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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,771 --> 00:00:01,604 (gear clicking) 2 00:00:01,604 --> 00:00:05,279 (film projector whirring) 3 00:00:05,279 --> 00:00:06,112 (horse galloping) 4 00:00:06,112 --> 00:00:08,263 (sword rasps) 5 00:00:08,263 --> 00:00:11,430 (gentle guitar music) 6 00:00:17,263 --> 00:00:20,013 (title whooshes) 7 00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:26,683 (car whirring) 8 00:00:32,540 --> 00:00:35,373 (mouse squeaking) 9 00:00:42,898 --> 00:00:45,481 (car whirring) 10 00:01:04,195 --> 00:01:07,028 (mouse squeaking) 11 00:01:13,937 --> 00:01:18,902 ♪ Shall we gather at the river ♪ 12 00:01:18,902 --> 00:01:23,521 ♪ Where bright angels' feet have trod ♪ 13 00:01:23,521 --> 00:01:28,412 ♪ With its crystal tide forever ♪ 14 00:01:28,412 --> 00:01:33,233 ♪ Flowing by the throne of God ♪ 15 00:01:33,233 --> 00:01:37,973 ♪ Yes, we'll gather at the river ♪ 16 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:42,793 ♪ The beautiful, the beautiful river ♪ 17 00:01:42,793 --> 00:01:45,376 (gentle music) 18 00:01:51,791 --> 00:01:53,275 - [Woman] What? Hey. 19 00:01:53,275 --> 00:01:54,305 What are you doing? - Get out of here. 20 00:01:54,305 --> 00:01:57,555 (chip crunching) - Hey. 21 00:02:06,406 --> 00:02:09,239 (mouse squeaking) 22 00:02:12,722 --> 00:02:15,305 (car whirring) 23 00:02:36,961 --> 00:02:39,794 (mouse squeaking) 24 00:02:48,729 --> 00:02:49,690 - Fear! 25 00:02:49,690 --> 00:02:50,731 (mouse squeaking) 26 00:02:50,731 --> 00:02:53,720 Fear ye, the Lord your God. 27 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:57,977 (panel closes) (Theus chuckles) 28 00:02:57,977 --> 00:03:00,926 You'll be cast into a lake of fire with Satan himself, 29 00:03:00,926 --> 00:03:03,335 and there will be- - I've been wait for you. 30 00:03:03,335 --> 00:03:06,035 Ah! - And gnashing of teeth. 31 00:03:06,035 --> 00:03:08,897 He who even looks at a woman- - Why does Satan want 32 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,646 to mash your teeth? 33 00:03:10,646 --> 00:03:12,732 - He's already committed adultery! 34 00:03:12,732 --> 00:03:14,543 So if your eye offends you, 35 00:03:14,543 --> 00:03:16,572 if it causes you to lust, pluck it out. 36 00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:18,460 Cast it away. 37 00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:21,333 Same thing with your nose. 38 00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:22,783 - Get away from there. 39 00:03:22,783 --> 00:03:24,521 Somebody's gonna see you. 40 00:03:24,521 --> 00:03:26,972 - Your father is in rare form today. 41 00:03:26,972 --> 00:03:28,961 - Speaking of rare form, 42 00:03:28,961 --> 00:03:30,993 where'd you learn how to kiss like that? 43 00:03:30,993 --> 00:03:33,321 - Just doing what comes natural. 44 00:03:33,321 --> 00:03:34,988 - Mm. I like nature. 45 00:03:36,404 --> 00:03:37,237 (Lisa chuckles) 46 00:03:37,237 --> 00:03:39,237 - You know, the only way 47 00:03:40,815 --> 00:03:44,565 to get to eternal glory is through sacrifice. 48 00:03:47,007 --> 00:03:48,407 Somehow, somewhere, someday, 49 00:03:48,407 --> 00:03:50,527 the good Lord is going to ask you 50 00:03:50,527 --> 00:03:54,327 maybe to make a tremendous sacrifice, 51 00:03:54,327 --> 00:03:56,807 and on that day, what will you say? 52 00:03:56,807 --> 00:03:57,841 How will you answer him? 53 00:03:57,841 --> 00:03:59,931 Will you answer him yes? 54 00:03:59,931 --> 00:04:01,582 Yes?! 55 00:04:01,582 --> 00:04:03,101 Will you answer him yes? 56 00:04:03,101 --> 00:04:04,783 - [Churchgoers] Yes. 57 00:04:04,783 --> 00:04:08,616 - I think we need to practice sacrificing now. 58 00:04:10,446 --> 00:04:12,213 starting today. 59 00:04:12,213 --> 00:04:14,764 When the collection plate goes by, 60 00:04:14,764 --> 00:04:16,283 I want you to sacrifice 61 00:04:16,283 --> 00:04:18,658 as much as you possibly can to the Lord. 62 00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:21,089 Remember, money is the root of all evil, 63 00:04:21,089 --> 00:04:24,368 so use this opportunity to rid yourself 64 00:04:24,368 --> 00:04:27,228 of as much evil as possible. 65 00:04:27,228 --> 00:04:29,126 Remember, it is written, 66 00:04:29,126 --> 00:04:33,793 "Ask how much to give, and you shall receive an answer." 67 00:04:34,878 --> 00:04:38,746 And, folks, Lord loves a hilarious giver, 68 00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:42,308 so please, let me hear some laughter. 69 00:04:42,308 --> 00:04:43,697 Little laughter. (churchgoers laughing) 70 00:04:43,697 --> 00:04:44,956 Don't hurt that much! 71 00:04:44,956 --> 00:04:46,711 Let me hear some laughter! 72 00:04:46,711 --> 00:04:48,138 Come on! (churchgoers laughing) 73 00:04:48,138 --> 00:04:49,357 Come on! 74 00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:50,944 Come on! 75 00:04:50,944 --> 00:04:53,977 The Lord loves a hilarious giver! 76 00:04:53,977 --> 00:04:56,644 (rock clatters) 77 00:04:58,148 --> 00:04:59,981 I'd like to thank you. 78 00:05:00,989 --> 00:05:04,588 The Lord appreciates your generosity. 79 00:05:04,588 --> 00:05:07,832 You know, it is this spirit of giving which enabled us 80 00:05:07,832 --> 00:05:12,517 to acquire this magnificent stained glass window, 81 00:05:12,517 --> 00:05:15,631 imported directly from Italy. 82 00:05:15,631 --> 00:05:17,162 I'm sure we will treasure it 83 00:05:17,162 --> 00:05:21,662 for (sighs) many, many years to come. 84 00:05:22,909 --> 00:05:23,992 Amen to that. 85 00:05:26,829 --> 00:05:28,480 - Mm. 86 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:29,559 Kelly? 87 00:05:29,559 --> 00:05:30,392 - Yeah? 88 00:05:30,392 --> 00:05:31,778 - Do you know what today is? 89 00:05:31,778 --> 00:05:34,028 - I'm guessing it's Sunday. 90 00:05:34,978 --> 00:05:36,228 - Besides that. 91 00:05:37,096 --> 00:05:39,855 It's the 10-year year anniversary of the day we first met. 92 00:05:39,855 --> 00:05:40,688 - Yeah. 93 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:44,396 - I was seven and you were eight, remember? 94 00:05:44,396 --> 00:05:47,396 I was a bat girl in your little league team. 95 00:05:47,396 --> 00:05:49,167 I went over to pick up a bat, 96 00:05:49,167 --> 00:05:51,178 and you were practicing your swing. 97 00:05:51,178 --> 00:05:52,885 - And I knocked out your front four teeth. 98 00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,385 - Oh, so romantic. 99 00:05:55,386 --> 00:06:00,303 - Yeah, well, if you think that's romantic, check this out. 100 00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:04,091 - Kelly. - It opens. 101 00:06:04,091 --> 00:06:05,998 Open it. - It's beautiful. 102 00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:08,427 (Lisa laughs) 103 00:06:08,427 --> 00:06:11,657 I'm never going to take it off. 104 00:06:11,657 --> 00:06:13,569 I love you, Kelly Hankins. 105 00:06:13,569 --> 00:06:15,902 - And I love you, Lisa Weld. 106 00:06:18,617 --> 00:06:19,626 - Help me put it on? 107 00:06:19,626 --> 00:06:20,459 - Of course. 108 00:06:20,459 --> 00:06:21,292 - Yay. 109 00:06:23,776 --> 00:06:25,433 All right. 110 00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:27,043 - All right. - Got it? 111 00:06:27,043 --> 00:06:27,876 - Yeah. 112 00:06:30,713 --> 00:06:34,593 - Tomorrow starts our first day of senior year. 113 00:06:34,593 --> 00:06:35,673 - I know. 114 00:06:35,673 --> 00:06:38,844 I mean, this could be the best year of our lives. 115 00:06:38,844 --> 00:06:41,291 - What's your favorite thing about school? 116 00:06:41,291 --> 00:06:43,084 - My favorite thing about school? 117 00:06:43,084 --> 00:06:44,855 Well, besides you? 118 00:06:44,855 --> 00:06:46,305 (Lisa chuckles) 119 00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:48,393 Baseball season. 120 00:06:48,393 --> 00:06:51,444 I mean, there's just something about it. 121 00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:56,071 You know, standing on the mound and game's on the line, 122 00:06:56,071 --> 00:06:58,619 have a chance to be a hero. 123 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:02,600 Everyone's chanting, "Kelly, Kelly, Kelly." 124 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,869 (both chuckling) 125 00:07:04,869 --> 00:07:05,776 (Kelly sighs) 126 00:07:05,776 --> 00:07:06,804 I know everyone's behind me, 127 00:07:06,804 --> 00:07:10,263 and (sighs) they're gonna trust 128 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,447 I'll make the right decision. 129 00:07:13,447 --> 00:07:17,364 It's just, one time, I'd like to just reach out 130 00:07:18,447 --> 00:07:22,364 and grab that feeling and hold onto it forever. 131 00:07:25,116 --> 00:07:27,474 - I wish I could feel that way. 132 00:07:27,474 --> 00:07:29,752 But I'd be scared to death. 133 00:07:29,752 --> 00:07:31,783 - You're scared of everything. 134 00:07:31,783 --> 00:07:34,295 - Well, don't you ever get afraid? 135 00:07:34,295 --> 00:07:35,295 - Sometimes. 136 00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:40,694 Like, does it make sense to be afraid of being afraid? 137 00:07:41,763 --> 00:07:43,346 - What do you mean? 138 00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:47,199 - When I'm trusted to make the big decision, 139 00:07:47,199 --> 00:07:50,743 like, the really big decision, could I do it? 140 00:07:50,743 --> 00:07:51,826 Would I cave? 141 00:07:55,191 --> 00:07:58,191 - Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, 142 00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:00,513 Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. (Lisa clapping) 143 00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:02,932 - Very funny. (Lisa laughs) 144 00:08:02,932 --> 00:08:03,868 How about you? 145 00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:05,666 What's your favorite thing? 146 00:08:05,666 --> 00:08:06,499 - Hmm. 147 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,989 I like the dances. 148 00:08:12,529 --> 00:08:16,196 It's the only time I can hold you in public. 149 00:08:17,125 --> 00:08:19,444 (Lisa chuckles) 150 00:08:19,444 --> 00:08:21,977 - How much longer do we have to keep this secret? 151 00:08:21,977 --> 00:08:24,598 - Eight months, one week, and three days. 152 00:08:24,598 --> 00:08:26,015 My 18th birthday, 153 00:08:27,096 --> 00:08:30,785 the day my father finally allows me to start dating. 154 00:08:30,785 --> 00:08:33,275 - Yeah, it feels like forever. 155 00:08:33,275 --> 00:08:36,624 I mean, you may not even love me anymore. 156 00:08:36,624 --> 00:08:39,564 I could go crazy, gain a hundred pounds, bald, you know? 157 00:08:39,564 --> 00:08:41,314 - I'd still love you. 158 00:08:43,518 --> 00:08:45,563 - Why don't we tell your father right now? 159 00:08:45,563 --> 00:08:47,808 - That's a terrible idea. 160 00:08:47,808 --> 00:08:50,808 Then I wouldn't be allowed to date until I was crazy, bald, 161 00:08:50,808 --> 00:08:53,538 and gained a hundred pounds. (Kelly chuckles) 162 00:08:53,538 --> 00:08:55,788 - Well, I'd still love you. 163 00:08:57,390 --> 00:09:02,048 All right, coward, eight months, one week, three days. 164 00:09:02,048 --> 00:09:03,628 It's a date. 165 00:09:03,628 --> 00:09:05,859 - On one condition. 166 00:09:05,859 --> 00:09:07,608 - All right. 167 00:09:07,608 --> 00:09:11,600 - On my first date, I want to wear the biggest, 168 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,517 most beautiful pink orchid in town. 169 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,519 - I'd do anything for you. 170 00:09:18,519 --> 00:09:20,520 Anything at all. 171 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:25,353 - Well, I've got a heavy hankering for you, Kelly Hankins. 172 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:28,939 (Lisa chuckles) 173 00:09:28,939 --> 00:09:31,522 (bell tolling) 174 00:09:34,859 --> 00:09:36,160 - [Reverend Weld] Mary, good to see you. 175 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:37,856 - You too. - Hey, Bob. 176 00:09:37,856 --> 00:09:39,023 Pleasure, sir. 177 00:09:40,555 --> 00:09:41,909 (Reverend Weld sighs) 178 00:09:41,909 --> 00:09:43,242 Good to see you. 179 00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:46,246 And just where have you been, young lady? 180 00:09:46,246 --> 00:09:47,966 - I needed to use the bathroom. 181 00:09:47,966 --> 00:09:49,742 - Lisa, you need to understand the importance 182 00:09:49,742 --> 00:09:51,966 of the example you set for our young people. 183 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,177 - Yes, Daddy. 184 00:09:53,177 --> 00:09:54,086 - You... 185 00:09:54,086 --> 00:09:55,062 Hi. 186 00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:56,675 Hi. 187 00:09:56,675 --> 00:09:58,735 You provide the moral guidance 188 00:09:58,735 --> 00:10:00,969 with your virtue for our entire community. 189 00:10:00,969 --> 00:10:02,747 - Yes, Daddy. - I expect you sitting 190 00:10:02,747 --> 00:10:04,747 at the front row of every service. 191 00:10:04,747 --> 00:10:06,210 - I will be, Daddy. 192 00:10:06,210 --> 00:10:08,307 - Oh, the Hankins family. 193 00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,637 How are you, Jeff? - Good morning, Reverend Weld. 194 00:10:09,637 --> 00:10:10,554 - Gloria. 195 00:10:10,554 --> 00:10:12,883 - [Gloria] Wonderful sermon today, Reverend. 196 00:10:12,883 --> 00:10:14,605 - [Reverend Weld] And how are you, Jimmy? 197 00:10:14,605 --> 00:10:16,144 - [Jimmy] Just fine, sir. 198 00:10:16,144 --> 00:10:17,571 About your sermon today... 199 00:10:17,571 --> 00:10:19,123 - Yes? - If money is the root 200 00:10:19,123 --> 00:10:22,040 of all evil, how do I fertilize it? 201 00:10:23,488 --> 00:10:25,184 - Quite the mind on this young man. 202 00:10:25,184 --> 00:10:27,787 You're quite an original thinker. 203 00:10:27,787 --> 00:10:29,099 Wonderful. 204 00:10:29,099 --> 00:10:29,932 Mm. 205 00:10:29,932 --> 00:10:34,259 Kelly, how's the arm on Butterhill's star pitcher? 206 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:35,480 - It's great, sir. Thank you. 207 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,497 - That's good. We are all counting on you. 208 00:10:37,497 --> 00:10:39,903 Oh, this is very stylish. 209 00:10:39,903 --> 00:10:41,278 - Oh. 210 00:10:41,278 --> 00:10:42,223 It's the new style. 211 00:10:42,223 --> 00:10:43,373 You should try it, sir. 212 00:10:43,373 --> 00:10:45,431 - I think I might. 213 00:10:45,431 --> 00:10:46,765 Mm. Well, good to see you. 214 00:10:46,765 --> 00:10:50,589 - Good to see you too. - Pleasure, sir. 215 00:10:50,589 --> 00:10:53,589 (upbeat rock music) 216 00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,054 ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 217 00:10:59,054 --> 00:11:00,702 ♪ Whoa ♪ 218 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,531 ♪ Whoa ♪ 219 00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:03,364 - Hey! 220 00:11:04,370 --> 00:11:05,266 I'm coming. 221 00:11:05,266 --> 00:11:10,057 ♪ I'll be the one to hold you safe and sound ♪ 222 00:11:10,057 --> 00:11:11,508 Hey! Bombs away! 223 00:11:11,508 --> 00:11:12,663 - Gosh, get off me. 224 00:11:12,663 --> 00:11:14,294 - Baa! 225 00:11:14,294 --> 00:11:15,267 - Pretend like you're actually 226 00:11:15,267 --> 00:11:16,583 a normal human being for once? 227 00:11:16,583 --> 00:11:18,038 - Ah, you don't want that? 228 00:11:18,038 --> 00:11:18,871 (Ditto sighs) - No. 229 00:11:18,871 --> 00:11:19,817 - Come here, babe. 230 00:11:19,817 --> 00:11:21,900 First day of senior year. 231 00:11:23,276 --> 00:11:24,483 Smiling? - Yes. 232 00:11:24,483 --> 00:11:25,745 - This is for my mother. - I know. 233 00:11:25,745 --> 00:11:26,855 - It's going on the Christmas card. 234 00:11:26,855 --> 00:11:27,895 - Okay. 235 00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:28,728 - Cheese. 236 00:11:29,695 --> 00:11:30,528 (camera snaps) 237 00:11:30,528 --> 00:11:31,520 Okay. Great. 238 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,093 Preserved for all eternity. 239 00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:35,142 - Yeah. - Oh, yes! 240 00:11:35,142 --> 00:11:36,470 I feel good all under. 241 00:11:36,470 --> 00:11:38,602 - Are you finally wearing the right sized underwear? 242 00:11:38,602 --> 00:11:41,055 - Underwear. Underwear, underwear, underwear. 243 00:11:41,055 --> 00:11:42,586 Nopes. Oh, well. 244 00:11:42,586 --> 00:11:45,306 More room to indulge that bulge, you know? 245 00:11:45,306 --> 00:11:46,666 - Yeah, you wish. - You know what I'm saying? 246 00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:48,666 Walk in swinging. 247 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:51,486 All right, Ace, let's burn rubber. 248 00:11:51,486 --> 00:11:55,116 These ladies are awaiting our glorious presence. 249 00:11:55,116 --> 00:11:55,949 Woo! 250 00:11:58,425 --> 00:12:01,719 ♪ Oh, this night will never last as long ♪ 251 00:12:01,719 --> 00:12:04,369 ♪ As I want it to be ♪ 252 00:12:04,369 --> 00:12:06,231 ♪ You're crying on my shoulder ♪ 253 00:12:06,231 --> 00:12:08,520 ♪ Damn, I think I love her, it's true ♪ 254 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,650 ♪ I want you, oh ♪ 255 00:12:11,650 --> 00:12:13,536 ♪ And I want you ♪ 256 00:12:13,536 --> 00:12:14,494 ♪ But you don't ♪ 257 00:12:14,494 --> 00:12:17,761 ♪ See me ♪ 258 00:12:17,761 --> 00:12:21,536 ♪ You'll see me ♪ 259 00:12:21,536 --> 00:12:24,890 ♪ She's looking for her everything man ♪ 260 00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:26,133 ♪ But she don't notice ♪ 261 00:12:26,133 --> 00:12:30,870 ♪ I'm the perfect hand ♪ ♪ You'll see me ♪ 262 00:12:30,870 --> 00:12:34,797 ♪ You'll see me ♪ 263 00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:38,343 ♪ But she don't notice I'm the perfect hand ♪ 264 00:12:38,343 --> 00:12:40,021 ♪ Whoa ♪ 265 00:12:40,021 --> 00:12:41,671 ♪ Whoa ♪ 266 00:12:41,671 --> 00:12:43,599 ♪ Whoa ♪ 267 00:12:43,599 --> 00:12:45,688 - Who's that driving the green bug? 268 00:12:45,688 --> 00:12:47,694 - That's Frankie Wilson. 269 00:12:47,694 --> 00:12:50,070 Sure is an improvement over that old van. 270 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,519 - I don't know, I mean, you could really stretch 271 00:12:52,519 --> 00:12:54,400 your legs out in that van. (car rumbling) 272 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:55,621 - Ooh. 273 00:12:55,621 --> 00:12:57,047 What is this? 274 00:12:57,047 --> 00:13:00,047 (upbeat rock music) 275 00:13:07,141 --> 00:13:10,112 (window whirring) 276 00:13:10,112 --> 00:13:11,744 - Hello, ladies. 277 00:13:11,744 --> 00:13:13,091 (record scratches) - Oh. 278 00:13:13,091 --> 00:13:14,411 Well, that sucks. 279 00:13:14,411 --> 00:13:16,038 It's Milton. 280 00:13:16,038 --> 00:13:17,193 - [All] Ew. 281 00:13:17,193 --> 00:13:19,112 - Hey, there's Kelly Hankins. 282 00:13:19,112 --> 00:13:21,165 - Who's that with him? - That's Ditto Moore. 283 00:13:21,165 --> 00:13:23,626 - [Blonde Girl] You mean Ditzo Moore. 284 00:13:23,626 --> 00:13:25,957 - [Candy] Hi, Kelly. 285 00:13:25,957 --> 00:13:26,853 - Hi, Candy. 286 00:13:26,853 --> 00:13:28,106 How was your summer? 287 00:13:28,106 --> 00:13:29,432 - Awful. 288 00:13:29,432 --> 00:13:32,314 I just stared at my phone and prayed for a call from you, 289 00:13:32,314 --> 00:13:35,063 but my prayers went unanswered. 290 00:13:35,063 --> 00:13:37,813 - Well, I didn't have you number. 291 00:13:41,358 --> 00:13:44,025 (lips smacking) 292 00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:49,481 (girls laughing) 293 00:13:49,481 --> 00:13:51,391 - That brazen hussy. 294 00:13:51,391 --> 00:13:54,066 Like a spider waiting to devour a fly. 295 00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:55,359 Let me have that number. 296 00:13:55,359 --> 00:13:57,471 - I'll take that. 297 00:13:57,471 --> 00:13:58,711 - Like you'd know what to do with it. 298 00:13:58,711 --> 00:14:01,788 - Oh, I was this close to scoring with those babes 299 00:14:01,788 --> 00:14:04,358 until The Hunkins ruined it. 300 00:14:04,358 --> 00:14:05,758 - Sorry to ruin your scene, Milton. 301 00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:07,397 - You always ruin my scene. 302 00:14:07,397 --> 00:14:09,886 You stole Mary Beth Barber from me. 303 00:14:09,886 --> 00:14:11,636 Kissed her right in front the flagpole. 304 00:14:11,636 --> 00:14:13,986 - Milton, that was in kindergarten. 305 00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:15,094 I mean, she kissed me. 306 00:14:15,094 --> 00:14:16,367 I pushed her down. Get over it. 307 00:14:16,367 --> 00:14:18,376 - Oh, ho, ho, well, the great 308 00:14:18,376 --> 00:14:21,047 and powerful Kelly Hankins has spoken. 309 00:14:21,047 --> 00:14:23,636 Yeah, you need to take it down a notch. 