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1
00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:02,399
I'm calling your cell phone,
we're gonna find it.
2
00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:04,041
- Okay, I'm telling you...
- Shh, listen for it.
3
00:00:04,207 --> 00:00:05,334
Okay, but it's probably...
4
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:08,300
Quiet... for at least,
just, like, ten seconds.
5
00:00:12,134 --> 00:00:13,300
I think it's on silent.
6
00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:16,213
Hey, Whit's phone,
uh, I don't know if you ran away
7
00:00:16,338 --> 00:00:18,680
or if you just
slid off her greasy face
8
00:00:18,846 --> 00:00:19,775
but, uh...
9
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,290
Hopefully wherever you are
you're happy
10
00:00:27,415 --> 00:00:30,193
and you found a towel.
11
00:00:30,318 --> 00:00:31,819
Okay, bye.
12
00:00:31,985 --> 00:00:34,279
That is the first voicemail
of yours I've ever listened to.
13
00:00:34,445 --> 00:00:35,498
Mm.
14
00:00:35,623 --> 00:00:37,074
Okay, I'm gonna
call Lily from your phone.
15
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,243
Wait, you have
a password on your phone?
16
00:00:39,409 --> 00:00:40,835
Yeah.
17
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,247
Passwords are kinda sketchy.
18
00:00:43,413 --> 00:00:44,623
They're not sketchy,
19
00:00:44,789 --> 00:00:46,821
and mark loves to steal my phone
and send dirty texts
20
00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:48,396
to random contacts.
21
00:00:48,914 --> 00:00:50,838
And now my aunt Cheryl
thinks I wanna tap that.
22
00:00:52,639 --> 00:00:54,341
I don't have a password on my phone.
23
00:00:54,507 --> 00:00:55,849
I know, and now
there's a random guy out there
24
00:00:55,974 --> 00:00:58,971
looking at pictures of us
that we should not have taken.
25
00:00:59,802 --> 00:01:01,807
Besides, it's my phone.
It's like my thing.
26
00:01:01,973 --> 00:01:03,058
Your thing?
27
00:01:03,224 --> 00:01:05,193
Yeah, I have my things,
you have your things
28
00:01:05,318 --> 00:01:06,979
and that's my thing.
29
00:01:07,953 --> 00:01:09,565
Wait, we live together, okay?
30
00:01:09,731 --> 00:01:11,164
There's no your things and my things.
31
00:01:11,289 --> 00:01:13,166
There's our things, right?
32
00:01:13,291 --> 00:01:15,001
I bought that table, our table.
33
00:01:15,126 --> 00:01:16,736
You bought the bed, that's our bed.
34
00:01:16,861 --> 00:01:19,533
I left cake out on the counter,
we got a mouse.
35
00:01:21,826 --> 00:01:22,744
Hey, what'd I miss?
36
00:01:23,295 --> 00:01:25,747
Alex has a password on his phone.
37
00:01:26,537 --> 00:01:28,208
I meant the hockey game
but keep going.
38
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:29,881
Either way...
39
00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:32,462
I'm seeing a fight.
40
00:01:32,628 --> 00:01:33,552
It's messed up though, right?
41
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,382
We should not be keeping
things from each other.
42
00:01:35,548 --> 00:01:36,522
Mm, you're Alex's woman.
43
00:01:36,647 --> 00:01:38,719
He has a right
to keep things from you.
44
00:01:39,417 --> 00:01:41,459
But we're not sleeping together.
45
00:01:41,584 --> 00:01:43,480
You have no reason to lie to me.
46
00:01:46,322 --> 00:01:47,832
Yeah, I'm not
giving either of you two
47
00:01:47,957 --> 00:01:48,833
my password.
48
00:01:48,958 --> 00:01:51,001
Ah, you know what?
49
00:01:51,126 --> 00:01:52,637
I bet I know it.
50
00:01:52,762 --> 00:01:56,140
Whitney, type in 23 and 45.
51
00:01:56,265 --> 00:01:58,322
Michael Jordan's numbers,
that's his password.
52
00:01:58,488 --> 00:01:59,865
No, it's not.
