All language subtitles for donkey-x

In a village in the region of La Mancha,

whose name I don't
care to remember,

there lived not so long ago

one of those gentlemen
who keep a lance in the rack,

an old shield, a lean horse,
and a swift hound...

gaunt and wizened,

an early riser and a lover
of the hunt.

They say his name was
Don Quixote de la Mancha,

who spent his days reading
books of knight errantry,

which he loved
and enjoyed so much

that he completely lost it.

Now, all the fantasies
in those books

became such an obsession

that he thought of
nothing else

but duels, enchantments,

battles,
and impossible love,

until the day came

when he had the most extravagant
notion of all:

to call himself a knight errant

and go in search of
grand adventures,

just like all
the heroes in his books.

But Don Quixote needed a squire,

so he decided to work on
a neighboring farmer,

and although it wasn't easy,

he persisted
and promised so much

that in the end,

poor Sancho,
for that was his name,

agreed to go with him,

leaving behind his wife,
his land,

and all his possessions.

Now all he lacked in his
search for eternity

was a lady to
fall in love with

and yearn for.

You see, a knight errant
without love

is a knight
without a soul.

He suddenly recalled

a farm girl from
a nearby village.

Although he didn't actually
know her,

he'd been in love from afar,

and so was inspired to create
the damsel of his dreams.

And although that
lady never existed,

she would always be for him
his Dulcinea.

Dulcinea Del Toboso.

Not again, I'm fed up with this !

Who cares, anyhow ?

It's always
the same old yarn.

What are you saying ?

I mean, the book says
very clearly that--

Why should I bother
with some old book

when I was there
to see it for myself ?

You mean, you're Rucio,
Sancho's donkey ?

Hold it right there !

The only talking donkey
I know

is a friend of mine who
hangs out with some green ogre.

I'm a horse.

And it's about time
the world knew the truth.

The truth ?

What truth ?

It all began quite
some time ago,

after we got back
from that first adventure--

Quixote, Sancho, Rocinante,
and yours truly.

♪ new day ♪

♪ Ahh ♪

♪ new day ♪

♪ Ahh ♪

Ugh, it stinks of
donkey around here.

So where do you think
you're going, donkey ?

This road is for
horses only.

So what's this pig
doing here then ?

Are you blind ?

Can't you see what
a wonderful steed he is ?

I wasn't talking to you.

One day
I'll be a great horse,

and I'll do all kinds of
important stuff.

You'll see.

Just remember, you'll have to
pass the pony exams first.

Whoa, I'm afraid he'll have
a tough time at the practical.

No one will humiliate me
ever again.

♪ I don't know what I've been told ♪

♪ I don't know what I've been told ♪

♪ Discipline
will make you bold ♪

♪ Discipline
will make you bold ♪

♪ I don't know
what I've been told ♪

♪ I don't know
what I've been told ♪

♪ Discipline
will make you bold ♪

♪ Discipline
will make you bold ♪

♪ Hey ho ♪
♪ Hey ho ♪

♪ Hey ho ♪
♪ Hey ho ♪

Right, left,
right, left,

right, left, right, left--

Squad ! Positions !

I don't believe it.

Yes !

Three in a line.

And what exactly do you think
you're doing, James ?

It's perfect !

A hurricane wouldn't even
knock this lot down.

You're safe, I got ya.

Off, James.

Now !

Everything's under control.

You won't believe this,
Rocinante, it's incredible !

No screaming in the barn !

But--
No excuses in the barn !

Stop !

Hey, you-- you...
don't take another step !

What do you want?

We're not even meant to be
talking to each other.

Our masters might not
be speaking,

but you and I are horses-- Negative.

He's already made it clear,
he doesn't want to talk.

Look, buddy, when I was
working as a bodyguard

for Babieca, El Cid's horse,
we were right in the middle of

shooting a big scene
in Valencia--

Besides, it was greedy
Sancho's fault.

No, it was Quixote's fault,

and his absurd obsession
with chivalry and love,

which don't even exist.

Don't exist for you, maybe.

Horses like you turn their
life into a big, fat lie.

Look at yourself
here in this old barn,

a sad and ridiculous officer
with a handful of hens

and some little
squirt as a bodyguard ?

What are you gonna invade ?
The drinking trough ?

Rocinante,
you've become a coward.

Now you've
gone too far, pal.

We have to stop Quixote
from seeing this !

Stop him ?

But this is our
chance to get

some dignity
back in our lives,

make our dreams come true.

Your dreams, you mean.

But then you're just
the same as Quixote, a--

Say it, Why don't you ?

A fool !

Losers.

One word from you,
and he's mincemeat.

Don't you even
think about it!

Give that back !

This is really important !

Very, very important.

There's an end to
your dreams.

That Quixote lives in our house,

you haven't spoken in months,

and now, all of a sudden,
you've got to talk ?

Well, just make
sure you remind him

to pay the rent--
that's all !

This time it's different.

We're meeting at Bachelor
Carrasco's place--

mutual territory.

Who knows what trouble
he'll get you into now.

Oh, please !

What do you think you're doing
dressed like that, Sancho ?

This is a
Calf Klein occasion.

And what's
wrong with this ?

Ten years and still
like new.

Fits like a glove, too.

Hey, my friend.

Where would we be
without you ?

And you're not riding
that broken-down donkey !

