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1
00:00:02,700 --> 00:00:03,865
Oh, man, check that out.
2
00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:06,036
It's been years since I've
been on a good party bus.
3
00:00:06,142 --> 00:00:09,210
I'm going to drink a whole
bottle of tequila by myself.
4
00:00:09,318 --> 00:00:11,118
Yeah, it's gonna be
just like spring break,
5
00:00:11,224 --> 00:00:12,357
but with air conditioning.
6
00:00:12,461 --> 00:00:15,084
Yeah, and no drunk white
boys on the bus, okay?
7
00:00:15,152 --> 00:00:15,700
See?
8
00:00:15,804 --> 00:00:17,270
Soon as the white boys get drunk,
9
00:00:17,376 --> 00:00:19,609
they want to start taking
their clothes off and all that.
10
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,582
And speaking of getting
drunk, George, this time,
11
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,254
don't get drunk and pass out in public.
12
00:00:23,359 --> 00:00:24,925
I'm not trying to end up on TMZ.
13
00:00:25,031 --> 00:00:26,830
I smoked a lot of weed that time, okay?
14
00:00:26,936 --> 00:00:29,203
This time, I'm keeping
it real... 100% alcohol.
15
00:00:29,309 --> 00:00:31,476
Maybe weed. Maybe.
16
00:00:31,582 --> 00:00:33,787
Speaking of which, did you bring
17
00:00:33,847 --> 00:00:35,913
the Domino's Pineapple blunt wraps?
18
00:00:36,020 --> 00:00:37,853
- Yeah, they're in there.
- Ahh!
19
00:00:37,958 --> 00:00:40,225
- You got the food?
- Of course.
20
00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:42,999
Chicken from Prince's, hot and
mild, every side imaginable,
21
00:00:43,106 --> 00:00:44,572
and dessert from Arnold's. Yeah.
22
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:47,278
And the unopened box of
silverware and glassware
23
00:00:47,385 --> 00:00:48,918
because you never know
whose nasty-ass mouth
24
00:00:49,023 --> 00:00:52,158
- has been on the shit before you.
- "Befoa" you.
25
00:00:52,266 --> 00:00:55,334
Oh, there's also a medical kit
and a defibrillator in there
26
00:00:55,434 --> 00:00:59,167
because y'all are several
decades away from spring break.
27
00:00:59,308 --> 00:00:59,985
Hold on.
28
00:01:00,089 --> 00:01:02,589
You trying to say we can't
turn up the way we used to?
29
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,262
I mean, I think you can try.
30
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:07,135
But, you know, if things
go south, just... clear!
31
00:01:07,243 --> 00:01:08,576
[LAUGHS] I see.
32
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,047
Well, I'm gonna grab my bags.
My flight leaves in an hour.
33
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,687
I'll see y'all in Nashville.
34
00:01:12,792 --> 00:01:13,991
- Sounds good.
- That's cool.
35
00:01:14,096 --> 00:01:15,028
Let's do this thing.
36
00:01:15,133 --> 00:01:16,699
[HORN HONKS]
37
00:01:18,342 --> 00:01:19,508
Hey, fellas.
38
00:01:20,415 --> 00:01:22,114
Ed, what the hell is this, man?
39
00:01:22,219 --> 00:01:23,886
This is my ride, man. You like it?
40
00:01:23,991 --> 00:01:26,158
We're supposed to go
on the bus and all bond.
41
00:01:26,265 --> 00:01:27,898
I love y'all like family, man,
42
00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:29,936
but I got a stigma
with them busses, man.
43
00:01:30,042 --> 00:01:31,241
It's bad luck.
44
00:01:31,345 --> 00:01:32,745
First time I was on a bus,
45
00:01:32,850 --> 00:01:34,783
I found out "Malcolm and
Eddie" was canceled, y'all.
46
00:01:34,889 --> 00:01:36,122
Another time I was on the bus,
47
00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:39,727
my-ex wife Carla said "Bye,
[BLEEP]" and took the house.
48
00:01:39,837 --> 00:01:42,003
Last time I was on the bus, man,
49
00:01:42,109 --> 00:01:45,144
I found out Parliament
Funkadelic broke up.
50
00:01:45,252 --> 00:01:46,918
Oh, man, I remember that.
51
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,624
The funk was gone.
52
00:01:48,729 --> 00:01:50,629
No, you're not gettin' on the bus.
53
00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:53,035
- So we're good?
- We're good.
54
00:01:53,141 --> 00:01:54,441
I'll meet y'all at the venue.
55
00:01:54,546 --> 00:01:56,813
- All right, man.
- Later, dudes.
56
00:01:59,025 --> 00:02:01,592
Before we depart, let's
remember the sacred rule
57
00:02:01,699 --> 00:02:06,202
of touring on a bus...
no number twos, okay?
58
00:02:06,313 --> 00:02:08,346
No shitting on the bus.
59
00:02:08,452 --> 00:02:09,985
- You're right.
- Everybody knows that.
