Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

(tense music)

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

- [Bagman] Ooh!

- I'm sorry!

I'll use paper next time.

You don't have to do this.

(man screaming)

(Bagman grunting)

- [Bagman] Plastic, damn it!

(Bagman panting)

(insects chirping)

(Bagman panting)

Fucking ball sacks!

(upbeat rock music)

Am I fucking hearing things?

I guess not.

- Are you sure we should do this here in the field?

- It's fine, nobody'll find us out here.

Besides, it's not Friday the 13th.

- It's not making me feel any better.

- I'm kidding, Mary.

- No, you're not, you just wanna get laid.

- Yeah, I do.

- Stop, don't give me that face.

♪ It's killing time

- I love you.

- I love you too, Tom.

(Bagman sighs)

- [Bagman] Oh, what the hell.

I'll leave these two lovebirds be.

- [Mary] Did ya bring one?

- [Tom] Of course, I did.

♪ You take me down below the streets ♪

♪ Another time

♪ Beneath the sheets

♪ Come out and play

♪ Closing scenes

- [Bagman] No fucking way!

♪ I'm in too deep

♪ Horsing around

- I've never used one before.

(Mary screaming) Mary!

Oh fuck, oh fuck, no!

Fuck, no!

- [Bagman] And you never will!

- What the fuck!

(Tom grumbling)

(Tom gagging)

- [Bagman] Hi!

(Mary screaming)

Ugh, bitches be trippin'.

Yay!

(Mary panting)

Paper or plastic?

- Please don't kill me!

- [Bagman] Paper or plastic, damn it!

- Plastic! - [Bagman] Plastic! [grunts]

(tense music) (insects chirping)

(Aden coughing)

- Easy, easy.

- Fuck man, that's stronger than last week's.

- I know, special ingredient, dog feces.

- What?

- I'm just buggin' with you, man.

It's not really dog shit, come on.

- Oh.

- New dealer, actually, um, what was his name?

Walsh, can you believe that, Walsh?

What kinda name is that?

- You weren't watching Within Circles again, were you?

- No.

Good movie, though.

That Sid something, really good actor.

- [Aden] Man, people can't recycle shit out here, assholes.

- It really is sad, man.

You know, I saw this documentary, um,

plastic takes like 100 or a million, something like that,

years to break down, crazy.

- Exactly, like, fuckin' people don't care anymore.

- Do you even work here, Aden?

- Yes, Pelly, I do.

- Then get to work.

- Okay, I will.

(Pelly groans)

- Yo, Pelly is smokin'.

You hittin' that?

- She's my sister.

- She is?

- Yup.

- Oh, sorry man, I, uh, that's on me.

- Aw, I'm just fuckin' with you, man.

Although, we do slip it in here and there.

You know?

- You're a dirty motherfucker.

- Yeah, I'll see ya later, Tyke.

- Peace.

(sullen music)

- How was work last night?

- All right, I guess.

- Look Aden, we need to talk about your father's death.

You didn't grieve or anything.

- Dad wasn't the greatest father.

He got what he deserved.

- Nobody deserves to die.

- Damn plastic bags killed the guy.

I miss him so much, Mom.

- [Naya] I miss him too, son.

- [Aden] Even though he cheated on you countless times?

- [Naya] I'll always love your father.

- I'm sorry.

- What for?

- [Aden] For crying.

- It's okay to cry.

Just 'cause you're a boy doesn't mean you can't cry.

Now, go out and have some fun, okay?

- I will.

(runner panting)

(heavy rock music)

(runner laughing)

(runner groans)

(eerie music)

Oh, I'm gonna tie ya up so good.

Like that girl last night, oh baby.

She was a rough ride.

- What's goin' on?

- [Aden] Shut your cum-dripping mouth.

Yeah.

You know what recycling is, you fucking cocksucker?

- Please, what are you doing?

Wait, what's goin' on here, what?

- [Aden] You should've recycled, you jackass.

- What is, I don't, who are you?

Why am I tied up?

- [Aden] Can't recycle the bottle?

- Uh, what, no.

- [Aden] All right, take it, take it like a dick.

Take it like a dick, big black dick.

Yeah, should've recycled, you jackass.

(runner mumbling)

Oh, she's gone.

Oh, oh my god, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry about this.

Uh, where's the bottle, where's the bottle?

Oh yeah, there we go.

Take it like a dick, yeah, suck on it, suck on it good.

Yeah!

Yeah, oh!

Ah.

(tense music)

(Aden sighs)

Close!

Good boy.

Junk and recycle or die.

Bye!

[peaceful music]

- [Dad] Aden, my son,

I know I haven't been the greatest father to you.

I've done a lot of bad things in my life, and you, my son,

were one of the best things that ever happened to me.

I tried to change my ways

but just kept going back to the same old ways.

If I'm dead, don't worry, son.

I've gone to a better place.

Aden, remind yourself of this.

What makes you feel happy?

Do something, change the world,

and be better than what I had become.

I was also at some whore's house when I wrote this.

Anyway, tell your mother that I love her.

Such a great ass on her.

Find a girl with a great ass and cherish it forever

'cause I never did.

Love, Dad.

P.S. Hand job time.

(eerie music)

- [Aden] My pussy is ready.

(cat yowls)

Come here, kitty, kitty.

God, I love pussy.

(tense music)

Ooh, nice selection.

Ooh!

Oh my god!

Hi, my name's Bagman, what's yours?

Bean!

What the fuckin' cocks?

Oh, nothing in here.

Fuckin' doors don't even open.

No dildos in here.

Ah.

Oh baby.

(suspenseful music)

No!

No, motherfucking cocksuckers!

Huh?

(tense music)

Oh, oh, what the shit?

Oh, shit balls.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Oh.

Oh, my fuck me and call me Sally,

this isn't gonna work, fuck.

Oh shit!

(Aden whimpers)

(muffled screaming)

What the steam and stiff setting?

(woman whimpering)

(Aden sighs)

Ball sacks.

Seriously, lady, a fucking banana?

(Aden sighs)

Okay, bye.

Where's my hammer?

There it is.

Yay!

- What are you doing?

- Putting bottles in the recycling.

- I told you to take the garbage out.

- Yeah, but there were damn bottles in the garbage.

- Good for you, Aden.

Most people would've just tied up the bag

and thrown it in the trash.

- Yeah, you're right.

- So, any sexy ladies you goin' out with?

- Uh, not at the moment.

- Come on, get out there and have some fun.

- You sound like my mom.

- Well, maybe your mom is right.

- Maybe she is.

- Don't worry, you'll find the right one.

One day.

- Hey, it's your boyfriend.

- [Pelly] He's not my boyfriend.

- What?

- What's up, Aden?

- [Aden] Not a whole lot.

- [Tyke] Hey, Pelly.

- Hi, Tyke.

- Oh my god, the chemistry between you guys is like,

you guys are meant to have a baby together.

(Pelly sighs) - Geez, Aden.

Come on, man.

- It's either that or some spongy ass sex!

- Jesus!

- Really, Aden?