310 00:14:23,636 --> 00:14:28,588 I will pull back the curtain on you, you just wait and see. 311 00:14:28,588 --> 00:14:29,937 (Ditto chuckles) 312 00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,712 - That is one delusional hombre. 313 00:14:31,712 --> 00:14:32,545 - Yeah. 314 00:14:33,484 --> 00:14:36,189 - Oh! - Then you say go, go! 315 00:14:36,189 --> 00:14:39,835 That's right, you right, then you say fight, fight! 316 00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:42,714 ♪ Don't say there's only one way ♪ 317 00:14:42,714 --> 00:14:45,040 - Attention, students. 318 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:45,873 Attention. 319 00:14:48,079 --> 00:14:50,105 - [Cheerleaders] Then you say go, go! 320 00:14:50,105 --> 00:14:52,041 That's right, you know it! 321 00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:53,400 (cheerleaders screaming) 322 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,857 ♪ I won't let you coat me with your cliches ♪ 323 00:14:55,857 --> 00:14:57,289 (Principal Miller groans) 324 00:14:57,289 --> 00:14:58,897 ♪ You're doing things all the wrong ways ♪ 325 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:02,412 ♪ You're doing things all the wrong ways ♪ 326 00:15:02,412 --> 00:15:05,373 ♪ 'Cause I'm a wanted man in the hands of a sinner ♪ 327 00:15:05,373 --> 00:15:09,024 ♪ Keep myself up at night, counting stars as I wither away ♪ 328 00:15:09,024 --> 00:15:11,318 ♪ Who's to say I'm crazy and messed up ♪ 329 00:15:11,318 --> 00:15:12,655 (fist thuds) 330 00:15:12,655 --> 00:15:16,339 ♪ Don't look down, keep your chin up, kid ♪ 331 00:15:16,339 --> 00:15:19,271 ♪ 'Cause I'm more than this ♪ 332 00:15:19,271 --> 00:15:20,961 - Attention. 333 00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:22,588 Is this even... 334 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,798 Attention. 335 00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,390 Hoodlum, punk, gangster. (speaker squeals) 336 00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:26,723 Oh, there we go. 337 00:15:27,771 --> 00:15:30,360 Good morning, students. 338 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,222 - Good morning, Principal Miller. 339 00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:35,472 - As many of you know, I am Mr. Miller, 340 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,029 the principal here at Butterhill High. 341 00:15:40,029 --> 00:15:42,840 And our dedicated and respected staff 342 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,451 would like to welcome you back 343 00:15:44,451 --> 00:15:49,291 to yet another year here at your favorite school. 344 00:15:49,291 --> 00:15:53,124 And we have two new faculty members this year. 345 00:15:53,971 --> 00:15:56,688 As a result of the brilliant investigative work 346 00:15:56,688 --> 00:16:01,112 of our very own "Butterhill Bulletin" reporter, Milton, 347 00:16:01,112 --> 00:16:05,945 our former practitioner, Nurse Nancy, will not be with us, 348 00:16:06,861 --> 00:16:09,170 as her ankle monitor will not allow her 349 00:16:09,170 --> 00:16:12,098 within 200 feet of any school. 350 00:16:12,098 --> 00:16:16,431 In her place, I am pleased to introduce Nurse Zelda. 351 00:16:17,915 --> 00:16:20,915 (Milton applauding) 352 00:16:24,095 --> 00:16:28,345 (Zelda speaks in foreign language) 353 00:16:33,878 --> 00:16:35,795 Isn't she just foreign? 354 00:16:37,508 --> 00:16:41,341 Next, a man whom words simply cannot describe, 355 00:16:44,095 --> 00:16:46,262 Coach Franklin Dombrowski. 356 00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:50,413 (door opens) 357 00:16:50,413 --> 00:16:53,222 (whistle shrilling) 358 00:16:53,222 --> 00:16:54,222 Thank you... 359 00:16:55,168 --> 00:16:56,619 (Coach Dombrowski laughs) 360 00:16:56,619 --> 00:16:57,452 - Oh, hey. 361 00:16:59,717 --> 00:17:01,467 - Very inspirational. 362 00:17:02,687 --> 00:17:05,569 We look forward to developing you all 363 00:17:05,569 --> 00:17:09,557 into responsible, mature, young adults. 364 00:17:09,557 --> 00:17:11,797 (student farts) 365 00:17:11,797 --> 00:17:13,627 (Principal Miller sniffing) (students laughing) 366 00:17:13,627 --> 00:17:15,085 Settle down, people. 367 00:17:15,085 --> 00:17:16,285 Settle. 368 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,118 Settle. 369 00:17:18,475 --> 00:17:22,027 And in order to start things off on the right foot, 370 00:17:22,027 --> 00:17:26,036 the school is sponsoring a kickoff dance this Friday! 371 00:17:26,036 --> 00:17:29,842 (students clapping) 372 00:17:29,842 --> 00:17:32,921 - And left, two, three, four. 373 00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:35,704 Right, two, three, four. 374 00:17:35,704 --> 00:17:37,621 Left, two, three, four. 375 00:17:38,503 --> 00:17:41,023 Right, two, three, four. 376 00:17:41,023 --> 00:17:42,940 Left, two, three, four. 377 00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,863 Right, two, three, four. 378 00:17:46,703 --> 00:17:48,536 Left two, three, four. 379 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:52,423 Right, two, three, four. 380 00:17:52,423 --> 00:17:54,340 Left, two, three, four. 381 00:17:55,182 --> 00:17:57,973 Right, two, three, four. 382 00:17:57,973 --> 00:17:59,890 Left, two, three, four. 383 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,813 Right, two, three, four. 384 00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:05,168 And that's our class for the day. 385 00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,001 (students applauding) 386 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:08,299 I'll see you guys net week, all right? 387 00:18:08,299 --> 00:18:09,924 - Awesome class, Kelly. - Thank you. 388 00:18:09,924 --> 00:18:11,284 - See you at the dance tomorrow? 389 00:18:11,284 --> 00:18:13,243 - See you. - Can't wait. 390 00:18:13,243 --> 00:18:14,218 - Has anyone ever told you 391 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:17,264 what a sensual instructor you are? 392 00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:20,347 So strong, so tight, so many muscles. 393 00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:26,883 You make my heart race even when we're not exercising. 394 00:18:26,883 --> 00:18:28,800 - That's good, I guess. 395 00:18:29,995 --> 00:18:33,136 - So I hear your band will be playing at the dance tomorrow? 396 00:18:33,136 --> 00:18:34,739 - Yeah. We've been practicing all summer. 397 00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:36,829 It's gonna be great. 398 00:18:36,829 --> 00:18:39,634 - Will you have any time for dancing? 399 00:18:39,634 --> 00:18:41,378 - Yeah. Yeah, in between songs. 400 00:18:41,378 --> 00:18:42,750 It'll be fun. 401 00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:45,819 - Well, I'll be sure to save a dance for you, 402 00:18:45,819 --> 00:18:47,486 and much, much more. 403 00:18:55,121 --> 00:18:59,288 - Mm, mm, mm, mm. (Ditto clapping) 404 00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:01,788 Spider bait. 405 00:19:01,788 --> 00:19:05,001 - Yeah, well, she's gonna to starve to death. 406 00:19:05,001 --> 00:19:07,084 - Hey, no comprendo, Ace. 407 00:19:08,079 --> 00:19:09,871 What are you waiting on? 408 00:19:09,871 --> 00:19:12,788 Board that ship before she sets sail. 409 00:19:12,788 --> 00:19:15,260 - Ditto, can you keep a secret? 410 00:19:15,260 --> 00:19:16,216 - Moi? 411 00:19:16,216 --> 00:19:17,664 The king of conceal? 412 00:19:17,664 --> 00:19:19,405 They would poke my eyes out 413 00:19:19,405 --> 00:19:22,754 with toothpicks before I would give you up, man. 414 00:19:22,754 --> 00:19:23,914 Spill it! 415 00:19:23,914 --> 00:19:25,497 - Lisa and I are... 416 00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,432 We're more than friends. 417 00:19:29,413 --> 00:19:30,443 - "More"? 418 00:19:30,443 --> 00:19:31,694 - Yeah. 419 00:19:31,694 --> 00:19:32,591 - How much more? 420 00:19:32,591 --> 00:19:34,301 - Well, we're in love. 421 00:19:34,301 --> 00:19:37,051 - Oh, dude, you cannot touch her. 422 00:19:38,619 --> 00:19:40,599 She is the preacher's daughter. 423 00:19:40,599 --> 00:19:42,137 - I know. - He's gonna get God 424 00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:44,429 to cast down a lightning bolt on you. 425 00:19:44,429 --> 00:19:45,848 - I know. 426 00:19:45,848 --> 00:19:47,767 Look, we've been secretly dating, all right? 427 00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:49,163 She's on the strictly restricted list. 428 00:19:49,163 --> 00:19:51,064 Do not open till 18. 429 00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:52,984 - Estimated time of arrival? 430 00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:54,212 - Eight months, six days. 431 00:19:54,212 --> 00:19:56,300 - Ah, that could explain the lack of interest 432 00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:57,679 in Candy and company. 433 00:19:57,679 --> 00:19:58,599 Ouch. 434 00:19:58,599 --> 00:19:59,558 (Ditto exhales) 435 00:19:59,558 --> 00:20:01,666 I'd have trouble keeping that secret. 436 00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:03,533 - You have trouble keeping your underwear a secret. 437 00:20:03,533 --> 00:20:04,952 - Oh? 438 00:20:04,952 --> 00:20:06,191 All right. 439 00:20:06,191 --> 00:20:07,805 We're going to play hit and run. 440 00:20:07,805 --> 00:20:09,375 When Candy comes onto you, 441 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,816 I'll pinch hit while you run away. 442 00:20:11,816 --> 00:20:12,649 - You're all heart, Ditto. 443 00:20:12,649 --> 00:20:13,714 (Ditto laughs) 444 00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:15,034 - Absolutely, bud. 445 00:20:15,034 --> 00:20:17,017 What are friends for? 446 00:20:17,017 --> 00:20:19,186 (lively rock music) 447 00:20:19,186 --> 00:20:22,302 ♪ Ooh ♪ 448 00:20:22,302 --> 00:20:26,401 ♪ Ooh ♪ 449 00:20:26,401 --> 00:20:30,018 ♪ Yeah ♪ 450 00:20:30,018 --> 00:20:34,686 ♪ Yeah ♪ 451 00:20:34,686 --> 00:20:38,224 ♪ Ooh ♪ 452 00:20:38,224 --> 00:20:42,854 ♪ Ooh ♪ 453 00:20:42,854 --> 00:20:46,014 ♪ Ever since she walked by ♪ 454 00:20:46,014 --> 00:20:50,572 ♪ Those jeans are on my mind, it's true ♪ 455 00:20:50,572 --> 00:20:55,323 ♪ Oh, it's true ♪ 456 00:20:55,323 --> 00:20:57,573 ♪ I'm hooked, I'm hypnotized ♪ 457 00:20:57,573 --> 00:21:02,573 ♪ She's voodoo with big, blue eyes, it's true ♪ 458 00:21:02,985 --> 00:21:06,973 ♪ So true ♪ 459 00:21:06,973 --> 00:21:10,331 ♪ She's every thought, she's every word ♪ 460 00:21:10,331 --> 00:21:13,063 ♪ If I could sleep, I'd dream of her ♪ 461 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,773 ♪ I'm hit ♪ 462 00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,022 ♪ Going down in flames ♪ 463 00:21:17,022 --> 00:21:19,262 ♪ Tail spinning, she's to blame ♪ 464 00:21:19,262 --> 00:21:20,971 ♪ I'm hit ♪ 465 00:21:20,971 --> 00:21:22,931 ♪ I'm outta control ♪ 466 00:21:22,931 --> 00:21:25,483 ♪ Falling in love, falling hard, you know ♪ 467 00:21:25,483 --> 00:21:27,225 ♪ I'm hit ♪ 468 00:21:27,225 --> 00:21:29,454 ♪ Going down in flames ♪ 469 00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:32,265 ♪ Shell-shocked, and I can't see straight ♪ 470 00:21:32,265 --> 00:21:35,791 ♪ Other girls are miles below her ♪ 471 00:21:35,791 --> 00:21:40,451 ♪ I'm hit, and it's game over ♪ 472 00:21:40,451 --> 00:21:45,001 - Nurse Zelda, may I offer you a cup of punch? 473 00:21:45,001 --> 00:21:46,866 - Is it spiked? 474 00:21:46,866 --> 00:21:47,862 - What? No, no. 475 00:21:47,862 --> 00:21:50,279 No, no, no. I made it myself. 476 00:21:51,441 --> 00:21:53,833 - Oh, pass-a-rooni. 477 00:21:53,833 --> 00:21:55,420 - Are you sure? 478 00:21:55,420 --> 00:21:58,039 My exotic blend of papaya, mango, 479 00:21:58,039 --> 00:22:00,978 and the guava are temptingly delightful, 480 00:22:00,978 --> 00:22:03,682 with a splash of passion fruit that'll curl your toes. 481 00:22:03,682 --> 00:22:04,515 What? 482 00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:08,500 - Why, Principal Miller, 483 00:22:11,780 --> 00:22:14,113 are you trying to seduce me? 484 00:22:20,071 --> 00:22:21,474 (hand slaps) 485 00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:22,307 - God, no. 486 00:22:23,882 --> 00:22:25,210 Perish the thought. 487 00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:28,210 I just thought you might be thirsty. 488 00:22:31,103 --> 00:22:32,270 - Okay, Daddy. 489 00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:37,354 (Lisa coughing) 490 00:22:41,077 --> 00:22:43,827 (toilet flushes) 491 00:23:00,443 --> 00:23:02,782 ♪ She stole my world ♪ 492 00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:05,012 ♪ If only she were my girl ♪ 493 00:23:05,012 --> 00:23:08,416 ♪ She's every thought, she's every word ♪ 494 00:23:08,416 --> 00:23:11,195 ♪ If I could sleep, I'd dream of her ♪ 495 00:23:11,195 --> 00:23:12,795 ♪ I'm hit ♪ 496 00:23:12,795 --> 00:23:14,864 ♪ She's too delicious ♪ 497 00:23:14,864 --> 00:23:17,985 ♪ Burning for her bright red kisses ♪ 498 00:23:17,985 --> 00:23:21,303 ♪ Got to tell her, I know I should ♪ 499 00:23:21,303 --> 00:23:23,665 ♪ 'Cause I'm hit, and I'm hit for good ♪ 500 00:23:23,665 --> 00:23:25,832 ♪ I'm hit ♪ 501 00:23:37,614 --> 00:23:41,174 ♪ And it's game over ♪ 502 00:23:41,174 --> 00:23:44,630 (students cheering) 503 00:23:44,630 --> 00:23:45,851 - Oh, you guys are great! 504 00:23:45,851 --> 00:23:49,184 Gonna take a break. We'll be right back. 505 00:23:50,198 --> 00:23:52,326 - Okay, ladies, get in line. 506 00:23:52,326 --> 00:23:57,326 The Ditto-meister is now accepting reservations for romance. 507 00:23:59,395 --> 00:24:01,463 How soon they forget a hero. 508 00:24:01,463 --> 00:24:03,629 These small town girls don't know what they're missing. 509 00:24:03,629 --> 00:24:05,509 (Kelly chuckles) 510 00:24:05,509 --> 00:24:06,621 - [Kelly] Striking out over there, aren't you? 511 00:24:06,621 --> 00:24:09,017 - Oh, one, two, and three. 512 00:24:09,017 --> 00:24:09,929 - [Kelly] Here, drown your sorrows. 513 00:24:09,929 --> 00:24:11,978 - Yeah, thank you. 514 00:24:11,978 --> 00:24:13,116 Mm. 515 00:24:13,116 --> 00:24:14,699 Ugh, disgustamundo. 516 00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:19,325 Here we go. Just what the doctor ordered. 517 00:24:19,325 --> 00:24:22,386 Some for me. (alcohol splashing) 518 00:24:22,386 --> 00:24:23,358 Hey. 519 00:24:23,358 --> 00:24:25,252 Some for you. (alcohol splashing) 520 00:24:25,252 --> 00:24:29,050 Some for the punch bowl too. (alcohol splashing) 521 00:24:29,050 --> 00:24:32,140 Know what? Let's lower your standards just a little bit. 522 00:24:32,140 --> 00:24:34,097 There we go. Great. 523 00:24:34,097 --> 00:24:36,680 (upbeat music) 524 00:24:40,126 --> 00:24:41,289 - [Kelly] May I have this dance? 525 00:24:41,289 --> 00:24:43,372 - Mm, my Prince Charming. 526 00:24:44,487 --> 00:24:47,154 Where have you been all my life? 527 00:24:50,354 --> 00:24:51,767 - Ah! (girl yelps) 528 00:24:51,767 --> 00:24:53,767 All right, come with me. 529 00:24:58,866 --> 00:25:00,033 - Nurse Zelda. 530 00:25:01,457 --> 00:25:02,290 - Captain. 531 00:25:09,996 --> 00:25:12,913 This is very tasty punch indeed. 532 00:25:12,913 --> 00:25:17,163 I think I will have one or two or 16 more of these. 533 00:25:18,733 --> 00:25:21,213 - Well, I'm happy it pleases you. 534 00:25:21,213 --> 00:25:23,933 I can give you the secret recipe. 535 00:25:23,933 --> 00:25:26,600 - Oh, well, give it to me, baby. 536 00:25:29,431 --> 00:25:30,931 I gots to have it. 537 00:25:32,122 --> 00:25:34,122 Like bear on water skis. 538 00:25:36,617 --> 00:25:37,867 ♪ Freakin' in the Land of Phat ♪ 539 00:25:37,867 --> 00:25:41,241 ♪ Bow bow bow jiggy dom jiggy da bay da bay ♪ 540 00:25:41,241 --> 00:25:44,217 - Nurse Zelda, do we have an ill student 541 00:25:44,217 --> 00:25:46,615 out there on the floor? 542 00:25:46,615 --> 00:25:48,423 - How would I know? 543 00:25:48,423 --> 00:25:52,058 ♪ Ba bow ba jiggy da bay da bay ♪ 544 00:25:52,058 --> 00:25:54,516 - Bear on water skis. 545 00:25:54,516 --> 00:25:57,221 (gentle music) 546 00:25:57,221 --> 00:26:00,654 ♪ Where have you been since the last time ♪ 547 00:26:00,654 --> 00:26:03,861 - So what did you think of the band? 548 00:26:03,861 --> 00:26:04,694 - It was fine. 549 00:26:04,694 --> 00:26:08,064 ♪ I'll wish you well ♪ 550 00:26:08,064 --> 00:26:13,064 ♪ Once you tell me if Juniper's here to stay ♪ 551 00:26:13,857 --> 00:26:15,979 - Having a good time? 552 00:26:15,979 --> 00:26:17,229 - [Lisa] Mm-hm. 553 00:26:23,030 --> 00:26:26,280 - Really, Lisa, let's not hog the hunk. 554 00:26:27,670 --> 00:26:32,587 ♪ Proved Juniper would not remain for long ♪ 555 00:26:33,969 --> 00:26:34,865 (punch splashing) 556 00:26:34,865 --> 00:26:39,865 ♪ Through the rain, we cooled your pain ♪ 557 00:26:41,619 --> 00:26:43,497 ♪ But life is only ♪ 558 00:26:43,497 --> 00:26:48,497 ♪ What it's worth to Juniper ♪ (hand slaps) 559 00:26:53,315 --> 00:26:58,315 ♪ Hey, Juniper ♪ 560 00:26:59,656 --> 00:27:04,573 ♪ Still match the picture in my mind's eye ♪ 561 00:27:09,016 --> 00:27:10,715 - [Kelly] Ditto? 562 00:27:10,715 --> 00:27:11,602 Ditto. 563 00:27:11,602 --> 00:27:15,160 - You're an exquisite dancer, and so sexy. 564 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:16,869 (Candy chuckles) - Hit and run, Ditto. 565 00:27:16,869 --> 00:27:19,196 Ditto, hit and run. 566 00:27:19,196 --> 00:27:21,538 - Looks like Hankins is moving in on your territory. 567 00:27:21,538 --> 00:27:23,087 - Yeah, dude, he's putting a squeeze 568 00:27:23,087 --> 00:27:24,260 on your grapefruits, man. 569 00:27:24,260 --> 00:27:25,669 - Yeah. Go get him. 570 00:27:25,669 --> 00:27:27,100 (long-haired boy chuckles) 571 00:27:27,100 --> 00:27:30,873 Yeah. (hands slapping) 572 00:27:30,873 --> 00:27:32,243 - Hi, Bronco. 573 00:27:32,243 --> 00:27:33,203 How's algebra going? 574 00:27:33,203 --> 00:27:34,255 Ditto?! 575 00:27:34,255 --> 00:27:35,088 (Bronco grunts) (punch thuds) 576 00:27:35,088 --> 00:27:35,921 - Four. 577 00:27:35,921 --> 00:27:37,171 Five. 578 00:27:37,171 --> 00:27:38,004 Six. 579 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,473 Seven. 580 00:27:43,260 --> 00:27:44,093 Two. 581 00:27:46,531 --> 00:27:47,364 Oh, darn. 582 00:27:48,430 --> 00:27:50,720 I keep losing count. 583 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,053 How about we take your temperature, yes? 584 00:27:59,102 --> 00:27:59,935 Oof. 585 00:28:04,238 --> 00:28:06,440 The old-fashioned way. 586 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,554 - I'm feeling much better now. 587 00:28:08,554 --> 00:28:10,637 - You are no fun, at all. 588 00:28:17,170 --> 00:28:19,753 I'm going to take two aspirins, 589 00:28:20,770 --> 00:28:23,158 and you call me in the morning. 590 00:28:23,158 --> 00:28:26,075 I've got some booty twerking to do. 591 00:28:44,085 --> 00:28:45,486 - Are you all right? 592 00:28:45,486 --> 00:28:46,689 - I'm fine. 593 00:28:46,689 --> 00:28:49,841 Surprised he didn't break his hand on my abs of steal. 594 00:28:49,841 --> 00:28:51,510 What? That was funny. 595 00:28:51,510 --> 00:28:55,260 - I'm just not much in the mood for laughing. 596 00:28:56,881 --> 00:28:58,631 - What's wrong, Lisa? 597 00:28:59,912 --> 00:29:01,662 - I've got a problem. 598 00:29:02,593 --> 00:29:04,732 A growing problem. 599 00:29:04,732 --> 00:29:06,345 - I don't get it. 600 00:29:06,345 --> 00:29:10,012 - Do you prefer cloth or disposable diapers? 601 00:29:12,643 --> 00:29:13,666 - Are you saying that... 602 00:29:13,666 --> 00:29:16,749 (gentle piano music) 603 00:29:22,204 --> 00:29:23,621 I love you, Lisa. 604 00:29:24,844 --> 00:29:26,872 I love you, and I'll love our baby. 605 00:29:26,872 --> 00:29:28,289 - And I love you. 606 00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:31,821 But I'm scared. 607 00:29:31,821 --> 00:29:34,710 I'm scared of what the town might think, 608 00:29:34,710 --> 00:29:38,839 and what all the other kids are gonna say. 609 00:29:38,839 --> 00:29:43,331 And most of all, I'm scared of what my dad's gonna do. 610 00:29:43,331 --> 00:29:44,734 (Lisa sighs) 611 00:29:44,734 --> 00:29:46,234 I'm scared for us. 612 00:29:47,732 --> 00:29:49,983 I just got to disappear. 613 00:29:49,983 --> 00:29:53,751 - Lisa, you're not leaving me, not now, not ever. 614 00:29:53,751 --> 00:29:55,212 I mean, sure, we made a mistake, 615 00:29:55,212 --> 00:29:57,943 but everybody makes mistakes. 616 00:29:57,943 --> 00:30:01,360 I promise, I will come up with something. 617 00:30:02,292 --> 00:30:03,433 - Really? 618 00:30:03,433 --> 00:30:06,372 - I've always wanted to be your knight in shining armor. 619 00:30:06,372 --> 00:30:08,205 Just give me a chance. 620 00:30:10,772 --> 00:30:14,254 (upbeat rock music) 621 00:30:14,254 --> 00:30:15,087 (students cheering) 622 00:30:15,087 --> 00:30:16,194 - Excuse me. Excuse me. 623 00:30:16,194 --> 00:30:17,111 Whoa. Whoa. 624 00:30:19,652 --> 00:30:20,652 Nurse Zelda! 