Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver

Jesus Christ, Hannah,

you've been in there for hours.

Hannah?

Hannah?

Hannah?

It hasn't been hours.

It's been three hours.

I'm taking a massive shit.

I don't believe you.

What are you doing?

Confronting the realization that the term microscopic

is relative, and through a different perspective

the Earth itself is microscopic,

and everything people choose to do

is just an activity to pass time

until we all just eventually die.

Could you say that again?

I couldn't really hear you.

I'm just reading.

Can you unlock the door?

Mom's worried about you, too.

You called mom?

Yeah, I mean you're going on hour three in here,

I thought she should know.

Mom and dad have a lot to worry about

with grandpa right now.

I don't want them coming back for some bullshit,

because you made them worry about me.

I don't think you have to worry about that,

they're pretty busy up there.

Oh.

Hey, you hungry?

Want to get a Pronto Pup?

Yeah.

Pronto Pup, Pronto Pup, Pronto Pup!

Hey, imagine retirement.

You're still in college.

No, it's something to look forward to.

- I want to leave. - Hmm?

I want to leave.

Wait wait, that's on a movie.

No no, there's a bunch of guys sitting around,

they just graduated college.

And one of them says,

"I wish I was retiring after years of hard labor."

Charlie let's walk to the car.

Wait wait, what is it?

No, I,

God this is gonna bother me all day.

Come on, Charlie, I'm not.

God, what is it?

Okay, I'm leaving.

Hannah.

Hannah!

Hey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How's he doing?

God, that's, that's awful.

Yeah, we can head up tomorrow.

Okay.

Yeah, I love you too.

Mom?

Yeah.

Grandpa's in the hospital.

Damn.

She wants us to go up as soon as we can.

Gotta get work off.

Me too.

Is he gonna be all right?

We'll see.

He'll probably die.

Don't say that.

It's true.

He's old and in the hospital,

and all of my friends' grandparents are already dead,

so it's only a matter of time.

He could pull through.

No, no.

Come on.

I quit being so optimistic.

What's wrong with optimism?

Charlie, think of it this way.

What if you set a cookie next to a hungry dog,

and then you told me that I could have the cookie.

In fact, this cookie was mine.

The only reason I wouldn't have the cookie

was if it was eaten by the hungry dog.

I would probably be confused because

you're so confident that I would get this cookie,

but the hungry dog is right, right there.

Grandpa's the cookie?

The cookie's a metaphor for all unrealistic expectations.

So grandpa's life?

Fine, grandpa's the cookie.

You know, we could make this a fun trip.

We could pack the camping gear.

No, I hate camping, we're not going camping.

Camping's fun.

Camping is literally Satan as an activity.

Oh come one, we could go to Tahquamenon.

Oh, shut up.

No, shut up, I got to get work off.

I'm sorry.

Oh, it's all right, I'll be fine.

He was getting pretty old.

No, I'm sorry but I cannot let you leave.

Oh, excuse me?

Have you found someone to cover your shift?

It's such short notice.

It is.

I'm sorry, Lady, but this is a family emergency.

Did you just call her lady?

Oh no.

Yes, but that's actually her name.

Don't talk to our customers like that, Hannah.

Jesus.

Don't take the Lord's name in vain.

Listen Lady, I've enjoyed working here

but this is a family emergency.

We've tried to foster a family for you right here.

Okay, I'm out.

You get work off?

No.

No?

No, I either quit or was fired, I'm not quite sure.

You got everything in here?

What time should we leave tomorrow, nine, 10?

Let's do 10.

Come on, we should get some sleep.

Howdy.

Renting a kayak?

Yeah.

Have fun.

Thanks.

Tyler, listen to me.

I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you.

You need to leave me alone.

What are you putting back there?

Oh, I just forgot to pack something last night.

Tina's a bitch.

Who's Tina?

My best friend.

Oh yeah, Tina.

No, I got ya.

You don't remember Tina, do you?

No.

Never mind.

Well, hold on, just because I don't know Tina

doesn't mean I can't recognize if she's being a bitch.

You're not friends with Tina.

You're not allowed to talk shit about her.

