All language subtitles for station.19.s04e12.1080p.web.h264-ggwp_Track03

♪ Hey, yah, oh, hey, yah ♪

♪ Hey, yah, oh, hey, yah ♪

♪ Bring it on ♪

♪ Hard time come ♪

♪ That was nothing now ♪

♪ Ooh, how you like it now? ♪

♪ Bring it on ♪

♪ Yeah‐ah‐ah‐ah‐ah ♪

♪ Ahhh‐ahh‐ahh‐ahh ♪

♪ Bad days, rat race ♪

♪ Mud in the face days,
scream and shout ♪

♪ Trying to take you out ♪

♪ Oh, I can make it louder
than thunder ♪

♪ When you go down,
who you come to? ♪

♪ Bring it on ♪

♪ Hard time come ♪

♪ That was nothing now ♪

♪ Ooh, how you like it now? ♪

♪ Bring it on ♪

♪ Yeah‐ah‐ah‐ah‐ah ♪

♪ Ahhh‐ahh‐ahh ♪

♪ Hey, yah, oh, hey, yah ♪

♪ Hey, yah, one more time ♪

♪ Bring it on ♪

[ Doors slam ]

Maya: I know it's been
a long night, team,

and we have a long shift
ahead of us,

but I want you all
to know that ‐‐
Diane.

Jack.
Don't worry.

I got a rapid test
this morning,

so I'm clean
as a whistle.

Uh, what are y‐‐
What is she ‐‐

I asked her to come.

There's been a death,
and you are all grieving,

so I asked her
to come.

I'm sorr‐‐ You me‐‐
[ Stammers ]

You talking about
George Floyd?
Dean: You brought in
a therapist

to help us process the death
of George Floyd?

I did.

I feel
powerless to help,

and this felt like
something I could do.

Diane: There are not
many fire captains

who would treat a moment
of national crisis

like an internal tragedy,
and your captain is.

I respect it,

so I'm honored to be here
to help however I can.

I don't need you
to talk about Mr. Floyd.

I'm not gonna make you
talk to me at all.

This isn't mandatory.

I'm just here
if you need me.

[ Door opens ]

♪♪

[ Doors close ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Breathing shakily ]

♪♪

[ Breathes deeply ]

♪♪

[ Ringing ]

Carina: You're bold,
and you're trying.

Right or wrong,
you tried something today.

You tried something
to help.

Thank you.

I love you.

[ Cellphone beeps ]

How do you do it?
I mean, how do you ‐‐

I‐I‐I know you have to be
as shaken up as I am,

so how do you ‐‐

How do I do my job?
Well, yeah.

You fought a fire
this morning.

How did you do it?

I pushed my pain aside
and did what had to be done.

Same.

I saw what happened to
Dean Miller.

He's suing
the police department,

and he's right
to do it.

But?

[ Clears throat ]

But, uh ‐‐ uh, it ‐‐
it makes me uncomfortable.

Because he's
a firefighter

and we're supposed to shut up
and look pretty?

No,
because when the police

made me lie down on the street
like an animal

during
a routine traffic stop ‐‐

You didn't sue.

I didn't do
much of anything at all.

♪♪

I did yell, you know,
whi‐‐ which was...

♪♪

[ Sirens wailing ]

♪♪

I feel like
a hypocrite.

A hypocrite?
Yeah.
I have two kids.

I have a new son
since we last spoke.

Congratulations.
Thanks.

You get any sleep?
Well, he's 18, so, you know...

Oh.

While I'm not losing sleep
because of him ‐‐

You're losing sleep
over him.

Yeah.

Anyway,
m‐my wife and I, we ‐‐

we gave "the talk"

and explained
that young Black men

don't get to behave
any old way they want

when dealing
with the police.

We told them to do whatever
it took to get home safe.

But when I had a run‐in
with the police myself,

I ‐‐ I‐I yelled
at that officer

as he
got into his car.

I mean, if my boys had yelled
at a cop like that, I ‐‐

You'd be upset
with them?

Well, hell, yes,
I'd be upset!

I'd...[ Sighs ]

But I'd also
be proud.