60
00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:11,323
We're clear on that.
61
00:02:11,428 --> 00:02:14,262
Everybody knows that,
unless it's an emergency.
62
00:02:14,369 --> 00:02:15,869
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
63
00:02:15,974 --> 00:02:17,273
Unless you really gotta go.
64
00:02:17,378 --> 00:02:18,511
No, no, no.
65
00:02:18,615 --> 00:02:21,349
Everybody knows don't
do it unless you got to.
66
00:02:22,527 --> 00:02:24,093
I'mma go. I'mma go, guys.
67
00:02:25,736 --> 00:02:26,768
[THEME MUSIC]
68
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:31,918
?
69
00:02:37,188 --> 00:02:41,118
1x02 "Get Off the Bus "
Oct 19, 2017
70
00:02:41,188 --> 00:02:46,024
- Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod -
www.addic7ed.com
71
00:02:46,128 --> 00:02:48,094
This ass whoopin' gonna be all night.
72
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,566
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
73
00:02:49,672 --> 00:02:50,904
I'm twistin' it up right now.
74
00:02:51,008 --> 00:02:56,311
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
75
00:02:56,424 --> 00:02:58,057
Get down!
76
00:02:58,163 --> 00:03:01,097
This blunt is made with fireproof weed.
77
00:03:01,205 --> 00:03:03,205
- CEDRIC: Ahh!
- Ahh!
78
00:03:03,310 --> 00:03:05,744
Why is it always this fried chicken?
79
00:03:05,851 --> 00:03:07,918
I ate so much macaroni and cheese,
80
00:03:08,024 --> 00:03:09,990
I put my shit on layaway.
81
00:03:11,334 --> 00:03:12,567
That's what I got.
82
00:03:12,671 --> 00:03:14,838
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
83
00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,910
Give me some of that. Dump me like that.
84
00:03:18,789 --> 00:03:20,422
Oh, damn! Oh, watch out!
85
00:03:20,527 --> 00:03:23,595
[SHOUTING]
86
00:03:24,706 --> 00:03:28,040
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
87
00:03:28,149 --> 00:03:30,182
No more Mexican liquor. Jesus Christ.
88
00:03:30,288 --> 00:03:30,935
Do you know what [UNINTELLIGIBLE]
89
00:03:30,968 --> 00:03:32,034
means in Spanish?
90
00:03:32,103 --> 00:03:34,528
- DL: What?
- Give it to a black guy.
91
00:03:34,635 --> 00:03:37,335
[LAUGHTER]
92
00:03:37,442 --> 00:03:39,009
No such thing. No such thing.
93
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,421
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
94
00:03:43,526 --> 00:03:44,725
Horrible!
95
00:03:44,831 --> 00:03:45,830
[LAUGHTER]
96
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,099
Cheers, fellas!
97
00:03:48,106 --> 00:03:51,074
This tour was a good idea, bro!
98
00:03:52,285 --> 00:03:53,284
You know what?
99
00:03:53,388 --> 00:03:54,654
We guys are gonna kill this bitch.
100
00:03:54,758 --> 00:03:57,659
- DL: I remember I had a liver.
- CHARLIE: And now I don't.
101
00:03:57,767 --> 00:03:59,734
[LAUGHTER]
102
00:04:00,810 --> 00:04:02,109
Aah!
103
00:04:04,019 --> 00:04:07,254
[SNORING]
104
00:04:13,312 --> 00:04:16,013
I was all self-conscious
'cause I didn't know
105
00:04:16,121 --> 00:04:18,421
if my penis was cool or lame.
106
00:04:18,527 --> 00:04:21,695
I guess you never really
know until a chick sees it.
107
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,070
- Hey, pull over right up here.
- Are you sure?
108
00:04:24,177 --> 00:04:26,144
That's not on the route,
according to Google Maps.
109
00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:29,885
According to Eddie Griffin,
pull over right up here.
110
00:04:29,994 --> 00:04:32,828
Oh, I see why you didn't
want to ride the bus.
111
00:04:32,935 --> 00:04:35,903
Little side mish, huh? That makes sense.
112
00:04:36,011 --> 00:04:37,811
That whole story about
buses being bad luck,
113
00:04:37,917 --> 00:04:39,583
that was so crazy.
114
00:04:39,688 --> 00:04:42,155
[LAUGHS] That was so true.
115
00:04:42,262 --> 00:04:45,497
White Terry, you get
paid to take Eddie Griffin
116
00:04:45,605 --> 00:04:47,238
where Eddie Griffin want to go.
117
00:04:47,344 --> 00:04:50,145
You don't get paid to
talk my ear 'til it bleeds.
118
00:04:50,252 --> 00:04:52,252
I'm goin' deaf over here.
119
00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:53,891
- Sorry.
- Huh?
120
00:04:53,996 --> 00:04:54,995
[LOUDER] Sorry.
121
00:04:55,099 --> 00:04:56,599
- I can't hear you!
- I'm sorry!
