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and may contain m(gentle guitar music)

- I just, I just don't think I can do it this year.

I can't.

No, no, I can't.

No, no, I can't.

Daria, you just don't get it.

Daria, you just don't get it.

You have the gallery, you have Kira.

Every year, my family just tortures me

for still being single.

Oh, no, no, it'll be a million times worse

with my brother getting married in the spring.

(groans) I can't even compete, I got nothing.

Of course I still have you. You know I didn't mean that.

- [Daria] Are you hiding out in a blanket fort?

- [Jane] No, I am not hiding out in a blanket fort.

What am I, five?

- You've left a whole telephone cord of evidence, Jane.

Are you gonna come out, or do I have to follow this travesty

to the source?

- Daria, I would like to be the first person to tell you,

I'm hiding out in a blanket fort.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Okay, scoot over, I'm comin' in.

Okay.

Now, tell me what's going on.

- (sighs) I just,

I just feel like everyone I know

is just making these huge steps forward,

and I just keep falling backwards.

I used to have my job to sort of deflect focus,

but then the tech company laid me off,

and then, you know.

It's just bleak. It's just bad.

- Honey, the holidays are always bleak.

But that's what family's for.

- To cheer me up?

- Yes, yes, I think going home for the holidays

will cheer you up.

Your folks are great.

- And still think I have thriving career in tech support.

- Well, I mean, it's Thanksgiving.

It's the official holiday of family bonding

and avoiding your problems.

It's actually the perfect time to tell them.

- No, Greg's been such a jerk to me lately-

- Your brother is always a jerk, okay?

He's just jealous of everything you have.

- Oh, he is going to love me this year.

It's gonna be- - You know what I mean.

- Stop.

You got out to the big city,

and he's still living in Hope Junction

on the same block we all grew up on.

- Sometimes I think that's not actually so bad.

- Well, you're in crisis, so stop talking like that.

- No reminding me of that. I don't like it.

(giggling)

I just,

no, I'm gonna cancel.

No, I can't, I can't. - Jane!

- No, you're not doing this again, okay?

Now come on, let's get out of here.

It's not gonna be so bad, okay?

And if you ever feel lost,

listen to me, if you ever feel lost,

I'm only a phone call away, okay?

- Do you promise?

- Actually, that depends.

Are you committing to this whole landline thing, 'cause-

- [Jane] It's very comforting.

- You and your old things.

I get it.

Remember, a phone call away.

- (sighs) Thank you.

- All right, let's get out of here. I can't feel my legs.

(nostalgic guitar music)

- [Man On Radio] Some of that's gonna be heavy.

I know it's a rough Sunday in spots.

Rain and wind across the east and the northeast.

We could get some hurricane or near hurricane-force winds

near Long Island and parts of the southern,

southeastern New England on Monday.

And that storm's also gonna bring-

(scratchy music and talking)

(upbeat music)

- Whoa, sucks to suck roadside man.

I'm not getting ax murdered this holiday season.

I guess I could just roll down my window,

ask if he needs a tow truck or something.

Okay.

All right.

- Hey, thanks.

Hey, thanks for stopping.

- I have mace. - Okay.

Like the spiky ball thing or like the stranger danger kind?

- Just don't do anything funny, okay?

- Okie dokie.

You always so aggressive with the people

you save roadside?

- Mmm, you're catching me on a good day.

- Chris.

- Jane.

- Yeah.

- Ah, what happened here?

- Well, she started sputtering out a few miles back,

and then she stopped doing that altogether, so.

- Did you call anybody?

- Also my phone is dead.

- Oh, you know you can charge those

right into the car nowadays?

- Just jam it right into the 8-track player?

I wish I knew that.

That would've been,

it's my dad's old car.

I like old stuff.

- Yeah, me, too.

- It's comforting. - Yeah.

- Did you want to call a tow truck?

- Can I do that? That would be amazing.

Please, can I? - Yeah, yeah, yeah,

totally here, use my phone. - Thank you so much.

- That's amazing, thanks.

Thank you for this.

Hey, hi, I broke down on Highway 4.

Yeah, yeah, it's just the exit from Steinbeck.

Yes, exactly.

Yeah, old Lincoln Mark V.

Thank you.

Yeah, no, you can't miss me.

That's perfect, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm just on my way to Hope Junction.

That's perfect, thank you so much.

Thanks, I appreciate that.

Okay, great, I'll, yeah, I'll see you soon, great.

I'm saved. You saved me. - Great.

Did I just hear you say you're heading to Hope Junction?

- Yeah, I've got a, um, I've got a conference.

- Oh, small world.

I got a family there.

- You don't say.

- Yeah.

- You just heading back for Thanksgiving?

- Yeah, I guess so.

Do you want a ride? - Yup, yup, can I really?

- Yeah. - Awesome, thank you.

- No, thank you, that's amazing.

Really? - Yes, hop on in.

- It's be weird if you said no now.

Thanks.

(lively jazzy music)

Thanks for stopping for me back there.

- Oh. - Mighty decent.

- Don't worry about it.

So where are you staying?

- The Bumblebee Inn.

- No way. - Yeah, Hope Junction staple.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Me too. - Really?

- I thought you said you had family in town.

- I do, I do.

My parents and my brother.

But there's just, um,

there's just a lot going on right now.

So it's just easier if I stay at a hotel.

- Sounds tumultuous.

- It's really not.

- Well, if you're going to talk about it.

You know, far be it from me.

I mean, I'm just a waywarding English teacher

making my way across this great country of ours,

you know, boxcar to boxcar,

keeping a meal in my belly every time, good time.

From a pie cooling on a rock William windowsill,

you know, just me and my vindel,

the kindness of strangers like yourself.

- Wow, that is mighty decent of you, that offer,

but we just met, so, I think I'm gonna pass.

- You know, I grew up in Hope Junction.

- Hmm, not much to it, huh?

- I wouldn't say that.

I think some of my fondest memories are in Hope Junction.

It's good people.

- I moved away as soon as I could.

- But you're back.

- For Thanksgiving.

I don't think I could ever move back.

- Right.

(lively jazz music)

- Welcome to The Bumblebee Inn. My name is Eloise.

How can I help you?

- Hi, I'm checking in.

- Yes, of course.

And is the reservation under your name or your boyfriend's?

- My who?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, he's not my boyfriend.

- Oh, I'm so sorry, your fiance.

- No, no, no. - Your husband?

- We just met.

- She picked me up off the road.

- Oh. (Jane laughs)

- I have a reservation under Jane for myself.

- So just to confirm, these are two separate reservations?

- Absolutely separate. - That's right.

- Thank you very much.

- Yeah, we're like two peas in a pod.

Two peas in a separate pod who just met.

Two nuts, you know, like in their own shells.

You know, like a hazelnut and a shea nut.

- I think that a shea nut is a berry.

- Yeah, that's right, it is, yeah.

No nuts are just nuts anymore, you know?

You know, like peanuts are legumes.

Shea nuts are berries.

And then the other day someone told me

that a cashew is a fruit.

I mean, I'm convinced that nuts are the swindlers

of the protein world.

- Absolutely, it's a complete conspiracy.

I mean, really, it's propaganda being put out there

by Big Walnut to keep the little nut down.

- I'm allergic to nuts.

- Ah.

- Oh, I'm going to need a credit card

to hold against incidentals,

one from each each nut.

- Of course, here we go. Thank you.

- Thank you, great, fantastic, thank you.

Okay, here you go. - Thank you very much.

- Here you go.

Room number two for you

and room number four. - Thank you.

- Happy Thanksgiving to you both.

- Thank you very much. - Thanks so much.

- Guess we're neighbors.

- Guess so.

- Enjoy your stay. Okay.

(beeping)

- [Jane] Hey Daria, it's me.

Just calling to let you know that despite your total lies

about the weather, I've made it to Hope Junction

safe and sound.

I even did my seasonal good deed

and helped out this guy whose car broke down.

Okay, this is gonna sound really weird,

but there was something so familiar about him,

like, I don't know, like he was a song

I used to have memorized or something.

You know what, I sound ridiculous.

I'm probably just wiped.

Talk to you tomorrow, girl.

(gentle music)

(happy music)

- Joe, honey? - Hmm?

- A little help, please.

- You know I can't cook.

- You can hold a spoon, can't ya?

(groans)

Here, stir this.

Make sure it doesn't boil over.

- Yeah, yeah. - Okay?

- The kids should be here soon.

- Took them long enough.

I thought Jane was supposed to get here last night.

- She called earlier. She's been delayed.

Well, Mercury is in retrograde.

- What?

- Basic astrology, love.

- So you learned how to tell fortunes

at hairdressing school?

- Astrology, stars.

You're thinking of cosmetology.

(doorbell rings)

Oh, that must be them.

- Happy Thanksgiving!

- Oh honey, it's so good to see you!

- Hi, Mom.

- Come in, come in.

Oh, you look lovely.

So any news from the city?

- I, um, I, um, uh.

- It's always so exciting hearing what you're up to.

I mean, I know Greg and Angela are on their way

to giving us grandchildren.

But you, Janie, you are setting your mark on the world.

- Ah, everything's great.

Why rush through all the news right now, right?

We have all week.

- I suppose we do. Come on in.

I'm just fixing breakfast.

- Oh good.

- Very attentive. Look who I found on our doorstep.

- Jane, sweetie, we're so happy you made it.

- Hi, Dad.

- Did you get the package I sent you?

- I did.

- Real ham radios at the flea market for a steal.

Can you believe it? - I loved them.

- Now you can just radio directly with good news.

- I can't just text?

- Where's the panache? Where's the fanfare?

What if you get a big promotion?

Ham radio says news happened.

- What have we got here?

- Oh, the usual, bacon, juice, scones.

- How continental.

- [Mary] Yeah, something like that, yeah.

- Mom, you are still the best baker in this galaxy.

- Just the galaxy?

- Well, the universe is ever-expanding.

I mean, you've gotta leave room for the unexpected.

You never know when things can change.

- Well, maybe you'll win the Thanksgiving bake-off

and dethrone me this year.

- Your mother isn't competing because it isn't fair.

But she's very excited to watch.

- You bet. Do you have a partner yet, Jane?

- About that.

- Don't get all wrapped up about the fact

that most of the other teams are couples.

You don't have to pair up with a romantic partner.

- I know that, Mom.

- I should phone Mrs. Yarrow. - Mom!

- No, she would know all kinds of nice men

to set you up with.

She knows everybody.

- [Greg] Bonjour!

- That must be your brother.

- Hi, Mom. - Hi.

- Jane, good to see you.

- Hi, Greg, long time no see.

- I'm planning a wedding, Jane, keeps me very busy.

- Oh, you're getting married, huh? I didn't know that.

- You haven't changed a bit.

- We were just talking about the big Thanksgiving bake-off.

- Oh yeah? Ready to get creamed?

- I am gonna wipe the floor with you.

- Hmm? - Mm-hm.

- The floor is gonna be so clean,

you're gonna be eating my prize-winning pie off of it.

- So you would like me to make a call?

- There's no need, Mom.

I, um, I already have a date in mind, actually.

Will you excuse me for a second?

- What's for breakfast?

- "I already have a date in mind."

Stupid, stupid, stupid, how could you do that?

Why would you say that?

(muffled speaking)

- (knocking) Jane, everything okay in there?

- I'm fine, Mom! I'll be out in a second!

(rapid breathing)

Okay, I gotta play this out. I gotta play this out.

I gotta play this out. I'm gonna play this out.

How am I gonna play this out?

- Bacon's just delicious.

- Oh, everything okay, sweetie?

- Yes, of course.

I guess I'm just a little tired from the drive, you know?

We are gonna have so much fun this week.

(Greg chuckles)

Any other big plans?

- Oh, lots, you know the holidays.

Never a dull moment.

But oh, I do have something very special planned

for the two of you.

- Oh. - Would you go

to the grocery store for me?

People will be coming in a few hours

and I still have a million things to do.

- I would be delighted.

Well, are you coming?

- Now?

- Yeah, there's no time like the present.

- But my- - Yeah, your bacon will be

here when we get back, maybe.

Let's go! Let's motor!

- And I got a promotion at work

and preparations for the wedding

have been moving along great, too.

- Such a Renaissance man.

- Yes, you know, Angela has been

so into the wedding planning.

This has really been my year.

- Amazing.

- You know, you could show a little more enthusiasm.

- I'm sorry. Awesome!

- It is awesome.

- Wow, you know what, is there an off button to this?

You don't always have to be so smug.

- Well, you don't have to be such a bitter spinster,

but mmm. - Excuse me?

- Well, relax, I'm just kidding.

- What did you just say?

- Well, I just called you a bitter spinster.

- No, I know, I heard you. It wasn't funny.

- Did that touch a nerve or something?

- That's it, we are splitting up.

I am gonna take care of this, as I always do.

You just stay here, which you're good at.

- I am not smug.

Would someone smug look at a potato?

It is the least pretentious food there is.

She is the smug one.

I'm talking to a vegetable.

- Greg Lane?

- Chris Lilyhammer? Whoa.

- Ah, geez, how long has it been?

- Since college. How are you?

What are you doing home?

Hey, I heard your folks died.

- They retired. - I heard dead.

- Oh, listen, anyway, do you remember my sister Jane?

She's in town, too.

- You know, I do remember Jane.

- Yeah, right, 'cause you guys had that thing.

- Yeah, last I heard,

she was conjuring Bloody Mary at slumber parties

to put a hex on me.

- Yeah, dark times.

Listen, would you like to come over to the house later?

My parents are having a little cinq a sept.

- Maybe check with your sister first,

see where she stands with hexes these days.

- Come on, man, that was decades ago.

You probably wouldn't even recognize each other.

- Yeah.

You know what, yeah, yeah, I think I will come by.

- You! - No, you.

- You! - Okay.

- Yo, let's go.

- Here, let me take that for you, sis.

- Oh, that's very nice.

God, always.

- You almost done?

- Just about.

- Greg found an old friend at the grocery store,

and he's just arrived.

I think you might remember him, Chris Lilyhammer?

- He invited who?

- What, you don't remember him?

He was in primary school with you.

I mean, I think he left after the sixth grade, but I-

- Oh no, I remember.

I could never forget a traitor fake.

- Ooh, that's dramatic.

- Dramatic? Dramatic?

He doused me with fruit punch

in front of the whole entire school, Mom.

We were supposed to be partners in the science fair thing,

and he betrayed me, for a laugh.

And then he moved away, but that didn't stop everyone

from calling me Pinky Lane all through middle school.

- Well, now that so much time has passed,

don't you think it's kind of a cute story?

- Childhood trauma is not cute, Mom.

- Well, he's here now and he's asking after you.

So come on out and say hello.

(clears throat)

- Fine, fine, but I will not be gracious.

- Oh, geez.

- I will not offer him any of the mini crab cakes.

- Oh, Jane.

- No, I won't.

- You. - You.

- You're that Chris? You're Chris Lilyhammer.

Ugh, I cannot believe I gave a ride

to the Benedict Arnold of Hope Junction Elementary.

- Oh, come on, this is really something.

I mean, it's a small world, right?

- Did you know it was me?

What's your angle, Lilyhammer, huh?

Where's the con?

- No con, just a con-wincidence. See how I did that?

- So you do remember each other.

- Unfortunately.

- Oh listen, falling into your old banter already.

- No, that is not what is happening, Mom.

- I really think that we a kind of Sam and Diane

kind of dynamic.

- No, that's terrible. - "Cheers."

- Okay, you don't have a monopoly over everything old, okay?

(fluttering whistling)

Pinky Lane. - Oh. (laughs)

- Are those mini crab cakes? - No.

- Dad, mini crab cake? - Okay.

- Angela?

Mom? - No, thank you, dear.

- Mom, take one. - No.

- Take one.

I'm just gonna leave this right here.

- [Joe] Fun afternoon, huh?

I was talking to your friend Chris.

Did you know he builds a mean ham radio?

- Doubt it. Can't even jump start a car battery.

- [Joe] Is that a metaphor?

You know, your mother and I were thinking,

wouldn't it be nice if you invited him

to be your partner at the baking contest?

- No.

- Come on.

Who knows, maybe sparks will fly.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

(phone ringing)

Pick up, pick up, pick up.

- Hey.

- Daria, they're gonna try to set me up with this guy

the whole weekend.

- Well, I thought you said you thought he was cute.

- Uh, yeah, that was before I knew he was Chris Lilyhammer.

- No. - Yeah, mm-hm.

- I should have smelt the evil on him

from the very beginning.

- Boy, do you hold a grudge.

- I do not. I do not hold a grudge.

- Oh yeah, sure, right, 20 years is totally casual.

Hey, the Count of Monte Cristo called.

He told you to lighten up.

- You know what, you know what,

he really embarrassed me, okay?

This is not something you just let go of.

What do I do?

- Well, maybe you should just try.

I mean, I'm not saying let yourself get shoved

into an arranged marriage, but try?

- I know you're right.

Okay, well, I guess I'll call you later.

- Okay, bye.

- I need starches.

Hey, Eloise.

- Hi, Jane.

- Is the dining room still open?

- No, sorry, it closes at 10, and it is currently 10:06.

- Darn.

I'm feeling kinda snacky.

- Do you need starches? - Yes, I do.

- I hear that.

There are vending machines,

if you don't mind something shrink-wrapped

that has a questionable Best Before date.

- Two years and under?

- That's correct.

- Shrink-wrap sounds amazing.

- It's one of those days, huh?

- I would shrink-wrap my brain now if I could.

- Sounds delicious.

Vending machines are down the hall to the right.

You know what, have a Twinkie on me.

- Thank you. - Of course.

- Or some mixed nuts.

- Thank you.

when you can be a part of the B Team.

- B Team. - B Team all the way.

- All the way. - Enjoy.

(machine rattling)

- Come on.

- What has that vending machine ever done to you?

Are you cloning yourself?

You just seem to be everywhere.

- Sounds like fate to me.

- Do you need a hand there?

- What's it to you?

- Precious time, if you're gonna waste mine

just beating on that thing.

Can I get in there?

- Be my guest.

But I have to warn you,

that thing ate an entire cup holder worth of quarters.

- Aw, that's a shame.

- I think it's, jammed might be the technical term.

I'm not too sure.

- Let me take a look.

(machine beeping)

Boom!

Sounds like a bountiful harvest.

- How did you do that?

- Ah, summers in college I used to work for a factory

that fixed these machines.

You know, kind of looked at their programming codes a bit.

Insider tip, there's always an override

and I kinda just found it.

- I'm impressed.

You're like Angelina Jolie in "Hackers."

- I'm exactly like Angelina Jolie.

- Well, there, I'm glad that we can agree on something.

So your parents, they really trying to set us up, huh?

- I'm sorry.

It's just my brother's getting married in six months

and they're just on this overdrive kick

to just pair me off with someone.

I am not looking for anyone, I promise,

and especially not you. - Oh!

- That kinda came out wrong, I'm sorry.

- No, no, I'm not looking for anything, either.

I mean, the whole thing's kind of,

kind of annoying, huh?

- I'm glad we can agree on something.

- Well, I mean, we just committed

the Great Pennsylvanian Candy Caper.

So we're bound together by this, really.

Thick as thieves we are.

- We should get bracelets made.

- Or (whistles) pinky rings.

- What about-

- [Chris] Hmm?

- Ah no, never mind, it's fine.

- No, what is it?

- Nothing, it was just a stupid idea I had,

and I was just kinda-

- I don't know, civilization was founded

on a series of stupid ideas.

I'd love to hear it.

- Really?

K, I was just thinking, you know,

like neither of us are looking for anything, right?

So if my parents have anything to say about it,

the whole town's gonna try to set us up

by the end of tomorrow.

What if we just beat them to the punch, you know,

and we just tell everybody that we're already going out?

You know, just for Thanksgiving weekend,

and then we can just take some of the pressure

off both of us, go our separate ways and,

wow, you're terrified, it's insane.

- That's insane, yeah, but-

- There's a but.

- Yeah, I'll do it. - What?

- I love lying to parents. It's hilarious.

My parents think I'm a doctor.

My grandmother thinks I'm a priest.

Well, good night.

- Good night.

(tinkling, happy music)

- [Angela] Jane, is that you?

- Angela, hi, how's it going?

- Oh, swamped, I'm getting married, you know.

- Oh, I heard.

- There is just so much to do. - Well, that's-

- And then your parents are throwing this brunch tomorrow,

which I graciously offered to cohost.

Are you coming to brunch?

- I mean I'm- - What am I saying,

of course you're coming to brunch.

I'm shopping for it now.

I'm making Quiche Lorraine.

- How exotic.

- Isn't it?

How are you, darling?

I know the holidays can get a little lonely.

- Oh, I'm fine, really, I'm great.

- Well, we must find you someone.

Imagine coming to your own brother's wedding

without a date. - Well, it's six months away,

so I'm not really stressing about it.

- I know, so little time.

- You know, Angela, you don't really have to worry about me.

You know, I'm actually seeing someone right now,

and I'm seeing him right now.

Chris, honey!

- Hey, you. - Hi.

- How you doing? - Oh, so good.

- Weren't you Greg's friend at the house yesterday?

- Uh huh.

- You didn't mention anything then.

- Well, it's just so new.

- Well, you know my pookie.

I mean, she gets so nervous.

But I can assure you, we're crazy about each other.

- Crazy.

- Well, how lovely for you.

I hope to see you tomorrow at brunch, Chad.

- It's Chris.

- You bet. - Okie dokie.

- Wow, you really jumped into that one, huh?

- Well, I figure we gotta make it real, you know?

- Yeah, it was real.

12 o'clock, 12 o'clock.

Mrs. Yarrow, you remember Chris Lilyhammer.

Chris, this is Mrs. Yarrow, a real pillar of our community.

- Oh, the pleasure's all mine, then.

- Now I remember, you're such a nice boy.

Now, where did your parents end up?

- They retired to Costa Rica, actually.

- Oh, how tropical.

Will I be seeing the both of you

at the Lane brunch tomorrow?

We can catch up then, and I'll be making my mimosas.

- Oh, you know, I don't think that will-

- Brunch? We love brunch.

- Love brunch.

- Oh, then I'll look forward to it.

- Of course.

Have a nice day, Mrs. Yarrow.

- Oh, you, too.

- Take care.

Brunch? Fun!

How did I do?

- You kind of knocked everyone off of their feet.

Including me.

You know, it was good, it was decent, it was a great effort.

- Yeah, well, anything for my pookie.

Plus I love a good mimosa, so.

- What are you even doing here?

- Small town, seasonal market.

I was being picturesque.

- You were being picturesque?

- You know, picturesque. And charming, handsome.

- And extremely modest.

- And you're what, just stocking up on your flour?

- Ah, no. - You got a big papier-mache

project on the go?

- Oh no, no, no.

I just need to practice for the upcoming

town baking competition.

- Really?

- Yeah, I really wish I was joking, but yeah.

- Well, now who's being picturesque?

- I believe that would be me.

- Well, maybe I could stop by this baking contest.

- Really?

- Maybe pick up a thing or two.

- Do you bake?

- No, not at all. That's why I can pick up a thing or two.

- Okay.

Do you need a lift?

- I'm happy to walk.

Got a few appointments. - Okay.

- But I guess I'll be seeing you around.

Darling.

(happy music)

- [Photographer] Can you touch your hair?

Maybe, that's it.

(phone ringing)

- Hello? - Jane, how's it going?

- Is this a pity call?

- No. Okay, yes, was it that obvious?

- You're that obvious.

I'm doing fine.

- And your long con?

- It's growing longer. - Jane!

- I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

I really don't know what's happening.

I panicked, he's being picturesque.

- Don't tell me that you're starting to like

like this guy or something.

- No, no, no, no, just for one holiday,

I would like to not be the aging spinster of Spruce Street,

neighborhood children cautionary tale.

It's getting very old. - Uh huh.

- It's Chris Lilyhammer.

We used to watch him burn ants with a magnifying glass.

I can't take him seriously as a romantic option.

I just can't.

- If you say so.

- Don't look at me like that.

- How do you know how I'm looking at you?

- I know all your looks through intonation.

- Well, I mean, it's a little twisted, sister.

- I know you're right.

Well, you know what? It's not forever.

It's just for the week.

- And when they ask about him after this week?

- I'll break up with him on social media or something.

- Ah, a modern Machiavelli.

- Shut up.

Thanks for calling.

- Any time, peanut.

- It's not that twisted.

(knocking on the door)

- Hello.

- Someone very wise once said

you should never put off learning.

- Oh yeah? Who said that?

- Me. Just now.

- Oh.

- So do you feel like baking a pie?

- You know, I've never had this feeling before, but.

- You're into it.

- No, gentle. - Okay.

- You must have been great with horses.

- What?

- Well, you know, your whole gentle approach.

- I really wouldn't know anything about that.

The closest I've ever gotten to a stable

was when a mystery took Nancy Drew there.

- You better not be knocking my girl Nancy.

Those books are cool.

- You have not read a single Nancy Drew book.

- I have three sisters, okay?

Nancy gets chloroformed a lot for a kid.

Can't be good for her.

- Yeah, you read them.

- Okay, so yeah, what next?

- Now we roll. - Okay.

- And more flour, right.

- Ready to roll?

- Sure. - Knock yourself out.

- Hey, you know what, why don't you give me a try?

- Show you how to roll?

All right, step aside, rookie.

- Okay, I see, so.

Yeah.

- You in?

- Okay, that's nice.

- Is it? Is it working for you?

(laughing)

You want to do it properly? - Okay.

- Okay, so I just- - Wow.

- Go ahead.

You learn pretty quickly.

- Well,, I had a pretty good teacher.

- Thanks.

So I was talking to my friend Daria today.

And she thinks what we're doing is ridiculous.

- Mm-hm? - Mm-hm.

- What exactly is it that we are doing?

- I don't know, pretending to go out

to get my parents off our backs, my back, I mean.

- Well, it would only be ridiculous

if you quietly fell in love with me throughout the process.

I mean, I don't see that happening.

- I do not see that happening.

This lane is closed.

- I see what you did there.

- I'm still kind of compartmentalizing

that science fair incident.

- I dumped fruit punch on you 20 years ago.

Okay, you gotta get past that.

No one even calls you Pinky Lane anymore.

- You did. Yesterday.

- Yeah, yeah I did.

- What? - Okay, I'm sorry.

- Really, I'm sorry.

But I was just a kid, all right?

And I would never leave you in a clutch like that again.

- I don't know that.

I don't trust you.

- Okay, well, okay, how about this?

In the interim, you just fake trust me.

You know, 'cause I would feel really fake bad

if you hurt you again.

So would your fake boyfriend.

- That's completely circumstantial.

- I think the word that you're looking for is convenient.

- I wanted to fake date you so I wouldn't have to

real date you. (bell dings)

The pie is done.

(bouncy piano music)

- It looks amazing. - Yeah, it does.

- [Chris] We make a pretty good team.

- That one was really smooth.

- It seemed a great time to have a liar.

- Oh my God! You really are dating Chris Lilyhammer.

- Greg? What are you doing here?

- Some greeting.

- Sorry, you just took me by surprise.

- I was in the neighborhood.

Angela told me you said you'd be baking all day.

I thought I'd drop by.

She told me about this, too,

but I was sure she had to be wrong.

- Greg, can I have a word outside with you for a minute?

- Mm-hm.

(inquisitive music)

Oh all the people to date, him?

- Uh, what is wrong with Chris?

He was your friend first.

- And he was supposed to be your nemesis.

- So, things can change.

- This doesn't have anything to do

with Mom throwing him at you, does it?

- What? No, of course not.

Why do you even care, anyway?

I thought you'd be thrilled that I'm seeing someone.

Just check off plus one on the wedding invitation.

- Yeah, something doesn't add up here.

And I'd much rather have you no plus one

than pay for your phony plus one.

- There is nothing phony going on here.

- Sure. - Honestly.

- We, we are crazy about each other.

Mm-hm, yeah, you will see tomorrow at brunch.

- Everything okay out here?

- Oh, it's fine.

I suppose I'll see you tomorrow.

- You're gonna have to bring your A game tomorrow.

- Ah, and the Great Big Boyfriend Caper continues.

Brought to you by Zappos, chewing tobacco for children.

If you wanna be a real Chew-Chew-Charlie,

hitch your train to this caboose.

- Wow, you are really enjoying yourself.

- Me? No, not at all.

Also, Zappos Turtle Wax.

Get the shell out of here lady.

- Wrap it up. - Okay.

- Can I have a snuggle snuggle?

- Snuggle, you're too- - You're the cutest thing

in the whole wide world. - I know I am.

- I love you so much.

- Thank you for calling me cute every day.

- Every single day.

- And that's what I want you to do in our marriage.

- Oh, Jane.

- Excuse me for one second. - Okay.

- Would you like to try some of my quiche?

- Oh, I would love to try some of your quiche.

- [Angela] Thank you.

- [Mrs. Yarrow] Looks delicious.

- I hope you like it.

- Oh, Jane! And Chris, nice to see you again.

- Remember, he's Jane's new boyfriend.

- That's right. Thanks so much for having me.

- I just knew the two of you would hit it off.

And you brought a pie?

- We sure did. We brought it for the host.

- How thoughtful. I'll take that.

- I'm just gonna help Greg with that.

- Chris Lilyhammer.

You know, it's like something out of a story.

Maybe it's true what they say about kids

who pick on each other on the playground.

- It is, Mom.

- Hey, Greggie? - Yeah?

- Where are you going with that pie, bud?

- Oh, I was just putting it, um,

put it on the table, yeah just there.

- Enjoy.

- What's going on? What are you doing with her?

- Quiche Lorraine, isn't it glamorous?

- Hello, Mrs. Yarrow.

- Hello. Now, I just saw Chris over at the buffet table.

You two make an adorable couple.

- Thank you very much, Mrs. Yarrow.

- And to think you knew each other for years.

Now, when did you realize that things were special

between you two?

- Oh, it was, I was, I was, uh-

- It was kindergarten.

- Mm-hm.

- Yeah, Jane came in with a melted typewriter

for show and tell.

And I just thought to myself, I mean,

clearly, that's the girl for me, right?

- You did not.

- No, it's true.

Yeah, I just thought you were so strange and cool.

And then I lost her.

And it's probably my biggest regret.

But now I've found her.

And I gotta say, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world.

- Oh, how romantic.

- Yeah, it's Chris. It's tender and full of yearning.

I cannot get enough.

- [Chris] No, she can't.

- It's great.

- Jane, oh, bisou! Bisou!

I'm so glad you came!

Have you tried the Quiche Lorraine?

- No. - Oh, it is to die for.

- Honestly, Angela, kudos to the chef.

And we had better see you compete at tomorrow's bake-off.

- Oh, I wouldn't miss it.

- I want you to meet a couple of people.

- Jane, you naughty girl.

You were hiding your beau from us.

Please, tell me how you met.

- Oh, you didn't hear?

It was at the zoo.

He was trapped in a cage and I just busted him out.

- I will never understand that wild wit of yours.

- The zoo?

- Sorry, I panicked.

- But this is your little plan, okay?

I mean, sometimes I feel like

I'm the only one who's committed to this relationship.

- Oh, I'm sorry, which relationship?

The one that we just made up? The fake one?

- Yeah, the fake one. - What did you just say?

- Nothing.

- Jane has a very creative relationship with the truth,

don't you agree?

- Well, she's a very talented young woman.

- Oh, that's a funny way of saying disaster.

- Greg, do not start.

- I'm just saying, you're a complete disaster.

- Well, disaster is a pretty subjective term,

don't you think?

- Well, I-

- I mean, what's the old adage?

Surgery looks like murder halfway through?

- Where are you going with this?

- Don't knock an unfinished product.

I mean, all of the genius ingredients are right here.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, well, that's a mixed metaphor, so.

- Bye, Greg.

He's still a bit of a dork, huh?

- Yes.

- You have to try this.

- Oh, no, no, no, I'm full.

- You haven't even- - I'm full, I'm full.

- My tummy is so full, baby, I can't have another bite.

- Okay.

- Dad, have you tried the quiche?

- Uh, she's saving me some crust.

- Your family really seems- - Invasive?

- I was gonna say that they really seem to love you.

- Really, even Greg?

- I'm sure Greggie boy loves you in his own way.

I mean, you're very lovable.

- It's just us right now, Chris, you don't need to pretend.

- Who's pretending?

Oh, why, thank you.

Thank you, miss.

I mean, really, I've never had a better fake girlfriend.

- Gee, thanks.

(sentimental music)

- [Eloise] Oh, Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane Jane.

- Hi.

- Yeah, hi.

- Is everything okay?

- Could you come with me for a moment?

- I'm a little scared.

- Don't be scared. You look beautiful, by the way.

Follow me. - Okay.

(gentle, romantic piano music)

- Have a great night.

- Huh? - Ah.

- What is all this?

- I just wanted to surprise you.

- I'm surprised.

- Also, I wanted to- - What?

- You know what, that can wait.

Why don't you take a seat, eh?

- Okay. - I made everything myself.

- Oh, wow. - Like an adult man.

- Wow, this is amazing. - Thank you.

- You sure know how to commit to a bit.

- Yeah, what?

Oh, hey, what you doing there?

- Social media. This is a great idea.

This really adds this whole air of authenticity, you know?

- Well, that's the idea.

- Yeah, let's get some glasses in there.

You know, that's really cute.

(glasses clinking)

- Oh, it looks so real. - Mmm.

- This is good. - Yeah.

- What is this?

- Ravioli from scratch.

You wouldn't know it, but I'm full-blooded Sicilian.

- This is beautiful.

- Thanks.

All right, shall we?

Oh yeah, that's probably a good idea.

- That's the last of the good ideas.

- Do you know what I can't stop thinking about?

- What's that?

- That story that you told at brunch.

The attention to detail.

I mean, you are really good at this.

- That's because it's a true story.

- No, I know, I know, but like,

the way you made it so romantic.

- Ah, it's just a true story.

- That's what I'm saying.

Like you practically made me believe it, it was-

- Jane, you're not really getting this.

Okay, the reason that it sounds like a true story

is because it is a true story.

- Oh.

- Come on.

I like you, Jane. I've always liked you.

- Oh.

- Is that all you have to say to that?

- I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't know yet.

- Okay, I just thought, you know,

these past couple days, I really thought

that there was something there,

and I thought that you felt it, too.

- I, uh- - But, you know,

maybe you didn't and I completely misread the situation,

and then I'm making everything awkward

and I'm an idiot.

- No, you're not an idiot.

I just,

I just didn't really see this coming.

- Well, you know, that can happen

when you build walls up around yourself.

- I don't build walls up around myself.

- Yeah, you do, though.

- So why do you like me, then?

Sounds like an awful lot of work.

- (laughs) Yeah, it's been worth it.

You know, if maybe you'd consider,

you know, going out with me some time.

For real.

- The baking competition is tomorrow.

- Okay. - I need a partner.

- Oh no, come, no, no, no, no,

you don't want me as your baking partner.

Come on, you've seen me in action.

- Yeah. - Well, I was pretty good.

- So let's just go together, then.

- Okay.

- For real.

- I'd like that.

Okay, well, I mean,

at least I know that if I'm there with you,

we're taking the top prize.

'Cause we're gonna snatch up that trophy

like a pair of hot dice.

Stop beating the bricks like they owe us money.

We'll make it to Chicago in time

to see ourselves on the evening news.

It'll be Pinky Jane Lane

and Chris Lilyhammer

in the Great Pie Caper.

- I'm kind of starting to regret this.

- I completely understand.

(laughing)

(quirky music)

(knocking on the door)

- Chris? Are you in there?

- Oh, Mrs. Yarrow, where's Eloise?

- Oh, she's taking my place as the judge

at the bake-off this year.

I have a bit of a funny tummy.

- Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

- Yeah, you didn't happen to have

any of that quiche, did you?

- Oh, I, I do not recall.

- Oh, you would.

- But I do remember you said it was fantastic.

- Oh, did I?

- Have you seen Chris by any chance?

Did he go by somewhere?

Dining room, maybe.

- No, I haven't seen him, but I just started my shift.

Did you two have any plans?

- We did, yes.

Oh, maybe he thought he was meeting me

at the competition hall.

- That must be what happened.

- You know what, if you see him,

could you please tell him that I'm going to go and meet him

at the competition hall right now.

- Mm-hm.

- Yeah, okay.

- Say, "Bees." - Bees.

- Okay, you be sure to send that to me, okay, Mary?

(microphone feedback squealing)

I'd like to thank everyone for joining us

in this year's annual Thanksgiving Bake-off.

My name is Eloise.

I'll be your judge for today's event.

Mrs. Yarrow had a bit of a funny tummy today.

And for those of you asking,

no, I did not poison her to take her place. (laughs)

(crickets chirping)

Okay, in a few short moments,

I'll be coming around to each of your stations

to give you your team numbers.

Um, just keep chatting and good luck.

And please, remember the three B's,

be safe, be alert,

and be yourself.

It's not about winning. It's about having fun.

Okay, let the baking begin, thank you.

(audience applauding)

- Oh Janie, Janie! Sweetie, we're over here.

- Hey, where's your, uh, your boyfriend?

- Hmm, where's your fiancee?

- Don't mind your brother.

He's in a nasty mood today

because Angela came down with a nasty case

of food poisoning last night.

- Let me guess, Quiche Lorraine?

- It could have been anything.

- So where is Chris?

- He's running late. - Running scared, more like.

- I know, why don't you the two of you

set up as a pair for the contest.

- What? - No way, Mom, hard pass.

- But you two used to love playing restaurant

when you were little.

- Yeah, Mom, when I was six.

- The food was imaginary. Jane couldn't screw it up.

- I couldn't screw it up?

When we were in high school,

you almost burned down the house

trying to microwave lasagna wrapped in tin foil.

- How was I supposed to know

you can't put metal in a microwave?

- Everybody knows that. - Everybody knows that.

- If you knew that and you didn't say anything, Jane,

that's your fault, that's on you.

- On me, right, pointing, great, yeah.

Is this supposed to be teamwork?

I cannot compete under these conditions, no.

- Excuse me, is everything all right?

- Oh, everything is fine.

I will be competing alone today.

- Me, too.

- Oh, um, this awkward,

but we're not allowing single participants this year.

Safety regulations.

- I'm sorry, safety regulations?

- Yes.

Mrs. Gellman burned off both of her eyebrows last year.

- Oh, I remember. They never grew back quite right.

- Exactly.

And maybe if she'd been competing in a pair,

it wouldn't have happened.

Or at the very least, her partner could've put out the fire

in time to save her eyelashes.

- Tough break. - Yes.

- So, pairs only.

Singles have to sit this one out, I'm afraid.

- Story of my life.

- Listen, I know that the two of you,

once you start baking,

you'll get along like a house on fire.

- Cheese and crackers, Mary, please.

A little sensitivity in the word choice.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- It's okay.

- So? What do you say?

- Fine.

- I am going to make a phone call.

- She'll be right back.

- Nice one.

- Do you, um, do you know if Chris has come back

to his room, yet?

Did he maybe leave a message for me?

Could you, could you please check?

Nothing.

Okay.

Thank you, thank you, Mrs. Yarrow.

- I guess we're doing this.

- Oh, great. - Excellent.

- Here are your team numbers.

Jane.

- Thanks, Mom.

- I believe in you, Jane.

- Thank you. - Okay? Okay.

- Good luck. - Thank you.

- See you, Dad.

You better not cost me that prize.

- Um, I'm not the one whose cooking

put his fiancee in the hospital last night.

- She baked that quiche.

- I knew it was the Quiche Lorraine.

- Whatever, just start measuring out the ingredients, okay?

- The measuring cups are on your side.

- What are you, T-Rex arms? Use your reach.

Well, at least get the butter out

so we can start on the crust.

- Butter? No, no, Grandma's crust uses lard.

- Yeah, that's disgusting.

- Uh, it's in the original recipe.

- Yes, her 60-year-old recipe.

Jane, times have changed.

Childhood obesity is on the rise.

Lard is out, butter is in.

- It is an essential ingredient.

It is the whole reason why the crust comes out so flaky.

- Yeah, maybe the way you bake.

I am resourceful enough to make do.

- Make do all you want.

But, uh, key ingredients are kind of added for a reason.

Now, I know common sense sort of skipped

this whole situation.

But you know what, since we have to work together,

can we at least just do it right?

- You are so stuck in your thinking, Jane.

This is exactly why you're in a rut.

- I am not in a rut.

I do what works, not what my cookie cutter perfect fiance

says is healthy.

- At least I have a fiancee.

Tell me something, could Chris really not make it?

Or is he just sick after spending

a single afternoon with you?

- I am sure there is a perfectly good explanation for-

- Yeah, I bet he could smell the desperation on you.

Probably smelled like old cats and boxed wine.

- Did Angela wake up sick,

or did she just sort of feel it coming on

when she saw your face this morning?

- Yeah, well, at least I have someone to go home to,

unlike you, who has nobody, because you're a loser, Jane.

And nobody wants to come home to a loser.

Oh yeah, real mature, Jane,

just run away from your problems.

Oh, man.

(melancholy music)

(melancholy music)

- Jane, what happened?

- Greg's just being a jerk.

- Greg's always being a jerk.

It's how he shows affection.

- You really think that?

- Of course, he's your brother. He loves you.

- I don't think he does.

I think he thinks I'm a waste of space

and an embarrassment to the family.

- No.

- And I think he's right, you know?

Somehow he's always right about everything.

- Is this about Chris?

Come on.

- He didn't even show, Dad.

He knew this was important to me. He didn't even show.

- Jane, guys are just- - Dad.

- I'm so sorry he disappointed you.

- Dad. - What?

- Chris was never my boyfriend.

I just talked him into saying that

to just get you guys to leave me alone.

- What?

- For a second there, I know,

I thought there was something there.

But nope, um, I just,

it turns out I'm just an idiot, so.

- Janie, you shouldn't be twisting yourself up like this.

No one's worth it.

And I think you've made the right choice

and you had the right idea focusing on your career.

- Dad.

- It's always something you've been so proud of,

having a job, working with computers in the big city.

- I was laid off, Dad, three weeks ago.

Cutbacks. - Oh, Janie, Janie,

I'm so sorry, oh.

Oh, you've been having such a hard time, my little girl.

I just wish I'd known sooner.

- It's just, I just didn't know how to tell you guys.

Everyone is so proud of Greg and Angela

just moving their lives forward,

and I just, I just, I feel so lost, Dad.

- Everybody feels lost sometimes.

- No, I feel lost all the time.

- Everybody feels like that sometimes, too.

And you know, you know, it may not be the big city,

but your mother and I could help you find a job.

We might know someone.

And you could stay at home for a little while.

- Dad, no, Dad.

- Janie, it could be good for you.

Come home, have a peaceful place, figure out what you want.

- I will think about it.

- I hope you do.

Ready to get back in there?

- No.

- Come on, you're getting back in there. Come on.

- Is that, uh, lard in the crust?

- Butter, actually.

- Butter, okay.

- Oh, back from putting up lost posters?

Maybe your boyfriend doesn't wanna be found.

- Look- - May I be excused?

- Yeah, sure. - Thank you.

- Cards on the table, Chris isn't my boyfriend.

- I knew it, I knew you made that up.

- Why do you think I did?

Why are you always looking for ways to tear me down?

- Me? All you ever do is take shots at me.

You know, it's one thing to be jealous, but-

- Jealous? You think I'm jealous of you?

Mind blown.

- Oh see, there you go, more shots.

- Okay, how do you expect me to be nice to you

when all you do is just, just be a jerk to me?

- How do you expect me not to be a jerk

when all you ever do is just tear down my success?

- That's gonna come out hard if you keep doing that.

- Mm-hm.

Oh, I'm such an idiot.

- Mmm, Jane, good evening.

- What's so good about it?

- Who spat in your cranberries?

- Sorry.

It's just been a really rough day.

- Weren't you and Chris competing in the bake-off today?

Oh, I guess it didn't go that well, did it?

- Nope, it did not.

And we didn't win, either.

Um, hey, were there any calls or messages for me?

- Sorry, no.

- Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Well, if there are any messages or calls,

no, you know what?

No, no messages, no calls, the do not disturb sign

is on my door.

- You got it.

(phone ringing)

- Hey girl, how are things in Hope Junction?

- Terrible. Do you have time to talk?

- For you, always.

Just a minute.

- So Chris blew me off.

- Huh.

- Yeah, you don't sound surprised.

- Well, what did you expect?

You've always known he sucks.

He's changed.

- Mm-mm, people don't change, not really.

- Oh, girl, the way my life's been going lately,

I really need to believe that's not true.

So my dad told me I should move back home today.

I'm thinking about it.

- And what, leave me behind?

You wouldn't dare.

- I'm not like you.

You're flourishing in the city,

and I'm just floundering.

Maybe it's time I do something different and recharge.

- Well, if that's what you think is best.

I just want you to be happy.

- Why does everyone keep saying that?

- Well, because, everybody loves you.

- I really don't feel like it.

- Oh, honey.

- Oh man, I'm sorry, I'm being such a sap.

Um- (knocking on the door)

I gotta go, someone's at the door.

- All right, bye, sweetie.

- Jane? Can I come in?

- No. - Wait!

- Wow. - Jane, Jane, please,

just let me explain myself.

- No way. - Jane, come on.

- Sure, go ahead, explain.

Explain how you stood me up.

- I wasn't trying to stand you up.

- In front of my family. In front of everyone in town.

I knew you weren't to be trusted.

- Okay- - You know what-

- I know that this looks bad.

But, look, I really, really had to-

- Do something better, right?

- Well, kind of.

No, not like that!

Come on, no, no, no, I don't mean it like that.

- Go away!

You suck, Chris Lilyhammer!

- Jane, just let me talk to you for a little bit, okay?

- I am gonna count to five.

And if by the time I'm finished, you are still there,

I am gonna call the front desk, and I'm gonna complain.

- [Chris] Jane, don't do that.

- One, two, three!

- [Chris] I had to be someplace.

- [Jane] Four!

- All right, fine, if that's what you want.

- Five!

(groaning and sobbing)

(phone ringing and vibrating)

- [Chris] Jane, please, give me a chance here. Listen.

- (sighs) I gotta get outta here.

(melancholy string music)

(phone ringing)

- [Mary] Hello, you've reached the Lane residence.

If you want to leave us a message, do so.

(machine beeps)

- Hey, Mom, it's me.

Um, I was just, um, I was talking to Dad earlier, and, um,

you know, I was really thinking about what he was saying,

and I think he's right, and um,

I'm really tired.

And um, it's been a really long last couple days.

And I, I think I'm ready to come home for a bit

and recharge.

So I will see you guys later.

(melancholy music)

(shop door bells ringing)

- Son of a- - Can I sit?

- What are you doing here?

- I've been stalking you, haha.

It's the only place that's open.

Everywhere else is closed for the holidays.

Think I can explain myself now?

- Go ahead.

- I'm not actually in town for a conference.

I'm here for a job interview.

- Okay?

- I was let go six months ago,

and it's been really rough out there trying to find work.

So when I had the opportunity to interview

for the school system out here,

I mean, I jumped at the chance.

- So, today-

- I got the call this morning.

And I promise, I really didn't think

that it was gonna take that long.

But the guy, Frank, the superintendent,

he kept me there for like four hours.

But I think it went really well.

I mean, he basically showed me my classroom.

- So, why didn't you just say that?

- I don't know, I was embarrassed.

I didn't think that you'd go with some unemployed bum.

- I'm unemployed.

- Oh. Well, good.

I mean, now I'll have someone to share my chips

on my couch with who isn't my dog.

Yeah, it's been kind of bleak.

But I'm here now.

Do you think that you could forgive me?

- Of course I forgive you.

I get it.

You did what you had to do.

You did you. And I did me.

So where does that leave us?

- Jane, this is us.

- Yeah, I know, that's a, that's a problem.

Do you know, we were kids and you embarrassed me.

That sucked.

But you know what sucked even more

was that you abandoned me,

and it made me feel very small.

And it made me feel very worthless.

- I know, but Jane, that was 20 years ago.

I mean, we talked about this.

- Yeah, but you did it again to me. Today.

And I'm not a kid anymore.

I've been through enough to know what I want.

And what I want is a true partner who shows up,

who sees all the walls that I put up,

and who convinces me to tear them down,

and who doesn't crush my exposed heart within 24 hours.

- No, no, I wanna be that guy.

I can be that guy. I'm the guy!

- You say that.

You talk a really good game, Lilyhammer.

And then, this is all pretend.

I'm done pretending.

- No, I'm done pretending.

I'm pretty sure pretending is killing me.

- I'm pretty sure pretending is all we have.

- Oh.

- I think you should go.

(phone ringing and buzzing)

- Hello?

Jane, um, it's Greg, it's your brother.

He's been in an accident.

- What? Whoa, whoa, slow down what?

What do you mean? Is he okay?

- Well, he was raking leaves off the roof and he fell.

- Is he okay, though?

- Yes, but I think you should come home as soon as you can.

- Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Yes, yes, I need a cab.

Two hours? No, no.

I am aware it's Thanksgiving.

This is an emergency, I need,

are you hearing me?

This is an emergency.

Great, well, thank you very much.

Thank you for nothing. Happy holidays.

(Chris honks)

- Jane! Do you need a ride?

Is Greg going to be okay?

- I, I don't know.

How did you just show up? - Show up?

- Showing up and stalking are kind of different things.

- I was not stalking.

I was just watching you from my car

from a distance

like a stalker.

- Are you being funny right now?

- No. - Do you think that-

- You are deep in the red, Lilyhammer.

- You looked like you needed help.

- And, and you had nothing better to do, so just-

- Look, if it was my choice, I never would have left.

Ever.

(melancholy, romantic music)

- This doesn't let you off the hook, you know.

I really don't trust you.

- I'm painfully aware of that.

But you know, there's a lot worse things in the world

to distrust than a guy who teaches English to eighth graders

who's been in love with you since kindergarten.

- You have not been in love with me since-

- Jane, that's the one thing right now, Jane,

that's just really not up to you.

Why wouldn't I be?

You're Jane Lane.

- Oh, there they are.

- Mom, is he okay?

- He's fine.

- He has a mild concussion and a broken wrist.

But he's resting in there.

- How did this happen?

He was on a wobbly ladder holding a rake in one hand.

These things happen.

- No, they don't happen.

Not on Thanksgiving.

You know, the last thing I did was fight with him.

(Chris sneezes)

- Oh, you brought Chris.

- Hey.

- He was my ride.

- Your ride?

- Yeah, it was the weirdest thing.

We were both at the um, the thing.

- [Jane] Greg, where is Greg?

- He's in the other room.

Go ahead and just let him know you're here.

- Okay.

- I'll stay and keep Chris company.

(chuckles)

- How are you feeling?

Did you get anything to eat?

Does your wrist hurt?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, one question at a time.

I banged my coconut pretty good.

- Sorry.

What happened?

- Well, you know that step on the ladder

that isn't really a step?

- Oh my God.

You could've died. - But I didn't.

- You could've died.

And the last thing that I would have said to you

was that you were a jerk who manhandled pastry dough,

and I couldn't live with myself if that happened, you know?

- Yeah, that would be awful for you.

- Is that all you wanna say?

- Oh, I'm a little concussed.

I get to say whatever I want.

- Wow, you're the worst.

- Hey, hey, I'm kidding, okay?

I was a jerk who horribly manhandled that pastry dough.

I'm sorry.

- Wow.

- And if you're serious, I've had a lot of time to think,

lying here, and I think

I know

that I've been a little hard on you.

- Oh, Greg. Thank you.

That really means a lot to me.

- Oh, we're family.

We should at least get along during the holidays, right?

- We should.

So, friends?

- Friends.

On one condition. - Hmm?

- I get to be the first one to sign your cast.

(Greg laughs)

We should put this down.

I'm gonna get you that food, yeah.

Be right back.

- [Chris] Yeah, so my dog always has her head

stuck out the window when I'm driving.

- [Mary] Right.

- Which is a compromise, because she knows I don't like it when she smokes.

(laughing)

- You two look cozy.

- Chris and I were having a nice chat.

- Where's Dad?

- Oh, he went to get us something to eat.

Chris, would you mind calling and seeing what's keeping him?

Speed dial one.

- Yup, I can do that.

- I like him.

- Yeah, I do, too.

- Is he maybe the reason you're thinking

of staying in town?

- Mom, no.

I wanna come home. You were right.

- Oh, oh yeah, that can be the worst.

- But it doesn't hurt that Chris is also staying in town.

- Hey, he said he's just around the corner.

- Oh, did he?

- What's going on in here?

- Oh, come on in.

Here they are.

- Hey! - Happy Thanksgiving!

- Happy Thanksgiving.

- Muah, muah, wow, quite the color.

- It's salmon.

- Hey. - Hey.

- You sticking around this time?

- Trying to.

- I can work with that.

- Guys, I'm standing right here.

- Happy Thanksgiving!

- Oh.

Who could this be?

- Well, answer it.

- Hello? - Happy Thanksgiving!

- Why does your voice sound so weird?

Oh my God, you're here.

How are you here?

- I flew in last night.

You're not the only one with family in town.

- Oh, now it really is a happy Thanksgiving.

- That's Chris? Wow.

He grew up good.

- Uh, sitting right here, guys.

- I got something for you.

- Why? You shouldn't have.

- It's Thanksgiving.

- Oh, it's a bus ticket.

- Okay, I know you drive.

It's more symbolic than anything.

My way of saying that I get

that this is where you need to be now.

But I'll always be a bus ride away.

- I love you. Thank you, Daria.

- That works both ways, you know, Daria.

You know you're always welcome here.

- Thanks, Mary.

- Let's have a drink. - Yes, let's do it!

- [Daria] Oh, this is so good, thank you.

- Cheers. - Hi, Daria.

- Cheers.

- [All] Cheers! Cheers!

(gentle piano music)

- And what are you thankful for this year, Jane?

- Oh, my great hair and killer wit, naturally.

- Oh, you're a geek.

- I'm thankful that my car broke down last week.

Changed my life, really.

- Aw, you're a sap.

- Yeah, I am.

But it brought me to you.

Plus I got to learn some wicked vending machine tricks.

So, I got that going for me.

- I guess I'm also thankful

that you were there for me.

- Oh.

- I really don't know how

I could have gotten through today without you.

- Well, maybe you wouldn't have to

if you just let me in a little.

- Well, maybe I'd think about it

if you're serious about sticking around.

- I'm serious.

- You are serious.

(happy music)

- [Chris] Happy Thanksgiving, Jane.

- [Jane] Happy Thanksgiving, Chris.