All language subtitles for Gortimer.Gibbons S02E19_English

Gortimer:
I've lived my whole life
on Normal Street.

There's a lake at one end,

and a forest of shady trees
at the other.

But what lies in between
is anything but normal.

Some days you wake up
with a spring in your step,

and a smile on your face.

The whole world is yours
for the taking.

Ed: We've had
the same conversation
a million times,

and it never changes.

Vicki: Because
you won't listen.

- I don't know why I bother.
- Ed: Neither do I.

Gortimer:
But then there are
the other kind.

Ed: You know what?
Just because you
want something

doesn't mean that
you should get it.

Gortimer: The days you wish
you never got out of bed.

Vicki: It is not about
what I want,

- it is about what I need!
- Ed: Oh...

Gortimer:
On those days...

things can get pretty...

- Vicki:
...in a different room!
- Ed: Good!

- [door slams]
- Ed: I appreciate it!

Gortimer: ...heavy.

♪♪

Just the guy
I was looking for.

- Your share.
- Share of what?

The proceeds.

I had a brilliant
business idea,

and Gortimer helped
make it a reality.

Wait.
Was this your secret
Popsicle plant?

No, no, no,
Popsicles have sticks.

These are Weasel Pops.

Frozen fun in a convenient
no muss, no fuss sleeve.

Squeeze the bottom and
pop goes the weasel.

I'm sold.
Give me three.

Well, I don't actually
have any more.

Sold out during
the Normal craft fair
this weekend.

You told me
you were gonna be
at your grandma's.

That's why I hired Gortimer
to work the booth.

Couldn't have done it
without you.

What can I say?
I'm the Weasel Pop
salesman of the year.

[chuckling]

Give us a minute.

Oh, this must be
some serious money.

Just don't forget
who your friends are.

Thirty bucks?

What'd I tell you?
Easiest money you'll
ever make.

But there was over
$200 in the cash box
when I finished.

Right, and I had to
cover all the costs.

It was 100 bucks
just to rent the booth.

- I did all the work.
- All the sales work,

for which you're
being paid.

Gortimer,
you sold them all.

That's amazing.

[school bell rings]

[sighs]

Hey.

What's up?

Gortimer: Everything okay?

Yeah. Fine.

Come on,
you can tell us.

I'm trying not to
think about something
right now,

and I'm pretty sure
talking about it involves
thinking about it.

And now you've got me thinking
about not thinking about it,

which is the same thing as
thinking about it.

I know how you feel.

But it can help to talk,
even if you kind of
don't want to.

If you don't
want to tell us,

you might check out
peer counseling.

I go sometimes.

Man: Okay.
Really good work.

All right? Remember,
you're in charge of you.

Okay.
See you next week.

Oh! Hello.

It looks like you're busy.
I can come back. Or not.

No, no, no.
Let's talk.

I'm Mr. Ross.
But please, call me Reggie.

I like to keep it "caj"
here at the PCC.

The Peer Counseling Center.

Okay, Reggie.

Hey. There you go.

So, what can I do for you?

Do you need to
talk to somebody?

Uh, I think we have
a slot open Wednesday,

and then one on Friday.

Sorry, we're a little
short staffed.

Unless there's something you
need to talk about right now.

Uh...

Actually,
I came to volunteer.

Really?
That's terrific.

I had a feeling
today was an upside down,
rainbow kind of day.

Come on.
Let me fill you in on
what you'll be doing.

Think of this as
a safe space.

Privacy is paramount.

- Respect it.
- Got it.

And listen.
That's what you're here for.

Totally.

People don't come to
Peer Counseling for advice.

They come to be heard.
To have someone...

- share their burden.
- Share the burden.

- Check.
- Okay.

You ready for
your first customer?

I don't think anyone is
really paying attention
to what I'm doing.

I mean, what's the point?

Maybe you need to
really figure out

who you're doing it for,
them or yourself.

