All language subtitles for Gortimer.Gibbons S02E09_English

Gortimer, narrating:
I've lived my whole life
on Normal Street.

There's a lake at one end,

and a forest of shady trees
at the other.

But what lies in between
is anything but normal.

It's human nature
to label things.

Even people.

Labels are a quick,
easy way

to understand
the world around us.

But do they describe
the truth?

Or do they create it?

Take Stanley,
for instance.

Do people think he's a goof
because of how he acts?

Or is it
the other way around?

Guess how many islands
there are in Japan?

- Ranger: Four.
- Stanley: Five.

- Nine.
- Eleven.

6,052.

Closest. I win.

What's with the pop quiz?

I'm in mock world council.

I've been researching Japan
all week.

How come I never get picked
for stuff like that?

Do you want extra homework?

I didn't get picked.
I signed up.

Great. I'll sign up, too.
We'd be partners.

Uh, aren't you gonna
add water to that?

It's instant oatmeal.

The instant it
hits my stomach,
it becomes oatmeal.

Maybe mock world council
isn't for you, Stanley.

It's pretty serious.

I'm serious.

Classic, Stanley.

Can't you just
make up a category?

- The people have spoken.
- What's going on?

Class superlatives are in,
and I got nothing.

Not even "most unique name."

Superlatives are pointless.
Who cares about "best smile"?

I'm with Ranger.
Who wants to be labeled?

I bet Catherine does.
"Most likely to succeed."

That's ridiculous.

That shouldn't even
be a category.

What'd I get,
"best dressed"?

"Best drummer"?

"Best dressed drummer"?

"Class clown," of course.

Like there was any doubt.

Great.

I still can't believe
they eliminated

the "most helpful" category.
I was a shoe-in.

If you want to be most helpful
to Mel and Abigail,

we've got an idea.

Do we?

Oh. Yes, we do.

[giggling]

I feel like you're taking
advantage of my good nature.

Shh. The model
shouldn't speak.

Unless it's in Greek.

How do you say
"I'm starving" in Greek?

[sighs]
Just hold still
a little longer.

Almost done.

I have to get up.
My arm's asleep.

And, by the way,
I haven't gotten
any less hungry.

[sighs]
Quick break.

The model needs
sustenance.

I can't believe you guys
talked me into this.

What can I say?
I'm evil.

Yeah, well,
you could have at least
put me in a cooler pose.

You know,
something heroic, like--

You know what you need?
A sword or--

No.

This.

Behold, Perseus,
your winged steed
hath "arriven."

"Arroven."

Arrived?

[clattering]

[gasping]

My hand's asleep.

Mel's grandmother
gave this to her.

She's gonna be so mad.

What'll we do?

Well, we have to tell her.

Obviously.

[footsteps]

Change of plans.

All right,
I've got carrot sticks,

and cucumber slices.

What, no dressing?
I can't work like this.

[heavy sigh]

Mel:
Do you want
balsamic or ranch?

Both.

And don't forget about
the hummus.

[inaudible dialogue]

**

Thank you.

[music stops]

Maybe this isn't
a good idea.

Come on. What's cooler than
a Polynesian power ballad?

In theory, nothing,

but this feels
very "Stanley" to me.

You are Stanley.

If Gortimer's shorts
fall down in gym class,

it's embarrassing.

If my shorts fall down,
everyone cheers,

and it's "Classic Stanley."

I want people to
take me seriously.

I don't want people thinking
I'm a clown anymore.

Come to karate with me.
Master the martial arts,

and everyone
will respect you.

All right.

Huh! Huh! Huh!

Huh!

Well done, Catherine.
Thank you, Claire.

Who else wants to try?

[whispers]
No, Stanley, don't.

What's your name?

Stanley.

Very well, Stanley.

Begin.

Hyah.

[laughter]

Every journey begins with
a first step.

Thank you, Stanley.

That is all for today.
On your feet.

Bow.

Class dismissed.

Stanley. Wait.

Yes, Sensei?

You volunteered
on your first day,

despite having neither
knowledge nor skill.

That was brave,
but you lack focus.

What's bothering you?

I-- I feel like
everybody's just

expecting me to do
something dumb,

and it gets in my head,

and I end up
doing something dumb.

I want to be like her.

I want people to
take me seriously.

You sound just like me
when I was your age.

I might have
something for you.

When I was young,
I was impatient, undisciplined.

I couldn't find my center.

Like you,
I needed something
to help me focus.

Wow.

For me, the tiger is
a symbol of quiet power.

It helps me concentrate
my energy on the task at hand.

Maybe something similar
will help you.

Let this be your totem.

This is awesome.

Remember,
if you want people to
take you seriously,

first, you have to
take yourself seriously.

May this guide you
on that path.

So, I laid all the pieces out
on my work bench,

and the good news is
there are only 6 or 7 pieces.

That's not too bad.

And about 20 shards.

[sighs]

All we need is
a little glue and
a little time.

It'll be good as new.