53
00:02:00,535 --> 00:02:03,202
Of course it's not.
54
00:02:03,368 --> 00:02:06,747
It's 9-0-0-9.
55
00:02:06,913 --> 00:02:08,123
Why would it be 9-0-0-9?
56
00:02:08,289 --> 00:02:10,876
That's "boob" upside down.
57
00:02:12,293 --> 00:02:13,149
No.
58
00:02:13,274 --> 00:02:17,883
I promise you I will crack this code.
59
00:02:18,883 --> 00:02:20,796
I am a cop.
60
00:02:20,921 --> 00:02:23,566
I have nothing better to do.
61
00:02:25,817 --> 00:02:28,271
Whitney is taped in front
of a live studio audience,
62
00:02:28,396 --> 00:02:29,728
so...
63
00:02:29,894 --> 00:02:33,398
Well, I guess that's
the last of the boxes.
64
00:02:33,564 --> 00:02:35,377
It's official, we live together.
65
00:02:35,502 --> 00:02:37,110
Aah.
66
00:02:37,276 --> 00:02:38,480
All right, I'm gonna
go buy some duct tape
67
00:02:38,605 --> 00:02:39,481
and a box cutter.
68
00:02:39,606 --> 00:02:41,615
Okay.
69
00:02:41,781 --> 00:02:43,685
And just in case, a shirt that says
70
00:02:43,810 --> 00:02:48,221
"I love America."
71
00:02:48,346 --> 00:02:49,523
Hi, Neal.
72
00:02:49,648 --> 00:02:50,791
Hi.
73
00:02:50,916 --> 00:02:54,685
Wow, Lil, this place is amazing.
74
00:02:55,086 --> 00:02:58,399
Yeah, it's so bricky and stairsy
75
00:02:58,524 --> 00:03:01,967
and floory.
76
00:03:02,092 --> 00:03:04,604
Yeah, and the neighborhood
is so pawn shoppy
77
00:03:04,729 --> 00:03:06,539
and prostitutey.
78
00:03:06,664 --> 00:03:07,599
Okay.
79
00:03:07,998 --> 00:03:10,009
Hey, this is the next
cool neighborhood, all right?
80
00:03:10,134 --> 00:03:11,711
I know it's dangerous now,
but in a year
81
00:03:11,836 --> 00:03:14,681
this is where everyone's gonna live.
82
00:03:14,806 --> 00:03:15,774
If we live.
83
00:03:17,741 --> 00:03:19,903
Man, you guys have a lot of stuff.
84
00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:20,819
How much of this stuff is Neal's
85
00:03:20,944 --> 00:03:21,905
and how much of it is yours?
86
00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:23,888
Uh, I don't know.
87
00:03:24,013 --> 00:03:25,190
Now that we live together
it's just kinda
88
00:03:25,315 --> 00:03:26,451
all our stuff.
89
00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:28,360
That's interesting
'cause Alex seems to think
90
00:03:28,485 --> 00:03:30,261
there are certain things
that we should keep
91
00:03:30,386 --> 00:03:31,999
separate from each other.
92
00:03:32,165 --> 00:03:33,198
That's crazy.
93
00:03:33,323 --> 00:03:34,498
A couple is supposed
to grow closer and closer
94
00:03:34,623 --> 00:03:35,877
until they are one.
95
00:03:36,043 --> 00:03:37,668
Mm, not in reality.
96
00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:39,169
Eventually a couple
gets so sick of each other
97
00:03:39,294 --> 00:03:44,208
that they just
make a whole new person.
98
00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:45,971
Neal and I share everything.
99
00:03:46,137 --> 00:03:47,597
Mm, you think you do,
100
00:03:47,763 --> 00:03:49,246
but you guys haven't
lived together yet.
101
00:03:49,371 --> 00:03:52,114
I mean, I'm sure there
are things you've saved
102
00:03:52,239 --> 00:03:54,938
from the times when
you weren't together, you know.
103
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:57,387
Private things.
104
00:03:57,512 --> 00:04:01,624
Things that bears do in the woods.
105
00:04:01,749 --> 00:04:04,026
Yeah, but that stuff's
not gonna be an issue with us.