Take the new horse.

Just her way of showing
affection.

My dear Sancho,
come in !

We were waiting for you.

Where's Quixote, then ?

Sancho.

Let's get this over with.

I've got the donkey
double-parked.

Gentlemen...

we have known one another
since childhood.

You, Quixote,
are the most famous

and cultivated in
the village.

After you, Bachelor.

And you, Sancho, wealthy
and respectable man.

You followed
him for a dream,

but it all went sour,
didn't it ?

He said I'd get to be

governor of an island
if I went with him.

Yeah, but we didn't
find Dulcinea.

You saw her,
but I didn't.

Because you
left me alone.

As you can see, there have
been quite a few letters

concerning that
book about you two.

You've even got
a fan club,

which isn't bad,

especially when you consider
that I, for example,

haven't had
a letter in years.

And on top of it all,

they flooded the region
with these pamphlets.

"I, Knight Of
The Crescent Moon,

"having learned
of the adventures

"of the knight errant
Don Quixote,

"do challenge him to a duel
in Barcelona this full moon.

"If I should win, Quixote
will hand over his arms

"and renounce
Dulcinea forever.

"But if Quixote be
the winner,

"I promise to reveal

"the true identity
of Dulcinea,

and will give her all my
treasures and possessions."

So what's all this
gotta do with me ?

You ?

My dear Sancho,
do I have to remind you

that you were the one
who went off with him

to resurrect this
whole chivalry thing ?

And now you are Quixote
and Sancho,

Sancho and Quixote--

an indivisible symbol of
this beautiful village,

its main heritage,
the pride of La Mancha !

You are everything !

And your point is ?

The truth is, Quixote
asked me to intercede.

Just shake hands,
can't you ?

Go along with him
on this new adventure.

Help him as I do,

for the sake
of friendship.

Well, he can forget about
Barcelona, for a start.

I cannot, in truth,
forget about Barcelona,

if that is where I shall find
the beautiful Dulcinea,

queen of my days
and princess of my nights.

For you, Quixote.

That old pile of junk ?

Extraordinary !

Ah, looks like
Teresa's girdle.

If I'm not mistaken,
this magnificent gem

is nothing less
than Esplandiana--

the armor of the mythical
knight Esplandian.

You seem to know
everything, Quixote.

Everything is in the books.

Please,
take this as a small sign

of Bachelor Carrasco's
commitment

to our beloved Quixote.

What about me, huh ?

Nothing !
For me, nothing !

Hmm...

Hmm.

Hah.

Hmm-hmm-hmm.

GiddyaP-

Oh, no.

Hah !

Hi-yah !

Oh, this is absurd.

We can't go on
like this.

Pay me and we're even.

But of course I will--
Yeah, right.

Just as soon as we
get back from Barcelona.

Oh, not again, please !

I already said no back there,
didn't I ?

I mean, what do you want?

Me to follow on another
mad escapade

just to get
dumped on again ?

Oh, but we'll show the world how
to live an exceptional life.

Forget it !

So that's a yes then ?

Look at them.

They're impatient
to be off.

Get out.

Between honor and money,
second is first.

Ooh, I'm with him.

Didn't I make
myself clear ?

Come on !
No !

My friend, a knight errant
is not one

who just does what
the world expects-- no.

He must live as his
heart dictates.

You forget I'm not
like you, Quixote.

I'm not a knight errant.

I'm just...
a simple man.

A swap !

Can I suggest
a straight swap ?

It was good to
see you again.

Yeah, good luck,
and have fun.

But I need you, Sancho !

You're the only one
who ever saw her.

Look, Quixote, I don't--

Okay, give me one good reason
why I should go.

Mmm, the treasure ?

Not bad, huh ?
That treasure--

How much are we
talking about?

I mean,
does it say anywhere ?

Well, then I need
another reason.

ls that you, sweetie ?

Just in time to help!

Hurry up, there's a lot to do today. Uh-oh.

Okay, sweetie.

But I get the treasure.

You can keep
the windmills.

Oh, no-- but who's gonna
take care of my chickens ?

Sancho... how should I put this ?

Have you got any
spare cash on you ?

Here we go again.

But what about me ?

Doesn't my opinion count for
anything around here ?

Sweetie ?

Are you there ?!

But if you don't want them to reach Barcelona,

why do you help them ?

To play to the gallery,
of course !

If I want to be famous,

I have to start
with my own village.

Here, everyone worships
Quixote,

and they will
believe I supported him.

And now ?

We have to stop them getting
to Barcelona at all costs.

I want to
humiliate them !

To get rid of them,

have their fame vanish
forever !

Quixote is already
wearing the first trap.

That armor is as dangerous
as his damn madness.

And now I'll
hire the services

of Sinister Knight,

and you will help execute
my foolproof plan.

Is that clear, Avellaneda ?

But does Sinister
really exist, then ?

Ooh.

My little chickens.

No, no, I said no !

I'm not going--

Um, excuse me !

Excuse me,
would you like to be an

authentic knight errant ?

Build your own armor
in easy installments.

Windmill or giant?

Check for yourselves
with today's special offer.

For sure it is--
Horrible.

Magnificent !

Or buy here, your own
copy of "Don Quixote."

So that of the book
was true.

You absolutely
have to own a copy

and pretend to have read it

if you want to be
anyone around here.