- Yes, really, Pelly.

Jesus, what the shit?

- I don't know, man.

- Holy shit!

- [Pelly And Tyke] What?

- Nothin'.

- Weirdo.

Anyway, you wanna smoke this?

- Yeah!

- All right.

You in?

- (sighs) Sure.

- All right.

Here, you can go first.

(cheerful music)

Hey, remember that time you threw apples in the urinal?

- Yeah, that was silly of me.

(Aden laughing)

- Hey, you guys remember

that guy that jerked off during class?

- Uh, nope.

- Weren't you like a grade below us?

- Oh yeah, right.

- Yeah, but we did do a lotta stupid shit in school.

- Yeah, a lotta dumb shit, for sure.

I remember this one teacher, she was so hot.

Oh man, I had dreams about her. (chuckles)

- Hopefully not wet dreams.

- Well, I wouldn't have it any other way.

- Ew.

Anyway, I gotta go.

(Tyke groans)

- [Pelly] What?

- Work.

- Hm, sure you gotta go?

- Yeah, sorry Pelly.

Um, anyway, there's a party happening tomorrow night.

You guys should both come, especially you, Aden.

- I'll be there.

- Yeah, I'll text you guys the address.

- I don't actually think I got your number.

- Really?

Thought you had it already.

- No.

Here.

- Okay, thanks.

- So, when's the wedding?

- That has to be put on hold for the time being.

- What?

- I'll see you guys tomorrow, yeah?

- [Aden] Abso-freakin-lutely.

- I'll be there.

- [Tyke] Peace, niggers.

- I'll be there.

- Shut up.

- Ow.

(upbeat techno music)

- Hey, Aden.

- It's been a while, Jenley.

- It has been a while.

How's things with you?

- I'm doing fantastic.

How's university?

- It's good.

- Weren't you taking some environmental classes?

- Yeah, renewable energy, solar panels, all that good stuff.

- That's so great to hear.

- You know what'd be even better?

- What?

- You inside me.

- Awesome!

- Uh, uh, thanks Pelly.

- Uh, you're welcome Jenley.

- [Jenley] Bye, Aden.

- Bye, Jenley.

♪ Get on up

♪ Get on up this time

♪ Get on up

♪ Get on up this time

♪ Get on up

♪ Get on up this time

♪ Get on up

♪ Get on up

(man sighs)

♪ Rain to your eyes

♪ Get up off of my dick, see

- [Man] Fuck!

♪ Booty with the bunk in the trunk ♪

♪ It's your birthday

♪ Praise the funk like it used to be ♪

- Where's my goddamn wrench?

♪ Tear the roof off the sucka

♪ Tear the roof off the sucka

♪ Bring it home to your mother

♪ Bring it home to your mother

♪ Get on up and I feel good

- What the fuck?

♪ I got a brand new

(man groans)

♪ Makes me feel better about sex machine ♪

♪ I'm singin' this funk so clarified ♪

♪ So bonafide

♪ Bring rain to your eyes

♪ Call me up and this fucking slime ♪

♪ And be my mind that you come this time ♪

- Hey, who's there?

♪ Be my mind that you come this time ♪

♪ Cover me up in your funky slime, baby ♪

♪ I'll let ya come this time

♪ Get on up

♪ Get on up this time

♪ Get on up

♪ Get on up this time

♪ Get on up

♪ Get on up this time

♪ Get on up

- There you are.

♪ Get on up

♪ Get up on the country

♪ Gotta put it in

♪ Rain to your eyes

♪ Get up on the country

♪ This time

♪ Get up on the country

- [Man] Goddamn it!

♪ Everybody knows

♪ Get up on the country

- Who the hell's out there?

♪ It's 75 in funky shoes

♪ And smokin' green

♪ You know what I mean

♪ I run it

[Bagman grunts]

♪ This side

♪ The broke down trunk and them chunky thighs ♪

♪ East coast (Aden sighs)

(man groaning) (tense music)

- You little bitch!

- [Aden] Yes, yes I'm a little bitch.

You kiss your father with that potty mouth?

- You slap like a bitch too!

- [Aden] I'm not a bitch!

Plastic, damn it!

- Not bad.

You gonna kill me or what?

What the hell do they call you?

Paper bag bitch?

- [Aden] It's Bagman, you old sack of shit.

I'm so famous, Lois Lane loves my cock.

Do you have any idea what recycling is?

- You got me tied up to a chair

because I didn't recycle?

(man laughing)

I'm too lazy for that shit.

- [Aden] Well, fuck!

The fun way

or the funner way?

- You ain't got a quicker way, like a gun?

Or a knife?

- [Aden] Does it look like I carry a gun or a knife?

Ah!

- Just do it already.

I ain't got all day.

My wife and my kids hate me.

- [Aden] I hope you're thirsty.

Open wide, it's Teco time.

Shit!

I'm late.

- You got no watch, dumb ass.

- [Aden] Shut your dick-lickin' trap!

- Good choice.

- [Aden] Yeah, it is, you dumb fuck.

- Come at me, paper bitch head.

- [Aden] You plastic whore!

[man groans]

(upbeat music)

♪ I, I got plastic love for you, uh ♪

- [Woman] Hey!

- Freaking kids.

♪ I got plastic love for you

(man laughing)

♪ I, I got plastic love for you ♪

♪ Uh

♪ I got plastic love for you

- Do you guys know where Pelly and Tyke are?

- Who's Pelly and Tyke?

- Uh, my friends.

- Weird fuckin' name for friends.

- I don't know. - Yeah, it is pretty weird.

I blame that fucking writer.

- What?

(partiers chattering)

- Gross.

- Fuck that guy.

- [Aden] Hey, are you okay?

- Yeah, just a little bit tipsy.

- Do you know Tyke and Pelly.

- Uh, I think they went upstairs.

- They couldn't hold it in their pants, could they?

- So, wanna suck some ass?

- Uh, yours or my ass?

- Your ass.

- Uh, maybe later.

- Um.

- I don't know. - All right, fine.

Bye.

(partiers chattering)

♪ 808 base and a 101

- [Woman With Red Hair] Hey, sexy.

- Hi.

- [Woman With Red Hair] Wanna suck my ass?

- Yeah, why the hell not?

- [Woman With Red Hair] Fuck, yeah!

(blonde man laughing)

- I heard about this guy, like, he, they call him,

like he puts a bag on his head.

- Oh yeah, Taco Man.

- [Blonde Man] Taco Man!

- Yeah. - Yeah, but he's weird,

like Taco Man, like he started killing people

'cause they don't recycle.

- Aw, it's lame, man.

- [Blonde Man] I know, right?

- Yeah, you know, you should probably start recycling.

You can get five cents back

on all those juice boxes you keep drinkin', you know?

- Dude, I could buy so much weed.

- So much weed.

- Fuck! - Yeah!

- You know, you know, like, it's not like he's real,

but that it is, that is a motivator.

- That is a motivator, yep.

- I mean, we just.

- Yeah.

Yeah, for the juices, for the green.

- For the people.

- For the peace of green.

