Anyway, anyway, before you start eating,

I haven't seen much of any of you recently

because I have been unable to tear myself away

from this magnificent man here.

I wouldn't say magnificent,

but you're absolutely allowed to.

We've been dating for a while now, and...

well...

People of our vintage have to...

grab our chances when we can,

so long story short,

- I've asked Leah to marry me. - And I've said yes.

- And I booked a venue. - And I've bought my outfit.

And I've paid for the honeymoon.

Wow, that... that's very sudden.

- That's amazing, Granny. - Yeah, congratulations.

Yes, absolutely. We couldn't be happier for you.

So how are the pancakes?

Who wants coffee?

- Hello. - Hey.

Are you okay?

Yeah, um...

Are we okay?

Well, it's just your mum getting married, it's...

a pretty big thing.

Me kissing another man is a pretty big thing.

Mm.

It's not just gonna go away on its own.

We can't just keep not talking about it.

We're not the Royal Family.

Yeah, look, I'm pretty tired.

Let's do this later...

I have to tell you something.

Luke told me something bad and I said I wouldn't snake.

Bit late now.

Luke.

Oi.

Ava says you're not going to school tomorrow.

Thanks, snaky.

Mate?

Dad said I'd always be

the boy who ran away from the school trip.

I immediately retracted it.

You won't, Luke. No one will care.

They will. You know they will.

I'm not going back.

I'm a school refuser.

You really aren't.

No one will know about your pillow.

Jacob does.

I love you, Mum and Dad, but I'm not going back.

Okay, no, he's going.

You are going to school.

You're not gonna stay at home because of some fucking pillow.

Do you understand me?

I understand you.

Why can't life just be really, really easy?

That would work for me.

You still want to be with me?

Of course. Of course I do.

After all this time,

don't you know how much I love you?

You have kissed someone else.

So even if I did know,

I'm not that convinced now.

We can't keep avoiding this.

No, we talked about it.

You wanted it all to stop, so you kissed someone else.

It's so much more than that.

I feel like a fucking husk, Paul.

You are not a husk.

You can spadge out babies on your deathbed

like Charlie fucking Chaplin.

I feel worn

and ugly, and for two seconds,

I tried to pretend I wasn't a husk,

and I shouldn't have done it.

But now, we have to deal with it.

Hmm.

I'm gonna go out.

It's midnight.

Are you a cat burglar?

I won't be able to sleep, Ally.

You haven't tried.

Come on, Luke. We're leaving in five.

Sorry, Dad, I'm not going.

No, no, no. Mate.

You definitely are going.

Get your uniform on.

Christ.

- Mate, get up. - What's going on?

Get out of that bed, Luke.

I swear to Christ, I'll fucking pull you out.

- Paul, no. Come on. - I'm not messing around with you.

- I will. - I will sort this out.

Just go upstairs with Ava, please.

- Hey. - Yeah?

I'm calling in sick. I'll stay with him.

Oh, this is bullshit.

I will phone the school and I'll explain what's happening.

It's madness, Ally. Fuck.

How are we letting our child bunk off school?

And how have we become these weak, useless fucking enablers?

He's having a tough time mentally.

Well, join the club!

Geez, if I checked out every time I felt mentally ill,

I'd... I don't know.

Drive around London all night?

Carl?

Paul, how are you?

A rainbow 'round my fucking shoulders, Carl.

- How are you? - Oh, you know, can't complain.

Right.

He's driving around all fucking night

like Robert DeNiro.

In what?

In "Taxi Driver," you div.

What did you think I meant?

"Meet The Fockers"

or "Big Shitty Grandad" or whatever it is?

Oh, hang on, I'll call you back, Kee.

Hey, I can't stay home tomorrow,

so I'm gonna have to ask Granny and Grandpa to come.

I can be here on my own.

No, you couldn't.

- Hi. - Hi.

- How was Grace's? - Good.

Did you say thank you for the lift home?

Mum, it's me.

I say thank you every five seconds.

Where's Dad?

Oh, he's not home yet.

Luke, can you help me with my homework?

- Really? - Really.

Sorry about the pillow thing.

Yeah, right. Laugh it up.

No, I mean it.

You know Grace knows Jacob's sister?

Yeah, so?

Well, she says Jacob worries a lot.

Anxiety worries.

Jacob?

He's really confident.

No one ever messes with him.

Well, apparently, he understands panic attacks

and feeling weird and all that.

Right, okay.

I was gonna go and talk to him.

Oh, please don't talk to him.

It could make going back to school easier,

and it could help Mum and Dad.

They're really stressed,

and I do not want to spend Boxing Day

at some dingy, rented flat

that Dad will move into after they've split up.

Oh.

Okay, but please don't make me look bad.

Now, do my homework.

He's not even picking up now.

Are we fucked, do you think?

Does it feel like you are?

No, I don't know.

Sorry. Rude.

You do look very tired, Darren.

Well, that's being a temporary single parent.

Twins are hard work. Catches up with you.

Has Karen gone on another holiday?

Still on the same one.

What? Jesus Christ.

How long has that been for now?

Nine weeks.

She's left me, hasn't she?

- Hi. - Hey.

