All language subtitles for Law.and.Order.Special.Victims.Unit.S22E12.In.The.Year.We.All.Fell.Down.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_eng

- In the criminal justice
system,

sexually based offenses

are considered
especially heinous.

In New York City,
the dedicated detectives

who investigate
these vicious felonies

are members of an elite squad

known as
the Special Victims Unit.

These are their stories.

- Fire three blackened catfish,

two shrimp étouffée.

- Almost a full house.

- Six reservations
were no-shows.

- And we filled half the tables
with walk-ins.

Don't be such a worrier.

- Ha, that's me.

Vanessa's.

- And we've got Mrs. Schwartz's
90th birthday party tomorrow.

- No, we don't.

They're sorry,
but they had to cancel.

Her brother-in-law
in New Rochelle has Corona.

- We can move cash
from personal into business.

If I get the P.P.P. loan,

I can keep some of my staff.

Any word on unemployment?

- I tried.
I was on hold for three hours.

- Call them back.

Eddie, it's been five weeks
since they closed your show.

- Well, it's official.

Binghamton won't reopen
the dorms this semester.

They don't even know
about next fall.

- Okay, you live here.

You Zoom classes.

- I'm gonna drop out.

- That is not happening.
- All right, all right.

leave the kid alone.
He's 19.

He doesn't wanna share a
bathroom with his grandmother.

- I heard that.

- It wasn't me, Nana,
I swear.

- I love you too.

- Come on, it's 7:00.
Get up.

Stop feeling sorry
for yourself.

They love it
when your play your trumpet.

- ♪ Nobody's listening
to me ♪

- Whoo!

Yeah!

- ♪ Why am I praying
anyway? ♪

- You sure we can
afford all this?

-
We don't have a choice, Ira.

- Ow!
Ah!

- This a good idea?

- I had to get him
out of the house.

He and Nate
are gonna kill each other.

- Eddie hurts himself,
he can't play the horn.

- Okay, Broadway's
not coming back.

They just announced
that all the shows are dark

until the end of the year.

- ♪ Anyway

- Where's Nate?

- I don't know.

- He shouldn't be out partying.
Your mom's 76 for God's sake.

- Do you want to be a parent
for once,

or do you want me
to do everything?

- Hey, you two.

- Fine.

Look, I have to go
to Michigan anyway.

- Wait, what?

- Yeah, Dad's sick.
My mom can't handle it.

- When were you gonna
tell me this?

- I thought I did.

Hey, where you been?
- Where's your mask?

- Can you both just
get off my back?

- I'll go talk to him.

- Mom.
- Don't.

- Do you want me to make you
a cup of tea?

- Don't get too close.

I'm fine.

It's just--it's just allergies.

- I'm so sorry, Guillermo.

- As soon
as the vaccines come...

- And then there were two.
- How we started.

You okay?
- Mm-hmm.

- Eddie still in Michigan?

- Both his parents
are immunocompromised.

So he's staying there.

- And your mom?
- I don't know.

She was positive,
then negative, then positive.

It might be just the flu.

We're all gonna be okay.

I love you.

She heard me?

- She did.
She needs her rest now.

- No, I don't want her
to be left alone.

- She won't be.
I'll stay with her.

- But she heard me?
- Yes.

She's squeezing my hand.
That means yes.

- ♪ I feel stupid
when I pray ♪

♪ So why am I praying

- Hi.

- Ah, what a year, huh?

We were so sorry to hear
about your mother.

- Thank you.
- ♪ Anyone

♪ Please send me anyone

♪ Lord, is there anyone

- Joey.
Good news?

- I'm sorry.
They can't extend the loan.

- I have been a good tenant
for 20 years,

and if they close me down now,

the place, Joey, the place
will sit empty, right?

- I told them that.
I'll see what I can do.

- We've been running on empty
for a long time now.

- It's COVID.
It's not gonna last forever.

- It isn't COVID.

All right, maybe that brought
it all up to the surface.

When you working 14 hours
a day, I was working nights,

we didn't have time to realize
how unhappy we were.

- Just come home.

- For what?
To drive you even crazier?

