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>> Man, these raisins are good
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raisins.
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>> Yeah, man, it's like, your
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dad wasn't kidding when he said
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he had the freshest raisins in
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town.
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Man, this is--
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(dramatic music)
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>> What's wrong?
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>> It's my bully, man.
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He's coming.
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>> I'm sorry, where?
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>> What's up, butt-munch?
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>> Him?
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>> Yeah.
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>> Taste nurple, fart-mouth!
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>> Gaahh!
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(whimpering)
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>> You've got dork breath.
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>> Question.
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What the hell is wrong with you?
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>> Huh?
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>> You could punch right through
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that dude, easily.
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>> What's... punch?
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>> We've got a lot of work to
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do.
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**
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Yes! Yes!
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Yes!
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All right, Trevor, he's coming.
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Just like we practiced, all
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right?
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Knock his ass out.
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>> Hey, Walter.
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Who's got dork breath now?
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Ohh.
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>> Still you.
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>> All right, guys.
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Sales have been down for five
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consecutive months.
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Anderson Furniture is destroying
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us, and we have to fight back.
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First things first.
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Mike, you're fired.
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>> I don't believe this.
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>> That's how the furniture
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business works, baby.
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Second, we need someone who's
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aggressive, someone who's able
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to fight dirty, which is why
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I've hired our new manager.
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Hailing from parts unknown,
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"Rowdy" Roddy Piper!
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** (rock music playing)
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>> I have come here to kick ass
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and chew bubble gum and sell
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furniture.
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And I'm all out of bubble gum...
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and ass.
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(all cheering)
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>> Furniture! Furniture!
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(all chanting) Furniture!
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Furniture!
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(all cheering)
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>> Can I try out this bed?
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>> No problem.
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>> Hyuh! (gagging)
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Uhh!
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(woman screaming)
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>> Uhh! Agh! Ah!
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I'll take it.
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>> Oh, that-- yeah, yeah?
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>> Sold!
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>> Sold!
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>> Double axe handle!
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(both cheering)
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>> Does this chair have back
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support?
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>> Let's find out.
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>> (laughing)
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>> Yah!
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>> Uhh!
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>> (laughing) Yeah!
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>> Why'd you hit my husband with
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a chair shot?
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>> We did it!
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We're number one in regional
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furniture sales!
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(all cheering)
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>> Ladies and gentlemen...
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**
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(inhales) Mister...
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Anderson!
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Anderson!
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>> That's Mr. Anderson from
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Anderson's Furniture.
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>> I see that you guys hired an
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outsider to help you boost
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sales, huh?
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Yeah? Well, guess what?
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The main event starts...
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right now.
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>> This is absurd.
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We're professionals, not
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wrestlers.
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>> Mic check!
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Hyuh!
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>> Heard you were looking for
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us, Mr. Anderson.
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Ohh... well, here we are.
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So, well, if you're feeling
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froggy, why don't you just leap
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there, Rin Tin Tin?
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>> Yeah?
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>> Yeah.
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>> Ribbit.
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>> Uh, excuse me?
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Do you have any Papasan chairs?
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>> Yeah, we actually do.
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We have a big selection.
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All different colors, yeah.
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Blue.
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>> Ma'am? Ma'am.
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We have a huge selection of
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Papasan chairs.
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(overlapping chatter)
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>> Son, at some point in your
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life, you will be offered a
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cigarette.
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You start smoking early, you
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might develop a respiratory
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disease, which could lead to
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your untimely death.
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Please make the right choice.
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Don't smoke.
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I love you.
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>> I love you, too, Dad.
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>> Okay, let's get this money.
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>> Let's do this.
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(guns cock)
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Go on, get on the ground now!
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>> So we put-- put Rel in this
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baseball costume about two hours
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ago for this bit, but it's
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really hot out.
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He's been getting really mad.
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So we're about to do it, but I'm
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gonna walk over and tell him
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that it's been cut for the day.
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I'm sorry, I know you've been
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wearing this for a while, but
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they just said the light's not
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there, it's not gonna match, so
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ey're gonna cut this and
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they're moving our stuff out, so
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we're gonna do this again
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tomorrow.
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>> You gotta be (bleep) kidding
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me-- you serious?
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>> Yeah.
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I'm sorry.