106
00:04:04,151 --> 00:04:05,194
Oh, Roxanne's right.
107
00:04:05,319 --> 00:04:06,862
Guys want nothing to do
with the nasty stuff.
108
00:04:06,987 --> 00:04:11,767
And the few that do
would have already asked for it.
109
00:04:11,892 --> 00:04:13,569
You know, I'm gonna
go check if there's an echo
110
00:04:13,694 --> 00:04:15,141
in the bathroom.
111
00:04:17,163 --> 00:04:19,421
Hey, did Lance ever have
a password on his phone?
112
00:04:19,587 --> 00:04:21,673
Um, I never checked.
113
00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:22,924
I have self-esteem.
114
00:04:24,884 --> 00:04:26,046
Whit, couples need their own stuff.
115
00:04:26,171 --> 00:04:27,582
They need their own friends,
their own interests.
116
00:04:27,707 --> 00:04:28,949
Even when Lance and I were together,
117
00:04:29,074 --> 00:04:32,100
one night a week
we would do our own thing.
118
00:04:32,266 --> 00:04:33,153
I like that.
119
00:04:33,278 --> 00:04:34,489
Maybe I'll give Alex a night alone
120
00:04:34,614 --> 00:04:37,157
and I'll take myself out
on a little date, you know?
121
00:04:37,282 --> 00:04:41,461
But I'm gonna dress slutty so
I don't have to be interesting.
122
00:04:41,586 --> 00:04:44,464
Hello!
123
00:04:44,589 --> 00:04:47,200
Nope, no echo.
124
00:04:47,325 --> 00:04:48,535
No!
125
00:04:48,660 --> 00:04:50,837
Echo!
126
00:04:50,962 --> 00:04:51,838
Oh, God, it's like I'm at the bottom
127
00:04:51,963 --> 00:04:53,139
of a canyon in here.
128
00:05:07,177 --> 00:05:10,305
Happy first night at the apartment.
129
00:05:10,914 --> 00:05:13,257
You too.
130
00:05:13,382 --> 00:05:17,662
I never knew you wore a mouth guard.
131
00:05:17,787 --> 00:05:19,063
I don't.
132
00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:21,400
Uh, I don't know whose this is.
133
00:05:21,566 --> 00:05:26,269
Just found it here
and, uh, for some reason
134
00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:27,638
put it in my mouth.
135
00:05:27,905 --> 00:05:30,700
So, uh, anyway...
136
00:05:30,866 --> 00:05:31,942
And I'll see you...
137
00:05:32,067 --> 00:05:35,069
In bed.
138
00:05:39,041 --> 00:05:39,917
Well, me...
139
00:05:40,042 --> 00:05:41,484
Aah...
140
00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:44,987
Had a good time tonight,
but I'm just not looking
141
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:47,566
for something serious
right now, so...
142
00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:51,888
Hey, Alex, do you have the laptop?
143
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,474
Aah!
Get out!
144
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:58,367
Oh!
145
00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,135
Oh, my God.
146
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:01,203
You know what?
Keep the laptop.
147
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:03,896
Just keep it forever.
148
00:06:19,522 --> 00:06:20,857
So you don't knock?
149
00:06:22,457 --> 00:06:25,268
Not on my own bedroom door.
150
00:06:25,393 --> 00:06:28,543
You were supposed to be
out on a date with yourself.
151
00:06:29,364 --> 00:06:32,366
It ended early, she talked too much.
152
00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:38,708
Wha... do you do that
every time I go out?
153
00:06:38,874 --> 00:06:40,149
No, you know what, we're
not talking about this, okay?
154
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:42,128
Ever.
155
00:06:42,294 --> 00:06:43,853
Okay, look,
I'm not freaked out, okay?
156
00:06:43,978 --> 00:06:46,383
It's not like you're
cheating on me or anything.
157
00:06:46,549 --> 00:06:47,724
Whit, I've been doing that
since I was 13,
158
00:06:47,849 --> 00:06:53,062
so if anything
I'm cheating on that with you.
159
00:06:53,187 --> 00:06:55,809
Well, at least for me
you take your socks off.
