All language subtitles for Situation.amoureuse.Cest.complique.2014.FR.BDRip.XviD-iND_fre-en

It all started in the sixth.
I was the basic student,

who makes believe that he works
while he does not care.

There, I'm looking for a signature,

while we are spoken to
of the Ottoman Empire, or Italy.

I was quiet
without problem, without project,

and she has arrived.

Children,
I introduce you to Vanessa Bestel.

She comes from the United States of America.

My name is Benjamin Rivière,
I am 11 years old,

and for the first time in my life,
I'm in love.

In college, we knew
that we were going to live eternal love.

- Are you leaving?
- No.

But it was more concrete for me
only for her.

River,

I told you to come back again.

For her to understand well,
I had to use strategies.

River, what will you get first?
Your patent or puberty?

There, for example, it was flight.

We do not have maths.

Here: that of photomontage,

which allows to stay
close to the loved one,

without her being there, or consenting.
It was not bad, as a strategy.

You do not have to
to show that to the end.

Benjamin, stop fiddling with you
with jojoba shampoo.

I'll take you to the dermato more.

But I did not do anything!

In third, I thought:

"I am the tank of love,

"the Caterpillar of passion."
I was going to tell Vanessa everything.

Hey ! Guys !

Kurt Cobain is dead!

That is true
that's because of this guy.

It is not serious. I have my text,
from Goldman. She can not say no.

- Vanessa ...
- Shit !

Too bad.

There, I will be pathetic.

"Whatever I do,

"wherever I am,

"nothing will erase you.

"I think of you."

A few days later,
she returned to the USA.

I never saw him again.

Yes !

- We had to open!
- You lost my key.

I have to tell you something.

It is necessary that you come.

- What?
- The job told me nothing to tell you,

but I have to tell you.
I can tell you ?

Obviously.

The box has contributed.
We can leave where we want

during 10 days,
for the honeymoon.

In business!

- Whore !
- We are going to watch.

Hold on. I spent 8 hours
on the marriage of 2 cons.

So the computer, there ...

We'll see it later.

Good. OK. Well, I do not know.

We put ourselves in the sofa
and we tell each other things that are worthless?

Or on this pouf made of jeans
and socks already worn.

That's what I do:
I put the clothes on.

I make a big selection.

Fed up,
but I always live alone at home,

so I'm still entitled to my brothel.

You do not want
to go join the others?

If we stay there, we'll still
talk about the preparations.

It's in 15 days,
so we will talk about it.

I can use my cowardly card,
for tonight ?

What you are, my poor.

Gift of my girl.

What is it ?

He smashes.

- There is nothing to add.
- That's it, huh.

You did not call back my guy?

What guy?

Claude Champagne.
My buddy DJ who smashes.

He mixes not far, after,
If you want.

- "Claude Champagne"?
- He has beautiful calves.

We will not engage
everyone who likes you!

And it's a wedding.
They have a limited budget.

And his name is Claude Champagne!

- That is true.
- They have a witness

who smashes.
They can not afford everything.

Because you get paid, too?

Given the level of speech
that I write, it deserves a ticket.

Well, why did you choose Jeremy,

since the witness
is supposed to be the best friend?

- The rehearsal!
- No, but I ask!

It's not Jeremiah
who will get him his PQ.

I was looking for PQ.

- You were next.
- I'm downloading his series.

All the idlers do it except him.

But you do it for yourself!

In 4 seconds, you have succeeded
to break my balls.

I'm going to get a drink.

- It's okay ?
- It's okay. And you ?

Oh ! River!

What are you doing here?

- How are you, Sylvain?
- Oh no. Kisses, my penis.

- It's okay ?
- Yes. Great.

We have not seen each other since ... 10 years?

No. 2 years. We had crossed
at Apple of bread.

You had taken a villager.
You did not stay

because you had to see
an African diplomat

for an oil field.

- Was it all over, at least?
- Ah yes ! No.

- Shit.
- I'm hyper speed. Sorry.

I'm going to Singapore.
I have to trace.

OK. You're going broke
without me telling you "the" thing.

Never mind.

What do you want to say to me ?

Warning. You will not believe it,
what am I going to tell you?

Well ...

What is the info
that I could give you

directos the chicanos
who will you saw the guiboles?

Well, I do not know.

- It's from far away.
- Simpler.

Who came to ask me for a loan
no later than yesterday?

Bruce Willis.

No. Someone real.

I do not know, Sylvain.

- I have to go. I am speed.
- Bestel.

Vanessa Bestel.

Vanessa Bestel,
the most beautiful ball of the USA.

With his loaves
to $ 1 million.

The most beautiful girl
we have known.

- There is a lot of people ?
- I do not see who it is.

It'll be back to you.
She comes in 2 min.

- Right here ?
- Yes here.

This is not possible.

No, Sylvain. I go.

I go.

So, for info,

she was dumped.
She's coming back to settle down.

Do whatever you want with it.
If you have business, all the better,

but I will have told you.

Now, if you have any stuff
to do, have fun.

You can not say
I did not tell you.

Why are you telling me this ?

"Why do I tell you that"?

Because 15 years later,
for the first time,

you, Benjamin Rivière, average student
Georges Brassens College,

you can consider Vanessa
for a plan of life.

Ah.

I think we can say
that it promises, what I tell you.

Great. Magnificent.

Let's move.
There are only revelers tonight.

The atmosphere begins
to be less good

and it will not get better.
We trace?

Do not drink a glass first?

Your friend, the blogger,
she wants a drink with us.

She ends a tweet and she arrives.

So we shift,
we move, we trace now.

We can pass
at my friend's house, next?

Very good. It's a good idea.

Like that, we dance, too.
It's good. We never dance.

Give me a cigarette,
please.

It cleans up. It is...

We're going to lunch at 10:30 pm
while smoking cigarettes?

Well, we never do it.

- Man, how are you?
- Yes.

- So let's go.
- Yes.

Go ahead. You treat us.

- It looks sweet.
- It's a great job.

You come with us ?

No. You return to your place.

Stop crying. He's your kid.

He's your kid.

Arnold, Cyril and Alex.
It's the Breakfast Club.

Good awakening.

Hello.

How are you, sweetheart ?

Yes.

What?

Ben, soy milk. That's what.