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I swear, I came over to tell you
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'cause I knew you'd be--
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>> Do the camera people know?
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>> Yeah, they're all packing up.
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>> Why are they still shooting?
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>> (laughing)
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>> Are you serious?
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>> Yes, they're just--
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They were trying to match it up,
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but they can't.
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I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
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>> You ain't gotta apologize.
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>> Well, yeah--
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>> Once again, Rel predicts a no
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(bleep).
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>> I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
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I made it up, I made it up, I
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made it up.
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I made it up, I made it up.
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(laughing) I made it up, I
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promise, I swear to God.
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>> The (bleep) you do that for?
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Get the (bleep) away from me,
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Josh.
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(laughter)
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Straight up.
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>> Do you want me to be in this
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one?
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>> Go across the street.
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>> We all remember the wonderful
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sounds of the Beach Boys, but
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what about the forgotten legacy
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of those five black guys from
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California who also sang about
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the beach?
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Time-Life Music presents
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The Beached Brothers.
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Order the collection of amazing
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classics, and you'll get songs
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such as...
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>> And if you act now, we'll
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throw in their other regional
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hit, "Wouldn't It Be Nice to
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Watch the White Girls Swim While
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We Sit in the Sand?"
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>> And you'll also get a song no
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one remembers,
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"Dumb Dumb Dumb."
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>> It's The Beached Brothers.
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Order today.
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>> Honey, it's okay that you
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don't want to play soccer
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anymore.
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>> Look, it's not a bad thing,
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you know, if you don't like
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something or you want to try
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something new.
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>> We're actually glad that you
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felt comfortable telling us.
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We never, ever want you to feel
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like you can't change course and
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push your life in a new
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direction.
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>> Nothing has to be forever,
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okay?
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It's okay to change you.
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>> Mm-hmm.
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>> Okay?
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>> And you is always evolving,
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even when you're as old as Mommy
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and Daddy,
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which is why we're actually
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thrilled to tell you that...
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>> (both) We're getting a
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divorce!
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(both laughing)
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>> And this is your dad number
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two, Ronald.
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>> You ain't gotta worry about
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another mommy, because I'm never
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doing this again.
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(coin clinks)
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>> He's tiny.
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>> (both) Yo!
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>> Never stoppin',
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rager's poppin',
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Sig Sig Alpha!
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(both laughing)
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>> Man, this is the best
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rager of all time.
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>> Oh, hell yeah, man, I'm so
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turned up right now, dude.
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>> Oh, I can see it, man, I--
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There was moment where I almost
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turned down, but then I was
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like, "Turn down for what?"
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You know what I mean?
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You know what I mean?
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>> This is the best night of my
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life!
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(both howl)
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>> Be good, all right? Cool.
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>> You too.
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>> I'll catch you later with a
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girl in your lap probably,
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right?
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** (somber music)
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(both sobbing)
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>> I don't want to do this
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anymore.
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>> What am I doing, man?
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Why? Like, what?
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>> (both) Whoo!
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>> Never stoppin',
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rager's poppin',
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Sig Sig Alpha!
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>> Yeah, yeah, man! Whoo!
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>> Well, if it isn't the two
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coolest doolios in the worldio.
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>> (both) Bitch, yeah!
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>> I bet you those dorks in
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Cappa Si are studying.
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>> Yeah!
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>> Or painting (bleep) pictures.
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>> Who here wants a shot?
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>> Yeah!
289
00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:52,467
>> (all) Shot, shot, shot, shot,
290
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:53,627
shot, shot!
291
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,870
>> (sobbing)
292
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,430
No shots! No shots!
293
00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:04,503
No shots!
294
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:05,870
Ohh!
295
00:10:11,467 --> 00:10:13,627
(harp strums)
296
00:10:13,633 --> 00:10:15,003
>> Yo, um...
297
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,200
>> Hey, what up, bro?
298
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,230
>> I thought I just heard a harp
299
00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:18,673
in here?
300
00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:19,727
I mean, 'cause I could be wrong,
301
00:10:19,733 --> 00:10:20,803
but if I did hear it, I'd have
302
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,770
been like, "Yo, harps suck!"
303
00:10:22,767 --> 00:10:24,627
Heh! What's that?
304
00:10:24,633 --> 00:10:25,773
>> Oh, that?