U‐‐ Because they'd
be right.

You know,
I was right.

Miller was right.

But y‐you can't
do that.

You can't yell at a cop
because, you know, w‐‐

because they've got a gun,
you know?

They're given authority.

They have the power t‐‐
[ Sighs ]

D‐Do you have kids?

Three teenagers.

Oh, wow. Okay, so, you get
just how frustrating

and infuriating it is
to pour every ounce

of energy
and brain power you have

into them to ‐‐
to try and mold them

into confident
young men ‐‐

to make them
honestly believe

that they can
accomplish anything,

to ‐‐ to work so hard
to get them to s‐stand tall

and feel good
in their own skin ‐‐

only to then
have to tell them that

because of the color
of that skin,

they have to shrink

when in the presence
of a police officer.

Do you tell them that?

Do you tell them
to shrink?

No.

No, I ‐‐ I don't tell them
to shrink.

I ‐‐

[Sighs]

I tell them to stand
with dignity,

and I tell them
to de‐escalate.

I‐I tell them that in any
confrontational situation,

their job
is to de‐escalate.

But it should be
the cop's job.

You're right.
It should.

[ Clears throat ]

So, let me just make sure
I have this straight.

You're mad at yourself
that you didn't do more

after that cop
treated you that way,

and you're mad at yourself
that you didn't do less

after that cop
treated you that way.

Because Miller's
doing more,

and because you want your boys
to do less.

Look...

I'm exhausted, you know?

[ Stammers ]

I'm exhausted by navigating
a ‐‐ a w‐‐ a world

that sees me and ‐‐
and my kids as a threat.

I mean,
it's ‐‐ it's this ‐‐

it's this constant
nagging worry

that ‐‐
that never goes away.

And i‐if I do manage to forget
and just ‐‐

you know,
just exist...

♪♪

...a comment or a look

or the news that a man
has been killed in the street

reminds me
that I have to be careful.

And ‐‐ And it steals all of
my mental and emotional energy

that I should be giving
to my wife

and my kids
and my health.

Is something going on
with your health?

♪♪

Being Black in America is
a life‐threatening condition.

Other than that...

♪♪

Seattle protests continued late
into the evening last night

with police presence
on the scene.

Should we go?

Can we?

I mean,
after shift.

No, still ‐‐
can we?
Oh, you mean ‐‐

Because we're FD.

I mean,
is that an official policy?

Do they have to say anything?
We know.

Well,
it's a free country, so...

In theory.

But the Department's
a public entity.

And the protests
are considered anti‐police.
[ Laughs ]

'Cause asking
for our right to live

is inherently
anti‐police,

and nobody seems to...

realize
that's the problem.

[ Sighs ]

[ Telephone rings ]

Any takers?

Just one, so far.

And you.
What?

Sit.
No, I'm not ‐‐

You're what? You're ‐‐ You're ‐‐
You're not grieving?

You had
a happy little firehouse

where everyone
was best friends

and racial disparity
was not a hot topic.

And now?
Everything has changed.

Everything and nothing.

I know fire.

I mean, I'm the person
that studies them for fun.

But this fire ‐‐

This fire
is beneath our feet.

It's built into
every foundation ‐‐

our history,
language, n‐news coverage.

It's everywhere.
I mean, we vent fires

to let out
the hot smoke and gasses

so that we can contain
the fire,

but I don't see
how we can contain this,

let alone
put it out.

And growing up,
we were taught about

Black history
and the Civil Rights movement.

We were taught to believe
that they had beat it.

And I think,
on some level,

that belief
was still inside of me,

because I didn't listen to Dean,
and I didn't listen

to the mothers
of those kidnapped girls,

and I am so embarrassed
saying that to you.

Well, you were taught that
in school...

and probably also
at home.

And that teaching,

it's the coal
that keeps the fire hot.

When I was a child

and I learned about
the Native American genocide,

I pictured
one small village ‐‐

one small village of men
with feathers in their hair

who gave
the white people turkey

and then got mad
that they wouldn't leave.

Now,
I pictured it because

those were the literal pictures
in my history books.