Okay, well what'd she do?

She's just giving me hell

about not being able to hang out this weekend.

Because you're visiting your dying relative?

Yes.

Does she not understand?

She's not great at picking up

on other people's existences.

You said, "dying relative."

No, I said dying, I didn't say going to die.

That's the exact same thing.

There's literally no difference

between dying and going to die.

There is totally a difference,

one is much more definitive than the other.

Stop it.

Just turn off your phone.

I've tried.

It's not a permanent solution.

When have you tried?

Every time I go to the movies or church or take a nap.

Church?

Yeah, you shouldn't have your phone on in church.

When do you go to church?

Oh, I see, thank you for the judgment.

No, I'm not judging you.

You can believe in whatever you want, I don't care.

If you really believe that

you wouldn't have reacted that way.

Okay, I see it.

Now you're judging me, for judging you.

Now you're judging me for judging you.

What?

You know, the river runs both ways.

That's definitely not how the expression goes.

It's not even possible.

You want to make a stop?

Sure.

Hey, what do you think?

Okay, Mister Rogers.

No, Mister Rogers wears cardigans.

They're not the same.

Selsun Blue.

What?

Yeah, that's what your sweater reminds me of,

a bottle of Selsun Blue.

The dandruff shampoo?

Yes.

My sweater reminds you of dandruff?

No, dandruff shampoo.

Thank you.

It looks like an art project,

but one that the parents were like,

and then they like threw it away immediately.

What was that?

I'm calling a tow truck.

It's all there.

What's going on?

Well, too many cars.

They can't get to us till tomorrow.

Then we should take our car somewhere else.

Oh cool, do you want to start the car up

and take it to another shop?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you have any suggestions?

Do you have any friends that live around here?

Where are we?

Thompsonville.

Thompsonville?

Yeah.

What the hell is in Thompsonville?

A ski resort.

Great idea.

Let's hit the slopes mid-July

and break all four of our ankles.

Maybe there's a campsite.

Shit.

What?

You don't actually want to camp.

I do.

No you don't.

I do.

Go away.

Oh my God, I do.

- I do. - Go away.

You coming?

Yeah.

Is it bigger than a bread box?

What?

I don't know.

It's one of those questions they used to ask

on those little electronic things.

- It is about exactly the size of a breadbox.

About exactly.

Exactly, it is exactly the size of a bread box.

Is it a bread box?

Yeah.

What the hell?

What?

Why would you choose a bread box?

It's what they used to ask

on those little electronic things.

Oh my God.

What? What?

Stop fucking calling me.

What was that?

Tyler.

Tyler, Tyler?

That's the one.

I thought you guys stopped talking.

I stopped talking, he never shut up.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

It's just,

he's such a nobody.

What does that mean?

He just gets so jealous of everyone.

He obsesses over anyone who can do anything better than him.

Sorry you dated a shit head.

It's okay.

Tyler sucks for a thousand reasons.

Yeah, he was possessive and annoying.

Yeah, but he was also just stupid.

Whenever I tried to talk to him about bigger things

he just got bored.

Big things?

Yeah.

How so?

Art, politics, religion, existence.

Those are big things.

Tyler was annoying,

but at least he wasn't a big thing.

Yeah, there's the bright side.

Yeah.

Want to set up this tent?

Come on.

Oh no.

This is definitely not a camp site.

It is a site where we can camp.

Charlie?

Yeah?

I know you're not gonna admit that grandpa might die.

But hypothetically, say he does.

Okay.

Doesn't it freak you out?

I guess, a little.

One second he's our grandpa and the next he's a corpse.

So I don't know, doesn't that make you uncomfortable?

Sure, yeah.

So you're pretty indifferent towards grandpa's death.

What? No, no, I wouldn't say that.

Then what would you say?

I mean, everybody dies eventually, you know?

And, and then life moves on.

It, it just does.

So you could move on just fine after a relative dies?

I guess.

I mean.

You know, once you've been around for enough deaths,

and you reach a certain age.

What, 22?

Yeah, these four years make a huge difference.

You don't even know.

You're so pretentious.

I'm not pretentious.

Yes you are, the way you said that.