How long do you think
it's gonna be

before anyone wants
to sit in a theater

with a thousand other people?

- So you're just gonna
leave me all alone?

- Have you even tried
to call Nate?

What the hell happened
with you two?

- It's Joey Leonard.
I gotta go.

Joey, okay,
just give me one second.

Listen--

- Look, I got you
as much time as I could.

I can meet you at
the restaurant with a truck,

today,
before the marshals come.

You can get everything
you wanna get out

before they come in.

Please, Vanessa.

- Okay, give me an hour.

I'll meet you.

- ♪ And a hundred million
songs ♪

♪ I feel stupid
when I sing ♪

♪ Nobody's listening to me

♪ Nobody's listening

♪

No and no.

He wanted me to bring him
six-pack of Bud

and a carton of cigarettes.
-

That must mean
he's feeling better.

- Yeah, honestly, I don't even
know why I brought him up here.

It was a 12 hour car ride,
him bitching the entire time.

He just kept working me,
and I caved.

- He's your dad.
He's got nobody else.

- Anyway, how long can it take
to regain muscle strength?

A couple weeks?

- It's not a straight line,
Rollins.

I had an aunt who had a stroke,
and she--

- No, no, but the doctors said
this was a mini-stroke.

- Yeah, either way, okay?
You can't predict recovery.

Being disabled's
the one minority group

you can fall into at any time.

- Okay, thank you, Dr. Carisi.

- You're welcome.
- Right here.

- Cannolis.

Very thoughtful.
- Mmm.

- Evie.

You take these for the girls.

- Okay.

- Jesus.

Everybody here is so old.

- You feeling okay?
- I'm fine.

She told you it
was a mini-stroke?

- She did, sir.

- They hadn't put me on bed
rest, I wouldn't need rehab.

- Well, we're gonna get going,
Dad.

Do you need anything else?
No beer or smokes, but...

- You're as fun as your mother.
- Mm-hmm.

You got yourself
a wonderful woman here, Sonny.

After all I put her through,

coming down
to help her old man,

blood is thicker than water.

- Please, Dad, we're not...

- Oh. Of course you're not.

What'd I tell you last time?

You and your losers.

Your problem,
you meet a nice guy,

and you think
he's too good for you.

- Okay.
Be good.

- I am Detective Tamin.
I'm here to help.

Can you please put down
the knife?

- I don't want to talk to you.
- Okay.

Just give me a chance.
We can talk this out.

- Are you gonna take me
to the hospital?

- Yes, we're gonna
get you help.

- No, I don't wanna go
to the hospital!

- Stand by.
You made an assumption.

You lost their trust.

De-escalation is listening.

You're on a tightrope holding
a bucket of nitroglycerin.

Breathe, stay calm.

You will never be more focused
in your life

or more alive
to another human being.

Who's next?

You two, come on up.

- I thought I'd walk.

Right?
It's such a beautiful day.

It feels good to move.

Just picking up takeout
from Vanessa's.

Yes, Kat,
they have healthy food.

Officer, what's going on?

- Not sure.
We got a call.

Crazy woman--

sorry, EDP--
pulled a knife.

- Olivia.
- Ira.

- It's Vanessa.
I have no idea what went wrong.

She was just supposed to hand
the keys to the realtor.

- Wait, what?
- We closed a week ago.

We've been under for a while.
They're pulling the plug.

Vanessa didn't want to hear it.

A realtor called
and said she was out of it,

acting strange.
They won't let me go inside.

- Okay, okay, all right.
They'll let me in.

- Get out!
Get out of my restaurant!

- Drop the knife!
Drop the knife!

- Drop it now.
- Officers.

Captain Benson, SVU.
I know this woman.

Vanessa.
Vanessa, this is gonna be okay.

- Who called you, Olivia?
Ira?

- No, I was just outside.
- Get out!

- Vanessa,
I just want to talk to you.

- Get out of here.

- Vanessa, please.
Don't do this.

- Drop it,
or I'm gonna tase you.

- Guys, I'm gonna ask you
to step outside now.

I will handle this,
and I will talk to her.

Holster your weapon, now.