And even though
I knew

that my people
had been stolen from their homes

and brought here
chained up on ships,

somehow,
I believed that textbook.

I was 35 years old
when I learned that in 1492,

Columbus sailed
the ocean blue,

and in the wake
of that,

millions upon millions
of people

who had been living here
for 15,000 years

were extinguished.

And the ones who survived
were fighting every day

against a culture

that still wants to pretend
they don't exist.

We learn
when we learn.

And the shame
we feel

at having taken so long
to learn,

well, that can be useful
as long as we use it well.

Once we know better,
we have to do better.

When I was 13,
I ran cross country and track,

and during the off‐season,
my dad would train...

[ All panting ]
...a group of us girls
who ran both.

And he would
push us too hard,

and when
I didn't hit a drill

the way
he wanted me to...
[ Yells indistinctly ]

...he'd make me do it
over and over and over

until I would collapse
on the ground.

And my dad
would leave me there,

and one by one,

my team members
would lie down next to me.

Face to the concrete,
eyes on me, silent.

Giving me space,
but...

also making sure
I wasn't alone.

And my instinct
is that

that is
what I have to do

for the Black members
of my team ‐‐

to quietly show up

and let them know
that I support them.

But I think
that instinct is wrong,

because when my friends and I
were 13,

we didn't have
the capacity

to stand up against
an abusive power.

And now I do.

I ‐‐ I have the power
to stand up

and say
when something is wrong.

I mean,
I have the power

to call out injustices
when I see them.

I have...

the power to make sure
that everyone can breathe.

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

[ Footsteps approaching ]

Hey.
Hey.

The protests
have really grown.

Yeah, I saw.

[ Inhales deeply ]

What happened to you?
You get into a bar fight?

[ Laughs ]

Yeah, with an SCBA.

You okay?
Nope.

You gonna talk
to Diane?

I doubt it.

[ Clears throat ]

Yep.

♪♪

[ Refrigerator door opens ]

[ Indistinct talking on TV ]

God,
look at that.

It's just getting

bigger
and bigger, hmm?

Mm‐hmm.
It's all over
the world.

Almost makes you...

hopeful?

Take this.
[ Laughs ]

Turn to channel 17.

And let me get that.

What?
So you don't
throw it across the room.

Dixon:
...the news in Minneapolis.

We stand in support
of our communities,

no matter their color.

Oh, God.
Give me that coffee cup back.

This little play‐act

has been on loop
for half an hour now,

and these stations
are eating it up.

Like he's some shining example
of PD valor.

Oh, God, I just threw up
in my mouth a little bit,

I think.
Well, get ready
to throw up some more.

As far as any question about
where this department stands

on the issue of Black Lives...

[ Camera shutters clicking ]

I know this little earthworm
is not gon‐‐

Mm.

Oh. What?!
Yeah.

Oh, come on.
That.

That is why
every time I wonder

whether to continue
with the lawsuit,

whether it's too much...

[ Sighs ]
...too little,
too fast, too slow.

It's ‐‐ It's something,
at least.

Some way
to fight against this ‐‐

this performative, uh ‐‐
uh, hypocritical, destructive...

Yeah.

[ Sighs ]
Yeah.

Travis.

Diane.

You know, the Department
pays me no matter what,

but, uh, there's only

so many crossword puzzles
I can do, so...

[ Laughs ]

You want to talk?
Oh, no.

I mean,
I ‐‐ I want to let

the Black firefighters
go first.

O‐‐ Do you see a line
outside this door?

I‐I know
the past couple months

can't have been easy
for you, either.

Hate crimes
are hate crimes,

no matter the race.

My mom got, uh ‐‐

Well, she was spit on
at the grocery store...

Mm.

...the same day that
George Floyd...

My, uh ‐‐
my mom was leaving,

and a crazy maskless woman
was like...

"If this Kung Flu
is real,

it's because of people
like her."

The woman both
didn't believe COVID was real

and was blaming my mom
for it.

♪♪

[ Whimpers ]

When my mom
told me,

it actually felt like
my organs were melting.
[ Sobs ]

I was so hot with rage,
you know,

remembering the times
when I was a kid,

and, you know,
people would say stuff to us.