160
00:06:55,975 --> 00:06:58,667
Oh, God.
161
00:06:58,792 --> 00:07:01,022
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
162
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,839
It's fine, it is
a totally healthy and normal
163
00:07:03,964 --> 00:07:04,818
thing to do.
164
00:07:04,984 --> 00:07:06,041
Normal and healthy?
165
00:07:06,166 --> 00:07:10,310
Why don't you just
punch me in the face.
166
00:07:10,435 --> 00:07:12,113
I'm sorry, do you
maybe wanna wash your hands?
167
00:07:12,238 --> 00:07:15,370
Stop!
168
00:07:19,331 --> 00:07:20,154
What is going on, buddy?
You can tell me.
169
00:07:20,279 --> 00:07:22,085
Something with your family?
170
00:07:22,251 --> 00:07:25,259
Whatever it is, I'm here.
171
00:07:25,384 --> 00:07:30,429
I got caught.
172
00:07:30,554 --> 00:07:34,968
Enjoying my own company.
173
00:07:35,093 --> 00:07:36,502
Oh, no.
174
00:07:36,627 --> 00:07:39,539
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
175
00:07:39,664 --> 00:07:41,229
Oh, you got caught?
176
00:07:42,732 --> 00:07:46,078
By whom?
177
00:07:46,203 --> 00:07:47,680
Whom?
178
00:07:47,805 --> 00:07:48,947
Dude, can you not use proper English?
179
00:07:49,072 --> 00:07:52,073
Somehow it makes me
feel worse about this, okay?
180
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,616
Whitney, she walked in on me.
181
00:07:53,782 --> 00:07:57,622
Whew, the walk-in is the worst.
182
00:07:57,747 --> 00:08:00,832
Okay, uh, what are
we talking about here?
183
00:08:00,998 --> 00:08:06,030
Where did she catch Colonel Mustard?
184
00:08:06,155 --> 00:08:08,131
In the bedroom with the laptop.
185
00:08:08,297 --> 00:08:09,600
Bedroom?
186
00:08:09,725 --> 00:08:12,302
How intimate.
187
00:08:12,468 --> 00:08:15,906
I always pictured you as a couch guy.
188
00:08:16,031 --> 00:08:19,033
Pictured me?
189
00:08:21,765 --> 00:08:23,080
Okay, my advice.
190
00:08:23,205 --> 00:08:24,347
You're gonna
have to lay low for a while.
191
00:08:24,472 --> 00:08:27,084
No web stuff, unplug and go acoustic,
192
00:08:27,209 --> 00:08:29,398
Eric Slapton style.
193
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:33,756
Mark, I'm not worried about
194
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,358
how I'm gonna do it in the future.
195
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:39,195
I'm worried about
how awkward it is now.
196
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,897
I know, I know.
197
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,299
I had a similar incident
at the academy.
198
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:48,536
Um, in an interrogation room.
199
00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:49,938
And what I learned is,
200
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,272
you cannot undo what's been done.
201
00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:55,176
You just gotta own it
and any time you see a mirror
202
00:08:55,301 --> 00:09:00,615
assume it's two-way.
203
00:09:13,919 --> 00:09:15,629
Hey, uh, are you
planning on going out
204
00:09:15,754 --> 00:09:17,534
any time soon, or...
205
00:09:18,756 --> 00:09:19,766
Oh, sorry, Lil, I gotta take this.
206
00:09:19,891 --> 00:09:21,765
It's a work call.
207
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:24,380
Hey, guys, we all on?
208
00:09:35,238 --> 00:09:36,281
I think it's really important
209
00:09:36,406 --> 00:09:39,408
that we move on
this one quickly, it's...
210
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:50,861
Neal.
211
00:09:50,986 --> 00:09:52,430
Yeah, Lil?
I'm still on a call.
212
00:09:52,555 --> 00:09:54,523
Nothing!
213
00:10:09,471 --> 00:10:11,872
Bless you.
214
00:10:20,763 --> 00:10:21,825
Everything go okay in there?
215
00:10:21,950 --> 00:10:23,016
I heard screaming.