I got this.
Call your supervisor.

Give me a level one and an HNT
and call my supervisor,

Deputy Chief Garland.

Vanessa.

Why don't you let him go,
and you I will--

- He wants to take
my restaurant.

- That's not me, Vanessa.

- You said the marshals
were coming.

I can't let that--
- I understand that,

and we can talk about that,
but not like this, okay?

Let's all walk out of here.

Come on.

What are you doing?
You don't need that knife.

Right?

Come on.

- Let me get my purse.
- Okay.

- Oh, my God.

- Vanessa, take it easy.

Look at me.

I'm here,
and I am listening to you.

- This is
my goddamn restaurant,

and no one is gonna
take it from me!

- Chief.
Good, you're here.

Trying to reach
the captain.

This is Precinct C.O. Hagan.

- Captain Benson's
in here alone?

- She ordered my men out.

- Yeah, she said
she knew the perp.

- I think you mean the owner.
- Whoever she is,

she's holding the real estate
agent and your captain hostage

with a kitchen knife.
- She's not answering.

- Does the restaurant
have a landline?

- They're not picking
that up either.

We're trying to set up
a mike in there.

Just so you know,
Captain Benson refused a vest

and a helmet.

- Yeah, that's because
she's trying to de-escalate.

- I get that,
but I would feel a lot better

if there wasn't
a civilian inside.

This woman
is clearly disturbed.

She refused repeated requests
to put down the knife.

She's making threats.

- Okay, have we called
Social Services?

- So another civilian
could be at risk?

We called Hostage Negotiation,

but you know how this goes.

Once ESU gets here,
they make the final call.

- Officers, I'm Ira,
the manager.

- So you know Captain Benson.
- For years.

- Can you tell us
what's going on?

- All these cops...

Vanessa's already on edge.
It's gonna freak her out.

- Get back!
What?

Get back!
- Vanessa, Vanessa.

I am a friend.
Come on.

I've been coming here
since you opened.

- Yeah, so tell them
they can't close me down!

It's my customers'
home away from home.

- My heart's racing.
I'm hypertensive.

- And I wanna talk,
and I wanna hear more,

but first,
what is your name, sir?

- Joey.

Joey Leonard.

- Let Mr. Leonard go,
and then we can talk.

- He's not leaving.

- At least let him sit down,
because what you don't want

is him passing out
on your kitchen floor.

- Sit down.
Sit down!

- Okay.
- All right, Mr. Leonard,

breathe through your nose,
okay?

- Okay.

Breathe through my nose.

- Now you can tell him
I can't lose this place.

- You know
that's not my decision.

It's the brokerage company.
- Oh.

- They wanted to send in
the marshals, not me.

- How about you call
the company,

and you maybe ask
for an extension, okay?

- I tried, but she's had four.

- Mr. Leonard.

- Oh--I--I could try again.

- Yes, you can.

So Vanessa, Vanessa,
let him make some calls okay?

And that way,
you don't have a hostage.

- I am holding him hostage!
He's holding me hostage!

40 people on my staff,
and I had to let everyone go.

There is a moratorium
on evictions.

No, they found a clause
in my lease!

You don't care
about this neighborhood

or my sweat and my blood.

- Vanessa, you don't need him.

Let him go, and then you
and me, we'll talk.

We'll talk through all of this,
just us.

- They want me out of here?

They can take me out in a box.

- Dad.

- Transient ischemia,
symptom onset 45 minutes ago.

- Pressure's 180 over 95.
Pulse thready.

- 20 milligrams of Activase.

- I'm sorry, what is happening
to my father?

- He's being taken care of.

- His rehab facility told me
that he fell.

Is he having another stroke?

- Ma'am, the doctor will update
you as soon as we know more.

You need to fill out
some paperwork.

Here.
Waiting room is that way.

- I take it you notified
the borough commander.

- Not me.
This has gone viral.

I'll let him know the SVU
deputy chief is on the scene.

- I just did.
- They're coming out!

- All right, we need blankets!

- Officers, stand down!
Stand back!

Clear the door!
- Don't shoot!

- I got him.
I got him.

- Aw, jeez.
Pissed myself.

