Original subtitles

♪ ♪

♪ Grab a plate, pass a plate ♪

♪ Clean up quick, don't be late ♪

♪ It's clean-up time, woo-woo! Uh! ♪

♪ It's clean-up time, woo-woo! ♪

♪ It's clean-up time, it's clean-up time ♪

♪ It's clean-up time, woo-woo! ♪

Levi, I'm trying to make cleanup fun,

and you are killing the vibe.

Sorry. I have a lot of things on my mind.

-Uh-huh. -Yeah.

There've been other things taking up space

in the old noggin.

Oh, things like the word "noggin"?

Just so distracted

because I've been cast as Mercutio

in the high school production of Romeo and Juliet.

-We know. -We know.

It's all you've talked about for a month.

I know your rehearsal schedule.

And I know all about those fittings and the costumes

that no one asked me to make.

Yeah, and I'm literally the stage manager,

and I can't do anything about this vengeful understudy

-you keep talking about. -Griffin.

He keeps shooting me looks. You just can't see.

Oh, I'm just so excited to watch my baby

follow in my footsteps, huh?

First step, school play. Next stop...

♪ Broadway! ♪

-You might be dreaming a little big there, Mom. -What? Levi,

honey, you are the firstborn son

of the understudy to the lead of the traveling production

of Bats: The Musical, okay?

I mean, listen,

the stage is your destiny, you know?

It's your legacy. Dare I say,

your moral obligation.

No pressure.

♪ Yo ♪

♪ Let me tell you somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision all worked out ♪

♪ But then life had other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, Rae ♪

♪ It's crazy when things turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up and take that chance ♪

-♪ Maybe I'm just finding my way ♪ -♪ Learning how to fly ♪

-♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪ -♪ Ya know I got you, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild, but ya know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just kids caught up in a crazy world ♪

-♪ C'mon! ♪ -♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

-♪ We get loud! ♪ -♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough, but together we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other like family should ♪

-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪ -♪ When it's tough ♪

-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪ -♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cos no matter the weather, ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other, ya know it's our time ♪

[Raven laughing]

Yep! That's us.

[laughing]

♪♪♪

Wait, was this wall supposed to be purple or blue?

I wanna say purple?

Oh man, I was gonna say blue. [gasps]

-Both: Blurple! -You guys, I just saw Wyatt Darcy--

What are you two doing?

No. Guys, this wall was supposed to be terracotta yellow.

Well, we would've known that

if you had been here to tell us, stage manager.

Yeah, you snooze you blues and... purple.

You blurple. [laughs]

Okay, forget the wall for now. Guys,

Wyatt Darcy is at Carver Magnet.

Wait, another debate showdown already?

No, no. Debate season is over. Yeah,

he has no reason to be roaming the halls with his attitude

and his perfect I-know-everything face.

There's a debate season? [laughs] That's wild.

Well, you know what's wild? Wyatt Darcy is here!

Wow, I love this for you.

And as your number one wing-woman,

I love this for me. How can I help?

Well, I ran in here as soon as it looked like

he was coming this way, so I still need to go through

my pre-fierce checklist. [clears throat] Alright. Hair?

-Check. -Outfit?

Too late to change it now-- But, check! Yep.

-Attitude? -Both: Check.

Hey, Nia!

Hey, Wyatt. Long time no see.

Really? Because...

you turned around when I called your name

in the hallway earlier, and then you ran off.

I was trying to tell you that

I just transferred here. You're very fast, by the way.

Wait, transferred here?

To Carver? As in, like, where I go?

I, um... Nice messenger bag.

I guess you don't care about having lower back pain.

Actually, studies show that a messenger bag

is better than an improperly loaded backpack.

Um, Wyatt, if you're referring to me, I would never improperly

load a backpack. Do I look reckless to you?

Ask for me tomorrow,

and you shall find me a grave man!

No, that's not right.

Stop staring at me, Griffin!

Mercutio is mine.

Hey, Levi.

Bro, what has got you so stressed out?

This play.

Director Kim keeps checking on my progress.

He's a huge fan of my mom's,

and once he found out I was her son,

he bumped me up to Mercutio in the high school production.