625 00:30:25,252 --> 00:30:26,681 (students gasping) 626 00:30:26,681 --> 00:30:28,348 I cannot unsee that. 627 00:30:35,836 --> 00:30:36,855 - [Kelly] Can't believe your dad gave you 628 00:30:36,855 --> 00:30:38,628 a key to this place. 629 00:30:38,628 --> 00:30:39,940 - He didn't give me a key. 630 00:30:39,940 --> 00:30:41,670 I wouldn't give me a key. 631 00:30:41,670 --> 00:30:43,003 I forged a copy. 632 00:30:45,470 --> 00:30:46,518 - [Kelly] So your dad doesn't know we raid 633 00:30:46,518 --> 00:30:47,655 this place every night? 634 00:30:47,655 --> 00:30:49,444 - Well, sure he knows. 635 00:30:49,444 --> 00:30:51,084 He keeps a tab. 636 00:30:51,084 --> 00:30:53,172 I'm in debt for life. 637 00:30:53,172 --> 00:30:55,505 - He doesn't kick your butt? 638 00:30:56,343 --> 00:31:00,194 - How could you kick a butt with a face like this? 639 00:31:00,194 --> 00:31:03,892 So, how are you feeling after that first round knockout? 640 00:31:03,892 --> 00:31:04,956 - Hit and run, huh? 641 00:31:04,956 --> 00:31:06,306 I get hit, you run? 642 00:31:06,306 --> 00:31:08,006 Your little error almost cost me the game. 643 00:31:08,006 --> 00:31:10,564 - That was not my fault. 644 00:31:10,564 --> 00:31:13,564 She had me under some sort of spell. 645 00:31:16,416 --> 00:31:18,259 I promise it won't happen again. 646 00:31:18,259 --> 00:31:19,819 (Kelly sighs) 647 00:31:19,819 --> 00:31:22,347 - It's nothing compared to the blow Lisa laid on me. 648 00:31:22,347 --> 00:31:23,180 - Oh. 649 00:31:23,180 --> 00:31:24,013 (Ditto chuckles) 650 00:31:24,013 --> 00:31:25,346 Something juicy? 651 00:31:26,633 --> 00:31:28,561 (Kelly chuckles) 652 00:31:28,561 --> 00:31:30,358 - I mean, you'll probably find out. 653 00:31:30,358 --> 00:31:33,207 I mean, the whole school will probably find out. 654 00:31:33,207 --> 00:31:34,810 (Kelly sighs) 655 00:31:34,810 --> 00:31:36,227 Lisa and I are... 656 00:31:37,739 --> 00:31:40,538 Lisa and I are gonna have a baby. 657 00:31:40,538 --> 00:31:42,877 (Ditto chokes) 658 00:31:42,877 --> 00:31:45,307 (Ditto coughing) 659 00:31:45,307 --> 00:31:46,408 - A baby what? 660 00:31:46,408 --> 00:31:47,979 - What do you mean, "A baby what"? 661 00:31:47,979 --> 00:31:49,048 A baby, baby. 662 00:31:49,048 --> 00:31:52,739 You know, a pooping, wetting, wah, wah, wah baby. 663 00:31:52,739 --> 00:31:54,734 - I hate to break it you, 664 00:31:54,734 --> 00:31:56,781 but this is gonna put a definite strain 665 00:31:56,781 --> 00:31:57,912 on your dating secret. 666 00:31:57,912 --> 00:31:59,189 - I've got to think of something fast. 667 00:31:59,189 --> 00:32:01,520 I mean, if I don't, Lisa's father's gonna ship her off 668 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,297 to some convent in Mongolia. 669 00:32:03,297 --> 00:32:04,238 And, I mean, I doubt I'll be doing 670 00:32:04,238 --> 00:32:06,736 any pitching from a body cast. 671 00:32:06,736 --> 00:32:09,065 - How about if we try to disguise Lisa? 672 00:32:09,065 --> 00:32:10,095 - That won't work. 673 00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:13,463 Girls always know. They have that baby sonar thing. 674 00:32:13,463 --> 00:32:14,495 I've got to come up with something 675 00:32:14,495 --> 00:32:16,945 no one's ever gonna figure out. 676 00:32:16,945 --> 00:32:21,504 (siren wailing) (Kelly sighs) 677 00:32:21,504 --> 00:32:23,723 - [Theus] Rapunzel! 678 00:32:23,723 --> 00:32:24,556 Rapunzel! 679 00:32:27,803 --> 00:32:29,879 Let down your long hair! 680 00:32:29,879 --> 00:32:32,620 (gentle music) 681 00:32:32,620 --> 00:32:33,840 - [Kelly] Hey, Uncle Theus. 682 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,251 When'd you get the cool wheels? 683 00:32:36,251 --> 00:32:37,110 - This morning. 684 00:32:37,110 --> 00:32:37,963 (Theus chuckles) 685 00:32:37,963 --> 00:32:39,245 Ain't she a beaut? - Yeah. 686 00:32:39,245 --> 00:32:42,315 - My other car would make me look bad. 687 00:32:42,315 --> 00:32:44,565 So, where's my kid brother? 688 00:32:45,413 --> 00:32:47,504 I need to experiment on him again. 689 00:32:47,504 --> 00:32:48,907 - [Kelly] He took Jimmy and Mom fishing. 690 00:32:48,907 --> 00:32:50,331 They should be gone all day. 691 00:32:50,331 --> 00:32:52,358 - What? Gadzooks! 692 00:32:52,358 --> 00:32:55,007 I distinctly told him I'd be by Sunday afternoon. 693 00:32:55,007 --> 00:32:56,007 - Today's Saturday. 694 00:32:56,007 --> 00:32:57,509 - Saturday? Are you sure? 695 00:32:57,509 --> 00:32:59,618 - Yeah. - Okay, what was yesterday? 696 00:32:59,618 --> 00:33:01,117 - Friday. - Tomorrow? 697 00:33:01,117 --> 00:33:02,319 - Sunday. 698 00:33:02,319 --> 00:33:03,868 - What will it be a week from today? 699 00:33:03,868 --> 00:33:05,201 - Saturday. - Ah! 700 00:33:06,077 --> 00:33:07,305 My god, it is Saturday. 701 00:33:07,305 --> 00:33:09,484 This is disastrous. Everything's ready. 702 00:33:09,484 --> 00:33:10,570 - Ready for what? 703 00:33:10,570 --> 00:33:13,477 - Well, the greatest discovery known to mankind. 704 00:33:13,477 --> 00:33:14,885 Greater than the wheel, greater than flight, 705 00:33:14,885 --> 00:33:16,678 greater than peanut butter. 706 00:33:16,678 --> 00:33:18,679 Now, listen, I've discovered 707 00:33:18,679 --> 00:33:21,009 how to transfer unlimited gigaflops of yobibytes 708 00:33:21,009 --> 00:33:25,498 directly into the cerebral cortex, resulting in... 709 00:33:25,498 --> 00:33:27,506 Well, it's really cool. 710 00:33:27,506 --> 00:33:29,154 Uh, maybe. 711 00:33:29,154 --> 00:33:30,584 - "Maybe"? 712 00:33:30,584 --> 00:33:31,417 "Maybe" what? 713 00:33:31,417 --> 00:33:34,657 - Well, that's why I need my guinea... 714 00:33:34,657 --> 00:33:36,240 I need your father. 715 00:33:37,604 --> 00:33:39,937 I need somebody to volunteer 716 00:33:41,724 --> 00:33:44,224 to do my experiment on. 717 00:33:44,224 --> 00:33:45,863 - Is it painful? 718 00:33:45,863 --> 00:33:47,468 - Oh, no, no, no, no. No pain whatsoever. 719 00:33:47,468 --> 00:33:49,218 Absolutely pain-free. 720 00:33:50,118 --> 00:33:53,621 At least none of the mouses complained about it. 721 00:33:53,621 --> 00:33:55,159 - I'll volunteer. 722 00:33:55,159 --> 00:33:56,504 - You will? - Yeah. 723 00:33:56,504 --> 00:34:00,530 - Oh, you'd be doing a huge service to mankind. 724 00:34:00,530 --> 00:34:03,049 Not to mention boosting your grade point average. 725 00:34:03,049 --> 00:34:04,409 - Hm. 726 00:34:04,409 --> 00:34:07,067 - I could never repay you. 727 00:34:07,067 --> 00:34:08,070 - Can I bring Ditto? 728 00:34:08,070 --> 00:34:09,868 - Absolutely. Yes. 729 00:34:09,868 --> 00:34:12,888 Let him witness history in the making. 730 00:34:12,888 --> 00:34:14,388 - All right, cool. 731 00:34:15,722 --> 00:34:16,867 I think I have to go to the bathroom. 732 00:34:16,867 --> 00:34:18,275 - Oh, no, no, no. 733 00:34:18,275 --> 00:34:20,804 We're ready to begin. 734 00:34:20,804 --> 00:34:22,114 All there. 735 00:34:22,114 --> 00:34:23,515 Okay, when I flip this switch, 736 00:34:23,515 --> 00:34:26,209 you're gonna become a human computer chip. 737 00:34:26,209 --> 00:34:27,042 Okay. 738 00:34:28,035 --> 00:34:29,232 Before... 739 00:34:29,232 --> 00:34:31,623 Well, you put this in your mouth. 740 00:34:31,623 --> 00:34:34,200 It's gonna prevent you from biting your tongue. 741 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:35,033 All right? 742 00:34:35,033 --> 00:34:36,370 - Okay. - Mm. 743 00:34:36,370 --> 00:34:37,945 Mm? Mm? 744 00:34:37,945 --> 00:34:38,871 Mm? 745 00:34:38,871 --> 00:34:39,760 Okay. - Okay. 746 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:41,392 - [Theus] All right. 747 00:34:41,392 --> 00:34:42,589 Okay. Ready? 748 00:34:42,589 --> 00:34:43,422 Count! 749 00:34:44,418 --> 00:34:45,349 - Five! 750 00:34:45,349 --> 00:34:46,325 Four! 751 00:34:46,325 --> 00:34:47,326 Three! 752 00:34:47,326 --> 00:34:48,333 Two! 753 00:34:48,333 --> 00:34:49,490 One! (switch clicks) 754 00:34:49,490 --> 00:34:53,073 Blastoff! (machine buzzing) 755 00:34:54,305 --> 00:34:56,167 - Work, baby. Work, baby. 756 00:34:56,167 --> 00:34:57,204 Work, baby. 757 00:34:57,204 --> 00:34:58,473 Work, baby. 758 00:34:58,473 --> 00:35:00,251 (alarm wailing) 759 00:35:00,251 --> 00:35:02,918 (switch clicks) 760 00:35:07,513 --> 00:35:09,161 What's your name? 761 00:35:09,161 --> 00:35:10,729 - Kelly Hankins. 762 00:35:10,729 --> 00:35:11,923 (Theus chuckles) 763 00:35:11,923 --> 00:35:12,951 - It worked. 764 00:35:12,951 --> 00:35:15,451 What's the square root of 976? 765 00:35:18,041 --> 00:35:19,291 - I don't know. 766 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,510 I really don't feel any different. 767 00:35:22,510 --> 00:35:24,093 - No new knowledge? 768 00:35:24,967 --> 00:35:26,984 - At least I didn't lose any. 769 00:35:26,984 --> 00:35:28,966 - [Ditto] Hey. What's this? 770 00:35:28,966 --> 00:35:31,164 - Ah! (plant snaps) 771 00:35:31,164 --> 00:35:33,354 Don't touch that. (hand slaps) 772 00:35:33,354 --> 00:35:36,743 That is a super hybrid of a Venus flytrap, 773 00:35:36,743 --> 00:35:40,281 only it doesn't stop at eating just insects. 774 00:35:40,281 --> 00:35:42,248 (Theus groaning) 775 00:35:42,248 --> 00:35:43,921 - Sorry. - Yeah. 776 00:35:43,921 --> 00:35:45,893 (monkey squeaking) - Hey, little fella. 777 00:35:45,893 --> 00:35:47,657 Hey, Uncle Theus, who's this? 778 00:35:47,657 --> 00:35:48,490 - Don't. 779 00:35:49,856 --> 00:35:50,689 That? 780 00:35:50,689 --> 00:35:52,272 That, that is Adam, 781 00:35:53,874 --> 00:35:56,493 my most extraordinary experiment. 782 00:35:56,493 --> 00:35:58,264 - [Kelly] He looks pretty normal to me. 783 00:35:58,264 --> 00:36:01,148 - Oh, he is, except for one very important detail. 784 00:36:01,148 --> 00:36:03,947 He is gonna have a baby. 785 00:36:03,947 --> 00:36:04,948 (Theus chuckles) 786 00:36:04,948 --> 00:36:06,460 - Adam's gonna have a baby? - Yeah. 787 00:36:06,460 --> 00:36:07,860 (Theus chuckles) 788 00:36:07,860 --> 00:36:09,290 - [Kelly] That's impossible. 789 00:36:09,290 --> 00:36:13,149 - Well, it may not be as crazy as you may think. 790 00:36:13,149 --> 00:36:16,370 There have been dozens of documented cases 791 00:36:16,370 --> 00:36:20,080 of women carrying babies in their abdominal cavities. 792 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,580 All right? So, why not a male? 793 00:36:23,548 --> 00:36:26,170 - How did he even get pregnant in the first place? 794 00:36:26,170 --> 00:36:27,587 - Well, by Tweet. 795 00:36:29,498 --> 00:36:30,720 - [Kelly] Tweet? 796 00:36:30,720 --> 00:36:32,130 I don't understand. 797 00:36:32,130 --> 00:36:33,680 - Yeah, you never will understand. 798 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,001 I barely understand myself. 799 00:36:36,001 --> 00:36:36,908 Tweet. 800 00:36:36,908 --> 00:36:40,703 Tweet stands for Theus workable easy embryo transfer. 801 00:36:40,703 --> 00:36:42,879 No muss, no fuss. No pain whatsoever. 802 00:36:42,879 --> 00:36:44,378 - Yeah, I've heard that before. 803 00:36:44,378 --> 00:36:46,295 Are you sure it's safe? 804 00:36:47,644 --> 00:36:49,330 - Are you doubting the work of a genius 805 00:36:49,330 --> 00:36:52,149 with double your IQ, triple his? 806 00:36:52,149 --> 00:36:54,316 I give you proof positive. 807 00:36:56,498 --> 00:37:00,581 - Uncle Theus, can that be done to a human being? 808 00:37:01,498 --> 00:37:03,748 - Well, theoretically, yes, 809 00:37:04,967 --> 00:37:08,895 but, you know, there are dangers involved. 810 00:37:08,895 --> 00:37:10,295 - What kind of dangers? 811 00:37:10,295 --> 00:37:13,944 - Well, the danger that the embryo will not attach, 812 00:37:13,944 --> 00:37:18,082 the danger of removing the mature fetus, 813 00:37:18,082 --> 00:37:21,749 most importantly, the danger to the carrier. 814 00:37:23,289 --> 00:37:26,956 Any misstep along the way could prove fatal. 815 00:37:29,122 --> 00:37:30,205 - [Kelly] Hm. 816 00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:35,957 - I don't know, Kelly. 817 00:37:35,957 --> 00:37:36,790 - I do. 818 00:37:36,790 --> 00:37:37,866 - But what if- - It won't. 819 00:37:37,866 --> 00:37:39,699 - But can you- - I can. 820 00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:44,097 - Is this some sorta new teenage rap? 821 00:37:44,097 --> 00:37:46,539 - You know, Uncle Theus, you said you'd never be able 822 00:37:46,539 --> 00:37:48,127 to repay me for that experiment. 823 00:37:48,127 --> 00:37:49,377 - That's right. 824 00:37:50,709 --> 00:37:53,209 - I know how you can repay me. 825 00:37:57,178 --> 00:37:58,956 - What in the heck? 826 00:37:58,956 --> 00:38:00,219 Get up! 827 00:38:00,219 --> 00:38:01,399 I'm the principal! 828 00:38:01,399 --> 00:38:03,316 I'm the principal here! 829 00:38:04,319 --> 00:38:05,152 Oh. 830 00:38:06,699 --> 00:38:08,669 I wanted a beaver. 831 00:38:08,669 --> 00:38:12,752 Milton, I assume you are taking up valuable space 832 00:38:13,909 --> 00:38:16,749 in my office for a reason. 833 00:38:16,749 --> 00:38:18,037 What have you got for me? 834 00:38:18,037 --> 00:38:20,620 (mellow music) 835 00:38:24,237 --> 00:38:27,154 Sucking face in the janitor's room, 836 00:38:28,873 --> 00:38:30,873 smoking in the lavatory, 837 00:38:32,474 --> 00:38:34,355 beer cans in the bushes? 838 00:38:34,355 --> 00:38:36,346 - Having them dusted for prints now. 839 00:38:36,346 --> 00:38:37,929 - And spiked punch? 840 00:38:39,456 --> 00:38:41,123 That explains a lot. 841 00:38:42,905 --> 00:38:46,226 Milton, I want to commend you. 842 00:38:46,226 --> 00:38:50,197 Your keen sense of investigative snitchery 843 00:38:50,197 --> 00:38:51,947 has reached new lows. 844 00:38:52,946 --> 00:38:54,945 You may now stand at ease. 845 00:38:54,945 --> 00:38:56,176 - Thank you, sir. 846 00:38:56,176 --> 00:38:58,413 May I say, it's an honor to serve on board 847 00:38:58,413 --> 00:39:01,263 the same ship with you as her commander. 848 00:39:01,263 --> 00:39:02,513 - Yes, you may. 849 00:39:04,218 --> 00:39:05,723 - Uh. 850 00:39:05,723 --> 00:39:07,742 Again, it's an honor to serve on board 851 00:39:07,742 --> 00:39:09,493 the same ship with you as her commander. 852 00:39:09,493 --> 00:39:10,493 - Thank you! 853 00:39:11,785 --> 00:39:15,118 Milton, you are a credit to your school, 854 00:39:16,050 --> 00:39:18,300 and a valuable asset to me. 855 00:39:19,539 --> 00:39:21,948 I want you to step up your efforts to uncover 856 00:39:21,948 --> 00:39:25,615 these offensive everyday teenage activities. 857 00:39:27,101 --> 00:39:29,299 Keep your eyes open and your ears perked 858 00:39:29,299 --> 00:39:32,132 for any rumor of deviant behavior. 859 00:39:37,567 --> 00:39:38,400 - Okay. 860 00:39:39,888 --> 00:39:42,006 (Principal Miller sighs) 861 00:39:42,006 --> 00:39:45,006 (keyboard clicking) 862 00:39:49,356 --> 00:39:52,939 - Oh, wow, this must be the Horror section. 863 00:39:53,886 --> 00:39:55,229 (Kelly chuckles) 864 00:39:55,229 --> 00:39:57,896 (Lisa chuckles) 865 00:39:59,158 --> 00:40:04,158 - If you're looking for something to check out, try this. 866 00:40:04,518 --> 00:40:05,416 - Mm. 867 00:40:05,416 --> 00:40:09,223 I'll take a dozen copies, but not here, not right now. 868 00:40:09,223 --> 00:40:11,012 You've got to be crazy. 869 00:40:11,012 --> 00:40:12,512 - I might just be. 870 00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,380 Wait till you hear this plan. 871 00:40:15,380 --> 00:40:16,630 - [Lisa] What?! 872 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:19,515 - Shh, okay? 873 00:40:19,515 --> 00:40:20,912 It's perfect, all right? 874 00:40:20,912 --> 00:40:22,664 I'll have no problem hiding 10 pounds. 875 00:40:22,664 --> 00:40:24,241 No one will suspect a thing. 876 00:40:24,241 --> 00:40:28,683 And then when school lets out for the summer, I'll have it. 877 00:40:28,683 --> 00:40:30,915 (hand thudding) 878 00:40:30,915 --> 00:40:32,542 (headphones squealing) 879 00:40:32,542 --> 00:40:36,450 - Do you have any idea how difficult it is to carry a baby? 880 00:40:36,450 --> 00:40:37,590 - Hey, I'm a guy. 881 00:40:37,590 --> 00:40:38,910 I can handle it, all right? 882 00:40:38,910 --> 00:40:40,011 How hard could it be? 883 00:40:40,011 --> 00:40:43,609 - You really have no clue, do you? 884 00:40:43,609 --> 00:40:44,678 - So what do you think? 885 00:40:44,678 --> 00:40:47,567 - I think it's the strangest thing I've ever heard. 886 00:40:47,567 --> 00:40:48,467 - Yeah. 887 00:40:48,467 --> 00:40:51,384 Strange or not, it's our best plan. 888 00:40:52,838 --> 00:40:56,238 - This doesn't look like a doctor's office. 889 00:40:56,238 --> 00:40:58,238 Where are all of his diplomas? 890 00:40:58,238 --> 00:41:00,918 - Dr. Theus and his assistant are highly trained, 891 00:41:00,918 --> 00:41:03,217 respected, dedicated professionals. 892 00:41:03,217 --> 00:41:06,190 Dr. Theus, I'd like you to meet Lisa. 893 00:41:06,190 --> 00:41:07,023 - Oh. 894 00:41:08,406 --> 00:41:11,048 Well, it's a pleasure to meet the mate of the man 895 00:41:11,048 --> 00:41:14,798 who will mother the child that you conceived. 896 00:41:17,057 --> 00:41:18,813 - Mm. - And his assistant, 897 00:41:18,813 --> 00:41:20,346 Dr. Moore- (Ditto coughs) 898 00:41:20,346 --> 00:41:21,179 Guh. 899 00:41:22,185 --> 00:41:23,602 Dr. Morgue, Lisa. 900 00:41:24,703 --> 00:41:25,637 - [Lisa] Charmed, I'm sure. 901 00:41:25,637 --> 00:41:29,844 - So, if we are ready, we can begin the procedure. 902 00:41:29,844 --> 00:41:31,087 - Just one question. 903 00:41:31,087 --> 00:41:34,004 You have performed this procedure before, right? 904 00:41:34,004 --> 00:41:34,903 - Uh. 905 00:41:34,903 --> 00:41:35,992 Yeah. Of course. 906 00:41:35,992 --> 00:41:36,989 Yes. 907 00:41:36,989 --> 00:41:39,704 In fact, in fact, Adam will be watching 908 00:41:39,704 --> 00:41:42,024 the entire procedure. 909 00:41:42,024 --> 00:41:43,669 - Adam? 910 00:41:43,669 --> 00:41:48,653 - Adam. Yes, Adam, my first transplant experiment. 911 00:41:48,653 --> 00:41:50,085 - A monkey? 912 00:41:50,085 --> 00:41:50,918 Experiment. 913 00:41:50,918 --> 00:41:52,745 No, no, no, I- 914 00:41:52,745 --> 00:41:54,173 - Mellow out, babe, all right? 915 00:41:54,173 --> 00:41:55,689 This will be a piece of cake. 916 00:41:55,689 --> 00:41:57,147 - Ditto! 917 00:41:57,147 --> 00:41:58,480 (Ditto yelps) 918 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,197 (Lisa sighing) 919 00:42:01,197 --> 00:42:03,604 (body thuds) 920 00:42:03,604 --> 00:42:07,021 - Do I still get to apply the anesthesia? 921 00:42:09,104 --> 00:42:12,456 (gentle music) 922 00:42:12,456 --> 00:42:15,289 (machine beeping) 923 00:42:18,817 --> 00:42:19,650 - Hey. 924 00:42:22,901 --> 00:42:25,129 You okay in there? 925 00:42:25,129 --> 00:42:26,462 Can you hear me? 926 00:42:30,149 --> 00:42:32,982 (machine beeping) 927 00:42:44,132 --> 00:42:46,153 Now, look who's back. 928 00:42:46,153 --> 00:42:47,343 How you doing? 929 00:42:47,343 --> 00:42:50,688 - Lisa? - Oh, no, Lisa's doing fine. 930 00:42:50,688 --> 00:42:51,521 Yeah. 931 00:42:51,521 --> 00:42:56,521 The procedure went perfectly, and now, we just have to wait. 932 00:42:58,238 --> 00:42:59,988 So you get some rest. 933 00:43:01,439 --> 00:43:02,272 Good. 934 00:43:06,259 --> 00:43:08,158 - Class, what you have before you are frogs 935 00:43:08,158 --> 00:43:09,851 that you will be dissecting. 936 00:43:09,851 --> 00:43:12,872 All the materials that you need should be on your desk. 937 00:43:12,872 --> 00:43:14,872 - The whole thing went as slick as snot. 938 00:43:14,872 --> 00:43:15,920 I was the main man, of course, 939 00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,768 but your uncle did do his part. 940 00:43:17,768 --> 00:43:18,959 - Yeah. 941 00:43:18,959 --> 00:43:20,335 I don't even feel any different. 942 00:43:20,335 --> 00:43:24,027 - Well, take it from me, you are, in a family way. 943 00:43:24,027 --> 00:43:25,037 - Yeah. 944 00:43:25,037 --> 00:43:25,938 This is a breeze. 945 00:43:25,938 --> 00:43:27,738 I mean, to think, women have complained 946 00:43:27,738 --> 00:43:29,778 about this for centuries now. 947 00:43:29,778 --> 00:43:32,257 - All right, class, we're ready to begin dissecting 948 00:43:32,257 --> 00:43:34,241 the anatomy of a frog. 949 00:43:34,241 --> 00:43:36,814 - It's all a big gimmick. 950 00:43:36,814 --> 00:43:37,663 - You think? 951 00:43:37,663 --> 00:43:38,732 - Absolutely. 952 00:43:38,732 --> 00:43:40,727 Girls have been lying to guys since Eve told Adam 953 00:43:40,727 --> 00:43:44,207 that there was no worm in that apple. 954 00:43:44,207 --> 00:43:45,504 - Yeah. 955 00:43:45,504 --> 00:43:46,844 Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. 956 00:43:46,844 --> 00:43:49,471 - The first point of order is to slice open 957 00:43:49,471 --> 00:43:51,564 the abdominal cavity. 958 00:43:51,564 --> 00:43:53,087 - You are gonna blow the lid 959 00:43:53,087 --> 00:43:55,618 off of this whole pregnancy scam. 960 00:43:55,618 --> 00:43:57,348 Liberate mankind. 