You said that pretentiously.

You can't say something pretentiously.

There, you just did it again.

How's college?

College?

College is fun.

Philosophy is?

No, I switched out of Philosophy.

To?

English.

But?

But English is just as useless.

Well, shit.

I know.

What are you gonna do?

Well, I could write, or I could be a teacher,

but I don't really feel like going to grad school

and burying myself in debt.

Are you writing?

Trying.

Cool.

Do you want to ask me about my life?

You said that very pretentiously.

How's your life?

It's fine.

Okay.

Why do you do that?

Do what?

Whenever you asked what's going on with me,

and I say nothing, you say, okay.

I don't know, I mean,

you know what's going on with you better than anybody else.

But you don't even pry.

Do you want me to pry?

No, I just I want you to care.

I do care.

I just don't want to bug you about stuff

you don't want to talk about.

It's okay, it's fair.

Is there something you want to talk about?

Okay.

Do you believe in a God?

Not really.

Do you believe in

anything?

I don't know.

Do you?

Who knows?

Well, you do.

I'm gonna get sleep?

Lame-ah.

- What? - You're lame.

You were the one who wanted to camp in the first place.

At least stay awake to enjoy it.

You know that word is offensive to actual lame people.

It's an outdated word.

There are always gonna be people who can't walk.

Lame.

I'm gonna go to sleep.

I thought you were going to bed?

I am.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Morning.

What?

I went to see the sunrise.

Why?

Because it's beautiful.

Let me sleep.

Come on.

No.

Come on, time to get up.

No.

Why?

Because.

That's a fake answer.

I'm really comfortable right here, thank you.

Why are you acting like this?

Because it doesn't matter if I wake up

now or later or tomorrow or never.

Come on, we gotta go get the car.

And we got to get back on the road.

Why?

If the car didn't break down, we'd be there already.

Okay, but the car did break down

and we're already put behind.

So what's it matter if you let me sleep a little longer?

It's nine o'clock,

that's a totally reasonable time to wake up.

Normal people don't wake up earlier than they have to,

to watch the sunrise.

It was beautiful and awesome, and you should have come.

Charlie, do you know that the pretty colors in the sky

are caused by pollutants in our atmosphere?

So the same thing that's killing all of us

and ruining all of our futures,

is what caused those pretty sky colors

that you just got so excited about.

No, I didn't.

Fuck Charlie!

What is it?

I'm tired.

Let's go take down this tent.

I can't do this anymore.

Do what?

I just,

I don't want to carry all these supplies back to the car.

Can I just pack up here and go?

Sure.

Nope.

Not ready yet.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay, when will it be ready?

I don't know,

but I can offer you some water in the meantime.

A plastic water bottle?

Yup.

You know, these things are killing our planet.

Are you thirsty or are you not?

Do you have a recycling bin?

If you don't have a recycling bin,

I'm gonna take this elsewhere and recycle it myself.

I don't have a bin.

Your car'll be ready at four.

Where did you get a gun?

I bought it.

How?

It's an antique.

What does that?

There's loopholes.

Okay.

Don't tell mom.

- I'm telling mom. - Don't tell mom,

it was an episode, it won't happen again.

It was clearly premeditated.

It's over, don't tell mom.

So what are we gonna do with it?

I don't know.

Google it.

We Google it?

Yep.

Okay, I don't know what.

Hey Google, how do I dispose of a firearm?

Okay, yeah, got it.

Okay, this says deactivate firearm

and turn it into art.

What?

No, sorry sorry, that's it.

How do we deactivate it?

What's so funny?

Well, why does the article suggest turning it into art?

Why not just deactivate it?

Oh my God, send a letter to the author.

I don't know.

Cement.

Cement?

We deactivate this gun by pouring cement into it.

Then let's go get cement.

Okay, I'll find a hardware store.

How long till our car is ready?

Two hours.

Yikes.

Okay, we can find an ATM and

head into town in the meantime.

This is staying with me.

Fine.

Hey, hey, I love you.

Oh gross, cooties.

What the hell?

What?

Why aren't you taking this seriously?

Charlie, let me take this however I want to take it.

