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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:20,760 Lana 4 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:22,680 Will you be my wife 5 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,640 I'll make you the happiest boy 6 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,360 I'll make me the happiest girl 7 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,960 Everybody's looking I feel sick 8 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,120 Can you please just say something 9 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:56,040 [ It's so important to make someone happy ] 10 00:00:56,320 --> 00:01:00,200 [ Make just one somebody happy ] 11 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:04,320 [Make just one heart to heart you... ] 12 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:08,080 [...you care for ] 13 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:12,320 [A smile that cheers you... ] 14 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:16,400 [A face that lights when near you] 15 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:22,560 [ Then love could possibly find you... ] 16 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,560 Charlie! 17 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:28,360 Charlie! 18 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:30,760 Charlie! 19 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,160 That's what I used to say to Charlie 20 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:40,440 But he’s dead now, he's dead. 21 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,760 I used to sort of do the whistle and the (claps) 22 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,280 He'd always come and sort of lick my right knee 23 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,680 But he is dead now. 24 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,400 (Phone rings) 25 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:55,560 Hello there Vacuum Customer Complaints Helpline this is Alex speaking how can I help? 26 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:59,080 (muffled phone conversation) 27 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,200 Okay sir 28 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,760 How much of the child is actually stuck within the unit itself? 29 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:05,760 the main unit 30 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,480 (muffled phone conversation) 31 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,560 Three thirds, three thirds... 32 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,200 His whole arm sir, okay... 33 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,240 Hello sir are you still there? 34 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,360 He just hung up 35 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,040 People don't always realise unfortunately 36 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:22,960 how dangerous vacuum cleaners can be 37 00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:25,080 killing machines 38 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:26,720 as we've just experienced 39 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,440 obviously we hope he's not dead 40 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,760 (birds cheeping) 41 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,280 So this is my collection of DVDs 42 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,240 So I'm just gonna quickly tell you my absolute favourites 43 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,920 now you can probably tell because 44 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:41,720 I've got two of them 45 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,200 Superb. 46 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,440 No other words that can describe the performances. 47 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,120 And they obviously fall in love 48 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,320 The thing is with thing one is separation is key. 49 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,080 Remember cause he's in Seattle 50 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,560 and she's the other side of America 51 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,480 so it's always separation which is key 52 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,000 and obviously they fall in love because of it. 53 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,000 (Exhales) 54 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,200 Let me show you one of my favourite cookery books 55 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,520 This is the serious Saturday lunch for eight 56 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:21,920 Of course, I can scale that back for one 57 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:22,920 very easily 58 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,880 of course... it's not too much trouble 59 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,040 You know it's sort of... two medium onions finely sliced for example 60 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:30,320 sort of 61 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,920 one onion for four 62 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,280 I suppose half an onion for two 63 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,840 and just... quarter of an onion 64 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:41,080 (cutlery clinking) 65 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:55,960 ah Mum 66 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,520 D'ya get your leaflet babe? 67 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,320 You mean the one you just put through the letter box? 68 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:03,120 I've never done nothing I've been getting the washing out 69 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,920 Mum will you stop coming through the back door! 70 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,760 What you on about? For God's sake 71 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:07,760 Everytime 72 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:08,760 Have a look 73 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,560 No one's allowed to mess him about like I do 74 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,960 you know and if otherwise I'll have 'em 75 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,320 definitely 76 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:20,080 Right hunny let's get this dating website thing 77 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:21,080 Name 78 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,080 Male 79 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:22,720 Yeh.. 80 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,120 Travel.. right where do you like to travel? 81 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,760 Well I don't like travelling Mum it's not.. 82 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,280 I've told you, you know that I don't like travelling 83 00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:34,200 You do like travelling we went to Pontin's 84 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:38,680 Skegness! That's not travelling that's North East of England 85 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,240 Okay.. Film.. 86 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,640 Well obviously again Sleepless in Seattle 87 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:43,760 You've Got Mail 88 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:45,600 And Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! 89 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,080 (sings) Bang bang chitty chitty bang bang 90 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,040 (sings) Our fine four faithful friend! 91 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,120 That's for kids. 92 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,960 Okay, right what are you gonna say to her? 93 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,720 I'll say "Hi I'm Alex" 94 00:04:58,720 --> 00:04:59,720 "How are you?" 95 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,280 They'll say "how are you" and then 96 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,600 I'll say... cause I thought about this.. cause I'm 97 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,480 a rare blood type of AB negative I thought 98 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,640 I'll say "are you also the AB negative?" 99 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,640 He hasn't had sex but who cares 100 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:15,280 that makes him a nice guy maybe he'll do it right the first time 101 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,320 it's er.... I don't know because 102 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,440 Something I haven't said I've actually got a condition 103 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:57,400 where sometimes I can faint in rooms of people, lots and lots of people so 104 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,240 sometimes I have a tendency to 105 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,200 I'm really sorry to interrupt but 106 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,320 I just saw your badge I was just wondering are you going to the speed dating as well? 107 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:04,160 Is it in there? 108 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,960 Yes! Are you going in? 109 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,840 Yeah! Well I plan to 110 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:14,680 What's with all the TV crew are you like a reality TV star? 111 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:19,800 No actually they're making a documentary about me finding love 112 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:25,280 Oh! They're taking you speed dating I get it 113 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,280 Cool well 114 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:29,160 Good luck 115 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:30,160 Thank you 116 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:31,920 See you in there Good luck 117 00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:40,840 Um, I've got a fun fact as well. 118 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:41,920 Yeah.. A fun fact.. 119 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:43,160 Go ahead. 120 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:48,080 Did you know that gas... ...doesn't actually have a smell? 121 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,400 Surely gas has... 122 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:53,480 Yes, yes, yes, yes. So when was your last boyfriend? 123 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,440 So...How did you find it? 124 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,440 Really good... really really good, yeah 125 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,040 very good.. lots of attractive females 126 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,680 nice banter.. so it's good.. 127 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:28,960 good... 128 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,480 Should we do this again then? 129 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,400 Yes, yes... 130 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:36,400 Definitely. 131 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,440 definitely again yes I think so 132 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,080 Great, great time.. 133 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:06,560 This is Fatlana 134 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:07,560 and just like here 135 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,920 there are over one hundred million single women 136 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,800 in Russia and Eastern Europe 137 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,400 Here at BridesRUs.com 138 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,040 we help you find one of them 139 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,520 beautiful women from Eastern Europe and Russia 140 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,840 are looking for responsible, reliable and employed men to marry 141 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,280 and to have a family with. 142 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,160 Men, you don't have to be rich 143 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,600 but you are expected to 144 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:26,840 provide a home... 145 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,520 furnish her with adequate romance 146 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,960 and you must be able to afford basic activities 147 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,880 in order to maximise the potential of your future together. 