- Here, cover it with this.
Is Captain Benson, okay?

- Yeah.
- What's happening in there?

- Vanessa's lost her mind.
I've known her 20 years.

She's not the same person.
She's had a complete breakdown.

- Okay, but she and the captain
are talking?

- More like Vanessa's yelling
how she's not leaving,

waving that gun around.

- Gun?
What kind of gun?

- What do I know from guns?
- I'll tell ESU.

- I have Vanessa's husband
on cell.

- You must be exhausted.

Can I get you to make us
a cup of coffee?

- After that snow in February,
no one came in.

I gave everything away
to the soup kitchen.

Just trying to hibernate
till winter got warmer.

- Okay, well, I can, uh,

I can get the guys
to get us something.

- What's still open?
Dollar-slice, bad Chinese?

Everybody else went under.

- I know,
it's been a horrible year,

but I could have them
bring us in some groceries.

- You know, I really thought,

"Just give it a few weeks.

People would vaccinated."

Then they would come back.

- I know.

This is my chief.

He's got Eddie on FaceTime.

- Eddie?

I haven't spoken to Eddie
since Thanksgiving.

His parents needed help,

so he's like, "Oh, I'm gonna
go for a few weeks."

He lied to me like Leonard.

Like everybody.

- Okay, but Eddie's worried
about you.

I mean, Ira is outside.

I mean, he's the one
who called Eddie, and--

- Ira? Everyone else deserted
me but him.

I can't even get rid of him.

- Vanessa.

- Vanessa?

What's going on?
The cops didn't tell me much.

- Now you're worried about me?

- Ira says you're having
a bad day,

that things are
spinning out of control.

- Things have been
spinning out of control

for the last year.
Eddie, don't you remember?

You lost your job,
and then you sat on the couch

for eight months
watching "Jeopardy!"

- What was I supposed to do?

Look, I was just worried
about you.

You're blaming me.
- Sorry.

'Cause it's never your fault,
is it?

- I'm taking a COVID
rapid test now.

Going straight
to the airport.

- You're coming back now?

No, that's too late,

because didn't you say
it wasn't the pandemic?

No, that made it clear
that we were running on fumes.

- Don't use the worst thing
I said

on the worst day against me
and let it define us.

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.

I'm sorry I called.

- I'm glad you called.
Goodbye, Eddie.

- No, Vanessa, wait a minute.
Don't hang up.

Vanessa--

- Vanessa, are you okay?

- Yeah.

Screw him.
It's over.

- Eddie loves you.

- Eddie loves the idea of me.

What Eddie really loves
is his horn.

He had an old lady
who let him play

and took care of him,
but you know what?

I said goodbye,

and he can't
hold it against me.

- Vanessa.

- Get out.
Can you just leave me alone?

- So what?

So you can use that gun
on yourself?

I'm not leaving.
- Get out, or I will.

- You're not gonna shoot me.

- You don't think
I'm gonna shoot you?

Get out.

- Wait, what?
I'm sorry, what did you say?

- Ms. Rollins,
your father did suffer

a major CVA.
Cerebrovascular Accident.

- Accident?
Another stroke?

I'm not sure
it was an accident.

His doctor had him
on all these meds,

and he never stopped
sneaking cigarettes.

- Well, there were
a lot of factors.

It's not about blame.

- And he also
never stopped drinking.

- Is there anyone else
in his life?

He had on a wedding ring.
Was he widowed?

- Divorced twice.

He got remarried last year,
but she's not coming.

Neither is my mother,
so I guess you could say

his relationship status
is abandoned.

- So you have
power of attorney?

- Do you know if your father
has a living will?

Any healthcare directives?

- No.

I have no idea.

- Why don't I send someone from
Patient Support Services over?

- Why don't you do that?

- Hi, Rollins.

- He's going to die.
- The doctor said that?

- No, but he was talking
about a will.

I mean, you figure it out.

- Okay, listen.
Rollins, sit down.

-
- Just sit.

- All right, look.
I'm here.

I'm here as long
as you need me.

- Okay.

'Cause you're the only one
that picked up.