Who will lose this world?
It's soy.

And polystyrene, obviously.

We found
why was it good?

Because it's not for taste.

No surprise, you'll tell me.

Who is it?

This is that old friend from high school
who will not let me go.

He absolutely wants ... He comes
to return to Paris, he is lost,

he wants us to see each other
at the end of the week.

- Do you want me to come with you?
- No.

Leave it alone.
The guy is ultra relou.

Myself, I hesitate to go there.

And then we have other things to do,
this week,

an important thing,
instead of being pissed off with that.

No ?

No, but you're fine, you're a nice guy.

You see it,
there is 2 minutes.

I go there, then?

I do not even know
why are we talking about that?

Do you care about the world?

What is valid there
is valid here.

It's been 25 times that I say it.
It's your hallway. That, my hallway.

Go away.

You walk in the water, I run you.

It's hot, there.

- Whore.
- Sylvain ...

Ah. Coolard.

Hey ! Did you see that ?

Neoprene, buddy. The future.

My tribute to the Big Blue.
Roberto mio Palmo.

- What was Jean Reno's name?
- Enzo.

Exactly.

Eric Serra, My Lady Blue ...
The beautiful era, what.

Yes. We do not care.
What happened to you?

Nothing. It is a delusion.
I will explain you.

Why did you bring us here?

We are better than at the office, there.
The colleagues are prettier.

Vanessa will come really, there?

You remember what I said,

when Aymeric
we had locked in the chest?

No.

I told you :
"I'll help you go out with her."

- With Vanessa?
- Yes !

But 15 years ago.

Ben, happy birthday,
because here she is.

Oh, the bitch.

Hi, Vanessa.
Is everything ok for you?

Excuse me.
I was held at the restaurant.

I'm not staying long.

Sorry. It's gone alone.
But you were super brutal.

Do not worry. I understand.
It's the jetlag, the shift.

You thought I wanted to fuck you.
No worries. That's what I bring you.

This is Benjamin Rivière. The guy.

4 consecutive delegate,
undefeated from the whole college,

incidentally an adorable guy
and my best friend.

100% capricorn.
It's velvet.

Hi, Vanessa.
It's funny, to meet again.

Hello. Sylvain spoke to me a lot
of you.

That's it ? You give it?

Sylvain, what do we do? I sign ?

Why an appointment here?

It's more fun
only locked in an office.

I have the papelards.
We will land there.

You help me ? I am in business.
There is choure.

- There is shoure?
- Yes.

When we went to the pool,
to college,

when we forgot our things,
we had 3 points less.

There, for example,
you have 3 points less.

Correspondence book.

One day, I forgot my things,
therefore, 3 points less.

In fact, it was Aymeric Leguennec
- you were out with -

who had hidden them
in a cloakroom.

I had not forgotten my things.

- "Aymeric Leguennec"?
- Yes.

Oh my God ! Yes !

But it's a name of the past, that.

Yes.

And you, Vanessa, go,
to attack the capital.

You come back to Paris 15 years later,
you run

and you restart from scratch.
Waitress in Paris.

No.

No. I open my restaurant.

Okay ! Your restaurant!

Yes.

Wow!

Today's special,

ticket restaurant ...
- You, Ben, what are you doing?

I make wedding films.

"Wedding movies."

It's funny.

- Oh?
- If you're getting married,

you're sure to do a great thing.

So, coconut banana smoothie
for the beautiful

and raspberry for the beast ...

of sex.

For those who love swimming,
it's happening corridor 4,

and it is now.

Push yourself, Rahan!

I like him, anyway.

Me too. I love it.

I will not be too late, Vanessa.
I am speed.

Yes. Me too.

I have to go away.

- It's okay ?
- Well no.

It's blocked.

Take my straw.

No thanks.

- OK.
- I am allergic.

- Here. I stop here.
- My restaurant is 2 minutes from here.

The. To the right. Ah! Awesome !

- We're neighbors, actually.
- It's good.

Ciao. Thank you.

Hello.

Ciao. Wait, Ben!

- I do not have your number.
- Ah.

I'm here.

I found it on the floor.

I said to myself :
"Good, as much as to pick them up."

He was not that bad?

Finally, no.

We fucked all afternoon.
I dismounted it.

Even in failure,
you manage to make valves.

You told me that I was sexy,
in failure.

Yes. Anyway.

We go to bed early.
Tomorrow there is Biarritz.

I had forgotten the dogs
of 6 meters.

Do not be smart, son-in-law.
They are fighting tigers.

Stopped.
You know he's afraid of dogs.

Yes, but it's like my sons,

so he has to sympathize,
because you are going to be brothers-in-law.

Excuse me, but I have only one girl,
and you steal it.

Normal that I imagine you
to make you eat by my dogs.

- What loving father would not do it?
- Dad !

She's good, your shirt.

Come on, come in my arms.

I am happy to see you.

Since I'm busy
of your marriage, I have tendonitis,

to the shoulder.

It is painful.

If not, does it advance?
You need help ?

It's starting to get bad.

So, 1st news:

Magalie will not come.

She left me last night.

I had just offered him the Adidas
she wanted.

It's difficult,
but we said that ...

That we did not talk about it.

So,

for the lawn,

the first good news
who just dropped:

Pierre-Luc comes
to give me his consent.

He will take care of the lawn on Monday.
That's good.

OK. So the grass is good.
Great.

Deuzio. Benuche,
did you manage the sound system?

The guy has to call me back.

Otherwise, I have Noémie,
the daughter of the Grondins.

She knows how to put records.
She is a fairground girl.

They have a sound system.
There will be a crazy atmosphere.

Is that okay?

- Yes. Perfect.
- Are not we waiting for my guy?

Well, we have to move on.

Good. Otherwise, where we are bored,
it's for the buffet.

Magalie had to do it.

Forgiveness to mention it,
but here is the quack.

Whore.

Why I offered him
these pumps?

I'm not up to it.

I messed up my 2 weddings,
and there, I'm selling yours.

You are in the middle of
nothing to do at all.

Finally, we will find a caterer.
It's not hard!

It's okay. For now, we pay nothing,
so we can do something!

You will not carry everything!

Everything you do
so far, it's perfect.

Hey, Ben?

Yes ! Hold on...