- For the children. - For the children.

- For the children.

- You know, I got a really good idea.

I got this joint in my pocket right now, you know?

We should go upstairs, smoke it, talk about the universe,

all that good shit.

You with me, you feel me?

- I would love that.

- Ah, hell yeah, man.

- That's too much, man. - Let's go smoke it.

- Let's do that. - Yeah, I love ya.

♪ I, I got plastic love for you ♪

(man laughing)

♪ 707 and 909

♪ 808 base and a 101

- Hey!

Nice ass!

- Why, thank you.

- I know, I love the fact

that I get to play a detective that jangles, mm-hmm.

Oh girl, that is so fucking hot!

My porn career is gonna take off so great.

♪ And a 101

- See ya later. (laughs)

- What the fuck?

(partiers laughing and chattering)

(peaceful music)

♪ All night long

- Oh, this sucks.

- [Jenley] It doesn't have to.

- Where have you been all my life?

- Waiting.

- Damn, those are some corny ass--

- Lines?

♪ I can wait for you

- Didn't you come with someone?

- Uh, uh, Erica.

- Oh, Erica, haven't seen her in a while.

- She's probably dropping her pants

for a guy right about now.

(Aden laughs)

- Geez.

♪ I'll shed no tears

- Hey, whatever happened to us?

- Damn, Aden, straight to the point.

- Sorry.

♪ Oh oh oh oh

- I don't know.

I guess we just kinda drifted apart after high school.

- Yeah, that happens, I guess.

People just move on with their lives.

I'm just trying to figure what the hell do with mine.

- Yeah, that's the problem with kids these days.

They have no idea what they wanna do

when they get out of high school anymore.

(Aden laughs) - Exactly, right?

♪ Oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh

- Come back, I want more ass!

- You've had enough!

- But that ass though?

- Can only take so much!

God, no!

(man groans)

What a bitch!

- Where do you think that cup'll end up?

- Probably in the garbage.

Well, they're all just a bunch of ass bags anyways.

(Aden chuckles)

- Have I ever told you I love the way you talk about people?

- Have I ever told you how much I love

when you go blank whenever you look at me?

- Sorry, but your beauty shocked me.

- Oh, did it now?

- Yeah, yeah it did.

- Well, your hotness shocked me.

- No way, your hotness shocked me.

- No way.

- Yes way.

- It stunned me.

- Stunning, yeah, yes, you are.

- No way, huh.

- Oh, is it me or is it, is it hard in here?

- Hot, not hard.

(both chuckling)

- So, this is when you take your clothes off.

- No.

- What?

I thought it was.

- No. [Aden chuckles]

♪ Oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh

- I forgot how nice your lips are.

- I forgot how nice yours are too.

- Is this an in?

- Obviously.

- Probably.

♪ Oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh

♪ Ah

(tense music)

(laughs)

- It's a shame, I do give a shit.

(laughing)

(belt buckle clanking)

Bunch of fuckin' idiots.

(groaning)

Fuck.

(man groaning)

I'm freaking out.

- [Aden] Enjoy your juice box and your ganja.

- Bye bye.

- This is weird, right?

- I don't even know anymore, man.

(blonde man groaning)

(blonde man coughing)

(dramatic music)

- [Man] Help!

Help! - Just give me a sec.

- [Man] Fuck!

- [Aden] Let me brush your teeth.

- [Man] It tastes like shit!

- [Aden] Good.

Uh, are, are you okay?

- No!

(man sobbing)

- [Aden] Here's a tissue.

- Could you please not kill me?

I'm still, still a virgin.

- [Aden] Same!

- We should, we should hang out.

- [Aden] Uh, no, sorry!

(man gagging)

Good boy.

Well, that was fun.

(tense music)

- Where'd you go?

- The bathroom.

(gentle music)

(Jenley gasps)

(tense music)

- You're, uh, not gonna throw these in the garbage, are you?

- Of course not, we're gonna recycle 'em.

- About last night.

- What about it?

- It was fun.

- Yeah, it was fun.

- [Jenley] Paper Bagman.

- What?

- [Jenley] Plastic in!

(Aden gasps)

- Damn nightmares.

(birds chirping)

- [Naya] Hey, how was the party last night?

- Awesome.

Jenley was there.

- You guys didn't, mm?

- Bang?

No, we're not like those professional curlers

that stay hard and last lame.

- Well, the last time you were on the couch,

you guys were gettin' pretty touchy.

- Yeah, it was pretty touchy.

- Aden, we need to talk about something.

- What's this about?

It better not be the drawing I did

of a girl's boobies and a guy's ding dong.

- Uh, I found this.

Die plastic, die, you killed my daddy.

- That's a good piece of art.

I was thinking of selling that one.

- Your drawings are very creative.

Aden, you still need to deal with your father's death.

- Mom, I'm fine, I'm not going crazy or anything.

- I'm concerned about you.

- Where is Dad's killer, Mom?

- I don't know.

All I know is that this was meant to be.

- Yeah, meant to be, my ass.

(tense music)

(woman screams)

Hi! - Shit!

No!

No, no, no.

(woman gasps)

- [Aden] Can you cut that out?

- Oh, oh god.

- [Aden] We're gonna have some foreplay.

- Oh, oh, oh god, no.

No!

(woman screaming)

Why are you doing this?

- [Aden] You should have recycled.

- What, recycling?

- [Aden] Do you realize how many animals die each year

from the use of plastic?

- I'm assuming quite a few.

- [Aden] Right.

- I have a family, they need me.

- [Aden] Sometimes, sometimes,

the only time people will change

is when they're in a life or death situation.

(woman gagging)

- Need me.

- [Aden] You have a family?

- Yes.

- [Aden] Aw shit, I'm so sorry about this.

(woman panting)

I'm just kidding!

(woman whimpering)

Yay!

(Aden sighs)

How are you doing?

Oh, I'm really dead.

How are you doing?

I'm doing fantastic, thanks for asking.

Shaquisha, what kinda white cracker's name is Shaquisha?

Just kidding, her name was Biggette.

Hey, there's the keys.

(Aden panting)

(car beeping)

Ooh.

Automatic windows, geez.

Let's get some tunes up in this bitch.

(heavy rock music)

Mm, yeah, it's my favorite song.

Yeah!

- [Aden] That shit sick threw off my groove.

Oh well.

- [Man] I reported this shit!

- [Aden] Ooh.

- [Jenley] Hey Aden, wanna hang out tonight?

(lips smacking)

- [Aden] My dick'll be hanging in you.

(musician screaming)

Meet at my place for sexy time,

monkey, far, shit emojis.

- [Jenley] Oh my fucking god, see you then. (laughs)

- [Aden] Smile emoji, bomb emoji.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Gotta go, honey, bye.

See ya later.

In hell, bitch!

(musician screaming)

- [Naya] Hi, Jenley.

- [Jenley] Hi, Miss Papes, is Aden home?

- No, but you're welcome to come in.

- Oh, thanks.

- You know, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.

I heard what happened.

- Oh, it's okay, you know, life goes on.