I called
and left Liv two messages

and nothing.

- What, so you don't know
what's going on?

-
Yeah, I got the call

that they were rushing
my dad here,

so I did U-turn
on the West Side Highway.

What?
- Liv's in a situation.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Snipers already?

Can't we hold them off?
- Standard protocol.

The hostage she released
described the EDP

as "out of her mind,"
told us that she had a gun.

- Okay, Captain Benson's
in there with her

trying to walk her out.

- Your captain wouldn't let us
put mikes in there,

and we can't monitor
without them.

We're in the dark here.

- Do we have any sense of
what the hostage taker wants?

- She's upset, she doesn't
wanna lose her restaurant.

- There's nothing
we can do for her

while she's holding
an NYPD captain hostage.

- We're trying to set up
a clear shot.

- Look, this woman
is not a criminal.

She's not insane.

She's in a crisis.

Captain Benson can handle that.

- This year,

I thought everything
was gonna turn around,

but it just kept getting worse.
- I know.

- Every morning I wake up

and just for a few minutes
I think of calling Ira,

check on the reservations,
and then I'd remember...

And then I'd put a shot

in my coffee.

What was that
Tennessee Williams line?

I would wait for the click,

the click that
made me feel peaceful.

I'd wait for that click,

but then it stopped kicking in.

Do you want some?

- I do,
but you know I can't.

Vanessa, have you
ever thought about,

you know, talking to somebody?

Maybe getting some meds?

- I don't have
health insurance.

I have insurance on this place,
like, rent, electric,

but how I would I pay
for a psychiatrist?

- There's lots of options
out there, you know?

There's a sliding scale.
There's of different--

- Yeah, and they weren't
supposed to evict me

in the middle of all this,

but where there's a lease,
there's a way.

I can't talk to, like,
a stranger on a phone,

and drugs don't work.

I mean, Eddie had this--

he was a hypochondriac.

He had a bunch of pills
in his Dopp kit,

and after my mom died,
I chewed on some of those.

You know what they did to me?
They gave me crazy dreams.

I'd see this place,
like, packed,

and I'd be walking through.

My trio's in the corner,

and I'm refilling
the wine glasses,

and then I'd wake up
freaking out.

Like, why is no one
wearing their masks, you know?

- I'm so sorry.

I didn't know
about your mother.

Was it COVID?

- I couldn't actually
say goodbye to her

on FaceTime.

Maybe we're all dead

because, like, all this Zooming

and FaceTiming and--

Maybe it's where you go
in the afterlife.

Like,

we can't see anyone.

Like, we can't hug them...

but they're all there,
but no one's there.

Like, everyone has left.

- I'm here,
and I'm not leaving.

I just wish that
I could give you a hug.

- Don't try anything.

Get back, get back,
and sit down.

Further.

Sit.

Hands where I can see them.

- Do you need some help
with this?

- Do you happen to know

my father's
social security number?

- What's his
financial situation,

if you don't mind me asking?

He's got health insurance
at least?

- How would I know, Carisi?

- Well, he's gotta be 65.
He's probably on Medicare.

- No one knows how old he is,

and Medicare's something
you have to file for, right?

This man hasn't paid his taxes
in 15 years.

Cash only.

- Well, hold on,
how are you handling the rehab?

- I put a card down.
- What?

- I had him
push off the paperwork.

- You telling me you didn't
talk about this at all

on the whole car ride up?
- Amanda?

It's me.
Amberlynn.

Your stepmother.

-
Okay.

What are you doing here?

- I'm gonna let that go.

You must be under
a lot of stress.

- Did the hospital call you?

- Your mother did.

She can't come, obviously,

taking care of three
little kids, your girls,

Kim's son.
- Okay, whoa.

How you doing?
I'm Sonny Carisi.

Amanda and I work together.

-
Oh, thank God she has someone.

It's not very feminist of me,

but I always found it such
a relief to have a man around

in these situations.
- Right.

- How's Big Jim?
Can I see him?

- Mmm-mmm.

- I think he's still sedated.

- Oh, my God.

Is he gonna die?

I so wish you'd come down
to the wedding.

That really broke his heart.