Thank you for telling me that.

I thought I was going to cry.
We are not chicks!

He would miss more than that.

Follow me.

You stay here.
It's a story of fellows.

I'm not supposed to have shown you,
So you shut your mouth.

Rather than make an envelope ...

- I was going to offer you more
of 7 000 euros -,

I thought
to make you a gift more ...

staff.

What I meant there,
it's with marriage,

you become one person.

I allowed myself
to imagine your penis.

For size, I did not know.

On the other hand,
I made you nice bells.

Ah.

Oh fuck. Take care of yourself.
It's Madame.

Yes Dear. I am sorry.

Me neither, I did not think it.

You know well
I was not going to drag you

at the back of the car
on the parking.

We are not cowboys.

You tried them?

Do not you touch at the end?

She does not touch the end.

Yes Yes Yes.

Right away.

Magalie is coming back! Its good !

You see, it's funny,
but I always knew it.

Ah yes ?

Funny, huh?

Oh fuck.

It makes me crazy.
I am happy !

So, everything is pinning.
You have it, your buffet.

- Ah. Yes !
- Eh yes !

Do not say anything to Juliet.
It's going to be a surprise.

I explain to you. Magalie is a fan
of Viking culture,

so with her sister, for the wedding,
they will prepare a viking buffet.

- That is to say ?
- Well, all the food of the Vikings!

From mead, game to galore ...

hawk, all raptors.
Finally, viking, what.

And that makes you a theme.

Do not give a fuck
and everything is done in your place.

You're painted, huh!

Viking buffet
it's a little phew, right?

He tells me we're going to eat
raptors.

Let him take care of it.
It makes him happy.

I will manage it,
his buffet delirium.

I ask you to take care
the last things that remain.

incidentally,
really if you have the time.

There is the list there.

You only make 15%,
already, that's good.

Ben, then there ...

I will even make 40%.

I thought of little things.
You must not believe.

Hey ! I love you, huh.

I love you.

I left 40 E on the table
for Veronica. Do not take them.

Whatever.

Hi beauty. It's Pierre-Angel.

I wish you
to be happy, Juliet.

You are beautiful.

Before disappearing,

I would like to read you this passage
of Sexus, Henry Miller.

"Me,
I withdrew a few seconds,

"to leave the tool
cool a little.

She dipped her hand
in the puddle,

"sprayed me a few drops.
Wonder !

"She was on all fours,

"begging me to take it backwards.

"On all fours, I followed her."

He is shit or what, him!

Do you want to shake my girl?

He's crazy, him.

You're lucky.

Hello?

Yes, Vanessa.

So here I put my big table,

atmosphere a little canteen,

like that, people sit down
and get to know each other

It's done everywhere.

Hold on. One second, Ben.

Hello?

Yes, Robert.

The tables had to be delivered to me
A week ago,

and I still do not have them.

I look forward to them.

OK. Goodbye.

- What?
- I love Mr Bretzel.

- Did you do that?
- Yes.

I put that there
because there is a hole behind.

It's all ugly.
I will remove it afterwards.

Well no ! You must not!
I thought it was there on purpose.

It's the boss, Mr. Bretzel.

I want to change my mind.

- Do you want to do something?
- Yes.

Great.

"Flock under the storm."

Put yourself in front of this canvas.
I take you in picture.

- Before that?
- Yes.

But do something cool!

More cool.

Perfect.

Your turn now.

Before Flock under the storm.
You'll see the effect it does.

- Hello.
- Hello.

I really love what you do.

Your body, all that,
in this fluid space,

it's breathing.

It makes me think of...

a wave,
to a big beautiful wave.

It makes me want
to resume surfing.

I have a gallery and 3 paintings to me,
in this exhibition.

- Hello.
- Hush!

Hush, hush, hush.

You hear ?

You hear this music?

No.

It's barely noticeable,
but it's the music of life.

And I love life. And you ?

It's crazy, huh?
We do not expect it.

We are there, we are here, paf,
and suddenly,

it is necessary.

That's my card,

with all you need on it.

Do not lose it.

Once...

Ah! My God. I was about to forget.

I am a musician, too.
I have a guitar at home.

He's crazy, him, or what?

In her head,
I could not be your guy.

- I was your little brother.
- Stop, Ben. We do not care.

I prefer a hundred times
that a guy like you comes to flirt with me

rather than a heavy one like that.

Go say that to my college years,

because we still talk
of desert.

I do not understand
why are you stuck on these years?

It seems so far away!

We are no longer in college.

- Can I ask you something ?
- Yes.

You could make a movie
for my restaurant?

For the site, for the Facebook.

- Hold on. For the...?
- "Facebook."

"Facebook."

It's funny how you say it.
In France, we say rather "Facebook".

You can never be serious, huh.

Good. You'll do it, this little movie,
for me ?

Yes.

You will find this amazing.

- What do you mean ?
- I'm disappointed,

you have not said it yet,
while I'm sure

that you had to say that all the time
"This is amazing."

- "This is amazing."
- That's right, we say it a lot.

- Thank you.
- What are you doing tomorrow night?

- Why ?
- The evening of Sylvain.

Ah yes. That thing.
He does it every year, but hey ...

I never go there.
It's creepy, his thing.

We do not care. We're going there together.
We are going to laugh.

- OK.
- Yes ? OK.

Good. I go.

Just...

I will say something serious.

Thank you.

I had a very cool afternoon.

And I think you're amazing.

It's too good.

She's kidding, your shower. It is necessary
maybe you let go of the apartment.

This is my dad's flat.

You were able
do the tricks of the list?

Oh no.

What?

Ben, you make me shit.

You're getting married, too.

It's not complicated ! There is nothing left.
What did you do today?

This is the debate?
Bad question,

because I did
enter a contract.

Eh yes. It means
that I will do it tomorrow.

But you're right,
I am a looser who does nothing

and that does not go to the end of things.

If you want the list to be made,
give it to PA. He will go to the end.

Why are you talking to him?

Do not worry, go.

I saw his poem on your Facebook.

It's so rotten
that I wanted to show you.

Eh yes. You're sick. Eh yes.
Laughter to hide embarrassment.

He's a poor guy alone,
that's why I like it.

- Yes Yes Yes.
- And you read my messages, you?