305
00:10:25,767 --> 00:10:26,997
It's just two girls doing it,
306
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,400
bro.
307
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,870
>> Those are two chicks?
308
00:10:29,867 --> 00:10:31,567
Nice!
309
00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:34,527
** (somber music)
310
00:10:44,033 --> 00:10:45,733
>> You ever, like, you know,
311
00:10:45,733 --> 00:10:47,373
like...
312
00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:49,467
Just feel like you're
313
00:10:49,467 --> 00:10:50,227
pretending?
314
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,503
>> (all) Jell-O shots!
315
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:53,230
(all cheering)
316
00:10:56,333 --> 00:10:59,103
>> (all) Best night ever!
317
00:11:05,167 --> 00:11:07,327
(all sobbing)
318
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:10,073
** (Italian opera music playing)
319
00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:16,527
>> I just wanted to say sorry.
320
00:11:16,533 --> 00:11:17,273
>> Get the (bleep) away from me,
321
00:11:17,267 --> 00:11:18,067
man.
322
00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:20,467
>> I just wanted to say sorry.
323
00:11:20,467 --> 00:11:21,497
You look great in the baseball
324
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,400
thing, though.
325
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:24,570
Everyone over there thinks you
326
00:11:24,567 --> 00:11:25,497
look like a real baseball
327
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:26,800
player.
328
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,300
>> Shut up.
329
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:29,230
>> I really--
330
00:11:29,233 --> 00:11:30,073
I think you look like a real
331
00:11:30,067 --> 00:11:31,227
baseball player.
332
00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:36,367
>> Come on, Ma.
333
00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:37,427
Do I have to where this?
334
00:11:37,433 --> 00:11:38,733
I look like a day shift manager
335
00:11:38,733 --> 00:11:40,203
at Friendly's.
336
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,400
>> This is your first time
337
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,500
meeting with a recruiter, and I
338
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:44,370
want you to take this seriously.
339
00:11:44,367 --> 00:11:45,127
>> Ms. Jackson?
340
00:11:45,133 --> 00:11:45,973
>> Yes.
341
00:11:45,967 --> 00:11:46,597
>> Nice to meet you.
342
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:47,500
>> Hi.
343
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,700
>> And you must be T.
344
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:49,600
>> Yeah, how you doing?
345
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:50,600
>> Have you thought about your
346
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:51,470
future, T?
347
00:11:51,467 --> 00:11:52,527
>> Not really.
348
00:11:52,533 --> 00:11:54,833
>> I know you're only 16, but
349
00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:56,733
you have so much potential.
350
00:11:56,733 --> 00:11:57,533
>> Really?
351
00:11:57,533 --> 00:11:58,473
>> Oh, yes.
352
00:11:58,467 --> 00:11:59,167
We've been keeping track of
353
00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:00,227
you for years.
354
00:12:00,233 --> 00:12:02,133
You could be one of the greats.
355
00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:03,603
(chuckling)
356
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:04,870
Hey, come on, I'll show you
357
00:12:04,867 --> 00:12:05,727
folks around the place.
358
00:12:05,733 --> 00:12:07,073
>> both: Okay.
359
00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:08,797
>> We have a vast library and
360
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,370
resource center, not to mention
361
00:12:10,367 --> 00:12:12,267
a brand-new quad with over 5,000
362
00:12:12,267 --> 00:12:13,667
comfortable beds.
363
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:14,867
Now, there's absolutely no need
364
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:16,267
to worry about being homesick
365
00:12:16,267 --> 00:12:17,327
because we've got an incredible
366
00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:18,633
support staff.
367
00:12:18,633 --> 00:12:19,573
What can I say?
368
00:12:19,567 --> 00:12:21,067
This place is the best.
369
00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:22,497
You're going to absolutely love
370
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,330
going to Pike Penitentiary.
371
00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:27,133
(cell door clanking, slams)
372
00:12:27,133 --> 00:12:29,703
>> Uh, so Mr. Edwards, Ma?
373
00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:31,300
Like, I appreciate the tour, I
374
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,070
really do, it looks great,
375
00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:35,167
but I've already narrowed my
376
00:12:35,167 --> 00:12:36,827
choices down to Riker's and
377
00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:38,073
Attica State Penitentiary.
378
00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:39,167
>> Riker's?
379
00:12:39,167 --> 00:12:40,667
That's not even a prison, son,
380
00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:42,627
that's a-- that's a jail.
381
00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:44,203
Are you trying to ruin your
382
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,070
street cred?
383
00:12:45,067 --> 00:12:46,167
>> No, no, no, no, no...
384
00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:47,497
>> And Attica, that's--
385
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,800
That's a government institution.
386
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,300
Pike is privately owned.
387
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:52,270
>> Privately owned?
388
00:12:52,267 --> 00:12:53,127
>> Yes.
389
00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:54,803
That's what's popping right now.
390
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,770
All the top criminals are going
391
00:12:56,767 --> 00:12:58,067
to private prisons.
392
00:12:58,067 --> 00:12:58,927
Enough of my yakking.
393
00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:00,233
Why don't we go to the video?
394
00:13:00,233 --> 00:13:01,133
Uh, take a look at this.
395
00:13:01,133 --> 00:13:01,933
>> Okay.
396
00:13:01,933 --> 00:13:02,703
>> Yeah.
397
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:04,130
>> announcer: Come to Pike, the
398
00:13:04,133 --> 00:13:05,933
best in criminal detention.
399
00:13:05,967 --> 00:13:07,597
We have the lowest unintentional
400
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,270
sodomy rates in the country
401
00:13:09,267 --> 00:13:11,127
and a plethora of diverse clubs
402
00:13:11,133 --> 00:13:14,633
like the Crips, Bloods, and
403
00:13:14,633 --> 00:13:15,573
Aryan Brotherhood.
404
00:13:15,567 --> 00:13:17,597
At Pike, you get your own toilet
405
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:18,730
that you share with only one
406
00:13:18,733 --> 00:13:20,133
other roommate.
407
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,203
Pike.
408
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,470
Your private prison palace.
409
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:24,870
>> And you know, Pike also has a
410
00:13:24,867 --> 00:13:27,067
very impressive alumni network.
411
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:27,867
>> Wow.
412
00:13:27,867 --> 00:13:28,627
>> Mm-hmm.
413
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:29,433
Plaxico Burress.
414
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:30,133
>> Plaxico Burress?
415
00:13:30,133 --> 00:13:31,073
>> Martha Stewart.
416
00:13:31,067 --> 00:13:32,067
Tim Allen.
417
00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:32,697
>> Tim Allen?!
418
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:33,330
>> Mm-hmm.
419
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:34,403
>> Tim Allen's hilarious!
420
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,570
I love "Galaxy Quest."
421
00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:36,467
>> Oh, "Galaxy Quest."
422
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:37,567
>> both: "Never give up.
423
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:38,297
Never surrender."
424
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,130
(both laughing)
425
00:13:40,133 --> 00:13:41,433
>> Tim Allen's so funny!
426
00:13:41,433 --> 00:13:42,773
>> Damn right, and you know how
427
00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:44,067
he got to be so funny?
428
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:44,867
>> How?
429
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,827
>> By (bleep) with us here at
430
00:13:46,833 --> 00:13:48,203
Pike Penitentiary.
431
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,270
>> Well, damn, all right.
432
00:13:49,267 --> 00:13:50,467
(laughter)
433
00:13:50,467 --> 00:13:51,227
Well, I guess I'll think about
434
00:13:51,233 --> 00:13:52,073
it, you know, I...
435
00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:52,727
>> All right, 'cause that's the
436
00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:53,403
kind of experience you can have
437
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,070
here.
438
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,067
>> Oh, thanks, I appreciate it a
439
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:56,067
lot, so I guess I'll be going.
440
00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:57,197
>> T, I'm your father.
441
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,070
I've been in here since you were
442
00:13:58,067 --> 00:13:58,867
two, and I can't stop moving, or
443
00:13:58,867 --> 00:14:00,167
they'll beat my ass.
444
00:14:00,167 --> 00:14:01,697
Looking good, Doris!
445
00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:03,630
>> (gasping)
446
00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:04,933
That was my father?
447
00:14:04,933 --> 00:14:08,273
>> Yeah, it is.
448
00:14:08,267 --> 00:14:09,327
>> Hey, now, whoa, whoa, whoa!
449
00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:10,633
Where you going, son?