I don't like
any of my friends.

But they're the only ones
who like me,

and I really, really
don't want to be alone.

Like, ever.

I'm here if you need me.

I just had to
get that off my chest.

Thanks.

I'm glad I could help.

This was good.

I actually feel lighter.

No, it's Addis Ababa.

Next,
capital of Botswana?

I just don't see how
she thinks it's fair.

So when you said you were
done talking about it,

you weren't actually
done talking about it?

I did all the work.
She wasn't even there.

I know she doesn't know it,
but it feels like Catherine
cheated me.

Gortimer,
what would you have done
on a Saturday

if Catherine hadn't
hired you to work the fair?

- Nothing.
- And now you have 30 bucks.

Sounds like a win.

But Catherine
wouldn't have had anything
if it wasn't for me.

So ask her for more money.

- It's not about that.
- It sounds like it is.

So you're taking her side?

Don't make this
into something
bigger than it is.

Fine.

Whoa.

Okay, uh,
who's here to see me?

Uh, okay.
Who's here to see Ranger?

Okay.
Uh, hold on.

- [voices overlapping]
- Girl: Why is chemistry
so hard?

Boy: I think I have mono.

Girl: There's no one
to ask to the formal.

- Boy: Why can't I bring
my dog to school?
- [creaking]

Girl: My brother's
leaving for college soon.

- Boy: Why is Mia
ignoring me?
- Boy: Is that normal?

[voices overlapping]

[creaking]

[voices overlapping]

[chair cracking]

[school bell rings]

Come on,
it's Make Your Own
Burrito day.

We can't be late.

[sighs]

Are you feeling okay?

Yeah. Fine.

It's just these new
super heavy thick socks.

Oh. Hey, is that
a sunbeam I see?

Nope, it's just Ranger,
my star peer counselor.

Wait, you're a
peer counselor?

Only the best
this school's ever had.

It is remarkable
how many students
have come up to me,

and said the same thing.

You take the weight
off their shoulders.

Great job, buddy.

- Thanks, Reggie.
- Hey, there you go.

The point was
to get counseling.

Turns out they needed it
more than I did.

I'm helping people.

Yeah, by taking the weight
off people's shoulders,

and putting it
on your own.

So I took out
how much it cost

to buy the pops
and rent the booth,

and gave Gortimer
30 percent of what was left.

Sounds fair to me.

I mean, he was only there
for a couple hours, right?

Exactly, but now
he's mad at me.

[sighs]
He shouldn't be.

It was your idea
in the first place.

But he did the work.

Who ran the stand?

Gortimer.

Who handed out the pops?
Gortimer.

But who reaped the benefits

from the comfort of
her grandma's sofa?

- I paid him.
- 30 bucks.

How's he gonna pay
the bills with that?

He doesn't pay any bills.

Not on that salary.

But, that's just
my two cents,

or 30 percent of
my two cents.

[alarm ringing]

[creaking]

[water running]

We find out about
the extra charge
on the phone bill?

It was a mistake.
They took it off.

[sighs]

Hey, Dad.
Egg said he's getting in
some cool new fishing rods.

Maybe time to take
a trip to the lake?

Uh-huh.

Oh, and Mom.
I've almost perfected
my figure 8 bagel.

I'm thinking of calling it
the Infina Bagel.

It could be
our next big thing.

That's great.

[rumbling]

[locks rattling]

When did that
start happening?

This morning.
I've been sticky all day.

Am I magnetic?

That's not magnetism.
That's gravity.

[sighs]
My old nemesis.

This is serious.

Things could get
out of hand.

Mel: Gravity is the force
exerted by two masses
upon one another.

The Earth pulls on you,
you pull on the Earth.

It's just that the Earth
has a lot more mass.

If you start gaining mass,

you're gonna start
pulling on everything
around you.

At first,
it'll be little things.

Ranger: That's not so bad.

Mel: But the more the mass,
the greater the pull.