Since a guy
what do you like about it,

disgusting, in addition,
on your Facebook.

He, this guy,
I see it, I bust it.

Yes.

Do you know me.

You know well
that I am not like that.

You have a problem with him.
Do not return the thing.

I was about to call him.

- Ah yes ?
- Yes, I was going to call him.

- So what ?
- Well, I did not do it.

But I have a reason.
You will not get away with it like that.

I was going to call him,
but I thought about the consequences.

I am not an irresponsible.

The guy is your superior.

To not fuck shit
in your job, I hung up.

Excuse me for thinking.

Sorry.

I think you think too much,
at the moment.

Tomorrow, you do, huh?

Yes.

- Do you want something?
- No.

Hey !

How are you doing,
to burst it? Like this?

- With your little arms?
- What, "my little arms"?

- With a little kick?
- Small, that does not count at all.

It does not count.

This is the strike amplitude
who counts.

You are full, you.

I can be,
if I have it in front of me.

Hold on while I explain.
Like that, I pass for a con.

Strike amplitude, and paf,
in the mouth.

Action. Yes.

Go. Yes.

We turn. Yes.

Advance with me, Ralite.

Good. Mouse, Vanessa.
You are happy to be here.

Your rod, Ralite. Your pole!

Go. Acceleration.

Ralite, please, help us there.

Stop. Do not move.

Mouse.

Yes. Not bad.

Ralite, your pole.

A small paneling. Yes, Ralite.

Cup, Ralite.

And it's cut.

Not bad.

Wow! Ben! That's great !

- That is true ?
- Yes. Great. Thank you.

Well, you're welcome.

I need to start editing,
otherwise we will be late,

for mounting.

It's important for the ...

for mounting.

- See you at Sylvain's.
- Yes.

Excuse me. Goodbye.

- Kiss.
- Ciao.

Stopped.

You are with Juliette.
You are complementary.

- Yes ?
- Yeah, man.

She is OP, you, galley.

She has a pure taf,
you too, in there, galley.

She is good.
Good luck for you.

She gives you a frame.

You will never find better.

Make more foam.
I see your balls.

- Do you see me like that?
- You're an irresponsible guy.

It's already a miracle
that you have a girl ...

and soon your wife.

But you did not see the girl.

It's a brilliant bomb.
She is as beautiful as brilliant.

She did not calculate me in college,
there, she calls me all the time.

- It may be a sign.
- You know,

a bond is like McDonald's.

On the way out, you're hot,
on the return, you're in culpa.

So at 3,
you will erase this girl from your head.

But really.

In Total Recall.

One two Three.

I know if you're here,
it's because she'll be there.

So what ? I do not do anything wrong.

"Excuse me, darling.
I fucked the girl who obsesses me.

"I'm doing nothing wrong.
It's not me, it's my dick. "

I'm not going to fuck
but to be polite.

You can not understand,
you are not.

What's he doing, the other guy?

Yes !

The prince
Georges Brassens College.

Great.

My plus one. That's it.

Jeremy, my best poto,
who did not come empty-handed.

Sylvain, Jeremiah.
Jérémie, Sylvain.

There is a lot of people ?

However you want.
It is not serious.

So, be careful, buddy,
it's crazy.

So, I'm telling you ... Gaël Boudic,

Patrick Pistou,

Daniel Rabade,

Frank Petisson, Lionel Pequegnot,

Philippe Cremeche.

I'm not waiting
than Tristan and Didier.

Jeremy, put that on the bar,
with smile and eagerness.

- Please.
- It slaps, huh?

"It slams"? That's sublime.

That's sublime.

- Vanessa does not come?
- Do not worry. It's managed, that.

Excuse me. I asked 3 times
Didier to spend my Depeche Mode.

Didier!

- What's this evening?
- I warned you, it's hot.

Cremeche!

- How are you, the trickster?
- I'm happy to see you.

Ben, me too.

I would like to ask you a question
for 15 years.

Third.

Richard makes a surprise surprise.
You were next to me, you had 20.

What did you say at 2?

- The "2"?
- Yes. The 2nd question.

Well, I do not know anymore.

Fayot, go.

Mollo, huh!

What are these morons?
Who is this whew?

The worst of all.
He felt very strong.

With him, I understood that
take showers regularly.

He is a sick person.

Ladies and gentlemen, the arrival
of the most beautiful girl of the evening.

I named Miss Bestel.

Vanessa.

- It's her, Vanessa?
- Yes.

Good evening everyone.

So you became
Mr. Je-me-tape-who-I-want.

I do not get it.

I understand, there.
She is magnificent.

You have to fuck her.

And Juliet?

Nothing to fuck.
You are getting married. Enjoy!

It has to happen now.

- It's okay ?
- It's okay ?

- It's good that you came.
- I think so too. It's better.

So, Vanessa, great moment.

This is Jeremiah. Jeremiah, Vanessa.
He's my best friend.

- Nice to meet you.
- Enchanted.

Here.

They do not do that much,
at their home.

I'll get you to drink?

- Thank you.
- It's now that it's happening.

I believe
that Philippe already had this T-shirt

in fourth, no?

Yes. That is true.

Did you smell?

Vanessa, I have to tell you something.
Sorry, for this afternoon, but ...

Ben, it's me
who did anything.

We are friends,
I do not want to be embarrassed.

OK.

We are friends.
It's better. We were almost stupid.

Chupito tour.

Hop there. Go.

- To friends, to friends.
- Cheers.

Too cute. Come on, health.

It's orange.

- But dude ...
- Not bad.

It's a cowboy drink.
I'm coming back.

Yes...
We will wait 5 minutes, anyway.

Yes. Wow!

You saw ?
It is now that it goes up.

"Chupito." It is written.

We go on in tenderness.

Sequence of slow.

For demographic reasons,
boys can dance

with the boys.

We can dance a slow.
Between friends, we have the right.

Oh, I'm good.

It's not crazy either!

We kissed a little.

- It is not serious.
- Yes, but we're racing ...

It's not the best way
to be pals.

You are stupid.

Shit. My keys.

Ah. The keys hit. Of course.
I thought we were friends.

No. I swear,
it's not a shot.

I forgot my keys.
Shit. I do not have my keys!

- Does not someone have a double?
- Yes but...

not at this time,
right here right now.