Ranger: Come on,
where'd you get it?

Get what?

He's talking about
my ink.

Sick, right?

Sensei gave it to me
after class.

He said it would make people
respect me more.

A temporary tattoo?

Yeah, but that's what
makes it funny, right?

- Classic Stanley.
- [laughter]

This is not temporary.
It's the real thing.

Whoa.
Seriously?

You got
a real tattoo?

I like the design.

Very aggressive.

Did it hurt?
It looks like it hurt.

Yeah.

But I've got a
high threshold for pain.

One time, broke my arm,
didn't even notice.

I can't believe it.

I've been taking karate
for six months.

You take one class,
and boom--

You're a whole new Stanley.

- [laughter]
- Wow.

This is part of what makes
"Honest Abe"

one of the most enduring
figures in American history.

Without opening your books,

who can tell me other things
about Lincoln?

He wrote
the Gettysburg Address on
the back of an envelope.

- Teacher: Very good.
- Catherine: Ran for Senate
twice.

- Lost both times.
- Teacher: Anyone else?

Mr. Zielinski.

Anything?

Uh... he invented the penny?

[chuckling]

No, it's true.

I read somewhere that
he invented the penny.

That doesn't--

I guess that makes sense.

But I'm not seeing
anything here.

Well, I guess you can't
cram a great man's life

into one chapter.

[rattling]

Lincoln played
the saxophone,

and kept a pet zebra
in the basement of the
White House.

Teacher:
Fascinating.

This book is useless.

I should call the publisher
and complain.

Hey. Remember that time
you didn't invite me to
your party?

Actually,
you did invite me,
I just didn't show up.

Hope to see you
at the next one.

Just so you know,
my pants never fell down.

Not in gym class,
not at the pool,

and definitely never
in the cafeteria.

Meg, you and I are dating.
It's going great.

I can't wait for you
to meet my mom.

Unfortunately,
we just broke up.

Right here?
In front of everyone?

But it was your idea
and you're totally over me,

and we're still friends,
and you'll meet someone new.

I'm sure you will, too.

It just wasn't
the right time for us.

Stanley: Excuse me.
I have a special pass.

Excuse me.
Special pass.

Hi. Special pass.

I have a special pass.
Special pass.

Just so you know,
I need two scoops
of mashed potatoes.

I'm training for
the Olympics.

Bring home the gold, hon.

Thanks.

You know what?

You're the best lunch lady
in the country.

I love what I do.

Hey, what's up?

Everyone is
talking about you.

We've heard some things.

Some crazy things.

They're retroactively
named you

"best-dressed drummer"
for the past two years.

I heard you're exempt
from all detentions.

I've paid my debts.

And you got the lead role

in the school play.

The director
just had to have me.

- That's so exciting.
- And so cool.

That's so... Stanley.

Don't think of it as
a math problem.

Think of it as
a math conversation.

You'll be fine.

Thanks, man.
See you Saturday night?

It's gonna be crazy.

You're amazing.

Nah.
Still the same old Stanley.

Yeah. Same old Stanley
who has his pilot's license,

scaled Mount Normal
bare-handed,

and wrestled an octopus.

Whoa. Where'd you get
all that?

It's all over the school.

Well, you shouldn't believe
everything you hear.

Oh. Does that mean
you're not an origami master?

Um...

would it be good if I was?

Absolutely.

What can I say?
I like folding things.

Great.
Do you know anything else
about Japanese culture?

Mock world council delegates

have to give speeches
about their countries,

but it's always boring stuff
everybody already knows.

I need inside information.
I need a real expert.

Well...

you might not
believe this, but...

I'm part Japanese.

Really?

Yeah, my mom's side.

We left generations ago,
but my family goes way back.

Stanley:
This was during
the wild days,

when Japan had
descended into war,

and chaos.

And your ancestors
were there?

Right in
the middle of it.

In fact,
I'm actually descended from

the greatest shogun
of all time,

Stanimoto the bold.

He used
the power of his sword

to forge a new nation.

He conquered Mount Fuji,

and put his throne
right on top.

He built the
Great Wall of China--

In Japan?

Yeah. Then he...

moved it.

To China, as a favor
to his new neighbors.

After he retired,

Stanimoto invented
the bonsai tree,

because, let's face it,
there's nothing more fun

than pretending
to be a giant.

This is exactly
what I need.

Oh, I haven't even gotten to
the good stuff yet.

None of this stuff
came up in my research.

It's gonna blow them away.

Can't believe I never saw
this side of you.

Thanks.

This is gonna be great.

Gortimer:
I think it's an ear.

So, um, that would go
right about there?

Perfect.

I've got the muzzle.

And now we have to glue
everything in between.

[sighs]
We're gonna need
more hands.

That should do it.

Abigail: Okay.

Hand me the last piece.

That was the last piece.

It can't be.
We're missing the horn.

Maybe she won't notice.

It's Mel.
She noticed when I wore

the same pair of socks
two days in a row.