Ranger: That's annoying.

Mel: And the more
you attract,

the more mass you'll have,

which means
even more gravity.

You'll start pulling in
bigger things.

Ranger: Like how big?

Mel: That big,
and even bigger.

- [horse neighing]
- [cow mooing]

Mel: And if it continues,
you'll snowball until...

Ranger: Everything
works out okay in the end?

Mel: Until
the gravitational force
exceeds the nuclear force,

and you collapse into
a singularity.

Your irresistible gravity
swallows the Earth,

and the entire
solar system.

Light itself
can't even escape.

The laws of physics
collapse,

and you become
a black hole.

I need to quit
peer counseling.

One second.

Uh, perfect.
Great. Bye.

Just the man
I was looking for.

I need to talk to you.

Okay, hold that thought.
You've booked your first
group session.

[sighs]

Ooh. Slow and steady.
There we go.

- Catherine: I know that's
a long time.
- Abigail: That's a long time.

Reggie: Hey, guys.

Ah, fish sticks.

Ooh. Language.

You said
we'd be partners.

I meant like we'd be
working together,

not splitting things
50/50.

- It was my idea.
- But I sat out in the
hot sun for hours,

and sold until
I got hoarse.

I sold more product than
any other vendor out there.

This is pure
exploitation.

You guys are just
being pig-headed.

Gortimer: Pig-headed
is better than greedy.

- [rattling]
- Stan: You've got to be
kidding me.

Catherine: You need to
let this go.

That's it.
We're starting a union.

Catherine:
You can't unionize.
You don't have a job.

Stop!

This isn't gonna work.
Gortimer, I'm your friend.

And I'm Catherine's
friend, too.

[rattling continues]

I can't be impartial.

You need a mediator
who doesn't have any
skin in the game.

Someone who knows
all about business,
and really gets it.

I don't get it.

Well, we came to you
because you're a
respected business owner.

Uh, maybe the most
respected business owner

on all of Normal Street.

We just need someone to
tell Gortimer he's wrong.

Can you help us?

I can help you if you're
buying something.
Please buy something.

Your honor,
Stanley Zielinski
for the plaintiff,

if it pleases
the court.

I'm not a judge,
this is not a court,

and you're definitely
not a lawyer.

On the grounds
of Mr. Gibbons'

well documented excellence
in salesmanship,

and the imprecise nature
of his verbal contract
with Miss Dillman,

I move that you
enforce an order

to summarily split
the profits equally.

Minus, of course,
Mr. Gibbons' legal fees.

Half? I put up
all the money,

I took all the risk.

And I did all the work.
It's only fair.

Easy. Easy.
I know what
the problem is.

Let me tell you guys
a little story.

When I was in college,
my roommate Phil

was really big into
turkey jerky.

Had his own dehydrator
and everything.

But what he didn't have was
a steady supply of seasoning.

And that's where I came in.

Well, he pulled up but
the back of the pick up

was still full
of live turkeys.

[chuckles] I said,
"What the hibbity heck,
Phil?" Right?

Ostriches will eat
anything they can catch,

including humans.
I'm not kidding.

Yeah. A weird bunch.

They had just rows
and rows of teeth.

Nothing can hold
their breath that long,

not even an alligator,
which is renowned in
the animal kingdom

for being able to
hold its breath
for up to a day.

We weren't gonna use just
any little thermometer,

we wanted to use the
biggest thermometer
in Kansas.

Long story short,
[laughs]

I got a full refund.

That's how I roll.

And there were feathers
everywhere.

And that's when it
finally dawned on us.

Friends and business
don't mix.

Uh, um, what does that
have to do with us?

He means if you're serious
about running a business,

you shouldn't
hire friends,

because it will just
complicate things.

No, he means
when your friends help
your business thrive,

you should
reward them fairly.

You're being
unreasonable.

- [bell jingles]
- Wait.

We should have been
the ones to storm off.

Come on.