And then,
we would just go home.

Never to
be discussed again.

And I ‐‐ And I didn't say
anything to anyone here about it

because, you know,
it didn't feel appropriate.

This giant, massive thing
was happening ‐‐

a hate crime.

[ Whimpering ]

[ Sobbing ]

An atrocity so much more brutal
and egregious.

You know, other people
were hurting so much more.

I'm sorry.

I don't know why
I'm talking to you about this.

I don't know why
I'm doing that.

Because I'm
a Black woman,

and my racist stuff
is "bigger"?

Something like that.

That doesn't work.

It doesn't not work.

I know
that since COVID,

hate crimes against
Asian Americans

have spiked
like crazy.

And yet, no one is talking
about it ‐‐

no one but us.

Not the media.

No the ‐‐
[ Scoffs ]

I mean,
grandmas and grandpas ‐‐

halmoni and haraboji.

People being shoved
into walls

and off
subway platforms.

You have
Filipina nurses

who say goodbye
to their families

and their own country
to come here

to work the front lines
of a pandemic

being attacked
in the streets.

A 2‐year‐old
and a 6‐year‐old

stabbed at
a big‐box store.

I mean, who stabs
a 2‐year‐old?

And why is that
not news?

Why are we so...

invisible?

I don't know.

I ‐‐ [ Sighs ]

I don't know.

I don't know either!

But how can we
even make a fuss

when this is all it is
relative to how horrifically

this country treats
Black people?

I mean,
I watched that whole video,

and in addition to the
absolute horror that I felt ‐‐

and feel ‐‐
I also thought...

..."What do we have
to even complain about?"

Travis,
it's all bad.

I know you're trying
to be generous,

but it is all bad.

There are no winners
in the Oppression Olympics.

Okay?

And it's gaslighting
if anyone tells you

or if
you tell yourself...

[ Sobbing ]
...to be okay
with the brutalities

being inflicted
on your community

because worse things
are happening to another.

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

She's just
trying to help.

Okay.

Robert ‐‐

Look,
I'm not gonna do it, okay?

I'm not
gonna just sit there

and ‐‐ and perform
my pain...

It's not ‐‐

...so that Bishop
can feel better, alright?

That's not ‐‐ [ Sighs ]
I'm not gonna do it.

Andy,
I just need a minute.

[ Buckle clinks ]
Okay.

I need a minute.

Okay. Okay.

[ Door opens ]
[ Sighs ]

You know,
it's always bothered me

when men would suddenly
see the world differently

after they had
a daughter.

Like,
I always wondered

why it took
them having a daughter

in order
to open their eyes.

But I guess
that's how it feels for me now.

I'm that guy.
[ Exhales sharply ]

The world changed
for me

because I fell in love
with a Black man,

and now I see
what he sees.

You know, I ‐‐ I worry
for him every day.

I‐I've taken on
the fear

that he doesn't
allow himself to feel.

I ‐‐ You know,
I've always seen it

and felt it
growing up.

I saw my dad
go through it.

People would call him
awful names,

and he would ‐‐
he would just walk by,

hold his head
up high.

A‐As a kid, people would look at
my last name,

and they would ask me,
"Where are you really from?"

[ Scoffs ]

I even had teachers
who would look really surprised

once they realized
that I was smart.

But, you know,
mostly...

[ Clicks tongue ]

[ Scoffs ]

It's okay to say it.
Mostly,
I got treated okay

because my skin
is light.

I pass for white.

And you feel guilty
about that?

[ Clicks tongue ]
I ‐‐

You know...
[ Clears throat ]

I swear to God,
I don't even know how I feel.

Uh,
can we walk?

This year has been
so much ‐‐ so much.

It's been just one thing
after another a‐‐

with no time
to recover.

And that video?
[ Scoffs ]

I feel ‐‐

[ Stammers ]
I feel betrayed.

I mean, j‐‐ I know
it's always been this way,

but I needed
to love a Black man ‐‐

I needed to be married
to a Black man ‐‐

in order to see
the whole picture?