- The wedding in the middle
of a pandemic, right?

Where were you last week
when he had his first stroke?

- He wouldn't want me
to see him that way.

He's so proud

that the last thing he'd want
is to be helpless.

He always wanted to go out
on his own terms.

- Hmm.

- Have they asked you
about a DNR?

Do-not-resuscitate.

- Stop trying
to talk me out of it.

I have spent months
trying to count my blessings

and show gratitude,

and everyone keeps saying,
"Don't let COVID defeat you."

Well, you know what?

No restaurant,
no husband, no son.

Oh, COVID won.

I'm tired of fighting.
- What do you mean no son?

How is Nate?
He's up at college.

- He dropped out.
I don't know where he is.

He doesn't speak to me.
I don't blame him.

- Blame him?
What happened?

- He comes home, you know,

the dorm's closed again
this fall,

he comes back,
and he can't handle quarantine,

and I keep warning him,
a hundred times, Nana's old.

Like, "Gotta be careful."

No, he goes out,
hangs out with his friends.

- Vanessa, he's just a kid.
- My mom got sick that night.

And I told him I hated him,
selfish, and it was his fault.

I threw him out,

and I was like,
"I never wanna see you again."

I told my own son
that I hated him,

and I can't take that back.

- You can, and you have to try.

- He won't speak to me.

He's blocked my calls
and taken me off social media.

I called his friends, and
they told me he needs space,

to leave him alone.

I have no idea where he is,
and you know what?

Even if I did, it's too late.

- You know what, Vanessa?
I get it.

You're done.
I hear you.

If this is how you
want to end things...

I'm not gonna stop you...

But you have to tell your son

that you're sorry
for what you said.

And that you forgive him

because you cannot

let that boy carry that load

with him for the rest
of his life.

♪

- We'll find him, Captain.

Stay safe.

- What'd she say?

- Vanessa has
a 19-year-old son, Nate.

He moved out months ago,
they're not speaking,

but Captain Benson
thinks if we can find him,

it might help end
this situation.

- And we're hearing
about this now?

What the hell is she
even doing in there?

- Establishing rapport.

- The borough commander's
called four times.

What do you want me
to tell him?

- I'll talk to him.

We already have
a small army out here.

We don't need another general.

- You mean a chief
with one more star than you?

Sorry, Chief.
- We're all stressed.

I'm sure Captain Benson
more than all of us.

"Beloved Neighborhood Chef
Taken Out by NYPD Snipers."

I'm sure the borough commander
doesn't want those headlines.

Detective Tamin, find the son.

- We have an address,
phone number?

- Manager might know.

- Okay.
Hey, Ira.

- Excuse me.

So many people came out.

Our customers, former employees
trying to help now.

They started
a GoFundMe campaign.

I wish I had thought
of that earlier,

but we just got paralyzed.

- Ira, do you know
Vanessa's son, Nate?

- Yeah, since he was a kid.

What happened with him
and Vanessa was...

- Do you know where
we can find him?

- No, I don't, but Eddie might.

Those two are back in touch.

I've been keeping that
from Vanessa.

- Okay.
Come on.

- Nicole, it's me.

I'm still tied up.
Can we raincheck tonight?

All right, sorry.

I'll call you tomorrow.
Bye.

- Hey, look,
if you have other plans...

- No, it's all good.
Where were we?

- Amberlynn.
- Eh.

- So she ditches him
the moment he gets sick,

and now she thinks
he's gonna die,

she waltzes back in here so she
can play his grieving widow?

- Well, she's his wife.
She's got a right to be here.

- No.
She just wants his money.

- I thought you said
he didn't have any money.

- Well, she's not here
for his health.

I mean, there's gotta be

something in a storage facility
or under a mattress.

I'm calling my mom.
I'll bet she'll know.

- You can see him now.
We think he can hear you,

but he's still struggling
with speech.

- Oh, good.

- I understand
his wife is here.

- She went out for a smoke.

That's his daughter
right there.

- And you're her husband?

I can let you two in the room.

- Right.
Thanks, Mom.