961 00:43:57,348 --> 00:43:58,569 Herald the truth. 962 00:43:58,569 --> 00:43:59,402 (Kelly heaves) (vomit splashes) 963 00:43:59,402 --> 00:44:01,432 (students gasping) 964 00:44:01,432 --> 00:44:03,851 You're just wasting your money with that test. 965 00:44:03,851 --> 00:44:06,800 After all, I am an experienced professional. 966 00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:08,144 - I hate to burst your bubble, Ditto, 967 00:44:08,144 --> 00:44:09,624 but you're only a high school student 968 00:44:09,624 --> 00:44:11,584 who's flunking biology. 969 00:44:11,584 --> 00:44:14,645 I mean, a lot of people get sick at the sight of blood. 970 00:44:14,645 --> 00:44:15,936 - Frog blood? 971 00:44:15,936 --> 00:44:17,336 - Yeah, frog blood. 972 00:44:17,336 --> 00:44:18,454 Just give me a few more minutes, 973 00:44:18,454 --> 00:44:19,996 and I'll let you know for sure. 974 00:44:19,996 --> 00:44:23,347 - I am so sure, I already got you a baby present. 975 00:44:23,347 --> 00:44:25,097 - [Kelly] What is it? 976 00:44:26,088 --> 00:44:26,921 - A baby. 977 00:44:28,019 --> 00:44:28,899 - What? 978 00:44:28,899 --> 00:44:30,480 - You know, one of those pooping, 979 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:32,615 wetting, wah, wah, wah baby dolls? 980 00:44:32,615 --> 00:44:33,887 You'll need the practice, bro. 981 00:44:33,887 --> 00:44:36,917 And from the looks of things, 982 00:44:36,917 --> 00:44:39,143 you might be in for a rough ride. 983 00:44:39,143 --> 00:44:40,454 - [Kelly] What do you mean? 984 00:44:40,454 --> 00:44:43,300 - I mean, the morning sickness, muscle cramps, 985 00:44:43,300 --> 00:44:45,358 swollen feet, backaches, mood swings, 986 00:44:45,358 --> 00:44:48,777 breakouts of acne, and tender nipples. 987 00:44:48,777 --> 00:44:53,194 It says here that the breasts might increase in size! 988 00:44:56,416 --> 00:45:00,734 - You don't suppose I'm gonna like, grow, you know? 989 00:45:00,734 --> 00:45:02,037 - I don't know. 990 00:45:02,037 --> 00:45:03,595 But promise me one thing- 991 00:45:03,595 --> 00:45:04,428 - No. 992 00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:06,119 - If you do- 993 00:45:06,119 --> 00:45:07,697 - Don't even go there. - You'll let me touch them. 994 00:45:07,697 --> 00:45:08,530 - Seriously, Ditto? 995 00:45:08,530 --> 00:45:10,748 - Is that too much to ask from your best friend? 996 00:45:10,748 --> 00:45:13,189 If I had some, I'd let you slap them around. 997 00:45:13,189 --> 00:45:15,069 - You're hopeless. 998 00:45:15,069 --> 00:45:17,986 - Okay, well, what about breathing? 999 00:45:19,517 --> 00:45:21,097 Says here, you got to know how to breathe. 1000 00:45:21,097 --> 00:45:23,587 - Well, I've been doing it all my life, so... 1001 00:45:23,587 --> 00:45:26,758 - Not like this, you haven't. 1002 00:45:26,758 --> 00:45:30,326 Come over here and lay on your back. 1003 00:45:30,326 --> 00:45:33,233 Okay, put one pillow under your head- 1004 00:45:33,233 --> 00:45:35,468 - All right. - And one under your knees. 1005 00:45:35,468 --> 00:45:36,598 - All right. 1006 00:45:36,598 --> 00:45:37,431 - Okay. 1007 00:45:38,371 --> 00:45:41,204 Stage one is deep chest breathing. 1008 00:45:42,433 --> 00:45:46,183 So (inhales) in (exhales) and out. 1009 00:45:46,183 --> 00:45:48,046 In. (both inhaling) 1010 00:45:48,046 --> 00:45:49,004 And out. (both exhaling) 1011 00:45:49,004 --> 00:45:50,286 Magnificent, bro. You got it. 1012 00:45:50,286 --> 00:45:51,444 Okay. - Nothing to it. 1013 00:45:51,444 --> 00:45:56,422 - Yeah. Stage two is accelerated shallow breathing. 1014 00:45:56,422 --> 00:45:57,544 - Okay. 1015 00:45:57,544 --> 00:45:59,734 (Kelly loudly breathing) 1016 00:45:59,734 --> 00:46:01,825 - It's in through the nose, out through the mouth. 1017 00:46:01,825 --> 00:46:02,903 (Kelly loudly breathing) 1018 00:46:02,903 --> 00:46:04,018 Yeah, okay, just like that. 1019 00:46:04,018 --> 00:46:05,770 Just like that. 1020 00:46:05,770 --> 00:46:06,730 Ready?! 1021 00:46:06,730 --> 00:46:09,747 Stage three, pant like a dog. 1022 00:46:09,747 --> 00:46:11,136 No, no, no, faster like this, like... 1023 00:46:11,136 --> 00:46:13,883 (Ditto loudly breathing) 1024 00:46:13,883 --> 00:46:15,232 Oh, why, Candy... 1025 00:46:15,232 --> 00:46:17,131 Oh, oh, Candy. 1026 00:46:17,131 --> 00:46:19,012 Oh, Candy, I want to kiss you. 1027 00:46:19,012 --> 00:46:19,845 Oh! 1028 00:46:19,845 --> 00:46:21,380 Okay, you ready?! 1029 00:46:21,380 --> 00:46:22,510 Stage four! 1030 00:46:22,510 --> 00:46:23,843 - "Stage four"?! 1031 00:46:25,123 --> 00:46:26,315 - Delivery breathing! 1032 00:46:26,315 --> 00:46:29,024 (Ditto grunts) - Ow. 1033 00:46:29,024 --> 00:46:30,194 - Push! 1034 00:46:30,194 --> 00:46:31,102 (Kelly exhales) 1035 00:46:31,102 --> 00:46:32,601 Come on! Just keep blowing out! 1036 00:46:32,601 --> 00:46:34,323 Push! Oh, you're dilated! 1037 00:46:34,323 --> 00:46:35,388 Oh! 1038 00:46:35,388 --> 00:46:36,221 - What am I pushing? 1039 00:46:36,221 --> 00:46:37,745 - I don't know. Okay, here we go. 1040 00:46:37,745 --> 00:46:38,578 Here we go. 1041 00:46:38,578 --> 00:46:39,697 Nurse! 1042 00:46:39,697 --> 00:46:41,681 Oh, oh, you're dilated. 10 centimeters. 1043 00:46:41,681 --> 00:46:42,962 Okay, here we- - I'm getting dizzy. 1044 00:46:42,962 --> 00:46:44,001 - Oh, you're so strong! 1045 00:46:44,001 --> 00:46:44,899 You're so strong! 1046 00:46:44,899 --> 00:46:45,937 - Ew! 1047 00:46:45,937 --> 00:46:47,006 - He's crowning! 1048 00:46:47,006 --> 00:46:47,839 Come on! 1049 00:46:53,176 --> 00:46:54,307 Okay. 1050 00:46:54,307 --> 00:46:55,477 Okay. 1051 00:46:55,477 --> 00:46:56,445 Okay. 1052 00:46:56,445 --> 00:46:57,605 We did it. 1053 00:46:57,605 --> 00:46:58,717 (Kelly sighs) 1054 00:46:58,717 --> 00:46:59,952 You can rest. 1055 00:46:59,952 --> 00:47:01,397 Okay. 1056 00:47:01,397 --> 00:47:02,230 Not bad. 1057 00:47:02,230 --> 00:47:03,814 (Ditto panting) 1058 00:47:03,814 --> 00:47:06,814 (Kelly panting) 1059 00:47:06,814 --> 00:47:07,974 - All right, it's time. 1060 00:47:07,974 --> 00:47:08,926 Clear means negative. 1061 00:47:08,926 --> 00:47:12,093 Blue means all my problems are solved. 1062 00:47:13,958 --> 00:47:18,958 (doll clatters) (glass clatters) 1063 00:47:19,786 --> 00:47:20,829 I'm a mother! 1064 00:47:20,829 --> 00:47:21,662 Woo! 1065 00:47:22,549 --> 00:47:24,056 Yeah, yeah! - Hey, hey, hey, hey! 1066 00:47:24,056 --> 00:47:27,166 - Woo! - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 1067 00:47:27,166 --> 00:47:29,685 (pages rustling) 1068 00:47:29,685 --> 00:47:31,133 - Aw, gross! 1069 00:47:31,133 --> 00:47:33,501 She looks like she ate a bowling ball! 1070 00:47:33,501 --> 00:47:34,853 - That's because there's a baby in there. 1071 00:47:34,853 --> 00:47:36,512 - She ate a baby? 1072 00:47:36,512 --> 00:47:39,131 - No. She's gonna give birth to a baby. 1073 00:47:39,131 --> 00:47:41,171 - What are those weird lines on her stomach?! 1074 00:47:41,171 --> 00:47:42,023 - Those are stretchmarks. 1075 00:47:42,023 --> 00:47:44,424 When the baby grows, she gets stretched out. 1076 00:47:44,424 --> 00:47:47,064 - Why are you looking at this stupid stuff anyway? 1077 00:47:47,064 --> 00:47:48,675 - Why don't you go stick your head in the lawnmower? 1078 00:47:48,675 --> 00:47:49,973 - Cost you a dollar. 1079 00:47:49,973 --> 00:47:52,104 - That's a bargain, but I don't have it. 1080 00:47:52,104 --> 00:47:53,624 - I'll put it on your tab. 1081 00:47:53,624 --> 00:47:56,124 (Kelly sighs) 1082 00:48:00,664 --> 00:48:02,877 - [Jeff] You got a minute? 1083 00:48:02,877 --> 00:48:04,319 - Sure. Come on in. 1084 00:48:04,319 --> 00:48:05,362 - What are you studying? 1085 00:48:05,362 --> 00:48:07,029 - Just some biology. 1086 00:48:08,319 --> 00:48:10,170 - Biology, huh? 1087 00:48:10,170 --> 00:48:13,380 I was never very good in biology. 1088 00:48:13,380 --> 00:48:15,564 Never very good in school in general. 1089 00:48:15,564 --> 00:48:18,318 Maybe that's why I'm so proud of you, son. 1090 00:48:18,318 --> 00:48:19,910 Certainly can't take credit for it, 1091 00:48:19,910 --> 00:48:22,243 but you are one special kid. 1092 00:48:23,110 --> 00:48:27,859 An A student, star pitcher, you never get in any trouble, 1093 00:48:27,859 --> 00:48:30,935 and you've never caused me to lose a night's sleep. 1094 00:48:30,935 --> 00:48:33,223 I'm just thankful you're my boy. 1095 00:48:33,223 --> 00:48:34,499 - Well, I try my best. 1096 00:48:34,499 --> 00:48:38,260 - I know you do, son, but all work and no play. 1097 00:48:38,260 --> 00:48:39,249 - What do you mean? 1098 00:48:39,249 --> 00:48:42,520 - What I mean is, well, in my senior year, 1099 00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,528 it was the most memorable year of my life. 1100 00:48:45,528 --> 00:48:48,669 You could expect the unexpected from me. 1101 00:48:48,669 --> 00:48:50,181 Son, just don't get bogged down 1102 00:48:50,181 --> 00:48:51,771 with the pressures of school. 1103 00:48:51,771 --> 00:48:53,029 Live a little. 1104 00:48:53,029 --> 00:48:54,064 Be unique! 1105 00:48:54,064 --> 00:48:55,808 Do something a little crazy. 1106 00:48:55,808 --> 00:48:56,799 (Kelly chuckles) 1107 00:48:56,799 --> 00:48:59,799 In my year, I swallowed 13 goldfish. 1108 00:49:01,008 --> 00:49:02,189 School record. 1109 00:49:02,189 --> 00:49:04,720 You might not want to do something that extreme. 1110 00:49:04,720 --> 00:49:06,789 Of course, you couldn't cause half the stir 1111 00:49:06,789 --> 00:49:09,333 that your old man did. 1112 00:49:09,333 --> 00:49:12,750 By the way, I talked to your Uncle Theus. 1113 00:49:14,718 --> 00:49:16,038 - You did? 1114 00:49:16,038 --> 00:49:16,871 - Yeah. 1115 00:49:18,625 --> 00:49:22,977 He said you two are doing some secret science project. 1116 00:49:22,977 --> 00:49:24,366 - He did? 1117 00:49:24,366 --> 00:49:25,823 - Yeah. 1118 00:49:25,823 --> 00:49:26,788 That's my boy. 1119 00:49:26,788 --> 00:49:28,205 Mr. Conservative. 1120 00:49:31,588 --> 00:49:33,386 (Kelly sighs) 1121 00:49:33,386 --> 00:49:35,439 ♪ Well, it could have been the sea ♪ 1122 00:49:35,439 --> 00:49:37,590 ♪ That kept you in your shell ♪ 1123 00:49:37,590 --> 00:49:41,662 ♪ It could have been the Devil that made your life Hell ♪ 1124 00:49:41,662 --> 00:49:43,988 ♪ It could have been an angel ♪ 1125 00:49:43,988 --> 00:49:48,988 ♪ Who blamed you for losing his wings ♪ 1126 00:49:50,049 --> 00:49:52,407 ♪ Well, it could have been a candle ♪ 1127 00:49:52,407 --> 00:49:54,276 ♪ That just burned to quick ♪ 1128 00:49:54,276 --> 00:49:58,524 ♪ It could have been a stranger taking treats for tricks ♪ 1129 00:49:58,524 --> 00:50:03,524 ♪ It could have been tomorrow that dangled today on a string ♪ 1130 00:50:06,912 --> 00:50:09,543 ♪ Well, it could have been the summer ♪ 1131 00:50:09,543 --> 00:50:11,684 ♪ Could have been the spring ♪ 1132 00:50:11,684 --> 00:50:15,303 ♪ Could have been the rising cost of a ring ♪ 1133 00:50:15,303 --> 00:50:19,391 ♪ Well, it could have been any number of things ♪ 1134 00:50:19,391 --> 00:50:24,391 ♪ But everybody knows it was me ♪ 1135 00:50:25,741 --> 00:50:29,999 ♪ Well, it could have been a brainstorm that blew your mind ♪ 1136 00:50:29,999 --> 00:50:34,268 ♪ It could have been a timeshare that stole your time ♪ 1137 00:50:34,268 --> 00:50:39,268 ♪ It could have been an accident waiting to take control ♪ 1138 00:50:42,588 --> 00:50:46,839 ♪ Well, it could have been a singer that just wanted a hit ♪ 1139 00:50:46,839 --> 00:50:51,113 ♪ It could have been a swinger that swung and missed ♪ 1140 00:50:51,113 --> 00:50:56,113 ♪ It could have been the whether or not to stay or go ♪ 1141 00:50:59,361 --> 00:51:02,001 ♪ Well, it could have been the winter ♪ 1142 00:51:02,001 --> 00:51:04,102 ♪ Could have been the fall ♪ 1143 00:51:04,102 --> 00:51:07,780 ♪ Could have been how you were to pay for it all ♪ 1144 00:51:07,780 --> 00:51:11,930 ♪ Well, it could have been any number of things ♪ 1145 00:51:11,930 --> 00:51:16,930 ♪ But everybody knows it was me ♪ 1146 00:51:18,021 --> 00:51:19,422 ♪ It was me ♪ 1147 00:51:19,422 --> 00:51:22,123 ♪ I'm in love with you still ♪ 1148 00:51:22,123 --> 00:51:23,545 ♪ It was me ♪ 1149 00:51:23,545 --> 00:51:25,993 ♪ I'm in love with you still ♪ 1150 00:51:25,993 --> 00:51:27,612 ♪ It was me ♪ 1151 00:51:27,612 --> 00:51:30,132 ♪ I'm in love with you still ♪ 1152 00:51:30,132 --> 00:51:33,964 ♪ It was you ♪ 1153 00:51:33,964 --> 00:51:35,114 ♪ Woo ♪ 1154 00:51:35,114 --> 00:51:37,030 ♪ You ♪ 1155 00:51:37,030 --> 00:51:39,447 (door opens) 1156 00:51:41,774 --> 00:51:43,357 - Well, well, well. 1157 00:51:45,433 --> 00:51:48,023 If it isn't lover boy... 1158 00:51:48,023 --> 00:51:50,175 - Please, Bronco, I got to go real bad. 1159 00:51:50,175 --> 00:51:51,964 - Oh, you'll go right, 1160 00:51:51,964 --> 00:51:54,374 to the hospital if I ever catch you putting 1161 00:51:54,374 --> 00:51:57,008 your dirty hands on my girl again. 1162 00:51:57,008 --> 00:51:59,148 - Please, just step aside. 1163 00:51:59,148 --> 00:52:00,199 - What was that? 1164 00:52:00,199 --> 00:52:01,717 Step outside? 1165 00:52:01,717 --> 00:52:04,866 You want to step outside with me, do you, loser boy? 1166 00:52:04,866 --> 00:52:06,033 - Ow, not the nipples. 1167 00:52:06,033 --> 00:52:07,352 It hurts. 1168 00:52:07,352 --> 00:52:08,400 - Come on. 1169 00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:10,369 (hand tapping) Hit me with your best shot. 1170 00:52:10,369 --> 00:52:11,537 Pour it on me. 1171 00:52:11,537 --> 00:52:12,696 (jeans zipping) 1172 00:52:12,696 --> 00:52:13,776 (urine splashing) 1173 00:52:13,776 --> 00:52:15,897 (Kelly sighs) 1174 00:52:15,897 --> 00:52:17,515 Why, you little- 1175 00:52:17,515 --> 00:52:22,348 - Do I detect the odoriferous presence of smoking tobacco? 1176 00:52:23,805 --> 00:52:24,794 - No, sir. 1177 00:52:24,794 --> 00:52:25,754 (Bronco sniff) 1178 00:52:25,754 --> 00:52:27,454 I don't smell a thing. 1179 00:52:27,454 --> 00:52:28,837 Me and the boys here were just talking about 1180 00:52:28,837 --> 00:52:30,692 what a smoggy day it was. 1181 00:52:30,692 --> 00:52:32,838 Right, boys? - Absolutely, that's right. 1182 00:52:32,838 --> 00:52:34,078 - Yes. 1183 00:52:34,078 --> 00:52:38,356 So smoggy, in fact, that there is a substantial haze 1184 00:52:38,356 --> 00:52:42,846 curiously culminating right here in the boys' bathroom. 1185 00:52:42,846 --> 00:52:43,918 - Yes, sir. 1186 00:52:43,918 --> 00:52:46,001 Very curious indeed, sir. 1187 00:52:47,038 --> 00:52:49,062 Well, we better be get going. 1188 00:52:49,062 --> 00:52:52,583 I don't want to miss any of my algebra lessons, you know. 1189 00:52:52,583 --> 00:52:54,153 Nice seeing you again, Principal Miller. 1190 00:52:54,153 --> 00:52:57,153 - Mm, the pleasure's all mine, boys. 1191 00:53:00,062 --> 00:53:03,979 Kelly Hankins, just the person I wanted to see. 1192 00:53:05,662 --> 00:53:06,872 - I am? 1193 00:53:06,872 --> 00:53:08,455 - Yes. Yes, my boy. 1194 00:53:10,470 --> 00:53:12,942 It has come to my attention lately 1195 00:53:12,942 --> 00:53:17,525 that your schoolwork has suffered a serious regression. 1196 00:53:18,502 --> 00:53:22,289 - Well, my grades have dipped a little. 1197 00:53:22,289 --> 00:53:23,702 - "Dipped"? 1198 00:53:23,702 --> 00:53:27,643 Boy, they've crashed harder than a bull rider's bottom. 1199 00:53:27,643 --> 00:53:28,883 - I'm sorry, sir. 1200 00:53:28,883 --> 00:53:33,630 - Kelly, in a class full of chronic underachievers, 1201 00:53:33,630 --> 00:53:37,852 you have always been the one bright spot. 1202 00:53:37,852 --> 00:53:42,852 The only honor student among a multitude of mental pygmies. 1203 00:53:42,852 --> 00:53:44,019 Confide in me. 1204 00:53:45,012 --> 00:53:46,845 Tell me, what's wrong? 1205 00:53:48,681 --> 00:53:50,574 - Nothing, sir. 1206 00:53:50,574 --> 00:53:53,020 - A social problem perhaps? 1207 00:53:53,020 --> 00:53:55,970 You know, quite often, such a dramatic reversal 1208 00:53:55,970 --> 00:53:59,540 is the result of a lack of self-esteem, 1209 00:53:59,540 --> 00:54:03,457 the perception that there's something abnormal, 1210 00:54:05,060 --> 00:54:07,393 that you don't quite fit in. 1211 00:54:10,370 --> 00:54:12,188 You're not suicidal, are you? 1212 00:54:12,188 --> 00:54:13,021 - No, sir. 1213 00:54:13,021 --> 00:54:14,786 - Well, see to it that you're not. 1214 00:54:14,786 --> 00:54:16,746 I would hate to have my school tarnished 1215 00:54:16,746 --> 00:54:19,385 by your thoughtless act. 1216 00:54:19,385 --> 00:54:23,367 Still, I have this intuition that there's 1217 00:54:23,367 --> 00:54:27,190 something peculiar you're hiding from me. 1218 00:54:27,190 --> 00:54:30,151 I can't quite put my finger on it, 1219 00:54:30,151 --> 00:54:32,831 but rest assured, sooner or later, 1220 00:54:32,831 --> 00:54:36,612 you will not be able to hold it inside you any longer, 1221 00:54:36,612 --> 00:54:39,029 and it will burst out of you. 1222 00:54:40,911 --> 00:54:43,092 - I'm sure it will, sir. 1223 00:54:43,092 --> 00:54:45,852 May I go back to class now? 1224 00:54:45,852 --> 00:54:47,435 - You're dismissed. 1225 00:54:51,791 --> 00:54:55,458 (Principal Miller sniffing) 1226 00:54:58,751 --> 00:55:01,334 (bag rustling) 1227 00:55:05,221 --> 00:55:06,732 - 180? 1228 00:55:06,732 --> 00:55:07,732 That's 35... 1229 00:55:08,762 --> 00:55:11,151 35 pounds in six months? 1230 00:55:11,151 --> 00:55:13,313 I mean, I was only supposed to gain 10 pounds 1231 00:55:13,313 --> 00:55:14,913 the whole nine months. 1232 00:55:14,913 --> 00:55:16,358 Stop gorging, you oinker. 1233 00:55:16,358 --> 00:55:18,880 Cut down on the chow or else. 1234 00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:19,713 Oh. 1235 00:55:21,406 --> 00:55:22,568 What the? 1236 00:55:22,568 --> 00:55:25,151 (gentle music) 1237 00:55:33,088 --> 00:55:33,984 Oh. 1238 00:55:33,984 --> 00:55:34,817 He kicked. 1239 00:55:36,470 --> 00:55:39,550 Hey, can you hear me in there? 1240 00:55:39,550 --> 00:55:41,920 Listen, that's quite a kick you got there. 1241 00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:44,990 I mean, you could make All-State. 1242 00:55:44,990 --> 00:55:46,823 What if you're a girl? 1243 00:55:47,950 --> 00:55:50,438 You can still make All-State. 1244 00:55:50,438 --> 00:55:54,051 People may laugh and point at you, trust me, I know, 1245 00:55:54,051 --> 00:55:56,639 might feel scared or deserted, 1246 00:55:56,639 --> 00:55:58,889 but I'll always be there for you. 1247 00:55:58,889 --> 00:56:01,059 I wouldn't do this for just anyone. 1248 00:56:01,059 --> 00:56:02,309 You're special. 1249 00:56:03,659 --> 00:56:04,760 If want to sock me one day 1250 00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:07,593 because of all this, I understand. 1251 00:56:09,159 --> 00:56:11,857 I just want to meet you. 1252 00:56:11,857 --> 00:56:16,009 Promise I'll do anything to make that happen. 1253 00:56:16,009 --> 00:56:17,673 By the way, forget that crack 1254 00:56:17,673 --> 00:56:20,854 about cutting down on the chow. 1255 00:56:20,854 --> 00:56:25,271 You're gonna need all your strength to play football. 1256 00:56:26,312 --> 00:56:27,482 - Yeah. - Oh, it was disgusting. 1257 00:56:27,482 --> 00:56:28,701 - Who would do that? - I can't believe it. 1258 00:56:28,701 --> 00:56:30,771 I have no idea. 1259 00:56:30,771 --> 00:56:32,372 Oh, my gosh. 1260 00:56:32,372 --> 00:56:33,455 Look at this. 1261 00:56:37,900 --> 00:56:40,573 Have you ever seen a more pitiful sight? 1262 00:56:40,573 --> 00:56:43,429 - He's gone from hot to so not. 1263 00:56:43,429 --> 00:56:46,086 - [Brunette Girl] From cool to fool. 1264 00:56:46,086 --> 00:56:51,086 - [Dark Haired Girl] From super athletic to Mr. pathetic. 1265 00:56:51,298 --> 00:56:52,381 - Well? Lisa? 1266 00:56:53,798 --> 00:56:55,166 - Oh. 1267 00:56:55,166 --> 00:56:56,666 From hunk to junk. 1268 00:56:58,404 --> 00:57:00,354 (girls laughing) - Nice. 1269 00:57:00,354 --> 00:57:02,863 Ugh, freakazoid warning at 12 o'clock. 1270 00:57:02,863 --> 00:57:06,794 Let's get out of here before he contaminates us. 1271 00:57:06,794 --> 00:57:08,343 - Pure awesomeness. (camera snaps) 1272 00:57:08,343 --> 00:57:10,260 This one's going viral. 1273 00:57:11,434 --> 00:57:12,267 Hey, wait. 1274 00:57:25,300 --> 00:57:26,771 - Hey, stranger. 1275 00:57:26,771 --> 00:57:28,477 Haven't seen much of you lately. 1276 00:57:28,477 --> 00:57:30,512 - Speaking of stranger, 1277 00:57:30,512 --> 00:57:33,283 that's what you're becoming more and more of every day. 1278 00:57:33,283 --> 00:57:34,363 - What do you mean? 1279 00:57:34,363 --> 00:57:37,613 - I mean everyone is talking about you. 1280 00:57:38,502 --> 00:57:40,294 What happened to only gaining 10 pounds? 1281 00:57:40,294 --> 00:57:42,870 You've become the joke of the entire school. 1282 00:57:42,870 --> 00:57:44,789 - I don't care what everyone else thinks. 1283 00:57:44,789 --> 00:57:46,439 What do you think? 1284 00:57:46,439 --> 00:57:48,537 - I don't know, Kelly. 