- Shit! - What?

- Shit! - What?

What's wrong?

My book is ruined.

I mean, you dropped it in the water.

I didn't think I would need it anymore.

Right.

We should go.

Check out the dune.

Wanna check them out?

Do you want to talk about something?

Sure.

Do you want to talk about?

No.

Then, what do you want to talk about?

Name something.

Okay.

What about human rights?

No, greeting cards.

I feel like birthday cards are kind of fake.

I appreciate a birthday card.

Sure, okay,

but then you set it down and you completely forget about it.

Yeah, but that's all greeting cards.

Do you dislike every greeting card?

I don't know.

What about sympathy cards?

Those are the worst.

Why?

Well, I feel like every time someone gives you an

I'm sorry for your loss' card.

That's the last time the card-giver

will ever acknowledge your loss.

That's dark.

So what, you don't like any kind of greeting cards?

Halloween,

and Saint Patrick's Day.

Why those?

Because there's never really an obligation

to give someone a card on a stupid holiday like that.

Okay yeah, yeah, I like that answer.

Thanks.

Pancakes.

I'm gonna miss grandpa.

He's not dead.

He might as well be.

I'm full.

I'm not hungry, do you want some?

What?

Excuse me, can we get a box?

- Oh, and the bill. - Sure.

I haven't even got my food.

Oh, sorry right, make that two boxes.

Sorry.

Why are we leaving?

I don't like eating in front of.

Hannah.

Stay here.

What?

Stay here.

Hey, hey Tyler.

Oh, hey Hannah.

What are you doing here?

What am I doing here?

Yeah, this is crazy.

Tyler, are you following me?

Are you following my sister?

What, no.

Do you like terrorizing your exes?

The hell man, I'm not-

Go back home.

Or watch me dial 9-1-1.

Hey, thanks.

No problem.

Was that why?

No.

Part of it, maybe, subconsciously.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

It's okay.

I doubt we'll see him around anymore.

Yeah, me too.

Let's get out of here, I'm burning.

I'm going to the bathroom.

Go for it.

Hey mom.

Yeah, that Tyler, he had followed us all the way there.

No, I don't know how long he'd been following us.

Yeah yeah, she said it might be part of the reason why.

Why what?

Why what?

Why what Charlie?

Part of the reason why what?

It's hard to believe that space

just keeps going and going and going.

What was that?

Hello?

Hi.

Is there something you need or?

Sorry, I just have no idea where I am.

Okay, well you're in Leland.

Leland, okay.

Do you need to borrow a phone or something?

Oh no, I have one.

I'm just trying to get my bearings, thanks.

Are you a nomad?

Yes, I am a nomad actually, but all of my gear was stolen.

Whoa.

Who took your gear?

I was hitchhiking and the driver, he was crazy.

He pulled over and he kicked me out and took all my gear.

That is so screwed up.

You want to warm up?

Yeah.

So like, what are you do in the winters?

Huh?

You know, middle of January.

What do you do so you don't freeze to death?

Well, usually I have a backpack full of blankets

and a portable heater.

But well, I'll have to rethink my stance on hitchhiking.

You are easily the coolest fucking person I've ever met.

What?

Is she not?

I think she's pretty cool.

You always been a nomad?

I mean, kind of.

Where are your parents?

My parents were nomads but,

they moved to Florida for the warm weather.

So did my grandparents.

And I wanted to stay, so I did.

Do you have any other family?

No.

I can't imagine that lifestyle.

I'm used to it.

Sounds like it.

So, what's the craziest thing that's ever happened to you?

I ran from a bear once.

No way.

Yeah.

Where?

Somewhere deep in the woods.

I had left my campsite to go to the bathroom.

And when I came back there was this

huge black bear with its head buried in my tent.

I spotted it from like a hundred feet away.

And I was about to back away,

but there was this book I was reading,

a book my parents had given to me before they left,

and I really needed this book.

And so I was a little tired

and probably prone to poor judgment,

but I approached the tent to save the book,

'cause well, I'm an idiot.

And of course the bear took his head out of the tent,

and it just looked at me

for a second

and it breathed really deep

and steady like,

but I really wanted this book,

so I clutched it and I darted into the woods.