So, where's Mr. Papes.

- He's dead.

- What?

How?

- Come.

Well, it was about a week after your mother died.

Whilst your mother made the second page of the paper,

Martin made the 28th page of the paper, and it read,

bum kills himself with plastic bags.

- I'm so sorry to hear that.

- It's okay, it's like you said, life goes on.

You know, Aden wanted to come see you

when your mother passed.

I don't know why he didn't.

- He probably had his reasons.

- How are my beautiful ladies doing?

- You're in a good mood.

- I've never felt so alive.

- Are you high on cocaine?

- More like life, Mom.

- Where were you?

- I was with this fine ass girl.

We did some dancing and blow.

(Naya groans) (tense music)

- Nice.

I was with this sexy guy, and he did dirty things to me.

- Oh, is that so?

- Okay, guys, hang on.

Not in here.

(Jenley laughs)

And I still sit on that couch, so not there either.

- Geez Mom, go watch Murdoch Mysteries or something.

- You know what, maybe I will.

You know what, I'm gonna double click my mouse

and watch Murdoch, he's so cute.

You can have that couch.

- Okay.

Murdoch is good looking though.

- Okay, what's Murdoch Mysteries?

- Some Canadian show about a detective.

- Well, maybe he can solve crimes

we're gonna commit tonight.

- Oh my, George Takei.

- Hey, let's go to that spot we went to as kids.

- Okay.

Do I slap your ass or do you slap mine.

- [Jenley] I'd like my ass to be slapped.

- Oh really?

So, what position do you wanna do?

- Anal.

- Oh my god.

(Jenley laughs) (Aden laughs)

(haunting music)

- Here you go.

- Thanks.

- Mm.

I'm sorry I didn't see you when your mom died.

- It's okay, you're here now.

I'm sorry about your dad, Aden.

- Me too.

I still can't believe it was ruled a suicide.

- Do you really believe he killed himself?

- No.

But I did get a letter that said his goodbyes,

but I also feel like the police

didn't quite do their jobs either.

- Why didn't you give the police the note?

- I think they could care less about a guy they call a bum.

(Jenley chuckles)

- True.

Don't you think it's strange

how one of our parents died a week a part?

- Yeah, it is a bit odd.

Anyways, if you could be a superhero, who would you be?

- (laughs) Smooth on changing the subject.

Probably Wonder Woman.

- Wonder Woman?

- Yeah, she's strong, intelligent, and beautiful.

- Does Wonder Woman wonder about other women?

- I don't know.

She could though.

What about you?

- Deadpool, for sure.

- Deadpool?

You like talking shit and breaking the fourth wall?

- Abso-fuckin-lutely.

(both chuckle) (tense music)

Oh, you boobalicious honey buns.

- You sugarlicious wonder buns.

- [Bara] Jenley!

Where were you last night?

- I was out late plundering the monkey.

- [Bara] Stop being so sarcastic.

- Stop being my fake mom.

- Jenley, I try to treat you like your my own daughter.

- [Jenley] You treat me like a caged up animal.

I'm mature enough to do whatever I want.

- You know, you can be a darn right bitch sometimes.

- [Jenley] Wow, Bara, glad to know

you think of me as a lady dog.

- Jenley, I'm sorry, wait.

Can I make it up to you?

- Yeah, you make it up to me by getting out of my damn life.

- [Lank] I'm sorry, Staven, I'm sorry.

(tense music)

(Lank groaning)

- I trusted you, Lank.

I would have gave you anything!

- It's just money, I can make it back for you, Staven!

- It's not about the money, it's not!

It's about loyalty!

- You don't have to do this, I'm still loyal to you.

No!

No!

Don't do this!

Staven, you don't have to!

(Lank groaning)

(Staven panting)

- Fuck.

Get rid of this.

- Yup.

I'll take care of it.

- Make sure.

(Dangler sighs)

(Dangler grunts)

(Dangler grunting)

- [Dangler] Stupid fuck.

(tense music)

- Go away, Bara.

Oh, hey, Erica.

- Did ya forget about helping me with that geothermal paper?

- Oh, no, sorry Erica, I just had a lot on my plate.

- So.

You and Aden, huh?

- Yeah.

(Aden panting)

- Don't you find Aden kinda weird?

- He's my kinda weird.

(Aden panting) (Dangler groaning)

He's spontaneous.

- [Dangler] Who are you?

- He's funny and he's pretty hot too.

- [Dangler] Get the fuck away from me!

(Dangler whimpering)

- I don't know, Jenley,

I just have a feeling that he's hiding something.

- Maybe he is, but I kinda like a guy with a mystery.

(Aden panting) (Dangler screams)

(Dangler whimpering)

- [Aden] I just wanted to play tag.

- So, you hook up with that guy at the party?

- Turns out, I'm the first girl he's been with

and he prefers men over women.

- Really?

- No.

But I am interested in girls.

- You're interested in girls?

- Yeah.

(Dangler yelling)

- Well, who are you interested in?

God, please tell me it's not me.

- It's always been you, Jenley.

- Fuck me, Erica, figuratively.

Not literally.

(Dangler whimpering)

(Dangler groaning)

- [Aden] It's so beautiful.

- That was interesting.

- Yeah, it was.

(Dangler groaning)

I think I prefer dick more.

- Me too.

Let's get back to work.

- Yeah.

(Dangler screaming) (Aden grunting)

(Dangler groaning)

(Dangler screams) - Hi!

(Dangler grumbling)

- She had me tied like this to deliver a package.

- [Aden] No, but your Detective Dangler, right?

- No, no, no, Dangler's my stripper name.

- [Aden] Oh, fuck me in the ass.

You recycle plastic?

- Um, uh, don't, not really, sometimes.

- [Aden] Oh, Dangler.

- I kinda like you, your mask is kinda cute, you know?

- [Aden] Why, thank you, sweet thing.

- So, uh, think ya, see, um,

you untie me here,

and I'll you do whatever you want to my body.

- [Aden] Oh, we'll do something all right, baby.

- I totally see us bonding

and having some good fun together.

(Dangler chuckles)

- [Aden] Oh, we will.

(Dangler screaming)

See ya in the spirit world, bitch.

(birds chirping)

Oh man, I kinda liked the guy.

- Hi, Dad.

Hello?

- My darlin' wife.

- Hi.

I'm good.

- What the fuck, Dad?

- Language, Jenley!

- Bitch, don't tell me what I can and can't say.

- You apologize to Bara right now.

- It's okay, Staven.

- No, you know what, it's not.

You apologize.

- Dad, you're always ignoring me.

It's like I'm nonexistent to you.

- No, it's not like--

- I'm not done!

You hook up with this skank right after Mom dies,

and ever since, you've been so distant.

You haven't said a word to me in over two damn weeks.

You can only talk to this sad replacement of a mom.

- Mm, wow.

- Put a sock in it, Bara.

You two can live your sad pathetic lives, for fuck's sakes!

- What is her problem?

- What a little bitch.

(Aden panting) (tense music)

- [Aden] Aw, you heavy son of a bitch.