1285 00:57:48,537 --> 00:57:51,068 Part of me thinks you're this special guy for doing this, 1286 00:57:51,068 --> 00:57:53,818 but part of me says, "Stay clear. 1287 00:57:55,289 --> 00:57:56,788 Danger zone." 1288 00:57:56,788 --> 00:57:58,048 - "Stay clear"? 1289 00:57:58,048 --> 00:57:59,754 "Danger," really? 1290 00:57:59,754 --> 00:58:02,103 You're right about one thing, Lisa, I am a special guy. 1291 00:58:02,103 --> 00:58:03,023 I risked it all for you, 1292 00:58:03,023 --> 00:58:06,543 and I'll do the same for our baby, with or without you. 1293 00:58:06,543 --> 00:58:08,293 The decision's yours. 1294 00:58:14,665 --> 00:58:15,585 That's it. 1295 00:58:15,585 --> 00:58:17,186 Get those legs up. 1296 00:58:17,186 --> 00:58:18,917 Keep it going. 1297 00:58:18,917 --> 00:58:20,066 (Kelly sighs) 1298 00:58:20,066 --> 00:58:22,082 All right. All right. 1299 00:58:22,082 --> 00:58:24,059 We're gonna do some toe touches. 1300 00:58:24,059 --> 00:58:25,510 All right. 1301 00:58:25,510 --> 00:58:26,843 One, two, three. 1302 00:58:29,830 --> 00:58:31,430 All right, that's it. 1303 00:58:31,430 --> 00:58:33,321 That's a great class. 1304 00:58:33,321 --> 00:58:35,369 I'll see you next month. 1305 00:58:35,369 --> 00:58:38,036 (Kelly panting) 1306 00:58:42,489 --> 00:58:45,367 - You know, I don't know, 1307 00:58:45,367 --> 00:58:48,137 I just don't have the motivation to workout anymore. 1308 00:58:48,137 --> 00:58:51,337 - Yeah, you and about a hundred other people. 1309 00:58:51,337 --> 00:58:53,837 (Kelly sighs) 1310 00:58:56,929 --> 00:58:58,637 - Face it, Ace, you've lost it. 1311 00:58:58,637 --> 00:59:02,285 That spring in your step, the fantastic frame, 1312 00:59:02,285 --> 00:59:04,994 the pulsating pelvis, gone. 1313 00:59:04,994 --> 00:59:06,314 - That's not all I've lost. 1314 00:59:06,314 --> 00:59:07,746 Lisa and I broke up. 1315 00:59:07,746 --> 00:59:08,579 - Oh, no. 1316 00:59:09,645 --> 00:59:12,343 Another abandoned teenage mother. 1317 00:59:12,343 --> 00:59:15,103 Just another sad statistic in this depraved society. 1318 00:59:15,103 --> 00:59:16,218 Ugh. 1319 00:59:16,218 --> 00:59:18,082 (tongue clicking) 1320 00:59:18,082 --> 00:59:19,410 What are you gonna do? 1321 00:59:19,410 --> 00:59:21,581 - I don't know, Ditto. 1322 00:59:21,581 --> 00:59:22,791 I'm just so confused. 1323 00:59:22,791 --> 00:59:26,124 I don't know who I am or even what I am. 1324 00:59:27,453 --> 00:59:29,953 - I know exactly how you feel. 1325 00:59:30,903 --> 00:59:34,061 - When I started this thing, it all felt so right. 1326 00:59:34,061 --> 00:59:35,759 I mean, nothing else in the world mattered. 1327 00:59:35,759 --> 00:59:39,181 Then when Lisa broke up with me, it just... 1328 00:59:39,181 --> 00:59:40,848 I don't know if I can continue on. 1329 00:59:40,848 --> 00:59:42,598 - Hey, cheer up, guy. 1330 00:59:46,028 --> 00:59:47,573 (Ditto sighs) 1331 00:59:47,573 --> 00:59:50,114 It's always darkest before the dawn. 1332 00:59:50,114 --> 00:59:53,281 At least it can't get much worse, huh? 1333 00:59:57,690 --> 00:59:59,051 - I got fired. 1334 00:59:59,051 --> 00:59:59,899 I got fired! 1335 00:59:59,899 --> 01:00:02,649 (letter rustles) 1336 01:00:05,629 --> 01:00:07,807 - Important information for you, 1337 01:00:07,807 --> 01:00:09,509 before you play baseball, 1338 01:00:09,509 --> 01:00:11,277 there's one thing you must do 1339 01:00:11,277 --> 01:00:14,088 before you're gonna be eligible to play, 1340 01:00:14,088 --> 01:00:16,539 and that's a physical. 1341 01:00:16,539 --> 01:00:17,528 We have a great nurse. 1342 01:00:17,528 --> 01:00:20,048 She's a new nurse. Her name is Zelda. 1343 01:00:20,048 --> 01:00:21,385 Really knows her medicine. 1344 01:00:21,385 --> 01:00:22,976 But once you pass the physical, 1345 01:00:22,976 --> 01:00:25,617 yay, you're ready to be a Bloodhound! 1346 01:00:25,617 --> 01:00:26,450 You know? 1347 01:00:26,450 --> 01:00:27,508 It's just part of the game. 1348 01:00:27,508 --> 01:00:29,489 Just part of the game, part of the process. 1349 01:00:29,489 --> 01:00:32,074 So I'd like for you all to (inhales) take a deep breath. 1350 01:00:32,074 --> 01:00:33,314 Everybody. 1351 01:00:33,314 --> 01:00:35,811 Okay, now get up on your feet, 1352 01:00:35,811 --> 01:00:37,763 and exit this way through the medical building. 1353 01:00:37,763 --> 01:00:38,596 Go ahead. 1354 01:00:39,670 --> 01:00:41,070 Attaboy. 1355 01:00:41,070 --> 01:00:41,903 Way to go, guys. (hand patting) 1356 01:00:41,903 --> 01:00:42,849 Way to go. 1357 01:00:42,849 --> 01:00:46,188 - Please answer following questions 1358 01:00:46,188 --> 01:00:48,355 to best of your knowledge. 1359 01:00:50,257 --> 01:00:51,358 Age? 1360 01:00:51,358 --> 01:00:52,217 - 18. 1361 01:00:52,217 --> 01:00:53,249 - Height? 1362 01:00:53,249 --> 01:00:54,324 - [Kelly] 5'8". 1363 01:00:54,324 --> 01:00:55,556 - [Zelda] Weight? 1364 01:00:55,556 --> 01:00:57,223 - A little over 160. 1365 01:00:58,775 --> 01:01:01,275 (Zelda sighs) 1366 01:01:02,318 --> 01:01:05,235 - Must we weigh you on scale naked? 1367 01:01:08,528 --> 01:01:10,528 - 187.4 pounds, exactly. 1368 01:01:14,346 --> 01:01:15,699 - Mm-hm. 1369 01:01:15,699 --> 01:01:19,366 Have you been experiencing any of following? 1370 01:01:22,558 --> 01:01:24,308 Unusual aches, pains, 1371 01:01:27,048 --> 01:01:30,881 sudden weight gain, coordination difficulties, 1372 01:01:31,848 --> 01:01:33,598 nausea, incontinence, 1373 01:01:34,557 --> 01:01:38,048 breathing irregularities, emotional distress? 1374 01:01:38,048 --> 01:01:39,061 - No! 1375 01:01:39,061 --> 01:01:40,588 - All right. 1376 01:01:40,588 --> 01:01:41,671 Remove shirt. 1377 01:01:44,627 --> 01:01:46,210 - I'm a little shy. 1378 01:01:53,656 --> 01:01:55,196 - Hot damn! 1379 01:01:55,196 --> 01:01:58,027 That is biggest one of those I've ever seen. 1380 01:01:58,027 --> 01:02:01,397 - Do you want me to put my shirt back on? 1381 01:02:01,397 --> 01:02:02,480 - No, no, no. 1382 01:02:04,368 --> 01:02:05,717 No. 1383 01:02:05,717 --> 01:02:08,134 I am professional, after all. 1384 01:02:13,095 --> 01:02:15,178 Where should we put this? 1385 01:02:17,114 --> 01:02:17,947 Okay. 1386 01:02:25,805 --> 01:02:27,138 That is strange. 1387 01:02:29,645 --> 01:02:32,145 I think I hear two heartbeats. 1388 01:02:36,445 --> 01:02:39,327 - That's because, um, my heart beats 1389 01:02:39,327 --> 01:02:42,160 twice as fast when I'm around you. 1390 01:02:43,464 --> 01:02:46,464 - Well, you are a sweet talker, you. 1391 01:02:49,833 --> 01:02:50,666 Yes. 1392 01:02:54,872 --> 01:02:57,205 You know, I could be charmed 1393 01:03:00,700 --> 01:03:05,250 into becoming cougar for you, little lion cub. 1394 01:03:05,250 --> 01:03:07,417 - You're out of my league. 1395 01:03:10,858 --> 01:03:13,025 - Well, you'll let me know 1396 01:03:16,487 --> 01:03:19,154 when you graduate to the majors. 1397 01:03:22,949 --> 01:03:24,495 - Gas. 1398 01:03:24,495 --> 01:03:29,102 - Do you want my professional medical opinion? 1399 01:03:29,102 --> 01:03:30,142 - I guess? 1400 01:03:30,142 --> 01:03:32,475 - My professional opinion is 1401 01:03:35,716 --> 01:03:37,049 you're pregnant. 1402 01:03:38,530 --> 01:03:39,363 Pregnant. 1403 01:03:40,578 --> 01:03:42,161 You know, boo, wah. 1404 01:03:46,447 --> 01:03:49,030 (Zelda laughs) 1405 01:03:50,410 --> 01:03:53,039 The look on your face. 1406 01:03:53,039 --> 01:03:55,770 To think that I quit being standup comedian 1407 01:03:55,770 --> 01:03:57,375 to become nurse, yeah? 1408 01:03:57,375 --> 01:03:58,574 - Uh-huh. - Yes. 1409 01:03:58,574 --> 01:04:01,574 (upbeat rock music) 1410 01:04:15,589 --> 01:04:16,469 - Hey, Candy. 1411 01:04:16,469 --> 01:04:18,488 Thanks for coming to support the team. 1412 01:04:18,488 --> 01:04:21,149 - Came to support my knight in shining armor. 1413 01:04:21,149 --> 01:04:23,867 - Thanks. I appreciate it. 1414 01:04:23,867 --> 01:04:25,200 - You seem down. 1415 01:04:26,096 --> 01:04:28,916 - I haven't really been myself lately. 1416 01:04:28,916 --> 01:04:31,961 - Well, I've got a little surprise for you, 1417 01:04:31,961 --> 01:04:35,680 something to help you warm up before the game. 1418 01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:37,150 - What's that? 1419 01:04:37,150 --> 01:04:38,478 - A knight always carries a piece 1420 01:04:38,478 --> 01:04:41,220 of his damsel's clothing into battle. 1421 01:04:41,220 --> 01:04:43,402 Would you do that for me? 1422 01:04:43,402 --> 01:04:44,485 - I guess so. 1423 01:04:45,548 --> 01:04:47,348 What are you... 1424 01:04:47,348 --> 01:04:49,765 - How's that for inspiration? 1425 01:04:51,113 --> 01:04:52,741 - I got to go. Okay. 1426 01:04:52,741 --> 01:04:53,950 - Batter up. 1427 01:04:53,950 --> 01:04:56,533 (lively music) 1428 01:04:58,130 --> 01:04:59,340 - Play ball! 1429 01:04:59,340 --> 01:05:01,940 ♪ Let's go ♪ 1430 01:05:01,940 --> 01:05:04,030 ♪ Batter up ♪ 1431 01:05:04,030 --> 01:05:05,475 ♪ Woo ♪ 1432 01:05:05,475 --> 01:05:08,876 ♪ Your glory days are now a haze ♪ 1433 01:05:08,876 --> 01:05:11,371 ♪ Your peak is far behind you ♪ 1434 01:05:11,371 --> 01:05:12,204 (Coach Dombrowski groans) 1435 01:05:12,204 --> 01:05:17,204 ♪ You're trying to recapture that old thrill ♪ 1436 01:05:18,701 --> 01:05:22,301 ♪ When you trip and fall and drop the ball ♪ 1437 01:05:22,301 --> 01:05:25,616 ♪ It's suddenly a reminder ♪ 1438 01:05:25,616 --> 01:05:30,616 ♪ The spirit's strong, but your body's gone downhill ♪ 1439 01:05:31,942 --> 01:05:33,593 ♪ Now you're awake ♪ 1440 01:05:33,593 --> 01:05:38,593 ♪ But it seems you've only been a legend in your dreams ♪ 1441 01:05:39,073 --> 01:05:44,073 ♪ And talent really never got you very far ♪ 1442 01:05:45,563 --> 01:05:48,313 ♪ 'Cause you can't hit, field, or throw ♪ 1443 01:05:48,313 --> 01:05:52,084 ♪ Oh, buddy, there is one thing you should know ♪ 1444 01:05:52,084 --> 01:05:56,724 ♪ You're just a washed-up, broke-down subpar superstar ♪ 1445 01:05:56,724 --> 01:06:01,141 ♪ You know you are, subpar superstar ♪ 1446 01:06:02,372 --> 01:06:05,039 (singer laughs) 1447 01:06:06,532 --> 01:06:07,570 - Time. 1448 01:06:07,570 --> 01:06:09,429 - [Umpire] Timeout! 1449 01:06:09,429 --> 01:06:11,364 - This clown's crowding the plate. 1450 01:06:11,364 --> 01:06:12,807 Give him the brush-back pitch. 1451 01:06:12,807 --> 01:06:15,557 (dramatic music) 1452 01:06:20,694 --> 01:06:22,804 Better suck it up. 1453 01:06:22,804 --> 01:06:25,637 This one's coming down the inside. 1454 01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:31,687 - Take your base. - Hey! 1455 01:06:31,687 --> 01:06:32,569 Hey! 1456 01:06:32,569 --> 01:06:34,315 He threw at him! 1457 01:06:34,315 --> 01:06:35,235 (Coach Dombrowski grunts) 1458 01:06:35,235 --> 01:06:36,246 Hey! 1459 01:06:36,246 --> 01:06:37,310 You ordered a beanball. 1460 01:06:37,310 --> 01:06:38,929 - Yeah, should have ordered a pizza. 1461 01:06:38,929 --> 01:06:41,841 - When you talk to my team, talk with respect. 1462 01:06:41,841 --> 01:06:44,241 - That's not a Butterhill Hound, that's a hippo. 1463 01:06:44,241 --> 01:06:45,296 - That's a hippo? 1464 01:06:45,296 --> 01:06:46,975 Do you really think that's a hippo? 1465 01:06:46,975 --> 01:06:48,165 You don't know what's a good name. 1466 01:06:48,165 --> 01:06:49,491 (Coach Dombrowski grunts) - Hey, hey! 1467 01:06:49,491 --> 01:06:50,474 - Take it, take it! - Knock it off, Coach. 1468 01:06:50,474 --> 01:06:51,938 - [Coach Dombrowski] Take it. Get outta the way! 1469 01:06:51,938 --> 01:06:52,952 Take it! - I said knock it off! 1470 01:06:52,952 --> 01:06:53,852 - [Coach Dombrowski] Take it, take it. 1471 01:06:53,852 --> 01:06:55,066 Take that. Take it. 1472 01:06:55,066 --> 01:06:56,066 Take it. Come on. 1473 01:06:56,066 --> 01:07:00,092 ♪ It's just a faded memory from your youth ♪ 1474 01:07:00,092 --> 01:07:02,463 (people shouting) 1475 01:07:02,463 --> 01:07:07,006 ♪ You cough and wheeze, fall to your knees ♪ 1476 01:07:07,006 --> 01:07:08,006 - Play ball. 1477 01:07:09,497 --> 01:07:14,497 ♪ But miracles are rare, and that's the truth ♪ 1478 01:07:15,964 --> 01:07:18,890 ♪ Now you've fallen to the curse ♪ 1479 01:07:18,890 --> 01:07:23,091 ♪ It's so sad, you're getting worse ♪ 1480 01:07:23,091 --> 01:07:28,091 ♪ Father Time made you just the way you are ♪ 1481 01:07:29,367 --> 01:07:32,097 ♪ Well, it's time for you to quit ♪ 1482 01:07:32,097 --> 01:07:35,913 ♪ You've got to give it up, you've got to admit ♪ 1483 01:07:35,913 --> 01:07:40,543 ♪ You're just a washed-up, broke-down subpar superstar ♪ 1484 01:07:40,543 --> 01:07:42,382 ♪ You know you are ♪ 1485 01:07:42,382 --> 01:07:43,332 - Hey, come on! 1486 01:07:43,332 --> 01:07:44,165 Run! 1487 01:07:47,079 --> 01:07:47,912 Run! 1488 01:07:49,370 --> 01:07:53,016 ♪ Here's the truth, you're a super flop ♪ 1489 01:07:53,016 --> 01:07:54,557 - [Umpire] You're out! 1490 01:07:54,557 --> 01:07:57,136 You're out! (crowd groaning) 1491 01:07:57,136 --> 01:07:57,969 (ball taps) 1492 01:07:57,969 --> 01:07:59,406 (crowd jeering) You're out too! 1493 01:07:59,406 --> 01:08:00,958 (Coach Dombrowski groans) 1494 01:08:00,958 --> 01:08:02,293 - God! No! 1495 01:08:02,293 --> 01:08:03,813 Man! 1496 01:08:03,813 --> 01:08:06,573 (Coach Dombrowski groans) 1497 01:08:06,573 --> 01:08:09,240 (singer laughs) 1498 01:08:11,322 --> 01:08:12,832 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1499 01:08:12,832 --> 01:08:15,312 That was the worst exhibition 1500 01:08:15,312 --> 01:08:17,805 of sissyball I have ever witnessed. 1501 01:08:17,805 --> 01:08:20,623 Cowall, what kind of a tag is that? 1502 01:08:20,623 --> 01:08:22,104 Arnelli? 1503 01:08:22,104 --> 01:08:24,423 My mother can field better than you. 1504 01:08:24,423 --> 01:08:26,632 And Hankins, Hankins, 1505 01:08:26,632 --> 01:08:29,783 there are no words to describe your performance. 1506 01:08:29,783 --> 01:08:34,421 I came to school, and they told me to expect something big. 1507 01:08:34,421 --> 01:08:37,141 But I didn't expect it to be your stomach. 1508 01:08:37,141 --> 01:08:39,410 Good lord, man, you throw like a girl. 1509 01:08:39,410 --> 01:08:41,191 Have you looked in the mirror lately? 1510 01:08:41,191 --> 01:08:44,774 You're starting to grow female accessories. 1511 01:08:45,639 --> 01:08:46,722 You, up, now! 1512 01:08:55,535 --> 01:08:57,719 Are you wearing these now? 1513 01:08:57,719 --> 01:08:58,607 Where did you get it? 1514 01:08:58,607 --> 01:09:00,047 - No, sir, I'm not. 1515 01:09:00,047 --> 01:09:02,106 - Well, I'm a good coach. 1516 01:09:02,106 --> 01:09:03,533 I'm gonna give them back to you. 1517 01:09:03,533 --> 01:09:06,033 Have a seat. - Sure, thank you. 1518 01:09:07,507 --> 01:09:08,577 - Well, you're gonna pay. 1519 01:09:08,577 --> 01:09:10,105 Every one of you is gonna pay. 1520 01:09:10,105 --> 01:09:12,126 There is no Mr. Nice Guy. 1521 01:09:12,126 --> 01:09:14,181 This honeymoon is over! 1522 01:09:14,181 --> 01:09:15,587 - I want a divorce. 1523 01:09:15,587 --> 01:09:18,827 - Where is your Bloodhound pride?! 1524 01:09:18,827 --> 01:09:21,347 I want everybody to hit the showers 1525 01:09:21,347 --> 01:09:24,577 and wash that miserable performance off your bodies. 1526 01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:27,544 Hankins, I want you to get down here and give me 20 pushups. 1527 01:09:27,544 --> 01:09:29,105 That'll keep you busy for two hours. 1528 01:09:29,105 --> 01:09:29,994 Right here. Go! 1529 01:09:29,994 --> 01:09:31,322 Right here. Right here. 1530 01:09:31,322 --> 01:09:32,348 There you go, buddy. 1531 01:09:32,348 --> 01:09:33,231 Okay, go! 1532 01:09:33,231 --> 01:09:34,340 Right now. Up, up, up, up! 1533 01:09:34,340 --> 01:09:35,607 Go! Shower time. 1534 01:09:35,607 --> 01:09:36,629 Go! (Coach Dombrowski whistles) 1535 01:09:36,629 --> 01:09:37,462 Go! 1536 01:09:37,462 --> 01:09:38,295 Run! 1537 01:09:39,485 --> 01:09:41,152 Oh, I love baseball. 1538 01:09:42,285 --> 01:09:44,868 (gentle music) 1539 01:09:51,263 --> 01:09:52,252 (Milton sighs) 1540 01:09:52,252 --> 01:09:53,223 (tongue clicking) 1541 01:09:53,223 --> 01:09:55,580 - How the mighty have fallen. 1542 01:09:55,580 --> 01:09:57,260 - Go away, Milton. 1543 01:09:57,260 --> 01:09:58,688 - Or what? 1544 01:09:58,688 --> 01:10:00,978 You're gonna jump up and run me down? 1545 01:10:00,978 --> 01:10:02,395 Hmm? I think not! 1546 01:10:03,676 --> 01:10:07,948 I've watched you run and jump today, and, oh, it's pitiful. 1547 01:10:07,948 --> 01:10:09,198 Simply pitiful! 1548 01:10:10,998 --> 01:10:13,684 What's going on with you anyway? 1549 01:10:13,684 --> 01:10:16,124 Come on, you can tell me. 1550 01:10:16,124 --> 01:10:18,852 We've been buds since kindergarten. 1551 01:10:18,852 --> 01:10:19,951 - "Buds"? 1552 01:10:19,951 --> 01:10:20,951 I think not. 1553 01:10:22,820 --> 01:10:24,221 - All right. 1554 01:10:24,221 --> 01:10:25,221 Be that way. 1555 01:10:26,122 --> 01:10:31,122 But (sniffs) the nose knows something is going on, 1556 01:10:31,681 --> 01:10:34,598 and I will be your worst nightmare. 1557 01:10:36,496 --> 01:10:38,996 (Kelly sighs) 1558 01:10:41,727 --> 01:10:43,167 - 196? 1559 01:10:43,167 --> 01:10:45,506 I don't believe this. 1560 01:10:45,506 --> 01:10:47,444 - Stretchmarks. 1561 01:10:47,444 --> 01:10:48,458 Stretchmarks! 1562 01:10:48,458 --> 01:10:49,482 - Jimmy, quiet! 1563 01:10:49,482 --> 01:10:51,209 - You're going to have a baby! 1564 01:10:51,209 --> 01:10:52,837 - Jimmy, no. (bodies tumbling) 1565 01:10:52,837 --> 01:10:54,365 - Get off my face! 1566 01:10:54,365 --> 01:10:55,925 You're killing me! 1567 01:10:55,925 --> 01:10:57,258 I can't breathe! 1568 01:10:58,234 --> 01:10:59,351 - [Kelly] Then keep quiet. 1569 01:10:59,351 --> 01:11:00,434 - Okay, okay! 1570 01:11:03,173 --> 01:11:04,659 I saw it in your book. 1571 01:11:04,659 --> 01:11:06,403 You're going to have a baby. 1572 01:11:06,403 --> 01:11:08,221 - It's not what you think. 1573 01:11:08,221 --> 01:11:09,300 I ate a bowling ball. 1574 01:11:09,300 --> 01:11:11,222 - What?! - No, no. 1575 01:11:11,222 --> 01:11:12,233 It was a science project, 1576 01:11:12,233 --> 01:11:13,774 and they pumped my stomach full of air. 1577 01:11:13,774 --> 01:11:16,287 You know, like a balloon, see? 1578 01:11:16,287 --> 01:11:19,651 It's just that Mom and Dad can't know, all right? 1579 01:11:19,651 --> 01:11:21,271 It's secret, you understand? 1580 01:11:21,271 --> 01:11:24,081 - All I understand is cash. 1581 01:11:24,081 --> 01:11:26,940 And boy, this is gonna take plenty of it. 1582 01:11:26,940 --> 01:11:28,227 - I'm broke. What do you want from me? 1583 01:11:28,227 --> 01:11:29,445 I mean, give me a break. 1584 01:11:29,445 --> 01:11:30,845 I'll do anything. Anything you want. 1585 01:11:30,845 --> 01:11:32,184 - I want collateral. 1586 01:11:32,184 --> 01:11:33,176 - Take my goldfish. 1587 01:11:33,176 --> 01:11:35,184 - I don't want your goldfish. 1588 01:11:35,184 --> 01:11:36,773 - [Kelly] Then what? 1589 01:11:36,773 --> 01:11:38,273 - I want your car. 1590 01:11:40,393 --> 01:11:42,195 - What? - You heard me. 1591 01:11:42,195 --> 01:11:43,513 I want your car. 1592 01:11:43,513 --> 01:11:46,085 It's the only thing you own that's worth a nickel to me. 1593 01:11:46,085 --> 01:11:49,312 I want to hold onto it until you pay off your debt. 1594 01:11:49,312 --> 01:11:50,312 - But that's blackmail. 1595 01:11:50,312 --> 01:11:52,923 I mean, you can't make me pay ransom on my own car. 1596 01:11:52,923 --> 01:11:53,756 I'll wring your neck, you little- 1597 01:11:53,756 --> 01:11:55,799 - Mom, Dad! - Shh, shh, shh. 1598 01:11:55,799 --> 01:11:58,271 - I can, and I will. 1599 01:11:58,271 --> 01:12:00,687 (Kelly sighs) Keys, please. 1600 01:12:00,687 --> 01:12:02,079 (keys jingling) 1601 01:12:02,079 --> 01:12:04,690 - How am I supposed to get around, maintain my image? 1602 01:12:04,690 --> 01:12:06,980 I mean, come on, where's your brotherly love? 1603 01:12:06,980 --> 01:12:09,511 - Yeah, a guy's lost without wheels. 1604 01:12:09,511 --> 01:12:12,901 Don't worry, bro, I won't leave you hanging. 1605 01:12:12,901 --> 01:12:16,101 (keys jingling) 1606 01:12:16,101 --> 01:12:19,101 (upbeat rock music) 1607 01:12:27,600 --> 01:12:30,683 (drumsticks tapping) 1608 01:12:32,097 --> 01:12:34,134 - [Kelly] I got it. I got it. 1609 01:12:34,134 --> 01:12:36,480 - [Boy In Gray] Listen, dude, this ain't working. 1610 01:12:36,480 --> 01:12:38,788 - Do you want me to cut the spin out? 1611 01:12:38,788 --> 01:12:43,009 - It's not the spin that needs to be cut, it's the spinner. 1612 01:12:43,009 --> 01:12:44,629 - What are you saying, are you gonna cut me out 1613 01:12:44,629 --> 01:12:45,732 of the band I started? 