In the middle school play,

I was a gym coach with two lines!

Relax, alright? I'll help you practice.

[sighs]

Wow. That guy really is intense.

If the nerves don't get me,

Griffin definitely will.

♪ ♪

-Clark: Who's there? -Hi, it's Raven from the third floor.

-[quiet chatter] -Oh. I'm sorry.

I wasn't expecting you at the Neighborhood Watch meet.

I found this in the lobby.

Mr. Meowgi! Wait, why do you have a cat carrier?

This is a gerbil carrier.

My kids don't have a gerbil anymore.

Oh, and I found this hairball inside your cat.

Congratulations, it's a girl.

-[party laughter] -How could you tell?

Looks just like my daughter when she was born.

[laughter continues]

Hm...

Oh, you're over here, watching neighbors

and eating fancy cheese. [laughs]

Your kids must be grown.

Me and the Neighborhood Watch gals

have been hanging out these days.

Yeah. Turns out,

-there's not a lot to watch in our neighborhood. -[laughs]

But, Tracy makes a mean galette.

[laughs] Well, galette me at it.

Which is what I would say if I didn't have to go upstairs and,

you know, prevent my son from eating

everything in the frigerator.

It's like somebody hooked a vacuum to the fridge.

-You know what I mean? -[laughter]

He doesn't chew, he doesn't swallow. Is it possible

for a human to just inhale food?

[laughter]

-You're cracking us up in here. -I see.

Ooh, great idea. You should join

our rooftop open mic event.

You can do more of that stand-up.

-Stand-up? -Yeah. You'd be a hit.

A hit?

Me? Performing...

I heard the call once.

It was the wrong number.

From your fans.

Oh well, then ring-ring. Hello? Yes, I'm here! Right number!

[laughs] Mama, I'm gonna be a star.

♪ ♪

[grunts] What do you want from me?

Nothing but one of your nine lives!

[both screaming]

[slapping, grunting]

Okay, now you stab me.

[anguished cry]

A plague on both your houses!

[grunts]

I don't know what you're so worried about.

You are dying like a pro, Mercutio.

Thanks to all your help.

Are you sure you don't wanna talk to your mom?

I'm sure if she knew you were stressed,

she would turn down the pressure.

No way.

She takes this stuff way too seriously.

She once did Shakespeare in the Park--

Oh yeah. Yeah, I've heard of that.

You didn't let me finish.

Shakespeare in the Parking Lot.

So, you have to promise not to tell her.

Okay, fine. I won't.

I'm gonna take another stab at that fight scene.

[whooshing]

After watching that performance,

I'll have to rethink my casting decisions.

[whooshing]

[thud]

Oh no. That looks bad.

I'm fine, bro.

That's what we theater-types call...

acting! [grunts]

That's not what director Kim calls acting.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

I know I promised Levi not to tell Aunt Chelsea,

but his performance legacy is at stake.

To say or not to say.

Wow, that Shakespeare is really rubbing off on me.

Thank goodness you're here, Booker.

-I thought I was gonna have trouble with that doorknob. -[laughs]

-Oh, oh... -I'm just gonna...

[overlapping chatter]

What's going on, Booker? You alright?

Here's the thing, Aunt Chelsea, I can't... tell you.

-Why? -But, if you guess...

[gasps] Ooh!

Okay! I love charades!

-Okay. Bring it. -Let's do this! Huh?

Okay. Three words.

First word.

-Booker: Okay. -Yeah.

Oh. Okay-- oh, a baby.

M-my... my baby! Levi. Levi! Okay.

What's going on with Levi?

Levi. Levi is... Oh.

[gibberish]

Worried? Worried!

Okay, Levi's wor-- Worried? About what?

Oh. It's dramatic.

Um... The play! The play!

Levi's worried about the play!

No, that can't be right. That's like six words.

-No, Aunt Chelsea, yes! You got it right! -Booker,

it's okay. Everyone gets a little stage fright.

If Levi were really worried, he'd tell me about it.

No, Aunt Chels, Levi made me promise not to tell you.

That's why we played charades.

-Oh. -He feels like there's just too much pressure with you.

What? Too much pressure? Nah...

Nah... No... No way...

"To Levi, my bright and shining star.

The continuation of my undying performance legacy--"

Okay! Alright. Thank you! Thank you so much. Thank you.

Alright, listen. It's fine.

You know, I know Levi,

and acting is in his blood.

Aunt Chelsea, I had a vision of Levi...

-being recast. -[gasps] Recast?

-Yes! -What?

-Don't they know who Levi is? -I don't think they do.

[sighs] Well, he is the firstborn son

of the understudy to the lead

of the traveling production of Bats: The Musical.

Wha... I have to coach him.

-No, no, no! I wasn't even supposed to tell you! -[sighs]

But what if... What if you coach me,

and then I coach Levi?

That way he gets the help, he never knows you knew,

and then, I won't get in trouble! It's a win-win-win!

Yeah! Okay. Anything for Levi. [laughs]

Training starts now. [clears throat]

Lesson one. Method acting.

This is deep, alright? I want you to act like a kid

carrying a laundry basket.

Mm-hmm.

-Oh! -[gasps]

Ta-da! Acting!

♪ ♪

Oh, Ramon. Ease up on the vines.

We're going for romance not rain forest.

I think your rain forest

-is totally romantic, bae. -Thank you!

[scoffs]

Tess, Tess, Tess, Wyatt is here. Why is Wyatt here?

-Why, why, here, why-- -Hey, hey! Deep breaths, Ni.

Wyatt mentioned needing some extracurriculars,

-so I... -What?

-I mean Ramon suggested stage crew. -Ramon suggested...

Oh...

Ramon suggested it. Yeah. Yes, I did.

-Quick, checklist. Hair, outfit, attitude? -Check, check,

-and check. -Okay.

-Hey! You got this, bestie. -Thank you.

Go.

-Hey! -Hey, Nia.

You know, I used to stage manage at Parkview,

so I'm, uh, happy to give you some pointers.

Pointers...

Well, I mean, for one,

I would personally go with roses

on this trellis. You know, for the romance.

But, as stage manager, uh,

I'm gonna go with morning glories for the symbolism.

But, a rose by any other name--

But it's the east, and Juliet is the sun.

You should be director the way you just set that scene.

Hey, Nia needs chances to talk to Wyatt.

Don't you mean fight with him?

Same thing. Just leave it to me, okay? I'm the wing-woman.

I don't know. Maybe we should stay out of Nia's business.

Okay, when we fight, it's not as cute.

No. It's cuter.

Aw! Nice recovery, boyfriend!

♪ ♪

Alright. Now, Levi, enough running lines.

Okay? You need something a little more...

method acting, okay?

[mouthing]

This will center you.

Now, grow, bro.

Wow.

I think I can feel it working.

-Ah! -[thud]

Levi, I got a bucket of socks.

Are these clean?

[laughs] Levi,

we both know the answer to that.

Alright, now take a sock, throw it up.

[gets louder]: And when the sock goes up...

[mouthing]

...your voice goes up.

[sniffs] Hoo!

[gets louder]: A plague!

On both!

Your houses!

Okay, last but not least,

accents.

I've been scared to try one.

Sometimes when I'm stressed, I can't turn it off.

Well, this is Shakespeare, bro.

So how am I supposed to sound?

Old? And important? How's your British?

[Cockney]: Jolly good, guv'nor!

Uh...

Maybe a little less British, right?

[upper class]: Very good, sir.

Uh, your dad's British? So, imitate him.

[bad accent]: Top of the morning to you!

Um...

That was perfect, buddy. That was fantastic.

You stay here and practice that,

I'm gonna go get some water.

Top of the morning to you!

I'm sorry, is that what he thinks his dad sounds like?

Well, that actually is what his dad sounded like

when we visited him in prison.

Not deeper than a well!

Not wider than a church door!

Was that even Shakespeare?

I honestly can't tell anymore.

♪ ♪

Well, Mr. Clark in the Neighborhood Watch

asked me over for a little Cheese and Chill the other day.

Yeah. You know what really kills a parent's chill?

Children.

[laughing]

Wait, what?

Oh, just wait. It gets good.

What's so funny about having a son whose odor is so strong,

you can smell him before you see him?

-[women laughing] -Honestly, the boy changed hide-and-seek to hide-and-reek.

[laughing]

Man, tell them, Rae! Tell them!

You see, it's funny because it's true.

Oh, my other child, yeah. Aw, she's so cute.

Trying to save the planet, save the oceans. [laughs]

Girl, why don't you save me some money

and recycle an outfit now and then?

[laughing]

You see, it's funny because you never do.

Hey, family.

-Hello, Mother. -Hello, Mother.

Mother? Who drew the curtains? 'Cause that was shady.

Aunt Chelsea recorded your stand-up from last night.

All of the jokes were about us.

Yeah, buddy! Crushed it! [laughs]

No, Mom, it was embarrassing.

Alright, I do not smell.

[sniffs] That bad.

Come on! Your mom was hilarious!

-See? -Well, Mom,

please no more jokes about us.

What? Nothing else is funny!

Watch.

Traffic. Am I right?

-W-where's the joke? -This is what I'm talking about.

♪ ♪

Levi, you're killing me out there.

It's intermission, and I still haven't seen

the kid I cast!

Where's the raw talent?

The vulnerability?

[bad accent]: It's in here, I swear!

[normal]: I can feel you looking at me, Griffin.

Please.

Try to find your normal voice before the second act.

Psst! Hey, hey.

Booker, everything is going wrong.

I know, but there's still time to fix this, okay?

It's your destiny. All you have to do

is be emotionally available,

and then you'll naturally fulfill your moral obligation.

"Destiny? Moral obligation"?

Those are Mom words.

You talked to my mom.

Okay, yes. Levi, yes, I did talk to your mom, okay?

But, I had a vision. I was just trying to help.

You lied to me.

And now my mom sees what a disappointment I am.

-Levi, wait-- -[bad accent]: Don't follow me!

Ugh! And now I'm stuck with this voice!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Booker: Levi! Levi!

-Levi! -Excuse me.

Why are you stage whispering Levi's name

when he's supposed to be on the stage?

Because I kinda lost him.

-You did what now? -Booker: Okay,

Levi found out that I went to you for help,

and then he got really mad,

then just ran away.

What, Levi? Doing cardio? Okay, this is serious.

Listen, I'm gonna help you find him.

We've only got a few minutes before curtain.

-Yeah, I'll help, too. -No! No, Rae,

-you gotta stay here and stall. -Yeah,

Aunt Chels, that's a good idea. Mom,

you can do some of your stand-up.

Oh? You want me... want me to perform on stage?

[clears throat] I can do that.

Uh, just remember. Please don't talk about the kid stuff.

Aw, man.

Hey! Hey, everybody, how you doing?

How you doing? [nervous laugh]

Traffic, am I right?

-Just do the kid stuff. -Yes!

Alright! Any parents in the house?

Any parents in the h-- Well, that is sad.

It is. 'Cause I saw y'all drive up with your cars

and your little stick figure families on the back.

I got one of them stickers. Yeah, but...

but mine is holding up the sign that says, "help me."

[laughter]

Ah-ha!

Aunt Chels! I found him!

Levi, what are you doing?

Trying to take off this ridiculous costume.

I'm stuck in my sleeves.

Hey!

No. I can't do it.

You talked to my mom when you promised you wouldn't.

I know. And I'm sorry, alright?

But I had a vision that you were gonna get recast.

I just wanted to help.

Yeah, and I just wanted to help him help you.

But, all your help just made me more nervous.

Oh.

I'm not carrying on your stage legacy.

Listen, honey. I'm proud of you no matter what.

-Really? -Yes!

Because as the firstborn son to the understudy to the lead

of the traveling production of Bats: The Musical,

I know there's a lot to live up to.

Listen,

you don't have to live up to anything.

All you have to do is your best.

And I know that's what you're gonna do. Come here, sweetie.

Oh...

I would also suggest turning out

just a little bit, right? You know,

-so the audience can hear you better. -Got it, Mom.

Got it. Okay, what do you say? Huh?