122
00:04:56,704 --> 00:05:00,672
Keep your eyes on the road.
Don't say nuttin' else.
123
00:05:00,783 --> 00:05:02,916
- It's just...
- "Silence of the Lambs"!
124
00:05:03,022 --> 00:05:05,056
"It puts the lotion on its skin..."
125
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:11,676
[COUNTRY MUSIC]
126
00:05:11,781 --> 00:05:17,718
?
127
00:05:18,868 --> 00:05:20,101
Man, I'm draggin'.
128
00:05:20,213 --> 00:05:22,246
[GROANS]
129
00:05:22,825 --> 00:05:23,849
So what we do?
130
00:05:23,950 --> 00:05:25,950
Somebody order me some
coffee or somethin'.
131
00:05:26,056 --> 00:05:27,322
I'll be right back.
132
00:05:27,426 --> 00:05:28,720
- Where are you going?
- Oh, leave me alone.
133
00:05:28,779 --> 00:05:29,825
Lower your voice man.
134
00:05:29,882 --> 00:05:31,533
Whatcha gonna do, man?
You're gonna go n�mero dos?
135
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:32,229
Oh stop.
136
00:05:32,237 --> 00:05:33,372
GEORGE: That's what we call it... dos!
137
00:05:33,477 --> 00:05:36,879
Everybody poops, DL. They
wrote a book about it.
138
00:05:36,987 --> 00:05:38,453
You should know. You're the book guy.
139
00:05:38,558 --> 00:05:42,660
[CHUCKLES] My head is killin' me, man.
140
00:05:42,770 --> 00:05:44,803
Hey, look, could y'all lower your voice?
141
00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:46,409
I'm not yelling. You're yelling.
142
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:47,847
[TRAFFIC]
143
00:05:50,158 --> 00:05:51,891
[BELL RINGS]
144
00:05:51,996 --> 00:05:53,162
Hi. Hi, excuse me.
145
00:05:53,267 --> 00:05:54,900
I was at the Biscuit
Barrel across the street
146
00:05:55,005 --> 00:05:57,005
and their bathrooms are
really, really crowded.
147
00:05:57,111 --> 00:05:59,545
So I was hoping that you
would let me use your restroom.
148
00:06:00,755 --> 00:06:05,558
[RADIO IN BACKGROUND]
149
00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:07,202
Se habla ingl�s?
150
00:06:07,307 --> 00:06:11,142
[SPEAKING KOREAN]
151
00:06:11,253 --> 00:06:13,319
Oh, oh, uso bathroom-o.
152
00:06:14,795 --> 00:06:17,596
No free toilet. You rent room.
153
00:06:17,704 --> 00:06:18,703
You... you're kidding.
154
00:06:18,807 --> 00:06:20,674
100 dollar.
155
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:23,014
I'm not paying $100 to use the bathroom.
156
00:06:31,812 --> 00:06:32,580
Here, take the money.
157
00:06:32,644 --> 00:06:34,613
If I didn't have bubble guts,
this would not be happening.
158
00:06:34,648 --> 00:06:35,445
You take this money.
159
00:06:35,488 --> 00:06:37,822
Here... here you go... here you go
160
00:06:37,929 --> 00:06:40,396
This is a stereotype.
161
00:06:40,503 --> 00:06:42,236
That's why stuff got real at the riots.
162
00:06:43,746 --> 00:06:44,878
[BELL RINGS]
163
00:06:46,354 --> 00:06:47,443
I get it, man.
164
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:50,324
I just want some coffee, get
back on the bus and lay it down.
165
00:06:50,432 --> 00:06:52,065
That's right, that's
right. That's right.
166
00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:53,303
- Stop yelling!
- MAN: Lopez!
167
00:06:53,407 --> 00:06:55,073
- What?
- �Qu� pasa?
168
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:58,148
It's Troy. Troy Canning?
169
00:06:58,254 --> 00:07:00,554
I play football for
Cincinnati, defensive end.
170
00:07:00,661 --> 00:07:02,628
We met at that party
last year, remember?
171
00:07:04,205 --> 00:07:05,204
Oh, yeah.
172
00:07:05,308 --> 00:07:06,474
Hey, Roy. What's up, man?
173
00:07:06,578 --> 00:07:07,844
- [LAUGHS]
- [COUGHS]
174
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,949
Aw, my bad. This is
my boy Brock Timland.
175
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,155
What's up?
176
00:07:11,259 --> 00:07:13,459
- What's up, bro?
- What's up?
177
00:07:13,565 --> 00:07:15,799
You guys are a little
ways away from Cincinnati.
178
00:07:15,906 --> 00:07:18,306
What are you doing way
out here in the boondocks?
179
00:07:18,412 --> 00:07:20,102
Man, Brock here just
got cut by the team,
180
00:07:20,130 --> 00:07:21,755
so me and some of the
other players thought
181
00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:23,617
we'd take him out for
a little hunting trip.
182
00:07:23,737 --> 00:07:26,094
Nothing some hunting and a
shit ton of booze can't fix.