A bargain, 10 eurocrowns.

But I am Don Quixote.

Of course you are--
they all are.

8 eurocrowns ?

What are they
doing here ?

Paying to see
the fair Dulcinea

before the duel,
of course.

5 eurocrowns ?

Can this be possible ?

So who's written it ?

Miguel de Cervantes.

There's this great bit about
how Sancho found Dulcinea--

Okay, okay, I'll take it,
but tear out those pages

about Sancho and Dulcinea.

Is this-- by the sacred
laws of chivalry--

home to
the peerless Dulcinea ?

Hey, I don't need it
autographed.

You don't think
I'd sell the original

for 20 eurocrowns,
do you ?

But we said 5.

That was before I knew
it was an adaptation.

What's all this about
a book, then ?

What's not in books,
life will teach you.

I must pay my respects
to my true love !

Hey, you,
get in line.

I am Don Quixote
de la Mancha.

My beloved--

Get in line!

Hmm.

Relax, Sancho,
as soon as they see us,

they'll send
these impostors packing.

Invitation ?
Membership card ?

But--
Out !

No sneakers.

Next !

Noble guardian of the virtue
of the peerless Dulcinea--

please announce
the arrival of Don Quixote.

Let him in.

No, no, he's Quixote.

Actually, my squire,
here present,

and Dulcinea are
already acquainted.

Hmm.

A great honor.

100 eurocrowns.

Just to see her ?

Per person.

Discounts only for babies,
pensioners

and veterans of
the Battle of Lepanto.

Hmm ?
Hmm.

You !

And the other gentleman ?

I'll see her
in Barcelona.

Everything's free there.

But how will I know
it's truly her

without you by my side ?

Nice doing business
with you gentleman.

This way.

Hurry along now,
and no pushing.

If it's her,
just give me a sign.

ls it really you,
beautiful lady ?

Move back.

Well ?

How...
should I know ?

I can't see her face.

Move back to the line,
Pendejo.

Are you crazy ?

Well, technically, yeah.

Could you possibly draw
that curtain back

a little, my friend ?

I wait to count to five.

One... two--

You dare challenge me !

Three, four, cinco !

They're in trouble,
we've got to help !

No way, I can't
stand violence.

Coward.

So I guess this is where we
all get beaten to a pulp.

What's wrong with
that piece of junk ?

Well, according
to the legend...

the soul of
the Knight Esplandian

lives inside this armor.

Is there room in there
for the two of you ?

Allow me to express my sorrow
for all of this.

See how my heart
beats in torment.

My beloved one,
I always--

Perhaps you were going
a bit too fast for her.

Can I come in ?

They've kidnapped Dulcinea !

Sinister's forces
are at hand !

What have you done with our
little Dulcinea ?

No time to waste !

I must save my love.

Don't leave me here--

Ooh, whoops, ohh !

Confess !

Are you not at
Sinister's service ?

Uh-oh !

How dare you
claim such a thing ?

If I were you, I'd run !

I'm with you,
partner.

Let's get out of here.

That old piece of junk
gives me the willies.

Brother knights,
gentlemen,

who is Don Quixote ?

Oh, it's me !

And I say,
why be Don Quixote ?

Why not Lancelot, Percival,
Amadis,

King Arthur or
the Peers of France ?

Who are those ?

What kind of
knights are you ?

Because all of you are
knights, aren't you ?

Yeah !

Pursuing justice,
protecting widows,

helping orphans, and seeking
true love !

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely !

So why not do so
each in your own way ?

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

You, sir, what was
your name

before becoming
a fake Quixote ?

My name was Peter,
Peter the Pan Maker.

But there's got to be more
to life than that.

Quite so.

But why not as
yourself ?

Sir Peter,
the pan maker.

Hmm...

Sir Peter Pan.

Sir Peter Pan ?

Yes, I like it!

Before you know it, that name
will be as famous as...

Don Quixote.

You think so ?

Ridiculous.

And... you,
what's your name ?

My name ?

Remigio,
and I sell balloons.

They call me "Globus."

Sir Globus is...

good.

Then, who is Quixote ?

Not me, not me...

I entreat heaven to
protect you, my friends !

The world will remember
your deeds.

And one day, we shall
gather 'round the fire,

and with great joy, recall
our exploits !

To adventure !

Yes, to adventure !

And now what ?

Puh, they're all nuts.

You're a genius.

I'd have never
thought of that.

How do you mean ?

That nonsense you made up
to get rid of them.

It was no trick,
my friend.

True nights one and all.

Perhaps you too will
join us one day.

Come on, Sancho,

let us depart
to free my love

from the evil jaws
of Sinister.

But we don't even
know it was her.

It was.

Trust me !

Enough!

My Olympic days
are over !

Ohh, ooh...

Oh... ow.

But wasn't that
guy blind ?

Ugh, I do so hate
the countryside.

Not that I'm against
the occasional picnic

or anything, but--
pah !

Tastes like a dishcloth.

Hmm, how do you
imagine her ?

Who ?
Dulcinea.

I told you before, I don't
want to talk about love.

So far
as I'm concerned,

there's no such thing.

Could you imagine someone
searching the world for you,

just because you're
the way you are ?

Ugh, I think I prefer
eating a dishcloth.

One day, I'll be a horse,

and Dulcinea
will kiss me.

You don't say.

Now if you'll
excuse me,

I have important
business to attend to.

One more time, Sancho.

Tell me again.

What was she like ?

One in a million.

The fairest damsel
who ever took breath.

Quixote, what would happen
if Dulcinea...

didn't exist ?

My life would be
meaningless.

Well, that wouldn't
be so bad, would it?

And how was
her voice ?

Was it bright ?

Look, Quixote,
if I was a woman,

I'd think you were
a good man

and I'd give you a chance.

Seriously ?

Of course not.

I'm just saying that
to shut you up.

It's time to sleep.

Hmm.

Good night, Sancho.

Good night, Quixote.

Sancho!

What ?

Thanks for believing in me.

♪ And that's
why I love you ♪

♪ So don't
be afraid ♪

♪ To let them show ♪

Hey, boss !

Do you want to scare me
to death, or what ?

Everything's under control.

Ahh !

♪ In the field and on the lawn ♪

♪ Waking at the crack
of dawn ♪

♪ There's
no time for having fun ♪

♪ A rooster's job
is never done ♪

♪ In the barn
and in the yard ♪

♪ Laying eggs is
pretty hard... ♪

If that chicken can't
keep up the pace,

it's his problem.

They're so far ahead,
the way I see it,

we'll have to gallop
all day until sunset.

A great plan.

How very convincing.

♪ In the barn
and in-- ♪

Wake up, Sancho.

We must free my love.

Day is for work,
night is for rest.

It's already daylight.

I say it's night.

There's nothing wrong with stopping to eat.

Everyone needs to eat,
and so many people--

Help, help !

A damsel in distress.

So?

We must help her.

I can't hear a thing.

Ooh !

Ahh !

Will anyone help me ?

I'll take care of the lion,
and you save the fair lady.

But I don't
even know her !

Forward,
my great steed !

Who ? Sorry,
never heard of him.

Uh-oh.

Okay, so what do you
do when you come

face-to-face
with a wild lion ?

Tremble ?

Tremble, that's it ?

That's it.

Ahh !

Okay, okay, step aside,
I'll take care of this.

Everything's under control.

Hurry, there's no
time to waste.

Listen, lady,
take it easy.

We must act
immediately !

She's in great danger!

But the lion's coming
straight towards us.

Here I go !

Gah, did we have to
come all this way

just to make
fools of ourselves ?

Yahhh !
Get lost.

Oh, my !

Ooh, is-- is he dead ?

He's killed my Rucio.

Is he dead ?

Yah !

Stand, stand if you dare !

Ahh, ohh !

Thanks for the escort.

Your wish is our command.

Though, unfortunately, we can't
detain ourselves further,

as we are
pursuing the delinquents

who kidnapped my beloved
Dulcinea.

How romantic !

Let's go to
the castle.

I'm sure my husband
will send

a fearsome army
after those villains.

And besides, that means you'll
be able to rest a little.

Ay!

Attend to my guests

and take care of
their mounts.

Our fearsome army.

Ahh, chicken supper.

Oh.

Well, isn't that the lion--

Never fear.

Bartolo is only aggressive
outside the castle walls.

A little insecurity problem.

My respects, your grace.

Don Quixote de la Mancha,
at your faithful service.

Darling, I told
this brave knight

we'd help catch the kidnappers
of his beloved lady.

I guarantee that wagon
will never leave this land--

uh, because I imagine

they travel in a wagon,
don't they ?

Many thanks.

But I can't possibly
let anyone else perform

the duty that is mine alone.

You saved my love.

Permit me, in the name of
the sacred laws of chivalry,

to do the same for you.

Well, if you invoke
the laws of chivalry,

then I have no option.

First, we shall send
my army with Bartolo,

a great tracker.

And once they've found
the wicked miscreants,

it will fall to you
to free her.

But if you wish,
my men can beat them,

and whip them, drag them
along the ground

until they scream
and plead for mercy !

Darling...

Your commitment
is all too clear.

And your reward.

Ask whatever you wish,
and it shall be yours.

I consider myself
already paid in full.

And you, my friend,
from all I possess,

choose what you wish.

So, for example,
if I ask for food,

you'd give it to me ?
Done.

What else do you wish ?

Money ?
Can I ask for money ?

Done.

Hmm...

It is said that the wish
of the noble Sancho

is to be
governor of an island.

Yeah, right.

Can I ask for one of
those islands

with water all around it?

By luck, in my dominions,

there is just
such an island,

and it needs a governor.

An island, hey,
with water all around it !

But how can I leave you
on your own ?

After all the sacrifices
you have made,

I insist you take
immediate possession.

I have to tell Teresa.

Don't worry, we'll take care
of everything.

My friend, forgive me
if I ever doubted you.

All you ever promised
has come true.

To the new governor.

Governor Sancho Panza !

Your eyes--

your eyes are like...

two eyes.

That's just gone too far.

Your voice--
now, let me see.

How does your
voice sound ?

I don't believe this.

Hmm, you're such a seducer.

Huh ?

What the--

Well, when you know mares
like I know mares.

If I were you,
I'd come check this out.

Oh, get lost !

My dear governor, forgive me
for summoning you like this,

but I need your help !

Oh, right, governor.

Your wish is my command,
duchess.

Take this.

I understand you alone

have actually
seen this Dulcinea,

and I was wondering
what she is like.

Why do you ask ?

It's all there in this
new best-seller, you see,

everything that happened.

And Cervantes assures us
you never even saw Dulcinea.

And another thing--

Quixote is in danger
from the Sinister Knight,

and only you can
help him.

Don Quixote made him up.

Oh, no, he is real,
as real as they come.

And he plans to
destroy Quixote.

But we know how to
be rid of him,

and in doing so, help
Quixote find his Dulcinea.

But she doesn't
exist either.

Listen carefully, Sancho.

If you want to
save Quixote

and keep your
precious island...

As midnight has passed,

and your valiant soldiers
have not returned,

I beg your leave to depart.

Don't be so impatient !

I'm sure
they'll be back soon.

But Barcelona is my
final clue to Dulcinea,

and the full moon is but
two nights away.

Forgive such forwardness,
my lord,

but I must abandon you
forth ways because...

oh, yeah, that's it.

I thought I heard
the guardsman.

Perhaps they have news.

Off you go.

Tell me, Quixote,
is it true you never

actually saw Dulcinea ?

Not with my eyes,
it's true.

But with my heart,
every second of my life.

But Sancho has seen her,

and his eyes are keener
than mine--

so often blinded by passion.

I think I'm headed off
to my island.

Sir, the constable has--

The wagon ?

A wagon, and brought
it to the--

Here ?

Sorry ?

Oh yeah, a wagon,

with two men and a woman
in the back,

and they asked
to take refuge

according to the sacred
laws of chivalry.

Hmm.

Okay, can I go now ?

What's wrong ?

Under laws
of refuge...

we can't touch them.

Am I to believe
that with Dulcinea

and her captors right here,
you plan to do nothing ?

Do men make laws
only to deny justice ?

But nobody even knows
what she looks like.

Except the governor.

What if it
really is her ?

You're right.

Justice should be
above the law.

Is the governor
willing to help ?

Is it she ?

Out with it !

Is she or is she not
Dulcinea ?

Quixote, the truth is--

This is not the behavior
of a governor !

Is it possible ?

Is this, by the glory of
the sacred laws of chivalry,

the place where--

Come on, come on,
let us not waste more time.

Don't get near, Pendejo.

I shall respect you
under refuge on condition:

you immediately release
the beautiful Dulcinea,

queen of my days
and princess of my nights.

Oh, that's nice.

Release me, you say ?

The macho man
hasn't been born

who can get the better
of me.

I-- I have no words,
Dulcinea.

Love weakens
my voice and my will.

And you are ?

Don Quixote de la Mancha,
at your faithful service.

Ugh, not another one.

Don't waste your time,
sunshine.

Well, I never imagined
the moment quite like that.

Why don't humans understand
what we say ?

They can't be too
intelligent, can they ?

After all, we understand
everything they say.

It's all for
the best, Rucio.

Your master got his island,
mine his Dulcinea.

And I got a mare with
a magnificent apartment.

But it's all a lie.

It's always been a lie.

Where are you ?

Not as long
as we believed in it.

Hunky ?
Hunky ?

Rucio, we're off
right now !

Not now.

I said, no !

What have I done,
what have I done ?

I'll never be able to look
Quixote in the face again.

Rue...

Hunky, are you
deaf or something ?

My dear Don,

cool your aching heart.

Dulcinea will
speak with you, or else !

Without her, I'm nothing.

And your thoughts
are now of marriage ?

Marriage, so soon ?

And how long have you been
searching for her ?

For all eternity !

Time goes by, Quixote.

I married duchess
without knowing her--

Well, I don't suppose I know
her now, really.

If you put it
like that...

So you accept ?

We still aren't far enough.

We could've brought
a horse.

Still a good way
to go until we reach

the Isle of Barataria,
governor.

Good--
the further, the better.

Queen of my days,
princess of my nights,

I am your faithful servant.

Ugh !

Must you keep
repeating yourself ?

So what's on offer,
exactly ?

Your true love.

Um, something
a little more tangible ?

One must marry well,
you know.

I haven't even
asked her yet.

Uh, what pretense
of love is this,

if you can't show
how much you care ?

Don't I deserve a
diamond necklace ?

Aren't I worth a house
in the country ?

A private pension ?

Paid holidays
in Palm Beach ?

A weekly facial ?

Ugh, get him
out of my sight.

How can this skinflint possibly
be the true Quixote ?

But I am he.

Ugh, yeah, the one
who fought windmills

and traveled the world for love
without even knowing me ?

Giants,
they were giants.

Look, I never
asked a thing.

Not battles nor adventures.

And now, when all I want's
a decent wedding,

the true Quixote
wouldn't reject me,

just because I wasn't up
to his dreams !

Ugh !

He wouldn't treat me
like some toy !

Wisdom was never
so painfully gained.

I have been selfish,
Dulcinea.

Let us do as
you say, immediately.

All that is mine
is yours.

Hooray !

Tonight, a party !

And you'll be able
to wear the new clothes

I've embroidered for you
with all my love.

Sweetie pie,
where are you ?

I tell you, Sinister,

they'll never reach
Barcelona.

They're finished.

That includes the supplement for your thugs

letting themselves
get walloped by Sancho,

and exclusive rights
in case you decide

to sell
the story some day.