The good news, Dad has been
lying about his age,

so we can apply for Medicare.
- The nurse said

he can have visitors now.
Should we get Amberlynn?

- No. She's probably outside
talking to her boyfriend

figuring out how to spend
the insurance money.

Something else Mom told me--

she made him take out
a life insurance policy.

-
- Daddy?

- Mandy.
- Don't try to talk.

It's okay to be tired.

And the folks here

are figuring out the best
way to take care of you,

and I called Mom up,

and we're gonna work
this thing out, okay?

- You're looking good,
Mr. Rollins.

You're through the worst of it.

-
Yeah.

- Jim, it's me.
It's Amberlynn.

-
- Hey.

- We should go.
- No, stay.

- Daddy, it's okay.
It's okay.

Daddy, we're here.
We're here.

- Have they found Nate?
- They know where he's staying.

- Who told them?
Ira?

Eddie.

The two of them.

Eddie and Nate, one's out
of work, one's out of school,

they just sat there blaming me

as if the whole pandemic
was my fault.

- Nobody knows what to do

or what to say, nobody.

- You don't either.

I mean,
you haven't lost anything.

You have your job, your son.

- You know, what I do know

is that nobody knows what other
people are going through.

Right before the pandemic,

I lost my brother, Simon.

Overdose.

And you remember Ed Tucker?

- Yeah.
Guy you went to Paris with.

Those blue eyes.

Oh, my God,
I love when you came in here.

You were just so happy.
I mean, I know you blew it up,

but you should kind of
get him back.

- Hmm.

That's not gonna happen.

- No, you don't know that.
He adored you.

Like, anybody could see it.

- He's gone.

- COVID.

- Brain cancer,

and he killed himself...

Because he didn't want
to be a burden

to his new wife.

You know,
if I would've known that...

The last time I saw him,

that I would never
see him again.

- Sorry, I--I didn't know.

- This past year,
how can you keep track?

Yeah, but what I would've
said to him

or what I would've
said to Simon...

Simon was supposed
to meet me and Noah

on the day that he died,

and he never showed up,

and so I left him a message.

An angry message.

There's not a day that goes by
that I don't regret that.

- My mother's what?
- She needs you, Nate--now.

- She threw me out.
- We know.

She's locked herself
in the restaurant, okay?

She's gone off the deep end.

- That's not my mom.

- We think maybe
if she could see you.

- Why?

So she can tell me
I killed my grandmother again?

The pandemic's been hard
on me too,

but I'm not allowed
to complain about anything.

I've been bouncing around
from couch to couch.

They're supposed
to be the adults,

but they just
sat there drinking,

yelling at each other.

She should've let
that restaurant go,

taken care of Dad and me.
She has to let it go now.

- Look, Nate, we are past that.

Okay?
Your mom has a gun.

- What?

- You don't go see her now,
you may never have the chance.

- Nate, I know you're angry.

- She's never gonna forgive me.

My Nana's dead.
My dad's gone.

- And I know you don't wanna
lose your mother too.

She needs you, Nate.

Please.

- You need to go to bed, Jesse.

I know Grandma
said you could call,

but you need to get some sleep,
okay, baby?

All right, I miss you.

- Hey, I heard from Kat.

- How's Liv?
- She's okay.

She's still inside,
but they're talking, so...

- How much longer
can all this go on?

- It's like I tell my mom,

"It's not endless,
it's just indefinite."

- How are your folks doing
with this?

- They're healthy,
thank God.

My mom cooks all day long.

My father complains,

"Sonny, I'm getting so fat.
You gotta stop this woman."

He loves it.

Loves it.
He reads a lot.

You know, they're putting on
a brave face.

They, uh,

they miss hugging
their grandkids.

And they're terrible at Zoom.

It's just--it's nose and mouth,
there's no eyes.

It's just nose and down,
and they...

-
Oh, God.

Oh.

Mmm, you said you wanted
to tell me something

before I went to Atlanta.

- Ah, you got enough
on your plate.

- Yeah.

What the hell am I gonna do
with Jim?

- Well, I mean,
his wife's here.

Why don't you let her deal?

-
No, I saw the look in his eyes.

He doesn't want anything
to do with her.

Yeah, and my dad is a force.

I've seen him drunk,

manic, high on life,
I've seen him angry,

but I've never seen him scared.

I don't know
if I can do this.

Carisi, like...

Be the grown up.

- You've been the grownup

for a while now,
Amanda Rollins.

- Yeah.

- Uh-huh.
That's great.

That's all I need.
Thank you.

- Oh, Jesus,
it's freezing in New York.

- Yeah.
- How's Big Jim?

- Still breathing.
Sorry.

- Excuse me?
- And I gotta tell you,

I've been doing
some checking up--

due diligence if you're gonna
be taking care of my father--

and did you know,

you have outstanding warrants
in Florida

for cashing bad checks,
forgery?

- Oh, I can explain that.
- Uh-huh.

'Cause now that I know that,
legally,

I have to arrest you
right now.

- Wait, what?

- But seeing as you're family
and all...

Actually, I'm not even
sure of that,

because I can't find
a record of divorce

from your first husband.

- It was kind of
a common-law divorce.

- Okay.
Well, considering everything,

the best thing for you
right now

is to leave the state.

Okay, so if you leave now,

as far as anybody knows,
I came back looking for you,

but you were gone.

- You can't tell me to leave.
- Okay, you wanna stay?

Because Jim is gonna
make it through this,

and he is gonna have
a long road ahead of him.

He's gonna need somebody
to take care of him,

feed him, take him to rehab,
change his diapers.

Honey, you're young.
You still have your looks.

That kind of caretaking, that's
gonna age your real fast.

- You know what?

You're right.

Tell Big Jim I'll call him.

- I sure will.

- Where's she going?
- Back to Atlanta.

- What did you say to her?

-
Mostly that she's young,

she should follow her dreams,

not be hitched
to a sick, old man.

- Any word on my son?

- Vanessa, they will call me.

- How will I see him
like this?

Like, crazy lady,

and there's all these cops,

and oh, my God,
when I get out there,

if they let me out there,
will I go to jail?

- Okay, you haven't
hurt anyone,

and you and I
have just been talking.

- I pulled a knife on Leonard--

- Because you were out
of your mind.

- I am.

Like, that's who I am.
I've lost it.

- We all have.
Today was your day,

which is helpful
because it means

that you didn't have the mental
capacity to form intent.

- What is happening to me?

- What happened to you?

Vanessa, you have been
taking care of everybody

for so long.

Eddie, Nate, your customers,

your employees,
the entire neighborhood.

Huh?
Who was taking care of you?

- No, no.

I take care of everyone.
That is my job.

- And Vanessa,

you need to learn

that it's okay

to ask for help.

- I don't even know
what that sounds like,

and it's too late.

Right?

- Your son is here.

He's outside, and he wants
to FaceTime.

- Hey, Mom.
What's going on?

- Um...

You know.

- Having a bad day?

There's cops out here,

reporters,
the whole neighborhood.

I know you wanted
to get some attention

for the restaurant,

but this seems...

- A little over the top?

- Yeah.
Maybe a little.

I love you, Mom.

Please come home.

- I love you.

- They're coming out.
Benson has the weapon.

- Hey.
You did good, Nate.

Come on.
Let's go wait in the squad car.

- Captain Benson coming out!

I'm okay!
We're okay!

- Stand back!
Stand down!

- You all right, Captain?
- I'm fine.

- I'm gonna have
to take her in.

- I'm gonna go with.

- Ira.
- Vanessa, thank God.

- I'm so sorry.

- She's okay.
- Yeah!

- What are
all these people doing?

- Rooting for you.

They didn't wanna see you
or the restaurant go down.

- No, the restaurant,
it's done.

- Maybe not.

Some customers
started a GoFundMe.

It's at $35,000.
- Oh, my.

- Even Leonard chipped in.

- Thank you, Olivia.

I'm okay.
You don't have to come with me.

You go home to your son.

- Today was the worst day
of your life,

and you made it through.

Remember that.

- How you doing?

- I'm exhausted.
- Yeah.

You saved a life.

Take a few days.

Let someone take care of you.

- Yeah.

♪