183
00:07:26,202 --> 00:07:27,452
[LAUGHTER]
184
00:07:27,596 --> 00:07:28,862
You guys wanna party with us?
185
00:07:28,966 --> 00:07:30,466
- No, no.
- Aw, come on.
186
00:07:30,571 --> 00:07:32,171
Hey, man, we've been drinking all day.
187
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:36,145
We're trying to just rejuvenate
ourselves at this point.
188
00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:39,624
[LAUGHTER]
189
00:07:39,732 --> 00:07:41,898
Dude, you're hilarious, man.
190
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:44,872
Come on, you can have a
beer with your boy, right?
191
00:07:45,359 --> 00:07:48,448
You know what? Roy...
192
00:07:48,556 --> 00:07:50,156
George, don't.
193
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:54,397
I think we could probably
force one down, huh, guys?
194
00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,039
Boom! That's what I'm talking about.
195
00:07:56,145 --> 00:07:57,730
Hey, boys, let's get
some pictures over here.
196
00:07:57,774 --> 00:07:58,727
hey movin in.
197
00:07:58,735 --> 00:08:00,452
Let's make some room
for the big boys here!
198
00:08:00,558 --> 00:08:03,159
I'm gonna show you fellas
how to get wild boy wasted.
199
00:08:03,266 --> 00:08:07,501
[LAUGHTER]
200
00:08:07,611 --> 00:08:10,479
We're gonna get lit! Woo!
201
00:08:23,825 --> 00:08:25,024
[DOOR KNOCKS]
202
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,433
Hey, Eddie.
203
00:08:28,539 --> 00:08:31,607
This is so exciting.
We've been waiting for you.
204
00:08:31,715 --> 00:08:32,914
He's here!
205
00:08:33,018 --> 00:08:34,551
[DOG BARKING]
206
00:08:41,881 --> 00:08:43,814
You see, it's all connected.
207
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,620
In the Bible, they call them angels.
208
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,759
The angels arrived on a chariot of fire.
209
00:08:47,865 --> 00:08:50,098
The only means of transportation
back then was a chariot.
210
00:08:50,204 --> 00:08:52,238
What would you call a spaceship landing
211
00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:53,943
with flames coming out the bottom?
212
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:55,649
- You get it?
- REX: Yup.
213
00:08:55,754 --> 00:08:57,654
The angels are really the aliens.
214
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,227
Now, we see here in Buenos Aires,
215
00:09:00,334 --> 00:09:04,603
here in Alamogordo, as well as Roswell
216
00:09:04,714 --> 00:09:07,247
just a month ago, the
exact same formation.
217
00:09:07,354 --> 00:09:10,956
That's irrefutable proof,
ladies and gentlemen,
218
00:09:11,065 --> 00:09:13,132
that they're doing recon missions.
219
00:09:13,238 --> 00:09:14,804
We were right!
220
00:09:14,909 --> 00:09:20,446
[APPLAUSE]
221
00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:21,892
We were right!
222
00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:25,798
Whoa! Just amazing!
223
00:09:25,908 --> 00:09:29,510
Rex, Rex, you guys
are doing the everyday,
224
00:09:29,619 --> 00:09:31,485
boots-on-the-ground hard work.
225
00:09:31,590 --> 00:09:34,024
Keep it up. The world
is counting on you.
226
00:09:34,131 --> 00:09:36,899
Gosh, Eddie, that means
the world to us, really.
227
00:09:37,007 --> 00:09:39,340
- Isn't that right, everybody?
- ALL: Yeah!
228
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:41,113
We can't tell you how much we appreciate
229
00:09:41,219 --> 00:09:43,286
you coming to speak to us.
230
00:09:43,392 --> 00:09:45,692
We got something for you.
231
00:09:45,798 --> 00:09:48,332
We want to present to
you... thank you, Xena...
232
00:09:48,439 --> 00:09:51,207
with this token of our thanks.
233
00:09:51,307 --> 00:09:55,664
Here we have the weapon
used by Aang in the classic
234
00:09:55,711 --> 00:09:59,195
M. Night Shyamalan film,
"The Last Airbender."
235
00:09:59,304 --> 00:10:01,004
Horrible movie.
236
00:10:01,109 --> 00:10:03,243
Ignore him. He's a mental midget.
237
00:10:03,349 --> 00:10:06,917
Rex, is this the real
one from the movie?
238
00:10:07,026 --> 00:10:08,993
Oh, no, it's a replica
239
00:10:09,099 --> 00:10:12,066
that I made to look just
like the one in the movie.
240
00:10:12,174 --> 00:10:15,542
Rex, my brother, you got skills.
241
00:10:15,651 --> 00:10:19,052
I've done some light cosplay
so it's really no big deal.
242
00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:20,827
Well, to each their own. Thanks, Rex.
243
00:10:20,933 --> 00:10:21,765
You're so welcome.
244
00:10:23,173 --> 00:10:28,109
Ladies and gentlemen, as we
always, in closing, say... chum!