And just as I started running, the bear started running,

and I remember thinking, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die.

So I threw the book.

What?

It was a hard cover, so it really flew.

But yeah.

I threw the only thing I wanted to save.

And?

And the bear chased after it.

And I held my breath.

And I don't know if it was a few minutes

or an hour or what but,

eventually I didn't hear anything,

just total silence.

And I figured it was clear, so I walked back to my campsite,

which looked virtually on touched.

I was just missing my book.

I almost can't believe you were chased by a bear.

Thanks, me too.

I'm sorry about your stuff.

Do you want to camp here tonight?

I mean,

we're camping here anyway and we have an extra hammock.

- Grace? - Right?

Should we be doing that?

I mean, are you gonna use it tonight?

Well, no.

Great, then.

You can use Jasmine's.

Thanks.

Hey,

do you believe in astrology?

No, not really.

Neither do I.

I'm a Pisces but I don't really know

what that means, but it's interesting.

It is.

When's your birthday?

January.

January what?

January 25th.

You're in Aquarius, that's right before Pisces.

My sister's into that stuff,

so I just kind of know the dates.

But you don't believe in it?

No.

What do you believe in?

I don't really know yet.

I've got a lot of time to figure that out.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Good morning.

Morning.

I'm gonna go wake up Scott.

Wake up, wake up.

Do you have any plans today?

There's not much to do around here,

but we always find something interesting.

Cool, I'm good with anything.

Sweet.

Awesome, you're so easygoing.

I'm gonna go help wake Scott up a little bit more gently.

Scott, Scott.

You got 'em?

Oh yeah, I got 'em.

Ladies.

Only the finest brews from Michigan.

Isn't your dad gonna miss his special beer?

No, he stocks up.

My dad loves this kind,

and he might actually kill me if I took it.

Hannah, do you like beer?

Yeah.

It's good.

It's dark.

Yeah, well that's because it's a stout.

You're 18 years old, asshole.

Don't pretend you know everything about beer.

Hey, listen up.

You gotta start young so you can catch up.

Catch up to who?

The 47-year-old father from the Midwest?

I didn't know you were funny.

I know vagabonds are supposed to be funny.

So, you ever meet other nomads?

Not really.

We just pretty much keep to ourselves.

So you don't go to nomad parties or like nomad dates?

No, it's a pretty lonely life.

Can I kiss you?

What?

Sorry, it just sounds like you haven't

kissed anyone in a while,

so I figured, you know, if I leaned in

it might be really weird,

but now that I'm thinking about it,

it's probably weird now.

The moment we've all been waiting for.

Come on now, there you go.

Hold on.

So I brought this.

Sorry guys.

So my brother's in town,

so I copped us a little treat.

No way.

Yes. Fucking way, Jasmine.

What type of chip would you want to be if you were a chip?

A Dorito.

Which type?

I'm really glad I met you.

Yeah, same.

It's been a crazy week.

Really?

Yeah.

How so?

Just busy.

Sorry.

Who was that?

No one.

Okay.

Can I kiss you again?

Yeah.

Just answer it.

Are you sure?

Yeah, seriously.

Okay.

Hey.

Sorry about that.

You're fine.

Long call.

Yeah.

Do want to talk about it?

It's fine.

I don't want to bore you with the details.

It's fine, what's up?

So

I broke up with my girlfriend this week.

So she hasn't been, she hasn't stopped calling me,

asking things like, what did I do wrong?

And I'm just like, oh my God, you didn't do anything wrong.

Yeah.

So I'm sorry, but am I like, am I like a rebound?

Kind of.

Cool.

- Hey, it's not. - It's cool.

Okay.

So yeah, it's just like super annoying.

It's like, oh my God, please stop calling me.

Like we're done.

I'm sorry.

That's cool.

Hey.

You're it!

Well, the trail doesn't loop,

so maybe we should head back.

I think it goes a little farther.

I have nothing to do today.

I feel like we should get back home.

What do you have to be back for?

I mean, yeah sure, we can keep going.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

It doesn't really seem like you want to.