Is that clear, Avellaneda ?

Now, let me see.

We have to pay rent on
the set and the castle,

my husband has to conduct

a very expensive wedding
tomorrow.

Oh, and you can't
begin to imagine

the amount of top-quality meat
that beast eats every day.

This is what
we agreed.

The rest later.

Aren't you going to
say anything ?

Yes, I want to
keep Bartolo.

Oh, what on earth for ?!

To eat people!

But he's a vegetarian !

I want to keep Bartolo.

Um, what about me ?

That Quixote don't look like
he's so loaded after all.

But his friend is, my dear,
and he feels so guilty,

He won't deny you a thing.

Ugh-- who was it ?

Sweetie pie !

Get away from me !

Are you okay,
hunky, darling ?

Don't you like my
new hairstyle ?

You really think
a thoroughbred like me

would be interested in some
cheap trotter ?

Oh, here comes the part
where I really get it.

Oh, now I'm angry !

You are, like, so...

pathetic !

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ohh, ohh, ooh ♪

Ah, Oh, Oh...

Nice outfit, Quixote.

You have to admit, Altisidora
has impeccable taste.

Altdi-- who ?

Did I say Altisidora ?

My friend,
forget Barcelona.

You've got your
Dulcinea now--

the real one, of course.

The truth is,
I was wondering

if my good friend Sancho

will be back
in time for the wedding.

Of course,
how could he miss this ?

♪ Just one
desire I can't deny ♪

I've got this funny feeling

we've been going
around in circles.

It's a trick,
don't you see ?

Now I understand.

Of course !
Great !

It's simple, they gave me
the wrong map.

Oh, really.

How can this be
the Isle of Barataria ?

It hasn't got water
all around it.

And did you figure
that out all by yourself,

or did the donkey help ?

Thanks for your help, guys,

but I'm heading back
to the castle.

Quixote needs me,
and I don't think

I'd be much of
a governor anyhow.

What do I owe you ?

You're not going back
anyplace.

I'm a free man,
I'll do what I want.

No, you won't.

I'm raging !

Roasted over a slow flame,
I think.

Ooh !

Wait !

The beating was bad enough,
but burned alive ?!

Don't worry, boss !

Now you're
making me dizzy !

Oh, oh, great plan !

Really effective-- no !

Smoke...

No, thank you,
I don't indulge--

Fire !

Rocinante !

Couldn't you even
wait for us

to be properly cooked ?

Don't you touch him !

We've got to get out of here.

Everything's under control.

Sorry, but I'm too
young to die.

What's all this ?

Him.
Him.

Oh, my love !

What have they
done to you ?

If I don't get
married tomorrow,

someone will have to
compensate me.

Dumb's okay,
but not a vegetable !

Rocinante.

Ow-- huh ?

My brave steed.

What about me ?
Who's more important ?

Me, or some stupid horse ?

Queen of my days
and princess of my nights,

I-- I have--

maybe we should wait a bit--
this wedding is--

Enough with these
childish pranks.

What are you
two waiting for ?

Sorry ?

Why wait until tomorrow, with
such a magnificent full moon ?

It isn't quite
full yet, it's--

Who cares ?
Why not get married right now ?

Altis--

Dulcinea !

Do you take
Quixote to be--

Yes !

And you, Quixote, do you take
this beautiful lady

to be your
lawfully wedded wife ?

This isn't the way
I imagined it.

Did you understand
the question, Quixote ?

I...

Well... l...

No !

No!

Sancho ?

The governor of...

There'll be no wedding,
Quixote.

I lied to you.

I never saw Dulcinea
all that time ago.

I looked right enough,
day and night,

day after day, for you,

for my best--
my only friend.

But the truth is...
she doesn't exist.

Then this lady--

Ugh, "lady" ?

Some jumping
midget comes along

and says I'm not
your Dulcinea,

and you believe him ?

I invented it all.

And this one's just
another invention.

Try inventing these,
buster !

This is a real woman !

Come along, my dear,
better luck next time.

Yes, my love.

Ahhh !

Rucio !

I hope your
insurance covers it.

I never thought I'd be
so glad to see you.

James, James !

Wake up,
this isn't funny.

Too late.

James...

Well, you oughta
be happy.

We're going home.

You know, I'm not sure
about anything anymore.

And you ?

Rocinante !

It's that way to
the village.

Teresa will be hopping mad,

but at least we'll
get something to eat.

After all, Barcelona's
a long way,

and it will just be
more of the same, right ?

This is the end,
Sancho.

It's over.

All my life,
I've been a coward,

running away from
reality.

But you can't
live on illusions.

A coward ?

You've lived
a great life.

Are you serious ?

I never met
a braver man,

a man who dares to
live as he feels

and thinks with his heart.

At least Dulcinea was
a beautiful illusion.

Oh, Dulcinea...

So... home ?

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking ?

Hmm...

Ha-ha !

Come on !

Quixote, that duel
between you

and the Knight Of
The Crescent Moon, wasn't it...

Uh-huh.
Alone...

Face-to-face at dusk ?
That's right.

Then could you explain
something to me ?

Ah.

Huh ?

Oh, look who's here.

Sir Peter Pan.

I'm not
Peter Pan anymore.

It'll never catch on.

I've decided to be
Quixote again.

Sir Globus !

Me too.