Oh, ya ass cream fuck.

There you go, good boy.

Oh baby.

- [Jenley] Love you, Aden.

(lips smacking)

- [Aden] Kissy, kissy face emojis, love you too.

With all my heart.

Poop emoji, yeah.

Love.

Hello, wake up.

- Ow.

- Sorry.

- What's goin' on here?

- [Aden] Shushy.

Who killed Martin Papes?

(Dangler groaning)

- Guy killed himself with a plastic bag.

- [Aden] The fuck you say?

- It was suicide.

- [Aden] Homicide.

- It was suicide.

- [Aden] Goddamn it, Dangler.

- Who are you supposed to be,

some kinda Batman in a paper bag?

- [Aden] I'm not Batman, I'm the Bagman.

For fuckity sakes!

- Are you gonna kill me now?

- [Aden] Geez, you ask a lotta questions.

- It's my job.

Can I go?

- [Aden] Do you recycle plastic?

- Yeah, my parents taught me when I was young.

- [Aden] Good, great to hear you recycle.

Eenie, meenie, miney mo.

- Oh my god, just get this over with.

- [Aden] Okay, Detective Dickalicious.

- Uh, what?

- [Aden] You fuckin' bitch.

- Ow, what was that for?

- [Aden] For fun!

- Who are you talking to?

- [Aden] Your mother.

And just like Mary Jane, she loves my cock.

- Wait. Oh, come on, man.

There's no, like.

- [Aden] Suck it up, poor baby.

(Dangler grumbling)

Get some, bitch.

Fucking cum gobbler.

(insects chirping)

(upbeat music)

- Hey Aden, have you noticed

lots of people have gone missing or killed?

- I had no idea.

- Yeah, a lot of people strangled to death.

Even one guy at the party died.

It looked like someone broke his neck.

- Damn, that's unfortunate.

- Yeah, there was a woman in her car.

She was strangled with a plastic strap.

- Geez.

- A cop came over earlier

and posted something on the bulletin board.

Did ya see it?

- No, I didn't.

- Come and see.

- Okay.

- Look.

- That's awesome.

- Likes to recycle plastic in particular.

(laughs) Looks like you and this Bagman would get along well.

- Oh, most definitely.

- Aw, hey guys.

- Hi, Tyke.

- It's been a while, man.

- Yeah, I just been workin', man.

- What? - You know.

- Pushin' those lawn mowers, smokin' the weed, eh?

- Yeah, somethin' like that.

(Aden laughs)

- Ooh, I see now.

- Yeah, been busy-- - What?

We're already married, Pelly.

- Sorry, now you're divorced.

- Shit!

- Yeah, remember, I sent you those divorce papers?

You signed them, remember, chap?

- I forgot, plastic, damn it.

- Huh? - Plastic?

- Yeah, the Bagman and his plastic, yeah, yeah.

- Oh.

- The guy's a weirdo.

Would make a good movie character though.

- Yeah, I think he would.

I think someone should make that a movie.

- We could call it Bagman Begins.

(Pelly laughs)

- Or the Dark Paper Knight.

- No, and the bad guy could be the Plastic Joke.

- Ooh!

- Yeah.

- I like that.

Anyway, there's a epic bush party happening.

You should come.

- Bush party?

- A party in a bush, Aden, with a bunch of people.

- Yeah, I know what a bush party is.

I just never gone to one.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Oh, well, it's gonna be epic.

Definitely gotta come.

- Yeah, I'll come prematurely.

- Goddamn it, Aden.

Every time, really? - You disgust me.

- Yes, how I disgusting and you're the one

that made a frickin' penis cake for your gay friends.

(Tyke laughing)

- Good point.

Yeah, Tyke, I need to show you something.

- Oh yeah, where?

- In the bathroom.

- Ooh.

My friend, I will text you the details later.

- Oh my god, that sounds fantastic.

- All right.

- See you shortly, Aden.

- Peace. - Sounds good.

Ooh, sexy time!

(tense music)

Bush party this weekend?

Heart, heart, kissy face emoji.

Goddamn it, why won't that bitch text me back!

Just kidding.

(dramatic music)

(thunder crashes)

(Aden panting)

Hi Candy, sorry for the wait.

(Candy screaming)

- Oh my god, did Halloween fucking come early?

Freak!

- [Aden] Yes, and I got myself some Candy.

- Oh my god, don't fucking call me that.

That's for clients only.

What's with the fucking mask?

[Candy whimpering]

- [Aden] Oh, shut up, Candy.

You little, whore.

- Fucking dick bag!

- [Aden] You know Martin Papes?

- Yeah.

He was great in the sack.

- [Aden] Way too much info, Candylicious.

- [Candy] What's he to you?

- [Aden] An old friend.

You know he's dead, right?

- Yeah, my fucking pussy killed him.

- [Aden] Candy, stop it!

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, I've heard some rumors.

- [Aden] So, what were they?

- There's one, there's one.

It was completely stupid and it was totally a lie,

and the other one, the other one is just too vulgar!

- [Aden] Geez Candy, just tell me already.

- I know he did something and it got him killed

'cause pissed somebody off somehow

and I don't know anything though!

- [Aden] Like a friend or somebody close to him?

- I don't know, I seriously don't know.

Please, let me go.

- [Aden] I'm not Batman,

I'm literally the worst detective ever.

- I bet you're fucking hideous underneath that mask.

(Candy gasps)

Oh my god, I'd tap that.

- [Aden] Hell, I would too.

Hm, one last question for you, Candylicious.

(Candy sighs)

You recycle plastic?

- Fuck no!

I throw every single fucking condom wrapper

in the garbage when I'm done with them!

- [Aden] Damn Candy, way too much info, you little bitch.

(Candy screaming)

- Kinky, hey, Bagman?

- [Aden] Oh Candy, oh my god, you plastic slut!

(Candy crying)

- [Candy] What's wrong with you?

- [Aden] You should've recycled!

- You're seriously gonna do this over recycling?

Where are you going?

Don't leave me here for fucking recycling!

Are you kidding me?

(Candy whimpering)

No, no!

- [Aden] Oh, you stupid bitch, you should recycle.

- Where the fuck am I?

(Candy crying)

Oh my god, no!

- [Aden] Plastic is outta the park, bitch!

(camera clicks)

I'm gonna send this to all my Snapchat bitches.

- [Jenley] Yeah, I will totally come, wonder buns.

(Jenley laughs)

- [Aden] Oh, honeylicious.

Oh, you'll be cummin', sugar tits, balls deep.

Yeah!

(thunder rumbling)

(tense music)

- We need to talk.

- Why are you coming to my house?

- Do you know who's been kidnapping and murdering people?

- We go through great precautions

to make sure that shit never comes back on us.

Unless you've been doing fucking something.

- No, I'm the one who was kidnapped by a guy named Bagman.

He wears a fucking paper bag over his head.

- Listen, I don't wanna hear no fucking Halloween story!

Tell me, what the fuck's goin' on!

- It's not a Halloween story.

He asked about Martin Papes.