It is not serious.

Come to the house.

- What?
- You will not rape me!

- Do not you want to sit down?
- No. I do not delay.

You do not have your keys.

That is true.
That's why I'm here.

Good. De-stresses. Ask yourself. It's okay.

You are the first guy
who comes to my house

and who asks me for ice cream.

Ice cream!

I come again.

Its good.

Here.

You light it?

- What? You smoke ?
- Yes.

I like to sleep.

Yes. You are right. That is true.

Give me that.

That way, we sleep ...

both

a sleep of lead

until tomorrow morning

and we sleep well. Whore. It's strong !

Hold on. I have a porn channel, me?

Well no. You need a subscription.
You have to put a code.

But it's no use,
to pay. On the Net, it's free.

Yes.

Like the kind stuff ... Youporn?

Or Pornhub, or Tube8, or Xhamster ....

You are stalled.

No, but it's for a friend of mine.

He is handicapped
and I have to put his videos on him.

Yes.

Kind of untouchable, but ass.

That's it.

Yes that's it.

It's exactly that.

Come, we look.

- What?
- I never saw that, me.

Ah, no, no, no.
We do not look at it at all.

No no no.

No.

We look...

two guys fucking each other?

Ah, no, no, no.

- No. It's not a good idea.
- Oh. It's okay. We laugh.

Otherwise, you have that.

It. The mother who teaches her daughter
with the gardener.

British mom and daughter.
In addition, it is in HD premium.

Disgusting.

OK. Go ahead. Put the.

Are you sure ?
It's his daughter, anyway.

Go ahead. Mets.

And little shortcut
which is always a pleasure ...

Here. Apple F
and you have it in full screen.

What do you believe ?
They will wait for us?

- Whore. It's dirty!
- Yes.

Good. Go. In bed, there, because ...

Buena noche. That's it, there.

How are you going, the sofa?
It's not too small?

No ! Do you laugh or what?
It's perfect.

Thank you.

Ah. Do you want me to lend you something?

What are you going to lend me?
A tanga?

I say anything.
I'm stoned.

Me too. I am broken.

Good night.

- Buonanotte.
- Buonanotte, ragazza.

Ah. Well, here you are!

I had a drink with Jeremy,
I forgot my keys ...

I took those of the babysitter.

And what is the truth?

Well, I was with Jeremiah.

And he paid you a stripper?

Well no. Why...

It had to happen,
the stroke of the stripper.

I just want you to tell me.
It was yesterday ?

No. I swear.

No. We were on the Internet
until 4 am

OK. I believe you.

- You accompany me ?
- Where ?

Run.
I want to be good, in my dress.

- OK.
- What OK" ?

You come run?

Yes. I change and I come.

It was not a stripper
but Russian whores.

A bus of Russian whores.

What is wrong with you,
to run with me?

It's sport.

My body is in demand,

so I give it to him.

You are right.

Here. Viewing.

It's here.

Do you remember ?

Yes.

The vélib.

You could not put it back.
It was so good.

With a demonstration of venerable guys
who arrived.

That was what was stressing me.

It was cute.

Do you remember
what you said to me there,

when you accompanied me here?

It was what ?

That this place was too vegetal,

it was necessary to put concrete
because we were breathing too well.

- Did I say that?
- Yes.

It's stupid.

It's the day
where I fell in love with you.

- Oh?
- Yes.

- You never told me that.
- Well no.

Hey ! Go on.
We do not make breaks.

- It's good, your jogging.
- Ah yes ?

- You have a good figure.
- What?

- Profile watch.
- What's up with jogging?

- No, but wait ...
- It is wider than high.

You could have told me, leaving!

No. It's good.

Come and sit down.

It is good, this jogging.

If you do not want us to get married,
we are not obliged.

Why do you say that ?

I saw the list. You did nothing.

I know you.
When you do not feel like ...

I feel that you are disturbed there.

Not at all. I am very jealous
to marry you.

I'm going to marry who, if not?

If we get married,
it's not to be married.

I do not care about that.

It's for you, my husband,

that you are my man.

For me, others are rotten.

Do you understand that?

I want you to be my man.

Yes.

You want some salad?

Why do you stick to me like this?

Because I'm ready.

I took time, sorry,

but I am ready.

I'm not scared anymore.

Surprise!

What, "surprise"?

We organized your bachelor party
of girl. Go get her bag.

- Hello.
- Here.

Go. Wood, wood, wood.

- Did you know?
- No.

- What? You are not happy ?
- Yes...

I am happy and surprised.

She will not drink now.
It is 2 pm!

Where are you going ?

- We can not say.
- That's the surprise.

- So what are we doing here?
- You are getting dressed.

She will leave ?

No. We will do that here.

Take a shirt.

It's you, my man.

Yeah, it's me.

The others are rotten.

I love you.

- Come on.
- Let's go.

I forgot the hoods.

What?

We are going to Croatia. Hush!

Croats are violent.

I will be dismounted.

I too love the Vikings,
Magalie,

but if you want, I'm scared ...

I'm afraid it's scary.

Since it's a lot of game,
as you confirmed to me,

I'm ...

obviously
that people will taste.

That's not what I tell you.

Beside,
we can make a proposal

which is a little more ...

Contemporary.

Roasted chicken, for example.
You see, a crazy thing.

We do not care
that it was not done at the time.

Good. Listening. Magalie, what do you know?

Leave it alone. Continue like this.

Do as you have planned.
You look like in your thing,

and anyway, you do not listen to anything.
Huh? Okay.

We do it like that.

Do what you planned.
You have carte blanche. OK ?

Thank you very much. I leave you.
I have a lot of things to do.

Really thoroughly checkout.
I am very busy. OK ?

Thank you, Magalie.

"Farvel"? It's goodbye
in viking. Okay. "Farewell."

Goodbye. Farvel to all.

- The woman...
- Go on, open it.

It's an idiotic idea,

to move to your girl at 1 week
marriage. Do it after.

I feel it now,
so we do it.

This is Vanessa? She is stupid,
your awareness.

She arrives at the wrong time.

First you ken,
then you disgust yourself.

Even I would tell you
that it's not good,

I will make you feel guilty, and afterwards
you will have the awareness.

Even the chair does not want to go.