- Is Luke up? - Yeah.

I spoke to the school yesterday.

They were pretty supportive.

All right. But he's going in today?

- No. - Fuck's sake.

Mate, this isn't a joke. Do you want me to go to prison?

- Why, are you gonna kill me? - Of course not.

No, because you're not going to school.

- Dad, I... - I am sorry

that you're worried about going back.

But school is hard, Luke.

For everyone. It just is.

So get down there, pack your bag,

get your uniform on, now.

There is other shit going on in this house.

Maybe you and Mum should deal with that.

I'm sorry? What did you say?

- Paul. - I don't want to go back.

Well, I don't care.

I did have a panic attack.

- I knew it. - Lukey.

Sorry.

What can I say, Luke? I'm sorry. Life's tough.

Wow. Thanks, Dad.

No, I'm trying to help you.

Yeah, toughen me up so I'll be just like you.

- Mate... - That's really helpful.

Oh, fuck.

Bloody hell, have you been in those women's toilets?

- No, I haven't. - Ugh, they're disgusting.

They're really, really horrible.

- What are the men's like? - Fine.

I only ever use the urinals.

Can't poo at work.

I'm not alone. 50% of men can't. I saw it somewhere.

Where?

"Tatler."

Oh, your phone rang.

Oh.

Voicemail? Who leaves a voicemail?

Oh, fuck, it's Paul.

Hey, hon, it's me. Um...

listen, I've been thinking about what Luke said,

about us needing to...

get our shit together, and maybe I have been...

not a prick as such, but...

well, I haven't helped. Put it that way.

Anyway, I'm in tonight. I won't be driving around.

So let's talk.

Okay, see you.

Oh, good. That is good progress.

Oh, I was wrong.

It wasn't "Tatler." it was "LADbible."

- Did you touch that? - No.

Why would I touch that?

- Hi. - Hi.

Where are the kids?

Ava just got back from Grace's,

and she went straight down to Luke's room.

Right. Well, thank you so much.

You guys been okay?

We've watched the whole first series of "The Wire".

Not with Luke?

School sent him some work,

so he did it downstairs.

Is Luke off school again tomorrow?

Yeah, so you could start on season two.

Don't drop that on yourself.

Little 'kash on my top?

I had a white school shirt,

and Granny never let me eat anything in it.

Do you think Granny will wear white to her wedding?

Mm, definitely.

Plus 40 bridesmaids, a tiara, and glass slippers.

I'm going to school tomorrow.

Okay. Well, great.

How come?

Ava spoke to Jacob.

- He gets anxious too. - Mm-hmm.

So he told everyone that I got sent home

from the school trip for smoking outside.

- I like the sound of Jacob. - Hmm.

Everyone thinks I'm a legend.

Well, that's good, mate.

That's very good.

Look, I know I've been hard on you, Luke.

I hope you don't hate me too much.

No.

It's 'cause I love you, you know.

I know.

- No! - Oh.

What did I say? I literally said it.

I'm sorry.

I'm not washing that. You're washing that.

On the banks of the Thames.

Two bloody great rocks in your hand.

Look, I know that people sometimes kiss other people.

I'm not an idiot.

Oh, shit, we're doing this now?

Yes. I thought you wanted to.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just...

Can I just get the dishwasher on?

Okay. Wait, sorry. It's not starting.

Fuck's sake.

Yes. Sorry. Okay.

Good?

It's... yeah. Um...

I feel so bad about what happened because...

I wanted you to feel...

beautiful.

And now that we're not gonna have another baby,

I won't get the chance

to be a better dad.

I mean, to have another go.

I was sure I'd be so much better with a new one.

I understand.

Luke's okay, Paul.

Yeah, I'm not sure, 'cause...

He hasn't got any friends.

I mean, not a single one, I don't think.

He's just this loner, and...

that's not healthy.

I mean, I know this kid helped out,

and that's lovely,

but fundamentally, Luke is a troubled boy

with a pillow problem.

We'll get it sorted. We just have to be patient.

Hmm.

You're not a husk, you know.

Clinically, I am, actually.

It... it, um... it feels quite shit

knowing that you can't go back either.

Like, just...

You really can't go back.

Well, I can spadge out babies on my deathbed.

You can.

It wasn't even a proper kiss.

And I regretted it the moment it happened.

But you wanted to.

I didn't want to. I just... did.

What's that mean?

It means I was a dick, once.

- Once? - Once. That's all.

Stop now, okay? Enough.

Just... let's be friends, please.

Friends again.

Let's try that, then.

Oh, fucking pillow.

Shh, shh, shh. Go on, then.

Good boy. There you go.

Come on.

Oh, bugger and piss. I meant to call you.

- What? - Oh, shit.

Morning.

He's going in.

- Good on you, Lukey. - Huh.

We'll watch "The Wire" some other time.

We've still got hours of "Bergerac" on video

to catch up on.

Mum, Dad, we better make a move.

Thanks for coming. Sorry about that.

Ava... Ava, have a good day at school,

I love you. See you.

Why don't you walk with us?

Yeah?

Well done, mate.

- I know it's scary. - Yeah.

Yeah, it's gonna be all right, though.

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com