- Now, we got a real problem.

- He's some type of vigilante.

He even asked me if I recycle.

- Let's get this straight.

You got some kinda wannabe Batman

that's got some kinda fuckin' recycling fetish?

- He's persistent.

He's gonna find anybody in any way he can

to figure out who killed Martin Papes.

- Do you even have an idea who this could be?

- I have one lead.

Some dumb prostitute who winds up dead.

She's has some tie to Martin.

- What about his kid?

- What about his kid?

You think his kid has something to do with this?

- I don't fuckin' know.

That's your job!

I pay you a lot of money.

Why don't you go out there and do your job?

Find out where he is and get an answer!

- On it, sir. - No.

Go do your job.

- [Dangler] I don't get paid enough for this shit.

(thunder rumbling)

(camera clicks)

(thunder crashing)

(phone beeping)

Hey, yeah, it's me.

Yeah, I think we got our guy.

Okay.

Yeah.

(sullen music)

- You're the Bagman, Aden?

- Shit, Mom, you weren't supposed to find that.

- This is what you've been doing at night?

This is what you've been doing since your father died?

- Well, yeah.

- Okay, I understand this.

I understand you want people to recycle.

That doesn't mean you have to kill people.

- Mom, Bagman's a symbol to install fear

so that people do recycle.

- My boy's become a monster.

- Mom, I'm sorry, but when I put on that mask,

I feel like I can do or be anything.

- You don't need a mask, you only need this.

- I know, but it also helps to cover my face,

so no one knows who I am.

- Aden remember, I will always love you.

- I love you too, Mama.

But now, I gotta go.

- What?

- Yeah, it's time for the big fuckin' finale.

- Where are you going?

- To have some fun.

Bye bye.

(Naya sobbing)

- Oh my god.

- Almost forgot.

Love you, bye bye, Mama.

Love you.

- My god.

(upbeat music)

(partiers chattering)

- Hey, Pelly.

- Hey, Aden, I'm glad you came.

- Yeah, I came, all right.

- Straight to talking dirty.

- Of course!

Hey, um, ah, where's Tyke?

- We broke up.

- What?

I thought things were going good.

- All he does is work and smoke weed.

Plus, he sucks in bed.

It's that small brown dick of his.

- Geez, Pelly, I didn't need the details.

- Sorry, but Tyke can go die in a hole.

- Oh geez, I'm sorry, Pelly.

- Oh well, at least you're a good friend.

- You're a good friend too.

You know, there's plenty of fishies in the sea for ya.

(Pelly laughing)

(Aden laughing)

Fuckin' rewrites.

- I mean, I don't even know how,

what to do with a girl on a first date.

What do you do, take her on a picnic?

- Uh, I don't know, man.

Probably just, like, hop back to my car and then that's it.

Just ask her to join.

(men laughing)

- You guys are terrible.

That's not what you do on a first date.

- Aw, I was tryin' my best.

- Oh, I don't know, but hey, I'm open to suggestions.

- Okay, the way I see it, you guys have three options.

- I'd like to hear these three options.

- Okay, if you say so.

So, three options, eat her out, deep anal, or Wendy's.

(Aden and Jenley chuckling)

- Ha ha, I can only afford two of those.

(everyone laughing)

So?

- Since I haven't taken you on a date,

maybe we could do

- [Aden And Jenley] Deep a.

(Aden and Jenley laughing)

- Or we could eat out at Wendy's.

- Oh.

Oh, honey buns.

- Oh, wonder buns.

(partiers chattering)

- You're a weird fucking couple.

(Aden and Jenley laughing)

- I couldn't agree with you more.

- Maybe you can help me out

with this whole first date type of thing.

- Uh, sorry, no way, buddy.

- I that how it's gonna be?

- I'm just kidding.

See you two lovebirds later.

Don't have too much fun.

- [Aden] Yes, see ya, Pelly.

- [Jenley] Bye, Pelly.

- Well, maybe we can go to Wendy's.

- Oh god. (laughs)

- Go get those fishies.

Say bye bye to Pelly's character.

- Fishies?

- Yeah, fishies.

- You and your words.

- I know, right?

Wait, is this an in again?

- Of course, it is.

(Aden chuckles)

Oh, what?

- [Woman] What the hell, man?

- Oh, what the fuck?

- [Jenley] What a drunken ass idiot.

- I love how you talk about people.

- Oh, I'm so glad you made it.

- I wouldn't miss a cool party like this, would I?

- Thanks.

- Thanks.

(blonde man laughing)

- [Blonde Man] Whoa, dude!

(tense music)

- [Man] In a blue shirt?

- [Woman] Did you take a picture?

Like, I know.

- Who's that?

Ow!

Did you just slap my ass?

- [Aden] Yes, you likey?

- No, I don't likey.

Do I know you?

- [Aden] Maybe.

What's with the plastic knife?

- Well, this, this is a, um,

to murder the girl that broke up with me?

- [Aden] I am so sorry to hear about that.

- [Woman] Yeah.

- [Aden] I'm Bagman, bitch.

- Oh shit!

You're Bagman!

(woman screaming)

- [Aden] Is this chick serious?

- [Woman] Holy fuckin' shit, holy fuckin' shit!

(woman gagging)

- [Aden] Huh?

(insects chirping)

(partiers chattering and laughing)

- Hey, you girls look a bit lonely.

Need some company?

- I think we're good.

- You sure?

- Yup.

(upbeat techno music)

- What about you, sweetheart?

- I'm fine too.

What the fuck?

(man groaning)

- Ow!

(partiers cheering)

- And don't you ever touch my fucking ass unless I say so.

- [Man] Okay, I won't.

(partiers cheering)

- [Man] Bitch.

(man groaning)

- [Man With Curly Hair] You did way better than me, man.

- [Jenley] Stop!

Oh my god.

(man with curly hair laughing)

- Looks like you ladies are having a great time.

- Yes, we are.

- Talk about a nutcracker.

(Jenley laughing)

(man with curly hair laughing)

(all laughing)

(camera clicking)

- You two should kiss.

- No.

- [Aden] Oh.

Uh, okay.

Uh.

What?

- What about me?

- That was fun.

- Sure was.

- It was awesomeness.

I gotta take a piss.

You ladies wanna join.

Maybe we could have, like, a sword fight or something.

- Ha, I wanna have a sword fight.

- I was just kidding.

- Don't get lost, you knob gobbler.

- Oh, there'll be something you gobble tonight.

(tense music)

Ah, love is in the air.

Goddamn it!

Oh, my pussy's gettin' ready.

It's time for the fucking plastic trap.

(Aden grunting)

Aw, that was in there real good.

Cut to another scene already.

- So, are you plannin' on movin' outta your parents' house?

- Most definitely.

I can't stand them.

(partiers chattering)

- Your dad and your stepmom are very odd.

It's almost as if they don't care about your that much.

- A little harsh, Erica.

- I'm sorry, Jenley.

- It's fine.

They're both just a bunch of dinks, anyways.

- [Man] Get 'em, smart ass.