Ah yes. Okay.

We give no news,
but to move, yes.

- How are you, Sylvain?
- How are you, big?

Before I forget...
From Vanessa.

She always talks to me about you.
You spend the night with her,

but you do not remember her.
It's not very gentleman.

- Have you spent the night with her?
- He did not tell you

because he has nothing
to make fun of you.

She is pregnant ?
I know a doctor.

You help me
where do you comment my life?

You spent the night with her
and you say nothing.

Yes, he spent the night with her.
Is it a problem for you ? Are you queer?

Your fide friend
is in love with you

I'm not queer, just his witness
of marriage. But let's be homophobic!

Are you getting married to her?

Damn, you're a fast, you.

No. With a girl
called Juliet.

- It's recent ? Since when ?
- They have been together for 3 years.

They decided that a long time ago.

- Why are you doing that, then?
- I did not do anything.

Well if. Vanessa and all ...

She is in all its states.
She is in the air, there.

Attention, huh!

I do not tolerate that.
And even! Your girl !

She knows
What do you do the con?

He is right. On that, you are average.

Are you kidding me ?

How are you. I am no longer talking to you.

You're scratched from the agenda, you.

But you,
I do not want to have to do to you anymore.

We are good people.
We do not betray his wife.

I break and you forget me.

You forget me forever.

Please excuse me.

I may have pushed
the knob a little strong.

Sorry.

No. Do not apologize. You are right.

I will tell him.

I'm kidding.

Never mind. She will hate me. Here.

I had not to do the stupid.
It's my fault. That's all.

It's exactly that.

Crisis plus communication
equal control.

- These are the 3 C.
- The famous. You told me.

- She'll hate me. It's certain.
- Yes, man. Obviously.

But less than now.

- It's horrible, what are you doing?
- She'll see you're a motherfucker,

after, you choose
what a fucker you want to be.

There is only to tell him.

Here.

It's crazy.

I know...

but I do not do it.

You know what I mean ?
I know, "you know it" ...

I knew it. Yes.
I know, but I do not do it.

You see ?

You see, when we do that?

I know, but I do not do it.

- You do it, you too, that.
- No.

Ah.

But I see very well
what it can do.

I broke a drink.

I took the time to do it,
but it's ready. It's your DVD.

- Do not you mouth?
- No, I'm not kidding,

but there is something
that I must tell you.

At the moment,
I take my life in hand.

We'll talk about it later,
because here I'm hanging out.

It's in 2 hours.

What?

My first night.
We're opening tonight, Ben.

Shit. I had completely zapped.
Besides, I had to tell you this thing.

And today.

I still have lots of things to do,
shopping. I'm going to explode.

I see you later.

You're going to be handsome.

No...

Thank you really,

but walk a little faster,
please.

I am ashamed that we find ourselves
like that, anyway.

I still have not told you
what I had to tell you.

Ben! Oh ! Ben!

Oh fuck.

He, you do not speak to him.
He is resting. Advanced. I'm catching you.

You do not answer the father-in-law?

I can not,
I am in clientele.

I am with a big client.

Hey !

Why do you have a weapon?

- It's okay, no?
- Paris.

- You understood ?
- Anyway...

It's the upheaval in my life.

Oh?

The upheaval!

Magalie,
she caught one of those boulards!

Since she made the first
Rugby Weekly,

she thinks she's Betsen, Chabal ...

- We do not get along anymore.
- Of course.

As it is very serious, you ride ...

You know what she says to me,
this morning ? "Make me a coffee."

"Make me a coffee"!

"Oh, who do you think you are?
I'm not your doggie.

"I'm not a slacker.
I'm not Ben. "

That's not ...

Yes. No. Excuse me.

In anger,
I used you.

You do not know
what she answers to me.

- She...
- Armand ... Finally, Armand. Oh !

- So, Armand ...
- How's it going sir ?

Yes, I am fine.

We're in a hurry, Ben.

Yes. That's it. We are in a hurry.

It's Paris, the speed.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Armand. Painter

looking for a muse.

Enchanted. Vanessa.

- Nice to meet you.
- Here.

Good. Armand, you go up, you ask yourself,
I give you my keys quietly.

You relax. Okay ?

Hold. This is my card.
I open a restaurant.

We are inaugurating tonight. If you want
pass, that would be cool.

My faith, yes.

Everything is pinning perfectly.

Great.

Here. Not at all. Armand,
you're taking a nap for tonight.

- We are going to work.
- OK. See you later, Ben-Hur!

- Thank you miss.
- Hey !

Yes Yes Yes. Go ahead. Monte!

You saw
How I saved you from the rehearsal?

- I was strong.
- Very strong.

You are a love. I'm changing myself.
In 2 min, I use a drink

and you tell me
what you wanted to tell me.

Surprise!

Again ?

- Vanessa, look.
- How are you ?

A second. A second.

Do not say who you are
where they will stick to you.

- Did you tell them about me?
- No.

It's okay ?

Thank you.

- Are you Ben?
- Yes.

I'm Vanessa's uncle.

- Bravo.
- Why ?

Stop making her languish,
this little girl.

She's crazy about you.

We want her to be happy.
You understand ?

It's good.

- What did you tell them?
- Nothing.

They are worried about me,

so I told them
that I had met a cool man

and I let doubt float.

Good. We do not have a client,
but at least there is the family.

Ben, bring me a RIB,
an ID

and your prod box is mounted.
- Here. Exactly.

It's exactly that.

But wait. Please.
Excuse me.

Please, Martine,
Hervé, Georges, Sandrine, Sandra,

how nice,
but I am in my own name

and I'm fine like that.
I'll put it up in a year.

What are you doing with us?

We are in family.
No modesty with us.

It's also for Vanessa,
not only for you.

It's not when you have children
that you will build your box.

It must be done before the first.

Ask Raymond.

If you want to take the girl
in Deauville this weekend,

my Jag, she's yours.

I will not bring anyone
in Deauville this weekend

because I have a wedding.
- Listen.

Stop, Raymond, with this car.
You scare him.

That's wrong, Ben?

Ben!

Well ...

My little Ben ...

Benuche ...

Armand ...

What a horrible nightmare.

Hush, hush, hush.
The. Here.

It's finish.

We are back
in this good restaurant of Vanessa,

in family.