245
00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:29,820
Oohhoolakaha shaha!
246
00:10:29,925 --> 00:10:32,459
Chum! Oohhoolakaha shaha!
247
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:37,402
- Lay, lay, lay, wawawa.
- Lay, lay, lay, wawawa.
248
00:10:37,514 --> 00:10:41,717
- La, belololo.
- La, belololo.
249
00:10:41,827 --> 00:10:43,960
- Come on, White Terry.
- Come on, White Terry.
250
00:10:44,066 --> 00:10:45,799
- No, not that!
- Not that!
251
00:10:45,905 --> 00:10:47,705
- [BLEEP], damn!
- [BLEEP], damn!
252
00:10:47,810 --> 00:10:49,110
- Shit!
- Shit!
253
00:10:50,719 --> 00:10:52,786
- [GROANS]
- Where I'mma go from here, man?
254
00:10:52,892 --> 00:10:54,425
Football's all I really know.
255
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:55,729
Aw, come on, Brock.
256
00:10:55,833 --> 00:10:57,733
I'm sure a guy like you's
got plenty of options.
257
00:10:57,839 --> 00:10:59,506
Like what?
258
00:10:59,611 --> 00:11:02,578
I can't use computers.
My damn fingers' too big.
259
00:11:02,686 --> 00:11:04,386
I tried to drive an Uber.
260
00:11:04,492 --> 00:11:06,659
Nobody wanted to get in
the car with my big ass.
261
00:11:06,765 --> 00:11:09,299
Besides, who would want to get
in a small car with me, anyway?
262
00:11:09,406 --> 00:11:12,107
Or you could get a car
that's bigger than you.
263
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,814
It'd be a start.
264
00:11:13,919 --> 00:11:16,186
Good point, but everybody expect me
265
00:11:16,293 --> 00:11:18,560
to read all good and shit.
266
00:11:18,666 --> 00:11:20,699
I believe it's read all well and shit.
267
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,505
BROCK: Well? Well?
268
00:11:22,611 --> 00:11:24,344
There's gotta be things you could do.
269
00:11:24,449 --> 00:11:25,515
What about...
270
00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:27,085
What about being a Chippendales dancer?
271
00:11:27,190 --> 00:11:28,256
They pay good money.
272
00:11:28,361 --> 00:11:30,595
The lap dance. $200 for a lap dance.
273
00:11:30,701 --> 00:11:32,167
What about a manicurist?
274
00:11:32,272 --> 00:11:33,938
Yeah, you could be a clothes stretcher.
275
00:11:34,043 --> 00:11:38,279
You know, people that, you
know, like their clothes loose.
276
00:11:38,389 --> 00:11:40,523
What about a wrestler? A pro wrestler.
277
00:11:40,630 --> 00:11:42,196
You're a big fella.
278
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:44,334
It worked for The Rock. You
see what he's doing lately.
279
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:45,506
I see.
280
00:11:45,610 --> 00:11:47,010
You think my mind not worth anything?
281
00:11:47,115 --> 00:11:48,347
No, okay, Brock? No.
282
00:11:48,451 --> 00:11:50,251
Like all I'm good for is goin' around,
283
00:11:50,357 --> 00:11:52,758
bashing peoples' heads into somethin'?
284
00:11:52,865 --> 00:11:54,164
You think I'm stupid. That's it?
285
00:11:54,268 --> 00:11:55,668
CEDRIC: Okay, bring it in.
286
00:11:55,773 --> 00:11:57,506
Brocker, stop whinin'
and chug it up, brother!
287
00:11:57,612 --> 00:11:59,745
Come on, Roy. He's
already had a lot, man.
288
00:11:59,851 --> 00:12:01,952
You're an enabler. That's
not a good thing to do.
289
00:12:02,058 --> 00:12:03,657
No, he... he... he got a point.
290
00:12:03,762 --> 00:12:05,362
No, we come here to party, boy!
291
00:12:05,467 --> 00:12:06,433
- You're right!
- Yeah!
292
00:12:06,538 --> 00:12:07,696
- You're right!
- ROY: Ah ha!
293
00:12:07,737 --> 00:12:08,702
You're right!
294
00:12:08,711 --> 00:12:09,977
Oh no.
295
00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:12,216
- No.
- CEDRIC: [GROANS]
296
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,820
Yeah, ha ha!
297
00:12:13,925 --> 00:12:16,192
- GEORGE: Come on, man, damn.
- Roy...
298
00:12:17,402 --> 00:12:18,801
- Ha ha!
- Woo!
299
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:22,041
- Yeah!
- Woo! Ha!
300
00:12:22,149 --> 00:12:28,053
[SHOUTING AND LAUGHING]
301
00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:29,399
[NO AUDIBLE SPEECH]
302
00:12:30,607 --> 00:12:32,140
Put it down, all right?