- Geez.

How long does it take Aden to take a piss?

- Maybe he's taking a shit.

- Maybe he's lost.

- [Man] No, we only slept together that one.

- Do you think we should go look for him?

- What if he comes back and we're gone?

- At least we waited.

- [Woman] My dog got shaved today.

- [Jenley] Let's go.

- [Man] Are you sure?

- [Woman] Did you take a picture?

Be like, my dog's last bath for a while.

(tense music)

- [Aden] How many fucking cups do these people buy?

(Aden screams)

Damn, it is a plastic trap!

(Dangler groaning)

Woo!

Shoulda hit me with a two-by-four, jack (screams).

(Dangler panting)

Hey guys, can we go for a sleigh ride later?

One of you can be Rudolph,

another one can be suckin' on Rudolph's cock.

Ah!

Yo, you dickaroos.

- Let's get outta here.

(Aden groans)

- [Aden] Ball sacks.

Ooh, so this is what it's like to be tied up.

Kinky!

(Dangler laughs)

(Aden groans)

Owie, my nutsos, man, come on!

- That was for hittin' me

in the nuts earlier, you little prick!

- [Aden] Come on, Detective,

you know better, you crooked ass nugget.

- Recycling freak.

- [Aden] Come on Danglenuts,

I'm not Jason or Freddy Krueger-looking, motherfucker!

Shit.

- This is for kidnapping me.

- [Aden] Ow! - This is for tying me up.

And this is for knocking me out.

(Aden groans)

- [Aden] I thought you liked that, sexalicious.

- You piece.

- That's enough, Dangler.

- [Aden] Yeah, enough, Dangler.

- We need him conscious.

We need him to talk.

- Fine.

But I get to kill him.

- Fine, I'm okay with that.

- [Aden] Chain of command, Detective Dickaroo.

- Aw, I'm gonna fuckin' kill him right now.

- [Staven] No, no.

- [Dangler] Damn!

- [Aden] So, how is your day going?

- Do you think you can just go around

and kill anybody that doesn't recycle?

Don't you got a boyfriend or something?

(Aden chuckling)

- [Aden] I do got a boyfriend.

It was a tough choice between Ryan Reynolds and Deadpool.

I chose Deadpool,

so I could be the better looking motherfucker!

- Interesting choice.

(Aden chuckles)

- [Aden] I also got a honey on the side.

Her name is Jenley, your daughter, Mr. Plast.

- No!

Don't lie.

- [Aden] I'm not lying.

Seems like you don't care for her at all.

Almost seems like you're a shit of a father.

(Staven grunts) (Aden groans)

- Listen, there's no way she's dating a psycho like you.

- [Aden] But she is.

Must be my great looks, my great sense of humor,

and my five-incher of penis!

(Staven grunts) (Aden groans)

- Come on, Staven, you should calm down.

- Shut the fuck up!

- [Aden] Yeah, shut the fuck up, Dangler.

(gun clicks)

- Staven, just let me kill him now.

- [Aden] Oh shit.

- We both wanna kill him, but not yet.

Wait.

- [Aden] Yeah, wait, you dickless fuck.

- [Dangler] Who's this?

- [Aden] Dangler, it's your mother.

She wants more of what I gave her last night.

(Aden laughing)

- Just ignore him.

- They should call him Douchebag Man.

- [Aden] More like Puss Bag Buddy.

Lick on Staven's cock, you cock-munching ass.

(Aden panting)

- [Jenley] Where the hell is he?

- No clue, it is a field after all.

- True.

- He's probably high on mushrooms or some shit.

(Jenley laughing)

- Probably.

- [Aden] You gonna get out or what?

- Shut up!

- [Aden] I was just askin' a question,

you fuckin' penis-gobbling fuck.

(door slams)

- Are you kidding me?

- [Aden] What the shit snappers?

Twist alert.

- So, this is the Baghead.

- [Aden] No, I'm the Bagman, you puss-munching cock.

Ah!

That fuckin' hurt.

- I've heard you've been a bad boy.

- [Aden] Yes, yes, I've been a bad boy, you fucking bitch.

- Is that the Bagman?

- No way.

I think it is.

- He kinda turns me on.

(Jenley chuckles)

- [Jenley] You're a weirdo.

- Hey, Jenley.

- Yeah?

- Doesn't that look like your dad and your stepmom?

- No way.

It can't be.

Oh shit.

Yeah, uh, I think it is.

- This is who we've been working for?

- She's the run of the show ever since Dana died.

- Pussy-whipped motherfucker.

- Oh, shut up already.

(Aden laughs)

- [Aden] Drama!

- Holy shit.

You were right.

- I ain't workin' for you, bitch.

- Well, you don't have to,

but I can't keep you alive either.

- What?

(Dangler groaning)

(Jenley gasps)

- [Aden] Really Staven, a plastic strap?

The cops are gonna chase me down like Batman.

You know, at the end of the Dark Knight,

you old fat pickled prick.

Jackass.

(Jenley whimpers) - Shh.

- [Aden] You should write a book on how to frame people,

you dick-munching ass.

Untie me here so I can slap you, bitch.

- [Jenley And Erica] No fucking way.

- So, Aden, I hear you're looking

for your father's killer, right?

- You know, stepmoms are either evil like in Cinderella

or hot like in porn.

- Do you want me to kill him?

- No!

Not yet!

- [Aden] Dumbass.

- I run a drug and prostitution business.

I wanna offer you a job, Aden.

I could use your expertise.

- Could I get a job with Justin Trudeau?

I just find him so charming and hot.

- Mm, I'll take that as a no.

Now, you can kill him, Staven.

- [Aden] Okay, wait.

- Huh, now you wanna accept my offer.

- Do you also handle sex toys too? (chuckles)

- Kill him.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Before you kill, can you tell me why my daddy was killed?

- Well, long story short.

- Bad lady story time, yay!

- Staven?

(Dana screams)

Staven, what the fuck?

- Let's screw right here, just like you and Martin did.

- I don't know what you're

talking about. - What do you mean you don't know?

- Staven, you're drunk! - What do you mean you don't know? - I don't know

what you're talking about!

- What do you mean? - Staven, stop! Oh my god!

- You know what I'm talkin' about!

(Dana gagging) (tense music)

- Staven!

(Staven panting)

- No, no, no!

- What's with choking people to death?

- You know, I'm really not quite sure.

- Can we just kill this kid and get it over with?

- Wait.

I didn't tell him who killed his daddy.

Staven killed your poor dad.

(Aden chuckles)

- You think you're gonna put it to my fuckin' wife?

It's not gonna fuckin' work.

(Martin screaming) (tense music)

Fuck you!

- So, how do you fit into all this?

- Well, after Staven killed Dana, he called me.

- How did he know how to call you?

- Kijiji, we were so turned on when we met,

we had sex beside Dana's dead body.

- Ooh.

I'm gonna have to go on that side,

so I can find all the sick, twisted bitches.

- Staven wanted me to run his business

because I was good at what I did.

Plus, he's pussy-whipped.

- Bara!