Tent, helmet, armor,
and once set of lances.

The sword is optional.

Social-security number ?

What's that ?
A photo i.d. ?

Hmm...

Well... well...

It's not my best, but--

Okay, in the case
of accident ?

Sancho,
Sancho Panza.

6-3-3 8-4-5-6.

That's all, sign here.

You're Quixote 163.

50 eurocrowns ?

But first,
where's my book ?

I'm gonna go broke.

Well, this is
the end of us.

Never fear, Sancho.

It's all going to
work out just fine.

The light, I can
already see the light !

And...

what are you planning
to ride, exactly ?

Hmm, good question.

I just saw some pretty good rental horses
outside-- Hey, I'm here, what about me ?

Got the afternoon free,
what do you say, Don ?

Can't you hear me ?

Hey, hello !

Maybe...

Oh, forget it.

Why not ?

Yes !

I've got it,
Rucio shall be my steed.

Yes !

Where's Rucio ?
Right here !

There you are.

Yes !

Rucio, would you consent...
Yes, yes !

To being my horse-- Can't you understand a simple yes ?

Oh, that's right,
just finish me off.

Don't take offense, Quixote,
but Rucio's only a donkey.

Don't ruin it !

This beast has show
great courage.

He's strong
and resilient.

He's a survivor.

Kneel, Rucio.

By the authority
vested in me,

by the sacred
laws of chivalry,

I name thee horse of
the highest rank.

It's the battle of the century !

And remember,
the joust, the duel

the winning Quixote will have
the honor to fight

the Knight Of
The Crescent Moon !

Quixote 26
enters the arena.

His opponent,
Quixote 13 !

Applause, please !

Yeah, that hurts !

Let's pick up
the pieces and move on,

'cause here comes
Quixote 76 !

Whoa...

You know, I'd fight
in Quixote's place

if they'd let me.

Be careful !

Watch out !

Ooh.

Holy cow !

Forget I said that !

Do we have our
ringer, then ?

666.

Unbeatable.

He'd better be.

I entreat thee, dispatch me
to the Elysian fields

if cowardice I show.

I pray also for
the Knight Esplandian,

son of Amadis and Oriana,
here with me today.

Show him the way to courage,

and help free his soul
from such cruel punishment.

Surely you're not gonna
wear that old junk.

It's my armor.

It's for real out there,
Quixote,

and this thing--

well, I don't know
what's up with it,

but it's not good.

The spell will only be broken
when the soul of this knight

takes part in
an act of courage.

Ahh, impossible.

That's impossible.

I believe in you.

♪ Born free ♪

♪ As free
as the wind blows ♪

♪ As free as the grass grows ♪

♪ Born free to follow
your heart ♪

♪ Live free... ♪

Hi.

I suppose they
do need someone

to pick up the helmets
around here, donkey.

Let go of me !

I'm off into battle
in a moment !

I am Don Quixote's steed !

You're going nowhere,
you're a donkey.

If your Quixote
needs a horse,

then he can rent us.

That's what
we're here for.

Exactly.

And it's no fun being
grounded on the beach.

Ow, ow, ow...

On the beach ?

On the bench !

Let's go, sir Rucio.

It's time.

What did he
just call him ?

Sounded a bit of
a putdown to me.

Look who's come
to see you !

Can we talk about this ?

Here's the deal.

I just eat
your legs.

That way,
your master doesn't get

to take part in the joust.

Don't you know
anything ?

I'm retired !

Rucio is Quixote's
horse now and--

What did you say ?

You want me to
repeat it for you, pal ?

Hi-yah !

Hey, boss !
James, you're alive !

You're safe.

Off, James.

There's a good chicken.

Well, I'm going
lettuce hunting.

Due to circumstances
beyond our control,

we'll be passing
directly to the semifinal.

Peter Pan, Don Quixote 25.

Remigio, alias: Globus,
Quixote 26.

Don Alonso Quijano, Quixote 163.

And a last-minute entry,
Quixote 666,

The Golden Knight.

Well, at least we should be
home for supper.

Hail, Sinister!

What have I gotten into ?

Hi-yah !

Whoa... whoa !

Whaa-ha-ha !

Whoo-ha-ha !

Woo-hoo !

First finalist !

Remigio Globus !

What, me ?

And you hired this
hopeless failure

to get rid of Quixote ?

Don't worry, he's not
in the final...

Yet.

Alonso Quijano !

But what's this
he's riding ?

This is ridiculous !

I suppose you had to inherit
something from me.

♪ A new song ♪

♪ new day ♪

♪ Has... ♪

Ahh !

Don Alonso and his
miniature charger" finalists !

Not bad, not bad !

That kid's got it !

My boy !

Hooray !

♪ Breakin' rocks
in the hot sun ♪

♪ I fought the law
and the law won ♪

♪ Robbin' people
with a six gun ♪

Ooh !

♪ I fought the law
and the law won ♪

♪ I fought the law
and the law won ♪

Incredible !

The winner is
Alonso Quijano,

the one and only
Don Quixote !

Damn the lot of you !

And now we give you
the battle of the century,

between the true,
the one and only,

the inimitable
Don Quixote de la Mancha !

Weighing in at 140 pounds!

And the Knight
Of The Crescent Moon...

Sinister,
I might have known.

Must you always ruin things ?