303
00:12:32,245 --> 00:12:33,778
[LAUGHTER]
304
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:37,522
[TOILET FLUSHING]
305
00:12:39,031 --> 00:12:45,035
WOMAN: [MOANING]
306
00:12:47,756 --> 00:12:49,956
[MATTRESS SQUEAKING]
307
00:13:00,159 --> 00:13:02,326
- I was leaving.
- Join us!
308
00:13:03,402 --> 00:13:04,401
Ooh!
309
00:13:07,747 --> 00:13:08,946
[BELL RINGS]
310
00:13:10,321 --> 00:13:12,388
- Hey, I want my money back.
- No refund.
311
00:13:12,494 --> 00:13:14,561
You let Father Time and
one of the Golden Girls
312
00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:15,933
have sex in my room.
313
00:13:16,038 --> 00:13:18,372
You say you only need
toilet. That take five minute.
314
00:13:18,478 --> 00:13:19,777
No refund.
315
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,249
They was makin' an old
people porno in my room.
316
00:13:22,355 --> 00:13:28,359
[SPEAKING KOREAN]
317
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:31,877
- [LAUGHTER]
- I don't know what you said,
318
00:13:31,984 --> 00:13:33,750
but I'm pretty sure my
answer is [BLEEP] you!
319
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:34,788
[DING]
320
00:13:34,892 --> 00:13:36,458
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
321
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:39,800
DL: What are you... what the hell?
322
00:13:41,210 --> 00:13:42,843
Yeah, you shut the [BLEEP] up!
323
00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:46,416
You chain up a black man,
there go your Yelp review.
324
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,110
What are you doin' with chains?
325
00:13:51,199 --> 00:13:52,498
[SHOUTING]
326
00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:55,584
Keep going! Keep going!
327
00:13:55,658 --> 00:13:56,319
What about that? You see it?
328
00:13:56,393 --> 00:13:57,152
No, keep going, keep going!
329
00:13:57,317 --> 00:13:58,496
ROY: You ain't looking
in the right spot!
330
00:13:58,539 --> 00:13:59,078
Keep going.
331
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:00,655
- You gotta focus!
- Keep going.
332
00:14:00,744 --> 00:14:03,768
George, George, George. We
gotta get out of here, man.
333
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:05,283
GEORGE: I wanna go, but where's DL?
334
00:14:05,396 --> 00:14:06,629
I don't know, man,
335
00:14:06,733 --> 00:14:08,299
but people are startin'
to videotape this.
336
00:14:08,404 --> 00:14:11,305
If it gets on the web, it's
gonna be all about us, man.
337
00:14:11,413 --> 00:14:12,879
These guys play football.
They wear helmets.
338
00:14:12,984 --> 00:14:14,217
We're the famous ones.
339
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:15,626
We're gonna get blamed for all of this.
340
00:14:15,699 --> 00:14:16,824
I'm outta here.
341
00:14:16,929 --> 00:14:18,139
[LAUGHTER]
342
00:14:18,173 --> 00:14:21,267
- Hey, Charlie!
- I've seen the light!
343
00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:22,741
Let me do you!
344
00:14:22,845 --> 00:14:24,612
ROY: Don't be scared, man. Come on!
345
00:14:24,718 --> 00:14:26,351
I've seen the light,
man! Don't be scared!
346
00:14:26,456 --> 00:14:27,855
Wait, wait, wait.
347
00:14:27,961 --> 00:14:30,528
I'm down to do it, but I
really wasn't paying attention.
348
00:14:30,635 --> 00:14:32,735
I'mma need y'all to
show me how to do it.
349
00:14:32,841 --> 00:14:34,174
Show me how to do it.
350
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,448
Like... like this. Like this.
351
00:14:36,552 --> 00:14:38,118
[LAUGHTER]
352
00:14:38,223 --> 00:14:41,658
That's how you do it?
Is that the way to do it?
353
00:14:41,767 --> 00:14:43,267
- Not yet!
- [GASPS]
354
00:14:44,408 --> 00:14:49,144
[SHOUTING] Charlie Murphy!
355
00:14:52,231 --> 00:14:53,997
Chug, where you goin'?
356
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:55,168
I had to go.
357
00:14:55,273 --> 00:14:57,073
I was like, hey, look,
I see somebody, y'all?
358
00:14:57,178 --> 00:14:58,878
Quick, quick, close the door, man!
359
00:14:58,984 --> 00:15:00,350
I don't hear nobody comin', man.
360
00:15:00,454 --> 00:15:01,987
CHARLIE: Close the door quick.
361
00:15:02,092 --> 00:15:02,957
Ow!
362
00:15:03,062 --> 00:15:04,161
[SHOUTING]
363
00:15:04,266 --> 00:15:04,890
What's goin' on?
364
00:15:04,977 --> 00:15:07,201
[SHOUTING] Party on the bus!
365
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:13,311
[CHANTING] Party on the bus!
Party on the bus! Party on the bus!
366
00:15:13,375 --> 00:15:15,882
[CHANTING] Party on the
bus! Party on the bus!
367
00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:18,402
Woo!