1614 01:12:45,732 --> 01:12:47,309 - Well, like, it's just this year, 1615 01:12:47,309 --> 01:12:49,316 we have a good shot at playing the prom, 1616 01:12:49,316 --> 01:12:52,417 but the kids have got to vote us in and, well... 1617 01:12:52,417 --> 01:12:55,235 - Yeah, right now, I'm the one holding you back. 1618 01:12:55,235 --> 01:12:56,745 - Maybe if we practice more. 1619 01:12:56,745 --> 01:12:57,852 - No, no. 1620 01:12:57,852 --> 01:13:01,852 It's just not something you can practice out of. 1621 01:13:06,020 --> 01:13:06,853 - [Boy In Gray] All right, let's go. 1622 01:13:06,853 --> 01:13:09,504 (drumsticks tapping) 1623 01:13:09,504 --> 01:13:11,144 - What is this stuff? 1624 01:13:11,144 --> 01:13:14,660 Pretty sure it's just growing new stretchmarks. 1625 01:13:14,660 --> 01:13:16,429 ♪ I'm here ♪ 1626 01:13:16,429 --> 01:13:18,764 ♪ Going down in flames ♪ 1627 01:13:18,764 --> 01:13:20,928 ♪ Tail spinning, she's to blame ♪ 1628 01:13:20,928 --> 01:13:22,636 ♪ I'm here ♪ 1629 01:13:22,636 --> 01:13:24,617 ♪ I'm outta control ♪ 1630 01:13:24,617 --> 01:13:27,485 ♪ Falling in love, falling hard, you know ♪ 1631 01:13:27,485 --> 01:13:28,646 (Kelly sighs) 1632 01:13:28,646 --> 01:13:29,534 Hello? 1633 01:13:29,534 --> 01:13:30,696 - Hey, stranger. 1634 01:13:30,696 --> 01:13:31,608 - Lisa. 1635 01:13:31,608 --> 01:13:34,565 Oh, god, Lisa, it's so good to hear your voice. 1636 01:13:34,565 --> 01:13:37,397 - Yeah, I've missed yours too. 1637 01:13:37,397 --> 01:13:39,296 Can we meet some time to talk? 1638 01:13:39,296 --> 01:13:41,522 - Absolutely. Anytime, anywhere, right now. 1639 01:13:41,522 --> 01:13:42,355 - Okay. 1640 01:13:42,355 --> 01:13:44,272 Bell tower, 15 minutes? 1641 01:13:45,171 --> 01:13:46,110 - I'm on my way. 1642 01:13:46,110 --> 01:13:47,943 And, Lisa, I love you. 1643 01:13:51,069 --> 01:13:56,069 ♪ I'll say I'm sorry for the third time ♪ 1644 01:13:56,800 --> 01:13:58,378 ♪ I mean it now ♪ 1645 01:13:58,378 --> 01:14:01,857 ♪ I swear, I'll change my ways ♪ 1646 01:14:01,857 --> 01:14:04,727 (thunder crackles) 1647 01:14:04,727 --> 01:14:08,280 ♪ And I feel so small ♪ 1648 01:14:08,280 --> 01:14:11,572 ♪ From the weight of it all ♪ 1649 01:14:11,572 --> 01:14:13,140 ♪ Without you, girl ♪ 1650 01:14:13,140 --> 01:14:17,265 ♪ I reach for you more than ever ♪ 1651 01:14:17,265 --> 01:14:20,306 (doors rattling) 1652 01:14:20,306 --> 01:14:21,572 (thunder crackles) Lisa! 1653 01:14:21,572 --> 01:14:22,835 ♪ Never alone ♪ 1654 01:14:22,835 --> 01:14:27,285 ♪ Even if I'm miles away, so far from home ♪ 1655 01:14:27,285 --> 01:14:28,461 (thunder crackles) 1656 01:14:28,461 --> 01:14:32,499 Lisa! (thunder crackles) 1657 01:14:32,499 --> 01:14:34,173 (Kelly grunts) (window shatters) 1658 01:14:34,173 --> 01:14:36,210 ♪ 'Cause I'm so sad, you see ♪ 1659 01:14:36,210 --> 01:14:38,156 ♪ I miss everything about you, girl ♪ 1660 01:14:38,156 --> 01:14:38,989 (Kelly grunts) 1661 01:14:38,989 --> 01:14:40,010 (bell clangs) 1662 01:14:40,010 --> 01:14:44,458 ♪ One day, I'll be back before you know it now ♪ 1663 01:14:44,458 --> 01:14:47,530 ♪ My love ♪ 1664 01:14:47,530 --> 01:14:50,906 ♪ You'll never be alone ♪ 1665 01:14:50,906 --> 01:14:52,997 (lock clacks) 1666 01:14:52,997 --> 01:14:55,688 (rain pattering) 1667 01:14:55,688 --> 01:14:57,355 - Oh, you're soaked. 1668 01:14:58,778 --> 01:15:00,861 Take off this sweatshirt. 1669 01:15:06,125 --> 01:15:06,958 Here. 1670 01:15:07,926 --> 01:15:09,523 Put this on. It'll keep you warm. 1671 01:15:09,523 --> 01:15:10,692 - But won't your father- 1672 01:15:10,692 --> 01:15:12,672 - He'll never know. 1673 01:15:12,672 --> 01:15:15,755 Besides, I have a confession to make. 1674 01:15:17,551 --> 01:15:20,939 - Well, this is the right place. 1675 01:15:20,939 --> 01:15:24,100 Tell me, child, what is your sin? 1676 01:15:24,100 --> 01:15:25,670 - Hmm. 1677 01:15:25,670 --> 01:15:27,920 I have made a boy pregnant. 1678 01:15:29,550 --> 01:15:31,807 - Do you plan to do the right thing? 1679 01:15:31,807 --> 01:15:32,807 - Yes, I do. 1680 01:15:34,240 --> 01:15:35,870 I want my baby back. 1681 01:15:35,870 --> 01:15:36,989 - What? 1682 01:15:36,989 --> 01:15:39,499 - I want my baby back. 1683 01:15:39,499 --> 01:15:41,578 This isn't working, Kelly. 1684 01:15:41,578 --> 01:15:44,828 It was a crazy idea to even begin with. 1685 01:15:46,169 --> 01:15:48,158 - Speaking of crazy ideas, Lisa, 1686 01:15:48,158 --> 01:15:49,398 I'm eight and a half months pregnant. 1687 01:15:49,398 --> 01:15:51,176 You don't just switch a baby back and forth. 1688 01:15:51,176 --> 01:15:52,498 - Well, you switched it with me! 1689 01:15:52,498 --> 01:15:54,678 - Yeah, that was different, it was just a little speck then, 1690 01:15:54,678 --> 01:15:56,089 and now it's a monster. 1691 01:15:56,089 --> 01:15:58,677 - Don't you call my baby a monster. 1692 01:15:58,677 --> 01:16:00,628 If anybody here is a monster, it's you, 1693 01:16:00,628 --> 01:16:02,961 you crazy sci-fi experiment. 1694 01:16:04,528 --> 01:16:06,785 You're breaking all the laws of nature, 1695 01:16:06,785 --> 01:16:09,113 and I want my baby back. 1696 01:16:09,113 --> 01:16:10,425 - Yeah? 1697 01:16:10,425 --> 01:16:11,485 Well, you can't have him. 1698 01:16:11,485 --> 01:16:12,496 I know my rights. 1699 01:16:12,496 --> 01:16:15,492 Possession's 9/10 of the law, and I'm possessed, baby! 1700 01:16:15,492 --> 01:16:17,909 - You need professional help. 1701 01:16:22,812 --> 01:16:25,084 - You're violating my inalienable rights. 1702 01:16:25,084 --> 01:16:27,420 Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of childbearing. 1703 01:16:27,420 --> 01:16:28,877 I'll take you to the Supreme Court. 1704 01:16:28,877 --> 01:16:32,341 I'll sue for maternity, paternity, custody, and lustody. 1705 01:16:32,341 --> 01:16:34,407 - You've lost it, big time! 1706 01:16:34,407 --> 01:16:35,861 - Every night, I lay in bed, 1707 01:16:35,861 --> 01:16:37,730 and my legs cramp like burnt pretzels, 1708 01:16:37,730 --> 01:16:39,629 my back feels like a linebacker hit me, 1709 01:16:39,629 --> 01:16:42,471 and my feet hurt so bad, I'd rather walk over hot coals. 1710 01:16:42,471 --> 01:16:45,017 And what do I get in reward for all my pain and suffering? 1711 01:16:45,017 --> 01:16:47,828 I get to throw up every night into the toilet. 1712 01:16:47,828 --> 01:16:52,766 I've lost my car, my job, my body, my friends, my grades. 1713 01:16:52,766 --> 01:16:55,244 How can anyone in their right mind give up all that again? 1714 01:16:55,244 --> 01:16:56,077 Never, never! 1715 01:16:56,077 --> 01:16:57,974 Give me pregnancy, or give me death! 1716 01:16:57,974 --> 01:17:00,075 - You've cracked! 1717 01:17:00,075 --> 01:17:02,492 (door opens) 1718 01:17:05,996 --> 01:17:06,829 - Lisa. 1719 01:17:10,226 --> 01:17:11,827 (mud spatters) 1720 01:17:11,827 --> 01:17:13,324 (car rumbling) 1721 01:17:13,324 --> 01:17:14,157 Lisa! 1722 01:17:15,263 --> 01:17:17,134 (thunder crackles) 1723 01:17:17,134 --> 01:17:18,632 Lisa! 1724 01:17:18,632 --> 01:17:19,465 Lisa! 1725 01:17:20,775 --> 01:17:25,775 ♪ Lost is where I'll be on this midnight drive ♪ 1726 01:17:26,223 --> 01:17:30,390 ♪ Without knowing where I'm going ♪ 1727 01:17:32,353 --> 01:17:33,421 (hand knocking) 1728 01:17:33,421 --> 01:17:34,282 What? 1729 01:17:34,282 --> 01:17:35,871 - It's Dad. Breakfast is ready. 1730 01:17:35,871 --> 01:17:37,288 - I'm not hungry. 1731 01:17:38,671 --> 01:17:40,061 - Am I hearing correctly? 1732 01:17:40,061 --> 01:17:42,026 Did you say you weren't hungry? 1733 01:17:42,026 --> 01:17:45,776 - Yeah. I'm just trying to lose a few pounds. 1734 01:17:47,746 --> 01:17:49,314 - What's that you're working on? 1735 01:17:49,314 --> 01:17:50,295 - Just a song. 1736 01:17:50,295 --> 01:17:53,207 - For whom? The band that you no longer belong to? 1737 01:17:53,207 --> 01:17:55,040 - For anyone, I guess. 1738 01:17:56,209 --> 01:17:58,552 I seem to write some of my best stuff when I'm feeling down. 1739 01:17:58,552 --> 01:18:02,123 - Kelly, son, if you need to talk about something, 1740 01:18:02,123 --> 01:18:05,083 you know the old man is a pretty good listener. 1741 01:18:05,083 --> 01:18:06,112 - Yeah. 1742 01:18:06,112 --> 01:18:08,279 Thanks, Dad, but I just... 1743 01:18:09,563 --> 01:18:10,933 I can't. 1744 01:18:10,933 --> 01:18:12,311 - All right. 1745 01:18:12,311 --> 01:18:15,472 But when you're ready, I'll be here, son. 1746 01:18:15,472 --> 01:18:17,173 - Thanks, Dad. 1747 01:18:17,173 --> 01:18:18,232 - [Jeff] I love you. 1748 01:18:18,232 --> 01:18:19,373 - I love you too. 1749 01:18:19,373 --> 01:18:23,540 - You change your mind, food's out in the kitchen. 1750 01:18:25,325 --> 01:18:28,325 (gentle jazz music) 1751 01:18:29,381 --> 01:18:32,603 - I can't wait until tomorrow. 1752 01:18:32,603 --> 01:18:33,436 - Why tomorrow? 1753 01:18:33,436 --> 01:18:35,593 - Because I get better looking every day. 1754 01:18:35,593 --> 01:18:39,041 I mean, is this the ultimate or what? 1755 01:18:39,041 --> 01:18:40,121 - You're looking good. 1756 01:18:40,121 --> 01:18:41,531 - "Good"? 1757 01:18:41,531 --> 01:18:42,529 I rock! 1758 01:18:42,529 --> 01:18:44,810 What girl could resist this eye candy? 1759 01:18:44,810 --> 01:18:48,454 - [Salesman] Does this meet with your approval, sir? 1760 01:18:48,454 --> 01:18:49,362 - Nah. 1761 01:18:49,362 --> 01:18:51,444 It's not quite me. 1762 01:18:51,444 --> 01:18:53,277 I need something more. 1763 01:18:54,444 --> 01:18:55,277 - Hm. 1764 01:18:56,767 --> 01:18:57,716 - What about my friend here? 1765 01:18:57,716 --> 01:18:59,003 What could you fix him up with? 1766 01:18:59,003 --> 01:19:00,133 (salesman chuckles) 1767 01:19:00,133 --> 01:19:01,274 - A circus? 1768 01:19:01,274 --> 01:19:03,405 (salesman laughs) 1769 01:19:03,405 --> 01:19:05,085 - I mean something to wear. 1770 01:19:05,085 --> 01:19:07,898 Something stylish, but also down to earth. 1771 01:19:07,898 --> 01:19:08,959 - A tent maybe. 1772 01:19:08,959 --> 01:19:11,792 (salesman laughs) 1773 01:19:13,818 --> 01:19:16,558 - Come on, Kelly, this isn't the only tux shop in town. 1774 01:19:16,558 --> 01:19:18,258 (salesman laughs) 1775 01:19:18,258 --> 01:19:21,258 (upbeat rock music) 1776 01:19:24,153 --> 01:19:25,538 Let's try in here. 1777 01:19:25,538 --> 01:19:26,807 - Are you crazy? 1778 01:19:26,807 --> 01:19:28,627 That's for pregnant women. 1779 01:19:28,627 --> 01:19:30,329 - Hey, you're halfway home. 1780 01:19:30,329 --> 01:19:31,162 Come on. 1781 01:19:33,509 --> 01:19:36,092 (bell jingles) 1782 01:19:36,929 --> 01:19:38,507 Dude. 1783 01:19:38,507 --> 01:19:39,859 Dude. 1784 01:19:39,859 --> 01:19:41,638 50% off. 1785 01:19:41,638 --> 01:19:45,315 (gentle guitar music) 1786 01:19:45,315 --> 01:19:46,608 - What are you- - Take a little look-see. 1787 01:19:46,608 --> 01:19:48,333 Here, just relax. You know? 1788 01:19:48,333 --> 01:19:51,654 (Ditto grunts) 1789 01:19:51,654 --> 01:19:53,145 How do they feel? - Get your minds 1790 01:19:53,145 --> 01:19:57,895 out of the gutter and your filthy paws off the delicates. 1791 01:19:59,297 --> 01:20:00,380 - Sorry, sir. 1792 01:20:03,639 --> 01:20:05,414 We were just looking for Mom. 1793 01:20:05,414 --> 01:20:06,392 - I'm Mom. 1794 01:20:06,392 --> 01:20:08,387 - Of course you are. 1795 01:20:08,387 --> 01:20:12,027 And how long until you're expecting? 1796 01:20:12,027 --> 01:20:13,444 - Expecting what? 1797 01:20:14,728 --> 01:20:17,811 - Expecting the next shipment of bras 1798 01:20:18,808 --> 01:20:20,592 and panties to come in. 1799 01:20:20,592 --> 01:20:22,232 (Mom sighs) 1800 01:20:22,232 --> 01:20:24,206 - Tell me you're not here for the panties. 1801 01:20:24,206 --> 01:20:25,817 - Actually, we're just looking 1802 01:20:25,817 --> 01:20:29,180 for some formal wear suitable for a dance. 1803 01:20:29,180 --> 01:20:30,802 - Preferably with some pants. 1804 01:20:30,802 --> 01:20:32,801 - Oh, couldn't imagine it without. 1805 01:20:32,801 --> 01:20:36,252 - See? I told you we came to the right place. 1806 01:20:36,252 --> 01:20:39,070 - Would this be for your mother? 1807 01:20:39,070 --> 01:20:39,903 Sister? 1808 01:20:40,902 --> 01:20:42,969 - Mother. - Sister. 1809 01:20:42,969 --> 01:20:44,329 - I see. 1810 01:20:44,329 --> 01:20:46,053 How far along is she? 1811 01:20:46,053 --> 01:20:48,408 - She's pretty far. 1812 01:20:48,408 --> 01:20:49,825 - How big is she? 1813 01:20:50,797 --> 01:20:51,946 - Pretty big. 1814 01:20:51,946 --> 01:20:53,456 - Look, I would have to have 1815 01:20:53,456 --> 01:20:55,203 more precise measurements, okay? 1816 01:20:55,203 --> 01:20:57,120 - Then take fatso here. 1817 01:20:58,269 --> 01:21:02,390 He's pretty close to what my mom, his sister, looks like. 1818 01:21:02,390 --> 01:21:04,030 (Mom chuckles) 1819 01:21:04,030 --> 01:21:07,600 - I can't resist seeing where this goes. 1820 01:21:07,600 --> 01:21:08,433 Move. 1821 01:21:09,280 --> 01:21:10,697 Come here, fatso. 1822 01:21:12,662 --> 01:21:13,495 Okay. 1823 01:21:14,344 --> 01:21:15,261 Here we go. 1824 01:21:19,792 --> 01:21:20,625 Wow. 1825 01:21:21,624 --> 01:21:23,957 (Mom sighs) 1826 01:21:25,451 --> 01:21:28,179 Let me see what I have in the back. 1827 01:21:28,179 --> 01:21:29,012 Wow. 1828 01:21:31,251 --> 01:21:32,889 - My mother, your sister? 1829 01:21:32,889 --> 01:21:34,209 I mean, seriously? 1830 01:21:34,209 --> 01:21:35,532 Dude, let's just get outta here. 1831 01:21:35,532 --> 01:21:36,838 - Just chill, man. 1832 01:21:36,838 --> 01:21:38,706 We're making definite progress. 1833 01:21:38,706 --> 01:21:40,285 - Yeah. 1834 01:21:40,285 --> 01:21:42,618 (Mom sighs) 1835 01:21:45,314 --> 01:21:47,234 - You're in luck. 1836 01:21:47,234 --> 01:21:49,477 My debutante dress. 1837 01:21:49,477 --> 01:21:50,546 - Yes! 1838 01:21:50,546 --> 01:21:53,218 - No. - Yes, it's stunning. 1839 01:21:53,218 --> 01:21:55,160 - It's not really what I had in mind. 1840 01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:57,960 - Well, let us not be hasty in our decision. 1841 01:21:57,960 --> 01:22:01,961 I think this outfit has a lot of interesting possibilities. 1842 01:22:01,961 --> 01:22:05,102 I mean, to be fairly judged, 1843 01:22:05,102 --> 01:22:06,812 I think you've got to try it on. 1844 01:22:06,812 --> 01:22:08,233 - What? 1845 01:22:08,233 --> 01:22:10,324 - [Mom] Go for it. 1846 01:22:10,324 --> 01:22:14,842 - Certainly, to be sure of the fit and match and so on. 1847 01:22:14,842 --> 01:22:17,473 - The dressing rooms are to your right. 1848 01:22:17,473 --> 01:22:20,442 Oh, I'm getting my camera. 1849 01:22:20,442 --> 01:22:23,068 - No. - Let's just see how it looks. 1850 01:22:23,068 --> 01:22:24,901 No one will ever know. 1851 01:22:33,911 --> 01:22:34,744 Oh. 1852 01:22:37,600 --> 01:22:38,690 Ravishing. 1853 01:22:38,690 --> 01:22:39,850 Simply ravishing. 1854 01:22:39,850 --> 01:22:42,165 Why, if I didn't already have a date, I would- 1855 01:22:42,165 --> 01:22:43,251 - Stop it, Ditto. 1856 01:22:43,251 --> 01:22:47,291 I mean, (sighs) got to say, it is stunning, 1857 01:22:47,291 --> 01:22:49,908 but I'm not gonna do it. 1858 01:22:49,908 --> 01:22:51,073 (Ditto sighs) 1859 01:22:51,073 --> 01:22:53,990 What? I'm not wearing this to prom! 1860 01:22:56,951 --> 01:22:59,473 - Vandalous juvenile delinquents. 1861 01:22:59,473 --> 01:23:03,113 If I ever find out who's responsible for this, 1862 01:23:03,113 --> 01:23:05,865 oh, Lord, bring forth your righteous indignation 1863 01:23:05,865 --> 01:23:08,844 and turn him into a pillar of salt. 1864 01:23:08,844 --> 01:23:10,073 (Reverend Weld grunts) 1865 01:23:10,073 --> 01:23:12,041 (Reverend Weld sighs) 1866 01:23:12,041 --> 01:23:13,540 - [Lisa] Daddy? 1867 01:23:13,540 --> 01:23:16,903 - Lisa, sweetheart, what are you doing here? 1868 01:23:16,903 --> 01:23:19,581 - Nothing, I just sort of had this question 1869 01:23:19,581 --> 01:23:21,490 that's been bothering me for a while. 1870 01:23:21,490 --> 01:23:22,381 - Well, of course, of course. 1871 01:23:22,381 --> 01:23:27,218 You know you can always come to me for the answers. 1872 01:23:27,218 --> 01:23:28,949 So, speak up. 1873 01:23:28,949 --> 01:23:29,866 What is it? 1874 01:23:30,947 --> 01:23:32,237 Speak. 1875 01:23:32,237 --> 01:23:33,070 - Okay. - Just speak. 1876 01:23:33,070 --> 01:23:34,040 - Okay. 1877 01:23:34,040 --> 01:23:34,957 - Speak up. 1878 01:23:36,007 --> 01:23:38,924 - Well, what if there's this person 1879 01:23:39,776 --> 01:23:43,007 who's doing a huge favor for someone, 1880 01:23:43,007 --> 01:23:46,687 even though it's causing him a lot of suffering to do it, 1881 01:23:46,687 --> 01:23:49,549 should the person receiving the favor 1882 01:23:49,549 --> 01:23:52,120 come forward and confess, 1883 01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:54,368 even though she may be horribly murdered? 1884 01:23:54,368 --> 01:23:56,808 (Reverend Weld laughs) 1885 01:23:56,808 --> 01:23:57,989 (Reverend Weld sighs) 1886 01:23:57,989 --> 01:24:01,120 - You know, I see right through this charade, little lady. 1887 01:24:01,120 --> 01:24:02,142 - You do? - Oh, yes. 1888 01:24:02,142 --> 01:24:04,784 I can just imagine the fine mess 1889 01:24:04,784 --> 01:24:06,966 you've gotten yourself into. 1890 01:24:06,966 --> 01:24:07,799 - You can? 1891 01:24:08,734 --> 01:24:12,151 - Lisa, kids have the same problems today 1892 01:24:13,212 --> 01:24:14,999 as they did when I was growing up. 1893 01:24:14,999 --> 01:24:17,811 I know you think you're the only person in the world 1894 01:24:17,811 --> 01:24:22,491 this has happened to, but, I assure you, you're not. 1895 01:24:22,491 --> 01:24:27,491 Lisa, the same thing happened to me when I was a teenager. 1896 01:24:27,500 --> 01:24:28,361 - It did? 1897 01:24:28,361 --> 01:24:29,377 - Mm-hm. Yeah. 1898 01:24:29,377 --> 01:24:30,210 Oh. 1899 01:24:30,210 --> 01:24:34,328 I still remember doing all of those extra homework papers 1900 01:24:34,328 --> 01:24:36,757 for my friends so they too would get good grades. 1901 01:24:36,757 --> 01:24:38,008 - What? 1902 01:24:38,008 --> 01:24:38,907 - That's it, right? 1903 01:24:38,907 --> 01:24:40,408 - What? - The homework? 1904 01:24:40,408 --> 01:24:42,741 - I- - Lisa, you are so kind. 1905 01:24:44,545 --> 01:24:46,559 You are so giving. 1906 01:24:46,559 --> 01:24:48,242 Don't let people take advantage of you. 1907 01:24:48,242 --> 01:24:49,659 My advice to you, 1908 01:24:50,642 --> 01:24:54,225 tell your friends to do their own homework. 1909 01:24:55,562 --> 01:24:57,395 - Sure, Daddy. I will. 1910 01:24:58,269 --> 01:25:02,102 - Just know I always have the answers for you. 1911 01:25:04,730 --> 01:25:06,519 Take care, sweetie. 1912 01:25:06,519 --> 01:25:08,799 Let them do their homework. 1913 01:25:08,799 --> 01:25:10,049 Oh, kids today, 1914 01:25:12,839 --> 01:25:14,922 one crisis after another. 1915 01:25:20,781 --> 01:25:22,030 - What the?! 1916 01:25:22,030 --> 01:25:23,613 Get! Get, get, get! 1917 01:25:24,643 --> 01:25:26,462 (Principal Miller groans) 1918 01:25:26,462 --> 01:25:28,750 (Principal Miller sighs) 1919 01:25:28,750 --> 01:25:30,659 Milton, this better be good. 1920 01:25:30,659 --> 01:25:31,492 - Oh. 1921 01:25:33,071 --> 01:25:34,629 (Principal Miller sighs) 1922 01:25:34,629 --> 01:25:37,546 (suspicious music) 1923 01:25:41,141 --> 01:25:42,308 - Interesting. 1924 01:25:44,150 --> 01:25:46,233 Very interesting, Milton. 1925 01:25:49,288 --> 01:25:50,339 You may stand at ease. 1926 01:25:50,339 --> 01:25:51,291 - Thank you, sir. 1927 01:25:51,291 --> 01:25:52,720 I can tell there is something 1928 01:25:52,720 --> 01:25:56,210 quite extraordinary about Kelly Hankins. 1929 01:25:56,210 --> 01:25:58,321 I've compiled several pages of behavior 1930 01:25:58,321 --> 01:26:00,904 which are extremely suspicious. 1931 01:26:01,750 --> 01:26:05,201 Oh, I believe that some snitch-worthy material 1932 01:26:05,201 --> 01:26:07,289 will pop out on him very soon. 1933 01:26:07,289 --> 01:26:09,372 - Excellent work, Milton. 1934 01:26:10,217 --> 01:26:12,217 See to it that you're there to uncover the story. 1935 01:26:12,217 --> 01:26:16,300 I will have no scandal in my school go unexposed. 1936 01:26:17,998 --> 01:26:20,147 - What are you going to the prom for anyway? 1937 01:26:20,147 --> 01:26:23,457 You're too fat to dance, and you haven't even got a date! 1938 01:26:23,457 --> 01:26:24,558 - I'm going for the principle. 1939 01:26:24,558 --> 01:26:26,939 - You have a date with Principal Miller?! 1940 01:26:26,939 --> 01:26:29,465 - No, stupid, I'm going because I won't let anyone 1941 01:26:29,465 --> 01:26:31,985 or anything stop me from doing what I want. 1942 01:26:31,985 --> 01:26:33,795 Kelly Hankins runs his own race. 1943 01:26:33,795 --> 01:26:38,065 - Kelly Hankins is too fat to walk, much less run. 1944 01:26:38,065 --> 01:26:41,225 Where'd you get that screwball outfit from anyway? 1945 01:26:41,225 --> 01:26:42,370 - The costume store. 1946 01:26:42,370 --> 01:26:43,759 It was only tux that fit. 1947 01:26:43,759 --> 01:26:45,190 Now, come over and help me with my shoes. 1948 01:26:45,190 --> 01:26:48,857 I want to make sure my outfit doesn't clash. 