[sighs]

[alarm ringing]

[heavy thud]

[heavy footsteps]

Ow. Ow!

- [thudding]
- [groaning]

[heavy footsteps]

[heavy thudding]

- Ranger.
- Oh, no. Not now.
I can't take it.

You've gotta
talk some sense
into Catherine.

I can barely
lift my feet.

Listen, right now
it's two on two,

and my number two
is Stanley.

- I need you.
- No!

I've developed
my own gravity.

- What?
- Just get help.

- Go!
- I can't.

- [shoes squeaking]
- [grunting]

Okay.

- [grunting]
- Okay. That's weird.

Just-- just--
just don't panic.

All right. Uh,
we'll think of something.

You can't
out-think gravity.

Okay, then we'll try
brute force.

Just push on three.
One, two, three.

[straining]

Glad no one saw that.

Let's get out of here.

Yeah.

- You gotta
hang a left.
- Almost there.

Mel: Let me guess.

You didn't quit
peer counseling.

I tried,
but then Gortimer

got sucked into my gravity
and got stuck.

Please help.

How, exactly?

You know.
Science.

Can't you guys just whip up
some anti-gravity field or
something?

Come on, Catherine,
you're good at
this kind of stuff.

Oh, now you need help?

Gee, I don't know.

I mean,
what's in it for me
financially?

- Don't be like that.
- Be like what, exactly?

- Guys.
- All I wanted was to be
treated fairly.

I was being fair.
You were being greedy.

- [rumbling]
- Ranger: Stop it.
Stop arguing.

[squeaking]

[rattling]

It's getting harder
to breathe.

Catherine:
It's not my fault.

Mel: The fighting is
making it worse.

I can't take
any more problems
right now.

Can't you guys handle this
yourselves?

- You said we'd be partners.
- We weren't!

But here. I'd rather
give you the money

than fight with
a friend.

No, I-- I don't care
about the money.

I don't need to get paid
to help a friend.

I just couldn't stand
thinking that

you were taking
advantage of me.

I didn't think I was.

I should have been
clear up front.

Let's just forget
this ever happened,

and give the money away.

- [rumbling]
- I have a better idea.

We'll take all our profits
and re-invest.

Then we could start over.
As full partners.

I'd like that.

- [grunting]
- [clattering]

Ranger,
are you okay?

I can breathe.
I like breathing.

Yeah, glad we got that
off our chest.

Fighting with you was
really weighing on me.

Me, too.

[sighs]

Looks like you're
still carrying around
a lot of weight.

What's wrong, Ranger?

Why won't you tell us?

[sighs] Because
you can't fix it.

No one can.

Telling other people is just
spreading the burden.

Who wants that?

- I do.
- Me, too.

We're your friends.

That's what
we're here for.

It's about my parents.

I need to
talk to you guys.

I can't keep it
inside anymore.

What's wrong, pal?

Are you getting
a divorce?

- Oh, honey.
- What?

Why would you
think that?

You've been fighting
all week.

Oh, buddy.

You've got
the wrong idea.

We've been fighting about
a very expensive mixer for
the bakery.

It's not
that expensive.

It's not important.

You know, sometimes
a fight isn't about
what it's about.

Does that make
any sense?

I don't know.

Are you guys still mad
at each other?

No.

Well, okay, yes.
A little bit.

People argue.

That's not always
a bad thing.

It's better to
get feelings out than
to let them build up.

Even if they come out
a little louder than
they should.

So no divorce then?

Honey, we're fine.

We love each other
very much.

That hasn't changed.
And we love you.

Love you, too.

Come here.

Oh, whoa, buddy.
You're getting heavy.

Funny.
I feel lighter.

Gortimer:
When it comes to burdens,

we all carry our own.

But that doesn't mean
we need to let it
weigh us down.

The whole point of having
friends and family

is to help share the load.

And if you do...

you may find that life
isn't so heavy after all.

♪♪