- Don't you Bara me!

We're going to have a very long talk when we get home.

Staven killed Martin because he banged his wife.

Simple as that.

Besides, he was a lowlife piece of shit anyways.

- Is it all true?

- Honey buns.

- How could you?

- Jenley, get outta here now.

- Great, this bitch gets into the mix.

- I can't believe you. (sobbing)

- Staven, kill her.

- What?

- It's not as if you care about her anyways.

- [Aden] Don't fuckin' do it, man, don't fuckin' do it!

- Don't you dare come near me.

(Aden panting)

You wouldn't.

- [Staven] Sorry, it's gotta be this way.

- [Bara] Do it, Staven.

- [Erica] Go help her.

- Do it, Dad, I dare you.

- Do it, Staven.

It'll all be blamed on the Bagman.

(Jenley gasps)

- No, no, no, oh no, no, please.

- [Aden] Erica.

- [Jenley] No, Erica.

- [Aden] Shit.

Spirit says three's a crowd.

- Please, wake up.

Please.

- [Aden] I'm sorry, Jenley, but she's gone.

(Jenley sobbing)

- I'm sorry, for everything, Jenley.

(Aden grunting)

- [Aden] Let's end this shit snapper, Staven.

'Cause my pussy's ready.

- I'll kill this bitch myself!

- [Aden] What?

(Bara screaming)

- [Jenley] No, please, no!

Aden!

(Jenley screams) - You fucking bitch!

- [Jenley] Help me!

- Skanky little whore! - Help me!

(Jenley screams) - Where's the popcorn when you need it?

- Do it, Staven.

Let's be done with this.

- [Jenley] No, please, no!

Help me!

- What are you doing?

No, Staven!

- Fuck you!

(Jenley sobbing)

- [Aden] Holy shit sacks, are you okay, sexy buns?

- No.

- [Aden] Yeah, a bit of a silly question, I'd say.

- It's all your fault.

- [Aden] What?

- You!

(Staven grunts)

- [Aden] That is falsifiedo, motherfucker.

- [Staven] Oh shit.

(Jenley sobbing)

- [Aden] Suck a cock.

(Staven groans)

- If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be in this mess.

- [Aden] If you didn't kill my daddy,

we wouldn't be here, crackerjack.

- You gotta go. I'm doin' people a favor.

- [Aden] Suck on my hair asshole.

This is the end of Bagman?

(sullen music)

(ethereal vocalizing)

Oh my, recycled footage!

(Aden grunting)

(Staven groaning)

(Aden panting)

This is for my daddy! - No!

- [Aden] Obi-Wan?

- No, it's Dad.

- [Aden] Daddy?

- Revenge is not the answer, my son.

You're better than this.

- [Aden] How are you here?

- I've been looking over you.

When I said, change the world,

I didn't mean, go around killing people.

Although, I do like the concept.

- [Aden] I know, but a lot of people

don't wanna change for the better.

(tense music)

Where are you going, Daddy?

I love you.

- Aden, let me go.

You now have a cute girl.

Love her with all your heart, cherish her

and that, and that ass. - [Aden] I will, Daddy.

Bye, bye.

- Bye.

- [Aden] I'll see you in the spirit world.

I'm sorry Stavey baby.

Let's kiss and make up, sweet tits.

Forgiveness, a love that's so right?

- Fuck forgiveness.

- [Aden] Oh my, I thought he was gonna forgive me.

- Enough is enough.

This is for my mom and Erica!

- [Aden] Holy boo boo tits, it's beautiful.

(Staven groaning)

Holy shit.

- What in the hell just happened, Aden?

- [Aden] One hell of an ending.

- Or is it Bagman?

- [Aden] It's Aden Papes slash Bagman.

You'll see it in the credits.

- I still can't believe you're the Bagman.

- [Aden] Me either.

- You're a killer.

- [Aden] Is that okay?

Like, you just killed your daddy.

- True.

(sullen music)

I don't care though.

I still love you.

- [Aden] Oh, how sweet of you.

Love you too, honey buns.

Sorry, no kiss, to cliche.

(Jenley chuckles)

Will you be Bagwoman?

(Jenley laughing)

- Yes.

It doesn't fit.

- [Aden] Shit, I thought my prop master made it all good.

- I'm just messing with you.

(Jenley laughs)

- [Aden] Oh.

- You know, I'm gonna miss Erica though.

- [Aden] Me too, I'm kinda bummed

that there's no three-way now.

- Shut up!

(Aden chuckles)

- [Aden] You wanna go back to the party?

- No.

- [Aden] You wanna go for ice cream?

- No.

- [Aden] You wanna go for Wendy's?

- Stop it.

- You wanna gargle my balls?

- Shut up!

(both laughing)

- [Aden] You're probably sitting there thinking,

what in the fuckaroos did I just watch?

Anyhow, please remember to recycle

or I'll fucking kill you!

Oh, also, minute-plus credit scenes alert.

Hint hint, my ass.

Ah.

(tense music)

(men laughing)

- [Man] Okay, can I just, could there just be a finger,

funny, just start saying I'm.

(Aden grunting)

Shit, I'm locked!

(Aden screams)

- Do that, I should do this again

without looking into the camera.

- Okay.

(everyone laughing)

- Ah, charley horse!

- Oh shit! (woman laughing)

(crew chattering)

- Just wanted to do that.

- What? - Yeah.

- [Woman] Something on his face.

- [Phillip] Um, could you narrow it down.

(all laughing)

(Aden screaming)

- Where'd you go?

- Just jerkin' off.

Sorry, sorry.

And you never will! - What the fuck?

(man laughing)

(woman laughing)

- Here! (Aden screams)

(Maya laughing)

- [Man] Okay, you can't laugh.

- [Phillip] I'm sorry, I.

(Maya and Phillip laughing)

- [Man] Yeah, I can't focus.

- [Man] There you go, James.

(all laughing)

- All.

- Okay, let's go back to that.

- Then get to work.

- [Aden] I will.

Then I go and suck your ass for later.

- About a week ago.

- [Man] Uh, just hold on.

- [Woman] He didn't say action.

- Oh shit. (laughs)

- [Man] Okay.

No, let's try that again.

(Lee laughing) Hey man, go don't take a leak.

- What's up, Tyke?

(Phillip laughing) Fuck.

- [Phillip] You fucking dude!

- Put on hold for the time being.

- Oh, for fuck's said, Sid.

Lick my ass.

Oh damn.

- [Man] Right now.

- [Phillip] You're good, take a breather.

You can move if you want.

(Lori laughs)

- Fuck me, Erica.

Literally, I mean, no. (laughs)

(all laughing)

- [Man] Oh my god!

(all laughing)

- Deal.

This is the last time I'm leavin', for sure.

Okay, I'm really goin'.

(speaking faintly)

Yeah, I'm sure you will.

(Dangler sobbing)

- [Dangler] Help, no!

Oy, no, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, ah!

(Dangler coughing)

(all laughing)

(tense music)

(Dangler gasps)

- [Aden] Wow, the credits finished.

My turn!