1949 01:26:49,847 --> 01:26:51,120 - Pfft. 1950 01:26:51,120 --> 01:26:54,120 (upbeat rock music) 1951 01:27:01,175 --> 01:27:06,175 ♪ Beware of the man whose middle name is Danger ♪ 1952 01:27:06,797 --> 01:27:08,115 ♪ Danger ♪ 1953 01:27:08,115 --> 01:27:13,115 ♪ He has no friends, no, he couldn't be stranger ♪ 1954 01:27:13,943 --> 01:27:15,943 ♪ So be warned ♪ 1955 01:27:15,943 --> 01:27:20,943 ♪ You mess with The Shadow, you mess with our town ♪ 1956 01:27:21,922 --> 01:27:22,887 ♪ Bye-bye ♪ 1957 01:27:22,887 --> 01:27:27,887 ♪ You mess with The Shadow, he's gonna take you down ♪ 1958 01:27:28,757 --> 01:27:32,178 ♪ Oh, yeah, you're done ♪ 1959 01:27:32,178 --> 01:27:35,678 ♪ You're going down, yeah ♪ 1960 01:27:39,978 --> 01:27:42,478 (Kelly sighs) 1961 01:27:44,048 --> 01:27:46,631 (gentle music) 1962 01:27:48,166 --> 01:27:53,002 ♪ All out of excuses ♪ 1963 01:27:53,002 --> 01:27:58,002 ♪ 'Cause I've never, no, I've never been so wrong ♪ 1964 01:27:58,789 --> 01:28:02,970 ♪ All those things I should have said ♪ 1965 01:28:02,970 --> 01:28:05,331 ♪ The noise fills my head ♪ 1966 01:28:05,331 --> 01:28:10,331 ♪ And how I miss, miss your sweet song ♪ 1967 01:28:11,363 --> 01:28:12,708 ♪ Tell me ♪ 1968 01:28:12,708 --> 01:28:13,541 (car horn honking) 1969 01:28:13,541 --> 01:28:17,004 ♪ How long, how long ♪ 1970 01:28:17,004 --> 01:28:22,004 ♪ How long will your name leave me in pieces ♪ 1971 01:28:23,986 --> 01:28:28,986 ♪ Tell me how long, how long ♪ 1972 01:28:29,567 --> 01:28:34,567 ♪ How long till your heart forgets mine completely ♪ 1973 01:28:36,695 --> 01:28:38,945 ♪ How long ♪ 1974 01:28:40,317 --> 01:28:42,745 - [Kelly] Hey, Principal Miller, Nurse Zelda. 1975 01:28:42,745 --> 01:28:47,140 - [Principal Miller] Hey. Buenos noches, Senor Hankins. 1976 01:28:47,140 --> 01:28:48,242 - Meow. 1977 01:28:48,242 --> 01:28:49,075 - [Principal Miller] You're looking quite 1978 01:28:49,075 --> 01:28:50,831 festive this evening. 1979 01:28:50,831 --> 01:28:52,333 - Ay caramba. 1980 01:28:52,333 --> 01:28:54,610 - Would you like some punch, Nurse Zelda? 1981 01:28:54,610 --> 01:28:56,943 - That sounds mouthwatering. 1982 01:28:59,921 --> 01:29:03,504 ♪ I'm alone and I'm a fool ♪ 1983 01:29:06,290 --> 01:29:07,790 (Principal Miller sniffs) 1984 01:29:07,790 --> 01:29:12,790 ♪ So sure we were forever ♪ 1985 01:29:13,788 --> 01:29:18,552 ♪ Was I wrong, was I confused ♪ 1986 01:29:18,552 --> 01:29:22,300 ♪ You see, I lost my way ♪ 1987 01:29:22,300 --> 01:29:24,848 ♪ And I lost my faith ♪ 1988 01:29:24,848 --> 01:29:28,348 ♪ Yeah, I lost everything ♪ 1989 01:29:29,298 --> 01:29:30,901 - Exquisite threads, my man. 1990 01:29:30,901 --> 01:29:34,482 I'm totally envious of how well your tie and shoes match. 1991 01:29:34,482 --> 01:29:36,150 - You look pretty good too, Ditto. 1992 01:29:36,150 --> 01:29:38,189 - Just a little spur of the moment thing 1993 01:29:38,189 --> 01:29:40,170 that I threw together. 1994 01:29:40,170 --> 01:29:44,753 Did you recognize the glorious creature that walked by? 1995 01:29:46,509 --> 01:29:47,560 - No. 1996 01:29:47,560 --> 01:29:49,079 What glorious creature? 1997 01:29:49,079 --> 01:29:52,079 - The one with the big, pink orchid. 1998 01:29:54,012 --> 01:29:54,845 Yeah? 1999 01:29:55,852 --> 01:29:58,001 - Guess I didn't notice. 2000 01:29:58,001 --> 01:30:00,911 - Well, every other jockstrap neanderthal in here did. 2001 01:30:00,911 --> 01:30:02,351 It's Lisa. 2002 01:30:02,351 --> 01:30:03,262 You remember? 2003 01:30:03,262 --> 01:30:04,461 Your ex? 2004 01:30:04,461 --> 01:30:05,878 Previous passion? 2005 01:30:07,554 --> 01:30:10,263 - She's looking kinda sickly, don't you think? 2006 01:30:10,263 --> 01:30:12,002 - "Sickly"? 2007 01:30:12,002 --> 01:30:13,196 (hand patting) Sure, Kel. 2008 01:30:13,196 --> 01:30:15,859 She's falling apart without you. 2009 01:30:15,859 --> 01:30:17,319 Hey! Debbie! 2010 01:30:17,319 --> 01:30:18,569 Debbie. Debbie. 2011 01:30:19,579 --> 01:30:21,951 Why don't you take this poor, sad soul 2012 01:30:21,951 --> 01:30:24,754 out onto the dance floor and check for signs of life? 2013 01:30:24,754 --> 01:30:26,391 There you go. Okay. 2014 01:30:26,391 --> 01:30:28,691 Attagirl. Thank you, Debbie. 2015 01:30:28,691 --> 01:30:30,250 Nurse. 2016 01:30:30,250 --> 01:30:35,250 ♪ The Shadow, he never makes a sound ♪ 2017 01:30:35,381 --> 01:30:36,214 ♪ No, no ♪ 2018 01:30:36,214 --> 01:30:41,214 ♪ Never see The Shadow until he takes you down ♪ 2019 01:30:42,140 --> 01:30:45,654 ♪ Oh, yeah, you're done ♪ 2020 01:30:45,654 --> 01:30:48,822 ♪ You're going down, yeah ♪ 2021 01:30:48,822 --> 01:30:52,439 (car rumbling) (tires screeching) 2022 01:30:52,439 --> 01:30:53,719 - You guys sound great. 2023 01:30:53,719 --> 01:30:54,951 - Thanks, Kelly. 2024 01:30:54,951 --> 01:30:56,830 Sorry you couldn't be a part of this. 2025 01:30:56,830 --> 01:30:58,865 - Yeah, I was hoping, for old time's sake, 2026 01:30:58,865 --> 01:31:00,524 that you guys would just, 2027 01:31:00,524 --> 01:31:03,607 I don't know, play this song with me? 2028 01:31:09,102 --> 01:31:10,593 - Sure. - Yeah, okay. 2029 01:31:10,593 --> 01:31:13,760 (gentle guitar music) 2030 01:31:18,500 --> 01:31:23,500 ♪ Do you know how it feels ♪ 2031 01:31:25,392 --> 01:31:30,392 ♪ Do you know what it's like ♪ 2032 01:31:32,303 --> 01:31:37,303 ♪ Nothing goes how it's planned ♪ 2033 01:31:39,223 --> 01:31:44,153 ♪ No one's left on your side ♪ 2034 01:31:44,153 --> 01:31:49,153 ♪ I keep on waiting for you to come back around ♪ 2035 01:31:51,132 --> 01:31:56,132 ♪ I keep on trying to figure out ♪ 2036 01:31:58,012 --> 01:32:00,620 ♪ Where did I go wrong ♪ 2037 01:32:00,620 --> 01:32:04,939 ♪ How did this happen ♪ 2038 01:32:04,939 --> 01:32:07,420 ♪ Where did we go wrong ♪ 2039 01:32:07,420 --> 01:32:12,420 ♪ My whole world is crashing ♪ 2040 01:32:12,761 --> 01:32:16,519 ♪ If you love me like you said you did ♪ 2041 01:32:16,519 --> 01:32:18,799 ♪ Then how'd we get to this ♪ 2042 01:32:18,799 --> 01:32:22,287 ♪ Where did I go wrong ♪ 2043 01:32:22,287 --> 01:32:27,287 ♪ Where did we go wrong ♪ 2044 01:32:27,839 --> 01:32:32,839 ♪ I thought we wanted the same ♪ 2045 01:32:34,946 --> 01:32:39,946 ♪ Maybe you're just too scared ♪ 2046 01:32:41,748 --> 01:32:46,748 ♪ I try and handle the pain ♪ 2047 01:32:48,675 --> 01:32:53,649 ♪ But guess you want it that way ♪ 2048 01:32:53,649 --> 01:32:58,649 ♪ I keep on waiting for you to come back around ♪ 2049 01:33:00,641 --> 01:33:05,641 ♪ I keep on trying to figure out ♪ 2050 01:33:07,569 --> 01:33:10,150 ♪ Where did I go wrong ♪ 2051 01:33:10,150 --> 01:33:14,481 ♪ How did this happen ♪ 2052 01:33:14,481 --> 01:33:16,870 ♪ Where did I go wrong ♪ 2053 01:33:16,870 --> 01:33:21,870 ♪ My whole world is crashing ♪ 2054 01:33:22,332 --> 01:33:26,041 ♪ If you love like you said you did ♪ 2055 01:33:26,041 --> 01:33:28,188 ♪ Then how'd we get to this ♪ 2056 01:33:28,188 --> 01:33:31,742 ♪ So where did I go wrong ♪ 2057 01:33:31,742 --> 01:33:36,662 ♪ Where did we go wrong ♪ 2058 01:33:36,662 --> 01:33:39,753 ♪ I will be here even though you're scared ♪ 2059 01:33:39,753 --> 01:33:43,233 ♪ And treat me this way ♪ 2060 01:33:43,233 --> 01:33:46,300 ♪ 'Cause I said I'll always love you ♪ 2061 01:33:46,300 --> 01:33:51,300 ♪ And that won't ever change ♪ 2062 01:33:51,942 --> 01:33:54,449 ♪ Where did I go wrong ♪ 2063 01:33:54,449 --> 01:33:58,873 ♪ How did this happen ♪ 2064 01:33:58,873 --> 01:34:01,320 ♪ Where did I go wrong ♪ 2065 01:34:01,320 --> 01:34:06,320 ♪ My whole world is crashing ♪ 2066 01:34:06,790 --> 01:34:10,550 ♪ If you love me like you said you did ♪ 2067 01:34:10,550 --> 01:34:12,589 ♪ Then how'd we get to this ♪ 2068 01:34:12,589 --> 01:34:16,260 ♪ So where did I go wrong ♪ 2069 01:34:16,260 --> 01:34:19,593 ♪ Where did we go wrong ♪ 2070 01:34:22,508 --> 01:34:27,381 (students applauding) (students chattering) 2071 01:34:27,381 --> 01:34:28,978 - Attention, attention. 2072 01:34:28,978 --> 01:34:29,811 Students. 2073 01:34:30,789 --> 01:34:31,622 Attention. 2074 01:34:32,973 --> 01:34:34,067 Move. 2075 01:34:34,067 --> 01:34:35,267 Settle down, people. 2076 01:34:35,267 --> 01:34:36,688 Settle down. 2077 01:34:36,688 --> 01:34:39,468 Well, I trust we are all enjoying the evening 2078 01:34:39,468 --> 01:34:41,842 like responsible, mature adults. 2079 01:34:41,842 --> 01:34:42,833 (student farts) 2080 01:34:42,833 --> 01:34:44,852 (students laughing) 2081 01:34:44,852 --> 01:34:48,185 At this time, it is my honor to announce 2082 01:34:49,559 --> 01:34:51,726 this year's valedictorian! 2083 01:34:53,441 --> 01:34:56,608 Now, we always take into consideration 2084 01:34:58,308 --> 01:34:59,933 the grades and contributions 2085 01:34:59,933 --> 01:35:03,873 throughout all four years here at Butterhill High. 2086 01:35:03,873 --> 01:35:07,017 And while this particular individual 2087 01:35:07,017 --> 01:35:10,767 may have crashed and burned late in the year, 2088 01:35:12,571 --> 01:35:16,204 the award still goes to Kelly Hankins! 2089 01:35:16,204 --> 01:35:18,181 (students applauding) 2090 01:35:18,181 --> 01:35:19,014 Yay. 2091 01:35:20,764 --> 01:35:23,844 Congratulations, Kelly, and we look forward to hearing 2092 01:35:23,844 --> 01:35:28,011 your words of wisdom at the graduation ceremonies. 2093 01:35:30,041 --> 01:35:32,374 And now, the backward dance! 2094 01:35:33,886 --> 01:35:37,606 So, ladies, grab a partner other than your own! 2095 01:35:37,606 --> 01:35:39,130 Woo! Woo! 2096 01:35:39,130 --> 01:35:41,078 Raise the thing. 2097 01:35:41,078 --> 01:35:43,395 (students chattering) 2098 01:35:43,395 --> 01:35:47,908 ♪ Don't look away ♪ 2099 01:35:47,908 --> 01:35:49,991 ♪ Please ♪ 2100 01:35:51,290 --> 01:35:53,368 - You're my choice, lover boy. 2101 01:35:53,368 --> 01:35:55,060 - [Kelly] What are you doing? 2102 01:35:55,060 --> 01:35:55,957 (alcohol splashing) 2103 01:35:55,957 --> 01:35:57,991 - Hey, Bronco, don't look now, 2104 01:35:57,991 --> 01:35:59,292 but there's a bee on your flower. 2105 01:35:59,292 --> 01:36:00,796 (long-haired boy chuckles) - Yeah, man. 2106 01:36:00,796 --> 01:36:02,673 It's like he's trying to get some honey for his stinger. 2107 01:36:02,673 --> 01:36:06,923 - Yeah. (short-haired boy chuckles) 2108 01:36:09,894 --> 01:36:11,782 (Candy screams) 2109 01:36:11,782 --> 01:36:13,532 - Something poked me! 2110 01:36:16,302 --> 01:36:18,898 - Ditto?! - You perverted slime! 2111 01:36:18,898 --> 01:36:20,099 - [Kelly] Ditto! 2112 01:36:20,099 --> 01:36:21,840 (Bronco groans) 2113 01:36:21,840 --> 01:36:23,090 - He's- - What?! 2114 01:36:24,049 --> 01:36:25,466 - He is pregnant! 2115 01:36:26,301 --> 01:36:27,728 (students gasping) Yeah, that's right, 2116 01:36:27,728 --> 01:36:30,895 Kelly Hankins is gonna to have a baby! 2117 01:36:31,754 --> 01:36:33,784 (Milton laughs) 2118 01:36:33,784 --> 01:36:36,951 (students chattering) 2119 01:36:42,452 --> 01:36:43,972 - [Ditto] Hey. Come on. 2120 01:36:43,972 --> 01:36:46,991 - Extra, extra, read all about it. 2121 01:36:46,991 --> 01:36:49,145 Baby boom at Butterhill High. 2122 01:36:49,145 --> 01:36:52,006 How does it feel to be Milton's mamaboy? 2123 01:36:52,006 --> 01:36:55,209 - He's probably after the Pulitzer Prize. 2124 01:36:55,209 --> 01:36:56,775 I mean, can you believe this? 2125 01:36:56,775 --> 01:36:59,327 Can you believe the slanderous things he's saying about me? 2126 01:36:59,327 --> 01:37:01,569 - They're all true, aren't they? 2127 01:37:01,569 --> 01:37:03,038 - That's besides the point. 2128 01:37:03,038 --> 01:37:06,046 I mean, he doesn't have to make it sound so unusual. 2129 01:37:06,046 --> 01:37:08,436 - Yeah, he takes an ordinary story 2130 01:37:08,436 --> 01:37:10,796 and tries to sensationalize it. 2131 01:37:10,796 --> 01:37:13,787 Are you ever planning to visit the outside world again? 2132 01:37:13,787 --> 01:37:17,206 'Cause if you're not, I sure could use your baseball mitt. 2133 01:37:17,206 --> 01:37:18,385 - Just because a guy likes to spend 2134 01:37:18,385 --> 01:37:19,966 a couple of days alone in his room 2135 01:37:19,966 --> 01:37:22,137 doesn't mean that he's looking to join a monastery. 2136 01:37:22,137 --> 01:37:27,129 And besides, I like spending time with, uh, my goldfish. 2137 01:37:27,129 --> 01:37:29,747 - Yeah, that goldfish is the only social life 2138 01:37:29,747 --> 01:37:31,957 you'll be seeing for a while. 2139 01:37:31,957 --> 01:37:34,585 Sorry to interrupt your date. 2140 01:37:34,585 --> 01:37:36,248 Don't forget about the mitt. 2141 01:37:36,248 --> 01:37:37,081 - Yeah. 2142 01:37:38,331 --> 01:37:41,392 (Kelly sighs) (door closes) 2143 01:37:41,392 --> 01:37:42,225 (hand knocking) 2144 01:37:42,225 --> 01:37:43,732 You can't have my mitt, you vulture! 2145 01:37:43,732 --> 01:37:45,772 (dart clatters) 2146 01:37:45,772 --> 01:37:48,732 - Really wasn't interested in your mitt. 2147 01:37:48,732 --> 01:37:50,092 But maybe your car. 2148 01:37:50,092 --> 01:37:52,009 - Sorry, Dad, too late. 2149 01:37:54,671 --> 01:37:58,132 - I just had a long talk with your Uncle Theus, 2150 01:37:58,132 --> 01:38:01,092 and he told me everything. 2151 01:38:01,092 --> 01:38:03,425 Son, I've never had a reason 2152 01:38:04,332 --> 01:38:06,783 to be anything other than proud of you, 2153 01:38:06,783 --> 01:38:09,043 and I want you to know that that still stands. 2154 01:38:09,043 --> 01:38:12,723 - But, Dad, aren't you ashamed when you walk down the street 2155 01:38:12,723 --> 01:38:14,138 and people point and whisper, 2156 01:38:14,138 --> 01:38:15,971 "There goes the father of that mamaboy"? 2157 01:38:15,971 --> 01:38:17,201 "Eighth wonder of the world." 2158 01:38:17,201 --> 01:38:18,219 "Freak of nature." 2159 01:38:18,219 --> 01:38:20,539 - Is that what you think? 2160 01:38:20,539 --> 01:38:23,219 Son, that couldn't be further from the truth. 2161 01:38:23,219 --> 01:38:27,140 The man upstairs, he asked you for a big favor, 2162 01:38:27,140 --> 01:38:32,140 one with tremendous sacrifice, and you haven't let him down. 2163 01:38:32,551 --> 01:38:34,968 And you've never let me down. 2164 01:38:36,516 --> 01:38:38,881 - It's a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. 2165 01:38:38,881 --> 01:38:41,609 I mean, I could never imagine doing this a second time. 2166 01:38:41,609 --> 01:38:42,929 Mothers are amazing. 2167 01:38:42,929 --> 01:38:44,679 - Aren't they though? 2168 01:38:46,321 --> 01:38:48,684 Family's going to be going to church this morning. 2169 01:38:48,684 --> 01:38:50,319 Will you be joining us? 2170 01:38:50,319 --> 01:38:51,801 - Pretty sure if I showed my face at church, 2171 01:38:51,801 --> 01:38:53,729 Reverend Weld would go ballistic. 2172 01:38:53,729 --> 01:38:56,601 I mean, I must have broken every religious rule in the book. 2173 01:38:56,601 --> 01:38:57,689 - Ah. 2174 01:38:57,689 --> 01:38:59,691 I've never been a fan of religious rules. 2175 01:38:59,691 --> 01:39:02,572 "Do this, do that, do this, do that." 2176 01:39:02,572 --> 01:39:04,841 By the time you're done, you're nothing but a big doo-doo. 2177 01:39:04,841 --> 01:39:06,012 (Kelly chuckles) 2178 01:39:06,012 --> 01:39:08,829 Look, we don't have all the answers, son. 2179 01:39:08,829 --> 01:39:10,492 But I do know this, 2180 01:39:10,492 --> 01:39:14,132 God, he has a plan and a purpose for you. 2181 01:39:14,132 --> 01:39:17,012 And no matter what you go through in life, 2182 01:39:17,012 --> 01:39:18,468 you need not be afraid, 2183 01:39:18,468 --> 01:39:21,313 because all things work together for good. 2184 01:39:21,313 --> 01:39:25,593 God's got your back, so do I. (hand patting) 2185 01:39:25,593 --> 01:39:26,913 - Thanks, Dad. 2186 01:39:26,913 --> 01:39:30,913 Life just seems a lot less scary inside my room. 2187 01:39:33,011 --> 01:39:35,921 - You know, Kelly, you could probably live in your room 2188 01:39:35,921 --> 01:39:37,401 for the rest of your life, 2189 01:39:37,401 --> 01:39:40,273 and nothing bad would ever happen to you. 2190 01:39:40,273 --> 01:39:42,153 But then again, son, 2191 01:39:42,153 --> 01:39:45,903 nothing good would ever happen to you either. 2192 01:39:51,278 --> 01:39:54,028 (Theus grunting) 2193 01:39:54,893 --> 01:39:56,949 (spoon tapping) 2194 01:39:56,949 --> 01:40:00,969 - Buon appetito, furry little pregnant friend. 2195 01:40:00,969 --> 01:40:04,052 Uncle Theus has made your favorite... 2196 01:40:06,449 --> 01:40:07,282 Oh. 2197 01:40:09,548 --> 01:40:11,208 Oh. 2198 01:40:11,208 --> 01:40:14,291 (gentle organ music) 2199 01:40:15,417 --> 01:40:20,417 ♪ Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war ♪ 2200 01:40:23,988 --> 01:40:28,905 ♪ With the cross of Jesus, going on before ♪ 2201 01:40:34,039 --> 01:40:36,111 - Maybe this isn't such a good idea. 2202 01:40:36,111 --> 01:40:37,351 - You think?! 2203 01:40:37,351 --> 01:40:39,721 Reverend Weld's gonna give you so much heat, 2204 01:40:39,721 --> 01:40:41,529 I'm gonna melt just sitting next to you. 2205 01:40:41,529 --> 01:40:43,000 (Kelly sighs) 2206 01:40:43,000 --> 01:40:46,750 - Maybe I should just wait outside, you know? 2207 01:40:49,339 --> 01:40:53,525 ♪ Onward, Christian soldiers ♪ (door opens) 2208 01:40:53,525 --> 01:40:56,525 ♪ Marching as to... ♪ 2209 01:41:00,336 --> 01:41:03,086 (dramatic music) 2210 01:41:26,487 --> 01:41:29,070 - My dear brothers and sisters, 2211 01:41:30,366 --> 01:41:32,887 throughout the ages, God has taught us many lessons, 2212 01:41:32,887 --> 01:41:34,720 but none more dramatic 2213 01:41:37,189 --> 01:41:41,439 than the judgment that follows perverse immorality. 2214 01:41:43,897 --> 01:41:46,238 In the times of the pharaohs, 2215 01:41:46,238 --> 01:41:50,897 God brought forth great plagues upon the Egyptian people. 2216 01:41:50,897 --> 01:41:52,017 And in Sodom and Gomorrah, 2217 01:41:52,017 --> 01:41:55,195 he devastated with fire and brimstone. 2218 01:41:55,195 --> 01:41:57,937 And in the time of Noah, he destroyed the whole world! 2219 01:41:57,937 --> 01:42:00,020 God will damn the wicked! 2220 01:42:02,225 --> 01:42:06,725 Now it is our duty, as God-fearing Christian soldiers, 2221 01:42:08,055 --> 01:42:10,305 to terminate the indecency, 2222 01:42:11,146 --> 01:42:15,769 to eradicate the vermin that shame us before our maker, 2223 01:42:15,769 --> 01:42:19,146 to seek and destroy all that is unholy! 2224 01:42:19,146 --> 01:42:23,396 Now, me, I am a mild-mannered, peace-loving person, 2225 01:42:26,337 --> 01:42:28,697 but I have to tell you, 2226 01:42:28,697 --> 01:42:31,740 my blood boils when I start to see 2227 01:42:31,740 --> 01:42:34,829 how some of our young people are keeping company 2228 01:42:34,829 --> 01:42:37,211 with the Prince of Darkness. 2229 01:42:37,211 --> 01:42:40,981 Yeah, they are dancing with the Devil, 2230 01:42:40,981 --> 01:42:43,800 they are playing rock music with the Devil, 2231 01:42:43,800 --> 01:42:45,867 they are sleeping with the Devil, 2232 01:42:45,867 --> 01:42:49,578 and now, they have fornicated with the Devil! 2233 01:42:49,578 --> 01:42:53,011 One of our very own has sold his soul to Satan, 2234 01:42:53,011 --> 01:42:56,269 and now, he is carrying Satan's child! 2235 01:42:56,269 --> 01:42:57,102 (churchgoers gasping) 2236 01:42:57,102 --> 01:42:58,408 - Now, wait a minute, Reverend! 2237 01:42:58,408 --> 01:43:00,256 - No, there is no minute to wait. 2238 01:43:00,256 --> 01:43:03,128 We must exorcize the demon from within. 2239 01:43:03,128 --> 01:43:07,277 Good Christian soldiers, bring the lost soul forward. 2240 01:43:07,277 --> 01:43:08,843 Hold on to him tight, boys. 2241 01:43:08,843 --> 01:43:12,172 Remember how strong the demon is possessed. 2242 01:43:12,172 --> 01:43:13,362 - Daddy, wait. 2243 01:43:13,362 --> 01:43:15,462 - Oh, Lisa, I'm so glad you're here, honey. 2244 01:43:15,462 --> 01:43:17,254 Please, just hold his head like that. 2245 01:43:17,254 --> 01:43:20,023 You know, make sure it doesn't start spinning around. 2246 01:43:20,023 --> 01:43:22,153 (Reverend Weld panting) 2247 01:43:22,153 --> 01:43:26,403 I call upon you, in the name of God, begone, Satan! 2248 01:43:27,403 --> 01:43:31,498 Please release him from eternal damnation! 2249 01:43:31,498 --> 01:43:34,416 I need the help of the whole congregation. 2250 01:43:34,416 --> 01:43:36,999 Please, Satan, go back to Hell! 2251 01:43:38,666 --> 01:43:40,797 Go back to Hell! - Go back to Hell! 2252 01:43:40,797 --> 01:43:42,865 - [Churchgoers] Go back to Hell! 2253 01:43:42,865 --> 01:43:44,745 Go back to Hell! 2254 01:43:44,745 --> 01:43:46,776 Go back to Hell! 2255 01:43:46,776 --> 01:43:48,776 Go back to Hell! 2256 01:43:48,776 --> 01:43:50,677 Go back to Hell! 2257 01:43:50,677 --> 01:43:52,791 Go back to Hell! 2258 01:43:52,791 --> 01:43:54,857 Go back to Hell! 2259 01:43:54,857 --> 01:43:56,697 Go back to Hell! 2260 01:43:56,697 --> 01:43:58,030 Go back to Hell! 2261 01:43:59,894 --> 01:44:03,705 - Oh, God, please, show us you've heard! 2262 01:44:03,705 --> 01:44:05,270 Bring us a miracle. 2263 01:44:05,270 --> 01:44:06,520 Give us a sign! 2264 01:44:07,598 --> 01:44:09,885 (window shatters) 2265 01:44:09,885 --> 01:44:11,564 Holy crap, son of a bitch. 