Why? Why?
Where was my call for justice?

Like, why didn't I
see this before?

W‐‐ Why am I just
waking up now?

A lot of people
are waking up now,

and they're asking themselves
the same questions.

And you ‐‐
you're the daughter

of a fire captain.

Police have been
a part of your life

since you were
a little girl.

Cops and firefighters
were your family.

They would call me
Pruitita.

It means
Little Pruitt.

And there was this sort of
mental gymnastics going on

where, a‐as I got older,
I thought I knew

that police brutality
was rampant.

But at the same time,

I didn't count the cops
that I knew personally

into that issue.

You know,
it was double‐think.

Like, I never stopped
and questioned

why the good cops weren't
calling out the bad ones.

You know, not a single one
of my dad's old police friends

have stepped forward
to denounce the actions

of the officers
that murdered George Floyd?

Not a single one.

It is my instinct
as a therapist to comfort you,

but your comfort ‐‐

and everyone else's
comfort ‐‐

has been such a big part
of this problem

for so long.

[ Sighs ]

[ Ringing ]

Carina: You're beautiful,
and you're brave,

and you are ‐‐
Okay, no,
just listen.

I want
to tell everyone

that I support them
attending the protests.

I want to go.

I don't want
to silently support anymore.

I want to scream
in the streets.

Wonderful.
I'll join you.

You don't understand.

It's ‐‐ Things are bad enough
right now between 19 and PD.

The Department
won't like it.

Okay,
but they cannot

officially discipline you
for it, though, right?

No, no.

But [sighs]

I'm on a track,

and if
I support this publicly ‐‐

which everything in me
wants to do ‐‐

it'll take me
off that track.

Because people are setting
fires to police stations.

Yes, and because firefighters
work with the police, okay?

They're our brothers, too,

and there are
some bad apples, bu‐‐

Okay, they keep saying that
on the news.

The "one bad apple,"
"one bad apple."

And I didn't understand
what it meant,

so I looked it up,

and one bad apple
ruins the whole barrel.

That's the saying.

So, after we all saw
the horrific video,

why aren't
all the brothers ‐‐

why aren't
all the friends ‐‐

why isn't
every member of the police force

in the streets
demanding systemic change?

Why?

Because it'll take them
off of the track.

[ Knock on door ]

Can I ask you
a question?

Of course.

How do you
become a therapist?

I'm sorry. I'm not, uh,
often taken off‐guard.

Are you considering
a career change?

Oh, no. No, no, no.
I mean, not now.

I just ‐‐
It would be nice

to have a back‐up plan
that's better than

waiting tables
at my parents' restaurant

in case I get injured
or...

Or what?

Or if
I give myself permission

to throw a brick
at a police station

and it gets me
kicked out of FD.

It's, uh,
four years of undergrad

plus two years
of grad school.

I'm only like
eight credits shy

of my undergrad degree,
so...

In what?

Uh, it'll be a
Bachelor of Fine Arts.

A Bachelor
of ‐‐ of Fine Arts?

Yeah,
I studied musical theater.

Wow.

What are the classes
when you get

a Bachelor of Fine Arts
in musical theater?

Well, let's see.

Uh, there's voice
and speech,

and acting,
singing, ballet,

and also circus skills

like walking a tightrope
or juggling.

And they give you a degree
for that?

Well, they would have,
but the theater burned down,

and my favorite teacher
didn't make it out.

And I did make it out,
but I couldn't go back.

I couldn't finish,
so...

So...?

[ Sighs ] Uh, why are we
talking about this?

I don't know,
but if I had to guess,

I'd say it's because
you are desperate to talk

and think about
literally anything

besides that video.

Can you think
of anything...

No.

[ Sighs ]

I like
to fix things.

I see a fire
and I put it out.

But we have been having
this same fight for so long ‐‐

for so long.

I mean, my grandma used to
tell me about the sit‐ins

and boycotts she used to do
in the '60s.

And we're
how many moments

and movements
and marches later,

and what do we have
to show for it?

And to see so many people
act like this is news ‐‐

like this is just
some brand‐new information

they're just now
waking up to.