Abigail:
Maybe we need to
get her a new one.

I need your advice.
It's for a friend.

A famous friend?
Is it a movie star?

Are they making a movie
about your life?

Can I play you?

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Who'd play me?

Oh, duh! Gortimer.

- But--
- There's no movie.

Yet.

Anyway, this friend
may have told a couple lies,

and someone who
believed those lies

might possibly, probably,
definitely make

a complete fool of herself
because of it.

Can't he just
tell her the truth?

He's hoping there's
a way to fix it

without having to do that.

Can this friend stop her from
making a fool of herself?

He can't stop her,

but there is something
he can stop.

Stop the council!

Can I help you?

Call it off.
Call it all off.

I'm afraid the proceedings
have already begun.

No one is allowed inside.

But you have to let me in,

I'm the president of
mock world council.

Wow. It is such an honor
to meet you.

The honor is mine.
I just need to get inside.

Oh, I hate to
bring this up,

but we desperately
need new flags.

France and Italy have been
using the same flag
for six months,

and sooner or later,
someone's going to notice.

Fine. Great.
I'll triple your flag budget.

Catherine:
...atop Mount Fuji where
Stanimoto built his palace.

But the truly
interesting thing

about this great
island nation

is the number of
giant monsters

it has both spawned
and defeated.

Is this a joke?

No.

You may not know this stuff.
I just learned it myself--

Stanley: Everything
she's saying is true.

I'm an expert in
Japanese history,

so I can
vouch for her.

Also, I'm in charge of
the real world council.

So you have to do
what I say.

We really don't have time
for jokes, young man.

Oh, no.

Ms. Dillman,

is there anything
you'd like to add
to your presentation?

I--

No. I'm done.

I'm sorry.

- Hey.
- Hey.

So I've got good news
and bad news.

I found where we can get
the same unicorn,

but it's $300.

Oof! We're sunk.

We gotta tell her.

I'll do it.
It was my fault.

Well, I'm the one
that dropped it.

I shouldn't have messed with it
in the first place.

Besides, you and Mel
have been friends for years.

There's only one way
to settle this.

Rock, paper, scissors.

One, two, three.

Again.

You guys are weird.

Just go tell her together.

Hey.

What was that?

Why did you tell me
all that stuff?

Why did I believe you?

I totally
embarrassed myself.

I'm sorry.

I just wanted to help.

Well, instead,
you ruined it.

You knew this was
important to me.

I can explain.

I don't need excuses

from the class clown.

[sighs]
We broke your unicorn.

My what?

The unicorn head.

But it's okay.
Um--

Because I got you
a new one.

What?

[chuckles]

Guys, these are
really expensive.

I returned
some art supplies.

I sold some comic books.

[both chuckling]

We're sorry.

This is really sweet,
but--

I never really
liked that thing.

But your grandmother
got it for you.

Which is why
I was never allowed
to get rid of it.

If you really wanted
to make it up to me,

I probably would have
preferred comic books,

or art supplies.

[slamming]

Excuse me.

I know you all
probably hate me,

and... I deserve it,

because I lied.

A lot.

So, in case you haven't
figured it out,

I never wrestled an octopus.

I'm not from Japan.

I've never dated
a cheerleader.

In fact, I've never even
held hands with a girl.

I don't even know karate.

Well, I know one move.

But that's it.

But my biggest lie was...

pretending that I was okay
with being a joke to you.

The truth is...

it bothers me.

I guess I thought
getting laughs

was better than
being ignored.

Anyway, I-- I just wanted to
set the record straight.

I'm sorry.

[indistinct chatter]

Appreciate
the dedication, Stanley.

We're closing soon.

A few more minutes,
Sensei?

I've almost got it.

I have to say,
you seem more focused.

The totem must have worked.

I guess. It's been
a weird couple of days.

The road to wisdom
often takes unexpected turns.

He likes you,

Sensei Jeff.

And he's not
easy to impress.

About the other day.

I'm really sorry.

I just don't understand
why you lied to me.

It's 'cause I'm sick
of being class clown.

I just wanted everyone,
especially you,

to respect me.

That's not
the way to do it.

I know.

But what you did in the
cafeteria the other day
was really brave.

I couldn't have done that.

Standing on a table?

It's not that scary.

But you do have to
watch out for the
mashed potatoes.

Super slippery.

Sorry.

Can't help it sometimes.

No, funny is good.

I wish I was funnier
sometimes.

But there's
more to you than that.

So you're not
mad at me anymore?

Oh, I'm definitely
mad at you.

But that doesn't mean
we're not friends.

Come on.
Let me show you
a few moves.

You can be
my sparring partner.

Me? Seriously?

Seriously, Stanley.

Gortimer:
Sometimes we hide the truth

to avoid getting
in trouble.

Sometimes hiding the truth
is what causes

all the trouble
in the first place.

Being honest with yourself
can be hard.

But if you ask me,

it's worth all the trouble
in the world.

**