2266 01:44:11,564 --> 01:44:13,981 (door opens) 2267 01:44:15,345 --> 01:44:16,178 - A sign. 2268 01:44:17,247 --> 01:44:18,247 It's a sign. 2269 01:44:19,412 --> 01:44:22,062 But did you get the message? 2270 01:44:22,062 --> 01:44:25,094 Hm? Did you get the message? 2271 01:44:25,094 --> 01:44:27,264 You don't have to be afraid. 2272 01:44:27,264 --> 01:44:30,851 You don't have to be afraid of God. 2273 01:44:30,851 --> 01:44:32,822 You don't have to be afraid of Satan. 2274 01:44:32,822 --> 01:44:34,083 You don't have to be afraid of your neighbors 2275 01:44:34,083 --> 01:44:35,723 or people far away from you. 2276 01:44:35,723 --> 01:44:38,235 Look, I'm just a scientist, I'm not a religious person, 2277 01:44:38,235 --> 01:44:41,235 but I know that God, right, is love. 2278 01:44:44,505 --> 01:44:46,305 He loves you. 2279 01:44:46,305 --> 01:44:48,055 He loves you and you. 2280 01:44:49,225 --> 01:44:51,642 I suppose God even loves you. 2281 01:44:58,888 --> 01:45:03,138 But right now, God loves Kelly Hankins most of all. 2282 01:45:07,134 --> 01:45:09,134 If that's how God feels, 2283 01:45:10,213 --> 01:45:12,130 who are we to disagree? 2284 01:45:20,257 --> 01:45:22,159 How you doing? 2285 01:45:22,159 --> 01:45:23,788 You okay? 2286 01:45:23,788 --> 01:45:24,626 Come on. 2287 01:45:24,626 --> 01:45:26,217 Let's get outta here. 2288 01:45:26,217 --> 01:45:29,884 This place gives me the heebie-jeebies, man. 2289 01:45:33,409 --> 01:45:34,390 (Theus sighs) 2290 01:45:34,390 --> 01:45:36,900 I haven't been in there in 20 years, 2291 01:45:36,900 --> 01:45:38,626 and I'm gonna give it another 20. 2292 01:45:38,626 --> 01:45:39,879 - Thanks for the rescue, Uncle Theus. 2293 01:45:39,879 --> 01:45:41,879 I mean, you're a lifesaver. 2294 01:45:41,879 --> 01:45:42,962 - Or a taker. 2295 01:45:44,628 --> 01:45:46,137 - What? 2296 01:45:46,137 --> 01:45:47,999 - Better you should see. 2297 01:45:47,999 --> 01:45:49,009 I'll show you. Come on. 2298 01:45:49,009 --> 01:45:49,842 Let's go. 2299 01:45:50,849 --> 01:45:52,126 - You're not gonna make me be a guineapig 2300 01:45:52,126 --> 01:45:55,835 in one of your experiments again, are you? 2301 01:45:55,835 --> 01:45:57,180 What's wrong? 2302 01:45:57,180 --> 01:45:58,597 - "What's wrong"? 2303 01:46:00,081 --> 01:46:00,998 Everything. 2304 01:46:02,191 --> 01:46:07,024 I've put you in grave danger, all to satisfy my curiosity. 2305 01:46:09,499 --> 01:46:10,749 - But I'm fine. 2306 01:46:13,011 --> 01:46:14,261 - For how long? 2307 01:46:19,765 --> 01:46:22,265 We are in uncharted territory. 2308 01:46:25,026 --> 01:46:27,276 We must end the experiment. 2309 01:46:30,106 --> 01:46:32,273 - What if I don't want to? 2310 01:46:33,334 --> 01:46:36,667 - The consequences could be unthinkable. 2311 01:46:37,546 --> 01:46:39,879 Look, the decision is yours. 2312 01:46:47,378 --> 01:46:49,461 - I need some time alone. 2313 01:46:55,127 --> 01:46:57,627 (Theus sighs) 2314 01:46:59,778 --> 01:47:00,828 (Theus sighs) 2315 01:47:00,828 --> 01:47:02,891 - [Churchgoers] Go back to Hell! 2316 01:47:02,891 --> 01:47:04,793 Go back to Hell! - The decision is yours. 2317 01:47:04,793 --> 01:47:06,215 - Go back to Hell! - One of our very own 2318 01:47:06,215 --> 01:47:08,173 has sold his soul to Satan. - Go back to Hell! 2319 01:47:08,173 --> 01:47:09,093 - [Lisa] You've cracked! 2320 01:47:09,093 --> 01:47:10,219 - Go back to Hell! - I've put you 2321 01:47:10,219 --> 01:47:13,205 in grave danger. - Go back to Hell! 2322 01:47:13,205 --> 01:47:14,968 Go back to Hell! 2323 01:47:14,968 --> 01:47:17,635 (ominous music) 2324 01:47:44,383 --> 01:47:47,660 (salesman laughs) 2325 01:47:47,660 --> 01:47:48,980 - Hey. - Get outta here! 2326 01:47:48,980 --> 01:47:50,986 - Hit me with your best shot. - Mamaboy. 2327 01:47:50,986 --> 01:47:53,085 - It'll burst out of you. - One bad decision 2328 01:47:53,085 --> 01:47:53,925 after the next. 2329 01:47:53,925 --> 01:47:55,462 You stop that. 2330 01:47:55,462 --> 01:47:58,712 You can't get away from me that easily. 2331 01:48:15,264 --> 01:48:16,097 - Mama. 2332 01:48:18,523 --> 01:48:21,190 (Kelly screams) 2333 01:48:22,264 --> 01:48:26,512 (doll head clatters) (Kelly panting) 2334 01:48:26,512 --> 01:48:27,435 (hand knocking) 2335 01:48:27,435 --> 01:48:28,726 - Kelly! 2336 01:48:28,726 --> 01:48:30,376 You about ready? 2337 01:48:30,376 --> 01:48:33,376 I pressed your gown and... 2338 01:48:33,376 --> 01:48:35,626 Kelly, you're still in bed. 2339 01:48:39,083 --> 01:48:41,112 - I'm just not feeling too good. 2340 01:48:41,112 --> 01:48:45,643 - But, dear, it's graduation day, and the whole family- 2341 01:48:45,643 --> 01:48:47,823 - I'm sorry, Mom. 2342 01:48:47,823 --> 01:48:49,694 I don't think I can make it. 2343 01:48:49,694 --> 01:48:51,225 - Jeff? 2344 01:48:51,225 --> 01:48:53,725 Kelly's not feeling very well. 2345 01:48:56,654 --> 01:48:58,054 - [Jeff] Rough night, son? 2346 01:48:58,054 --> 01:48:59,111 - Nightmare. 2347 01:48:59,111 --> 01:49:01,260 - Your mother says you're sick. 2348 01:49:01,260 --> 01:49:03,482 - No, not really. 2349 01:49:03,482 --> 01:49:05,138 I'm just scared. 2350 01:49:05,138 --> 01:49:07,162 Guess I'm just a coward. 2351 01:49:07,162 --> 01:49:08,847 I mean, I've been praying to make this all go away, 2352 01:49:08,847 --> 01:49:12,264 but I just don't think God listens to me. 2353 01:49:20,089 --> 01:49:22,009 - God listens. 2354 01:49:22,009 --> 01:49:24,592 He just doesn't always say yes. 2355 01:49:25,878 --> 01:49:28,961 Kelly, even the best starting pitcher 2356 01:49:30,107 --> 01:49:33,598 occasionally needs a reliever to come in and take over. 2357 01:49:33,598 --> 01:49:35,255 Son, maybe you've been holding that ball 2358 01:49:35,255 --> 01:49:37,865 too tight for too long. 2359 01:49:37,865 --> 01:49:40,654 Why don't you put that in God's hands, 2360 01:49:40,654 --> 01:49:43,472 and let him decide the next pitch? 2361 01:49:43,472 --> 01:49:44,305 Trust him. 2362 01:49:45,702 --> 01:49:48,019 - All right, Dad, I will. 2363 01:49:48,019 --> 01:49:49,706 But we're gonna need a miracle to win this one. 2364 01:49:49,706 --> 01:49:50,657 (Jeff chuckles) 2365 01:49:50,657 --> 01:49:53,258 - Well, you just happened to be in luck, son, 2366 01:49:53,258 --> 01:49:57,068 because God is in the miracle business. 2367 01:49:57,068 --> 01:50:00,607 And if you don't want to go to graduation, it's all right. 2368 01:50:00,607 --> 01:50:04,190 The ones that love you, they'll understand. 2369 01:50:06,028 --> 01:50:08,725 Now is there anything I can get you? 2370 01:50:08,725 --> 01:50:10,068 - On your way out there, 2371 01:50:10,068 --> 01:50:12,107 you might want to stop by a travel agency. 2372 01:50:12,107 --> 01:50:13,919 Pick up a ticket for Africa. 2373 01:50:13,919 --> 01:50:17,749 One way. (Jeff chuckles) 2374 01:50:17,749 --> 01:50:19,325 - Business or coach? 2375 01:50:19,325 --> 01:50:20,625 (Kelly chuckles) 2376 01:50:20,625 --> 01:50:21,792 - First class. 2377 01:50:22,752 --> 01:50:23,915 (audience applauding) 2378 01:50:23,915 --> 01:50:25,929 - Sandra L. Paxson. 2379 01:50:25,929 --> 01:50:29,096 (audience applauding) 2380 01:50:31,162 --> 01:50:33,203 Kelly R. Hankins. 2381 01:50:33,203 --> 01:50:36,370 (audience applauding) 2382 01:50:39,662 --> 01:50:40,662 Not present. 2383 01:50:42,012 --> 01:50:43,551 - I don't blame him for not showing up. 2384 01:50:43,551 --> 01:50:46,908 - Wendy K. Brownshire. - It's all my fault. 2385 01:50:46,908 --> 01:50:49,908 Just a moment of temporary insanity. 2386 01:50:51,305 --> 01:50:55,972 - Candice J. Cotton. (audience cheering) 2387 01:50:58,723 --> 01:50:59,809 Ditto Moore. 2388 01:50:59,809 --> 01:51:02,976 (audience applauding) 2389 01:51:03,820 --> 01:51:06,570 (hands slapping) 2390 01:51:08,809 --> 01:51:10,069 - We did it. 2391 01:51:10,069 --> 01:51:13,068 We did it - Milton Vanderblack. 2392 01:51:13,068 --> 01:51:16,068 (people applauding) 2393 01:51:27,957 --> 01:51:31,066 Bartholomew B. Winterbottom, III. 2394 01:51:31,066 --> 01:51:34,233 (audience applauding) 2395 01:51:37,488 --> 01:51:38,571 Lisa G. Weld. 2396 01:51:39,644 --> 01:51:42,644 (audience cheering) 2397 01:51:52,626 --> 01:51:54,917 Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you 2398 01:51:54,917 --> 01:51:58,466 our graduating class of Butterhill High. 2399 01:51:58,466 --> 01:52:01,466 (audience cheering) 2400 01:52:02,679 --> 01:52:05,749 At this time, we would normally hear 2401 01:52:05,749 --> 01:52:08,166 from our class valedictorian. 2402 01:52:09,399 --> 01:52:13,418 However, due to unforeseen circumstances, 2403 01:52:13,418 --> 01:52:16,439 this year's speaker is not present. 2404 01:52:16,439 --> 01:52:20,079 In his place, I would like to comment 2405 01:52:20,079 --> 01:52:23,695 on these fine, responsible, mature, young adults. 2406 01:52:23,695 --> 01:52:24,980 (student farts) 2407 01:52:24,980 --> 01:52:27,158 (audience laughing) 2408 01:52:27,158 --> 01:52:30,070 You need to see a doctor, young lady. 2409 01:52:30,070 --> 01:52:31,070 Settle down. 2410 01:52:33,070 --> 01:52:37,150 As these leaders of tomorrow begin their journey 2411 01:52:37,150 --> 01:52:39,161 through the maze of life, 2412 01:52:39,161 --> 01:52:43,479 they will find their most memorable years were spent 2413 01:52:43,479 --> 01:52:46,462 with me here at Butterhill High. 2414 01:52:46,462 --> 01:52:50,545 I molded them and painstakingly shaped them into, 2415 01:52:52,460 --> 01:52:56,800 what I believe, will be this- (door opens) 2416 01:52:56,800 --> 01:52:59,217 Generation's, uh, next, uh... 2417 01:53:01,982 --> 01:53:03,149 Kelly Hankins. 2418 01:53:04,060 --> 01:53:07,060 I mean, it looks like Kelly Hankins, 2419 01:53:08,030 --> 01:53:11,863 our class valedictorian, is with us after all. 2420 01:53:13,469 --> 01:53:15,062 I don't know how. 2421 01:53:15,062 --> 01:53:18,812 So, ladies and gentlemen, your valedictorian, 2422 01:53:20,064 --> 01:53:21,814 Mr. Kelly R. Hankins. 2423 01:53:23,013 --> 01:53:26,180 (audience applauding) 2424 01:53:28,133 --> 01:53:32,182 - Thank you, Principal Miller, for those inspiring words. 2425 01:53:32,182 --> 01:53:33,673 (Kelly sighs) 2426 01:53:33,673 --> 01:53:38,229 I would now like to give my valedictorian speech. 2427 01:53:38,229 --> 01:53:43,099 Friends and relatives, teachers and fellow students, 2428 01:53:43,099 --> 01:53:44,982 today we leave the safety of the lives we've known 2429 01:53:44,982 --> 01:53:46,926 as Butterhill High School students, 2430 01:53:46,926 --> 01:53:48,187 and we venture into the world 2431 01:53:48,187 --> 01:53:50,937 of uncertainty and possibilities. 2432 01:53:52,207 --> 01:53:53,318 We will face challenges, 2433 01:53:53,318 --> 01:53:56,465 the likes of which we could have never dreamed, 2434 01:53:56,465 --> 01:53:57,998 and the way in which we respond will be 2435 01:53:57,998 --> 01:54:01,547 forever embedded into our character. 2436 01:54:01,547 --> 01:54:05,019 Any great challenge will initially scare you to death. 2437 01:54:05,019 --> 01:54:07,186 Fear of failure, ridicule, 2438 01:54:08,855 --> 01:54:12,187 embarrassment, fear of losing friends, 2439 01:54:12,187 --> 01:54:15,937 fear of losing loved ones, and fear of death. 2440 01:54:17,217 --> 01:54:20,017 Do not be afraid to go out on a limb, 2441 01:54:20,017 --> 01:54:21,806 because that is where the fruit is. 2442 01:54:21,806 --> 01:54:26,716 You must learn and grow by doing what you are afraid of. 2443 01:54:26,716 --> 01:54:29,316 I was recently enslaved by fear. 2444 01:54:29,316 --> 01:54:34,025 It robbed me of my joy, stole precious moments of my life, 2445 01:54:34,025 --> 01:54:37,237 and chipped away at my character. 2446 01:54:37,237 --> 01:54:39,729 Fear let me down a path of destructiveness, 2447 01:54:39,729 --> 01:54:42,958 and nearly convinced me to destroy another's. 2448 01:54:42,958 --> 01:54:44,912 Fear held its hand to the throat of possibly 2449 01:54:44,912 --> 01:54:47,158 the next great theologian, 2450 01:54:47,158 --> 01:54:48,991 or dedicated educator, 2451 01:54:50,159 --> 01:54:53,540 or future Hall of Fame athlete. 2452 01:54:53,540 --> 01:54:55,604 President Roosevelt once told us 2453 01:54:55,604 --> 01:54:58,672 we have nothing to fear but fear itself. 2454 01:54:58,672 --> 01:55:02,362 And I, for one, will no longer bow to the influence of fear. 2455 01:55:02,362 --> 01:55:05,390 And it is my hope that you will stand up and join me 2456 01:55:05,390 --> 01:55:07,140 in facing your fears. 2457 01:55:08,630 --> 01:55:11,419 And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 2458 01:55:11,419 --> 01:55:12,836 I will fear no... 2459 01:55:20,969 --> 01:55:22,386 I will fear no... 2460 01:55:25,729 --> 01:55:26,562 No, um... 2461 01:55:30,412 --> 01:55:32,273 I will fear no... 2462 01:55:32,273 --> 01:55:33,106 (body thuds) 2463 01:55:33,106 --> 01:55:35,069 (people gasping) - Kelly! 2464 01:55:35,069 --> 01:55:36,435 - It's time. 2465 01:55:36,435 --> 01:55:37,923 I'm time! 2466 01:55:37,923 --> 01:55:39,121 - Kelly! 2467 01:55:39,121 --> 01:55:39,954 Stage four! 2468 01:55:39,954 --> 01:55:41,273 Stage four. Breathe! 2469 01:55:41,273 --> 01:55:46,273 (Ditto loudly breathing) (people chattering) 2470 01:55:48,143 --> 01:55:50,726 (gentle music) 2471 01:55:56,375 --> 01:55:58,453 - [Kelly] I must be dead. 2472 01:55:58,453 --> 01:55:59,994 I see an angel. 2473 01:55:59,994 --> 01:56:02,244 - No, Kelly, it's me. Lisa. 2474 01:56:05,076 --> 01:56:07,164 - [Kelly] Same thing. 2475 01:56:07,164 --> 01:56:08,331 What happened? 2476 01:56:09,884 --> 01:56:11,217 - You collapsed. 2477 01:56:12,242 --> 01:56:13,825 We nearly lost you. 2478 01:56:16,703 --> 01:56:18,203 - Where's my baby? 2479 01:56:28,992 --> 01:56:31,909 - Congratulations, Mom, it's a boy. 2480 01:56:33,774 --> 01:56:34,607 - Boy. 2481 01:56:35,774 --> 01:56:36,857 He's perfect. 2482 01:56:37,761 --> 01:56:39,651 No horn-rimmed glasses or anything. 2483 01:56:39,651 --> 01:56:40,771 (baby coos) 2484 01:56:40,771 --> 01:56:43,512 Nothing could ever top this. 2485 01:56:43,512 --> 01:56:45,512 - I wouldn't be so sure. 2486 01:56:49,052 --> 01:56:51,552 (baby cooing) 2487 01:56:56,259 --> 01:56:57,759 This one's a girl. 2488 01:57:00,178 --> 01:57:01,011 - A girl? 2489 01:57:02,047 --> 01:57:03,078 Two? 2490 01:57:03,078 --> 01:57:05,794 How am I ever gonna handle two? 2491 01:57:05,794 --> 01:57:07,627 - How are we going to? 2492 01:57:10,183 --> 01:57:11,422 - "We"? 2493 01:57:11,422 --> 01:57:14,001 - I told my father about us. 2494 01:57:14,001 --> 01:57:14,834 - You did? 2495 01:57:17,263 --> 01:57:19,285 I'm sorry everything turned out so bad. 2496 01:57:19,285 --> 01:57:20,118 - "Bad"? 2497 01:57:21,085 --> 01:57:21,918 No, no. 2498 01:57:23,365 --> 01:57:26,376 Everything turned out good. 2499 01:57:26,376 --> 01:57:30,293 Now, I know how much my father really loves me. 2500 01:57:32,386 --> 01:57:33,636 You're my hero. 2501 01:57:35,475 --> 01:57:39,346 And from now on, I'm not gonna be scared of anyone 2502 01:57:39,346 --> 01:57:42,179 or anything as long as I have you. 2503 01:57:48,967 --> 01:57:50,217 Can you get up? 2504 01:57:51,122 --> 01:57:52,175 - Yeah. - There's something 2505 01:57:52,175 --> 01:57:53,758 I want to show you. 2506 01:58:18,990 --> 01:58:21,740 (crowd cheering) 2507 01:58:26,666 --> 01:58:27,711 - [Crowd] Kelly! 2508 01:58:27,711 --> 01:58:28,720 Kelly! 2509 01:58:28,720 --> 01:58:29,765 Kelly! 2510 01:58:29,765 --> 01:58:30,666 Kelly! 2511 01:58:30,666 --> 01:58:31,677 Kelly! 2512 01:58:31,677 --> 01:58:32,510 Kelly! 2513 01:58:37,619 --> 01:58:38,786 - All the way! 2514 01:58:40,258 --> 01:58:41,217 - [Crowd] Kelly! 2515 01:58:41,217 --> 01:58:42,221 Kelly! 2516 01:58:42,221 --> 01:58:43,163 Kelly! 2517 01:58:43,163 --> 01:58:44,187 Kelly! 2518 01:58:44,187 --> 01:58:45,132 Kelly! 2519 01:58:45,132 --> 01:58:46,054 Kelly! 2520 01:58:46,054 --> 01:58:47,035 Kelly! 2521 01:58:47,035 --> 01:58:48,064 Kelly! 2522 01:58:48,064 --> 01:58:48,897 Kelly! 2523 01:58:59,713 --> 01:59:01,796 - They're all behind you, 2524 01:59:04,933 --> 01:59:08,516 letting you know you made the right choice. 2525 01:59:09,470 --> 01:59:12,220 (crowd cheering) 2526 01:59:16,388 --> 01:59:18,138 They love you, Kelly. 2527 01:59:20,015 --> 01:59:21,432 - What about you? 2528 01:59:23,687 --> 01:59:28,520 - Well, I've got a heavy hankering for you, Kelly Hankins. 2529 01:59:49,563 --> 01:59:52,730 (gentle guitar music) 2530 02:00:00,348 --> 02:00:05,348 ♪ I am praying for the answers to these questions ♪ 2531 02:00:08,546 --> 02:00:13,417 ♪ These sleepless nights go on and on ♪ 2532 02:00:13,417 --> 02:00:17,119 ♪ I feel like I'm running away from the truth ♪ 2533 02:00:17,119 --> 02:00:20,450 ♪ Ignoring everything I know ♪ 2534 02:00:20,450 --> 02:00:24,783 ♪ And everyone, oh, everyone I love ♪ 2535 02:00:26,271 --> 02:00:29,271 (upbeat rock music) 2536 02:00:37,234 --> 02:00:41,612 ♪ I was just a boy, I didn't know any better ♪ 2537 02:00:41,612 --> 02:00:45,183 ♪ The thoughts of my future and all its demons ♪ 2538 02:00:45,183 --> 02:00:48,655 ♪ In life, now I search for constant reason ♪ 2539 02:00:48,655 --> 02:00:53,655 ♪ To get out of my bed ♪ 2540 02:00:53,935 --> 02:00:58,935 ♪ Listen to the voice inside my head ♪ 2541 02:00:59,175 --> 02:01:00,335 ♪ Trying to tell me to ♪ 2542 02:01:00,335 --> 02:01:03,146 ♪ Cope with all these different standards ♪ 2543 02:01:03,146 --> 02:01:05,676 ♪ Playing life to please the crowd ♪ 2544 02:01:05,676 --> 02:01:08,784 ♪ It's hard when there's too much to handle ♪ 2545 02:01:08,784 --> 02:01:12,299 ♪ Hope to turn this life around ♪ 2546 02:01:12,299 --> 02:01:17,299 ♪ In light, you will find me ♪ 2547 02:01:17,698 --> 02:01:22,698 ♪ Hold on tight, through the night, I am yours ♪ 2548 02:01:28,389 --> 02:01:33,176 ♪ Take me back home, safely, I'll go ♪ 2549 02:01:33,176 --> 02:01:36,694 ♪ Back to my bed with these thoughts of anger ♪ 2550 02:01:36,694 --> 02:01:39,834 ♪ Confused and spinning around my head ♪ 2551 02:01:39,834 --> 02:01:42,733 ♪ You know, it's true, I think i get it ♪ 2552 02:01:42,733 --> 02:01:45,393 ♪ I'm not the man that you intended ♪ 2553 02:01:45,393 --> 02:01:47,753 ♪ Round and round, it's plain to see ♪ 2554 02:01:47,753 --> 02:01:51,193 ♪ This road I'm on is killing me ♪ 2555 02:01:51,193 --> 02:01:53,988 ♪ Cope with all these different standards ♪ 2556 02:01:53,988 --> 02:01:56,501 ♪ Playing life to please the crowd ♪ 2557 02:01:56,501 --> 02:01:59,590 ♪ It's hard when there's too much to handle ♪ 2558 02:01:59,590 --> 02:02:03,192 ♪ Hope to turn this life around ♪ 2559 02:02:03,192 --> 02:02:08,192 ♪ In light, you will find me ♪ 2560 02:02:08,552 --> 02:02:13,552 ♪ Hold on tight, through the night, I am yours ♪ 2561 02:02:14,563 --> 02:02:19,563 ♪ In light, you will find me ♪ 2562 02:02:19,814 --> 02:02:24,814 ♪ Hold on tight, through the night, I am yours ♪ 2563 02:02:48,362 --> 02:02:53,362 ♪ In light, you will find me ♪ 2564 02:02:53,691 --> 02:02:58,691 ♪ Hold on tight, through the night, I am yours ♪ 2565 02:03:00,339 --> 02:03:03,657 ♪ I am yours ♪ ♪ In light ♪ 2566 02:03:03,657 --> 02:03:04,977 ♪ You will find ♪ 2567 02:03:04,977 --> 02:03:07,822 ♪ You will find me ♪ ♪ Hold on tight ♪ 2568 02:03:07,822 --> 02:03:10,563 ♪ Hold on tight ♪ ♪ Hold on tight ♪ 2569 02:03:10,563 --> 02:03:11,970 ♪ Through the night ♪ 2570 02:03:11,970 --> 02:03:13,780 ♪ I am yours ♪ ♪ In light ♪ 2571 02:03:13,780 --> 02:03:16,231 ♪ In light ♪ ♪ You will find ♪ 2572 02:03:16,231 --> 02:03:19,048 ♪ You will find me ♪ ♪ Hold on tight ♪ 2573 02:03:19,048 --> 02:03:21,938 ♪ Hold on tight ♪ ♪ Hold on tight ♪ 2574 02:03:21,938 --> 02:03:25,032 ♪ Through the night, I am yours ♪ 2575 02:03:25,032 --> 02:03:27,554 ♪ In light ♪ ♪ You will find ♪ 2576 02:03:27,554 --> 02:03:30,440 ♪ You will find me ♪ ♪ Hold tight ♪ 2577 02:03:30,440 --> 02:03:33,149 ♪ Hold on tight ♪ ♪ Hold on tight ♪ 2578 02:03:33,149 --> 02:03:38,149 ♪ Through the night, I am yours ♪ 2579 02:03:39,111 --> 02:03:42,514 ♪ You'll never understand what you do to me ♪ 2580 02:03:42,514 --> 02:03:46,135 ♪ Just one touch, feel your heart beating next to me ♪ 2581 02:03:46,135 --> 02:03:48,263 ♪ 'Cause I've been waiting for so long ♪ 2582 02:03:48,263 --> 02:03:51,401 ♪ Just to see you leave ♪ 2583 02:03:51,401 --> 02:03:53,440 ♪ So don't leave me ♪ 2584 02:03:53,440 --> 02:03:56,809 ♪ Trust me, baby, I'll be your everything ♪ 2585 02:03:56,809 --> 02:04:00,462 ♪ Just one kiss, one smile, girl, you make me sing ♪ 2586 02:04:00,462 --> 02:04:02,620 ♪ 'Cause I've been waiting for so long ♪ 2587 02:04:02,620 --> 02:04:05,729 ♪ Just to see you leave ♪ 2588 02:04:05,729 --> 02:04:08,718 ♪ So don't leave me ♪ 2589 02:04:08,718 --> 02:04:12,310 ♪ Ooh ♪ 2590 02:04:12,310 --> 02:04:15,878 ♪ Ooh ♪ 2591 02:04:15,878 --> 02:04:18,135 ♪ Ooh ♪ 2592 02:04:18,135 --> 02:04:19,502 ♪ Ooh ♪ 2593 02:04:19,502 --> 02:04:22,778 ♪ Ooh ♪ 2594 02:04:22,778 --> 02:04:26,861 ♪ 'Cause I'm crazy for you, yeah ♪ 168757

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