Bachelor, what are
you doing here ?

And dressed like that ?

Damn you, Quixote !

Ever since I was a child,
I've been nothing !

I studied, I try,
oh, but in our village,

Don Quixote and Sancho Panza

are the only ones
who count !

I tried to
stop you when I put

an early end to your
first adventure.

So it was you.

Just you wait.

And now I finally get
a chance to be someone,

a chance to be famous,

and you humiliate me
in front of everybody !

Come along, my friend.

If you really wanna
be someone--

someone important--
why not become a knight ?

Maybe they'll write a book
about you too,

and you'll be
immortalized for all eternity.

A knight, you say ?

You could sign up
for a course...

at night school.

Sorry, old chap,
I've gotta go.

I'm on again.

There's everything
to play for !

May the best man win !

Woo-hoo !

This could be the end
for Quixote.

Careful !

Watch it, hang on !

Forget it, Quixote !

It isn't worth it !

To the bitter end !

I know my destiny !

And mine !

Incredible !

They're still standing
after that !

Wow.

All right, he did it !

Yes !

Hmm.

No.

I believe in you.

No !

Enough.

Come here.

Hah !

Ahh !

Must still have a few
old scores to settle.

Whoa !

You win.

I'm mad about Dulcinea,

but she deserves the best
and bravest of knights.

I must renounce my love

for the sake
of a...

a pure love

and what is
best for her.

Renounce ?

Only the true Quixote

would take honor
and courage so far.

Only Quixote would
renounce love

for the sake of
true, pure love,

which is why you are
the winner,

the best among knights.

Wow.

For I am Dulcinea.

Ahh !

What?
Huh ?

Much like you, I had to
know if Quixote was real,

or just a figment of
my imagination,

so I set all this up.

Can it be possible ?
ls this the--

ls this, by the glory of
the sacred laws of chivalry--

Cut the crap.

Yeah !

Oh, yes !

Bravo, congratulations
and all that.

Now what
about the treasure ?

Treasure ?

Do you know how much it
costs to organize this ?

You made it !

It was nothing.

But you're a horse,
a real horse !

A horse ?

And of the best of breeds !

A Percheron, no less !

All right, all right, okay, enough flattery.

Make way, give him some room,
everybody back !

Hmm !

Sancho!

Hasta la vista !

We'll be together
again soon, my friend !

Just don't come back
without the rent.

What's that ?

Everything under control.

Why does your friend
want a lion ?

You haven't met his wife.

And this, my friends,

is the true story
of Don Quixote.

Sancho returned
home happily to Teresa

and Rocinante went back
to his dear dusty barn

to care for his beloved hens.

For taking care of Don.

Did you see that ?!

It's no surprise Quixote
lived happily ever after

with that adorable creature.

Of course, I stayed
with him, too.

I don't get paid much,
but he does understand me.

♪ On this lonely
September night ♪

♪ I dream of you ♪

♪ So far
from sight ♪

♪ 1,000 stars in
the moonlit sky ♪

♪ Just one desire ♪

♪ I can't deny ♪

♪ It's a simple
fact ♪

♪ There's no
turning back ♪

♪ My heart says
now or never ♪

♪ My heart
says now or never ♪

♪ There's no turning
around ♪

♪ This new
love that I found ♪

♪ We can make it
together ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ You're my
one and only ♪

♪ When the rain
is falling ♪

♪ When you're
lost and lonely ♪

♪ Can't you hear me
calling ? ♪

♪ You're my
one and only ♪

♪ I'll be there
to hold you ♪

♪ Ohh, ohh, ohh ♪

♪ You're my
one and only ♪

♪ I will travel
1,000 miles ♪

♪ To reach
your heart ♪

♪ To see you smile ♪

♪ And this long
winding road ♪

♪ We follow ♪

♪ Takes us to ♪

♪ A bright
tomorrow ♪

♪ It's a simple fact ♪

♪ There's no
turning back ♪

♪ My heart says
now or never ♪

♪ My heart
says now or never ♪

♪ There's no turning around ♪

♪ This new love
that I found ♪

♪ We can
make it together ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ You're my one and only ♪

♪ When the rain
is falling ♪

♪ When you're
lost and lonely ♪

♪ Can't you hear me
calling ? ♪

♪ You're my
one and only ♪

♪ I'll be there to
hold you ♪

♪ Ohh, ohh, ohh ♪

♪ You're my
one and only ♪

♪ You're my one and only ♪

♪ When the rain
is falling ♪

♪ When you're
lost and lonely ♪

♪ Can't you hear me
calling ? ♪

♪ You're my one and only ♪

♪ I'll be there to
hold you ♪

♪ Ohh, ohh, ohh ♪

♪ You're my
one and only ♪

♪ Yesterday is
behind us ♪

♪ Today we'll make a vow ♪

♪ A vow ♪

♪ Forget about
the future ♪

♪ Time to
live right now ♪

♪ Yes right now ♪

♪ You're my one and only ♪

♪ When the rain
is falling ♪

♪ When you're
lost and lonely ♪

♪ Don't you hear me
calling ? ♪

♪ You're my one and only ♪

♪ I'll be there to
hold you ♪

♪ Ohh, ohh, ohh ♪

♪ You're my
one and only ♪

♪ My one and only ♪

♪ Uh-huh
hoo-hoo ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