148 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,000 Sign up now. 149 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,160 Your future is only one click away! 150 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,560 We take no responsibility for our member's actions 151 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:45,080 [cork pops] 152 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,640 [cheer] 153 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,680 I was gonna propose a toast 154 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:51,680 actually 155 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,720 so, I've met someone... 156 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:57,280 I think we're in love.. 157 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,640 and, she's not a dog 158 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:03,120 she's a human.. 159 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,440 but not a dog in a sort of.. 160 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,120 derogatory way.. 161 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,480 she's actually very sort of lovely. 162 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,480 ..and cheers! 163 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,480 okay then... 164 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:18,280 So yes, sorry this is Natalie 165 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:21,760 she's been doing some translating for us 166 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,760 actually I think you probably saw Natalie the other day 167 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:25,760 she was across the street 168 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:28,840 I think she was breaking up with your girlfriend I think? 169 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:30,720 I don't know or she was breaking up with you 170 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:31,840 Hi! 171 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,880 Because I... Alex! 172 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,440 I was gonna, I was gonna show you 173 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:40,440 a photo 174 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:42,160 a picture of Lana 175 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,800 so I'm not sure where it's from 176 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,840 I'm not sure where it's from, I mean it's 177 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,240 I wanna say it's some sort of 178 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:49,240 some sort of quarry 179 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,000 but er, yeah 180 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,560 it doesn't seem right does it 181 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,840 It's a beach in Moldova 182 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,120 so as I was saying 183 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,720 so it's sort of like Sleepless in Seattle 184 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,000 one of my favourite, favourite films 185 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,680 and of course like I was saying you know 186 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,240 separation is key 187 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,120 is really key 188 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,560 and opposites always attract 189 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:14,360 so for example, she doesn't like romance 190 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:15,920 .. great! 191 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:20,360 she likes tall blonde men 192 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:22,680 so, not even close 193 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,560 ...not even... 194 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,560 she likes cats 195 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,160 and hates dogs 196 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,200 so that's another one 197 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:34,800 so if that's not opposites attract then 198 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:36,560 I don't know what is! 199 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:41,400 [birds cheeping] 200 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,040 [glasses clink] 201 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,760 so cheers cheers! 202 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,440 [birds chirping] 203 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,960 so I've obviously recently got a cat 204 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,040 called Ivarvara 205 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:55,800 Russian name... 206 00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:59,000 I think she's just sitting over there at the moment 207 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,200 but obviously 208 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:04,400 you know I've tried quite hard to sort of 209 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,720 be friends 210 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:09,240 this is not like Charlie because obviously dogs are very different to cats 211 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:13,440 [cat growls] 212 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,720 the thing, the problem is... really is.. 213 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,480 you've got this sort of... 214 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:18,960 buckles 215 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:19,960 I mean 216 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:21,880 buckles does not work for cats 217 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,280 but maybe for dogs, so maybe if I just... 218 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:25,720 stroke her here... 219 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,400 put this thing on her 220 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,920 [cat groans] 221 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,760 [Alex gasps] 222 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:42,600 [cat growls] 223 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,440 that has happened a few times 224 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:46,640 so that's.. 225 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:47,720 ten.. 226 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,040 that's why... 227 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,280 she actually got me there 228 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:54,840 you can actually see the little dimple there she just got me 229 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,480 it's actually bleeding 230 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:04,600 [TV movie plays] 231 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:08,400 so, there's actually.. I don't know if you know.. 232 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,880 but there's a recipe 233 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,760 and a formula to love 234 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:13,840 to finding love 235 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,200 and let me tell you, so... 236 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,200 1. boy meets girl 237 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,160 okay 238 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,120 2. opposites attract 239 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,360 right 240 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,600 3. he likes her 241 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,280 4. and she wants something else 242 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,360 5. separation is key 243 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,720 always, always the separation 244 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,080 very important part 245 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:39,720 then... 246 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,440 6. turmoil at three quarter mark 247 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,440 and then 248 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,160 7. love... 249 00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:54,440 [airplane landing] 250 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,800 [Alex vomits] 251 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:51,160 [coughs] 252 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,880 You don't have to be rich but you are expected to 253 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:14,480 provide a home, furnish her with adequate romance 254 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,160 and you must be able to afford basic activities 255 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:20,160 in order to maximise the potential of your future together 256 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,200 Sign up now, your future is only one click away. 257 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,000 I mean maybe it is a bit sudden 258 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,240 bit sudden... 259 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:34,240 I'm just, just going through all the sort of different scenarios 260 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,280 in my head 261 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:41,000 like, sort of, you know what if she doesn't want me? 262 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,000 [scoffs] 263 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,640 you know what if... 264 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:44,640 what if... 265 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,480 she doesn't like the surprise? 266 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,520 What do you guys think? 267 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:11,040 [boy shouts] 268 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,720 There's a child! ha! 269 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:24,280 [child sneazes] 270 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,480 Football! 271 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,520 I'm just gonna.. 272 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,800 [knocks] 273 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:53,840 Alex!? 274 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,480 Hello Lana 275 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,760 [door slams] 276 00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,440 Shit! 277 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,760 [footsteps climbing stairs] 278 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,440 [door knock] 279 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,480 Lana 280 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:24,880 [door closes] 281 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:52,440 So, what made you join BridesRus.com? 282 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:02,640 Okay... Um... 283 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:07,480 Okay, what about love? Could you tell us what that means to you? 284 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:09,800 Love? 285 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,680 You want to know what love is?   286 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,600 Love is...    287 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,040 ...when you tell yourself... 288 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,280 ...I’ll go through anything... 289 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:23,600 ...I’ll risk everything... 290 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:28,320 ...because if I fall then someone will surely catch me. 291 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,080 And then you fall... 292 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,920 ...into the dirt outside. 293 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,960 Anything...else? 294 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:50,800 Love... 295 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,880 ...is when you say... 296 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,400 ..."How wonderful you are... 297 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,760 ...how much I would love to be with you... 298 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,120 ...how happy we would be together." 299 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,760 And someone else comes along... 300 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,560 ...just as good... 301 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,480 ...and takes them away. 302 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,360 And you end up with what’s left. 303 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,360 Less wonderful... 304 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,800 ...less good... 305 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,680 ...and why? 306 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:39,400 [Russian muttering] 307 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,240 [Russian muttering] 308 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,080 That's a nice top 309 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,040 Where did you get the top from? 310 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,600 Where's it from? 311 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,200 [Russian speaking] 312 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,360 [Russian speaking] 313 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:35,240 Where's Mr Marusva? 314 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:36,720 Mister? 315 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:38,960 What? 316 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,720 Mr Marusva? 317 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,800 Mister? Mister? Mister? Yes 318 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,120 Mister... [Russian word] 319 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:47,080 sorry? 320 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,040 [Russian word] 321 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,320 I've actually got an app 322 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:58,400 which I sometimes use with Lana, clever sort of invention 323 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,080 sometimes just say the word 324 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,040 and then it gives you the answer 325 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,080 so you can sort of 326 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,840 so if you can just say the word 327 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,040 so, Mister Marusva is... 328 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,880 [Russian word] 329 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:15,680 Ooh, where's the button.. 330 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,200 Dead 331 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,320 I learnt a few things about Moldova 332 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:37,120 Yeah so in Moldova there's lots of wine 333 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,520 Wine! 334 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:39,680 lots of wine... 335 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:40,600 Right! Yea 336 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:45,360 Everybody's drunk all the time 337 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:54,480 and that was it.. and it's funny because in Moldova there's the largest consumption of 338 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,120 alcohol per person 339 00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:59,000 in the whole world 340 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,440 in Moldova 341 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:04,040 so alcohol per person 342 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:09,720 so largest consumption in the whole country 343 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:12,800 Water? 344 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:22,880 That was it... it was one of the largest 345 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:24,720 or it used to be one of the largest 346 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,640 Jewish communities 347 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:27,640 in Moldova 348 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:28,840 What? 349 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,280 Lot's of jews! 350 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:33,840 used to be 351 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,120 used to be 352 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,880 He's... ...he's a foreigner. 353 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,240 Don't worry, don't worry. 354 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:18,520 [glass tapping] 355 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:36,280 Alex... 356 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:37,480 ...don't! 357 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:38,480 Alex! 358 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:39,840 Alex! 359 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,760 Lana... it makes me so proud 360 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,880 to think of the things 361 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:50,560 that we could do 362 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,440 together to show the whole world 363 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,600 that love 364 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,720 is not one 365 00:22:58,280 --> 00:22:59,960 but it's two 366 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,240 two people it takes 367 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:04,680 to be happy 368 00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:07,720 to look to a future 369 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,400 that's bright 370 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,600 you'll be my sun in the morning 371 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,080 and I'll be your moon in the night 372 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,760 we'll be like peas in a pod 373 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,560 but a pod with room for more peas 374 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,080 Lana 375 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,880 will you be my wife 376 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,360 everybody's looking, I feel sick 377 00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:39,200 can you please just say something? 378 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:16,160 [pathetic applause] 379 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:20,840 I'm going to the toilet. 380 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:21,840 Toilet? 381 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:23,920 Going to the toilet. 382 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,680 Lana, the bathroom is that way 383 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:33,280 [door closes] 384 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,680 Bathroom's that way 385 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:57,520 what I'm supposed to do now is put that on I think 386 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:09,160 [claps] 387 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:36,760 Yes, well it was all very strange. 388 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,880 He was okay at first. 389 00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:49,040 But to propose to me during dessert? 390 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:51,440 I mean really... 391 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,000 ...I tried to keep my composure... 392 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,880 ...in front of the guests. 393 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,880 Of course I would never have agreed to get married... 394 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:01,160 ...so quickly. 395 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:41,360 Yeah? A fun fact. 396 00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:56,840 Okay! Food time, here we go 397 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,760 Ooof look at that... 398 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:06,120 I call this chilli con Natalie 399 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,040 Eat up smells delicious 400 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,600 These are cute 401 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,120 woof woof woof woof woof 402 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,280 Watch out you might break them 403 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:36,440 Alright, did we have a bite? Food in your belly makes you happy 404 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,680 Let's play a game it's called guess the ingredients put it in your mouth have a bite 405 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,400 I'm not very good at that game 406 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:42,480 Have a bite 407 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:43,640 I'll help you out 408 00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:47,160 I'll help you out I'll give you a hand there's sausage in it 409 00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:49,480 sausage... 410 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,320 erm.... fenagreek 411 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:53,520 fena-what? 412 00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:00,200 Fish? 413 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:01,560 Fish?! 414 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:06,120 I just told you there's sausage why would you put fish in it? 415 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:08,800 Well I said I couldn't play this game I'm not very good at it 416 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,760 [phone buzzes] 417 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,600 It's a private number 418 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,200 Well answer it 419 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:17,600 Hello? 420 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:24,480 er.... hi Lana 421 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,560 erm... er... 422 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:30,720 er yes... she recognises my voice.. she knows it's me 423 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,520 That's because she called your phone 424 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,640 Yeah... I'm... er... I'm... 425 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,440 I'm good thank you 426 00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,760 erm.... er...... 427 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:45,400 Yes, I've got Natalie here to translate 428 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,920 so... yeah... 429 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,800 Lana, lana! 430 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:53,040 Hello? 431 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:54,720 Yes, hello? 432 00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,480 Yes, so...fine. 433 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,000 See you. Okay. 434 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:02,760 Okay, bye. 435 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:04,680 Bye. 436 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,840 What did she say? 437 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:10,680 what did she say? 438 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:14,480 Lana! What did she say?! 439 00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:15,720 when? 440 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:16,480 Just then! 441 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,280 Now! What did she say? 442 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:19,960 [laughs] 443 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:20,360 What? 444 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,400 She said she's coming 445 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,320 She's coming. She's coming here? 446 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,720 To see me? To England 447 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,120 To see me? To see you 448 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,440 I've gotta tell Charlie! I've gotta tell Charlie! Charlie! What are you doing?! 449 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,920 Charlie! Charlie Lana's coming, Lana's coming! Come back! 450 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,040 Charlie's dead! 451 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:40,160 Oh f***! It's a very funny line 452 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:41,520 But they fall in love 453 00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,040 And cause opposites attract 454 00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:45,600 you see because she was a big hollywood star 455 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:49,680 and he was just a person who owned a book shop in Notting Hill in London 456 00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,000 She just pops in.. he falls in love with her 457 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:53,280 but she wants something else 458 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,680 You see and it all works they come together and they fall in love 459 00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:58,720 "I wanted it to be you" 460 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,720 Let me start again cause my voice went... 461 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:02,720 "I wanted it to be you..." 462 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:04,840 and he comes and knocks on the door at Christmas time 463 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,880 and he says... he's got the cards like that 464 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,400 and he says "say it's carollers" 465 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:13,400 and she says to her husband "it's just carollers darling don't come down!" 466 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,640 and then he gets the next one and they all go and eventually he says 467 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:18,840 I sort of.. I love you 468 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:31,680 At the train station to pick up Lana 469 00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:35,840 I think.. I mean she is.. she's a bit late 470 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:40,760 that's the only thing.. she should be here pretty soon really 471 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,240 Last train just pulled in 472 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:08,440 I've checked all the passengers and there's no sign of Lana 473 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:17,480 I've just finished checking all the bathrooms as well the one on the left and the two down there 474 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,320 she hasn't even gone to the bathroom 475 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:29,680 There's not much point blocking the entrances and exits when she doesn't show up so... 476 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:33,120 So you know it's just one of those [Italian stranger cheers] 477 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:37,640 [Italian stranger waves hello] Sorry, sorry this is not the time 478 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,560 We're filming a documentary 479 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:40,920 so... 480 00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,640 Are you a couple? 481 00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:46,640 How long have you been together? 482 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,360 Do you speak English? 483 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:53,360 No 484 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,640 When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody 485 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:06,600 You want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible 486 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:21,120 [London underground announcement] 487 00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:36,360 [TV movie plays] 488 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:40,400 [doorbell rings] 489 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,760 [muttering] take my dressing gown off 490 00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,440 Flowers! 491 00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:13,080 this is the first day of my li.. 492 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:14,080 [door knocks] 493 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,840 Welcome! 494 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,080 Do the crew sleep here? 495 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,720 Do they sleep here? Sorry? 496 00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:30,040 Do they sleep here with you in the house? 497 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,040 You need to what sorry? 498 00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:34,520 Do they... You need.. 499 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:35,200 Do they.. 500 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,320 ...do they... You need to... 501 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:37,280 ...here... 502 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:38,960 ...sleep? You need to spurt 503 00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:40,640 Do they sleep here? 504 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:41,840 You need to spurt 505 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,560 you need to... you need to... 506 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,040 okay... 507 00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,000 Just give me two seconds 508 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,600 because I can actually just call 509 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:51,160 Natalie 510 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:55,840 So... sorry to keep you awake 511 00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:58,800 at this time.. I saw you sleeping through the window 512 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,360 if you could do some translating that'd be excellent 513 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:05,920 I'm trying to understand 'I need to spurt' 514 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:10,560 I need to spurt? 515 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:12,920 so erm... 516 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:14,440 yeah.. so erm.. 517 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,560 we've got the guest bedroom here 518 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:20,960 and then my bedroom is just up the stairs 519 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,080 just at the top 520 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,400 so it's... er... yeah.. 521 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,760 so guest bedroom and then it's erm.... 522 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:33,640 got the... my bedroom just at the top of these stairs 523 00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:39,120 that's a sensor so sometimes if you can be on the landing 524 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:43,920 just in case sometimes it can be a bit dangerous 525 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,920 you don't wanna sort of be up.. god it's hot isn't it 526 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:52,120 [doorbell rings] That's Natalie I think let me just... 527 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:53,920 Two seconds, two seconds Lana 528 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,520 Hi Natalie. Come in come in... 529 00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:01,520 How you doing? Come in, come in. 530 00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:02,880 I'm good, I'm good, I'm good Can't believe she actually came. 531 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,320 I know it's amazing, I'm very... Who's the little bag for? 532 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:05,520 Yeah this is for Ivan. 533 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:06,920 This is Ivan's...yeah. 534 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:08,000 He's her son. 535 00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:12,600 Hello. 536 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:16,040 You must be Lana. Oh...you speak Russian! 537 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:17,800 Yes I'm Natalya... 538 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,160 ...or Natalie. Oh of course, how lovely to meet you. 539 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,120 My pleasure. Lana, of course. I'm Lana. 540 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,480 We spoke on the phone. The telephone yes. 541 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,040 It's like we know each other now. Yes indeed we do! 542 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:28,560 So what I was just saying is we've got the guest bedroom in there 543 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,240 Then we've got my bedroom just at the top 544 00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:32,080 Alex is trying to say something. 545 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,400 He's talking, but I don't understand. 546 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,720 Yes I know, but my Russian is a bit so-so... 547 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:40,640 He just talks so fast, I can't understand. so it's the guest bedroom there if you could tell her 548 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:43,000 And then my bedroom is up... 549 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,600 This is the...the...um... 550 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,520 so that's the guest.. 551 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,520 The guest bedroom, you must be tired. Ah! Good. 552 00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:51,160 Alex. 553 00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:51,920 Alex. 554 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,280 I'll do it myself, Alex. 555 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,120 Yes that's a good idea. 556 00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,600 And my bedroom is just at the top of the stairs 557 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,320 that's guest and that's... 558 00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,520 Come, you can sleep in here. 559 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:07,680 So he can....yeah that's the... 560 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:08,960 ...for the guests... 561 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:10,840 ...to sleep. 562 00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:14,040 It's fine. How was the flight? 563 00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:18,640 Yes it was good but we got lost. Really? 564 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,640 So I'm actually gonna show you the actual door from Notting Hill 565 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,480 it's a blue door a big sort of blue door 566 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,640 I think it's.... 567 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,840 this one here 568 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:37,520 let me just move this rubbish because it looks a bit better 569 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:39,960 let's get this sort of trash out the way 570 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:43,400 so basically let me tell you this is where Hugh Grant's character William Thacker 571 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,920 lived for the film it's actually his actual house 572 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:48,280 and interestingly enough a fun fact 573 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,920 Richard Curtis is a writer of Notting Hill 574 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:52,760 and he lived here for the duration of the filming 575 00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,320 this was his house before that as well 576 00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,760 and another thing... orange juice... it's funny we have it 577 00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:01,960 basically Julia Roberts character Anna Scott 578 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,680 She gets it spilled on by William Thacker Do you want some? 579 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:05,440 Yes? 580 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:06,440 who's Hugh Grant 581 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:09,640 And it's quite a funny sort of moment in the film Shall we go? 582 00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:10,760 We're going to go to a cafe. 583 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:12,480 another fact about thre seasons as well 584 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:19,160 basically Hugh Grant walks through the street and it goes from Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring 585 00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:20,880 but it's actually filmed in one day 586 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:24,240 it's very clever, sort of, filmmaking 587 00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:27,200 It's nice! It's very good isn't it 588 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,640 I've got a quick homage to Love Actually 589 00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:36,920 you have to look at the cards 590 00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:42,080 Look at the cards They have such interesting taxis, right? 