216
00:10:23,182 --> 00:10:27,979
I was just waxing my moustache.
217
00:10:28,145 --> 00:10:29,965
And you didn't do that
in the bathroom you share
218
00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:31,733
with your fiance, why?
219
00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:33,502
'Cause you were right.
220
00:10:33,627 --> 00:10:37,039
There are some things
I don't want him to see or hear.
221
00:10:37,164 --> 00:10:39,407
I've been doing everything in there.
222
00:10:39,532 --> 00:10:42,009
Everything.
223
00:10:42,134 --> 00:10:44,662
- Oh, Shalom.
- Hey, Whit.
224
00:10:44,828 --> 00:10:45,780
How was your date with yourself?
225
00:10:45,905 --> 00:10:48,082
Are you gonna call you?
226
00:10:48,207 --> 00:10:49,417
No.
227
00:10:49,542 --> 00:10:52,754
But I did walk in on Alex
you-know-what-sturbating.
228
00:10:52,879 --> 00:10:56,022
What? No!
229
00:10:56,147 --> 00:10:59,260
Yeah.
He's totally freaked out.
230
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:00,678
Whoa, where did you catch him?
231
00:11:00,844 --> 00:11:01,895
In the bedroom.
232
00:11:02,020 --> 00:11:02,889
Above the covers.
233
00:11:03,055 --> 00:11:04,297
Oh, no.
234
00:11:04,422 --> 00:11:05,391
Mm-hm.
235
00:11:05,557 --> 00:11:07,501
The look on his face... he looked like
236
00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:10,230
he was killing someone and liked it.
237
00:11:12,897 --> 00:11:16,986
- Oh!
- No, no, no, no, no.
238
00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:26,051
And the rest is just a blur
of chest hair and shame.
239
00:11:26,176 --> 00:11:27,424
All right, see?
240
00:11:27,549 --> 00:11:29,839
Lil, this is what happens
when you live with a man.
241
00:11:29,964 --> 00:11:32,357
I mean, unless great pains are taken,
242
00:11:32,482 --> 00:11:34,879
you will see things
you can never un-see.
243
00:11:35,045 --> 00:11:37,228
Above the covers?
244
00:11:37,353 --> 00:11:40,932
Oh!
That is gonna haunt me.
245
00:11:41,057 --> 00:11:46,766
Were his toes pointed or curled?
246
00:11:46,932 --> 00:11:48,851
I don't know, he was wearing socks.
247
00:11:49,017 --> 00:11:51,646
God, they really do
just take them off for us, huh?
248
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,314
Yes.
249
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,578
Just brace yourself, woman.
250
00:11:54,703 --> 00:11:56,814
This is gonna happen to you, okay?
251
00:11:56,939 --> 00:11:58,382
I caught Lance so much
that he couldn't finish
252
00:11:58,507 --> 00:12:01,197
unless I walked in.
253
00:12:10,919 --> 00:12:11,708
Alex?
254
00:12:20,561 --> 00:12:21,676
I'm coming in.
255
00:12:26,033 --> 00:12:27,807
Unless this isn't a good time.
256
00:12:29,135 --> 00:12:31,561
In which case, just say the word.
257
00:12:31,727 --> 00:12:35,115
Okay, I'm putting the key
in the door...
258
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,985
I'm turning the knob.
259
00:12:38,110 --> 00:12:41,112
Are you turning the knob?
260
00:12:47,018 --> 00:12:48,828
Alex, come on, not on the bike.
261
00:12:54,993 --> 00:12:55,869
What?
262
00:12:55,994 --> 00:12:57,070
For real?
Seriously?
263
00:12:57,195 --> 00:12:58,104
You really thought
that's what I was doing?
264
00:12:58,229 --> 00:13:00,740
Here, with all my clothes on?
265
00:13:00,865 --> 00:13:03,301
I don't know how you do it.
266
00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:07,638
Well, you kinda do!
267
00:13:07,804 --> 00:13:10,382
Look, I'm sorry I made such
a big deal about it, all right?
268
00:13:10,507 --> 00:13:11,550
I was just... I was embarrassed
269
00:13:11,675 --> 00:13:14,645
and I know you
walked in on me by accident.