Can the show go on?

Can the show go on? Because it really must go on,

honey. Alright? It must.

And you must project. We have terrible seats.

Which I'm going to return to now

and enjoy whatever you do.

Hey, Levi. I'm sorry again for talking to your mom.

I know you were just trying to look out for me.

And with that in mind, let's take a moment to breathe,

check everything out, and forget every bad thing I taught you.

Let's go.

And...

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven...

Eight!

We...

Okay, so when it's time, I'll help you pull.

The curtain should open quickly for the drama.

Well, if we open the curtain slowly,

it heightens the anticipation,

so that's obviously what we're doing.

Alright. Sounds good.

Does it sound good? Because you were pretty

hype on speed just a second ago.

Why do you keep arguing with me?

Wyatt, what are you talking about?

Well, every time I try to talk to you,

it just seems like you're trying to pick a fight with me.

-No, I'm not fighting with you. -And now,

you're fighting with me about whether or not

-you're fighting with me. -Because I'm not fighting with you, Wyatt.

-I'm flirting. -You-you are?

Yeah.

What, was that not obvious?

Look, I like arguing with you

because you have interesting ideas and I like hearing them.

And I really like you.

I really like you, too, Nia.

[laughs]

Although, you have some very wrong opinions.

Oh, I have wrong opinions. Gotcha.

[rope running]

So, yeah-- Oh, speaking of my kids!

Did we...

Levi, come on, let's go!

Uh...

[projecting]: What do you want from me?

I said...

what do you want from me?

Nothing but one of your nine lives!

Put your sword up!

You may find my sword about your ears.

-[yelling] -[swords slapping]

Oh!

I am hurt! Ask for me tomorrow,

and you shall find me a grave man!

Oh!

A plague on both your houses!

[grunts]

[applause, cheering]

-[laughing] -Wow, Nia,

I can't believe Wyatt just opened the curtain like that!

-No, it was my fault. -No, it was my fault.

-[laughs] After you. -[laughs] After you.

Why, thank you.

Okay, what just happened?

I don't know. But as wing-woman,

I'm gonna claim success. Go me.

-Yeah! -Go me!

Yo, way to go, Mercutio!

After watching that performance,

I'll have to rethink my casting decisions.

Your performance tonight has been...

well, it has been.

But what you did just then,

that... was raw talent!

-Really? -Absolutely!

Granted, you died an act too early,

skipped several lines,

and the play has been a mess all night.

-Really... -But, perform like that

for the next two nights, and you've got a real shot

at making the lead in the next play.

Chelsea: Yes! Yes! We did it!

We did it, everyone! [laughs]

I mean you. You did it, honey.

I'm just so proud of you, really.

First stop, Romeo and Juliet. Next stop,

Bats: The Musical!

Did someone say Bats ?

It is you!

I used to play in a cover band,

and you inspired me to put down my bass!

I saw you in the Poconos and said,

"No, no. There's more for me."

Oh!

I-I think between the two of us, we can turn this boy

-into the next Theodore Jax! -[sighs]

Who-who-who's Theodore Jax?

Why, the star of Bats , of course.

But you know?

He's already Theodore Jax to me.

♪ ♪

Alright, family!

-Dig in! -Chelsea: Yummy!

I love a celebration dinner!

And there's so much to celebrate, right, Chels? There's--

There's Levi and...

Levi and...

Are you trying to get us to say you, Mom?

No way. Not gonna happen.

-Auntie Rae's stand-up routine was a total hit. -Yeah, and now everybody knows

that I sucked my thumb until I was 9.

Way to shrivel my reputation, Mom.

Yeah, well, I think you got it better

than big diaper Booker over there.

Wow! After everything we've been through, Aunt Chels?

Alright, you guys. How about this? How about this?

How about you roast me as payback

for all the jokes that I told in my stand-up?

[laughs] Yeah, not gonna happen. I know a trap when I see one.

-Same. Count me out. -Ooh! I'll go! I'll go! [clears throat] Alright.

You know how your mom's always like, "Oh! [laughs]

No, I woke up like this." Well, let me tell you--

Okay! Okay! Alright! Roast is over...

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