Huh?

It's okay, Ben. It will be fine.

We will go get you
a going back.

He needs sugar.

Cake.

- It's good. Cake.
- Let him breathe.

Go get some sugar too.

- What did you say to Vanessa?
- Nothing.

I distilled an atmosphere of mystery
around my person.

In the street, just now,
I was affable, funny.

Well, there, brick by brick,

I build the wall of contempt.

It is very good.
You did not say anything, you have to say nothing.

For the moment, Ben.

It's better ?
Drink this. It's calcibronate.

He is sensitive, huh.

I am Vanessa's aunt.
Are you a friend of Ben?

Nice to meet you.

Armand. It's me who takes care of me
of the organization of the marriage.

"Marriage" ?
They do not go a little fast?

They go way too fast.

- Come. I am going to smoke.
- I do not smoke, me.

You accompany me. You come in poto.

Go yourself. I stay here.

Come.

OK, OK. I come.

Nicotine,
it does not make you very friendly.

Yes but no. Give it ... to him.

You can not stay.
You have to go.

Why ? It's very nice.

The atmosphere is welcoming,
warm, altruistic.

- And there are mini-pizzas.
- We do not care. Listen to me.

Hey ! Oh ! Ben-Hur,
why can not I stay here?

Because Magalie, Armand.

Yes.

We're talking about Magalie,

the sun of your heart,
your reason for living

It's her, your muse.

Even I love it.
I'm like an idiot in front of her.

- Ah yes ?
- Well, right now!

You have never seen her.
She was in prison from 2006 to 2008,

and after, she redid 2 years
for robbery. So...

That's not what I tell you.

Magalie, it's in your eyes
that I saw it.

In your eyes, I see her, there,
now,

in your paintings,
in your tears, this afternoon.

She's here, in you ...

She is ... like a perfume,

a perfume, of which, I think,
you must never wash yourself.

Oh fuck.

You know, Ben,

you opened my eyes.

You're right. I go.
I'm wasting my time here.

I'm going to kiss,
by correction ...

No, Armand.

No.

Whore. You are strong.

I tried to smoke you,
with the kiss.

I did not understand,
but it's clear.

If it's so clear,
we must leave now.

You will thank me.

Go.

Hi, prophet.

- It's okay ? You feel better ?
- Yes.

OK. Good. Come.
We'll put your film here.

Its good. I go.
I know him, the movie.

Yes, but I want a speech.

I do not feel comfortable,
with that kind of stuff.

Please.

Vanessa,

we have known each other forever,

since the sixth, in any case,
where you were a serious student,

worker,

Latinist, even.
No. It was me who had taken Latin.

- Tell him you love him, Ben.
- George ...

Vanessa, I have always loved you,

Since the day
where I saw you for the first time,

as soon as my eyes came
on you.

So when you left,

you were like a melody.

It sucks,
what I say, but it's true.

I never...

I never...

stopped thinking about you.

But what I am going to say is going to ...

to shake a lot of people,

but...

Juliet ...

It's the speech
of marriage with another name?

My dad told me you were there.

I'm bothering you, there.

He had already made his request.

We had to get married in a week.

But I leave it to you ...

in family. You let go of me!

- What did you do, Ben?
- I tried...

Go away.

Emerges.

He is there, the lucky one?
This is the big jump, there.

Finger ring, mounted piece,
I'll take you to your princess ...

You present me your mother-in-law.
"Hello, Madam Sylvain."

Cocktail...

What is this mess ?

We'll be late here.
Little Jesus will not wait.

Come on, hop. The pants
to the James Bond and we go.

- Oh !
- There is no more marriage.

"More marriage"?
It was not today?

- I noted it on my Palm.
- There is no more marriage.

I would not be here.
I'll be in Biarritz.

"Biarritz"?

There is a cat who died, right?

- A cat ?
- Yes.

Sylvain, Juliette and Vanessa
crossed each other.

- No.
- It's finish.

Shit !

Ah yes. Okay.

How will I do,
for my surprise, me?

What a surprise ?

- Come on. A little tour.
- No thanks, Sylvain.

I prefer to stay alone.

Poor Ben.

You had a woman all mimi.
She left you.

I will not cry in the street.

In addition, I'm on a delivery.

Hey ! Ben!

It's not my place to cry,
it's yours.

Come on, come on. Come.

I will take care of you.
I will not let you down.

There, you let yourself go.

Come on, wood.

Wood, my poto.

Here. That's good.

Hey ! You saw ?

Nakatomi Plaza. Crystal trap.
Copy.

You are John McClane,
and me, your driver:

Argyle.

With the other motherfucker
from Hans Gruber, too.

Come on, my chicken.
Let's celebrate your misery.

There is a squirrel.

Not bad.

You turn a little bit ...

- Hey ! Get out there!
- Go! Standing !

You do me more ... Come here.

It's not possible !

He's eating a little?

No. All that is pasta,
starchy, it does not take anymore.

It absorbs only the liquid.

That's why I mix everything.
Sometimes he spits out.

I took him a big bib.

The porridge, he likes. That, he keeps.

I think he's better,
but there is still work.

Stop with that. It's not true !

Therapy has its limits.

Me, it does not surprise me.
Normal that Juliet is gone.

He never did one.

I wonder how
she stayed that long.

He does not assume anything.

He did not take care of the marriage.
He was invited.

The type not reliable.

Sure, it's not Belmondo.

You would see his toenails,
the length....

How he enters
in his pumps?

- What are you going to do ?
- Take a secateur.

Not for the nails, for him.

I called all the institutes
for guys like that,

that society wants more,
they do not want it,

he is not clean.

- I do not throw stones at them.
- And abandonment?

That, I can not.
It's not possible. I am keeping it.

You know, I inquired
on the aids,

when you do house guards,

for the diminished,
those who let themselves go,

who smell bad.

You earn 500 euros a month.

Not bad.

Fortunately he is in France.
It would have been in Germany,

it was not the same.

It's always taken.

You see, finally,

he did not bury his boy life,
but by re-crossing Vanessa,

he buried his boyish vice.

Yes. That is true. That is true.

Thinking about the formula,
I said to myself

that this was what determined
the state of the guy at the moment T.

That is true.

- Do not go too far, Ben.
- Leave him.