We could go back to my place and watch a movie, it's just-

I get it.

Get what?

It's cool.

Babe, come on.

It's not what you think.

Babe?

You just met this bitch.

Jasmine.

No, it's fine.

No, it's not.

I'll see you guys later.

Hannah?

Hannah?

Are you gonna chase after her?

I don't know if she wants me to,

it's just kind of

- complicated. - I'll do it.

- Okay. - Cool,

but we're leaving.

We are?

Yes, we are.

Oh, I mean, I kind of want to-

No.

Okay.

I think they're going back to Jasmine's.

I'm so sorry about-

I mean,

I totally get it.

It wasn't cool.

But it makes sense.

But it wasn't cool.

Thanks.

So when do you move on to the next town

or whatever you do?

Grace.

I figured.

I figured you figured.

It's a cool story though.

Thanks.

But you know, any of it true?

No.

Where are you from?

Grand Haven?

I have an aunt that lives there.

Really, small world.

What does she do?

She works at one of the elementary schools.

Which one?

I don't know.

Her name is Lindsey Fielding.

I don't know her.

Big world.

Yeah.

No, I'm down there all the time

for holidays and reunions and stuff.

You know, I'm down there all the time

because I live there.

What's your number?

Maybe we can meet up, exchange bear chase stories.

Here.

Yikes, there are a lot of missed calls here.

Oh, that's my brother and my mom.

Is it an emergency,

or are they just needy?

A little bit of both?

Probably.

You know, I bet you,

I could get Scott to come down there with me.

That won't be necessary.

Okay, then we can just meet up, hang out.

Do you know the way out of here?

No.

But we can figure it out.

Are you sure I can't give you a ride anywhere?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Okay well, if you need anything at all,

or if you're ever in the area again, you have my number.

Thanks.

It's been great meeting you.

Oh, I have your clothes.

I'm still wearing your coverup.

No no, keep it.

Thanks.

Well, are you sure I can't give you a ride somewhere?

Yeah, I'm sure.

I'll see you around then.

Okay.

You scared the living shit out of me.

I know.

Are you okay?

- Yes. - Are you sure?

I'm fine.

I was really worried.

Well I'm here now, so it's all okay.

Where were you?

I didn't tell mom

that you were missing.

What?

No, I told her the car broke down again,

I blamed it on the last place.

Didn't she want you to put me on the phone?

She did.

I told her that you didn't want to talk to her.

I probably wouldn't have.

That's what made it believable.

Well, that sounds like a really irresponsible decision.

It was, but you're here now.

So, all's good.

Yeah.

You know I had to tell them.

I know.

Also,

grandpa didn't make it.

So there's no rush to get there now.

I guess not.

Hey, good morning.

I'm sorry I ran.

You don't have to apologize.

I do.

And, thank you.

We gotta make one more stop.

We gotta get rid of this.

Yeah.

Are we really just gonna throw it away?

Yeah, I mean it doesn't work so it should be fine.

Let's recycle it.

Doesn't make any difference.

It's not gonna get recycled

if you just throw it in a recycling bin.

Really?

Probably not.

Wait.

Can we, can I look at it for a second?

Sure.

Okay.

Okay?

- All right. - All right.

You know, I think it wouldn't have been recyclable.

You ready?

You know they're gonna wanna talk about it.

I know.

Beautiful service.

Yeah.

Fucking crazy week.

No kidding.

Still want to go camping while we're up here?

I didn't want to go in the first place.

Fair.

How are you feeling?

Fine.

Yeah?

Yeah.

What did mom and dad say?

What about?

About you?

What about me?

Hannah.

We're gonna try therapy,

and see if that works.

Probably a good move.

Probably.

Do you think you it will?

Sure as shit hope so.

Here.

What is this?

It's a, it's a story.

Sure I can't convince you to come camping?

No way in hell.

Hey, what about a hike into Tahquamenon?

All right, your loss.

It's brown.

Yeah, it's copper.

That's what makes the water dirty.

Weird.

It's natural.

Like life.

Hmm?

It looks dirty, but it's natural.

Really?

Yeah, I think so.

I hope so.

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull