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1
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(gear clicking)
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00:00:01,604 --> 00:00:05,279
(film projector whirring)
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00:00:05,279 --> 00:00:06,112
(horse galloping)
4
00:00:06,112 --> 00:00:08,263
(sword rasps)
5
00:00:08,263 --> 00:00:11,430
(gentle guitar music)
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(title whooshes)
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(car whirring)
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(mouse squeaking)
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(car whirring)
10
00:01:04,195 --> 00:01:07,028
(mouse squeaking)
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♪ Shall we gather at the river ♪
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♪ Where bright angels' feet have trod ♪
13
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♪ With its crystal tide forever ♪
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♪ Flowing by the throne of God ♪
15
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♪ Yes, we'll gather at the river ♪
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♪ The beautiful, the beautiful river ♪
17
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(gentle music)
18
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- [Woman] What? Hey.
19
00:01:53,275 --> 00:01:54,305
What are you doing?
- Get out of here.
20
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(chip crunching)
- Hey.
21
00:02:06,406 --> 00:02:09,239
(mouse squeaking)
22
00:02:12,722 --> 00:02:15,305
(car whirring)
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(mouse squeaking)
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- Fear!
25
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(mouse squeaking)
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Fear ye, the Lord your God.
27
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(panel closes)
(Theus chuckles)
28
00:02:57,977 --> 00:03:00,926
You'll be cast into a lake
of fire with Satan himself,
29
00:03:00,926 --> 00:03:03,335
and there will be-
- I've been wait for you.
30
00:03:03,335 --> 00:03:06,035
Ah!
- And gnashing of teeth.
31
00:03:06,035 --> 00:03:08,897
He who even looks at a woman-
- Why does Satan want
32
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,646
to mash your teeth?
33
00:03:10,646 --> 00:03:12,732
- He's already committed adultery!
34
00:03:12,732 --> 00:03:14,543
So if your eye offends you,
35
00:03:14,543 --> 00:03:16,572
if it causes you to lust, pluck it out.
36
00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:18,460
Cast it away.
37
00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:21,333
Same thing with your nose.
38
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:22,783
- Get away from there.
39
00:03:22,783 --> 00:03:24,521
Somebody's gonna see you.
40
00:03:24,521 --> 00:03:26,972
- Your father is in rare form today.
41
00:03:26,972 --> 00:03:28,961
- Speaking of rare form,
42
00:03:28,961 --> 00:03:30,993
where'd you learn how to kiss like that?
43
00:03:30,993 --> 00:03:33,321
- Just doing what comes natural.
44
00:03:33,321 --> 00:03:34,988
- Mm. I like nature.
45
00:03:36,404 --> 00:03:37,237
(Lisa chuckles)
46
00:03:37,237 --> 00:03:39,237
- You know, the only way
47
00:03:40,815 --> 00:03:44,565
to get to eternal glory
is through sacrifice.
48
00:03:47,007 --> 00:03:48,407
Somehow, somewhere, someday,
49
00:03:48,407 --> 00:03:50,527
the good Lord is going to ask you
50
00:03:50,527 --> 00:03:54,327
maybe to make a tremendous sacrifice,
51
00:03:54,327 --> 00:03:56,807
and on that day, what will you say?
52
00:03:56,807 --> 00:03:57,841
How will you answer him?
53
00:03:57,841 --> 00:03:59,931
Will you answer him yes?
54
00:03:59,931 --> 00:04:01,582
Yes?!
55
00:04:01,582 --> 00:04:03,101
Will you answer him yes?
56
00:04:03,101 --> 00:04:04,783
- [Churchgoers] Yes.
57
00:04:04,783 --> 00:04:08,616
- I think we need to
practice sacrificing now.
58
00:04:10,446 --> 00:04:12,213
starting today.
59
00:04:12,213 --> 00:04:14,764
When the collection plate goes by,
60
00:04:14,764 --> 00:04:16,283
I want you to sacrifice
61
00:04:16,283 --> 00:04:18,658
as much as you possibly can to the Lord.
62
00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:21,089
Remember, money is the root of all evil,
63
00:04:21,089 --> 00:04:24,368
so use this opportunity to rid yourself
64
00:04:24,368 --> 00:04:27,228
of as much evil as possible.
65
00:04:27,228 --> 00:04:29,126
Remember, it is written,
66
00:04:29,126 --> 00:04:33,793
"Ask how much to give, and
you shall receive an answer."
67
00:04:34,878 --> 00:04:38,746
And, folks, Lord loves a hilarious giver,
68
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:42,308
so please, let me hear some laughter.
69
00:04:42,308 --> 00:04:43,697
Little laughter.
(churchgoers laughing)
70
00:04:43,697 --> 00:04:44,956
Don't hurt that much!
71
00:04:44,956 --> 00:04:46,711
Let me hear some laughter!
72
00:04:46,711 --> 00:04:48,138
Come on!
(churchgoers laughing)
73
00:04:48,138 --> 00:04:49,357
Come on!
74
00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:50,944
Come on!
75
00:04:50,944 --> 00:04:53,977
The Lord loves a hilarious giver!
76
00:04:53,977 --> 00:04:56,644
(rock clatters)
77
00:04:58,148 --> 00:04:59,981
I'd like to thank you.
78
00:05:00,989 --> 00:05:04,588
The Lord appreciates your generosity.
79
00:05:04,588 --> 00:05:07,832
You know, it is this spirit
of giving which enabled us
80
00:05:07,832 --> 00:05:12,517
to acquire this magnificent
stained glass window,
81
00:05:12,517 --> 00:05:15,631
imported directly from Italy.
82
00:05:15,631 --> 00:05:17,162
I'm sure we will treasure it
83
00:05:17,162 --> 00:05:21,662
for (sighs) many, many years to come.
84
00:05:22,909 --> 00:05:23,992
Amen to that.
85
00:05:26,829 --> 00:05:28,480
- Mm.
86
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:29,559
Kelly?
87
00:05:29,559 --> 00:05:30,392
- Yeah?
88
00:05:30,392 --> 00:05:31,778
- Do you know what today is?
89
00:05:31,778 --> 00:05:34,028
- I'm guessing it's Sunday.
90
00:05:34,978 --> 00:05:36,228
- Besides that.
91
00:05:37,096 --> 00:05:39,855
It's the 10-year year anniversary
of the day we first met.
92
00:05:39,855 --> 00:05:40,688
- Yeah.
93
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:44,396
- I was seven and you
were eight, remember?
94
00:05:44,396 --> 00:05:47,396
I was a bat girl in
your little league team.
95
00:05:47,396 --> 00:05:49,167
I went over to pick up a bat,
96
00:05:49,167 --> 00:05:51,178
and you were practicing your swing.
97
00:05:51,178 --> 00:05:52,885
- And I knocked out your front four teeth.
98
00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,385
- Oh, so romantic.
99
00:05:55,386 --> 00:06:00,303
- Yeah, well, if you think
that's romantic, check this out.
100
00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:04,091
- Kelly.
- It opens.
101
00:06:04,091 --> 00:06:05,998
Open it.
- It's beautiful.
102
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(Lisa laughs)
103
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I'm never going to take it off.
104
00:06:11,657 --> 00:06:13,569
I love you, Kelly Hankins.
105
00:06:13,569 --> 00:06:15,902
- And I love you, Lisa Weld.
106
00:06:18,617 --> 00:06:19,626
- Help me put it on?
107
00:06:19,626 --> 00:06:20,459
- Of course.
108
00:06:20,459 --> 00:06:21,292
- Yay.
109
00:06:23,776 --> 00:06:25,433
All right.
110
00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:27,043
- All right.
- Got it?
111
00:06:27,043 --> 00:06:27,876
- Yeah.
112
00:06:30,713 --> 00:06:34,593
- Tomorrow starts our
first day of senior year.
113
00:06:34,593 --> 00:06:35,673
- I know.
114
00:06:35,673 --> 00:06:38,844
I mean, this could be the
best year of our lives.
115
00:06:38,844 --> 00:06:41,291
- What's your favorite thing about school?
116
00:06:41,291 --> 00:06:43,084
- My favorite thing about school?
117
00:06:43,084 --> 00:06:44,855
Well, besides you?
118
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(Lisa chuckles)
119
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Baseball season.
120
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I mean, there's just something about it.
121
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You know, standing on the
mound and game's on the line,
122
00:06:56,071 --> 00:06:58,619
have a chance to be a hero.
123
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:02,600
Everyone's chanting,
"Kelly, Kelly, Kelly."
124
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,869
(both chuckling)
125
00:07:04,869 --> 00:07:05,776
(Kelly sighs)
126
00:07:05,776 --> 00:07:06,804
I know everyone's behind me,
127
00:07:06,804 --> 00:07:10,263
and (sighs) they're gonna trust
128
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,447
I'll make the right decision.
129
00:07:13,447 --> 00:07:17,364
It's just, one time, I'd
like to just reach out
130
00:07:18,447 --> 00:07:22,364
and grab that feeling
and hold onto it forever.
131
00:07:25,116 --> 00:07:27,474
- I wish I could feel that way.
132
00:07:27,474 --> 00:07:29,752
But I'd be scared to death.
133
00:07:29,752 --> 00:07:31,783
- You're scared of everything.
134
00:07:31,783 --> 00:07:34,295
- Well, don't you ever get afraid?
135
00:07:34,295 --> 00:07:35,295
- Sometimes.
136
00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:40,694
Like, does it make sense to
be afraid of being afraid?
137
00:07:41,763 --> 00:07:43,346
- What do you mean?
138
00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:47,199
- When I'm trusted to
make the big decision,
139
00:07:47,199 --> 00:07:50,743
like, the really big
decision, could I do it?
140
00:07:50,743 --> 00:07:51,826
Would I cave?
141
00:07:55,191 --> 00:07:58,191
- Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
142
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:00,513
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly.
(Lisa clapping)
143
00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:02,932
- Very funny.
(Lisa laughs)
144
00:08:02,932 --> 00:08:03,868
How about you?
145
00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:05,666
What's your favorite thing?
146
00:08:05,666 --> 00:08:06,499
- Hmm.
147
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,989
I like the dances.
148
00:08:12,529 --> 00:08:16,196
It's the only time I
can hold you in public.
149
00:08:17,125 --> 00:08:19,444
(Lisa chuckles)
150
00:08:19,444 --> 00:08:21,977
- How much longer do we
have to keep this secret?
151
00:08:21,977 --> 00:08:24,598
- Eight months, one week, and three days.
152
00:08:24,598 --> 00:08:26,015
My 18th birthday,
153
00:08:27,096 --> 00:08:30,785
the day my father finally
allows me to start dating.
154
00:08:30,785 --> 00:08:33,275
- Yeah, it feels like forever.
155
00:08:33,275 --> 00:08:36,624
I mean, you may not even love me anymore.
156
00:08:36,624 --> 00:08:39,564
I could go crazy, gain a
hundred pounds, bald, you know?
157
00:08:39,564 --> 00:08:41,314
- I'd still love you.
158
00:08:43,518 --> 00:08:45,563
- Why don't we tell your father right now?
159
00:08:45,563 --> 00:08:47,808
- That's a terrible idea.
160
00:08:47,808 --> 00:08:50,808
Then I wouldn't be allowed to
date until I was crazy, bald,
161
00:08:50,808 --> 00:08:53,538
and gained a hundred pounds.
(Kelly chuckles)
162
00:08:53,538 --> 00:08:55,788
- Well, I'd still love you.
163
00:08:57,390 --> 00:09:02,048
All right, coward, eight
months, one week, three days.
164
00:09:02,048 --> 00:09:03,628
It's a date.
165
00:09:03,628 --> 00:09:05,859
- On one condition.
166
00:09:05,859 --> 00:09:07,608
- All right.
167
00:09:07,608 --> 00:09:11,600
- On my first date, I
want to wear the biggest,
168
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,517
most beautiful pink orchid in town.
169
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,519
- I'd do anything for you.
170
00:09:18,519 --> 00:09:20,520
Anything at all.
171
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:25,353
- Well, I've got a heavy
hankering for you, Kelly Hankins.
172
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:28,939
(Lisa chuckles)
173
00:09:28,939 --> 00:09:31,522
(bell tolling)
174
00:09:34,859 --> 00:09:36,160
- [Reverend Weld] Mary, good to see you.
175
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:37,856
- You too.
- Hey, Bob.
176
00:09:37,856 --> 00:09:39,023
Pleasure, sir.
177
00:09:40,555 --> 00:09:41,909
(Reverend Weld sighs)
178
00:09:41,909 --> 00:09:43,242
Good to see you.
179
00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:46,246
And just where have you been, young lady?
180
00:09:46,246 --> 00:09:47,966
- I needed to use the bathroom.
181
00:09:47,966 --> 00:09:49,742
- Lisa, you need to
understand the importance
182
00:09:49,742 --> 00:09:51,966
of the example you set
for our young people.
183
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,177
- Yes, Daddy.
184
00:09:53,177 --> 00:09:54,086
- You...
185
00:09:54,086 --> 00:09:55,062
Hi.
186
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:56,675
Hi.
187
00:09:56,675 --> 00:09:58,735
You provide the moral guidance
188
00:09:58,735 --> 00:10:00,969
with your virtue for our entire community.
189
00:10:00,969 --> 00:10:02,747
- Yes, Daddy.
- I expect you sitting
190
00:10:02,747 --> 00:10:04,747
at the front row of every service.
191
00:10:04,747 --> 00:10:06,210
- I will be, Daddy.
192
00:10:06,210 --> 00:10:08,307
- Oh, the Hankins family.
193
00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,637
How are you, Jeff?
- Good morning, Reverend Weld.
194
00:10:09,637 --> 00:10:10,554
- Gloria.
195
00:10:10,554 --> 00:10:12,883
- [Gloria] Wonderful
sermon today, Reverend.
196
00:10:12,883 --> 00:10:14,605
- [Reverend Weld] And how are you, Jimmy?
197
00:10:14,605 --> 00:10:16,144
- [Jimmy] Just fine, sir.
198
00:10:16,144 --> 00:10:17,571
About your sermon today...
199
00:10:17,571 --> 00:10:19,123
- Yes?
- If money is the root
200
00:10:19,123 --> 00:10:22,040
of all evil, how do I fertilize it?
201
00:10:23,488 --> 00:10:25,184
- Quite the mind on this young man.
202
00:10:25,184 --> 00:10:27,787
You're quite an original thinker.
203
00:10:27,787 --> 00:10:29,099
Wonderful.
204
00:10:29,099 --> 00:10:29,932
Mm.
205
00:10:29,932 --> 00:10:34,259
Kelly, how's the arm on
Butterhill's star pitcher?
206
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:35,480
- It's great, sir. Thank you.
207
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,497
- That's good. We are all counting on you.
208
00:10:37,497 --> 00:10:39,903
Oh, this is very stylish.
209
00:10:39,903 --> 00:10:41,278
- Oh.
210
00:10:41,278 --> 00:10:42,223
It's the new style.
211
00:10:42,223 --> 00:10:43,373
You should try it, sir.
212
00:10:43,373 --> 00:10:45,431
- I think I might.
213
00:10:45,431 --> 00:10:46,765
Mm. Well, good to see you.
214
00:10:46,765 --> 00:10:50,589
- Good to see you too.
- Pleasure, sir.
215
00:10:50,589 --> 00:10:53,589
(upbeat rock music)
216
00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,054
♪ Hey, hey ♪
217
00:10:59,054 --> 00:11:00,702
♪ Whoa ♪
218
00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,531
♪ Whoa ♪
219
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:03,364
- Hey!
220
00:11:04,370 --> 00:11:05,266
I'm coming.
221
00:11:05,266 --> 00:11:10,057
♪ I'll be the one to
hold you safe and sound ♪
222
00:11:10,057 --> 00:11:11,508
Hey! Bombs away!
223
00:11:11,508 --> 00:11:12,663
- Gosh, get off me.
224
00:11:12,663 --> 00:11:14,294
- Baa!
225
00:11:14,294 --> 00:11:15,267
- Pretend like you're actually
226
00:11:15,267 --> 00:11:16,583
a normal human being for once?
227
00:11:16,583 --> 00:11:18,038
- Ah, you don't want that?
228
00:11:18,038 --> 00:11:18,871
(Ditto sighs)
- No.
229
00:11:18,871 --> 00:11:19,817
- Come here, babe.
230
00:11:19,817 --> 00:11:21,900
First day of senior year.
231
00:11:23,276 --> 00:11:24,483
Smiling?
- Yes.
232
00:11:24,483 --> 00:11:25,745
- This is for my mother.
- I know.
233
00:11:25,745 --> 00:11:26,855
- It's going on the Christmas card.
234
00:11:26,855 --> 00:11:27,895
- Okay.
235
00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:28,728
- Cheese.
236
00:11:29,695 --> 00:11:30,528
(camera snaps)
237
00:11:30,528 --> 00:11:31,520
Okay. Great.
238
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,093
Preserved for all eternity.
239
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:35,142
- Yeah.
- Oh, yes!
240
00:11:35,142 --> 00:11:36,470
I feel good all under.
241
00:11:36,470 --> 00:11:38,602
- Are you finally wearing
the right sized underwear?
242
00:11:38,602 --> 00:11:41,055
- Underwear. Underwear,
underwear, underwear.
243
00:11:41,055 --> 00:11:42,586
Nopes. Oh, well.
244
00:11:42,586 --> 00:11:45,306
More room to indulge that bulge, you know?
245
00:11:45,306 --> 00:11:46,666
- Yeah, you wish.
- You know what I'm saying?
246
00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:48,666
Walk in swinging.
247
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:51,486
All right, Ace, let's burn rubber.
248
00:11:51,486 --> 00:11:55,116
These ladies are awaiting
our glorious presence.
249
00:11:55,116 --> 00:11:55,949
Woo!
250
00:11:58,425 --> 00:12:01,719
♪ Oh, this night will never last as long ♪
251
00:12:01,719 --> 00:12:04,369
♪ As I want it to be ♪
252
00:12:04,369 --> 00:12:06,231
♪ You're crying on my shoulder ♪
253
00:12:06,231 --> 00:12:08,520
♪ Damn, I think I love her, it's true ♪
254
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,650
♪ I want you, oh ♪
255
00:12:11,650 --> 00:12:13,536
♪ And I want you ♪
256
00:12:13,536 --> 00:12:14,494
♪ But you don't ♪
257
00:12:14,494 --> 00:12:17,761
♪ See me ♪
258
00:12:17,761 --> 00:12:21,536
♪ You'll see me ♪
259
00:12:21,536 --> 00:12:24,890
♪ She's looking for her everything man ♪
260
00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:26,133
♪ But she don't notice ♪
261
00:12:26,133 --> 00:12:30,870
♪ I'm the perfect hand ♪
♪ You'll see me ♪
262
00:12:30,870 --> 00:12:34,797
♪ You'll see me ♪
263
00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:38,343
♪ But she don't notice
I'm the perfect hand ♪
264
00:12:38,343 --> 00:12:40,021
♪ Whoa ♪
265
00:12:40,021 --> 00:12:41,671
♪ Whoa ♪
266
00:12:41,671 --> 00:12:43,599
♪ Whoa ♪
267
00:12:43,599 --> 00:12:45,688
- Who's that driving the green bug?
268
00:12:45,688 --> 00:12:47,694
- That's Frankie Wilson.
269
00:12:47,694 --> 00:12:50,070
Sure is an improvement over that old van.
270
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,519
- I don't know, I mean,
you could really stretch
271
00:12:52,519 --> 00:12:54,400
your legs out in that van.
(car rumbling)
272
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:55,621
- Ooh.
273
00:12:55,621 --> 00:12:57,047
What is this?
274
00:12:57,047 --> 00:13:00,047
(upbeat rock music)
275
00:13:07,141 --> 00:13:10,112
(window whirring)
276
00:13:10,112 --> 00:13:11,744
- Hello, ladies.
277
00:13:11,744 --> 00:13:13,091
(record scratches)
- Oh.
278
00:13:13,091 --> 00:13:14,411
Well, that sucks.
279
00:13:14,411 --> 00:13:16,038
It's Milton.
280
00:13:16,038 --> 00:13:17,193
- [All] Ew.
281
00:13:17,193 --> 00:13:19,112
- Hey, there's Kelly Hankins.
282
00:13:19,112 --> 00:13:21,165
- Who's that with him?
- That's Ditto Moore.
283
00:13:21,165 --> 00:13:23,626
- [Blonde Girl] You mean Ditzo Moore.
284
00:13:23,626 --> 00:13:25,957
- [Candy] Hi, Kelly.
285
00:13:25,957 --> 00:13:26,853
- Hi, Candy.
286
00:13:26,853 --> 00:13:28,106
How was your summer?
287
00:13:28,106 --> 00:13:29,432
- Awful.
288
00:13:29,432 --> 00:13:32,314
I just stared at my phone and
prayed for a call from you,
289
00:13:32,314 --> 00:13:35,063
but my prayers went unanswered.
290
00:13:35,063 --> 00:13:37,813
- Well, I didn't have you number.
291
00:13:41,358 --> 00:13:44,025
(lips smacking)
292
00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:49,481
(girls laughing)
293
00:13:49,481 --> 00:13:51,391
- That brazen hussy.
294
00:13:51,391 --> 00:13:54,066
Like a spider waiting to devour a fly.
295
00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:55,359
Let me have that number.
296
00:13:55,359 --> 00:13:57,471
- I'll take that.
297
00:13:57,471 --> 00:13:58,711
- Like you'd know what to do with it.
298
00:13:58,711 --> 00:14:01,788
- Oh, I was this close to
scoring with those babes
299
00:14:01,788 --> 00:14:04,358
until The Hunkins ruined it.
300
00:14:04,358 --> 00:14:05,758
- Sorry to ruin your scene, Milton.
301
00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:07,397
- You always ruin my scene.
302
00:14:07,397 --> 00:14:09,886
You stole Mary Beth Barber from me.
303
00:14:09,886 --> 00:14:11,636
Kissed her right in front the flagpole.
304
00:14:11,636 --> 00:14:13,986
- Milton, that was in kindergarten.
305
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:15,094
I mean, she kissed me.
306
00:14:15,094 --> 00:14:16,367
I pushed her down. Get over it.
307
00:14:16,367 --> 00:14:18,376
- Oh, ho, ho, well, the great
308
00:14:18,376 --> 00:14:21,047
and powerful Kelly Hankins has spoken.
309
00:14:21,047 --> 00:14:23,636
Yeah, you need to take it down a notch.
310
00:14:23,636 --> 00:14:28,588
I will pull back the curtain
on you, you just wait and see.
311
00:14:28,588 --> 00:14:29,937
(Ditto chuckles)
312
00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,712
- That is one delusional hombre.
313
00:14:31,712 --> 00:14:32,545
- Yeah.
314
00:14:33,484 --> 00:14:36,189
- Oh!
- Then you say go, go!
315
00:14:36,189 --> 00:14:39,835
That's right, you right,
then you say fight, fight!
316
00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:42,714
♪ Don't say there's only one way ♪
317
00:14:42,714 --> 00:14:45,040
- Attention, students.
318
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:45,873
Attention.
319
00:14:48,079 --> 00:14:50,105
- [Cheerleaders] Then you say go, go!
320
00:14:50,105 --> 00:14:52,041
That's right, you know it!
321
00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:53,400
(cheerleaders screaming)
322
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,857
♪ I won't let you coat
me with your cliches ♪
323
00:14:55,857 --> 00:14:57,289
(Principal Miller groans)
324
00:14:57,289 --> 00:14:58,897
♪ You're doing things all the wrong ways ♪
325
00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:02,412
♪ You're doing things all the wrong ways ♪
326
00:15:02,412 --> 00:15:05,373
♪ 'Cause I'm a wanted man
in the hands of a sinner ♪
327
00:15:05,373 --> 00:15:09,024
♪ Keep myself up at night,
counting stars as I wither away ♪
328
00:15:09,024 --> 00:15:11,318
♪ Who's to say I'm crazy and messed up ♪
329
00:15:11,318 --> 00:15:12,655
(fist thuds)
330
00:15:12,655 --> 00:15:16,339
♪ Don't look down, keep
your chin up, kid ♪
331
00:15:16,339 --> 00:15:19,271
♪ 'Cause I'm more than this ♪
332
00:15:19,271 --> 00:15:20,961
- Attention.
333
00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:22,588
Is this even...
334
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,798
Attention.
335
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,390
Hoodlum, punk, gangster.
(speaker squeals)
336
00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:26,723
Oh, there we go.
337
00:15:27,771 --> 00:15:30,360
Good morning, students.
338
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,222
- Good morning, Principal Miller.
339
00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:35,472
- As many of you know, I am Mr. Miller,
340
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,029
the principal here at Butterhill High.
341
00:15:40,029 --> 00:15:42,840
And our dedicated and respected staff
342
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,451
would like to welcome you back
343
00:15:44,451 --> 00:15:49,291
to yet another year here
at your favorite school.
344
00:15:49,291 --> 00:15:53,124
And we have two new
faculty members this year.
345
00:15:53,971 --> 00:15:56,688
As a result of the
brilliant investigative work
346
00:15:56,688 --> 00:16:01,112
of our very own "Butterhill
Bulletin" reporter, Milton,
347
00:16:01,112 --> 00:16:05,945
our former practitioner, Nurse
Nancy, will not be with us,
348
00:16:06,861 --> 00:16:09,170
as her ankle monitor will not allow her
349
00:16:09,170 --> 00:16:12,098
within 200 feet of any school.
350
00:16:12,098 --> 00:16:16,431
In her place, I am pleased
to introduce Nurse Zelda.
351
00:16:17,915 --> 00:16:20,915
(Milton applauding)
352
00:16:24,095 --> 00:16:28,345
(Zelda speaks in foreign language)
353
00:16:33,878 --> 00:16:35,795
Isn't she just foreign?
354
00:16:37,508 --> 00:16:41,341
Next, a man whom words
simply cannot describe,
355
00:16:44,095 --> 00:16:46,262
Coach Franklin Dombrowski.
356
00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:50,413
(door opens)
357
00:16:50,413 --> 00:16:53,222
(whistle shrilling)
358
00:16:53,222 --> 00:16:54,222
Thank you...
359
00:16:55,168 --> 00:16:56,619
(Coach Dombrowski laughs)
360
00:16:56,619 --> 00:16:57,452
- Oh, hey.
361
00:16:59,717 --> 00:17:01,467
- Very inspirational.
362
00:17:02,687 --> 00:17:05,569
We look forward to developing you all
363
00:17:05,569 --> 00:17:09,557
into responsible, mature, young adults.
364
00:17:09,557 --> 00:17:11,797
(student farts)
365
00:17:11,797 --> 00:17:13,627
(Principal Miller sniffing)
(students laughing)
366
00:17:13,627 --> 00:17:15,085
Settle down, people.
367
00:17:15,085 --> 00:17:16,285
Settle.
368
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,118
Settle.
369
00:17:18,475 --> 00:17:22,027
And in order to start things
off on the right foot,
370
00:17:22,027 --> 00:17:26,036
the school is sponsoring a
kickoff dance this Friday!
371
00:17:26,036 --> 00:17:29,842
(students clapping)
372
00:17:29,842 --> 00:17:32,921
- And left, two, three, four.
373
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:35,704
Right, two, three, four.
374
00:17:35,704 --> 00:17:37,621
Left, two, three, four.
375
00:17:38,503 --> 00:17:41,023
Right, two, three, four.
376
00:17:41,023 --> 00:17:42,940
Left, two, three, four.
377
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,863
Right, two, three, four.
378
00:17:46,703 --> 00:17:48,536
Left two, three, four.
379
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:52,423
Right, two, three, four.
380
00:17:52,423 --> 00:17:54,340
Left, two, three, four.
381
00:17:55,182 --> 00:17:57,973
Right, two, three, four.
382
00:17:57,973 --> 00:17:59,890
Left, two, three, four.
383
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,813
Right, two, three, four.
384
00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:05,168
And that's our class for the day.
385
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,001
(students applauding)
386
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:08,299
I'll see you guys net week, all right?
387
00:18:08,299 --> 00:18:09,924
- Awesome class, Kelly.
- Thank you.
388
00:18:09,924 --> 00:18:11,284
- See you at the dance tomorrow?
389
00:18:11,284 --> 00:18:13,243
- See you.
- Can't wait.
390
00:18:13,243 --> 00:18:14,218
- Has anyone ever told you
391
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:17,264
what a sensual instructor you are?
392
00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:20,347
So strong, so tight, so many muscles.
393
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:26,883
You make my heart race even
when we're not exercising.
394
00:18:26,883 --> 00:18:28,800
- That's good, I guess.
395
00:18:29,995 --> 00:18:33,136
- So I hear your band will be
playing at the dance tomorrow?
396
00:18:33,136 --> 00:18:34,739
- Yeah. We've been practicing all summer.
397
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:36,829
It's gonna be great.
398
00:18:36,829 --> 00:18:39,634
- Will you have any time for dancing?
399
00:18:39,634 --> 00:18:41,378
- Yeah. Yeah, in between songs.
400
00:18:41,378 --> 00:18:42,750
It'll be fun.
401
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:45,819
- Well, I'll be sure to
save a dance for you,
402
00:18:45,819 --> 00:18:47,486
and much, much more.
403
00:18:55,121 --> 00:18:59,288
- Mm, mm, mm, mm.
(Ditto clapping)
404
00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:01,788
Spider bait.
405
00:19:01,788 --> 00:19:05,001
- Yeah, well, she's
gonna to starve to death.
406
00:19:05,001 --> 00:19:07,084
- Hey, no comprendo, Ace.
407
00:19:08,079 --> 00:19:09,871
What are you waiting on?
408
00:19:09,871 --> 00:19:12,788
Board that ship before she sets sail.
409
00:19:12,788 --> 00:19:15,260
- Ditto, can you keep a secret?
410
00:19:15,260 --> 00:19:16,216
- Moi?
411
00:19:16,216 --> 00:19:17,664
The king of conceal?
412
00:19:17,664 --> 00:19:19,405
They would poke my eyes out
413
00:19:19,405 --> 00:19:22,754
with toothpicks before I
would give you up, man.
414
00:19:22,754 --> 00:19:23,914
Spill it!
415
00:19:23,914 --> 00:19:25,497
- Lisa and I are...
416
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,432
We're more than friends.
417
00:19:29,413 --> 00:19:30,443
- "More"?
418
00:19:30,443 --> 00:19:31,694
- Yeah.
419
00:19:31,694 --> 00:19:32,591
- How much more?
420
00:19:32,591 --> 00:19:34,301
- Well, we're in love.
421
00:19:34,301 --> 00:19:37,051
- Oh, dude, you cannot touch her.
422
00:19:38,619 --> 00:19:40,599
She is the preacher's daughter.
423
00:19:40,599 --> 00:19:42,137
- I know.
- He's gonna get God
424
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:44,429
to cast down a lightning bolt on you.
425
00:19:44,429 --> 00:19:45,848
- I know.
426
00:19:45,848 --> 00:19:47,767
Look, we've been secretly
dating, all right?
427
00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:49,163
She's on the strictly restricted list.
428
00:19:49,163 --> 00:19:51,064
Do not open till 18.
429
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:52,984
- Estimated time of arrival?
430
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:54,212
- Eight months, six days.
431
00:19:54,212 --> 00:19:56,300
- Ah, that could explain
the lack of interest
432
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:57,679
in Candy and company.
433
00:19:57,679 --> 00:19:58,599
Ouch.
434
00:19:58,599 --> 00:19:59,558
(Ditto exhales)
435
00:19:59,558 --> 00:20:01,666
I'd have trouble keeping that secret.
436
00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:03,533
- You have trouble keeping
your underwear a secret.
437
00:20:03,533 --> 00:20:04,952
- Oh?
438
00:20:04,952 --> 00:20:06,191
All right.
439
00:20:06,191 --> 00:20:07,805
We're going to play hit and run.
440
00:20:07,805 --> 00:20:09,375
When Candy comes onto you,
441
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,816
I'll pinch hit while you run away.
442
00:20:11,816 --> 00:20:12,649
- You're all heart, Ditto.
443
00:20:12,649 --> 00:20:13,714
(Ditto laughs)
444
00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:15,034
- Absolutely, bud.
445
00:20:15,034 --> 00:20:17,017
What are friends for?
446
00:20:17,017 --> 00:20:19,186
(lively rock music)
447
00:20:19,186 --> 00:20:22,302
♪ Ooh ♪
448
00:20:22,302 --> 00:20:26,401
♪ Ooh ♪
449
00:20:26,401 --> 00:20:30,018
♪ Yeah ♪
450
00:20:30,018 --> 00:20:34,686
♪ Yeah ♪
451
00:20:34,686 --> 00:20:38,224
♪ Ooh ♪
452
00:20:38,224 --> 00:20:42,854
♪ Ooh ♪
453
00:20:42,854 --> 00:20:46,014
♪ Ever since she walked by ♪
454
00:20:46,014 --> 00:20:50,572
♪ Those jeans are on my mind, it's true ♪
455
00:20:50,572 --> 00:20:55,323
♪ Oh, it's true ♪
456
00:20:55,323 --> 00:20:57,573
♪ I'm hooked, I'm hypnotized ♪
457
00:20:57,573 --> 00:21:02,573
♪ She's voodoo with big,
blue eyes, it's true ♪
458
00:21:02,985 --> 00:21:06,973
♪ So true ♪
459
00:21:06,973 --> 00:21:10,331
♪ She's every thought, she's every word ♪
460
00:21:10,331 --> 00:21:13,063
♪ If I could sleep, I'd dream of her ♪
461
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,773
♪ I'm hit ♪
462
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,022
♪ Going down in flames ♪
463
00:21:17,022 --> 00:21:19,262
♪ Tail spinning, she's to blame ♪
464
00:21:19,262 --> 00:21:20,971
♪ I'm hit ♪
465
00:21:20,971 --> 00:21:22,931
♪ I'm outta control ♪
466
00:21:22,931 --> 00:21:25,483
♪ Falling in love,
falling hard, you know ♪
467
00:21:25,483 --> 00:21:27,225
♪ I'm hit ♪
468
00:21:27,225 --> 00:21:29,454
♪ Going down in flames ♪
469
00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:32,265
♪ Shell-shocked, and
I can't see straight ♪
470
00:21:32,265 --> 00:21:35,791
♪ Other girls are miles below her ♪
471
00:21:35,791 --> 00:21:40,451
♪ I'm hit, and it's game over ♪
472
00:21:40,451 --> 00:21:45,001
- Nurse Zelda, may I
offer you a cup of punch?
473
00:21:45,001 --> 00:21:46,866
- Is it spiked?
474
00:21:46,866 --> 00:21:47,862
- What? No, no.
475
00:21:47,862 --> 00:21:50,279
No, no, no. I made it myself.
476
00:21:51,441 --> 00:21:53,833
- Oh, pass-a-rooni.
477
00:21:53,833 --> 00:21:55,420
- Are you sure?
478
00:21:55,420 --> 00:21:58,039
My exotic blend of papaya, mango,
479
00:21:58,039 --> 00:22:00,978
and the guava are temptingly delightful,
480
00:22:00,978 --> 00:22:03,682
with a splash of passion
fruit that'll curl your toes.
481
00:22:03,682 --> 00:22:04,515
What?
482
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:08,500
- Why, Principal Miller,
483
00:22:11,780 --> 00:22:14,113
are you trying to seduce me?
484
00:22:20,071 --> 00:22:21,474
(hand slaps)
485
00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:22,307
- God, no.
486
00:22:23,882 --> 00:22:25,210
Perish the thought.
487
00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:28,210
I just thought you might be thirsty.
488
00:22:31,103 --> 00:22:32,270
- Okay, Daddy.
489
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:37,354
(Lisa coughing)
490
00:22:41,077 --> 00:22:43,827
(toilet flushes)
491
00:23:00,443 --> 00:23:02,782
♪ She stole my world ♪
492
00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:05,012
♪ If only she were my girl ♪
493
00:23:05,012 --> 00:23:08,416
♪ She's every thought, she's every word ♪
494
00:23:08,416 --> 00:23:11,195
♪ If I could sleep, I'd dream of her ♪
495
00:23:11,195 --> 00:23:12,795
♪ I'm hit ♪
496
00:23:12,795 --> 00:23:14,864
♪ She's too delicious ♪
497
00:23:14,864 --> 00:23:17,985
♪ Burning for her bright red kisses ♪
498
00:23:17,985 --> 00:23:21,303
♪ Got to tell her, I know I should ♪
499
00:23:21,303 --> 00:23:23,665
♪ 'Cause I'm hit, and I'm hit for good ♪
500
00:23:23,665 --> 00:23:25,832
♪ I'm hit ♪
501
00:23:37,614 --> 00:23:41,174
♪ And it's game over ♪
502
00:23:41,174 --> 00:23:44,630
(students cheering)
503
00:23:44,630 --> 00:23:45,851
- Oh, you guys are great!
504
00:23:45,851 --> 00:23:49,184
Gonna take a break. We'll be right back.
505
00:23:50,198 --> 00:23:52,326
- Okay, ladies, get in line.
506
00:23:52,326 --> 00:23:57,326
The Ditto-meister is now accepting
reservations for romance.
507
00:23:59,395 --> 00:24:01,463
How soon they forget a hero.
508
00:24:01,463 --> 00:24:03,629
These small town girls don't
know what they're missing.
509
00:24:03,629 --> 00:24:05,509
(Kelly chuckles)
510
00:24:05,509 --> 00:24:06,621
- [Kelly] Striking out
over there, aren't you?
511
00:24:06,621 --> 00:24:09,017
- Oh, one, two, and three.
512
00:24:09,017 --> 00:24:09,929
- [Kelly] Here, drown your sorrows.
513
00:24:09,929 --> 00:24:11,978
- Yeah, thank you.
514
00:24:11,978 --> 00:24:13,116
Mm.
515
00:24:13,116 --> 00:24:14,699
Ugh, disgustamundo.
516
00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:19,325
Here we go. Just what the doctor ordered.
517
00:24:19,325 --> 00:24:22,386
Some for me.
(alcohol splashing)
518
00:24:22,386 --> 00:24:23,358
Hey.
519
00:24:23,358 --> 00:24:25,252
Some for you.
(alcohol splashing)
520
00:24:25,252 --> 00:24:29,050
Some for the punch bowl too.
(alcohol splashing)
521
00:24:29,050 --> 00:24:32,140
Know what? Let's lower your
standards just a little bit.
522
00:24:32,140 --> 00:24:34,097
There we go. Great.
523
00:24:34,097 --> 00:24:36,680
(upbeat music)
524
00:24:40,126 --> 00:24:41,289
- [Kelly] May I have this dance?
525
00:24:41,289 --> 00:24:43,372
- Mm, my Prince Charming.
526
00:24:44,487 --> 00:24:47,154
Where have you been all my life?
527
00:24:50,354 --> 00:24:51,767
- Ah!
(girl yelps)
528
00:24:51,767 --> 00:24:53,767
All right, come with me.
529
00:24:58,866 --> 00:25:00,033
- Nurse Zelda.
530
00:25:01,457 --> 00:25:02,290
- Captain.
531
00:25:09,996 --> 00:25:12,913
This is very tasty punch indeed.
532
00:25:12,913 --> 00:25:17,163
I think I will have one or
two or 16 more of these.
533
00:25:18,733 --> 00:25:21,213
- Well, I'm happy it pleases you.
534
00:25:21,213 --> 00:25:23,933
I can give you the secret recipe.
535
00:25:23,933 --> 00:25:26,600
- Oh, well, give it to me, baby.
536
00:25:29,431 --> 00:25:30,931
I gots to have it.
537
00:25:32,122 --> 00:25:34,122
Like bear on water skis.
538
00:25:36,617 --> 00:25:37,867
♪ Freakin' in the Land of Phat ♪
539
00:25:37,867 --> 00:25:41,241
♪ Bow bow bow jiggy dom
jiggy da bay da bay ♪
540
00:25:41,241 --> 00:25:44,217
- Nurse Zelda, do we have an ill student
541
00:25:44,217 --> 00:25:46,615
out there on the floor?
542
00:25:46,615 --> 00:25:48,423
- How would I know?
543
00:25:48,423 --> 00:25:52,058
♪ Ba bow ba jiggy da bay da bay ♪
544
00:25:52,058 --> 00:25:54,516
- Bear on water skis.
545
00:25:54,516 --> 00:25:57,221
(gentle music)
546
00:25:57,221 --> 00:26:00,654
♪ Where have you been
since the last time ♪
547
00:26:00,654 --> 00:26:03,861
- So what did you think of the band?
548
00:26:03,861 --> 00:26:04,694
- It was fine.
549
00:26:04,694 --> 00:26:08,064
♪ I'll wish you well ♪
550
00:26:08,064 --> 00:26:13,064
♪ Once you tell me if
Juniper's here to stay ♪
551
00:26:13,857 --> 00:26:15,979
- Having a good time?
552
00:26:15,979 --> 00:26:17,229
- [Lisa] Mm-hm.
553
00:26:23,030 --> 00:26:26,280
- Really, Lisa, let's not hog the hunk.
554
00:26:27,670 --> 00:26:32,587
♪ Proved Juniper would
not remain for long ♪
555
00:26:33,969 --> 00:26:34,865
(punch splashing)
556
00:26:34,865 --> 00:26:39,865
♪ Through the rain, we cooled your pain ♪
557
00:26:41,619 --> 00:26:43,497
♪ But life is only ♪
558
00:26:43,497 --> 00:26:48,497
♪ What it's worth to Juniper ♪
(hand slaps)
559
00:26:53,315 --> 00:26:58,315
♪ Hey, Juniper ♪
560
00:26:59,656 --> 00:27:04,573
♪ Still match the picture
in my mind's eye ♪
561
00:27:09,016 --> 00:27:10,715
- [Kelly] Ditto?
562
00:27:10,715 --> 00:27:11,602
Ditto.
563
00:27:11,602 --> 00:27:15,160
- You're an exquisite dancer, and so sexy.
564
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:16,869
(Candy chuckles)
- Hit and run, Ditto.
565
00:27:16,869 --> 00:27:19,196
Ditto, hit and run.
566
00:27:19,196 --> 00:27:21,538
- Looks like Hankins is
moving in on your territory.
567
00:27:21,538 --> 00:27:23,087
- Yeah, dude, he's putting a squeeze
568
00:27:23,087 --> 00:27:24,260
on your grapefruits, man.
569
00:27:24,260 --> 00:27:25,669
- Yeah. Go get him.
570
00:27:25,669 --> 00:27:27,100
(long-haired boy chuckles)
571
00:27:27,100 --> 00:27:30,873
Yeah.
(hands slapping)
572
00:27:30,873 --> 00:27:32,243
- Hi, Bronco.
573
00:27:32,243 --> 00:27:33,203
How's algebra going?
574
00:27:33,203 --> 00:27:34,255
Ditto?!
575
00:27:34,255 --> 00:27:35,088
(Bronco grunts)
(punch thuds)
576
00:27:35,088 --> 00:27:35,921
- Four.
577
00:27:35,921 --> 00:27:37,171
Five.
578
00:27:37,171 --> 00:27:38,004
Six.
579
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,473
Seven.
580
00:27:43,260 --> 00:27:44,093
Two.
581
00:27:46,531 --> 00:27:47,364
Oh, darn.
582
00:27:48,430 --> 00:27:50,720
I keep losing count.
583
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,053
How about we take your temperature, yes?
584
00:27:59,102 --> 00:27:59,935
Oof.
585
00:28:04,238 --> 00:28:06,440
The old-fashioned way.
586
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,554
- I'm feeling much better now.
587
00:28:08,554 --> 00:28:10,637
- You are no fun, at all.
588
00:28:17,170 --> 00:28:19,753
I'm going to take two aspirins,
589
00:28:20,770 --> 00:28:23,158
and you call me in the morning.
590
00:28:23,158 --> 00:28:26,075
I've got some booty twerking to do.
591
00:28:44,085 --> 00:28:45,486
- Are you all right?
592
00:28:45,486 --> 00:28:46,689
- I'm fine.
593
00:28:46,689 --> 00:28:49,841
Surprised he didn't break
his hand on my abs of steal.
594
00:28:49,841 --> 00:28:51,510
What? That was funny.
595
00:28:51,510 --> 00:28:55,260
- I'm just not much in
the mood for laughing.
596
00:28:56,881 --> 00:28:58,631
- What's wrong, Lisa?
597
00:28:59,912 --> 00:29:01,662
- I've got a problem.
598
00:29:02,593 --> 00:29:04,732
A growing problem.
599
00:29:04,732 --> 00:29:06,345
- I don't get it.
600
00:29:06,345 --> 00:29:10,012
- Do you prefer cloth
or disposable diapers?
601
00:29:12,643 --> 00:29:13,666
- Are you saying that...
602
00:29:13,666 --> 00:29:16,749
(gentle piano music)
603
00:29:22,204 --> 00:29:23,621
I love you, Lisa.
604
00:29:24,844 --> 00:29:26,872
I love you, and I'll love our baby.
605
00:29:26,872 --> 00:29:28,289
- And I love you.
606
00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:31,821
But I'm scared.
607
00:29:31,821 --> 00:29:34,710
I'm scared of what the town might think,
608
00:29:34,710 --> 00:29:38,839
and what all the other kids are gonna say.
609
00:29:38,839 --> 00:29:43,331
And most of all, I'm scared
of what my dad's gonna do.
610
00:29:43,331 --> 00:29:44,734
(Lisa sighs)
611
00:29:44,734 --> 00:29:46,234
I'm scared for us.
612
00:29:47,732 --> 00:29:49,983
I just got to disappear.
613
00:29:49,983 --> 00:29:53,751
- Lisa, you're not leaving
me, not now, not ever.
614
00:29:53,751 --> 00:29:55,212
I mean, sure, we made a mistake,
615
00:29:55,212 --> 00:29:57,943
but everybody makes mistakes.
616
00:29:57,943 --> 00:30:01,360
I promise, I will come up with something.
617
00:30:02,292 --> 00:30:03,433
- Really?
618
00:30:03,433 --> 00:30:06,372
- I've always wanted to be
your knight in shining armor.
619
00:30:06,372 --> 00:30:08,205
Just give me a chance.
620
00:30:10,772 --> 00:30:14,254
(upbeat rock music)
621
00:30:14,254 --> 00:30:15,087
(students cheering)
622
00:30:15,087 --> 00:30:16,194
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
623
00:30:16,194 --> 00:30:17,111
Whoa. Whoa.
624
00:30:19,652 --> 00:30:20,652
Nurse Zelda!
625
00:30:25,252 --> 00:30:26,681
(students gasping)
626
00:30:26,681 --> 00:30:28,348
I cannot unsee that.
627
00:30:35,836 --> 00:30:36,855
- [Kelly] Can't believe your dad gave you
628
00:30:36,855 --> 00:30:38,628
a key to this place.
629
00:30:38,628 --> 00:30:39,940
- He didn't give me a key.
630
00:30:39,940 --> 00:30:41,670
I wouldn't give me a key.
631
00:30:41,670 --> 00:30:43,003
I forged a copy.
632
00:30:45,470 --> 00:30:46,518
- [Kelly] So your dad doesn't know we raid
633
00:30:46,518 --> 00:30:47,655
this place every night?
634
00:30:47,655 --> 00:30:49,444
- Well, sure he knows.
635
00:30:49,444 --> 00:30:51,084
He keeps a tab.
636
00:30:51,084 --> 00:30:53,172
I'm in debt for life.
637
00:30:53,172 --> 00:30:55,505
- He doesn't kick your butt?
638
00:30:56,343 --> 00:31:00,194
- How could you kick a
butt with a face like this?
639
00:31:00,194 --> 00:31:03,892
So, how are you feeling after
that first round knockout?
640
00:31:03,892 --> 00:31:04,956
- Hit and run, huh?
641
00:31:04,956 --> 00:31:06,306
I get hit, you run?
642
00:31:06,306 --> 00:31:08,006
Your little error almost cost me the game.
643
00:31:08,006 --> 00:31:10,564
- That was not my fault.
644
00:31:10,564 --> 00:31:13,564
She had me under some sort of spell.
645
00:31:16,416 --> 00:31:18,259
I promise it won't happen again.
646
00:31:18,259 --> 00:31:19,819
(Kelly sighs)
647
00:31:19,819 --> 00:31:22,347
- It's nothing compared to
the blow Lisa laid on me.
648
00:31:22,347 --> 00:31:23,180
- Oh.
649
00:31:23,180 --> 00:31:24,013
(Ditto chuckles)
650
00:31:24,013 --> 00:31:25,346
Something juicy?
651
00:31:26,633 --> 00:31:28,561
(Kelly chuckles)
652
00:31:28,561 --> 00:31:30,358
- I mean, you'll probably find out.
653
00:31:30,358 --> 00:31:33,207
I mean, the whole school
will probably find out.
654
00:31:33,207 --> 00:31:34,810
(Kelly sighs)
655
00:31:34,810 --> 00:31:36,227
Lisa and I are...
656
00:31:37,739 --> 00:31:40,538
Lisa and I are gonna have a baby.
657
00:31:40,538 --> 00:31:42,877
(Ditto chokes)
658
00:31:42,877 --> 00:31:45,307
(Ditto coughing)
659
00:31:45,307 --> 00:31:46,408
- A baby what?
660
00:31:46,408 --> 00:31:47,979
- What do you mean, "A baby what"?
661
00:31:47,979 --> 00:31:49,048
A baby, baby.
662
00:31:49,048 --> 00:31:52,739
You know, a pooping,
wetting, wah, wah, wah baby.
663
00:31:52,739 --> 00:31:54,734
- I hate to break it you,
664
00:31:54,734 --> 00:31:56,781
but this is gonna put a definite strain
665
00:31:56,781 --> 00:31:57,912
on your dating secret.
666
00:31:57,912 --> 00:31:59,189
- I've got to think of something fast.
667
00:31:59,189 --> 00:32:01,520
I mean, if I don't, Lisa's
father's gonna ship her off
668
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,297
to some convent in Mongolia.
669
00:32:03,297 --> 00:32:04,238
And, I mean, I doubt I'll be doing
670
00:32:04,238 --> 00:32:06,736
any pitching from a body cast.
671
00:32:06,736 --> 00:32:09,065
- How about if we try to disguise Lisa?
672
00:32:09,065 --> 00:32:10,095
- That won't work.
673
00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:13,463
Girls always know. They
have that baby sonar thing.
674
00:32:13,463 --> 00:32:14,495
I've got to come up with something
675
00:32:14,495 --> 00:32:16,945
no one's ever gonna figure out.
676
00:32:16,945 --> 00:32:21,504
(siren wailing)
(Kelly sighs)
677
00:32:21,504 --> 00:32:23,723
- [Theus] Rapunzel!
678
00:32:23,723 --> 00:32:24,556
Rapunzel!
679
00:32:27,803 --> 00:32:29,879
Let down your long hair!
680
00:32:29,879 --> 00:32:32,620
(gentle music)
681
00:32:32,620 --> 00:32:33,840
- [Kelly] Hey, Uncle Theus.
682
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,251
When'd you get the cool wheels?
683
00:32:36,251 --> 00:32:37,110
- This morning.
684
00:32:37,110 --> 00:32:37,963
(Theus chuckles)
685
00:32:37,963 --> 00:32:39,245
Ain't she a beaut?
- Yeah.
686
00:32:39,245 --> 00:32:42,315
- My other car would make me look bad.
687
00:32:42,315 --> 00:32:44,565
So, where's my kid brother?
688
00:32:45,413 --> 00:32:47,504
I need to experiment on him again.
689
00:32:47,504 --> 00:32:48,907
- [Kelly] He took Jimmy and Mom fishing.
690
00:32:48,907 --> 00:32:50,331
They should be gone all day.
691
00:32:50,331 --> 00:32:52,358
- What? Gadzooks!
692
00:32:52,358 --> 00:32:55,007
I distinctly told him I'd
be by Sunday afternoon.
693
00:32:55,007 --> 00:32:56,007
- Today's Saturday.
694
00:32:56,007 --> 00:32:57,509
- Saturday? Are you sure?
695
00:32:57,509 --> 00:32:59,618
- Yeah.
- Okay, what was yesterday?
696
00:32:59,618 --> 00:33:01,117
- Friday.
- Tomorrow?
697
00:33:01,117 --> 00:33:02,319
- Sunday.
698
00:33:02,319 --> 00:33:03,868
- What will it be a week from today?
699
00:33:03,868 --> 00:33:05,201
- Saturday.
- Ah!
700
00:33:06,077 --> 00:33:07,305
My god, it is Saturday.
701
00:33:07,305 --> 00:33:09,484
This is disastrous. Everything's ready.
702
00:33:09,484 --> 00:33:10,570
- Ready for what?
703
00:33:10,570 --> 00:33:13,477
- Well, the greatest
discovery known to mankind.
704
00:33:13,477 --> 00:33:14,885
Greater than the wheel,
greater than flight,
705
00:33:14,885 --> 00:33:16,678
greater than peanut butter.
706
00:33:16,678 --> 00:33:18,679
Now, listen, I've discovered
707
00:33:18,679 --> 00:33:21,009
how to transfer unlimited
gigaflops of yobibytes
708
00:33:21,009 --> 00:33:25,498
directly into the cerebral
cortex, resulting in...
709
00:33:25,498 --> 00:33:27,506
Well, it's really cool.
710
00:33:27,506 --> 00:33:29,154
Uh, maybe.
711
00:33:29,154 --> 00:33:30,584
- "Maybe"?
712
00:33:30,584 --> 00:33:31,417
"Maybe" what?
713
00:33:31,417 --> 00:33:34,657
- Well, that's why I need my guinea...
714
00:33:34,657 --> 00:33:36,240
I need your father.
715
00:33:37,604 --> 00:33:39,937
I need somebody to volunteer
716
00:33:41,724 --> 00:33:44,224
to do my experiment on.
717
00:33:44,224 --> 00:33:45,863
- Is it painful?
718
00:33:45,863 --> 00:33:47,468
- Oh, no, no, no, no. No pain whatsoever.
719
00:33:47,468 --> 00:33:49,218
Absolutely pain-free.
720
00:33:50,118 --> 00:33:53,621
At least none of the
mouses complained about it.
721
00:33:53,621 --> 00:33:55,159
- I'll volunteer.
722
00:33:55,159 --> 00:33:56,504
- You will?
- Yeah.
723
00:33:56,504 --> 00:34:00,530
- Oh, you'd be doing a
huge service to mankind.
724
00:34:00,530 --> 00:34:03,049
Not to mention boosting
your grade point average.
725
00:34:03,049 --> 00:34:04,409
- Hm.
726
00:34:04,409 --> 00:34:07,067
- I could never repay you.
727
00:34:07,067 --> 00:34:08,070
- Can I bring Ditto?
728
00:34:08,070 --> 00:34:09,868
- Absolutely. Yes.
729
00:34:09,868 --> 00:34:12,888
Let him witness history in the making.
730
00:34:12,888 --> 00:34:14,388
- All right, cool.
731
00:34:15,722 --> 00:34:16,867
I think I have to go to the bathroom.
732
00:34:16,867 --> 00:34:18,275
- Oh, no, no, no.
733
00:34:18,275 --> 00:34:20,804
We're ready to begin.
734
00:34:20,804 --> 00:34:22,114
All there.
735
00:34:22,114 --> 00:34:23,515
Okay, when I flip this switch,
736
00:34:23,515 --> 00:34:26,209
you're gonna become a human computer chip.
737
00:34:26,209 --> 00:34:27,042
Okay.
738
00:34:28,035 --> 00:34:29,232
Before...
739
00:34:29,232 --> 00:34:31,623
Well, you put this in your mouth.
740
00:34:31,623 --> 00:34:34,200
It's gonna prevent you
from biting your tongue.
741
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:35,033
All right?
742
00:34:35,033 --> 00:34:36,370
- Okay.
- Mm.
743
00:34:36,370 --> 00:34:37,945
Mm? Mm?
744
00:34:37,945 --> 00:34:38,871
Mm?
745
00:34:38,871 --> 00:34:39,760
Okay.
- Okay.
746
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:41,392
- [Theus] All right.
747
00:34:41,392 --> 00:34:42,589
Okay. Ready?
748
00:34:42,589 --> 00:34:43,422
Count!
749
00:34:44,418 --> 00:34:45,349
- Five!
750
00:34:45,349 --> 00:34:46,325
Four!
751
00:34:46,325 --> 00:34:47,326
Three!
752
00:34:47,326 --> 00:34:48,333
Two!
753
00:34:48,333 --> 00:34:49,490
One!
(switch clicks)
754
00:34:49,490 --> 00:34:53,073
Blastoff!
(machine buzzing)
755
00:34:54,305 --> 00:34:56,167
- Work, baby. Work, baby.
756
00:34:56,167 --> 00:34:57,204
Work, baby.
757
00:34:57,204 --> 00:34:58,473
Work, baby.
758
00:34:58,473 --> 00:35:00,251
(alarm wailing)
759
00:35:00,251 --> 00:35:02,918
(switch clicks)
760
00:35:07,513 --> 00:35:09,161
What's your name?
761
00:35:09,161 --> 00:35:10,729
- Kelly Hankins.
762
00:35:10,729 --> 00:35:11,923
(Theus chuckles)
763
00:35:11,923 --> 00:35:12,951
- It worked.
764
00:35:12,951 --> 00:35:15,451
What's the square root of 976?
765
00:35:18,041 --> 00:35:19,291
- I don't know.
766
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,510
I really don't feel any different.
767
00:35:22,510 --> 00:35:24,093
- No new knowledge?
768
00:35:24,967 --> 00:35:26,984
- At least I didn't lose any.
769
00:35:26,984 --> 00:35:28,966
- [Ditto] Hey. What's this?
770
00:35:28,966 --> 00:35:31,164
- Ah!
(plant snaps)
771
00:35:31,164 --> 00:35:33,354
Don't touch that.
(hand slaps)
772
00:35:33,354 --> 00:35:36,743
That is a super hybrid of a Venus flytrap,
773
00:35:36,743 --> 00:35:40,281
only it doesn't stop
at eating just insects.
774
00:35:40,281 --> 00:35:42,248
(Theus groaning)
775
00:35:42,248 --> 00:35:43,921
- Sorry.
- Yeah.
776
00:35:43,921 --> 00:35:45,893
(monkey squeaking)
- Hey, little fella.
777
00:35:45,893 --> 00:35:47,657
Hey, Uncle Theus, who's this?
778
00:35:47,657 --> 00:35:48,490
- Don't.
779
00:35:49,856 --> 00:35:50,689
That?
780
00:35:50,689 --> 00:35:52,272
That, that is Adam,
781
00:35:53,874 --> 00:35:56,493
my most extraordinary experiment.
782
00:35:56,493 --> 00:35:58,264
- [Kelly] He looks pretty normal to me.
783
00:35:58,264 --> 00:36:01,148
- Oh, he is, except for
one very important detail.
784
00:36:01,148 --> 00:36:03,947
He is gonna have a baby.
785
00:36:03,947 --> 00:36:04,948
(Theus chuckles)
786
00:36:04,948 --> 00:36:06,460
- Adam's gonna have a baby?
- Yeah.
787
00:36:06,460 --> 00:36:07,860
(Theus chuckles)
788
00:36:07,860 --> 00:36:09,290
- [Kelly] That's impossible.
789
00:36:09,290 --> 00:36:13,149
- Well, it may not be as
crazy as you may think.
790
00:36:13,149 --> 00:36:16,370
There have been dozens of documented cases
791
00:36:16,370 --> 00:36:20,080
of women carrying babies in
their abdominal cavities.
792
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,580
All right? So, why not a male?
793
00:36:23,548 --> 00:36:26,170
- How did he even get
pregnant in the first place?
794
00:36:26,170 --> 00:36:27,587
- Well, by Tweet.
795
00:36:29,498 --> 00:36:30,720
- [Kelly] Tweet?
796
00:36:30,720 --> 00:36:32,130
I don't understand.
797
00:36:32,130 --> 00:36:33,680
- Yeah, you never will understand.
798
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,001
I barely understand myself.
799
00:36:36,001 --> 00:36:36,908
Tweet.
800
00:36:36,908 --> 00:36:40,703
Tweet stands for Theus
workable easy embryo transfer.
801
00:36:40,703 --> 00:36:42,879
No muss, no fuss. No pain whatsoever.
802
00:36:42,879 --> 00:36:44,378
- Yeah, I've heard that before.
803
00:36:44,378 --> 00:36:46,295
Are you sure it's safe?
804
00:36:47,644 --> 00:36:49,330
- Are you doubting the work of a genius
805
00:36:49,330 --> 00:36:52,149
with double your IQ, triple his?
806
00:36:52,149 --> 00:36:54,316
I give you proof positive.
807
00:36:56,498 --> 00:37:00,581
- Uncle Theus, can that
be done to a human being?
808
00:37:01,498 --> 00:37:03,748
- Well, theoretically, yes,
809
00:37:04,967 --> 00:37:08,895
but, you know, there are dangers involved.
810
00:37:08,895 --> 00:37:10,295
- What kind of dangers?
811
00:37:10,295 --> 00:37:13,944
- Well, the danger that
the embryo will not attach,
812
00:37:13,944 --> 00:37:18,082
the danger of removing the mature fetus,
813
00:37:18,082 --> 00:37:21,749
most importantly, the
danger to the carrier.
814
00:37:23,289 --> 00:37:26,956
Any misstep along the
way could prove fatal.
815
00:37:29,122 --> 00:37:30,205
- [Kelly] Hm.
816
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:35,957
- I don't know, Kelly.
817
00:37:35,957 --> 00:37:36,790
- I do.
818
00:37:36,790 --> 00:37:37,866
- But what if-
- It won't.
819
00:37:37,866 --> 00:37:39,699
- But can you-
- I can.
820
00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:44,097
- Is this some sorta new teenage rap?
821
00:37:44,097 --> 00:37:46,539
- You know, Uncle Theus,
you said you'd never be able
822
00:37:46,539 --> 00:37:48,127
to repay me for that experiment.
823
00:37:48,127 --> 00:37:49,377
- That's right.
824
00:37:50,709 --> 00:37:53,209
- I know how you can repay me.
825
00:37:57,178 --> 00:37:58,956
- What in the heck?
826
00:37:58,956 --> 00:38:00,219
Get up!
827
00:38:00,219 --> 00:38:01,399
I'm the principal!
828
00:38:01,399 --> 00:38:03,316
I'm the principal here!
829
00:38:04,319 --> 00:38:05,152
Oh.
830
00:38:06,699 --> 00:38:08,669
I wanted a beaver.
831
00:38:08,669 --> 00:38:12,752
Milton, I assume you are
taking up valuable space
832
00:38:13,909 --> 00:38:16,749
in my office for a reason.
833
00:38:16,749 --> 00:38:18,037
What have you got for me?
834
00:38:18,037 --> 00:38:20,620
(mellow music)
835
00:38:24,237 --> 00:38:27,154
Sucking face in the janitor's room,
836
00:38:28,873 --> 00:38:30,873
smoking in the lavatory,
837
00:38:32,474 --> 00:38:34,355
beer cans in the bushes?
838
00:38:34,355 --> 00:38:36,346
- Having them dusted for prints now.
839
00:38:36,346 --> 00:38:37,929
- And spiked punch?
840
00:38:39,456 --> 00:38:41,123
That explains a lot.
841
00:38:42,905 --> 00:38:46,226
Milton, I want to commend you.
842
00:38:46,226 --> 00:38:50,197
Your keen sense of investigative snitchery
843
00:38:50,197 --> 00:38:51,947
has reached new lows.
844
00:38:52,946 --> 00:38:54,945
You may now stand at ease.
845
00:38:54,945 --> 00:38:56,176
- Thank you, sir.
846
00:38:56,176 --> 00:38:58,413
May I say, it's an honor to serve on board
847
00:38:58,413 --> 00:39:01,263
the same ship with you as her commander.
848
00:39:01,263 --> 00:39:02,513
- Yes, you may.
849
00:39:04,218 --> 00:39:05,723
- Uh.
850
00:39:05,723 --> 00:39:07,742
Again, it's an honor to serve on board
851
00:39:07,742 --> 00:39:09,493
the same ship with you as her commander.
852
00:39:09,493 --> 00:39:10,493
- Thank you!
853
00:39:11,785 --> 00:39:15,118
Milton, you are a credit to your school,
854
00:39:16,050 --> 00:39:18,300
and a valuable asset to me.
855
00:39:19,539 --> 00:39:21,948
I want you to step up
your efforts to uncover
856
00:39:21,948 --> 00:39:25,615
these offensive everyday
teenage activities.
857
00:39:27,101 --> 00:39:29,299
Keep your eyes open and your ears perked
858
00:39:29,299 --> 00:39:32,132
for any rumor of deviant behavior.
859
00:39:37,567 --> 00:39:38,400
- Okay.
860
00:39:39,888 --> 00:39:42,006
(Principal Miller sighs)
861
00:39:42,006 --> 00:39:45,006
(keyboard clicking)
862
00:39:49,356 --> 00:39:52,939
- Oh, wow, this must
be the Horror section.
863
00:39:53,886 --> 00:39:55,229
(Kelly chuckles)
864
00:39:55,229 --> 00:39:57,896
(Lisa chuckles)
865
00:39:59,158 --> 00:40:04,158
- If you're looking for
something to check out, try this.
866
00:40:04,518 --> 00:40:05,416
- Mm.
867
00:40:05,416 --> 00:40:09,223
I'll take a dozen copies,
but not here, not right now.
868
00:40:09,223 --> 00:40:11,012
You've got to be crazy.
869
00:40:11,012 --> 00:40:12,512
- I might just be.
870
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,380
Wait till you hear this plan.
871
00:40:15,380 --> 00:40:16,630
- [Lisa] What?!
872
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:19,515
- Shh, okay?
873
00:40:19,515 --> 00:40:20,912
It's perfect, all right?
874
00:40:20,912 --> 00:40:22,664
I'll have no problem hiding 10 pounds.
875
00:40:22,664 --> 00:40:24,241
No one will suspect a thing.
876
00:40:24,241 --> 00:40:28,683
And then when school lets out
for the summer, I'll have it.
877
00:40:28,683 --> 00:40:30,915
(hand thudding)
878
00:40:30,915 --> 00:40:32,542
(headphones squealing)
879
00:40:32,542 --> 00:40:36,450
- Do you have any idea how
difficult it is to carry a baby?
880
00:40:36,450 --> 00:40:37,590
- Hey, I'm a guy.
881
00:40:37,590 --> 00:40:38,910
I can handle it, all right?
882
00:40:38,910 --> 00:40:40,011
How hard could it be?
883
00:40:40,011 --> 00:40:43,609
- You really have no clue, do you?
884
00:40:43,609 --> 00:40:44,678
- So what do you think?
885
00:40:44,678 --> 00:40:47,567
- I think it's the strangest
thing I've ever heard.
886
00:40:47,567 --> 00:40:48,467
- Yeah.
887
00:40:48,467 --> 00:40:51,384
Strange or not, it's our best plan.
888
00:40:52,838 --> 00:40:56,238
- This doesn't look
like a doctor's office.
889
00:40:56,238 --> 00:40:58,238
Where are all of his diplomas?
890
00:40:58,238 --> 00:41:00,918
- Dr. Theus and his
assistant are highly trained,
891
00:41:00,918 --> 00:41:03,217
respected, dedicated professionals.
892
00:41:03,217 --> 00:41:06,190
Dr. Theus, I'd like you to meet Lisa.
893
00:41:06,190 --> 00:41:07,023
- Oh.
894
00:41:08,406 --> 00:41:11,048
Well, it's a pleasure to
meet the mate of the man
895
00:41:11,048 --> 00:41:14,798
who will mother the
child that you conceived.
896
00:41:17,057 --> 00:41:18,813
- Mm.
- And his assistant,
897
00:41:18,813 --> 00:41:20,346
Dr. Moore-
(Ditto coughs)
898
00:41:20,346 --> 00:41:21,179
Guh.
899
00:41:22,185 --> 00:41:23,602
Dr. Morgue, Lisa.
900
00:41:24,703 --> 00:41:25,637
- [Lisa] Charmed, I'm sure.
901
00:41:25,637 --> 00:41:29,844
- So, if we are ready, we
can begin the procedure.
902
00:41:29,844 --> 00:41:31,087
- Just one question.
903
00:41:31,087 --> 00:41:34,004
You have performed this
procedure before, right?
904
00:41:34,004 --> 00:41:34,903
- Uh.
905
00:41:34,903 --> 00:41:35,992
Yeah. Of course.
906
00:41:35,992 --> 00:41:36,989
Yes.
907
00:41:36,989 --> 00:41:39,704
In fact, in fact, Adam will be watching
908
00:41:39,704 --> 00:41:42,024
the entire procedure.
909
00:41:42,024 --> 00:41:43,669
- Adam?
910
00:41:43,669 --> 00:41:48,653
- Adam. Yes, Adam, my first
transplant experiment.
911
00:41:48,653 --> 00:41:50,085
- A monkey?
912
00:41:50,085 --> 00:41:50,918
Experiment.
913
00:41:50,918 --> 00:41:52,745
No, no, no, I-
914
00:41:52,745 --> 00:41:54,173
- Mellow out, babe, all right?
915
00:41:54,173 --> 00:41:55,689
This will be a piece of cake.
916
00:41:55,689 --> 00:41:57,147
- Ditto!
917
00:41:57,147 --> 00:41:58,480
(Ditto yelps)
918
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,197
(Lisa sighing)
919
00:42:01,197 --> 00:42:03,604
(body thuds)
920
00:42:03,604 --> 00:42:07,021
- Do I still get to apply the anesthesia?
921
00:42:09,104 --> 00:42:12,456
(gentle music)
922
00:42:12,456 --> 00:42:15,289
(machine beeping)
923
00:42:18,817 --> 00:42:19,650
- Hey.
924
00:42:22,901 --> 00:42:25,129
You okay in there?
925
00:42:25,129 --> 00:42:26,462
Can you hear me?
926
00:42:30,149 --> 00:42:32,982
(machine beeping)
927
00:42:44,132 --> 00:42:46,153
Now, look who's back.
928
00:42:46,153 --> 00:42:47,343
How you doing?
929
00:42:47,343 --> 00:42:50,688
- Lisa?
- Oh, no, Lisa's doing fine.
930
00:42:50,688 --> 00:42:51,521
Yeah.
931
00:42:51,521 --> 00:42:56,521
The procedure went perfectly,
and now, we just have to wait.
932
00:42:58,238 --> 00:42:59,988
So you get some rest.
933
00:43:01,439 --> 00:43:02,272
Good.
934
00:43:06,259 --> 00:43:08,158
- Class, what you have
before you are frogs
935
00:43:08,158 --> 00:43:09,851
that you will be dissecting.
936
00:43:09,851 --> 00:43:12,872
All the materials that you
need should be on your desk.
937
00:43:12,872 --> 00:43:14,872
- The whole thing went as slick as snot.
938
00:43:14,872 --> 00:43:15,920
I was the main man, of course,
939
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,768
but your uncle did do his part.
940
00:43:17,768 --> 00:43:18,959
- Yeah.
941
00:43:18,959 --> 00:43:20,335
I don't even feel any different.
942
00:43:20,335 --> 00:43:24,027
- Well, take it from me,
you are, in a family way.
943
00:43:24,027 --> 00:43:25,037
- Yeah.
944
00:43:25,037 --> 00:43:25,938
This is a breeze.
945
00:43:25,938 --> 00:43:27,738
I mean, to think, women have complained
946
00:43:27,738 --> 00:43:29,778
about this for centuries now.
947
00:43:29,778 --> 00:43:32,257
- All right, class, we're
ready to begin dissecting
948
00:43:32,257 --> 00:43:34,241
the anatomy of a frog.
949
00:43:34,241 --> 00:43:36,814
- It's all a big gimmick.
950
00:43:36,814 --> 00:43:37,663
- You think?
951
00:43:37,663 --> 00:43:38,732
- Absolutely.
952
00:43:38,732 --> 00:43:40,727
Girls have been lying to
guys since Eve told Adam
953
00:43:40,727 --> 00:43:44,207
that there was no worm in that apple.
954
00:43:44,207 --> 00:43:45,504
- Yeah.
955
00:43:45,504 --> 00:43:46,844
Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right.
956
00:43:46,844 --> 00:43:49,471
- The first point of
order is to slice open
957
00:43:49,471 --> 00:43:51,564
the abdominal cavity.
958
00:43:51,564 --> 00:43:53,087
- You are gonna blow the lid
959
00:43:53,087 --> 00:43:55,618
off of this whole pregnancy scam.
960
00:43:55,618 --> 00:43:57,348
Liberate mankind.
961
00:43:57,348 --> 00:43:58,569
Herald the truth.
962
00:43:58,569 --> 00:43:59,402
(Kelly heaves)
(vomit splashes)
963
00:43:59,402 --> 00:44:01,432
(students gasping)
964
00:44:01,432 --> 00:44:03,851
You're just wasting your
money with that test.
965
00:44:03,851 --> 00:44:06,800
After all, I am an
experienced professional.
966
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:08,144
- I hate to burst your bubble, Ditto,
967
00:44:08,144 --> 00:44:09,624
but you're only a high school student
968
00:44:09,624 --> 00:44:11,584
who's flunking biology.
969
00:44:11,584 --> 00:44:14,645
I mean, a lot of people get
sick at the sight of blood.
970
00:44:14,645 --> 00:44:15,936
- Frog blood?
971
00:44:15,936 --> 00:44:17,336
- Yeah, frog blood.
972
00:44:17,336 --> 00:44:18,454
Just give me a few more minutes,
973
00:44:18,454 --> 00:44:19,996
and I'll let you know for sure.
974
00:44:19,996 --> 00:44:23,347
- I am so sure, I already
got you a baby present.
975
00:44:23,347 --> 00:44:25,097
- [Kelly] What is it?
976
00:44:26,088 --> 00:44:26,921
- A baby.
977
00:44:28,019 --> 00:44:28,899
- What?
978
00:44:28,899 --> 00:44:30,480
- You know, one of those pooping,
979
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:32,615
wetting, wah, wah, wah baby dolls?
980
00:44:32,615 --> 00:44:33,887
You'll need the practice, bro.
981
00:44:33,887 --> 00:44:36,917
And from the looks of things,
982
00:44:36,917 --> 00:44:39,143
you might be in for a rough ride.
983
00:44:39,143 --> 00:44:40,454
- [Kelly] What do you mean?
984
00:44:40,454 --> 00:44:43,300
- I mean, the morning
sickness, muscle cramps,
985
00:44:43,300 --> 00:44:45,358
swollen feet, backaches, mood swings,
986
00:44:45,358 --> 00:44:48,777
breakouts of acne, and tender nipples.
987
00:44:48,777 --> 00:44:53,194
It says here that the breasts
might increase in size!
988
00:44:56,416 --> 00:45:00,734
- You don't suppose I'm
gonna like, grow, you know?
989
00:45:00,734 --> 00:45:02,037
- I don't know.
990
00:45:02,037 --> 00:45:03,595
But promise me one thing-
991
00:45:03,595 --> 00:45:04,428
- No.
992
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:06,119
- If you do-
993
00:45:06,119 --> 00:45:07,697
- Don't even go there.
- You'll let me touch them.
994
00:45:07,697 --> 00:45:08,530
- Seriously, Ditto?
995
00:45:08,530 --> 00:45:10,748
- Is that too much to ask
from your best friend?
996
00:45:10,748 --> 00:45:13,189
If I had some, I'd let
you slap them around.
997
00:45:13,189 --> 00:45:15,069
- You're hopeless.
998
00:45:15,069 --> 00:45:17,986
- Okay, well, what about breathing?
999
00:45:19,517 --> 00:45:21,097
Says here, you got to know how to breathe.
1000
00:45:21,097 --> 00:45:23,587
- Well, I've been doing
it all my life, so...
1001
00:45:23,587 --> 00:45:26,758
- Not like this, you haven't.
1002
00:45:26,758 --> 00:45:30,326
Come over here and lay on your back.
1003
00:45:30,326 --> 00:45:33,233
Okay, put one pillow under your head-
1004
00:45:33,233 --> 00:45:35,468
- All right.
- And one under your knees.
1005
00:45:35,468 --> 00:45:36,598
- All right.
1006
00:45:36,598 --> 00:45:37,431
- Okay.
1007
00:45:38,371 --> 00:45:41,204
Stage one is deep chest breathing.
1008
00:45:42,433 --> 00:45:46,183
So (inhales) in (exhales) and out.
1009
00:45:46,183 --> 00:45:48,046
In.
(both inhaling)
1010
00:45:48,046 --> 00:45:49,004
And out.
(both exhaling)
1011
00:45:49,004 --> 00:45:50,286
Magnificent, bro. You got it.
1012
00:45:50,286 --> 00:45:51,444
Okay.
- Nothing to it.
1013
00:45:51,444 --> 00:45:56,422
- Yeah. Stage two is
accelerated shallow breathing.
1014
00:45:56,422 --> 00:45:57,544
- Okay.
1015
00:45:57,544 --> 00:45:59,734
(Kelly loudly breathing)
1016
00:45:59,734 --> 00:46:01,825
- It's in through the nose,
out through the mouth.
1017
00:46:01,825 --> 00:46:02,903
(Kelly loudly breathing)
1018
00:46:02,903 --> 00:46:04,018
Yeah, okay, just like that.
1019
00:46:04,018 --> 00:46:05,770
Just like that.
1020
00:46:05,770 --> 00:46:06,730
Ready?!
1021
00:46:06,730 --> 00:46:09,747
Stage three, pant like a dog.
1022
00:46:09,747 --> 00:46:11,136
No, no, no, faster like this, like...
1023
00:46:11,136 --> 00:46:13,883
(Ditto loudly breathing)
1024
00:46:13,883 --> 00:46:15,232
Oh, why, Candy...
1025
00:46:15,232 --> 00:46:17,131
Oh, oh, Candy.
1026
00:46:17,131 --> 00:46:19,012
Oh, Candy, I want to kiss you.
1027
00:46:19,012 --> 00:46:19,845
Oh!
1028
00:46:19,845 --> 00:46:21,380
Okay, you ready?!
1029
00:46:21,380 --> 00:46:22,510
Stage four!
1030
00:46:22,510 --> 00:46:23,843
- "Stage four"?!
1031
00:46:25,123 --> 00:46:26,315
- Delivery breathing!
1032
00:46:26,315 --> 00:46:29,024
(Ditto grunts)
- Ow.
1033
00:46:29,024 --> 00:46:30,194
- Push!
1034
00:46:30,194 --> 00:46:31,102
(Kelly exhales)
1035
00:46:31,102 --> 00:46:32,601
Come on! Just keep blowing out!
1036
00:46:32,601 --> 00:46:34,323
Push! Oh, you're dilated!
1037
00:46:34,323 --> 00:46:35,388
Oh!
1038
00:46:35,388 --> 00:46:36,221
- What am I pushing?
1039
00:46:36,221 --> 00:46:37,745
- I don't know. Okay, here we go.
1040
00:46:37,745 --> 00:46:38,578
Here we go.
1041
00:46:38,578 --> 00:46:39,697
Nurse!
1042
00:46:39,697 --> 00:46:41,681
Oh, oh, you're dilated. 10 centimeters.
1043
00:46:41,681 --> 00:46:42,962
Okay, here we-
- I'm getting dizzy.
1044
00:46:42,962 --> 00:46:44,001
- Oh, you're so strong!
1045
00:46:44,001 --> 00:46:44,899
You're so strong!
1046
00:46:44,899 --> 00:46:45,937
- Ew!
1047
00:46:45,937 --> 00:46:47,006
- He's crowning!
1048
00:46:47,006 --> 00:46:47,839
Come on!
1049
00:46:53,176 --> 00:46:54,307
Okay.
1050
00:46:54,307 --> 00:46:55,477
Okay.
1051
00:46:55,477 --> 00:46:56,445
Okay.
1052
00:46:56,445 --> 00:46:57,605
We did it.
1053
00:46:57,605 --> 00:46:58,717
(Kelly sighs)
1054
00:46:58,717 --> 00:46:59,952
You can rest.
1055
00:46:59,952 --> 00:47:01,397
Okay.
1056
00:47:01,397 --> 00:47:02,230
Not bad.
1057
00:47:02,230 --> 00:47:03,814
(Ditto panting)
1058
00:47:03,814 --> 00:47:06,814
(Kelly panting)
1059
00:47:06,814 --> 00:47:07,974
- All right, it's time.
1060
00:47:07,974 --> 00:47:08,926
Clear means negative.
1061
00:47:08,926 --> 00:47:12,093
Blue means all my problems are solved.
1062
00:47:13,958 --> 00:47:18,958
(doll clatters)
(glass clatters)
1063
00:47:19,786 --> 00:47:20,829
I'm a mother!
1064
00:47:20,829 --> 00:47:21,662
Woo!
1065
00:47:22,549 --> 00:47:24,056
Yeah, yeah!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
1066
00:47:24,056 --> 00:47:27,166
- Woo!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
1067
00:47:27,166 --> 00:47:29,685
(pages rustling)
1068
00:47:29,685 --> 00:47:31,133
- Aw, gross!
1069
00:47:31,133 --> 00:47:33,501
She looks like she ate a bowling ball!
1070
00:47:33,501 --> 00:47:34,853
- That's because there's a baby in there.
1071
00:47:34,853 --> 00:47:36,512
- She ate a baby?
1072
00:47:36,512 --> 00:47:39,131
- No. She's gonna give birth to a baby.
1073
00:47:39,131 --> 00:47:41,171
- What are those weird
lines on her stomach?!
1074
00:47:41,171 --> 00:47:42,023
- Those are stretchmarks.
1075
00:47:42,023 --> 00:47:44,424
When the baby grows,
she gets stretched out.
1076
00:47:44,424 --> 00:47:47,064
- Why are you looking at
this stupid stuff anyway?
1077
00:47:47,064 --> 00:47:48,675
- Why don't you go stick
your head in the lawnmower?
1078
00:47:48,675 --> 00:47:49,973
- Cost you a dollar.
1079
00:47:49,973 --> 00:47:52,104
- That's a bargain, but I don't have it.
1080
00:47:52,104 --> 00:47:53,624
- I'll put it on your tab.
1081
00:47:53,624 --> 00:47:56,124
(Kelly sighs)
1082
00:48:00,664 --> 00:48:02,877
- [Jeff] You got a minute?
1083
00:48:02,877 --> 00:48:04,319
- Sure. Come on in.
1084
00:48:04,319 --> 00:48:05,362
- What are you studying?
1085
00:48:05,362 --> 00:48:07,029
- Just some biology.
1086
00:48:08,319 --> 00:48:10,170
- Biology, huh?
1087
00:48:10,170 --> 00:48:13,380
I was never very good in biology.
1088
00:48:13,380 --> 00:48:15,564
Never very good in school in general.
1089
00:48:15,564 --> 00:48:18,318
Maybe that's why I'm so proud of you, son.
1090
00:48:18,318 --> 00:48:19,910
Certainly can't take credit for it,
1091
00:48:19,910 --> 00:48:22,243
but you are one special kid.
1092
00:48:23,110 --> 00:48:27,859
An A student, star pitcher,
you never get in any trouble,
1093
00:48:27,859 --> 00:48:30,935
and you've never caused me
to lose a night's sleep.
1094
00:48:30,935 --> 00:48:33,223
I'm just thankful you're my boy.
1095
00:48:33,223 --> 00:48:34,499
- Well, I try my best.
1096
00:48:34,499 --> 00:48:38,260
- I know you do, son,
but all work and no play.
1097
00:48:38,260 --> 00:48:39,249
- What do you mean?
1098
00:48:39,249 --> 00:48:42,520
- What I mean is, well, in my senior year,
1099
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,528
it was the most memorable year of my life.
1100
00:48:45,528 --> 00:48:48,669
You could expect the unexpected from me.
1101
00:48:48,669 --> 00:48:50,181
Son, just don't get bogged down
1102
00:48:50,181 --> 00:48:51,771
with the pressures of school.
1103
00:48:51,771 --> 00:48:53,029
Live a little.
1104
00:48:53,029 --> 00:48:54,064
Be unique!
1105
00:48:54,064 --> 00:48:55,808
Do something a little crazy.
1106
00:48:55,808 --> 00:48:56,799
(Kelly chuckles)
1107
00:48:56,799 --> 00:48:59,799
In my year, I swallowed 13 goldfish.
1108
00:49:01,008 --> 00:49:02,189
School record.
1109
00:49:02,189 --> 00:49:04,720
You might not want to do
something that extreme.
1110
00:49:04,720 --> 00:49:06,789
Of course, you couldn't
cause half the stir
1111
00:49:06,789 --> 00:49:09,333
that your old man did.
1112
00:49:09,333 --> 00:49:12,750
By the way, I talked to your Uncle Theus.
1113
00:49:14,718 --> 00:49:16,038
- You did?
1114
00:49:16,038 --> 00:49:16,871
- Yeah.
1115
00:49:18,625 --> 00:49:22,977
He said you two are doing
some secret science project.
1116
00:49:22,977 --> 00:49:24,366
- He did?
1117
00:49:24,366 --> 00:49:25,823
- Yeah.
1118
00:49:25,823 --> 00:49:26,788
That's my boy.
1119
00:49:26,788 --> 00:49:28,205
Mr. Conservative.
1120
00:49:31,588 --> 00:49:33,386
(Kelly sighs)
1121
00:49:33,386 --> 00:49:35,439
♪ Well, it could have been the sea ♪
1122
00:49:35,439 --> 00:49:37,590
♪ That kept you in your shell ♪
1123
00:49:37,590 --> 00:49:41,662
♪ It could have been the Devil
that made your life Hell ♪
1124
00:49:41,662 --> 00:49:43,988
♪ It could have been an angel ♪
1125
00:49:43,988 --> 00:49:48,988
♪ Who blamed you for losing his wings ♪
1126
00:49:50,049 --> 00:49:52,407
♪ Well, it could have been a candle ♪
1127
00:49:52,407 --> 00:49:54,276
♪ That just burned to quick ♪
1128
00:49:54,276 --> 00:49:58,524
♪ It could have been a stranger
taking treats for tricks ♪
1129
00:49:58,524 --> 00:50:03,524
♪ It could have been tomorrow
that dangled today on a string ♪
1130
00:50:06,912 --> 00:50:09,543
♪ Well, it could have been the summer ♪
1131
00:50:09,543 --> 00:50:11,684
♪ Could have been the spring ♪
1132
00:50:11,684 --> 00:50:15,303
♪ Could have been the
rising cost of a ring ♪
1133
00:50:15,303 --> 00:50:19,391
♪ Well, it could have been
any number of things ♪
1134
00:50:19,391 --> 00:50:24,391
♪ But everybody knows it was me ♪
1135
00:50:25,741 --> 00:50:29,999
♪ Well, it could have been a
brainstorm that blew your mind ♪
1136
00:50:29,999 --> 00:50:34,268
♪ It could have been a
timeshare that stole your time ♪
1137
00:50:34,268 --> 00:50:39,268
♪ It could have been an accident
waiting to take control ♪
1138
00:50:42,588 --> 00:50:46,839
♪ Well, it could have been a
singer that just wanted a hit ♪
1139
00:50:46,839 --> 00:50:51,113
♪ It could have been a swinger
that swung and missed ♪
1140
00:50:51,113 --> 00:50:56,113
♪ It could have been the
whether or not to stay or go ♪
1141
00:50:59,361 --> 00:51:02,001
♪ Well, it could have been the winter ♪
1142
00:51:02,001 --> 00:51:04,102
♪ Could have been the fall ♪
1143
00:51:04,102 --> 00:51:07,780
♪ Could have been how you
were to pay for it all ♪
1144
00:51:07,780 --> 00:51:11,930
♪ Well, it could have been
any number of things ♪
1145
00:51:11,930 --> 00:51:16,930
♪ But everybody knows it was me ♪
1146
00:51:18,021 --> 00:51:19,422
♪ It was me ♪
1147
00:51:19,422 --> 00:51:22,123
♪ I'm in love with you still ♪
1148
00:51:22,123 --> 00:51:23,545
♪ It was me ♪
1149
00:51:23,545 --> 00:51:25,993
♪ I'm in love with you still ♪
1150
00:51:25,993 --> 00:51:27,612
♪ It was me ♪
1151
00:51:27,612 --> 00:51:30,132
♪ I'm in love with you still ♪
1152
00:51:30,132 --> 00:51:33,964
♪ It was you ♪
1153
00:51:33,964 --> 00:51:35,114
♪ Woo ♪
1154
00:51:35,114 --> 00:51:37,030
♪ You ♪
1155
00:51:37,030 --> 00:51:39,447
(door opens)
1156
00:51:41,774 --> 00:51:43,357
- Well, well, well.
1157
00:51:45,433 --> 00:51:48,023
If it isn't lover boy...
1158
00:51:48,023 --> 00:51:50,175
- Please, Bronco, I got to go real bad.
1159
00:51:50,175 --> 00:51:51,964
- Oh, you'll go right,
1160
00:51:51,964 --> 00:51:54,374
to the hospital if I
ever catch you putting
1161
00:51:54,374 --> 00:51:57,008
your dirty hands on my girl again.
1162
00:51:57,008 --> 00:51:59,148
- Please, just step aside.
1163
00:51:59,148 --> 00:52:00,199
- What was that?
1164
00:52:00,199 --> 00:52:01,717
Step outside?
1165
00:52:01,717 --> 00:52:04,866
You want to step outside
with me, do you, loser boy?
1166
00:52:04,866 --> 00:52:06,033
- Ow, not the nipples.
1167
00:52:06,033 --> 00:52:07,352
It hurts.
1168
00:52:07,352 --> 00:52:08,400
- Come on.
1169
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:10,369
(hand tapping)
Hit me with your best shot.
1170
00:52:10,369 --> 00:52:11,537
Pour it on me.
1171
00:52:11,537 --> 00:52:12,696
(jeans zipping)
1172
00:52:12,696 --> 00:52:13,776
(urine splashing)
1173
00:52:13,776 --> 00:52:15,897
(Kelly sighs)
1174
00:52:15,897 --> 00:52:17,515
Why, you little-
1175
00:52:17,515 --> 00:52:22,348
- Do I detect the odoriferous
presence of smoking tobacco?
1176
00:52:23,805 --> 00:52:24,794
- No, sir.
1177
00:52:24,794 --> 00:52:25,754
(Bronco sniff)
1178
00:52:25,754 --> 00:52:27,454
I don't smell a thing.
1179
00:52:27,454 --> 00:52:28,837
Me and the boys here
were just talking about
1180
00:52:28,837 --> 00:52:30,692
what a smoggy day it was.
1181
00:52:30,692 --> 00:52:32,838
Right, boys?
- Absolutely, that's right.
1182
00:52:32,838 --> 00:52:34,078
- Yes.
1183
00:52:34,078 --> 00:52:38,356
So smoggy, in fact, that
there is a substantial haze
1184
00:52:38,356 --> 00:52:42,846
curiously culminating right
here in the boys' bathroom.
1185
00:52:42,846 --> 00:52:43,918
- Yes, sir.
1186
00:52:43,918 --> 00:52:46,001
Very curious indeed, sir.
1187
00:52:47,038 --> 00:52:49,062
Well, we better be get going.
1188
00:52:49,062 --> 00:52:52,583
I don't want to miss any of
my algebra lessons, you know.
1189
00:52:52,583 --> 00:52:54,153
Nice seeing you again, Principal Miller.
1190
00:52:54,153 --> 00:52:57,153
- Mm, the pleasure's all mine, boys.
1191
00:53:00,062 --> 00:53:03,979
Kelly Hankins, just the
person I wanted to see.
1192
00:53:05,662 --> 00:53:06,872
- I am?
1193
00:53:06,872 --> 00:53:08,455
- Yes. Yes, my boy.
1194
00:53:10,470 --> 00:53:12,942
It has come to my attention lately
1195
00:53:12,942 --> 00:53:17,525
that your schoolwork has
suffered a serious regression.
1196
00:53:18,502 --> 00:53:22,289
- Well, my grades have dipped a little.
1197
00:53:22,289 --> 00:53:23,702
- "Dipped"?
1198
00:53:23,702 --> 00:53:27,643
Boy, they've crashed harder
than a bull rider's bottom.
1199
00:53:27,643 --> 00:53:28,883
- I'm sorry, sir.
1200
00:53:28,883 --> 00:53:33,630
- Kelly, in a class full
of chronic underachievers,
1201
00:53:33,630 --> 00:53:37,852
you have always been the one bright spot.
1202
00:53:37,852 --> 00:53:42,852
The only honor student among
a multitude of mental pygmies.
1203
00:53:42,852 --> 00:53:44,019
Confide in me.
1204
00:53:45,012 --> 00:53:46,845
Tell me, what's wrong?
1205
00:53:48,681 --> 00:53:50,574
- Nothing, sir.
1206
00:53:50,574 --> 00:53:53,020
- A social problem perhaps?
1207
00:53:53,020 --> 00:53:55,970
You know, quite often,
such a dramatic reversal
1208
00:53:55,970 --> 00:53:59,540
is the result of a lack of self-esteem,
1209
00:53:59,540 --> 00:54:03,457
the perception that
there's something abnormal,
1210
00:54:05,060 --> 00:54:07,393
that you don't quite fit in.
1211
00:54:10,370 --> 00:54:12,188
You're not suicidal, are you?
1212
00:54:12,188 --> 00:54:13,021
- No, sir.
1213
00:54:13,021 --> 00:54:14,786
- Well, see to it that you're not.
1214
00:54:14,786 --> 00:54:16,746
I would hate to have my school tarnished
1215
00:54:16,746 --> 00:54:19,385
by your thoughtless act.
1216
00:54:19,385 --> 00:54:23,367
Still, I have this intuition that there's
1217
00:54:23,367 --> 00:54:27,190
something peculiar you're hiding from me.
1218
00:54:27,190 --> 00:54:30,151
I can't quite put my finger on it,
1219
00:54:30,151 --> 00:54:32,831
but rest assured, sooner or later,
1220
00:54:32,831 --> 00:54:36,612
you will not be able to hold
it inside you any longer,
1221
00:54:36,612 --> 00:54:39,029
and it will burst out of you.
1222
00:54:40,911 --> 00:54:43,092
- I'm sure it will, sir.
1223
00:54:43,092 --> 00:54:45,852
May I go back to class now?
1224
00:54:45,852 --> 00:54:47,435
- You're dismissed.
1225
00:54:51,791 --> 00:54:55,458
(Principal Miller sniffing)
1226
00:54:58,751 --> 00:55:01,334
(bag rustling)
1227
00:55:05,221 --> 00:55:06,732
- 180?
1228
00:55:06,732 --> 00:55:07,732
That's 35...
1229
00:55:08,762 --> 00:55:11,151
35 pounds in six months?
1230
00:55:11,151 --> 00:55:13,313
I mean, I was only
supposed to gain 10 pounds
1231
00:55:13,313 --> 00:55:14,913
the whole nine months.
1232
00:55:14,913 --> 00:55:16,358
Stop gorging, you oinker.
1233
00:55:16,358 --> 00:55:18,880
Cut down on the chow or else.
1234
00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:19,713
Oh.
1235
00:55:21,406 --> 00:55:22,568
What the?
1236
00:55:22,568 --> 00:55:25,151
(gentle music)
1237
00:55:33,088 --> 00:55:33,984
Oh.
1238
00:55:33,984 --> 00:55:34,817
He kicked.
1239
00:55:36,470 --> 00:55:39,550
Hey, can you hear me in there?
1240
00:55:39,550 --> 00:55:41,920
Listen, that's quite a kick you got there.
1241
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:44,990
I mean, you could make All-State.
1242
00:55:44,990 --> 00:55:46,823
What if you're a girl?
1243
00:55:47,950 --> 00:55:50,438
You can still make All-State.
1244
00:55:50,438 --> 00:55:54,051
People may laugh and point
at you, trust me, I know,
1245
00:55:54,051 --> 00:55:56,639
might feel scared or deserted,
1246
00:55:56,639 --> 00:55:58,889
but I'll always be there for you.
1247
00:55:58,889 --> 00:56:01,059
I wouldn't do this for just anyone.
1248
00:56:01,059 --> 00:56:02,309
You're special.
1249
00:56:03,659 --> 00:56:04,760
If want to sock me one day
1250
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:07,593
because of all this, I understand.
1251
00:56:09,159 --> 00:56:11,857
I just want to meet you.
1252
00:56:11,857 --> 00:56:16,009
Promise I'll do anything
to make that happen.
1253
00:56:16,009 --> 00:56:17,673
By the way, forget that crack
1254
00:56:17,673 --> 00:56:20,854
about cutting down on the chow.
1255
00:56:20,854 --> 00:56:25,271
You're gonna need all your
strength to play football.
1256
00:56:26,312 --> 00:56:27,482
- Yeah.
- Oh, it was disgusting.
1257
00:56:27,482 --> 00:56:28,701
- Who would do that?
- I can't believe it.
1258
00:56:28,701 --> 00:56:30,771
I have no idea.
1259
00:56:30,771 --> 00:56:32,372
Oh, my gosh.
1260
00:56:32,372 --> 00:56:33,455
Look at this.
1261
00:56:37,900 --> 00:56:40,573
Have you ever seen a more pitiful sight?
1262
00:56:40,573 --> 00:56:43,429
- He's gone from hot to so not.
1263
00:56:43,429 --> 00:56:46,086
- [Brunette Girl] From cool to fool.
1264
00:56:46,086 --> 00:56:51,086
- [Dark Haired Girl] From
super athletic to Mr. pathetic.
1265
00:56:51,298 --> 00:56:52,381
- Well? Lisa?
1266
00:56:53,798 --> 00:56:55,166
- Oh.
1267
00:56:55,166 --> 00:56:56,666
From hunk to junk.
1268
00:56:58,404 --> 00:57:00,354
(girls laughing)
- Nice.
1269
00:57:00,354 --> 00:57:02,863
Ugh, freakazoid warning at 12 o'clock.
1270
00:57:02,863 --> 00:57:06,794
Let's get out of here
before he contaminates us.
1271
00:57:06,794 --> 00:57:08,343
- Pure awesomeness.
(camera snaps)
1272
00:57:08,343 --> 00:57:10,260
This one's going viral.
1273
00:57:11,434 --> 00:57:12,267
Hey, wait.
1274
00:57:25,300 --> 00:57:26,771
- Hey, stranger.
1275
00:57:26,771 --> 00:57:28,477
Haven't seen much of you lately.
1276
00:57:28,477 --> 00:57:30,512
- Speaking of stranger,
1277
00:57:30,512 --> 00:57:33,283
that's what you're becoming
more and more of every day.
1278
00:57:33,283 --> 00:57:34,363
- What do you mean?
1279
00:57:34,363 --> 00:57:37,613
- I mean everyone is talking about you.
1280
00:57:38,502 --> 00:57:40,294
What happened to only gaining 10 pounds?
1281
00:57:40,294 --> 00:57:42,870
You've become the joke
of the entire school.
1282
00:57:42,870 --> 00:57:44,789
- I don't care what everyone else thinks.
1283
00:57:44,789 --> 00:57:46,439
What do you think?
1284
00:57:46,439 --> 00:57:48,537
- I don't know, Kelly.
1285
00:57:48,537 --> 00:57:51,068
Part of me thinks you're this
special guy for doing this,
1286
00:57:51,068 --> 00:57:53,818
but part of me says, "Stay clear.
1287
00:57:55,289 --> 00:57:56,788
Danger zone."
1288
00:57:56,788 --> 00:57:58,048
- "Stay clear"?
1289
00:57:58,048 --> 00:57:59,754
"Danger," really?
1290
00:57:59,754 --> 00:58:02,103
You're right about one thing,
Lisa, I am a special guy.
1291
00:58:02,103 --> 00:58:03,023
I risked it all for you,
1292
00:58:03,023 --> 00:58:06,543
and I'll do the same for our
baby, with or without you.
1293
00:58:06,543 --> 00:58:08,293
The decision's yours.
1294
00:58:14,665 --> 00:58:15,585
That's it.
1295
00:58:15,585 --> 00:58:17,186
Get those legs up.
1296
00:58:17,186 --> 00:58:18,917
Keep it going.
1297
00:58:18,917 --> 00:58:20,066
(Kelly sighs)
1298
00:58:20,066 --> 00:58:22,082
All right. All right.
1299
00:58:22,082 --> 00:58:24,059
We're gonna do some toe touches.
1300
00:58:24,059 --> 00:58:25,510
All right.
1301
00:58:25,510 --> 00:58:26,843
One, two, three.
1302
00:58:29,830 --> 00:58:31,430
All right, that's it.
1303
00:58:31,430 --> 00:58:33,321
That's a great class.
1304
00:58:33,321 --> 00:58:35,369
I'll see you next month.
1305
00:58:35,369 --> 00:58:38,036
(Kelly panting)
1306
00:58:42,489 --> 00:58:45,367
- You know, I don't know,
1307
00:58:45,367 --> 00:58:48,137
I just don't have the
motivation to workout anymore.
1308
00:58:48,137 --> 00:58:51,337
- Yeah, you and about
a hundred other people.
1309
00:58:51,337 --> 00:58:53,837
(Kelly sighs)
1310
00:58:56,929 --> 00:58:58,637
- Face it, Ace, you've lost it.
1311
00:58:58,637 --> 00:59:02,285
That spring in your step,
the fantastic frame,
1312
00:59:02,285 --> 00:59:04,994
the pulsating pelvis, gone.
1313
00:59:04,994 --> 00:59:06,314
- That's not all I've lost.
1314
00:59:06,314 --> 00:59:07,746
Lisa and I broke up.
1315
00:59:07,746 --> 00:59:08,579
- Oh, no.
1316
00:59:09,645 --> 00:59:12,343
Another abandoned teenage mother.
1317
00:59:12,343 --> 00:59:15,103
Just another sad statistic
in this depraved society.
1318
00:59:15,103 --> 00:59:16,218
Ugh.
1319
00:59:16,218 --> 00:59:18,082
(tongue clicking)
1320
00:59:18,082 --> 00:59:19,410
What are you gonna do?
1321
00:59:19,410 --> 00:59:21,581
- I don't know, Ditto.
1322
00:59:21,581 --> 00:59:22,791
I'm just so confused.
1323
00:59:22,791 --> 00:59:26,124
I don't know who I am or even what I am.
1324
00:59:27,453 --> 00:59:29,953
- I know exactly how you feel.
1325
00:59:30,903 --> 00:59:34,061
- When I started this
thing, it all felt so right.
1326
00:59:34,061 --> 00:59:35,759
I mean, nothing else
in the world mattered.
1327
00:59:35,759 --> 00:59:39,181
Then when Lisa broke
up with me, it just...
1328
00:59:39,181 --> 00:59:40,848
I don't know if I can continue on.
1329
00:59:40,848 --> 00:59:42,598
- Hey, cheer up, guy.
1330
00:59:46,028 --> 00:59:47,573
(Ditto sighs)
1331
00:59:47,573 --> 00:59:50,114
It's always darkest before the dawn.
1332
00:59:50,114 --> 00:59:53,281
At least it can't get much worse, huh?
1333
00:59:57,690 --> 00:59:59,051
- I got fired.
1334
00:59:59,051 --> 00:59:59,899
I got fired!
1335
00:59:59,899 --> 01:00:02,649
(letter rustles)
1336
01:00:05,629 --> 01:00:07,807
- Important information for you,
1337
01:00:07,807 --> 01:00:09,509
before you play baseball,
1338
01:00:09,509 --> 01:00:11,277
there's one thing you must do
1339
01:00:11,277 --> 01:00:14,088
before you're gonna be eligible to play,
1340
01:00:14,088 --> 01:00:16,539
and that's a physical.
1341
01:00:16,539 --> 01:00:17,528
We have a great nurse.
1342
01:00:17,528 --> 01:00:20,048
She's a new nurse. Her name is Zelda.
1343
01:00:20,048 --> 01:00:21,385
Really knows her medicine.
1344
01:00:21,385 --> 01:00:22,976
But once you pass the physical,
1345
01:00:22,976 --> 01:00:25,617
yay, you're ready to be a Bloodhound!
1346
01:00:25,617 --> 01:00:26,450
You know?
1347
01:00:26,450 --> 01:00:27,508
It's just part of the game.
1348
01:00:27,508 --> 01:00:29,489
Just part of the game,
part of the process.
1349
01:00:29,489 --> 01:00:32,074
So I'd like for you all to
(inhales) take a deep breath.
1350
01:00:32,074 --> 01:00:33,314
Everybody.
1351
01:00:33,314 --> 01:00:35,811
Okay, now get up on your feet,
1352
01:00:35,811 --> 01:00:37,763
and exit this way through
the medical building.
1353
01:00:37,763 --> 01:00:38,596
Go ahead.
1354
01:00:39,670 --> 01:00:41,070
Attaboy.
1355
01:00:41,070 --> 01:00:41,903
Way to go, guys.
(hand patting)
1356
01:00:41,903 --> 01:00:42,849
Way to go.
1357
01:00:42,849 --> 01:00:46,188
- Please answer following questions
1358
01:00:46,188 --> 01:00:48,355
to best of your knowledge.
1359
01:00:50,257 --> 01:00:51,358
Age?
1360
01:00:51,358 --> 01:00:52,217
- 18.
1361
01:00:52,217 --> 01:00:53,249
- Height?
1362
01:00:53,249 --> 01:00:54,324
- [Kelly] 5'8".
1363
01:00:54,324 --> 01:00:55,556
- [Zelda] Weight?
1364
01:00:55,556 --> 01:00:57,223
- A little over 160.
1365
01:00:58,775 --> 01:01:01,275
(Zelda sighs)
1366
01:01:02,318 --> 01:01:05,235
- Must we weigh you on scale naked?
1367
01:01:08,528 --> 01:01:10,528
- 187.4 pounds, exactly.
1368
01:01:14,346 --> 01:01:15,699
- Mm-hm.
1369
01:01:15,699 --> 01:01:19,366
Have you been experiencing
any of following?
1370
01:01:22,558 --> 01:01:24,308
Unusual aches, pains,
1371
01:01:27,048 --> 01:01:30,881
sudden weight gain,
coordination difficulties,
1372
01:01:31,848 --> 01:01:33,598
nausea, incontinence,
1373
01:01:34,557 --> 01:01:38,048
breathing irregularities,
emotional distress?
1374
01:01:38,048 --> 01:01:39,061
- No!
1375
01:01:39,061 --> 01:01:40,588
- All right.
1376
01:01:40,588 --> 01:01:41,671
Remove shirt.
1377
01:01:44,627 --> 01:01:46,210
- I'm a little shy.
1378
01:01:53,656 --> 01:01:55,196
- Hot damn!
1379
01:01:55,196 --> 01:01:58,027
That is biggest one of
those I've ever seen.
1380
01:01:58,027 --> 01:02:01,397
- Do you want me to put my shirt back on?
1381
01:02:01,397 --> 01:02:02,480
- No, no, no.
1382
01:02:04,368 --> 01:02:05,717
No.
1383
01:02:05,717 --> 01:02:08,134
I am professional, after all.
1384
01:02:13,095 --> 01:02:15,178
Where should we put this?
1385
01:02:17,114 --> 01:02:17,947
Okay.
1386
01:02:25,805 --> 01:02:27,138
That is strange.
1387
01:02:29,645 --> 01:02:32,145
I think I hear two heartbeats.
1388
01:02:36,445 --> 01:02:39,327
- That's because, um, my heart beats
1389
01:02:39,327 --> 01:02:42,160
twice as fast when I'm around you.
1390
01:02:43,464 --> 01:02:46,464
- Well, you are a sweet talker, you.
1391
01:02:49,833 --> 01:02:50,666
Yes.
1392
01:02:54,872 --> 01:02:57,205
You know, I could be charmed
1393
01:03:00,700 --> 01:03:05,250
into becoming cougar for
you, little lion cub.
1394
01:03:05,250 --> 01:03:07,417
- You're out of my league.
1395
01:03:10,858 --> 01:03:13,025
- Well, you'll let me know
1396
01:03:16,487 --> 01:03:19,154
when you graduate to the majors.
1397
01:03:22,949 --> 01:03:24,495
- Gas.
1398
01:03:24,495 --> 01:03:29,102
- Do you want my
professional medical opinion?
1399
01:03:29,102 --> 01:03:30,142
- I guess?
1400
01:03:30,142 --> 01:03:32,475
- My professional opinion is
1401
01:03:35,716 --> 01:03:37,049
you're pregnant.
1402
01:03:38,530 --> 01:03:39,363
Pregnant.
1403
01:03:40,578 --> 01:03:42,161
You know, boo, wah.
1404
01:03:46,447 --> 01:03:49,030
(Zelda laughs)
1405
01:03:50,410 --> 01:03:53,039
The look on your face.
1406
01:03:53,039 --> 01:03:55,770
To think that I quit
being standup comedian
1407
01:03:55,770 --> 01:03:57,375
to become nurse, yeah?
1408
01:03:57,375 --> 01:03:58,574
- Uh-huh.
- Yes.
1409
01:03:58,574 --> 01:04:01,574
(upbeat rock music)
1410
01:04:15,589 --> 01:04:16,469
- Hey, Candy.
1411
01:04:16,469 --> 01:04:18,488
Thanks for coming to support the team.
1412
01:04:18,488 --> 01:04:21,149
- Came to support my
knight in shining armor.
1413
01:04:21,149 --> 01:04:23,867
- Thanks. I appreciate it.
1414
01:04:23,867 --> 01:04:25,200
- You seem down.
1415
01:04:26,096 --> 01:04:28,916
- I haven't really been myself lately.
1416
01:04:28,916 --> 01:04:31,961
- Well, I've got a
little surprise for you,
1417
01:04:31,961 --> 01:04:35,680
something to help you
warm up before the game.
1418
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:37,150
- What's that?
1419
01:04:37,150 --> 01:04:38,478
- A knight always carries a piece
1420
01:04:38,478 --> 01:04:41,220
of his damsel's clothing into battle.
1421
01:04:41,220 --> 01:04:43,402
Would you do that for me?
1422
01:04:43,402 --> 01:04:44,485
- I guess so.
1423
01:04:45,548 --> 01:04:47,348
What are you...
1424
01:04:47,348 --> 01:04:49,765
- How's that for inspiration?
1425
01:04:51,113 --> 01:04:52,741
- I got to go. Okay.
1426
01:04:52,741 --> 01:04:53,950
- Batter up.
1427
01:04:53,950 --> 01:04:56,533
(lively music)
1428
01:04:58,130 --> 01:04:59,340
- Play ball!
1429
01:04:59,340 --> 01:05:01,940
♪ Let's go ♪
1430
01:05:01,940 --> 01:05:04,030
♪ Batter up ♪
1431
01:05:04,030 --> 01:05:05,475
♪ Woo ♪
1432
01:05:05,475 --> 01:05:08,876
♪ Your glory days are now a haze ♪
1433
01:05:08,876 --> 01:05:11,371
♪ Your peak is far behind you ♪
1434
01:05:11,371 --> 01:05:12,204
(Coach Dombrowski groans)
1435
01:05:12,204 --> 01:05:17,204
♪ You're trying to
recapture that old thrill ♪
1436
01:05:18,701 --> 01:05:22,301
♪ When you trip and
fall and drop the ball ♪
1437
01:05:22,301 --> 01:05:25,616
♪ It's suddenly a reminder ♪
1438
01:05:25,616 --> 01:05:30,616
♪ The spirit's strong, but
your body's gone downhill ♪
1439
01:05:31,942 --> 01:05:33,593
♪ Now you're awake ♪
1440
01:05:33,593 --> 01:05:38,593
♪ But it seems you've only
been a legend in your dreams ♪
1441
01:05:39,073 --> 01:05:44,073
♪ And talent really
never got you very far ♪
1442
01:05:45,563 --> 01:05:48,313
♪ 'Cause you can't hit, field, or throw ♪
1443
01:05:48,313 --> 01:05:52,084
♪ Oh, buddy, there is one
thing you should know ♪
1444
01:05:52,084 --> 01:05:56,724
♪ You're just a washed-up,
broke-down subpar superstar ♪
1445
01:05:56,724 --> 01:06:01,141
♪ You know you are, subpar superstar ♪
1446
01:06:02,372 --> 01:06:05,039
(singer laughs)
1447
01:06:06,532 --> 01:06:07,570
- Time.
1448
01:06:07,570 --> 01:06:09,429
- [Umpire] Timeout!
1449
01:06:09,429 --> 01:06:11,364
- This clown's crowding the plate.
1450
01:06:11,364 --> 01:06:12,807
Give him the brush-back pitch.
1451
01:06:12,807 --> 01:06:15,557
(dramatic music)
1452
01:06:20,694 --> 01:06:22,804
Better suck it up.
1453
01:06:22,804 --> 01:06:25,637
This one's coming down the inside.
1454
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:31,687
- Take your base.
- Hey!
1455
01:06:31,687 --> 01:06:32,569
Hey!
1456
01:06:32,569 --> 01:06:34,315
He threw at him!
1457
01:06:34,315 --> 01:06:35,235
(Coach Dombrowski grunts)
1458
01:06:35,235 --> 01:06:36,246
Hey!
1459
01:06:36,246 --> 01:06:37,310
You ordered a beanball.
1460
01:06:37,310 --> 01:06:38,929
- Yeah, should have ordered a pizza.
1461
01:06:38,929 --> 01:06:41,841
- When you talk to my
team, talk with respect.
1462
01:06:41,841 --> 01:06:44,241
- That's not a Butterhill
Hound, that's a hippo.
1463
01:06:44,241 --> 01:06:45,296
- That's a hippo?
1464
01:06:45,296 --> 01:06:46,975
Do you really think that's a hippo?
1465
01:06:46,975 --> 01:06:48,165
You don't know what's a good name.
1466
01:06:48,165 --> 01:06:49,491
(Coach Dombrowski grunts)
- Hey, hey!
1467
01:06:49,491 --> 01:06:50,474
- Take it, take it!
- Knock it off, Coach.
1468
01:06:50,474 --> 01:06:51,938
- [Coach Dombrowski] Take
it. Get outta the way!
1469
01:06:51,938 --> 01:06:52,952
Take it!
- I said knock it off!
1470
01:06:52,952 --> 01:06:53,852
- [Coach Dombrowski] Take it, take it.
1471
01:06:53,852 --> 01:06:55,066
Take that. Take it.
1472
01:06:55,066 --> 01:06:56,066
Take it. Come on.
1473
01:06:56,066 --> 01:07:00,092
♪ It's just a faded
memory from your youth ♪
1474
01:07:00,092 --> 01:07:02,463
(people shouting)
1475
01:07:02,463 --> 01:07:07,006
♪ You cough and wheeze,
fall to your knees ♪
1476
01:07:07,006 --> 01:07:08,006
- Play ball.
1477
01:07:09,497 --> 01:07:14,497
♪ But miracles are rare,
and that's the truth ♪
1478
01:07:15,964 --> 01:07:18,890
♪ Now you've fallen to the curse ♪
1479
01:07:18,890 --> 01:07:23,091
♪ It's so sad, you're getting worse ♪
1480
01:07:23,091 --> 01:07:28,091
♪ Father Time made you
just the way you are ♪
1481
01:07:29,367 --> 01:07:32,097
♪ Well, it's time for you to quit ♪
1482
01:07:32,097 --> 01:07:35,913
♪ You've got to give it
up, you've got to admit ♪
1483
01:07:35,913 --> 01:07:40,543
♪ You're just a washed-up,
broke-down subpar superstar ♪
1484
01:07:40,543 --> 01:07:42,382
♪ You know you are ♪
1485
01:07:42,382 --> 01:07:43,332
- Hey, come on!
1486
01:07:43,332 --> 01:07:44,165
Run!
1487
01:07:47,079 --> 01:07:47,912
Run!
1488
01:07:49,370 --> 01:07:53,016
♪ Here's the truth, you're a super flop ♪
1489
01:07:53,016 --> 01:07:54,557
- [Umpire] You're out!
1490
01:07:54,557 --> 01:07:57,136
You're out!
(crowd groaning)
1491
01:07:57,136 --> 01:07:57,969
(ball taps)
1492
01:07:57,969 --> 01:07:59,406
(crowd jeering)
You're out too!
1493
01:07:59,406 --> 01:08:00,958
(Coach Dombrowski groans)
1494
01:08:00,958 --> 01:08:02,293
- God! No!
1495
01:08:02,293 --> 01:08:03,813
Man!
1496
01:08:03,813 --> 01:08:06,573
(Coach Dombrowski groans)
1497
01:08:06,573 --> 01:08:09,240
(singer laughs)
1498
01:08:11,322 --> 01:08:12,832
♪ Yeah ♪
1499
01:08:12,832 --> 01:08:15,312
That was the worst exhibition
1500
01:08:15,312 --> 01:08:17,805
of sissyball I have ever witnessed.
1501
01:08:17,805 --> 01:08:20,623
Cowall, what kind of a tag is that?
1502
01:08:20,623 --> 01:08:22,104
Arnelli?
1503
01:08:22,104 --> 01:08:24,423
My mother can field better than you.
1504
01:08:24,423 --> 01:08:26,632
And Hankins, Hankins,
1505
01:08:26,632 --> 01:08:29,783
there are no words to
describe your performance.
1506
01:08:29,783 --> 01:08:34,421
I came to school, and they told
me to expect something big.
1507
01:08:34,421 --> 01:08:37,141
But I didn't expect it to be your stomach.
1508
01:08:37,141 --> 01:08:39,410
Good lord, man, you throw like a girl.
1509
01:08:39,410 --> 01:08:41,191
Have you looked in the mirror lately?
1510
01:08:41,191 --> 01:08:44,774
You're starting to grow
female accessories.
1511
01:08:45,639 --> 01:08:46,722
You, up, now!
1512
01:08:55,535 --> 01:08:57,719
Are you wearing these now?
1513
01:08:57,719 --> 01:08:58,607
Where did you get it?
1514
01:08:58,607 --> 01:09:00,047
- No, sir, I'm not.
1515
01:09:00,047 --> 01:09:02,106
- Well, I'm a good coach.
1516
01:09:02,106 --> 01:09:03,533
I'm gonna give them back to you.
1517
01:09:03,533 --> 01:09:06,033
Have a seat.
- Sure, thank you.
1518
01:09:07,507 --> 01:09:08,577
- Well, you're gonna pay.
1519
01:09:08,577 --> 01:09:10,105
Every one of you is gonna pay.
1520
01:09:10,105 --> 01:09:12,126
There is no Mr. Nice Guy.
1521
01:09:12,126 --> 01:09:14,181
This honeymoon is over!
1522
01:09:14,181 --> 01:09:15,587
- I want a divorce.
1523
01:09:15,587 --> 01:09:18,827
- Where is your Bloodhound pride?!
1524
01:09:18,827 --> 01:09:21,347
I want everybody to hit the showers
1525
01:09:21,347 --> 01:09:24,577
and wash that miserable
performance off your bodies.
1526
01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:27,544
Hankins, I want you to get down
here and give me 20 pushups.
1527
01:09:27,544 --> 01:09:29,105
That'll keep you busy for two hours.
1528
01:09:29,105 --> 01:09:29,994
Right here. Go!
1529
01:09:29,994 --> 01:09:31,322
Right here. Right here.
1530
01:09:31,322 --> 01:09:32,348
There you go, buddy.
1531
01:09:32,348 --> 01:09:33,231
Okay, go!
1532
01:09:33,231 --> 01:09:34,340
Right now. Up, up, up, up!
1533
01:09:34,340 --> 01:09:35,607
Go! Shower time.
1534
01:09:35,607 --> 01:09:36,629
Go!
(Coach Dombrowski whistles)
1535
01:09:36,629 --> 01:09:37,462
Go!
1536
01:09:37,462 --> 01:09:38,295
Run!
1537
01:09:39,485 --> 01:09:41,152
Oh, I love baseball.
1538
01:09:42,285 --> 01:09:44,868
(gentle music)
1539
01:09:51,263 --> 01:09:52,252
(Milton sighs)
1540
01:09:52,252 --> 01:09:53,223
(tongue clicking)
1541
01:09:53,223 --> 01:09:55,580
- How the mighty have fallen.
1542
01:09:55,580 --> 01:09:57,260
- Go away, Milton.
1543
01:09:57,260 --> 01:09:58,688
- Or what?
1544
01:09:58,688 --> 01:10:00,978
You're gonna jump up and run me down?
1545
01:10:00,978 --> 01:10:02,395
Hmm? I think not!
1546
01:10:03,676 --> 01:10:07,948
I've watched you run and jump
today, and, oh, it's pitiful.
1547
01:10:07,948 --> 01:10:09,198
Simply pitiful!
1548
01:10:10,998 --> 01:10:13,684
What's going on with you anyway?
1549
01:10:13,684 --> 01:10:16,124
Come on, you can tell me.
1550
01:10:16,124 --> 01:10:18,852
We've been buds since kindergarten.
1551
01:10:18,852 --> 01:10:19,951
- "Buds"?
1552
01:10:19,951 --> 01:10:20,951
I think not.
1553
01:10:22,820 --> 01:10:24,221
- All right.
1554
01:10:24,221 --> 01:10:25,221
Be that way.
1555
01:10:26,122 --> 01:10:31,122
But (sniffs) the nose knows
something is going on,
1556
01:10:31,681 --> 01:10:34,598
and I will be your worst nightmare.
1557
01:10:36,496 --> 01:10:38,996
(Kelly sighs)
1558
01:10:41,727 --> 01:10:43,167
- 196?
1559
01:10:43,167 --> 01:10:45,506
I don't believe this.
1560
01:10:45,506 --> 01:10:47,444
- Stretchmarks.
1561
01:10:47,444 --> 01:10:48,458
Stretchmarks!
1562
01:10:48,458 --> 01:10:49,482
- Jimmy, quiet!
1563
01:10:49,482 --> 01:10:51,209
- You're going to have a baby!
1564
01:10:51,209 --> 01:10:52,837
- Jimmy, no.
(bodies tumbling)
1565
01:10:52,837 --> 01:10:54,365
- Get off my face!
1566
01:10:54,365 --> 01:10:55,925
You're killing me!
1567
01:10:55,925 --> 01:10:57,258
I can't breathe!
1568
01:10:58,234 --> 01:10:59,351
- [Kelly] Then keep quiet.
1569
01:10:59,351 --> 01:11:00,434
- Okay, okay!
1570
01:11:03,173 --> 01:11:04,659
I saw it in your book.
1571
01:11:04,659 --> 01:11:06,403
You're going to have a baby.
1572
01:11:06,403 --> 01:11:08,221
- It's not what you think.
1573
01:11:08,221 --> 01:11:09,300
I ate a bowling ball.
1574
01:11:09,300 --> 01:11:11,222
- What?!
- No, no.
1575
01:11:11,222 --> 01:11:12,233
It was a science project,
1576
01:11:12,233 --> 01:11:13,774
and they pumped my stomach full of air.
1577
01:11:13,774 --> 01:11:16,287
You know, like a balloon, see?
1578
01:11:16,287 --> 01:11:19,651
It's just that Mom and
Dad can't know, all right?
1579
01:11:19,651 --> 01:11:21,271
It's secret, you understand?
1580
01:11:21,271 --> 01:11:24,081
- All I understand is cash.
1581
01:11:24,081 --> 01:11:26,940
And boy, this is gonna take plenty of it.
1582
01:11:26,940 --> 01:11:28,227
- I'm broke. What do you want from me?
1583
01:11:28,227 --> 01:11:29,445
I mean, give me a break.
1584
01:11:29,445 --> 01:11:30,845
I'll do anything. Anything you want.
1585
01:11:30,845 --> 01:11:32,184
- I want collateral.
1586
01:11:32,184 --> 01:11:33,176
- Take my goldfish.
1587
01:11:33,176 --> 01:11:35,184
- I don't want your goldfish.
1588
01:11:35,184 --> 01:11:36,773
- [Kelly] Then what?
1589
01:11:36,773 --> 01:11:38,273
- I want your car.
1590
01:11:40,393 --> 01:11:42,195
- What?
- You heard me.
1591
01:11:42,195 --> 01:11:43,513
I want your car.
1592
01:11:43,513 --> 01:11:46,085
It's the only thing you own
that's worth a nickel to me.
1593
01:11:46,085 --> 01:11:49,312
I want to hold onto it
until you pay off your debt.
1594
01:11:49,312 --> 01:11:50,312
- But that's blackmail.
1595
01:11:50,312 --> 01:11:52,923
I mean, you can't make me
pay ransom on my own car.
1596
01:11:52,923 --> 01:11:53,756
I'll wring your neck, you little-
1597
01:11:53,756 --> 01:11:55,799
- Mom, Dad!
- Shh, shh, shh.
1598
01:11:55,799 --> 01:11:58,271
- I can, and I will.
1599
01:11:58,271 --> 01:12:00,687
(Kelly sighs)
Keys, please.
1600
01:12:00,687 --> 01:12:02,079
(keys jingling)
1601
01:12:02,079 --> 01:12:04,690
- How am I supposed to get
around, maintain my image?
1602
01:12:04,690 --> 01:12:06,980
I mean, come on, where's
your brotherly love?
1603
01:12:06,980 --> 01:12:09,511
- Yeah, a guy's lost without wheels.
1604
01:12:09,511 --> 01:12:12,901
Don't worry, bro, I
won't leave you hanging.
1605
01:12:12,901 --> 01:12:16,101
(keys jingling)
1606
01:12:16,101 --> 01:12:19,101
(upbeat rock music)
1607
01:12:27,600 --> 01:12:30,683
(drumsticks tapping)
1608
01:12:32,097 --> 01:12:34,134
- [Kelly] I got it. I got it.
1609
01:12:34,134 --> 01:12:36,480
- [Boy In Gray] Listen,
dude, this ain't working.
1610
01:12:36,480 --> 01:12:38,788
- Do you want me to cut the spin out?
1611
01:12:38,788 --> 01:12:43,009
- It's not the spin that needs
to be cut, it's the spinner.
1612
01:12:43,009 --> 01:12:44,629
- What are you saying,
are you gonna cut me out
1613
01:12:44,629 --> 01:12:45,732
of the band I started?
1614
01:12:45,732 --> 01:12:47,309
- Well, like, it's just this year,
1615
01:12:47,309 --> 01:12:49,316
we have a good shot at playing the prom,
1616
01:12:49,316 --> 01:12:52,417
but the kids have got to
vote us in and, well...
1617
01:12:52,417 --> 01:12:55,235
- Yeah, right now, I'm
the one holding you back.
1618
01:12:55,235 --> 01:12:56,745
- Maybe if we practice more.
1619
01:12:56,745 --> 01:12:57,852
- No, no.
1620
01:12:57,852 --> 01:13:01,852
It's just not something
you can practice out of.
1621
01:13:06,020 --> 01:13:06,853
- [Boy In Gray] All right, let's go.
1622
01:13:06,853 --> 01:13:09,504
(drumsticks tapping)
1623
01:13:09,504 --> 01:13:11,144
- What is this stuff?
1624
01:13:11,144 --> 01:13:14,660
Pretty sure it's just
growing new stretchmarks.
1625
01:13:14,660 --> 01:13:16,429
♪ I'm here ♪
1626
01:13:16,429 --> 01:13:18,764
♪ Going down in flames ♪
1627
01:13:18,764 --> 01:13:20,928
♪ Tail spinning, she's to blame ♪
1628
01:13:20,928 --> 01:13:22,636
♪ I'm here ♪
1629
01:13:22,636 --> 01:13:24,617
♪ I'm outta control ♪
1630
01:13:24,617 --> 01:13:27,485
♪ Falling in love,
falling hard, you know ♪
1631
01:13:27,485 --> 01:13:28,646
(Kelly sighs)
1632
01:13:28,646 --> 01:13:29,534
Hello?
1633
01:13:29,534 --> 01:13:30,696
- Hey, stranger.
1634
01:13:30,696 --> 01:13:31,608
- Lisa.
1635
01:13:31,608 --> 01:13:34,565
Oh, god, Lisa, it's so
good to hear your voice.
1636
01:13:34,565 --> 01:13:37,397
- Yeah, I've missed yours too.
1637
01:13:37,397 --> 01:13:39,296
Can we meet some time to talk?
1638
01:13:39,296 --> 01:13:41,522
- Absolutely. Anytime,
anywhere, right now.
1639
01:13:41,522 --> 01:13:42,355
- Okay.
1640
01:13:42,355 --> 01:13:44,272
Bell tower, 15 minutes?
1641
01:13:45,171 --> 01:13:46,110
- I'm on my way.
1642
01:13:46,110 --> 01:13:47,943
And, Lisa, I love you.
1643
01:13:51,069 --> 01:13:56,069
♪ I'll say I'm sorry for the third time ♪
1644
01:13:56,800 --> 01:13:58,378
♪ I mean it now ♪
1645
01:13:58,378 --> 01:14:01,857
♪ I swear, I'll change my ways ♪
1646
01:14:01,857 --> 01:14:04,727
(thunder crackles)
1647
01:14:04,727 --> 01:14:08,280
♪ And I feel so small ♪
1648
01:14:08,280 --> 01:14:11,572
♪ From the weight of it all ♪
1649
01:14:11,572 --> 01:14:13,140
♪ Without you, girl ♪
1650
01:14:13,140 --> 01:14:17,265
♪ I reach for you more than ever ♪
1651
01:14:17,265 --> 01:14:20,306
(doors rattling)
1652
01:14:20,306 --> 01:14:21,572
(thunder crackles)
Lisa!
1653
01:14:21,572 --> 01:14:22,835
♪ Never alone ♪
1654
01:14:22,835 --> 01:14:27,285
♪ Even if I'm miles
away, so far from home ♪
1655
01:14:27,285 --> 01:14:28,461
(thunder crackles)
1656
01:14:28,461 --> 01:14:32,499
Lisa!
(thunder crackles)
1657
01:14:32,499 --> 01:14:34,173
(Kelly grunts)
(window shatters)
1658
01:14:34,173 --> 01:14:36,210
♪ 'Cause I'm so sad, you see ♪
1659
01:14:36,210 --> 01:14:38,156
♪ I miss everything about you, girl ♪
1660
01:14:38,156 --> 01:14:38,989
(Kelly grunts)
1661
01:14:38,989 --> 01:14:40,010
(bell clangs)
1662
01:14:40,010 --> 01:14:44,458
♪ One day, I'll be back
before you know it now ♪
1663
01:14:44,458 --> 01:14:47,530
♪ My love ♪
1664
01:14:47,530 --> 01:14:50,906
♪ You'll never be alone ♪
1665
01:14:50,906 --> 01:14:52,997
(lock clacks)
1666
01:14:52,997 --> 01:14:55,688
(rain pattering)
1667
01:14:55,688 --> 01:14:57,355
- Oh, you're soaked.
1668
01:14:58,778 --> 01:15:00,861
Take off this sweatshirt.
1669
01:15:06,125 --> 01:15:06,958
Here.
1670
01:15:07,926 --> 01:15:09,523
Put this on. It'll keep you warm.
1671
01:15:09,523 --> 01:15:10,692
- But won't your father-
1672
01:15:10,692 --> 01:15:12,672
- He'll never know.
1673
01:15:12,672 --> 01:15:15,755
Besides, I have a confession to make.
1674
01:15:17,551 --> 01:15:20,939
- Well, this is the right place.
1675
01:15:20,939 --> 01:15:24,100
Tell me, child, what is your sin?
1676
01:15:24,100 --> 01:15:25,670
- Hmm.
1677
01:15:25,670 --> 01:15:27,920
I have made a boy pregnant.
1678
01:15:29,550 --> 01:15:31,807
- Do you plan to do the right thing?
1679
01:15:31,807 --> 01:15:32,807
- Yes, I do.
1680
01:15:34,240 --> 01:15:35,870
I want my baby back.
1681
01:15:35,870 --> 01:15:36,989
- What?
1682
01:15:36,989 --> 01:15:39,499
- I want my baby back.
1683
01:15:39,499 --> 01:15:41,578
This isn't working, Kelly.
1684
01:15:41,578 --> 01:15:44,828
It was a crazy idea to even begin with.
1685
01:15:46,169 --> 01:15:48,158
- Speaking of crazy ideas, Lisa,
1686
01:15:48,158 --> 01:15:49,398
I'm eight and a half months pregnant.
1687
01:15:49,398 --> 01:15:51,176
You don't just switch
a baby back and forth.
1688
01:15:51,176 --> 01:15:52,498
- Well, you switched it with me!
1689
01:15:52,498 --> 01:15:54,678
- Yeah, that was different, it
was just a little speck then,
1690
01:15:54,678 --> 01:15:56,089
and now it's a monster.
1691
01:15:56,089 --> 01:15:58,677
- Don't you call my baby a monster.
1692
01:15:58,677 --> 01:16:00,628
If anybody here is a monster, it's you,
1693
01:16:00,628 --> 01:16:02,961
you crazy sci-fi experiment.
1694
01:16:04,528 --> 01:16:06,785
You're breaking all the laws of nature,
1695
01:16:06,785 --> 01:16:09,113
and I want my baby back.
1696
01:16:09,113 --> 01:16:10,425
- Yeah?
1697
01:16:10,425 --> 01:16:11,485
Well, you can't have him.
1698
01:16:11,485 --> 01:16:12,496
I know my rights.
1699
01:16:12,496 --> 01:16:15,492
Possession's 9/10 of the
law, and I'm possessed, baby!
1700
01:16:15,492 --> 01:16:17,909
- You need professional help.
1701
01:16:22,812 --> 01:16:25,084
- You're violating my inalienable rights.
1702
01:16:25,084 --> 01:16:27,420
Life, Liberty, and the
pursuit of childbearing.
1703
01:16:27,420 --> 01:16:28,877
I'll take you to the Supreme Court.
1704
01:16:28,877 --> 01:16:32,341
I'll sue for maternity,
paternity, custody, and lustody.
1705
01:16:32,341 --> 01:16:34,407
- You've lost it, big time!
1706
01:16:34,407 --> 01:16:35,861
- Every night, I lay in bed,
1707
01:16:35,861 --> 01:16:37,730
and my legs cramp like burnt pretzels,
1708
01:16:37,730 --> 01:16:39,629
my back feels like a linebacker hit me,
1709
01:16:39,629 --> 01:16:42,471
and my feet hurt so bad, I'd
rather walk over hot coals.
1710
01:16:42,471 --> 01:16:45,017
And what do I get in reward
for all my pain and suffering?
1711
01:16:45,017 --> 01:16:47,828
I get to throw up every
night into the toilet.
1712
01:16:47,828 --> 01:16:52,766
I've lost my car, my job, my
body, my friends, my grades.
1713
01:16:52,766 --> 01:16:55,244
How can anyone in their right
mind give up all that again?
1714
01:16:55,244 --> 01:16:56,077
Never, never!
1715
01:16:56,077 --> 01:16:57,974
Give me pregnancy, or give me death!
1716
01:16:57,974 --> 01:17:00,075
- You've cracked!
1717
01:17:00,075 --> 01:17:02,492
(door opens)
1718
01:17:05,996 --> 01:17:06,829
- Lisa.
1719
01:17:10,226 --> 01:17:11,827
(mud spatters)
1720
01:17:11,827 --> 01:17:13,324
(car rumbling)
1721
01:17:13,324 --> 01:17:14,157
Lisa!
1722
01:17:15,263 --> 01:17:17,134
(thunder crackles)
1723
01:17:17,134 --> 01:17:18,632
Lisa!
1724
01:17:18,632 --> 01:17:19,465
Lisa!
1725
01:17:20,775 --> 01:17:25,775
♪ Lost is where I'll be
on this midnight drive ♪
1726
01:17:26,223 --> 01:17:30,390
♪ Without knowing where I'm going ♪
1727
01:17:32,353 --> 01:17:33,421
(hand knocking)
1728
01:17:33,421 --> 01:17:34,282
What?
1729
01:17:34,282 --> 01:17:35,871
- It's Dad. Breakfast is ready.
1730
01:17:35,871 --> 01:17:37,288
- I'm not hungry.
1731
01:17:38,671 --> 01:17:40,061
- Am I hearing correctly?
1732
01:17:40,061 --> 01:17:42,026
Did you say you weren't hungry?
1733
01:17:42,026 --> 01:17:45,776
- Yeah. I'm just trying
to lose a few pounds.
1734
01:17:47,746 --> 01:17:49,314
- What's that you're working on?
1735
01:17:49,314 --> 01:17:50,295
- Just a song.
1736
01:17:50,295 --> 01:17:53,207
- For whom? The band that
you no longer belong to?
1737
01:17:53,207 --> 01:17:55,040
- For anyone, I guess.
1738
01:17:56,209 --> 01:17:58,552
I seem to write some of my best
stuff when I'm feeling down.
1739
01:17:58,552 --> 01:18:02,123
- Kelly, son, if you need
to talk about something,
1740
01:18:02,123 --> 01:18:05,083
you know the old man is
a pretty good listener.
1741
01:18:05,083 --> 01:18:06,112
- Yeah.
1742
01:18:06,112 --> 01:18:08,279
Thanks, Dad, but I just...
1743
01:18:09,563 --> 01:18:10,933
I can't.
1744
01:18:10,933 --> 01:18:12,311
- All right.
1745
01:18:12,311 --> 01:18:15,472
But when you're ready, I'll be here, son.
1746
01:18:15,472 --> 01:18:17,173
- Thanks, Dad.
1747
01:18:17,173 --> 01:18:18,232
- [Jeff] I love you.
1748
01:18:18,232 --> 01:18:19,373
- I love you too.
1749
01:18:19,373 --> 01:18:23,540
- You change your mind,
food's out in the kitchen.
1750
01:18:25,325 --> 01:18:28,325
(gentle jazz music)
1751
01:18:29,381 --> 01:18:32,603
- I can't wait until tomorrow.
1752
01:18:32,603 --> 01:18:33,436
- Why tomorrow?
1753
01:18:33,436 --> 01:18:35,593
- Because I get better looking every day.
1754
01:18:35,593 --> 01:18:39,041
I mean, is this the ultimate or what?
1755
01:18:39,041 --> 01:18:40,121
- You're looking good.
1756
01:18:40,121 --> 01:18:41,531
- "Good"?
1757
01:18:41,531 --> 01:18:42,529
I rock!
1758
01:18:42,529 --> 01:18:44,810
What girl could resist this eye candy?
1759
01:18:44,810 --> 01:18:48,454
- [Salesman] Does this meet
with your approval, sir?
1760
01:18:48,454 --> 01:18:49,362
- Nah.
1761
01:18:49,362 --> 01:18:51,444
It's not quite me.
1762
01:18:51,444 --> 01:18:53,277
I need something more.
1763
01:18:54,444 --> 01:18:55,277
- Hm.
1764
01:18:56,767 --> 01:18:57,716
- What about my friend here?
1765
01:18:57,716 --> 01:18:59,003
What could you fix him up with?
1766
01:18:59,003 --> 01:19:00,133
(salesman chuckles)
1767
01:19:00,133 --> 01:19:01,274
- A circus?
1768
01:19:01,274 --> 01:19:03,405
(salesman laughs)
1769
01:19:03,405 --> 01:19:05,085
- I mean something to wear.
1770
01:19:05,085 --> 01:19:07,898
Something stylish, but also down to earth.
1771
01:19:07,898 --> 01:19:08,959
- A tent maybe.
1772
01:19:08,959 --> 01:19:11,792
(salesman laughs)
1773
01:19:13,818 --> 01:19:16,558
- Come on, Kelly, this isn't
the only tux shop in town.
1774
01:19:16,558 --> 01:19:18,258
(salesman laughs)
1775
01:19:18,258 --> 01:19:21,258
(upbeat rock music)
1776
01:19:24,153 --> 01:19:25,538
Let's try in here.
1777
01:19:25,538 --> 01:19:26,807
- Are you crazy?
1778
01:19:26,807 --> 01:19:28,627
That's for pregnant women.
1779
01:19:28,627 --> 01:19:30,329
- Hey, you're halfway home.
1780
01:19:30,329 --> 01:19:31,162
Come on.
1781
01:19:33,509 --> 01:19:36,092
(bell jingles)
1782
01:19:36,929 --> 01:19:38,507
Dude.
1783
01:19:38,507 --> 01:19:39,859
Dude.
1784
01:19:39,859 --> 01:19:41,638
50% off.
1785
01:19:41,638 --> 01:19:45,315
(gentle guitar music)
1786
01:19:45,315 --> 01:19:46,608
- What are you-
- Take a little look-see.
1787
01:19:46,608 --> 01:19:48,333
Here, just relax. You know?
1788
01:19:48,333 --> 01:19:51,654
(Ditto grunts)
1789
01:19:51,654 --> 01:19:53,145
How do they feel?
- Get your minds
1790
01:19:53,145 --> 01:19:57,895
out of the gutter and your
filthy paws off the delicates.
1791
01:19:59,297 --> 01:20:00,380
- Sorry, sir.
1792
01:20:03,639 --> 01:20:05,414
We were just looking for Mom.
1793
01:20:05,414 --> 01:20:06,392
- I'm Mom.
1794
01:20:06,392 --> 01:20:08,387
- Of course you are.
1795
01:20:08,387 --> 01:20:12,027
And how long until you're expecting?
1796
01:20:12,027 --> 01:20:13,444
- Expecting what?
1797
01:20:14,728 --> 01:20:17,811
- Expecting the next shipment of bras
1798
01:20:18,808 --> 01:20:20,592
and panties to come in.
1799
01:20:20,592 --> 01:20:22,232
(Mom sighs)
1800
01:20:22,232 --> 01:20:24,206
- Tell me you're not here for the panties.
1801
01:20:24,206 --> 01:20:25,817
- Actually, we're just looking
1802
01:20:25,817 --> 01:20:29,180
for some formal wear suitable for a dance.
1803
01:20:29,180 --> 01:20:30,802
- Preferably with some pants.
1804
01:20:30,802 --> 01:20:32,801
- Oh, couldn't imagine it without.
1805
01:20:32,801 --> 01:20:36,252
- See? I told you we
came to the right place.
1806
01:20:36,252 --> 01:20:39,070
- Would this be for your mother?
1807
01:20:39,070 --> 01:20:39,903
Sister?
1808
01:20:40,902 --> 01:20:42,969
- Mother.
- Sister.
1809
01:20:42,969 --> 01:20:44,329
- I see.
1810
01:20:44,329 --> 01:20:46,053
How far along is she?
1811
01:20:46,053 --> 01:20:48,408
- She's pretty far.
1812
01:20:48,408 --> 01:20:49,825
- How big is she?
1813
01:20:50,797 --> 01:20:51,946
- Pretty big.
1814
01:20:51,946 --> 01:20:53,456
- Look, I would have to have
1815
01:20:53,456 --> 01:20:55,203
more precise measurements, okay?
1816
01:20:55,203 --> 01:20:57,120
- Then take fatso here.
1817
01:20:58,269 --> 01:21:02,390
He's pretty close to what my
mom, his sister, looks like.
1818
01:21:02,390 --> 01:21:04,030
(Mom chuckles)
1819
01:21:04,030 --> 01:21:07,600
- I can't resist seeing where this goes.
1820
01:21:07,600 --> 01:21:08,433
Move.
1821
01:21:09,280 --> 01:21:10,697
Come here, fatso.
1822
01:21:12,662 --> 01:21:13,495
Okay.
1823
01:21:14,344 --> 01:21:15,261
Here we go.
1824
01:21:19,792 --> 01:21:20,625
Wow.
1825
01:21:21,624 --> 01:21:23,957
(Mom sighs)
1826
01:21:25,451 --> 01:21:28,179
Let me see what I have in the back.
1827
01:21:28,179 --> 01:21:29,012
Wow.
1828
01:21:31,251 --> 01:21:32,889
- My mother, your sister?
1829
01:21:32,889 --> 01:21:34,209
I mean, seriously?
1830
01:21:34,209 --> 01:21:35,532
Dude, let's just get outta here.
1831
01:21:35,532 --> 01:21:36,838
- Just chill, man.
1832
01:21:36,838 --> 01:21:38,706
We're making definite progress.
1833
01:21:38,706 --> 01:21:40,285
- Yeah.
1834
01:21:40,285 --> 01:21:42,618
(Mom sighs)
1835
01:21:45,314 --> 01:21:47,234
- You're in luck.
1836
01:21:47,234 --> 01:21:49,477
My debutante dress.
1837
01:21:49,477 --> 01:21:50,546
- Yes!
1838
01:21:50,546 --> 01:21:53,218
- No.
- Yes, it's stunning.
1839
01:21:53,218 --> 01:21:55,160
- It's not really what I had in mind.
1840
01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:57,960
- Well, let us not be
hasty in our decision.
1841
01:21:57,960 --> 01:22:01,961
I think this outfit has a lot
of interesting possibilities.
1842
01:22:01,961 --> 01:22:05,102
I mean, to be fairly judged,
1843
01:22:05,102 --> 01:22:06,812
I think you've got to try it on.
1844
01:22:06,812 --> 01:22:08,233
- What?
1845
01:22:08,233 --> 01:22:10,324
- [Mom] Go for it.
1846
01:22:10,324 --> 01:22:14,842
- Certainly, to be sure of
the fit and match and so on.
1847
01:22:14,842 --> 01:22:17,473
- The dressing rooms are to your right.
1848
01:22:17,473 --> 01:22:20,442
Oh, I'm getting my camera.
1849
01:22:20,442 --> 01:22:23,068
- No.
- Let's just see how it looks.
1850
01:22:23,068 --> 01:22:24,901
No one will ever know.
1851
01:22:33,911 --> 01:22:34,744
Oh.
1852
01:22:37,600 --> 01:22:38,690
Ravishing.
1853
01:22:38,690 --> 01:22:39,850
Simply ravishing.
1854
01:22:39,850 --> 01:22:42,165
Why, if I didn't already
have a date, I would-
1855
01:22:42,165 --> 01:22:43,251
- Stop it, Ditto.
1856
01:22:43,251 --> 01:22:47,291
I mean, (sighs) got to
say, it is stunning,
1857
01:22:47,291 --> 01:22:49,908
but I'm not gonna do it.
1858
01:22:49,908 --> 01:22:51,073
(Ditto sighs)
1859
01:22:51,073 --> 01:22:53,990
What? I'm not wearing this to prom!
1860
01:22:56,951 --> 01:22:59,473
- Vandalous juvenile delinquents.
1861
01:22:59,473 --> 01:23:03,113
If I ever find out who's
responsible for this,
1862
01:23:03,113 --> 01:23:05,865
oh, Lord, bring forth
your righteous indignation
1863
01:23:05,865 --> 01:23:08,844
and turn him into a pillar of salt.
1864
01:23:08,844 --> 01:23:10,073
(Reverend Weld grunts)
1865
01:23:10,073 --> 01:23:12,041
(Reverend Weld sighs)
1866
01:23:12,041 --> 01:23:13,540
- [Lisa] Daddy?
1867
01:23:13,540 --> 01:23:16,903
- Lisa, sweetheart,
what are you doing here?
1868
01:23:16,903 --> 01:23:19,581
- Nothing, I just sort
of had this question
1869
01:23:19,581 --> 01:23:21,490
that's been bothering me for a while.
1870
01:23:21,490 --> 01:23:22,381
- Well, of course, of course.
1871
01:23:22,381 --> 01:23:27,218
You know you can always
come to me for the answers.
1872
01:23:27,218 --> 01:23:28,949
So, speak up.
1873
01:23:28,949 --> 01:23:29,866
What is it?
1874
01:23:30,947 --> 01:23:32,237
Speak.
1875
01:23:32,237 --> 01:23:33,070
- Okay.
- Just speak.
1876
01:23:33,070 --> 01:23:34,040
- Okay.
1877
01:23:34,040 --> 01:23:34,957
- Speak up.
1878
01:23:36,007 --> 01:23:38,924
- Well, what if there's this person
1879
01:23:39,776 --> 01:23:43,007
who's doing a huge favor for someone,
1880
01:23:43,007 --> 01:23:46,687
even though it's causing him
a lot of suffering to do it,
1881
01:23:46,687 --> 01:23:49,549
should the person receiving the favor
1882
01:23:49,549 --> 01:23:52,120
come forward and confess,
1883
01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:54,368
even though she may be horribly murdered?
1884
01:23:54,368 --> 01:23:56,808
(Reverend Weld laughs)
1885
01:23:56,808 --> 01:23:57,989
(Reverend Weld sighs)
1886
01:23:57,989 --> 01:24:01,120
- You know, I see right through
this charade, little lady.
1887
01:24:01,120 --> 01:24:02,142
- You do?
- Oh, yes.
1888
01:24:02,142 --> 01:24:04,784
I can just imagine the fine mess
1889
01:24:04,784 --> 01:24:06,966
you've gotten yourself into.
1890
01:24:06,966 --> 01:24:07,799
- You can?
1891
01:24:08,734 --> 01:24:12,151
- Lisa, kids have the same problems today
1892
01:24:13,212 --> 01:24:14,999
as they did when I was growing up.
1893
01:24:14,999 --> 01:24:17,811
I know you think you're the
only person in the world
1894
01:24:17,811 --> 01:24:22,491
this has happened to, but,
I assure you, you're not.
1895
01:24:22,491 --> 01:24:27,491
Lisa, the same thing happened
to me when I was a teenager.
1896
01:24:27,500 --> 01:24:28,361
- It did?
1897
01:24:28,361 --> 01:24:29,377
- Mm-hm. Yeah.
1898
01:24:29,377 --> 01:24:30,210
Oh.
1899
01:24:30,210 --> 01:24:34,328
I still remember doing all of
those extra homework papers
1900
01:24:34,328 --> 01:24:36,757
for my friends so they
too would get good grades.
1901
01:24:36,757 --> 01:24:38,008
- What?
1902
01:24:38,008 --> 01:24:38,907
- That's it, right?
1903
01:24:38,907 --> 01:24:40,408
- What?
- The homework?
1904
01:24:40,408 --> 01:24:42,741
- I-
- Lisa, you are so kind.
1905
01:24:44,545 --> 01:24:46,559
You are so giving.
1906
01:24:46,559 --> 01:24:48,242
Don't let people take advantage of you.
1907
01:24:48,242 --> 01:24:49,659
My advice to you,
1908
01:24:50,642 --> 01:24:54,225
tell your friends to
do their own homework.
1909
01:24:55,562 --> 01:24:57,395
- Sure, Daddy. I will.
1910
01:24:58,269 --> 01:25:02,102
- Just know I always
have the answers for you.
1911
01:25:04,730 --> 01:25:06,519
Take care, sweetie.
1912
01:25:06,519 --> 01:25:08,799
Let them do their homework.
1913
01:25:08,799 --> 01:25:10,049
Oh, kids today,
1914
01:25:12,839 --> 01:25:14,922
one crisis after another.
1915
01:25:20,781 --> 01:25:22,030
- What the?!
1916
01:25:22,030 --> 01:25:23,613
Get! Get, get, get!
1917
01:25:24,643 --> 01:25:26,462
(Principal Miller groans)
1918
01:25:26,462 --> 01:25:28,750
(Principal Miller sighs)
1919
01:25:28,750 --> 01:25:30,659
Milton, this better be good.
1920
01:25:30,659 --> 01:25:31,492
- Oh.
1921
01:25:33,071 --> 01:25:34,629
(Principal Miller sighs)
1922
01:25:34,629 --> 01:25:37,546
(suspicious music)
1923
01:25:41,141 --> 01:25:42,308
- Interesting.
1924
01:25:44,150 --> 01:25:46,233
Very interesting, Milton.
1925
01:25:49,288 --> 01:25:50,339
You may stand at ease.
1926
01:25:50,339 --> 01:25:51,291
- Thank you, sir.
1927
01:25:51,291 --> 01:25:52,720
I can tell there is something
1928
01:25:52,720 --> 01:25:56,210
quite extraordinary about Kelly Hankins.
1929
01:25:56,210 --> 01:25:58,321
I've compiled several pages of behavior
1930
01:25:58,321 --> 01:26:00,904
which are extremely suspicious.
1931
01:26:01,750 --> 01:26:05,201
Oh, I believe that some
snitch-worthy material
1932
01:26:05,201 --> 01:26:07,289
will pop out on him very soon.
1933
01:26:07,289 --> 01:26:09,372
- Excellent work, Milton.
1934
01:26:10,217 --> 01:26:12,217
See to it that you're
there to uncover the story.
1935
01:26:12,217 --> 01:26:16,300
I will have no scandal in
my school go unexposed.
1936
01:26:17,998 --> 01:26:20,147
- What are you going
to the prom for anyway?
1937
01:26:20,147 --> 01:26:23,457
You're too fat to dance, and
you haven't even got a date!
1938
01:26:23,457 --> 01:26:24,558
- I'm going for the principle.
1939
01:26:24,558 --> 01:26:26,939
- You have a date with Principal Miller?!
1940
01:26:26,939 --> 01:26:29,465
- No, stupid, I'm going
because I won't let anyone
1941
01:26:29,465 --> 01:26:31,985
or anything stop me
from doing what I want.
1942
01:26:31,985 --> 01:26:33,795
Kelly Hankins runs his own race.
1943
01:26:33,795 --> 01:26:38,065
- Kelly Hankins is too fat
to walk, much less run.
1944
01:26:38,065 --> 01:26:41,225
Where'd you get that
screwball outfit from anyway?
1945
01:26:41,225 --> 01:26:42,370
- The costume store.
1946
01:26:42,370 --> 01:26:43,759
It was only tux that fit.
1947
01:26:43,759 --> 01:26:45,190
Now, come over and help me with my shoes.
1948
01:26:45,190 --> 01:26:48,857
I want to make sure my
outfit doesn't clash.
1949
01:26:49,847 --> 01:26:51,120
- Pfft.
1950
01:26:51,120 --> 01:26:54,120
(upbeat rock music)
1951
01:27:01,175 --> 01:27:06,175
♪ Beware of the man whose
middle name is Danger ♪
1952
01:27:06,797 --> 01:27:08,115
♪ Danger ♪
1953
01:27:08,115 --> 01:27:13,115
♪ He has no friends, no,
he couldn't be stranger ♪
1954
01:27:13,943 --> 01:27:15,943
♪ So be warned ♪
1955
01:27:15,943 --> 01:27:20,943
♪ You mess with The Shadow,
you mess with our town ♪
1956
01:27:21,922 --> 01:27:22,887
♪ Bye-bye ♪
1957
01:27:22,887 --> 01:27:27,887
♪ You mess with The Shadow,
he's gonna take you down ♪
1958
01:27:28,757 --> 01:27:32,178
♪ Oh, yeah, you're done ♪
1959
01:27:32,178 --> 01:27:35,678
♪ You're going down, yeah ♪
1960
01:27:39,978 --> 01:27:42,478
(Kelly sighs)
1961
01:27:44,048 --> 01:27:46,631
(gentle music)
1962
01:27:48,166 --> 01:27:53,002
♪ All out of excuses ♪
1963
01:27:53,002 --> 01:27:58,002
♪ 'Cause I've never, no,
I've never been so wrong ♪
1964
01:27:58,789 --> 01:28:02,970
♪ All those things I should have said ♪
1965
01:28:02,970 --> 01:28:05,331
♪ The noise fills my head ♪
1966
01:28:05,331 --> 01:28:10,331
♪ And how I miss, miss your sweet song ♪
1967
01:28:11,363 --> 01:28:12,708
♪ Tell me ♪
1968
01:28:12,708 --> 01:28:13,541
(car horn honking)
1969
01:28:13,541 --> 01:28:17,004
♪ How long, how long ♪
1970
01:28:17,004 --> 01:28:22,004
♪ How long will your
name leave me in pieces ♪
1971
01:28:23,986 --> 01:28:28,986
♪ Tell me how long, how long ♪
1972
01:28:29,567 --> 01:28:34,567
♪ How long till your heart
forgets mine completely ♪
1973
01:28:36,695 --> 01:28:38,945
♪ How long ♪
1974
01:28:40,317 --> 01:28:42,745
- [Kelly] Hey, Principal
Miller, Nurse Zelda.
1975
01:28:42,745 --> 01:28:47,140
- [Principal Miller] Hey.
Buenos noches, Senor Hankins.
1976
01:28:47,140 --> 01:28:48,242
- Meow.
1977
01:28:48,242 --> 01:28:49,075
- [Principal Miller] You're looking quite
1978
01:28:49,075 --> 01:28:50,831
festive this evening.
1979
01:28:50,831 --> 01:28:52,333
- Ay caramba.
1980
01:28:52,333 --> 01:28:54,610
- Would you like some punch, Nurse Zelda?
1981
01:28:54,610 --> 01:28:56,943
- That sounds mouthwatering.
1982
01:28:59,921 --> 01:29:03,504
♪ I'm alone and I'm a fool ♪
1983
01:29:06,290 --> 01:29:07,790
(Principal Miller sniffs)
1984
01:29:07,790 --> 01:29:12,790
♪ So sure we were forever ♪
1985
01:29:13,788 --> 01:29:18,552
♪ Was I wrong, was I confused ♪
1986
01:29:18,552 --> 01:29:22,300
♪ You see, I lost my way ♪
1987
01:29:22,300 --> 01:29:24,848
♪ And I lost my faith ♪
1988
01:29:24,848 --> 01:29:28,348
♪ Yeah, I lost everything ♪
1989
01:29:29,298 --> 01:29:30,901
- Exquisite threads, my man.
1990
01:29:30,901 --> 01:29:34,482
I'm totally envious of how
well your tie and shoes match.
1991
01:29:34,482 --> 01:29:36,150
- You look pretty good too, Ditto.
1992
01:29:36,150 --> 01:29:38,189
- Just a little spur of the moment thing
1993
01:29:38,189 --> 01:29:40,170
that I threw together.
1994
01:29:40,170 --> 01:29:44,753
Did you recognize the glorious
creature that walked by?
1995
01:29:46,509 --> 01:29:47,560
- No.
1996
01:29:47,560 --> 01:29:49,079
What glorious creature?
1997
01:29:49,079 --> 01:29:52,079
- The one with the big, pink orchid.
1998
01:29:54,012 --> 01:29:54,845
Yeah?
1999
01:29:55,852 --> 01:29:58,001
- Guess I didn't notice.
2000
01:29:58,001 --> 01:30:00,911
- Well, every other jockstrap
neanderthal in here did.
2001
01:30:00,911 --> 01:30:02,351
It's Lisa.
2002
01:30:02,351 --> 01:30:03,262
You remember?
2003
01:30:03,262 --> 01:30:04,461
Your ex?
2004
01:30:04,461 --> 01:30:05,878
Previous passion?
2005
01:30:07,554 --> 01:30:10,263
- She's looking kinda
sickly, don't you think?
2006
01:30:10,263 --> 01:30:12,002
- "Sickly"?
2007
01:30:12,002 --> 01:30:13,196
(hand patting)
Sure, Kel.
2008
01:30:13,196 --> 01:30:15,859
She's falling apart without you.
2009
01:30:15,859 --> 01:30:17,319
Hey! Debbie!
2010
01:30:17,319 --> 01:30:18,569
Debbie. Debbie.
2011
01:30:19,579 --> 01:30:21,951
Why don't you take this poor, sad soul
2012
01:30:21,951 --> 01:30:24,754
out onto the dance floor
and check for signs of life?
2013
01:30:24,754 --> 01:30:26,391
There you go. Okay.
2014
01:30:26,391 --> 01:30:28,691
Attagirl. Thank you, Debbie.
2015
01:30:28,691 --> 01:30:30,250
Nurse.
2016
01:30:30,250 --> 01:30:35,250
♪ The Shadow, he never makes a sound ♪
2017
01:30:35,381 --> 01:30:36,214
♪ No, no ♪
2018
01:30:36,214 --> 01:30:41,214
♪ Never see The Shadow
until he takes you down ♪
2019
01:30:42,140 --> 01:30:45,654
♪ Oh, yeah, you're done ♪
2020
01:30:45,654 --> 01:30:48,822
♪ You're going down, yeah ♪
2021
01:30:48,822 --> 01:30:52,439
(car rumbling)
(tires screeching)
2022
01:30:52,439 --> 01:30:53,719
- You guys sound great.
2023
01:30:53,719 --> 01:30:54,951
- Thanks, Kelly.
2024
01:30:54,951 --> 01:30:56,830
Sorry you couldn't be a part of this.
2025
01:30:56,830 --> 01:30:58,865
- Yeah, I was hoping, for old time's sake,
2026
01:30:58,865 --> 01:31:00,524
that you guys would just,
2027
01:31:00,524 --> 01:31:03,607
I don't know, play this song with me?
2028
01:31:09,102 --> 01:31:10,593
- Sure.
- Yeah, okay.
2029
01:31:10,593 --> 01:31:13,760
(gentle guitar music)
2030
01:31:18,500 --> 01:31:23,500
♪ Do you know how it feels ♪
2031
01:31:25,392 --> 01:31:30,392
♪ Do you know what it's like ♪
2032
01:31:32,303 --> 01:31:37,303
♪ Nothing goes how it's planned ♪
2033
01:31:39,223 --> 01:31:44,153
♪ No one's left on your side ♪
2034
01:31:44,153 --> 01:31:49,153
♪ I keep on waiting for
you to come back around ♪
2035
01:31:51,132 --> 01:31:56,132
♪ I keep on trying to figure out ♪
2036
01:31:58,012 --> 01:32:00,620
♪ Where did I go wrong ♪
2037
01:32:00,620 --> 01:32:04,939
♪ How did this happen ♪
2038
01:32:04,939 --> 01:32:07,420
♪ Where did we go wrong ♪
2039
01:32:07,420 --> 01:32:12,420
♪ My whole world is crashing ♪
2040
01:32:12,761 --> 01:32:16,519
♪ If you love me like you said you did ♪
2041
01:32:16,519 --> 01:32:18,799
♪ Then how'd we get to this ♪
2042
01:32:18,799 --> 01:32:22,287
♪ Where did I go wrong ♪
2043
01:32:22,287 --> 01:32:27,287
♪ Where did we go wrong ♪
2044
01:32:27,839 --> 01:32:32,839
♪ I thought we wanted the same ♪
2045
01:32:34,946 --> 01:32:39,946
♪ Maybe you're just too scared ♪
2046
01:32:41,748 --> 01:32:46,748
♪ I try and handle the pain ♪
2047
01:32:48,675 --> 01:32:53,649
♪ But guess you want it that way ♪
2048
01:32:53,649 --> 01:32:58,649
♪ I keep on waiting for
you to come back around ♪
2049
01:33:00,641 --> 01:33:05,641
♪ I keep on trying to figure out ♪
2050
01:33:07,569 --> 01:33:10,150
♪ Where did I go wrong ♪
2051
01:33:10,150 --> 01:33:14,481
♪ How did this happen ♪
2052
01:33:14,481 --> 01:33:16,870
♪ Where did I go wrong ♪
2053
01:33:16,870 --> 01:33:21,870
♪ My whole world is crashing ♪
2054
01:33:22,332 --> 01:33:26,041
♪ If you love like you said you did ♪
2055
01:33:26,041 --> 01:33:28,188
♪ Then how'd we get to this ♪
2056
01:33:28,188 --> 01:33:31,742
♪ So where did I go wrong ♪
2057
01:33:31,742 --> 01:33:36,662
♪ Where did we go wrong ♪
2058
01:33:36,662 --> 01:33:39,753
♪ I will be here even
though you're scared ♪
2059
01:33:39,753 --> 01:33:43,233
♪ And treat me this way ♪
2060
01:33:43,233 --> 01:33:46,300
♪ 'Cause I said I'll always love you ♪
2061
01:33:46,300 --> 01:33:51,300
♪ And that won't ever change ♪
2062
01:33:51,942 --> 01:33:54,449
♪ Where did I go wrong ♪
2063
01:33:54,449 --> 01:33:58,873
♪ How did this happen ♪
2064
01:33:58,873 --> 01:34:01,320
♪ Where did I go wrong ♪
2065
01:34:01,320 --> 01:34:06,320
♪ My whole world is crashing ♪
2066
01:34:06,790 --> 01:34:10,550
♪ If you love me like you said you did ♪
2067
01:34:10,550 --> 01:34:12,589
♪ Then how'd we get to this ♪
2068
01:34:12,589 --> 01:34:16,260
♪ So where did I go wrong ♪
2069
01:34:16,260 --> 01:34:19,593
♪ Where did we go wrong ♪
2070
01:34:22,508 --> 01:34:27,381
(students applauding)
(students chattering)
2071
01:34:27,381 --> 01:34:28,978
- Attention, attention.
2072
01:34:28,978 --> 01:34:29,811
Students.
2073
01:34:30,789 --> 01:34:31,622
Attention.
2074
01:34:32,973 --> 01:34:34,067
Move.
2075
01:34:34,067 --> 01:34:35,267
Settle down, people.
2076
01:34:35,267 --> 01:34:36,688
Settle down.
2077
01:34:36,688 --> 01:34:39,468
Well, I trust we are
all enjoying the evening
2078
01:34:39,468 --> 01:34:41,842
like responsible, mature adults.
2079
01:34:41,842 --> 01:34:42,833
(student farts)
2080
01:34:42,833 --> 01:34:44,852
(students laughing)
2081
01:34:44,852 --> 01:34:48,185
At this time, it is my honor to announce
2082
01:34:49,559 --> 01:34:51,726
this year's valedictorian!
2083
01:34:53,441 --> 01:34:56,608
Now, we always take into consideration
2084
01:34:58,308 --> 01:34:59,933
the grades and contributions
2085
01:34:59,933 --> 01:35:03,873
throughout all four years
here at Butterhill High.
2086
01:35:03,873 --> 01:35:07,017
And while this particular individual
2087
01:35:07,017 --> 01:35:10,767
may have crashed and
burned late in the year,
2088
01:35:12,571 --> 01:35:16,204
the award still goes to Kelly Hankins!
2089
01:35:16,204 --> 01:35:18,181
(students applauding)
2090
01:35:18,181 --> 01:35:19,014
Yay.
2091
01:35:20,764 --> 01:35:23,844
Congratulations, Kelly, and
we look forward to hearing
2092
01:35:23,844 --> 01:35:28,011
your words of wisdom at
the graduation ceremonies.
2093
01:35:30,041 --> 01:35:32,374
And now, the backward dance!
2094
01:35:33,886 --> 01:35:37,606
So, ladies, grab a partner
other than your own!
2095
01:35:37,606 --> 01:35:39,130
Woo! Woo!
2096
01:35:39,130 --> 01:35:41,078
Raise the thing.
2097
01:35:41,078 --> 01:35:43,395
(students chattering)
2098
01:35:43,395 --> 01:35:47,908
♪ Don't look away ♪
2099
01:35:47,908 --> 01:35:49,991
♪ Please ♪
2100
01:35:51,290 --> 01:35:53,368
- You're my choice, lover boy.
2101
01:35:53,368 --> 01:35:55,060
- [Kelly] What are you doing?
2102
01:35:55,060 --> 01:35:55,957
(alcohol splashing)
2103
01:35:55,957 --> 01:35:57,991
- Hey, Bronco, don't look now,
2104
01:35:57,991 --> 01:35:59,292
but there's a bee on your flower.
2105
01:35:59,292 --> 01:36:00,796
(long-haired boy chuckles)
- Yeah, man.
2106
01:36:00,796 --> 01:36:02,673
It's like he's trying to get
some honey for his stinger.
2107
01:36:02,673 --> 01:36:06,923
- Yeah.
(short-haired boy chuckles)
2108
01:36:09,894 --> 01:36:11,782
(Candy screams)
2109
01:36:11,782 --> 01:36:13,532
- Something poked me!
2110
01:36:16,302 --> 01:36:18,898
- Ditto?!
- You perverted slime!
2111
01:36:18,898 --> 01:36:20,099
- [Kelly] Ditto!
2112
01:36:20,099 --> 01:36:21,840
(Bronco groans)
2113
01:36:21,840 --> 01:36:23,090
- He's-
- What?!
2114
01:36:24,049 --> 01:36:25,466
- He is pregnant!
2115
01:36:26,301 --> 01:36:27,728
(students gasping)
Yeah, that's right,
2116
01:36:27,728 --> 01:36:30,895
Kelly Hankins is gonna to have a baby!
2117
01:36:31,754 --> 01:36:33,784
(Milton laughs)
2118
01:36:33,784 --> 01:36:36,951
(students chattering)
2119
01:36:42,452 --> 01:36:43,972
- [Ditto] Hey. Come on.
2120
01:36:43,972 --> 01:36:46,991
- Extra, extra, read all about it.
2121
01:36:46,991 --> 01:36:49,145
Baby boom at Butterhill High.
2122
01:36:49,145 --> 01:36:52,006
How does it feel to be Milton's mamaboy?
2123
01:36:52,006 --> 01:36:55,209
- He's probably after the Pulitzer Prize.
2124
01:36:55,209 --> 01:36:56,775
I mean, can you believe this?
2125
01:36:56,775 --> 01:36:59,327
Can you believe the slanderous
things he's saying about me?
2126
01:36:59,327 --> 01:37:01,569
- They're all true, aren't they?
2127
01:37:01,569 --> 01:37:03,038
- That's besides the point.
2128
01:37:03,038 --> 01:37:06,046
I mean, he doesn't have to
make it sound so unusual.
2129
01:37:06,046 --> 01:37:08,436
- Yeah, he takes an ordinary story
2130
01:37:08,436 --> 01:37:10,796
and tries to sensationalize it.
2131
01:37:10,796 --> 01:37:13,787
Are you ever planning to
visit the outside world again?
2132
01:37:13,787 --> 01:37:17,206
'Cause if you're not, I sure
could use your baseball mitt.
2133
01:37:17,206 --> 01:37:18,385
- Just because a guy likes to spend
2134
01:37:18,385 --> 01:37:19,966
a couple of days alone in his room
2135
01:37:19,966 --> 01:37:22,137
doesn't mean that he's
looking to join a monastery.
2136
01:37:22,137 --> 01:37:27,129
And besides, I like spending
time with, uh, my goldfish.
2137
01:37:27,129 --> 01:37:29,747
- Yeah, that goldfish
is the only social life
2138
01:37:29,747 --> 01:37:31,957
you'll be seeing for a while.
2139
01:37:31,957 --> 01:37:34,585
Sorry to interrupt your date.
2140
01:37:34,585 --> 01:37:36,248
Don't forget about the mitt.
2141
01:37:36,248 --> 01:37:37,081
- Yeah.
2142
01:37:38,331 --> 01:37:41,392
(Kelly sighs)
(door closes)
2143
01:37:41,392 --> 01:37:42,225
(hand knocking)
2144
01:37:42,225 --> 01:37:43,732
You can't have my mitt, you vulture!
2145
01:37:43,732 --> 01:37:45,772
(dart clatters)
2146
01:37:45,772 --> 01:37:48,732
- Really wasn't interested in your mitt.
2147
01:37:48,732 --> 01:37:50,092
But maybe your car.
2148
01:37:50,092 --> 01:37:52,009
- Sorry, Dad, too late.
2149
01:37:54,671 --> 01:37:58,132
- I just had a long talk
with your Uncle Theus,
2150
01:37:58,132 --> 01:38:01,092
and he told me everything.
2151
01:38:01,092 --> 01:38:03,425
Son, I've never had a reason
2152
01:38:04,332 --> 01:38:06,783
to be anything other than proud of you,
2153
01:38:06,783 --> 01:38:09,043
and I want you to know
that that still stands.
2154
01:38:09,043 --> 01:38:12,723
- But, Dad, aren't you ashamed
when you walk down the street
2155
01:38:12,723 --> 01:38:14,138
and people point and whisper,
2156
01:38:14,138 --> 01:38:15,971
"There goes the father of that mamaboy"?
2157
01:38:15,971 --> 01:38:17,201
"Eighth wonder of the world."
2158
01:38:17,201 --> 01:38:18,219
"Freak of nature."
2159
01:38:18,219 --> 01:38:20,539
- Is that what you think?
2160
01:38:20,539 --> 01:38:23,219
Son, that couldn't be
further from the truth.
2161
01:38:23,219 --> 01:38:27,140
The man upstairs, he
asked you for a big favor,
2162
01:38:27,140 --> 01:38:32,140
one with tremendous sacrifice,
and you haven't let him down.
2163
01:38:32,551 --> 01:38:34,968
And you've never let me down.
2164
01:38:36,516 --> 01:38:38,881
- It's a lot more difficult
than I thought it would be.
2165
01:38:38,881 --> 01:38:41,609
I mean, I could never imagine
doing this a second time.
2166
01:38:41,609 --> 01:38:42,929
Mothers are amazing.
2167
01:38:42,929 --> 01:38:44,679
- Aren't they though?
2168
01:38:46,321 --> 01:38:48,684
Family's going to be going
to church this morning.
2169
01:38:48,684 --> 01:38:50,319
Will you be joining us?
2170
01:38:50,319 --> 01:38:51,801
- Pretty sure if I
showed my face at church,
2171
01:38:51,801 --> 01:38:53,729
Reverend Weld would go ballistic.
2172
01:38:53,729 --> 01:38:56,601
I mean, I must have broken every
religious rule in the book.
2173
01:38:56,601 --> 01:38:57,689
- Ah.
2174
01:38:57,689 --> 01:38:59,691
I've never been a fan of religious rules.
2175
01:38:59,691 --> 01:39:02,572
"Do this, do that, do this, do that."
2176
01:39:02,572 --> 01:39:04,841
By the time you're done, you're
nothing but a big doo-doo.
2177
01:39:04,841 --> 01:39:06,012
(Kelly chuckles)
2178
01:39:06,012 --> 01:39:08,829
Look, we don't have all the answers, son.
2179
01:39:08,829 --> 01:39:10,492
But I do know this,
2180
01:39:10,492 --> 01:39:14,132
God, he has a plan and a purpose for you.
2181
01:39:14,132 --> 01:39:17,012
And no matter what you go through in life,
2182
01:39:17,012 --> 01:39:18,468
you need not be afraid,
2183
01:39:18,468 --> 01:39:21,313
because all things work together for good.
2184
01:39:21,313 --> 01:39:25,593
God's got your back, so do I.
(hand patting)
2185
01:39:25,593 --> 01:39:26,913
- Thanks, Dad.
2186
01:39:26,913 --> 01:39:30,913
Life just seems a lot
less scary inside my room.
2187
01:39:33,011 --> 01:39:35,921
- You know, Kelly, you could
probably live in your room
2188
01:39:35,921 --> 01:39:37,401
for the rest of your life,
2189
01:39:37,401 --> 01:39:40,273
and nothing bad would ever happen to you.
2190
01:39:40,273 --> 01:39:42,153
But then again, son,
2191
01:39:42,153 --> 01:39:45,903
nothing good would ever
happen to you either.
2192
01:39:51,278 --> 01:39:54,028
(Theus grunting)
2193
01:39:54,893 --> 01:39:56,949
(spoon tapping)
2194
01:39:56,949 --> 01:40:00,969
- Buon appetito, furry
little pregnant friend.
2195
01:40:00,969 --> 01:40:04,052
Uncle Theus has made your favorite...
2196
01:40:06,449 --> 01:40:07,282
Oh.
2197
01:40:09,548 --> 01:40:11,208
Oh.
2198
01:40:11,208 --> 01:40:14,291
(gentle organ music)
2199
01:40:15,417 --> 01:40:20,417
♪ Onward, Christian soldiers,
marching as to war ♪
2200
01:40:23,988 --> 01:40:28,905
♪ With the cross of
Jesus, going on before ♪
2201
01:40:34,039 --> 01:40:36,111
- Maybe this isn't such a good idea.
2202
01:40:36,111 --> 01:40:37,351
- You think?!
2203
01:40:37,351 --> 01:40:39,721
Reverend Weld's gonna
give you so much heat,
2204
01:40:39,721 --> 01:40:41,529
I'm gonna melt just sitting next to you.
2205
01:40:41,529 --> 01:40:43,000
(Kelly sighs)
2206
01:40:43,000 --> 01:40:46,750
- Maybe I should just
wait outside, you know?
2207
01:40:49,339 --> 01:40:53,525
♪ Onward, Christian soldiers ♪
(door opens)
2208
01:40:53,525 --> 01:40:56,525
♪ Marching as to... ♪
2209
01:41:00,336 --> 01:41:03,086
(dramatic music)
2210
01:41:26,487 --> 01:41:29,070
- My dear brothers and sisters,
2211
01:41:30,366 --> 01:41:32,887
throughout the ages, God
has taught us many lessons,
2212
01:41:32,887 --> 01:41:34,720
but none more dramatic
2213
01:41:37,189 --> 01:41:41,439
than the judgment that
follows perverse immorality.
2214
01:41:43,897 --> 01:41:46,238
In the times of the pharaohs,
2215
01:41:46,238 --> 01:41:50,897
God brought forth great plagues
upon the Egyptian people.
2216
01:41:50,897 --> 01:41:52,017
And in Sodom and Gomorrah,
2217
01:41:52,017 --> 01:41:55,195
he devastated with fire and brimstone.
2218
01:41:55,195 --> 01:41:57,937
And in the time of Noah, he
destroyed the whole world!
2219
01:41:57,937 --> 01:42:00,020
God will damn the wicked!
2220
01:42:02,225 --> 01:42:06,725
Now it is our duty, as
God-fearing Christian soldiers,
2221
01:42:08,055 --> 01:42:10,305
to terminate the indecency,
2222
01:42:11,146 --> 01:42:15,769
to eradicate the vermin that
shame us before our maker,
2223
01:42:15,769 --> 01:42:19,146
to seek and destroy all that is unholy!
2224
01:42:19,146 --> 01:42:23,396
Now, me, I am a mild-mannered,
peace-loving person,
2225
01:42:26,337 --> 01:42:28,697
but I have to tell you,
2226
01:42:28,697 --> 01:42:31,740
my blood boils when I start to see
2227
01:42:31,740 --> 01:42:34,829
how some of our young
people are keeping company
2228
01:42:34,829 --> 01:42:37,211
with the Prince of Darkness.
2229
01:42:37,211 --> 01:42:40,981
Yeah, they are dancing with the Devil,
2230
01:42:40,981 --> 01:42:43,800
they are playing rock
music with the Devil,
2231
01:42:43,800 --> 01:42:45,867
they are sleeping with the Devil,
2232
01:42:45,867 --> 01:42:49,578
and now, they have
fornicated with the Devil!
2233
01:42:49,578 --> 01:42:53,011
One of our very own has
sold his soul to Satan,
2234
01:42:53,011 --> 01:42:56,269
and now, he is carrying Satan's child!
2235
01:42:56,269 --> 01:42:57,102
(churchgoers gasping)
2236
01:42:57,102 --> 01:42:58,408
- Now, wait a minute, Reverend!
2237
01:42:58,408 --> 01:43:00,256
- No, there is no minute to wait.
2238
01:43:00,256 --> 01:43:03,128
We must exorcize the demon from within.
2239
01:43:03,128 --> 01:43:07,277
Good Christian soldiers,
bring the lost soul forward.
2240
01:43:07,277 --> 01:43:08,843
Hold on to him tight, boys.
2241
01:43:08,843 --> 01:43:12,172
Remember how strong
the demon is possessed.
2242
01:43:12,172 --> 01:43:13,362
- Daddy, wait.
2243
01:43:13,362 --> 01:43:15,462
- Oh, Lisa, I'm so glad
you're here, honey.
2244
01:43:15,462 --> 01:43:17,254
Please, just hold his head like that.
2245
01:43:17,254 --> 01:43:20,023
You know, make sure it
doesn't start spinning around.
2246
01:43:20,023 --> 01:43:22,153
(Reverend Weld panting)
2247
01:43:22,153 --> 01:43:26,403
I call upon you, in the
name of God, begone, Satan!
2248
01:43:27,403 --> 01:43:31,498
Please release him from eternal damnation!
2249
01:43:31,498 --> 01:43:34,416
I need the help of the whole congregation.
2250
01:43:34,416 --> 01:43:36,999
Please, Satan, go back to Hell!
2251
01:43:38,666 --> 01:43:40,797
Go back to Hell!
- Go back to Hell!
2252
01:43:40,797 --> 01:43:42,865
- [Churchgoers] Go back to Hell!
2253
01:43:42,865 --> 01:43:44,745
Go back to Hell!
2254
01:43:44,745 --> 01:43:46,776
Go back to Hell!
2255
01:43:46,776 --> 01:43:48,776
Go back to Hell!
2256
01:43:48,776 --> 01:43:50,677
Go back to Hell!
2257
01:43:50,677 --> 01:43:52,791
Go back to Hell!
2258
01:43:52,791 --> 01:43:54,857
Go back to Hell!
2259
01:43:54,857 --> 01:43:56,697
Go back to Hell!
2260
01:43:56,697 --> 01:43:58,030
Go back to Hell!
2261
01:43:59,894 --> 01:44:03,705
- Oh, God, please, show us you've heard!
2262
01:44:03,705 --> 01:44:05,270
Bring us a miracle.
2263
01:44:05,270 --> 01:44:06,520
Give us a sign!
2264
01:44:07,598 --> 01:44:09,885
(window shatters)
2265
01:44:09,885 --> 01:44:11,564
Holy crap, son of a bitch.
2266
01:44:11,564 --> 01:44:13,981
(door opens)
2267
01:44:15,345 --> 01:44:16,178
- A sign.
2268
01:44:17,247 --> 01:44:18,247
It's a sign.
2269
01:44:19,412 --> 01:44:22,062
But did you get the message?
2270
01:44:22,062 --> 01:44:25,094
Hm? Did you get the message?
2271
01:44:25,094 --> 01:44:27,264
You don't have to be afraid.
2272
01:44:27,264 --> 01:44:30,851
You don't have to be afraid of God.
2273
01:44:30,851 --> 01:44:32,822
You don't have to be afraid of Satan.
2274
01:44:32,822 --> 01:44:34,083
You don't have to be
afraid of your neighbors
2275
01:44:34,083 --> 01:44:35,723
or people far away from you.
2276
01:44:35,723 --> 01:44:38,235
Look, I'm just a scientist,
I'm not a religious person,
2277
01:44:38,235 --> 01:44:41,235
but I know that God, right, is love.
2278
01:44:44,505 --> 01:44:46,305
He loves you.
2279
01:44:46,305 --> 01:44:48,055
He loves you and you.
2280
01:44:49,225 --> 01:44:51,642
I suppose God even loves you.
2281
01:44:58,888 --> 01:45:03,138
But right now, God loves
Kelly Hankins most of all.
2282
01:45:07,134 --> 01:45:09,134
If that's how God feels,
2283
01:45:10,213 --> 01:45:12,130
who are we to disagree?
2284
01:45:20,257 --> 01:45:22,159
How you doing?
2285
01:45:22,159 --> 01:45:23,788
You okay?
2286
01:45:23,788 --> 01:45:24,626
Come on.
2287
01:45:24,626 --> 01:45:26,217
Let's get outta here.
2288
01:45:26,217 --> 01:45:29,884
This place gives me the
heebie-jeebies, man.
2289
01:45:33,409 --> 01:45:34,390
(Theus sighs)
2290
01:45:34,390 --> 01:45:36,900
I haven't been in there in 20 years,
2291
01:45:36,900 --> 01:45:38,626
and I'm gonna give it another 20.
2292
01:45:38,626 --> 01:45:39,879
- Thanks for the rescue, Uncle Theus.
2293
01:45:39,879 --> 01:45:41,879
I mean, you're a lifesaver.
2294
01:45:41,879 --> 01:45:42,962
- Or a taker.
2295
01:45:44,628 --> 01:45:46,137
- What?
2296
01:45:46,137 --> 01:45:47,999
- Better you should see.
2297
01:45:47,999 --> 01:45:49,009
I'll show you. Come on.
2298
01:45:49,009 --> 01:45:49,842
Let's go.
2299
01:45:50,849 --> 01:45:52,126
- You're not gonna make me be a guineapig
2300
01:45:52,126 --> 01:45:55,835
in one of your experiments again, are you?
2301
01:45:55,835 --> 01:45:57,180
What's wrong?
2302
01:45:57,180 --> 01:45:58,597
- "What's wrong"?
2303
01:46:00,081 --> 01:46:00,998
Everything.
2304
01:46:02,191 --> 01:46:07,024
I've put you in grave danger,
all to satisfy my curiosity.
2305
01:46:09,499 --> 01:46:10,749
- But I'm fine.
2306
01:46:13,011 --> 01:46:14,261
- For how long?
2307
01:46:19,765 --> 01:46:22,265
We are in uncharted territory.
2308
01:46:25,026 --> 01:46:27,276
We must end the experiment.
2309
01:46:30,106 --> 01:46:32,273
- What if I don't want to?
2310
01:46:33,334 --> 01:46:36,667
- The consequences could be unthinkable.
2311
01:46:37,546 --> 01:46:39,879
Look, the decision is yours.
2312
01:46:47,378 --> 01:46:49,461
- I need some time alone.
2313
01:46:55,127 --> 01:46:57,627
(Theus sighs)
2314
01:46:59,778 --> 01:47:00,828
(Theus sighs)
2315
01:47:00,828 --> 01:47:02,891
- [Churchgoers] Go back to Hell!
2316
01:47:02,891 --> 01:47:04,793
Go back to Hell!
- The decision is yours.
2317
01:47:04,793 --> 01:47:06,215
- Go back to Hell!
- One of our very own
2318
01:47:06,215 --> 01:47:08,173
has sold his soul to Satan.
- Go back to Hell!
2319
01:47:08,173 --> 01:47:09,093
- [Lisa] You've cracked!
2320
01:47:09,093 --> 01:47:10,219
- Go back to Hell!
- I've put you
2321
01:47:10,219 --> 01:47:13,205
in grave danger.
- Go back to Hell!
2322
01:47:13,205 --> 01:47:14,968
Go back to Hell!
2323
01:47:14,968 --> 01:47:17,635
(ominous music)
2324
01:47:44,383 --> 01:47:47,660
(salesman laughs)
2325
01:47:47,660 --> 01:47:48,980
- Hey.
- Get outta here!
2326
01:47:48,980 --> 01:47:50,986
- Hit me with your best shot.
- Mamaboy.
2327
01:47:50,986 --> 01:47:53,085
- It'll burst out of you.
- One bad decision
2328
01:47:53,085 --> 01:47:53,925
after the next.
2329
01:47:53,925 --> 01:47:55,462
You stop that.
2330
01:47:55,462 --> 01:47:58,712
You can't get away from me that easily.
2331
01:48:15,264 --> 01:48:16,097
- Mama.
2332
01:48:18,523 --> 01:48:21,190
(Kelly screams)
2333
01:48:22,264 --> 01:48:26,512
(doll head clatters)
(Kelly panting)
2334
01:48:26,512 --> 01:48:27,435
(hand knocking)
2335
01:48:27,435 --> 01:48:28,726
- Kelly!
2336
01:48:28,726 --> 01:48:30,376
You about ready?
2337
01:48:30,376 --> 01:48:33,376
I pressed your gown and...
2338
01:48:33,376 --> 01:48:35,626
Kelly, you're still in bed.
2339
01:48:39,083 --> 01:48:41,112
- I'm just not feeling too good.
2340
01:48:41,112 --> 01:48:45,643
- But, dear, it's graduation
day, and the whole family-
2341
01:48:45,643 --> 01:48:47,823
- I'm sorry, Mom.
2342
01:48:47,823 --> 01:48:49,694
I don't think I can make it.
2343
01:48:49,694 --> 01:48:51,225
- Jeff?
2344
01:48:51,225 --> 01:48:53,725
Kelly's not feeling very well.
2345
01:48:56,654 --> 01:48:58,054
- [Jeff] Rough night, son?
2346
01:48:58,054 --> 01:48:59,111
- Nightmare.
2347
01:48:59,111 --> 01:49:01,260
- Your mother says you're sick.
2348
01:49:01,260 --> 01:49:03,482
- No, not really.
2349
01:49:03,482 --> 01:49:05,138
I'm just scared.
2350
01:49:05,138 --> 01:49:07,162
Guess I'm just a coward.
2351
01:49:07,162 --> 01:49:08,847
I mean, I've been praying
to make this all go away,
2352
01:49:08,847 --> 01:49:12,264
but I just don't think God listens to me.
2353
01:49:20,089 --> 01:49:22,009
- God listens.
2354
01:49:22,009 --> 01:49:24,592
He just doesn't always say yes.
2355
01:49:25,878 --> 01:49:28,961
Kelly, even the best starting pitcher
2356
01:49:30,107 --> 01:49:33,598
occasionally needs a reliever
to come in and take over.
2357
01:49:33,598 --> 01:49:35,255
Son, maybe you've been holding that ball
2358
01:49:35,255 --> 01:49:37,865
too tight for too long.
2359
01:49:37,865 --> 01:49:40,654
Why don't you put that in God's hands,
2360
01:49:40,654 --> 01:49:43,472
and let him decide the next pitch?
2361
01:49:43,472 --> 01:49:44,305
Trust him.
2362
01:49:45,702 --> 01:49:48,019
- All right, Dad, I will.
2363
01:49:48,019 --> 01:49:49,706
But we're gonna need a
miracle to win this one.
2364
01:49:49,706 --> 01:49:50,657
(Jeff chuckles)
2365
01:49:50,657 --> 01:49:53,258
- Well, you just happened
to be in luck, son,
2366
01:49:53,258 --> 01:49:57,068
because God is in the miracle business.
2367
01:49:57,068 --> 01:50:00,607
And if you don't want to go
to graduation, it's all right.
2368
01:50:00,607 --> 01:50:04,190
The ones that love you,
they'll understand.
2369
01:50:06,028 --> 01:50:08,725
Now is there anything I can get you?
2370
01:50:08,725 --> 01:50:10,068
- On your way out there,
2371
01:50:10,068 --> 01:50:12,107
you might want to stop by a travel agency.
2372
01:50:12,107 --> 01:50:13,919
Pick up a ticket for Africa.
2373
01:50:13,919 --> 01:50:17,749
One way.
(Jeff chuckles)
2374
01:50:17,749 --> 01:50:19,325
- Business or coach?
2375
01:50:19,325 --> 01:50:20,625
(Kelly chuckles)
2376
01:50:20,625 --> 01:50:21,792
- First class.
2377
01:50:22,752 --> 01:50:23,915
(audience applauding)
2378
01:50:23,915 --> 01:50:25,929
- Sandra L. Paxson.
2379
01:50:25,929 --> 01:50:29,096
(audience applauding)
2380
01:50:31,162 --> 01:50:33,203
Kelly R. Hankins.
2381
01:50:33,203 --> 01:50:36,370
(audience applauding)
2382
01:50:39,662 --> 01:50:40,662
Not present.
2383
01:50:42,012 --> 01:50:43,551
- I don't blame him for not showing up.
2384
01:50:43,551 --> 01:50:46,908
- Wendy K. Brownshire.
- It's all my fault.
2385
01:50:46,908 --> 01:50:49,908
Just a moment of temporary insanity.
2386
01:50:51,305 --> 01:50:55,972
- Candice J. Cotton.
(audience cheering)
2387
01:50:58,723 --> 01:50:59,809
Ditto Moore.
2388
01:50:59,809 --> 01:51:02,976
(audience applauding)
2389
01:51:03,820 --> 01:51:06,570
(hands slapping)
2390
01:51:08,809 --> 01:51:10,069
- We did it.
2391
01:51:10,069 --> 01:51:13,068
We did it
- Milton Vanderblack.
2392
01:51:13,068 --> 01:51:16,068
(people applauding)
2393
01:51:27,957 --> 01:51:31,066
Bartholomew B. Winterbottom, III.
2394
01:51:31,066 --> 01:51:34,233
(audience applauding)
2395
01:51:37,488 --> 01:51:38,571
Lisa G. Weld.
2396
01:51:39,644 --> 01:51:42,644
(audience cheering)
2397
01:51:52,626 --> 01:51:54,917
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you
2398
01:51:54,917 --> 01:51:58,466
our graduating class of Butterhill High.
2399
01:51:58,466 --> 01:52:01,466
(audience cheering)
2400
01:52:02,679 --> 01:52:05,749
At this time, we would normally hear
2401
01:52:05,749 --> 01:52:08,166
from our class valedictorian.
2402
01:52:09,399 --> 01:52:13,418
However, due to unforeseen circumstances,
2403
01:52:13,418 --> 01:52:16,439
this year's speaker is not present.
2404
01:52:16,439 --> 01:52:20,079
In his place, I would like to comment
2405
01:52:20,079 --> 01:52:23,695
on these fine, responsible,
mature, young adults.
2406
01:52:23,695 --> 01:52:24,980
(student farts)
2407
01:52:24,980 --> 01:52:27,158
(audience laughing)
2408
01:52:27,158 --> 01:52:30,070
You need to see a doctor, young lady.
2409
01:52:30,070 --> 01:52:31,070
Settle down.
2410
01:52:33,070 --> 01:52:37,150
As these leaders of
tomorrow begin their journey
2411
01:52:37,150 --> 01:52:39,161
through the maze of life,
2412
01:52:39,161 --> 01:52:43,479
they will find their most
memorable years were spent
2413
01:52:43,479 --> 01:52:46,462
with me here at Butterhill High.
2414
01:52:46,462 --> 01:52:50,545
I molded them and
painstakingly shaped them into,
2415
01:52:52,460 --> 01:52:56,800
what I believe, will be this-
(door opens)
2416
01:52:56,800 --> 01:52:59,217
Generation's, uh, next, uh...
2417
01:53:01,982 --> 01:53:03,149
Kelly Hankins.
2418
01:53:04,060 --> 01:53:07,060
I mean, it looks like Kelly Hankins,
2419
01:53:08,030 --> 01:53:11,863
our class valedictorian,
is with us after all.
2420
01:53:13,469 --> 01:53:15,062
I don't know how.
2421
01:53:15,062 --> 01:53:18,812
So, ladies and gentlemen,
your valedictorian,
2422
01:53:20,064 --> 01:53:21,814
Mr. Kelly R. Hankins.
2423
01:53:23,013 --> 01:53:26,180
(audience applauding)
2424
01:53:28,133 --> 01:53:32,182
- Thank you, Principal Miller,
for those inspiring words.
2425
01:53:32,182 --> 01:53:33,673
(Kelly sighs)
2426
01:53:33,673 --> 01:53:38,229
I would now like to give
my valedictorian speech.
2427
01:53:38,229 --> 01:53:43,099
Friends and relatives,
teachers and fellow students,
2428
01:53:43,099 --> 01:53:44,982
today we leave the safety
of the lives we've known
2429
01:53:44,982 --> 01:53:46,926
as Butterhill High School students,
2430
01:53:46,926 --> 01:53:48,187
and we venture into the world
2431
01:53:48,187 --> 01:53:50,937
of uncertainty and possibilities.
2432
01:53:52,207 --> 01:53:53,318
We will face challenges,
2433
01:53:53,318 --> 01:53:56,465
the likes of which we
could have never dreamed,
2434
01:53:56,465 --> 01:53:57,998
and the way in which we respond will be
2435
01:53:57,998 --> 01:54:01,547
forever embedded into our character.
2436
01:54:01,547 --> 01:54:05,019
Any great challenge will
initially scare you to death.
2437
01:54:05,019 --> 01:54:07,186
Fear of failure, ridicule,
2438
01:54:08,855 --> 01:54:12,187
embarrassment, fear of losing friends,
2439
01:54:12,187 --> 01:54:15,937
fear of losing loved
ones, and fear of death.
2440
01:54:17,217 --> 01:54:20,017
Do not be afraid to go out on a limb,
2441
01:54:20,017 --> 01:54:21,806
because that is where the fruit is.
2442
01:54:21,806 --> 01:54:26,716
You must learn and grow by
doing what you are afraid of.
2443
01:54:26,716 --> 01:54:29,316
I was recently enslaved by fear.
2444
01:54:29,316 --> 01:54:34,025
It robbed me of my joy, stole
precious moments of my life,
2445
01:54:34,025 --> 01:54:37,237
and chipped away at my character.
2446
01:54:37,237 --> 01:54:39,729
Fear let me down a path
of destructiveness,
2447
01:54:39,729 --> 01:54:42,958
and nearly convinced me
to destroy another's.
2448
01:54:42,958 --> 01:54:44,912
Fear held its hand to
the throat of possibly
2449
01:54:44,912 --> 01:54:47,158
the next great theologian,
2450
01:54:47,158 --> 01:54:48,991
or dedicated educator,
2451
01:54:50,159 --> 01:54:53,540
or future Hall of Fame athlete.
2452
01:54:53,540 --> 01:54:55,604
President Roosevelt once told us
2453
01:54:55,604 --> 01:54:58,672
we have nothing to fear but fear itself.
2454
01:54:58,672 --> 01:55:02,362
And I, for one, will no longer
bow to the influence of fear.
2455
01:55:02,362 --> 01:55:05,390
And it is my hope that you
will stand up and join me
2456
01:55:05,390 --> 01:55:07,140
in facing your fears.
2457
01:55:08,630 --> 01:55:11,419
And though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death,
2458
01:55:11,419 --> 01:55:12,836
I will fear no...
2459
01:55:20,969 --> 01:55:22,386
I will fear no...
2460
01:55:25,729 --> 01:55:26,562
No, um...
2461
01:55:30,412 --> 01:55:32,273
I will fear no...
2462
01:55:32,273 --> 01:55:33,106
(body thuds)
2463
01:55:33,106 --> 01:55:35,069
(people gasping)
- Kelly!
2464
01:55:35,069 --> 01:55:36,435
- It's time.
2465
01:55:36,435 --> 01:55:37,923
I'm time!
2466
01:55:37,923 --> 01:55:39,121
- Kelly!
2467
01:55:39,121 --> 01:55:39,954
Stage four!
2468
01:55:39,954 --> 01:55:41,273
Stage four. Breathe!
2469
01:55:41,273 --> 01:55:46,273
(Ditto loudly breathing)
(people chattering)
2470
01:55:48,143 --> 01:55:50,726
(gentle music)
2471
01:55:56,375 --> 01:55:58,453
- [Kelly] I must be dead.
2472
01:55:58,453 --> 01:55:59,994
I see an angel.
2473
01:55:59,994 --> 01:56:02,244
- No, Kelly, it's me. Lisa.
2474
01:56:05,076 --> 01:56:07,164
- [Kelly] Same thing.
2475
01:56:07,164 --> 01:56:08,331
What happened?
2476
01:56:09,884 --> 01:56:11,217
- You collapsed.
2477
01:56:12,242 --> 01:56:13,825
We nearly lost you.
2478
01:56:16,703 --> 01:56:18,203
- Where's my baby?
2479
01:56:28,992 --> 01:56:31,909
- Congratulations, Mom, it's a boy.
2480
01:56:33,774 --> 01:56:34,607
- Boy.
2481
01:56:35,774 --> 01:56:36,857
He's perfect.
2482
01:56:37,761 --> 01:56:39,651
No horn-rimmed glasses or anything.
2483
01:56:39,651 --> 01:56:40,771
(baby coos)
2484
01:56:40,771 --> 01:56:43,512
Nothing could ever top this.
2485
01:56:43,512 --> 01:56:45,512
- I wouldn't be so sure.
2486
01:56:49,052 --> 01:56:51,552
(baby cooing)
2487
01:56:56,259 --> 01:56:57,759
This one's a girl.
2488
01:57:00,178 --> 01:57:01,011
- A girl?
2489
01:57:02,047 --> 01:57:03,078
Two?
2490
01:57:03,078 --> 01:57:05,794
How am I ever gonna handle two?
2491
01:57:05,794 --> 01:57:07,627
- How are we going to?
2492
01:57:10,183 --> 01:57:11,422
- "We"?
2493
01:57:11,422 --> 01:57:14,001
- I told my father about us.
2494
01:57:14,001 --> 01:57:14,834
- You did?
2495
01:57:17,263 --> 01:57:19,285
I'm sorry everything turned out so bad.
2496
01:57:19,285 --> 01:57:20,118
- "Bad"?
2497
01:57:21,085 --> 01:57:21,918
No, no.
2498
01:57:23,365 --> 01:57:26,376
Everything turned out good.
2499
01:57:26,376 --> 01:57:30,293
Now, I know how much my
father really loves me.
2500
01:57:32,386 --> 01:57:33,636
You're my hero.
2501
01:57:35,475 --> 01:57:39,346
And from now on, I'm not
gonna be scared of anyone
2502
01:57:39,346 --> 01:57:42,179
or anything as long as I have you.
2503
01:57:48,967 --> 01:57:50,217
Can you get up?
2504
01:57:51,122 --> 01:57:52,175
- Yeah.
- There's something
2505
01:57:52,175 --> 01:57:53,758
I want to show you.
2506
01:58:18,990 --> 01:58:21,740
(crowd cheering)
2507
01:58:26,666 --> 01:58:27,711
- [Crowd] Kelly!
2508
01:58:27,711 --> 01:58:28,720
Kelly!
2509
01:58:28,720 --> 01:58:29,765
Kelly!
2510
01:58:29,765 --> 01:58:30,666
Kelly!
2511
01:58:30,666 --> 01:58:31,677
Kelly!
2512
01:58:31,677 --> 01:58:32,510
Kelly!
2513
01:58:37,619 --> 01:58:38,786
- All the way!
2514
01:58:40,258 --> 01:58:41,217
- [Crowd] Kelly!
2515
01:58:41,217 --> 01:58:42,221
Kelly!
2516
01:58:42,221 --> 01:58:43,163
Kelly!
2517
01:58:43,163 --> 01:58:44,187
Kelly!
2518
01:58:44,187 --> 01:58:45,132
Kelly!
2519
01:58:45,132 --> 01:58:46,054
Kelly!
2520
01:58:46,054 --> 01:58:47,035
Kelly!
2521
01:58:47,035 --> 01:58:48,064
Kelly!
2522
01:58:48,064 --> 01:58:48,897
Kelly!
2523
01:58:59,713 --> 01:59:01,796
- They're all behind you,
2524
01:59:04,933 --> 01:59:08,516
letting you know you
made the right choice.
2525
01:59:09,470 --> 01:59:12,220
(crowd cheering)
2526
01:59:16,388 --> 01:59:18,138
They love you, Kelly.
2527
01:59:20,015 --> 01:59:21,432
- What about you?
2528
01:59:23,687 --> 01:59:28,520
- Well, I've got a heavy
hankering for you, Kelly Hankins.
2529
01:59:49,563 --> 01:59:52,730
(gentle guitar music)
2530
02:00:00,348 --> 02:00:05,348
♪ I am praying for the
answers to these questions ♪
2531
02:00:08,546 --> 02:00:13,417
♪ These sleepless nights go on and on ♪
2532
02:00:13,417 --> 02:00:17,119
♪ I feel like I'm running
away from the truth ♪
2533
02:00:17,119 --> 02:00:20,450
♪ Ignoring everything I know ♪
2534
02:00:20,450 --> 02:00:24,783
♪ And everyone, oh, everyone I love ♪
2535
02:00:26,271 --> 02:00:29,271
(upbeat rock music)
2536
02:00:37,234 --> 02:00:41,612
♪ I was just a boy, I
didn't know any better ♪
2537
02:00:41,612 --> 02:00:45,183
♪ The thoughts of my
future and all its demons ♪
2538
02:00:45,183 --> 02:00:48,655
♪ In life, now I search
for constant reason ♪
2539
02:00:48,655 --> 02:00:53,655
♪ To get out of my bed ♪
2540
02:00:53,935 --> 02:00:58,935
♪ Listen to the voice inside my head ♪
2541
02:00:59,175 --> 02:01:00,335
♪ Trying to tell me to ♪
2542
02:01:00,335 --> 02:01:03,146
♪ Cope with all these
different standards ♪
2543
02:01:03,146 --> 02:01:05,676
♪ Playing life to please the crowd ♪
2544
02:01:05,676 --> 02:01:08,784
♪ It's hard when there's
too much to handle ♪
2545
02:01:08,784 --> 02:01:12,299
♪ Hope to turn this life around ♪
2546
02:01:12,299 --> 02:01:17,299
♪ In light, you will find me ♪
2547
02:01:17,698 --> 02:01:22,698
♪ Hold on tight, through
the night, I am yours ♪
2548
02:01:28,389 --> 02:01:33,176
♪ Take me back home, safely, I'll go ♪
2549
02:01:33,176 --> 02:01:36,694
♪ Back to my bed with
these thoughts of anger ♪
2550
02:01:36,694 --> 02:01:39,834
♪ Confused and spinning around my head ♪
2551
02:01:39,834 --> 02:01:42,733
♪ You know, it's true, I think i get it ♪
2552
02:01:42,733 --> 02:01:45,393
♪ I'm not the man that you intended ♪
2553
02:01:45,393 --> 02:01:47,753
♪ Round and round, it's plain to see ♪
2554
02:01:47,753 --> 02:01:51,193
♪ This road I'm on is killing me ♪
2555
02:01:51,193 --> 02:01:53,988
♪ Cope with all these
different standards ♪
2556
02:01:53,988 --> 02:01:56,501
♪ Playing life to please the crowd ♪
2557
02:01:56,501 --> 02:01:59,590
♪ It's hard when there's
too much to handle ♪
2558
02:01:59,590 --> 02:02:03,192
♪ Hope to turn this life around ♪
2559
02:02:03,192 --> 02:02:08,192
♪ In light, you will find me ♪
2560
02:02:08,552 --> 02:02:13,552
♪ Hold on tight, through
the night, I am yours ♪
2561
02:02:14,563 --> 02:02:19,563
♪ In light, you will find me ♪
2562
02:02:19,814 --> 02:02:24,814
♪ Hold on tight, through
the night, I am yours ♪
2563
02:02:48,362 --> 02:02:53,362
♪ In light, you will find me ♪
2564
02:02:53,691 --> 02:02:58,691
♪ Hold on tight, through
the night, I am yours ♪
2565
02:03:00,339 --> 02:03:03,657
♪ I am yours ♪
♪ In light ♪
2566
02:03:03,657 --> 02:03:04,977
♪ You will find ♪
2567
02:03:04,977 --> 02:03:07,822
♪ You will find me ♪
♪ Hold on tight ♪
2568
02:03:07,822 --> 02:03:10,563
♪ Hold on tight ♪
♪ Hold on tight ♪
2569
02:03:10,563 --> 02:03:11,970
♪ Through the night ♪
2570
02:03:11,970 --> 02:03:13,780
♪ I am yours ♪
♪ In light ♪
2571
02:03:13,780 --> 02:03:16,231
♪ In light ♪
♪ You will find ♪
2572
02:03:16,231 --> 02:03:19,048
♪ You will find me ♪
♪ Hold on tight ♪
2573
02:03:19,048 --> 02:03:21,938
♪ Hold on tight ♪
♪ Hold on tight ♪
2574
02:03:21,938 --> 02:03:25,032
♪ Through the night, I am yours ♪
2575
02:03:25,032 --> 02:03:27,554
♪ In light ♪
♪ You will find ♪
2576
02:03:27,554 --> 02:03:30,440
♪ You will find me ♪
♪ Hold tight ♪
2577
02:03:30,440 --> 02:03:33,149
♪ Hold on tight ♪
♪ Hold on tight ♪
2578
02:03:33,149 --> 02:03:38,149
♪ Through the night, I am yours ♪
2579
02:03:39,111 --> 02:03:42,514
♪ You'll never understand
what you do to me ♪
2580
02:03:42,514 --> 02:03:46,135
♪ Just one touch, feel your
heart beating next to me ♪
2581
02:03:46,135 --> 02:03:48,263
♪ 'Cause I've been waiting for so long ♪
2582
02:03:48,263 --> 02:03:51,401
♪ Just to see you leave ♪
2583
02:03:51,401 --> 02:03:53,440
♪ So don't leave me ♪
2584
02:03:53,440 --> 02:03:56,809
♪ Trust me, baby, I'll
be your everything ♪
2585
02:03:56,809 --> 02:04:00,462
♪ Just one kiss, one smile,
girl, you make me sing ♪
2586
02:04:00,462 --> 02:04:02,620
♪ 'Cause I've been waiting for so long ♪
2587
02:04:02,620 --> 02:04:05,729
♪ Just to see you leave ♪
2588
02:04:05,729 --> 02:04:08,718
♪ So don't leave me ♪
2589
02:04:08,718 --> 02:04:12,310
♪ Ooh ♪
2590
02:04:12,310 --> 02:04:15,878
♪ Ooh ♪
2591
02:04:15,878 --> 02:04:18,135
♪ Ooh ♪
2592
02:04:18,135 --> 02:04:19,502
♪ Ooh ♪
2593
02:04:19,502 --> 02:04:22,778
♪ Ooh ♪
2594
02:04:22,778 --> 02:04:26,861
♪ 'Cause I'm crazy for you, yeah ♪
168757
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