270
00:13:15,345 --> 00:13:17,648
- So we're good?
- Yeah, we're good.
271
00:13:17,814 --> 00:13:19,025
All right?
272
00:13:19,191 --> 00:13:20,291
Although we should
probably come up with
273
00:13:20,416 --> 00:13:23,427
some sort of signal
like, uh, if I'm alone...
274
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:27,617
That's probably what I'm doing.
275
00:13:33,262 --> 00:13:34,415
Hey, uh, Lily told me
276
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,250
to come over and get a tablecloth
277
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:37,674
for the housewarming party.
278
00:13:37,799 --> 00:13:40,844
Because it is so important
that we impress our best friends
279
00:13:40,969 --> 00:13:43,299
who we see every day.
280
00:13:43,465 --> 00:13:45,949
I'll get it.
281
00:13:46,074 --> 00:13:48,619
So, uh, how are things going?
282
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:49,764
Things seem better here.
283
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,016
Good, yeah.
Wait, better?
284
00:13:52,182 --> 00:13:53,288
Yeah.
285
00:13:53,413 --> 00:13:54,602
Lil told me you got caught
286
00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:56,938
and things were
a little tense around here.
287
00:14:03,257 --> 00:14:04,570
You told Lily?
288
00:14:04,736 --> 00:14:06,402
No!
289
00:14:06,527 --> 00:14:09,528
She was just there
when I told Roxanne.
290
00:14:11,998 --> 00:14:14,914
Yeah, this is about the level
of tension I was expecting.
291
00:14:19,105 --> 00:14:22,880
So, uh, I will see
one or both of you guys tonight.
292
00:14:26,078 --> 00:14:27,054
I can't believe you told everybody.
293
00:14:27,179 --> 00:14:29,523
Okay, I tell them everything, okay?
294
00:14:29,648 --> 00:14:30,524
And who cares!
295
00:14:30,649 --> 00:14:31,848
Didn't you tell anybody?
296
00:14:32,014 --> 00:14:32,826
Yeah, I told mark.
297
00:14:32,951 --> 00:14:33,827
But I can tell whoever I want.
298
00:14:33,952 --> 00:14:38,032
The victim gets to tell the story.
299
00:14:38,157 --> 00:14:43,151
To be fair,
you were victimizing yourself.
300
00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:44,694
Look, they don't care.
301
00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:45,672
I do, all right?
302
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:46,873
Walking in on me was an accident,
303
00:14:46,998 --> 00:14:48,007
but telling them wasn't.
304
00:14:48,132 --> 00:14:50,533
You chose to make our thing
their thing too.
305
00:14:50,699 --> 00:14:52,045
Okay, so some things
I'm allowed to tell people
306
00:14:52,170 --> 00:14:53,411
and some things I'm not?
307
00:14:53,577 --> 00:14:56,882
Yes! That's how a relationship works!
308
00:14:57,007 --> 00:15:02,187
Okay, so now I really
feel bad that I told your mom.
309
00:15:02,312 --> 00:15:04,022
You told my mom?
310
00:15:04,147 --> 00:15:07,325
Hey, I figured she could relate.
311
00:15:07,450 --> 00:15:10,452
You know?
312
00:15:12,922 --> 00:15:14,265
We just, like, shared stories...
313
00:15:14,431 --> 00:15:17,034
No!
314
00:15:17,159 --> 00:15:18,502
I'm kidding.
315
00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:20,813
But now the whole Lily-Roxanne
thing doesn't seem so bad,
316
00:15:20,979 --> 00:15:23,231
does it?
317
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,536
It's nice to have
a little bit of a view.
318
00:15:32,661 --> 00:15:34,509
Look at those kids playing tag.
319
00:15:34,985 --> 00:15:37,260
Boy, I hope that's tag
and not a hate crime.
320
00:15:38,664 --> 00:15:40,764
Eh, either way, I'm off duty.
321
00:15:42,603 --> 00:15:43,546
Lil, here.
322
00:15:43,671 --> 00:15:45,226
Got you a little
housewarming present.