591 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,080 That's wrong... that's the wrong one... 592 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:45,600 that's not in the right place 593 00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:47,640 that is not in the right place hang on 594 00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:51,520 That's not in the right place cause that should be actually.. That's the Prime Minister's house. You want to have a look? 595 00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:52,560 That shouldn't be there... Let's go. Let's go. 596 00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:54,600 that.. 597 00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,840 Look, look. That's the Prime Minister's car. 598 00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:12,080 Imagine if they came out now. 599 00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:15,880 Quick, get a photo, quick photo 600 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,400 Ready? 1, 2, 3... 601 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,360 Look... er.. sorry... I just.. [phone buzzes] 602 00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:32,120 wanted.. it might be a really stupid question.. 603 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:33,840 erm...but.. er... 604 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:37,160 particularly in light of our recent shopping excursion 605 00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:41,040 I just wondered if ever.. by any chance 606 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:45,080 you might be..... er.... obviously not... 607 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,640 ..because I've only slept with nine people 608 00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:52,840 but to recap in a slightly sort of clearer version 609 00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,600 in the words of David Cassidy 610 00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:59,600 and while he was still with the Partridge family 611 00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,320 I think I love you... 612 00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,200 What are you on about...Alex? 613 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:13,240 Exactly.. but anyway that's what Hugh Grant says in 614 00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:16,280 Four Weddings and a Funeral which is filmed just over there by 615 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,000 by Waterloo bridge and when he professes his love to 616 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,640 Andy McDowall's character 617 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,720 it's what was in his speech 618 00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,160 Four Weddings... 619 00:39:26,240 --> 00:39:28,320 It's just filmed literally over there 620 00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:29,360 Ice cream? 621 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:30,320 You want ice cream? 622 00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:31,400 Let's go. Let's go. 623 00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:33,080 We're going for ice cream. 624 00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:34,280 Four Weddings.. 625 00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:48,320 a very sort of satisfying day... 626 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,160 [Russian speaking] 627 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,880 ...from Abba, don't do it again, no no no... 628 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:10,760 Anyway so I saw her and she stood by you know that famous 629 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,960 Egyptian statue you know the one with the massive.. hold on... 630 00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,440 where is he in bed? yea... 631 00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:16,680 the massive... [whistles] 632 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:21,680 And then he come up to me and said "oh look you must be standing next to my twin" 633 00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:24,000 I did like that though it was funny wasn't it? 634 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,480 He's hanndsome isn't he? 635 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:26,360 I try.. 636 00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:27,640 Billy big ba... oi! 637 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,080 You do don't you... 638 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:34,200 Don't get flush! 639 00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,600 What! No she likes a little bit of flash you know.. flash the cash.. 640 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:38,400 I flash the cash, she flash the gash you know... 641 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:39,480 [laughing] 642 00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:41,720 Something like that wasn't it...but anyway seriously... 643 00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:43,240 I thought I'd get her number d'you know what I mean? 644 00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:45,120 so I pushed her in the corner 645 00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:48,160 and I said to her "oi I'm gonna get your number" 646 00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,160 "I wanna take you out for a drink or a little bit" 647 00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,120 She likes a bit of Italian eh? 648 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,000 She likes a bit of Italian she's Irish what you talking about? 649 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,600 Nah I'm joking... she loves it! 650 00:40:58,120 --> 00:40:59,840 but no... I'll tell you what... 651 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:01,640 she's a fox your mum mate 652 00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,920 he thinks I'm a fox.. a sexy fox darling 653 00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:05,800 Well you're not. 654 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,800 I didn't say sexy... they're the ones who put shit in the garden 655 00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:10,040 [laughs] 656 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:13,480 actually I dunno... foxes you know what I mean? 657 00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:18,400 even better when they're on all fours.. [howling] 658 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,480 Nah seriously look at her legs. I have.. not bad 659 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:24,240 Been there... done it... so has he! 660 00:41:24,240 --> 00:41:26,400 You're not a fox are you Mum 661 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,800 That's not very nice is it come on! 662 00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:33,760 Lighten up just cause you haven't had a girlfriend for twenty years 663 00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:35,240 Sorry about that.. 664 00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:36,440 Nineteen and a half.. 665 00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:37,360 makes no difference.. 666 00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,320 Nineteen and a half years Mum... 667 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,080 Go on tell them the story... 668 00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:42,080 Go on... 669 00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:45,360 Don't be shy I wanna hear it come on son let's have it 670 00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:48,480 My girlfriend when I was eleven and a half 671 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:52,200 and we were playing in the playground and we were in love 672 00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:56,480 by the way... ...playing in the playground and my friend actually sort of.. 673 00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:59,320 pushed her over and I went to help her 674 00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:03,400 and her hair was actually caught under the fence 675 00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,560 and I hoiked her up I tried to help her up 676 00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:10,680 but unfortunately half her scalf came clean off 677 00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:14,000 at the time but Mum I've said this before 678 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:15,440 we were in love 679 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:16,720 and it was a mistake 680 00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:20,120 Lighten up babe, lighten up.... 681 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,760 Anyway who wants some pudding some spotted dick? 682 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:23,600 Ooh hello 683 00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:24,600 Spotted dick? 684 00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,760 Two portions of dick over here one for later! 685 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:28,040 hold the spots! 686 00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:30,480 [text message ringtone] 687 00:42:40,240 --> 00:42:43,000 Sorry, we just wanted to ask you a question. 688 00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:46,680 Alright. 689 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,760 Since we haven't had a chance to speak to you, we were just wondering... 690 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,560 What made you come to London? 691 00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,320 To marry Alex. 692 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:09,480 [door creaks open] 693 00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,400 I'll show you. Go on. 694 00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:31,200 But you can't laugh. Go on. 695 00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:32,360 You can't laugh. 696 00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:34,000 What's that? 697 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:36,840 What happened? Did you cut it off? 698 00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:37,640 I know. 699 00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:39,280 It looks like a toe. It's bad, I know. 700 00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:40,520 Wine for the ladies.. 701 00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:42,160 Oh thank you 702 00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:43,680 there we go.. 703 00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,640 All ladies love wine True, thank you 704 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:50,040 Especially all that will get very tipsy 705 00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:53,480 remember what I was saying about Moldova and the facts about lots of wine 706 00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:57,720 everyone was drunk.. No just don't.. it's not a good story 707 00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:01,600 Okay shall we do something? 708 00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:03,560 Huh? 709 00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:07,240 A game. Charades! Charades... 710 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:09,120 Film.. film... 711 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:11,600 Two words 712 00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:13,640 First word 713 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:15,760 burning.. 714 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:17,080 Iron, Iron, Iron. 715 00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:18,360 Iron, Iron. 716 00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:19,720 er.. 717 00:44:19,720 --> 00:44:20,520 erm... 718 00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:21,360 Hair... Thug. 719 00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:24,240 sort of very... Hitler! 720 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:26,240 Boobs... Tits. 721 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:28,240 boobs and... 722 00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:29,040 Willy? 723 00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:31,120 Dick? 724 00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:32,600 Dick. 725 00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:33,560 Penis. 726 00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:35,360 Penis... nothing 727 00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:37,160 Penis. Dogs... 728 00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:40,880 big strong.. 729 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:42,040 Willy. 730 00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:43,720 Penis, penis. 731 00:44:43,720 --> 00:44:44,240 penis 732 00:44:44,240 --> 00:44:45,920 Penis, penis. 