- "Leave him ..." You are funny.
- What?

You do not know
what he is capable of

You do not know
what's in his head.

You still have not told me,
for Porticcio.

We'll be fine, you know.
The little house, the beach, Vinitt?

What is "Vinitt"?

I do not know how to say.

This is my housekeeper.
He practically raised me.

He makes croque-monsieur ...
To die for.

One day,
I will write a book about him.

A mixture of anecdotes.

I do not know why,
I would love.

Go. Champion.

- We'll go on Dad's boat.
- Why are you there?

- Just something.
- I work, there, Ben.

I changed the music,
to put a little potato.

That's good, Ben.

Everyone understood
that you were trying to grow, but ...

I do not care.

What do you want ?

I do not want to see you anymore.

OK. You do not want to see me anymore.

In fact, I disagree.

There, I do not agree.

For once,
I will say what I want.

What I do not want, first.

I do not want to get married in Biarritz,
because I know nobody there.

I do not want to get married
with viking sauce,

because it's stupid.

I do not want you to do everything

and find myself in the position
the guy who will do less good than you.

I do not want
that you forgive me everything.

And stop treating me
like a kid.

I do not want. I want more.

You could not tell me?
You had to leave with this girl?

But I left with no one.

This girl, Vanessa Bestel,

it was my fantasy
college and high school.

She never looked at me.
She came back to Paris,

she knows that me,
so I say to myself ...

I say nothing to myself.
I'm here, like an idiot,

to want to take revenge
on my past all nil,

to let me guide
by a desire that I do not even have,

because I leave
always guide everyone,

by your father, by you,

by him.

Today,
what I want, I say it.

Today,
what I want, I know it.

I want to be with you.

- Listen ...
- You shut your mouth.

- You break in the bottom and close it.
- It's okay.

It's okay.

So, what are you saying,
Juliet?

How are you?

It's okay with me.

You could applaud here.
What do you need ?

OK.

Portable, keychain,

wallet.

Notebook, key ring, wallet.

- So what ?
- What?

- I'm beautiful, already?
- Yes. Let's go.

No no no.
You did not say it well.

- You are very beautiful.
- You're not disgusting either.

- She's there. I can not.
- Stay with me. Do not worry.

I deposited Sylvain's gift.
I rush. I have 35 seats.

- It's okay ?
- Yes.

Vanessa, this is Juliet.

Juliette, Vanessa.

Hello.

Hello.

It's embarrassing here.

Yes.

- Vanessa, are we going?
- Yes. I arrive.

Good.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Goodbye.

If you turn around, I'll fuck you.

I put this valve,
at the end of the speech?

I dunno. It's you, the witness.
Sort this out yourself.

OK. Okay. Jealous to the end.

Wow!

You are pretty.

It's crazy love

- It's okay ?
- Congratulations.

- Welcome.
- You are beautiful.

Really.
That is true. You are very beautiful.

Thank you.

It's not a killer, the guy?

- Him ?
- Yeah, him.

We sing gospel together.

You would see him sing "Jesus" ...

He sends, damn.

- It's too good, right?
- It's lovely.

We were almost on the run.
He punched my ass.

Do not say that
the day of your wedding.

It's a savage.
He fucked me like a pig.

- You disgust me.
- I tell you that I am in love.

We have a glass bottom boat
who arrived.

- Where were you?
- Behind you. Always.

Monique. Director of a hotel
in Mauritius.

- Hello.
- We'll do our honeymoon.

- Him, like the little onions.
- Are you getting married?

- Not immediately.
- He thinks.

- You will be welcome.
- Thank you very much. How nice.

Can I steal it for a second?

Thank you.

What is happening ?

Sylvain ...

- Yes ?
- I have to tell you something.

I have never been to Qatar
to look for oil,

I never had a flight to Singapore,
nor have my mother amputated.

- My dog never ...
- I know, chicken.

It does not matter.

As long as you're here ...

Viewing.

Enjoy.

Juliette ... Excuse me.
Your father starts a fight there.

Ben!

You are badly barred.

- Your glasses, you're going to eat them.
- Dad !

What?

He does not want to give me my skewers.
Are we at a wedding here or what?

Where were you first?

You must not leave me alone.
I am fragile.

What is happening ?

- Did not you tell him, for Magalie?
- No. It's anything.

- So, I did not tell him.
- What, "for Magalie"?

Well, she's dead.

- She is dead ?
- Yes.

She is dead ?

What happened ?

The robbery too much. Here.

In fact, the RAID had put it
wiretapped 3 months ago.

She was shot
by more than 53 cops.

At her funeral, the poor,
it was risotto.

I told him so, damn it.

"Stop.
Calm down. Drop the weapons. "

No. Nothing to do.
She did not want to hear anything.

This is where we see that ...

Magalie ...

he was a good man.

Whore.

I'm sorry, Armand.
I did not know.

You laugh ? It's awesome !

I'm free. I live again.

I met someone.

- Dad, it's good.
- What?

Oh dear !
We can not say anything anymore!

At the same time,
I do not have the right to say it.

Oh?

Good. I will tell you anyways.

It's Maurane. The singer.

- "Maurane"?
- Maurane. The singer.

Love at first sight
at the Zenith of Montpellier.

I was 1st,
she comes on stage,

she sings bullshit,
I do not know what,

She's looking at me,

and there,
she forgets all the words.

- Looking at you?
- Looking at me.

Since, we are at the Sofitel,
like fugitives.

Me and Maurane.

- So, are you with Maurane?
- I'm with Maurane.

I enter the showbiz.

- Do you like it, huh?
- Yes. A little.

- I'll get your skewers.
- Please.

Ladies and gentlemen,
a little attention.

I would like to start
thank you Charlie and his band.

Sorry. Excuse me.
It's Charlie and the band.

Exactly. Corrected error.

Now that we have put it well
in the cornet, which we picoled ...

Is not it, Catherine?

We will prepare the summer, we will come
lose calories on the track.

Place to love and tenderness.

By the way ...

DJ, here we go.

What are you doing sitting there,
to watch it?

- Go invite him to dance!
- Yes, but she is too beautiful.

Yes...

but you have to do that now,
not in 10 years.

But what if she says no?

At least you will have tried.

Subtitling: Eclair Media