Do you know how many
white friends

texted me or emailed me
just out of the blue?
[ Laughs ]

Right? And everything
under this guise

of just checking in
and just asking how I was doing.

"How are you feeling?"
You know?

I ‐‐ [Laughs]
I knew they meant well,

but I also knew
what was behind it ‐‐ guilt.

So, I ‐‐ Pbht.
I don't know, how am I feeling?

How are you feeling?
'Cause that ‐‐ Like ‐‐
[ Laughing ]

[ Both laugh ]

'Cause as much
as I couldn't fix this problem,

at least
I knew it was there.

And for a better reason
than I was just

stuck inside my house
this time

and I couldn't
look away.

Yeah.

And the way they're
talking about him already.

Yeah.
T‐T‐The spin
already afoot

by usual suspects
in the media

trying to vilify him
rather than the murder of him.

You kn‐‐
You know what's almost

equally as enraging
to me, too?

It's the people patting
themselves on the back

trying to
humanize him.

It's like, you're trying
to humanize a person.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Do you really
have to look for proof

that we're people,
too?

[ Scoffs ]
Really?

We should care
more about him

because he was a ‐‐
a good father

or a loving brother

or a high‐school athlete
or he's fun at a party?

No, we ‐‐ we should
care about him

because he was
a person.

[ Voice breaking ]
George Floyd shouldn't have been

treated this way
because he's a person.

A cop...

...should not have had his knee
on his neck

until the last gasp of life
was choked out of him,

because he is
a person.

[ Sirens wailing in distance ]

[ Screams ]

[ Glass shatters ]

[ Sirens continue ]

♪♪

[ Scoffs ]

So, do you think I could
get into grad school, or...?

You really gonna throw
that brick?

[ Sirens wailing ]

[ Glass shatters ]

♪♪

♪♪

I just want
a back‐up plan.

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

Diane:
♪ Little ditty ♪

♪ About Jack
and Diane ♪

I'm sorry.

I'm sure I'm not the one
you're here to talk to.

I'm here to talk
to anyone who needs it.

I'm afraid to talk
to anyone right now.

Not just you ‐‐
t‐to anyone.

I'm afraid
to talk to my best friend.

Ah, Miller.

I'm afraid I'm gonna get
every word wrong,

or even one word.

Yeah, I know
I'm not a racist.

Ohh.
I‐I know that.

You do realize that
"I'm not racist" is kind of

the ‐‐ the club slogan
of racists?

And that's because
we live in a culture

built on
white supremacy,

so the racism
is baked in.

And we can't begin
to undo it

until we name it
and own it.

Okay, see,
this is exactly my point.

You know, I'm damned if I do,
and I'm damned if I don't.

Cops take a knee,
join the protests,

they're called hypocrites.

And Dixon?
He is a hypocrite.

He is a racist.

But it can't be that
across the board.

Jack, you come to see me
twice a month,

so I have to assume
that you like me, right?

You like
that I give you tough love

and tell it like it is
and don't pull punches?

And you came in here today
looking for some clarity.

So,
here it is.

I know what you mean

when you say
you aren't racist,

and I believe

that you do not have hatred
in your heart.

But you also
aren't damned.

Not even
in the least bit.

You're blessed
as hell.

I know you grew up
on the streets in the system,

and I'm not diminishing
your hardship,

but you are ‐‐
[ Indistinct shouting ]

Yeah, I'm privileged
because I'm white.

I get it.

When I was a kid ‐‐
when I was squatting ‐‐

after that last
foster home,

there were a few of us
who would hunker down

to make a place
for ourselves.

[ Sirens wailing ]
You know,
to stay out of the system.

Eventually,
the cops would find us,

and we'd run.

And it was scary.

But when
I was being chased,

not once
did I think that,

"If he catches me,
he might kill me."

♪♪

I never
feared for my life.

♪♪

But I know
some of my friends did.

I know
I'm privileged, Diane.

I watched
what those cops did to Miller,

I watched that video,

and I want
to blow up the world.

And?

And...

we're firefighters.

We need the cops,
and they need us.

And we can't all of a sudden
overnight decide

that the whole institution
is evil.