323
00:15:45,392 --> 00:15:46,515
What is this?
324
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:47,516
Key to my apartment.
325
00:15:47,641 --> 00:15:49,188
You know, until you get comfortable.
326
00:15:49,844 --> 00:15:51,900
Oh, thank you.
327
00:15:52,066 --> 00:15:54,990
The mirror is in a weird place,
328
00:15:55,115 --> 00:15:58,250
but you'll get used to it.
329
00:16:02,655 --> 00:16:04,166
Hey, guys.
330
00:16:04,291 --> 00:16:05,433
- Hey.
- Hi.
331
00:16:05,558 --> 00:16:06,873
- Hi.
- Hi.
332
00:16:07,039 --> 00:16:09,971
Look, I know you all know,
so let's just leave it at that,
333
00:16:10,096 --> 00:16:13,421
all right?
334
00:16:13,587 --> 00:16:16,577
I thought by saying that
it would make it less awkward.
335
00:16:16,702 --> 00:16:19,479
I was wrong.
336
00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:20,647
Who cares!
337
00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:25,676
You got caught
doing something that we all do.
338
00:16:25,979 --> 00:16:28,061
I masturbate.
339
00:16:30,882 --> 00:16:32,315
- Roxanne?
- What.
340
00:16:32,481 --> 00:16:34,293
Come on, I'm trying
to start a little Spartacus
341
00:16:34,418 --> 00:16:36,486
thing here.
342
00:16:36,652 --> 00:16:39,733
Okay, um...
343
00:16:39,858 --> 00:16:42,241
Mark masturbates.
344
00:16:48,198 --> 00:16:50,375
- Hey, everybody.
- Hello.
345
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:51,918
Hey, Whit, come on in.
346
00:16:52,084 --> 00:16:53,578
We're all sharing private habits
347
00:16:53,703 --> 00:16:55,463
and it's fun and very party-like.
348
00:16:55,629 --> 00:16:57,249
Oh, well,
I actually brought something
349
00:16:57,374 --> 00:16:58,800
for us to do.
350
00:16:58,966 --> 00:17:02,720
This is a box of all
of my most embarrassing stuff.
351
00:17:02,845 --> 00:17:05,589
Old diaries, yearbooks, you name it.
352
00:17:05,714 --> 00:17:09,644
So dig in.
353
00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:12,981
Seriously, just have at it.
354
00:17:16,733 --> 00:17:17,902
Whit, you don't have to do this.
355
00:17:18,068 --> 00:17:20,170
No, I do.
I feel bad.
356
00:17:20,295 --> 00:17:21,531
And I want to even the score.
357
00:17:21,697 --> 00:17:23,366
Ooh, first page.
358
00:17:23,532 --> 00:17:25,175
"Dear diary, it's been two weeks.
359
00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:27,878
"When is my other boob
going to come in?
360
00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:29,038
What the fart?"
361
00:17:30,605 --> 00:17:32,548
Okay, okay, wait,
wait, I have a good one.
362
00:17:32,673 --> 00:17:36,337
"First French kiss today.
Wish I hadn't done the accent."
363
00:17:36,503 --> 00:17:37,453
Oh!
364
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:39,955
Oh, my.
365
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,135
- What do we have here?
- What is that?
366
00:17:42,784 --> 00:17:44,387
Oh, no, no,
I didn't realize that was in there.
367
00:17:44,553 --> 00:17:46,262
It's a little art house film called
368
00:17:46,387 --> 00:17:49,058
Spring Break Babes of Bourbon Street.
369
00:17:49,224 --> 00:17:49,976
No way.
370
00:17:50,256 --> 00:17:51,800
Okay, I will have you know
I was very drunk
371
00:17:51,925 --> 00:17:54,744
and in desperate need
of attention... I mean, beads.
372
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:59,485
So wait, Whit,
you went to New Orleans on spring break?
373
00:17:59,651 --> 00:18:01,654
No, I was actually there
for a funeral.
374
00:18:01,820 --> 00:18:04,449
Okay, there's nothing
about this I'm proud of.
375
00:18:08,407 --> 00:18:10,017
Where are you girls from?