368
00:15:19,038 --> 00:15:21,319
[CHANTING] Party on the
bus! Party on the bus!
369
00:15:24,037 --> 00:15:27,204
I did not know you were into
all that alien Illuminati stuff.
370
00:15:27,313 --> 00:15:29,046
You just keep on surprising me, bro.
371
00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:32,588
First off, I ain't your bro, bro.
372
00:15:32,695 --> 00:15:36,463
Second, you sound stupid.
You sound ignorant.
373
00:15:36,572 --> 00:15:39,340
Everybody know Illuminati
does some bullshit except you.
374
00:15:39,448 --> 00:15:40,547
Yeah, of course.
375
00:15:40,651 --> 00:15:42,284
I ain't done nuttin'
but the butt-naked truth.
376
00:15:42,389 --> 00:15:44,856
Straight, no chaser. You understand me?
377
00:15:44,963 --> 00:15:46,062
Thelonious Monk.
378
00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:48,701
No, you're blind, boy. You need
to use your eyes, you understand.
379
00:15:48,808 --> 00:15:50,508
You play piano? No.
380
00:15:50,613 --> 00:15:51,846
Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles did.
381
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:53,149
They blind mother [BLEEP].
382
00:15:53,254 --> 00:15:55,287
What are you doin'
with a driver's license?
383
00:15:55,409 --> 00:15:58,300
Hey, it looks like the guys
stopped off for a little BB.
384
00:15:58,337 --> 00:16:00,579
- What the hell is BB?
- The Biscuit Barrel.
385
00:16:00,818 --> 00:16:02,014
Look, why don't you make a U-turn
386
00:16:02,064 --> 00:16:04,198
so we can go on in there? Okay, you bet.
387
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,407
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Chained, man.
388
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,781
They got DL chained up,
man. [BLEEP] position.
389
00:16:15,888 --> 00:16:17,221
Come on, White Terry!
390
00:16:18,863 --> 00:16:19,995
DL: This is false imprisonment.
391
00:16:20,091 --> 00:16:21,068
It's illegal. You
know you can't do that.
392
00:16:21,077 --> 00:16:22,312
Hey DL, what the hell's goin' on
393
00:16:22,455 --> 00:16:24,155
with the handcuffs and shit around here?
394
00:16:24,260 --> 00:16:26,260
Thank God you're here. They made
me rent a room to use the bathroom,
395
00:16:26,366 --> 00:16:27,632
and then they did this.
396
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,603
You could've just went out in the woods.
397
00:16:29,710 --> 00:16:30,375
He steal!
398
00:16:30,478 --> 00:16:31,510
[SPEAKING KOREAN]
399
00:16:31,614 --> 00:16:32,847
What the [BLEEP] is y'all problem?
400
00:16:32,952 --> 00:16:34,719
[ARGUING]
401
00:16:34,824 --> 00:16:37,024
Guys, guys! Hey, hey!
402
00:16:37,131 --> 00:16:41,014
I got this. I got this.
I got this. I got this.
403
00:16:41,443 --> 00:16:43,543
[SPEAKING KOREAN]
404
00:16:43,649 --> 00:16:46,917
WOMAN: [SPEAKING KOREAN]
405
00:16:47,928 --> 00:16:48,927
[SPEAKING KOREAN]
406
00:16:49,032 --> 00:16:50,564
[LAUGHTER]
407
00:16:50,669 --> 00:16:56,673
[SPEAKING KOREAN]
408
00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:04,296
[SPEAKING KOREAN]
409
00:17:05,212 --> 00:17:07,079
- Deal.
- Ooh!
410
00:17:07,184 --> 00:17:08,817
[LAUGHTER]
411
00:17:10,527 --> 00:17:11,660
What happened?
412
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:14,498
I talked them down to a
prorated figure of $20.
413
00:17:14,605 --> 00:17:15,804
You negotiated with them?
414
00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:18,677
Also, you have to leave a
nice review of their motel.
415
00:17:18,784 --> 00:17:20,717
You gotta be kidding me.
416
00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:24,863
Thanks, Abraham Lincoln.
417
00:17:24,969 --> 00:17:29,138
Free at last, free at
last. Praise God Almighty.
418
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:32,849
Be careful, bro. You need
me, I'm right out here.
419
00:17:32,958 --> 00:17:36,968
If I see another brother in
here chained up, I will be back.
420
00:17:37,371 --> 00:17:38,637
You know what?
421
00:17:38,742 --> 00:17:40,708
You're horrible people, and
I hope this place burns down.
422
00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:46,965
Well, well, well, if it
isn't the freaky asses.
423
00:17:52,592 --> 00:17:54,724
- DL, you good?
- Yeah, I'm all right.
424
00:17:54,791 --> 00:17:56,257
Old Terry got a mouthpiece on him.
425
00:17:56,362 --> 00:17:58,229
- Yes, he does.
- It's not a big deal.
426
00:17:58,335 --> 00:18:00,502
Not a big deal? Man,
you're fluent in that shit.