733 00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:47,000 penis 734 00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:50,240 First word, number one word 735 00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:51,120 ironing 736 00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:52,280 Ironing. Ironing? 737 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:53,760 it's not Nazis? 738 00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:57,040 Ironwoman... Ironman! 739 00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:00,960 [cheering] 740 00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:02,160 Sleep. 741 00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:06,320 Yeah I did... no talking... 742 00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:08,320 hey! 743 00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,120 ahhhh... third word 744 00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:14,400 No sleep? 745 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:15,400 No sleep? 746 00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:17,040 No sleep. 747 00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,440 [whispering] Seattle Seattle! 748 00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:23,360 Sleepless in Seattle! 749 00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:25,680 Sleepless in Seattle, yes 750 00:45:26,720 --> 00:45:27,720 My favourite film 751 00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:31,360 [whispers] shark Yeah shark... 752 00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:32,960 Jaws! Jaws! 753 00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:34,560 [squeals] 754 00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:37,360 Well done 755 00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:45,920 so this is quite a traditional dish shepherd's pie 756 00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:48,240 but the problem is it's an interesting fact actually because 757 00:45:48,240 --> 00:45:51,240 a lot of people misunderstand shepherd's pie because 758 00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:53,120 it's supposed to be with lamb but 759 00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:56,360 a lot of people actually mistakenly do it with beef 760 00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,600 which is wrong it should be with lamb all the time 761 00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:04,720 and in fact it was invented in Scotland 762 00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:06,320 Scotland... 763 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:09,680 Scottish people? Erm.. 764 00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:11,760 [in Scottish accnet] Scottish! 765 00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:15,520 Scottish! 766 00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:16,880 Crazy! 767 00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:18,200 Oh God! 768 00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:21,160 that's Scottish people 769 00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:24,120 quite.. can be quite crazy yes 770 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:30,520 but they're very nice people once you get to know them 771 00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:34,040 start by chopping the carrots 772 00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:37,760 good to be getting on with.. 773 00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,040 [shreaks] 774 00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:43,160 Mouse! 775 00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:44,000 Mouse, mouse. 776 00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:45,000 What was that? 777 00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,280 Mouse, mouse? 778 00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:49,040 Mouse. 779 00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:53,360 Where was it? 780 00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:54,280 There, there. 781 00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:55,760 Where was it sort of over here? 782 00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:57,760 No, right there! 783 00:46:57,760 --> 00:46:59,560 They've got sort of little nashers 784 00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:00,480 Little teeth 785 00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:01,240 Catch it. 786 00:47:01,240 --> 00:47:09,320 And I think that don't know about the South of England but sometimes if they latch onto you 787 00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:11,800 their jaws just lock 788 00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:13,760 and they don't let go until the bone is.. 789 00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:16,320 Faster, faster, faster! 790 00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,920 ..but I think that's just.. I think I can see him so... 791 00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:40,280 He was there but I saw him run so I sort of came in 792 00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:45,080 and hit him on the head a few times with the broom so I think he 793 00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:48,920 .....he should be gone 794 00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:52,520 One would.. well one would hope that he's... 795 00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:54,480 [screams] 796 00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:55,720 Mama! 797 00:47:59,720 --> 00:48:01,440 I've got him this time 798 00:48:01,720 --> 00:48:02,800 There, there, there it is. 799 00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:04,160 In the corner. 800 00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:08,920 exactly the same place as last time 801 00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:10,440 [thump thump thump] 802 00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:01,200 You know... 803 00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:05,120 They say there is an ideal partner... 804 00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:07,240 ...and an ideal relationship. 805 00:49:07,240 --> 00:49:09,040 The ideal partner... 806 00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:12,160 ...is often very attractive, intriguing, and... 807 00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:14,640 ...exciting. 808 00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:16,760 But it doesn't last long. 809 00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:19,640 They'll leave you... 810 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,080 ...for no reason. 811 00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:24,360 But the ideal relationship... 812 00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:26,840 ...can sometimes be boring... 813 00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:29,760 ...and predictable. 814 00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:32,400 At least the partner... 815 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:34,520 ...will be on your side... 816 00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:38,520 ...and he genuinely wants the best for you. 817 00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:43,840 You know, the ideal partner...is like... 818 00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:45,240 ...candy. 819 00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:49,600 While the ideal relationship is like broccoli. 820 00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:51,880 You understand? 821 00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:24,280 [sleep grunt] 822 00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:33,520 Lana? 823 00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:40,080 Lana? 824 00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:48,720 Did you lose your ring? 825 00:50:55,160 --> 00:51:01,400 I sometimes lose it actually sometimes I have it on the bedside table and... 826 00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:06,080 on the side by the side of the bed and it falls into the gap 827 00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:10,880 that's understandable I think sometimes... yeah.. 828 00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:15,000 that's normal or it falls between the two mattresses 829 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:19,840 a friend sometimes he has sort of two bits of mattresses because he has two single.. 830 00:52:05,240 --> 00:52:07,800 So you say what's the time? 831 00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:08,560 What's the time? 832 00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:09,440 correct 833 00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:11,080 Mr Wolf 834 00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:15,560 Mr Wolf and altogether.. what's the time Mr Wolf 835 00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,280 What's the time Mr Wolf 836 00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:18,120 very good 837 00:52:18,720 --> 00:52:20,640 whenever you're ready 838 00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:22,600 What's the time Mr Wolf 839 00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:24,720 it's two o'clock 840 00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:33,520 okay and then you have to tell me what the time is again say "what's the time Mr Wolf?" 841 00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,000 What's the time Mr Wolf? 842 00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,360 Two o'clock again 843 00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:39,360 two o'clock again... 844 00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:41,040 Say what's the time Mr Wolf 845 00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:42,480 What's the time Mr Wolf? 846 00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:46,400 Dinner time! 847 00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:07,760 We'll go again because it was a bit rusty the first time 848 00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:10,960 so we'll go again because it takes some time to get used to it 849 00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:12,160 wait for Ivan 850 00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:19,240 Very good, very good at the game. For a beginner... thumbs up 851 00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:21,960 Hey Alex, oi! 852 00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:26,800 Did he say something about a wedding? 853 00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:29,440 Yes he said the 13th.  854 00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:32,720 Since you're here and Ivan is here... 855 00:53:32,720 --> 00:53:36,520 ...he's going to organise the wedding. 856 00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:39,360 But he hasn't bought anything yet? 857 00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:40,560 Alex? 858 00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:49,200 Remember what were you saying Natalie I think you were saying an arch 859 00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:52,520 have an arch and just sort of decorate it remember you were saying 860 00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:54,800 that was quite an interesting idea 861 00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:56,040 Arch? 862 00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:58,040 Alex, did you really buy an arch? What did I suggest? Arch? 863 00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,000 I didn't talk about any arch... 864 00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:02,200 Alex, did you really? 865 00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:04,840 The priest... 866 00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:07,440 ...he'll know where to stand regardless. 867 00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:08,840 We'll show him. 868 00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:11,280 We'll tell him stand here... 869 00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:12,200 ...priest! 870 00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:17,360 Did you get that? The priest will know where to stand 871 00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:19,080 you don't... we'll show him 872 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:23,640 Of course he'll know where to stand.. was Natalie's idea 873 00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:29,200 well of course he'll know he's done weddings before.. simple, we'll keep it as simple as possible 874 00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:30,200 Alex? 875 00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:32,080 So, what else? 876 00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:33,400 What else? 877 00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:35,760 What else did you order? 878 00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:37,480 Translate for him. 879 00:54:37,720 --> 00:54:38,720 Anything else? 880 00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:44,520 Yes, no? 881 00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:46,040 Alex? 882 00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:46,960 No. 883 00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:49,520 Wedding dress? 884 00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:50,960 No. No. 885 00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:52,160 I won't wear it. 886 00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:53,840 You understand? Do you know 'net'? 887 00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:56,160 Alex listen. 888 00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:57,120 Listen. 889 00:54:57,120 --> 00:54:58,360 Listen. 890 00:54:58,360 --> 00:54:59,160 Alex. 891 00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:02,440 If you want a wedding dress... 892 00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:06,120 then you...can be the bride. 893 00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:10,680 If you want the wedding dress then you're going to be the bride 894 00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:13,000 I'm the bride! 895 00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:14,200 You're the bride 896 00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:15,600 there we go You'll be... 897 00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:16,640 ...the bride. 898 00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:17,640 because I'm the bride.. 899 00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:23,040 You can wear a t-shirt, we can wear t-shirts... no dresses 900 00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:24,440 just t-shirt 901 00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:27,640 and you can wear.. in fact I can just wear a t-shirt 902 00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:29,680 just like this I'll wear this 903 00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:32,320 short sleeved.. it's a nice day... 904 00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:44,640 [ It's so important to make someone happy ] 905 00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:48,880 [ Make just one someobody happy ] 906 00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:52,720 [ Make just one heart to heart you... ] 907 00:55:52,720 --> 00:55:56,800 [...you care for ] 908 00:55:56,800 --> 00:56:01,200 [A smile that cheers you] 909 00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:05,160 [A face that lights when near you] 910 00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:11,240 [Then love could possibly find you... ] 911 00:56:11,240 --> 00:56:12,960 [doorbell rings] 912 00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:26,320 [door closes] 913 00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:43,360 Look what your friend's gone and done. 914 00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:45,560 I told him... 915 00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:49,120 ...no dress, no dress, no. 916 00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:50,840 And this is what he bought. 917 00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:51,920 What is this? 918 00:56:58,480 --> 00:56:59,440 Ivan? 919 00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:01,880 Let's go. 920 00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:05,600 [door slams] 921 00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:09,640 Ta-da! 922 00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:28,320 Oh, shit. 923 00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:31,800 What are you doing here? 924 00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:33,120 I recognise you. 925 00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:36,520 What, are you following me everywhere? 926 00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:38,200 I'm going to... 927 00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:39,880 ...break your camera. 928 00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:41,880 Get out of here! 929 00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:47,120  Actually, you know what? 930 00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:50,600 Drive me... 931 00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:52,080 ...like a taxi. 932 00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:53,240 Drive... 933 00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:54,240 ...me. 934 00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:55,680 Drive... 935 00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:57,600 ...Drive me! 936 00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:12,240 well er.... no one's answering 937 00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:13,240 erm... 938 00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:15,760 I mean I... 939 00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:18,960 I guess I should've told her about the surprise party 940 00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:23,680 that's a bit annoying really 941 00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:33,800 Stop, stop stop! 942 01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:06,240 Open the door! 943 01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:09,680 I said open the door! 944 01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:11,760 Oh it’s you! 945 01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:17,440 You lied to me...you're married? Keep your voice down, I'll get you a taxi. 946 01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:19,160 Does she even know? 947 01:00:19,160 --> 01:00:20,160 Let go of me! 948 01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:21,240 Let go of me! I'll call you a taxi...I'll call you a taxi. 949 01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:22,320 What taxi? 950 01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:24,480 Will you let go? How could you bring Ivan with you? 951 01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:25,600 Let go of me! 952 01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:29,200 You'd better take your hands off me or else. 953 01:00:29,200 --> 01:00:32,720 Just get in the car... get in the car 954 01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:38,520 You really are an asshole you know? Just get in the car 955 01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:40,160 Why? Get in the car.. 956 01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:46,680 Listen go home get over it, I never loved you okay? 957 01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:49,960 And don't show up like this or I'll call the police 958 01:00:51,200 --> 01:00:52,200 Asshole! 959 01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:57,160 Asshole. 960 01:00:57,440 --> 01:01:00,320 Asshole. Asshole. Asshole. 961 01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:01,920 Asshole. 962 01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:03,240 Asshole. 963 01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:05,080 Asshole. 964 01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:06,000 Asshole. 965 01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:07,520 Asshole. 966 01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:08,480 Asshole. 967 01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:09,680 Asshole. 968 01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:24,440 Are you okay? 969 01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:45,480 Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to welcome you all. 970 01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:48,160 What a beautiful celebration. 971 01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:50,320 A family occasion. 972 01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:54,000 Can somebody call the police?
How come you never invited us to this special family gathering? 973 01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:57,720 [Ivan] take whatever you want. Get off me! Come on! 974 01:01:57,720 --> 01:02:01,080 I would like to introduce myself. 975 01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,160 I'm the mistress... 976 01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:06,320 ...and this is the wife. 977 01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:07,680 Prostitute. 978 01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:10,120 I am the prostitute? 979 01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:11,640 I am? 980 01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:14,240 [Text message tone] 981 01:02:19,200 --> 01:02:20,440 Oh it's a text from Ivan.. 982 01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:23,280 [Text message tone] 983 01:02:24,520 --> 01:02:25,520 [shouts] I got.. I got.. 984 01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:27,560 [shouts] I got a text from Ivan! 985 01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:29,760 A text from Ivan! 986 01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:30,520 [Text message tone] 987 01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:12,040 Well there's no answer 988 01:03:12,040 --> 01:03:15,840 He says he needs me somewhere 989 01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:18,200 He doesn't ever text me either 990 01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:20,120 starting to get worried now 991 01:03:20,480 --> 01:03:24,840 Actually Jim from the other crew he's with her now 992 01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:29,880 How do you guys always sort of get around so quickly? 993 01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:30,760 All over the place 994 01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:31,760 Cars. 995 01:03:31,760 --> 01:03:34,720 Shouldn't we get going? 996 01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:36,280 Yes.. yea.. well 997 01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:38,480 Tell you what Natalie can drive me 998 01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:40,440 So yea, I'll need to get going now, yea.. 999 01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:46,440 What are you doing? 1000 01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:50,160 There's a door here.. 1001 01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:52,240 Yeah I know that I was trying to be soft 1002 01:03:58,520 --> 01:04:01,280 Woah woah woah what's going on? Calm down. 1003 01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:03,760 Let go of my son. Let go of my son! And who are you? 1004 01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:05,640 and what the hell are all these cameras for? 1005 01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:09,160 Oh thank god you're here. I'm Alex Clough It was a rhetorical question 1006 01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:11,240 I can't believe you actually answered 1007 01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:13,400 Get the f*** out of my house all of you He's crazy you know. 1008 01:04:13,400 --> 01:04:15,720 I don't want to see you here when I get back 1009 01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:17,120 Is that clear? 1010 01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:20,560 Is that clear? 1011 01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:22,800 Yep Good. 1012 01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:26,320 Are you okay? 1013 01:04:26,320 --> 01:04:30,400 Did he upset you? 1014 01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:38,320 Ivan 1015 01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:40,080 let's go 1016 01:04:40,080 --> 01:04:42,840 excuse me.. 1017 01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:02,800 Say you're sorry 1018 01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:05,880 Are you f***ing stupid? 1019 01:05:06,600 --> 01:05:07,880 Apologise to Ivan 1020 01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:10,440 you can't do that to a child 1021 01:05:10,600 --> 01:05:12,160 especially not on his Birthday 1022 01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:13,560 or what? 1023 01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:15,120 What are you gonna do? 1024 01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:24,240 Look! 1025 01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:33,120 It took my three days to bake that cake 1026 01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:35,360 Oh I’ll show you... 1027 01:05:35,360 --> 01:05:38,360 ...what a cake! 1028 01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:41,040 You’ll get it! 1029 01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:43,840 You old goat! Old goat! 1030 01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:45,320 Old goat! 1031 01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:55,880 Let this be a lesson to everyone 1032 01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:04,240 All of you go! 1033 01:06:04,560 --> 01:06:09,240 Go, go, leave it! 1034 01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:13,240 Just get out! Get out! 1035 01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:15,480 What's going on? 1036 01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:17,560 It's not at all how it looks... Natalie please.. what's going on? 1037 01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:20,440 Alex listen I should have told you sooner... 1038 01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:22,800 ...but I couldn't because we didn't have the time. 1039 01:06:22,800 --> 01:06:24,280 I didn't even know how to do it. Natalie please can you translate? 1040 01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:26,640 Alex it’s not at all what you think. 1041 01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:28,520 Oh please, Natasha help me! 1042 01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:30,240 Lana what do you want me to say? 1043 01:06:30,240 --> 01:06:32,080 Do you want me to tell him everything? 1044 01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:34,120 Natalie.. 1045 01:06:34,640 --> 01:06:36,160 please tell me what's going on, please... 1046 01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:42,440 Right Alex this guy Jasper she's been seeing him on and off 1047 01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:45,080 before you two started chatting 1048 01:06:45,440 --> 01:06:48,360 but she broke up with him after she met you 1049 01:06:48,360 --> 01:06:50,520 so it's done now, it's finished. 1050 01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:51,840 No, before I met him. 1051 01:06:51,840 --> 01:06:54,440 no, before she met you 1052 01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:56,080 Alex, listen to me. 1053 01:06:56,120 --> 01:06:57,720 We broke up... Alex listen. 1054 01:06:57,720 --> 01:06:58,640 They broke up before she met you 1055 01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:01,920 We broke up before I met you. 1056 01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:06,040 Then I came here and he started texting me. Then she came here he started texting her 1057 01:07:06,040 --> 01:07:09,560 Then he asked me to meet him in a car park. Then he took her to a car park 1058 01:07:09,560 --> 01:07:12,360 And then...and then we went to McDonald's. the other night.. 1059 01:07:12,360 --> 01:07:16,720 And then, I don't know... I just came here because he didn't show. they wanted to see where they stand. Anyway Alex.. 1060 01:07:16,760 --> 01:07:18,440 Understand? Don't listen, Alex listen listen listen 1061 01:07:18,440 --> 01:07:22,440 Alex...I...I...I don't even love him. It's done now it's done now 1062 01:07:22,480 --> 01:07:24,000 Alex. Woah, hey.. 1063 01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:26,440 Breathe.. don't do that 1064 01:07:26,440 --> 01:07:27,440 Alex. 1065 01:07:27,440 --> 01:07:28,720 Don't do the heavy breathing 1066 01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:30,040 Alex let's just relax alright 1067 01:07:30,760 --> 01:07:32,320 Let's go home. 1068 01:07:32,320 --> 01:07:33,680 Just breathe normally 1069 01:07:33,680 --> 01:07:34,640 Let’s all just go home. 1070 01:07:34,640 --> 01:07:35,800 Yeah let's all just go home 1071 01:07:35,800 --> 01:07:36,880 It's Ivan's birthday. 1072 01:07:36,880 --> 01:07:38,280 Let's just have some tea. 1073 01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:39,440 I'll explain everything. 1074 01:07:39,440 --> 01:07:42,320 Alex, I haven’t loved him for a long time. 1075 01:07:42,320 --> 01:07:44,200 He’s not even a nice guy. 1076 01:07:44,360 --> 01:07:45,440 Tell him. 1077 01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:47,360 Yeah, Alex... 1078 01:07:47,360 --> 01:07:49,440 it's over now it's finished 1079 01:07:49,840 --> 01:07:50,360 right? 1080 01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:51,800 you're here 1081 01:07:52,040 --> 01:07:53,680 it's done now, you're a good man 1082 01:07:54,040 --> 01:07:55,840 let's just go home 1083 01:08:05,160 --> 01:08:06,000 [Ivan sneezes] 1084 01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:07,920 Bless you Ivan 1085 01:08:15,040 --> 01:08:18,040 He didn't even ask her anything 1086 01:08:18,040 --> 01:08:20,720 It's just like.. 1087 01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:23,760 he's a bit fixated in some.. 1088 01:08:24,640 --> 01:08:25,920 ...weird 1089 01:08:25,920 --> 01:08:28,040 delusional pattern of 1090 01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:29,880 how things are supposed to go 1091 01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:31,480 no? 1092 01:08:33,320 --> 01:08:34,600 It's a bit strange 1093 01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:35,760 I'm not correcting him 1094 01:08:35,760 --> 01:08:39,760 I just think he's I mean at the end of the day he's a good guy 1095 01:08:42,640 --> 01:08:45,080 I mean he's f****d up a little bit 1096 01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:55,960 Jesus, aren't you bored already? Why don't you just go to bed? 1097 01:10:57,360 --> 01:10:58,760 Come on. 1098 01:10:58,760 --> 01:11:00,760 Let's go in. 1099 01:14:07,760 --> 01:14:10,480 How did you find me? 1100 01:14:13,560 --> 01:14:17,360 I'm sorry, Alex. 1101 01:14:18,480 --> 01:14:22,960 I'm not very good with words 1102 01:14:22,960 --> 01:14:28,680 so I wrote a poem... 1103 01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:31,600 to express my feelings. 1104 01:14:36,320 --> 01:14:38,440 Lana 1105 01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:42,480 when my eyes first met yours 1106 01:14:44,040 --> 01:14:46,160 on my computer screen 1107 01:14:46,600 --> 01:14:48,320 I looked at you 1108 01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:50,840 and you looked at me 1109 01:14:51,600 --> 01:14:54,600 with nothing in between 1110 01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:00,120 then you agreed to be my wife 1111 01:15:01,840 --> 01:15:03,920 and come to live with me 1112 01:15:04,680 --> 01:15:08,440 so you set off from distant lands 1113 01:15:10,720 --> 01:15:12,800 across a distant sea 1114 01:15:13,400 --> 01:15:16,760 [passing driver swears] 1115 01:15:16,760 --> 01:15:22,560 I know that you came on aero-flight but I always imagined it as a boat 1116 01:15:22,560 --> 01:15:26,320 sort of more romantic 1117 01:15:27,080 --> 01:15:31,120 and you were at the front like Kate Winslet 1118 01:15:31,120 --> 01:15:33,240 except I wasn't there 1119 01:15:35,840 --> 01:15:41,080 I realise I might have been too hasty with my love 1120 01:15:41,720 --> 01:15:48,680 I should have guessed that you were not so sure of the above 1121 01:15:49,400 --> 01:15:53,960 but I still hope you'd be with me 1122 01:15:54,440 --> 01:15:57,280 and we would build a home 1123 01:15:57,440 --> 01:15:59,960 but then you 1124 01:16:03,480 --> 01:16:06,920 then you stabbed my dreams in the back 1125 01:16:06,920 --> 01:16:11,600 when you met your ex in some stupid car park 1126 01:16:16,800 --> 01:16:17,600 Alex. 1127 01:16:17,600 --> 01:16:19,400 Alex, where are you going? 1128 01:16:20,600 --> 01:16:23,280 Alex, wait! 1129 01:16:40,640 --> 01:16:43,160 When I was young other kids 1130 01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:46,800 used to have posters of Superman and Rocket on their wall 1131 01:16:48,400 --> 01:16:51,000 I had Hugh Grant and Tom Hanks 1132 01:16:51,760 --> 01:16:54,760 I just wanted to be that guy in the rom-coms 1133 01:16:55,560 --> 01:16:57,600 but then I realised 1134 01:16:57,800 --> 01:16:59,880 those guys aren't even that guy 1135 01:17:03,280 --> 01:17:06,720 Did she betray me and have a secret boyfriend the whole time? 1136 01:17:07,320 --> 01:17:09,040 Absolutely, yeah. 1137 01:17:09,840 --> 01:17:13,760 Did it crush my heart into a hundred pieces? Yeh. 1138 01:17:14,480 --> 01:17:16,760 but even with all the confusion 1139 01:17:16,760 --> 01:17:18,320 and the misunderstandings 1140 01:17:18,440 --> 01:17:21,120 and the secret boyfriends and kids 1141 01:17:21,120 --> 01:17:22,640 and the shouting and 1142 01:17:22,960 --> 01:17:25,240 the not understanding most of what she said 1143 01:17:25,240 --> 01:17:26,920 even in spite of all that 1144 01:17:27,320 --> 01:17:29,520 I'd rather have experienced something real 1145 01:17:30,160 --> 01:17:33,960 if looking for love leads you to reciting poetry 1146 01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:35,000 to a beautiful woman 1147 01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:36,600 badly in your pants 1148 01:17:36,920 --> 01:17:40,120 in the middle of the city at three o'clock in the morning 1149 01:17:40,120 --> 01:17:40,920 you know.. 1150 01:17:41,840 --> 01:17:43,560 maybe you've done something right? 1151 01:18:31,280 --> 01:18:34,640 Don't have your sights set too high 1152 01:18:34,640 --> 01:18:35,400 No 1153 01:18:35,400 --> 01:18:38,080 because if you have your sights set too high 1154 01:18:38,080 --> 01:18:40,360 then I don't think you'll find anything 1155 01:18:40,880 --> 01:18:42,640 But you'll know when it happens 1156 01:18:43,440 --> 01:18:45,520 I would say the most cliché thing ever but 1157 01:18:45,520 --> 01:18:48,440 but love, relationship is actually like a designer clothe 1158 01:18:48,560 --> 01:18:50,120 if it doesn't really fit you 1159 01:18:50,600 --> 01:18:51,840 it's a disaster 1160 01:18:52,760 --> 01:18:54,560 Whatever it is just talk about it 1161 01:18:54,560 --> 01:18:56,880 And if you can't talk about it go to therapy 1162 01:18:58,080 --> 01:18:59,160 [He laughs] Cause that helps 1163 01:18:59,560 --> 01:19:00,560 You laugh!!? 1164 01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:02,440 Yeah we are still together 1165 01:19:03,360 --> 01:19:06,040 I mean you can't afford a divorce can you? 1166 01:19:06,040 --> 01:19:08,840 I couldn't afford a divorce so that's... 1167 01:19:08,840 --> 01:19:10,240 Yes that's another thing 1168 01:19:10,240 --> 01:19:10,720 yea.. 1169 01:20:21,040 --> 01:20:23,160 What's her name your sister? What? Hmm? 1170 01:20:23,200 --> 01:20:24,680 Your sister? 1171 01:20:24,960 --> 01:20:26,440 Well erm.. .my sister well.. 1172 01:20:26,440 --> 01:20:28,000 is.. erm... Anna 1173 01:20:28,000 --> 01:20:30,840 Anna Barbara 1174 01:20:31,560 --> 01:20:35,320 Anna Barbara.. which one sorry both or? Sorry? 1175 01:20:36,680 --> 01:20:37,840 Oh I see erm.. 1176 01:20:38,640 --> 01:20:41,640 Well its quite a complicated story.. 1177 01:20:41,640 --> 01:20:44,120 ..originally they were born sort of er.. 1178 01:20:44,120 --> 01:20:45,120 sort of.. 1179 01:20:45,120 --> 01:20:46,720 siamese 1180 01:20:46,720 --> 01:20:48,360 conjoined twins 1181 01:20:48,360 --> 01:20:50,280 Anna was obviously fully formed 1182 01:20:50,280 --> 01:20:51,280 whereas... [laughter] 1183 01:20:51,280 --> 01:20:57,840 [laughing] 1184 01:20:58,120 --> 01:21:00,800 we'll get it we'll get it we'll get it... 1185 01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:05,240 Barbara was just the... 1186 01:21:05,240 --> 01:21:07,440 [director] I'm sorry.. 1187 01:21:07,440 --> 01:21:11,120 so it's quite a complicated story because obviously what 1188 01:21:11,120 --> 01:21:13,080 I don't know if you know but they were born 1189 01:21:13,080 --> 01:21:14,080 erm... 1190 01:21:15,760 --> 01:21:17,440 [laughter] 1191 01:21:17,440 --> 01:21:21,680 Well it's a complicated story with Anna Barbara obviously because they were born... 1192 01:21:21,680 --> 01:21:23,000 siamese.. 1193 01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:24,880 conjoined twins I think it was 1194 01:21:24,880 --> 01:21:26,720 so obviously Anna was fully formed 1195 01:21:26,760 --> 01:21:29,560 [laughter] 1196 01:21:29,560 --> 01:21:31,200 [Director] I'm sorry.. 1197 01:21:32,840 --> 01:21:35,600 Anna was fully formed... 1198 01:21:36,160 --> 01:21:39,040 okay I'll go from Anna was fully formed.. 1199 01:21:41,480 --> 01:21:49,240 [laughter] 1200 01:21:49,520 --> 01:21:52,600 Yeah I'll do that.. [director] Anna was fully formed 1201 01:21:52,600 --> 01:21:55,240 [director] and Barbara.. 
and Barbara was just sort of.. 1202 01:21:56,600 --> 01:21:58,240 Okay I'm gonna get this one 1203 01:21:59,680 --> 01:22:02,680 Well it's quite a complicated story cause.. 1204 01:22:02,680 --> 01:22:05,160 Anna was fully... fully formed... okay 1205 01:22:05,520 --> 01:22:10,280 it's quite a complicated story because actually Anna was actually fully formed.. 1206 01:22:10,280 --> 01:22:11,240 at birth.. 1207 01:22:11,240 --> 01:22:13,520 however Barbara was 1208 01:22:14,680 --> 01:22:15,880 unfortunately just a head 1209 01:22:15,880 --> 01:22:20,840 [laughter] 1210 01:22:20,840 --> 01:22:24,520 Well sort of siamese conjoined twins.. erm.. 1211 01:22:24,520 --> 01:22:27,560 ..when they were born.. anyway, so.. 1212 01:22:27,560 --> 01:22:30,040 ..Anna, born fully formed 1213 01:22:30,040 --> 01:22:34,960 ..but unfortunately Barbara was simply a head.. 1214 01:22:35,800 --> 01:22:39,840 and it's rather unfortunate because.. 1215 01:22:39,840 --> 01:22:42,240 .. first few weeks of birth.. 1216 01:22:42,240 --> 01:22:44,320 both survived excellently.. 1217 01:22:44,320 --> 01:22:48,320 however Barbara became ever so slowly absorbed 1218 01:22:48,320 --> 01:22:51,360 first the mouth sort of disappeared 1219 01:22:51,360 --> 01:22:53,200 sort of elongated.. 1220 01:22:53,200 --> 01:22:54,680 ..and then the nostrils they sort of.. 1221 01:22:54,680 --> 01:22:55,680 went. 1222 01:22:55,680 --> 01:22:58,680 anyway so she ended up sort of.. 1223 01:22:59,080 --> 01:23:01,440 ..just a little face.. 78534

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