Some good guys
stayed silent,

and that
makes them bad.

Except, they're not
actually all bad.

They're individuals.

And I feel like
I'm not allowed to say that.

I'm afraid
to say anything.

Mm.

[ Inhales deeply ]

I was
a firefighter, too.

I have
cop buddies, too.

Our cop buddies
are not the point.

Do you know
what the 13th Amendment did?

Abolished slavery.

Except as a punishment
for a crime.

Yeah,
but that was like ‐‐

That's still the law.

It is still legal
to enslave Americans

as a punishment
for a crime.

And do you know
the statistics

of incarcerated Black folks
in America?

34%.

We are 34%
of the prison population,

but we only make up 13%
of this country's population.

That seem right
to you?

And you're thinking,

"Well, that's because
more Black people are poor,

so they have to resort
to crime.

So they
get arrested more.

Sucks for them, but, hey, you do
the crime, you do the time."

But how many crimes
did you commit, Jack,

when you were out there
on the streets?

Did you, uh, steal to eat?
Did you run from police?

Did you get drunk sometimes and
make a mess with your friends?

Yeah,
all of that.

But you never
went to prison.

Never went to jail.

Never had a gun
pointed at you.

Never have a knee
put on your neck.

When you make mistakes,
you get to learn from them.

When people who look like me
make any kind of mistake,

we go to prison...
or worse.

And way too often,
no mistake is needed.

We can laugh too loud
and they'll arrest us.

We can put our hands
in the air,

and they'll shoot us.

It's not in the past.

It's now.
It's still.

♪♪

And I know you don't have
hatred in your heart, Jack.

But that's not enough
anymore.

You have to
dig deeper.

When you're
too uncomfortable to talk

and you don't know
what to say?

That's okay.

Listen instead.

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

I know.

You want me
to talk to her.

No, I want you to do
whatever you need to do.

[ Footsteps retreat ]

[ Knock on door ]

Hey, there.
Yeah?

Is it alright
if we come in?

You guys okay?

You need medical attention
or anything?

Oh, no.
I was just hoping

someone could show my boys
around the station.

Can we
slide down the pole?

Sorry, but the station tours
are cancelled because of COVID.

I'm sorry.
Aww!

Can we go now?

Hey, guys, um ‐‐
just, um, wait for me

out there on the bench
for me, okay?
Ugh, fine.

I'll be right out.

Uh, look, u‐‐ sir,
I'm ‐‐ I'm sorry, but I...

My kids
saw the video.

They watched it.

I didn't tell them
that they could,

but it's all over
social media.

And before I even
got home from work,

they had watched it.

My 11‐year‐old slept with
his comfort blanket last night.

He dug it out of storage
and he hid it under his pillow.

He thought
I didn't see it.

He hasn't slept with that
since he was 8 years old.

They don't understand,

and I cannot find
any honest words

to explain it
to them.

But I saw your station
on the news,

and I knew that there were
Black firefighters here.

And I thought
that my boys should see

good people in uniform ‐‐
people that look like them.

So...please.

Stand back, sir.
Please.

You all have to sanitize,
alright?

Come on.
Let's go.

Hey, guys, come on!
Come on, boys.

Here you guys go.

[ Sniffles ]

[ Breathes deeply ]

[ Sniffles ]

[ Sniffles ]

Uh ‐‐ Uh...

[ Sighs, sniffles ]

[ Crying, sniffling ]

[ Breathing deeply ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Breathes unsteadily ]

Thanks.

[ Sniffles ]

[ Breathes deeply ]

[ Rubs hands ]

[ Inhales deeply ]

[ Door closes ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Inhales deeply ]

♪♪

See that?
[ Laughing ] Whoa!

This is Station 19.
Oh, this thing is huge!

Awesome.
Whoa, it's so ‐‐

Firefighter, baby!
Perfect, yeah.

Does it look good on me?
Of course it does, yeah!

I'm wearing
a firefighter helmet!
Whoa!

Unh!

Yeah, man!

Hey! Hi!
Hi!

Oh, hey!

Bye!
Bye!
Say thank you.