427
00:18:00,608 --> 00:18:02,141
Well, you spend two years
428
00:18:02,246 --> 00:18:06,215
in a North Korean labor
camp and you learn.
429
00:18:06,325 --> 00:18:09,524
It was a dark two years. Two
years that I will never...
430
00:18:09,576 --> 00:18:11,334
- You hungry?
- I could eat.
431
00:18:11,439 --> 00:18:13,439
Hey, hey! Come here,
come here, come here.
432
00:18:13,545 --> 00:18:14,777
What the hell is happening here?
433
00:18:14,883 --> 00:18:16,249
- Shh!
- Hold the bus!
434
00:18:16,354 --> 00:18:17,820
Martin Luther King did all that work
435
00:18:17,925 --> 00:18:19,725
and black people still
on the back of the bus.
436
00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:22,130
It's like nine football
players up there, man.
437
00:18:22,237 --> 00:18:24,070
They're goin' crazy.
They doin' tequila shots.
438
00:18:24,176 --> 00:18:25,441
They doin' steroids.
439
00:18:25,547 --> 00:18:27,113
And that shit don't go together, man.
440
00:18:27,218 --> 00:18:29,218
I don't want the 'roids,
but pass me the tequila.
441
00:18:29,324 --> 00:18:31,124
CEDRIC: Call Paul Tagliabue.
Call the NFL, somebody, man.
442
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:32,529
Hurry up, man.
443
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:33,899
They're making me do the Nae Nae.
444
00:18:34,004 --> 00:18:35,103
I'm gettin' tired!
445
00:18:35,208 --> 00:18:39,677
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
446
00:18:39,788 --> 00:18:41,588
Prostate? �Ay, dios m�o!
447
00:18:41,693 --> 00:18:43,626
I've got an idea. I've got an idea!
448
00:18:43,732 --> 00:18:46,099
Get Ray Lewis on the phone.
Get Todd Downing on the phone!
449
00:18:46,206 --> 00:18:48,940
[LOUD MUSIC]
450
00:18:49,047 --> 00:18:50,580
[SHOUTING]
451
00:18:50,685 --> 00:18:52,944
Everybody! Everybody! Everybody!
452
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,832
Move it, move it, move it, movie it!
453
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,944
- Eddie Griffin?
- Back yo drunk ass up!
454
00:18:57,153 --> 00:18:57,691
I'm a huge...
455
00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,619
Shut up! Huge fan?
456
00:18:59,918 --> 00:19:01,551
I know what a huge
fan is, mother [BLEEP].
457
00:19:01,656 --> 00:19:02,889
It's what you need to turn on.
458
00:19:02,994 --> 00:19:06,010
It [BLEEP] smell like goat
ass up in this mother [BLEEP].
459
00:19:06,077 --> 00:19:07,835
Hey, come on, y'all,
say it! Where y'all at?
460
00:19:07,941 --> 00:19:09,474
Charlie!
461
00:19:09,579 --> 00:19:10,912
Gracias, Se�or Eddie.
462
00:19:12,387 --> 00:19:14,754
Hey, good luck with the job, big fella.
463
00:19:15,168 --> 00:19:16,832
Get up.
464
00:19:16,842 --> 00:19:19,067
Y'all play football, dontcha? Huh?
465
00:19:19,173 --> 00:19:21,140
Pass the weed! Give it on over here!
466
00:19:21,246 --> 00:19:22,646
Boy, look at that. Touchdown.
467
00:19:22,751 --> 00:19:23,783
Drop!
468
00:19:23,887 --> 00:19:25,720
Give me 15 if you wanna
stay in this league.
469
00:19:25,826 --> 00:19:27,760
15! You wanna stay in this league?
470
00:19:27,865 --> 00:19:30,032
[GRUNTING]
471
00:19:30,139 --> 00:19:32,439
Jumping jacks right now! Jumping jacks!
472
00:19:32,545 --> 00:19:33,644
I want jumping jacks!
473
00:19:34,335 --> 00:19:36,318
Now Nae Nae!
474
00:19:36,424 --> 00:19:37,990
Do the Nae Nae.
475
00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:39,461
You can have it!
476
00:19:40,568 --> 00:19:42,034
Come on, man. Let's go.
477
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,473
Buses, I told you, bad luck.
478
00:19:44,580 --> 00:19:45,879
I know, I know. Let's go.
479
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,384
Get the [BLEEP] outta here.
480
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:53,567
GEORGE: I didn't think
the bus was that bad.
481
00:19:53,673 --> 00:19:55,244
Maybe we should try it again next week.
482
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:57,210
CEDRIC: I'm with Eddie
now. Buses are bad luck.
483
00:19:57,281 --> 00:19:58,562
DL: So are motels.
484
00:19:58,630 --> 00:19:59,380
CEDRIC: What's wrong with motels?
485
00:19:59,444 --> 00:20:01,975
oh *, you wouldn't believe
the whores I've seen.
486
00:20:02,025 --> 00:20:06,575
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