376
00:18:10,142 --> 00:18:11,819
- Miami!
- Chicago!
377
00:18:11,944 --> 00:18:13,153
All right!
378
00:18:13,278 --> 00:18:15,055
I got beads to give away!
379
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:16,586
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
380
00:18:17,516 --> 00:18:19,922
That rectangle
tells me all I need to know.
381
00:18:20,088 --> 00:18:22,128
- Whoo!
- Woo-hoo!
382
00:18:22,253 --> 00:18:23,330
No, wait!
Come back!
383
00:18:23,455 --> 00:18:24,698
I want some beads!
384
00:18:24,823 --> 00:18:26,763
Let me show you my...
385
00:18:26,929 --> 00:18:28,014
We already got hers, so...
386
00:18:28,180 --> 00:18:32,310
Come on!
Whoo!
387
00:18:33,498 --> 00:18:37,482
Looks like they underlined your neck.
388
00:18:37,648 --> 00:18:40,111
This is even more embarrassing
then when my dad told me
389
00:18:40,236 --> 00:18:43,613
about this DVD in the first place.
390
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,493
Look, Whit, I appreciate
what you're trying to do here,
391
00:18:48,659 --> 00:18:49,988
but all these are just your things.
392
00:18:50,113 --> 00:18:51,556
And letting everyone else in on them
393
00:18:51,681 --> 00:18:53,915
means you're kind of missing
the point about us.
394
00:18:54,081 --> 00:18:56,561
No, it doesn't because...
395
00:18:57,228 --> 00:18:59,295
This is the journal
I was keeping when I met you.
396
00:18:59,989 --> 00:19:02,507
And it's full of all
of our most private things.
397
00:19:02,673 --> 00:19:03,568
So I took it out of the box
398
00:19:03,693 --> 00:19:05,970
'cause this is just for me and you
399
00:19:06,095 --> 00:19:07,345
and for nobody else.
400
00:19:07,511 --> 00:19:10,807
- You are catching on.
- Mm.
401
00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:12,942
But I think that, uh,
you have to show this journal
402
00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:14,101
to me now.
403
00:19:14,267 --> 00:19:16,854
Oh, no, it's kind of my thing.
404
00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:19,416
Ah.
405
00:19:19,541 --> 00:19:21,692
Hey, so, uh,
you wanna know my password?
406
00:19:21,858 --> 00:19:23,236
No, it's okay.
407
00:19:23,402 --> 00:19:25,988
You know, it's the date we met.
408
00:19:26,113 --> 00:19:31,460
The night of our first,
uh, well, everything.
409
00:19:31,585 --> 00:19:32,662
That's so sweet.
410
00:19:32,828 --> 00:19:35,289
Yeah, here.
Give it a try.
411
00:19:35,455 --> 00:19:36,916
Oh, no.
412
00:19:37,082 --> 00:19:38,768
Yeah, why not?
Go for it.
413
00:19:38,893 --> 00:19:41,087
Yeah, come on.
Raar!
414
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,929
Yeah, you don't really
know the date, do you?
415
00:19:50,095 --> 00:19:54,141
- Of course I know the date.
- Oh, okay.
416
00:19:57,009 --> 00:19:57,918
- Hey.
- Huh?
417
00:19:58,043 --> 00:19:59,689
Give me that, this is not open book.
418
00:19:59,855 --> 00:20:01,655
July 11, 2008.
419
00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:03,056
Opening day of Hellboy II.
420
00:20:03,181 --> 00:20:06,593
We saw it, went drinking,
ran into this guy.
421
00:20:06,718 --> 00:20:08,619
7,11,8.
422
00:20:10,067 --> 00:20:11,617
I cannot believe you remember that.
423
00:20:11,783 --> 00:20:14,567
Yeah, and if I'd thrown
a rock instead of paper,
424
00:20:14,692 --> 00:20:16,569
you could have walked in on me.
425
00:20:16,694 --> 00:20:18,541
You know, cleaning my own gun.
426
00:20:22,099 --> 00:20:24,463
Sliding doors.
427
00:20:24,513 --> 00:20:29,063
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