Sullivan: Come on.
Thank you!

[ Mutters indistinctly ]

[ Sighs ]

This one
was different.

This wasn't
just another video

of an innocent Black man
being shot by police.

This wasn't an officer
making a split‐second decision

that resulted in another
Black man losing his life.

This wasn't fight‐or‐flight
or panic‐induced impulse

or unconscious bias
or unnecessary escalation.

This was the murder
of an unarmed, defenseless,

compliant Black man

in the middle of the street
in broad daylight.

Right in front
of our eyes ‐‐

all of our eyes.

And, you know, white people
are finally realizing

that we aren't hysterical
or beating a dead horse.

They saw that white woman
in Central Park

casually use a racist
police system as a weapon,

and they're starting
to understand

that all of it renders us
Black people terrorized.

Hunted.

Exhausted by
everyday life.

And, you know,
I'm tired.

I'm ‐‐ And I'm mad,
and I'm sad.

And I'm tired for having to
explain why I'm mad and sad.

I'm mad because
I have to take a magic pause

every time I'm being tracked
by eyeballs in a store.

Or when people who are
in life‐threatening danger

choose to take their chances
by themselves

rather than being rescued
by a Black firefighter.

[ Scoffs ]

But, you know,
mostly, I'm scared.

I'm scared.

Because no matter
how tired I am,

how mad I get,
how sad I get,

there's nothing I can say
to change their minds.

There's nothing
I can do

that will make them see me
as a hardworking professional.

A loving husband.

Or just a man.

There's nothing that prevents
something like this

from happening
to me.

Nothing.

I'm scared because
I am eight minutes away

from being another
George Floyd.

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

We're a quiet bunch tonight.
[ Chuckles ]

Look, I'm just ‐‐
I'm just glad to see your faces.

You know,
know you're good and safe.

Are you sure
we can't go to the protest?

A bunch
of my friends are going.

They're all masked
and everything.

I'll follow your lead,
Ben.

Another Black Trans woman
was killed today.

Tuck ‐‐
I want to march, Aunt Roz.

I want to march for you
and for myself.

I want to march.

W‐W‐Why won't you
let us march?

Travis: You sure?
Hey.

It'll be great.

I was thinking tomorrow
after shift,

Captain Bishop
has given the all‐clear

for us
to go to a protest.

Us?

I'd like to go,
if you'll have me.

Uh ‐‐

Cool. [ Laughs ]
Vic: Yeah.

Um, but if anybody
comes at us with weapons,

it is your job to put your body
between us and them.

Got it.
Yeah,
he's not kidding.

I'm not kidding.

I kinda figured,
yeah.

Okay. [ Laughs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Chuckles ]

I was so desperate
for a promotion

that I was gonna try and stop
Miller's lawsuit,

which is the best shot we have
at anything changing.

Robert...

This demotion
has been humbling.

It's been humbling,

and I've had
so many dark thoughts.

Sometimes,
I doubt my own...

my own goodness.

No one is just good.

We ‐‐ We make mistakes,
and we learn from them,

and we do better
next time.

That's how
goodness works.

It's not
about purity.

It's about ‐‐
It's about growth.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Laughter, chatter ]
[ Sighs ]

Let's get into the car
real quick.
I ‐‐

19.

Hopefully this goes
without saying,

but although you have the right
to peacefully protest

and my
wholehearted support,

I trust that you will not engage
in any activity or action

that will bring discredit
to you, 19, or the SFD.

♪♪

19.

19.
19.
19.
19.

♪ That people do when
they have known true pain ♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]
♪ What choice was he given? ♪

♪ In this world
that we're livin' ♪

All:
No justice, no peace!

♪ When I see you ♪

♪ I see love ♪

♪ I see America ♪

No justice, no peace!
No justice, no peace!

♪ I feel your pain ♪

♪ I share your blood ♪

♪ And I see America ♪

No justice, no peace!

No justice, no peace!

♪ I see you ♪

♪ When I see you ♪

♪ I see love ♪

♪ I see love ♪

♪ I see America ♪
No justice, no peace!

No justice, no peace!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