450
00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:11,403
>> I'm gonna go commit some
451
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,070
crimes, man.
452
00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:13,267
I'm going to Pike Prison!
453
00:14:13,267 --> 00:14:14,727
(laughing) Up here!
454
00:14:14,733 --> 00:14:15,773
I loved you in "Green Mile"!
455
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:17,067
(laughing)
456
00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:18,067
What up, ho?
457
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,697
Give me high-five!
458
00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:21,200
Enjoy your sandwiches!
459
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,070
(laughing)
460
00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:30,173
>> Mom, how come there are
461
00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:32,327
firemen and no firewewomen?
462
00:14:32,333 --> 00:14:33,833
>> Excuse me?
463
00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:35,103
>> Like, how come there are some
464
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:36,400
jobs that women aren't allowed
465
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,270
to do?
466
00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:38,867
>> Now, you listen to me.
467
00:14:38,867 --> 00:14:40,727
You can be anything it is that
468
00:14:40,733 --> 00:14:42,073
you want to be.
469
00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:43,067
>> Really?
470
00:14:43,067 --> 00:14:44,327
>> Yes.
471
00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:45,273
Now, you're gonna hear a lot of
472
00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:47,297
noise from the outside world
473
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:48,330
about how, because of your
474
00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:49,873
gender, you should or shouldn't
475
00:14:49,867 --> 00:14:52,067
do something.
476
00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:55,327
But your only job is to be you,
477
00:14:55,333 --> 00:14:57,773
because you are a talented,
478
00:14:57,767 --> 00:15:00,797
beautiful, smart human.
479
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:01,930
And you're gonna be amazing at
480
00:15:01,933 --> 00:15:03,233
whatever job it is that you
481
00:15:03,233 --> 00:15:04,303
choose.
482
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:05,770
I chose to rid the world of Jedi
483
00:15:05,767 --> 00:15:08,067
scum by traveling to Endor and
484
00:15:08,067 --> 00:15:09,427
burning Ewoks out of their tree
485
00:15:09,433 --> 00:15:10,733
homes.
486
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,070
Love you!
487
00:15:15,067 --> 00:15:16,227
And don't stay up too late.
488
00:15:16,233 --> 00:15:17,703
We have church tomorrow.
489
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:19,670
>> Kill an Ewok for me?
490
00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:22,327
(whoosh)
491
00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:34,827
>> Have you ever dared to dream?
492
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:35,903
>> Son...
493
00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:36,970
You're throwing your life away.
494
00:15:36,967 --> 00:15:39,067
** (rock music)
495
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:39,867
>> Why can't you just believe in
496
00:15:39,867 --> 00:15:40,527
me?
497
00:15:40,533 --> 00:15:41,473
>> Just think about the future.
498
00:15:41,467 --> 00:15:42,397
>> I'm gonna be the lead singer
499
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,430
of Aerosmith!
500
00:15:43,433 --> 00:15:45,303
>> This summer, watch the story
501
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:47,230
of a man who didn't want to miss
502
00:15:47,233 --> 00:15:48,533
a thing.
503
00:15:50,633 --> 00:15:51,703
I'm moving to New York to join
504
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:52,530
Aerosmith.
505
00:15:52,533 --> 00:15:54,133
>> But they live in Boston!
506
00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:57,627
>> He could have made it, but no
507
00:15:57,633 --> 00:15:59,203
one understood him.
508
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,230
>> I'm the president of Sony
509
00:16:00,233 --> 00:16:01,073
Records.
510
00:16:01,067 --> 00:16:02,197
How does a $20 million contract
511
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,530
and complete artistic freedom
512
00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:04,273
sound?
513
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:04,927
>> Unless you're a member of
514
00:16:04,933 --> 00:16:06,203
Aerosmith, then don't talk to
515
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,730
me.
516
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,900
>> Aerosmith has been incredibly
517
00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:13,770
successful for decades now.
518
00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:14,897
>> If you're not gonna help me,
519
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:15,970
then get out of the way.
520
00:16:15,967 --> 00:16:16,727
(thunder crashes)
521
00:16:16,733 --> 00:16:18,703
>> You're gonna have to choose.
522
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:21,400
It's either me or the rock band
523
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:22,930
Aerosmith.
524
00:16:22,933 --> 00:16:25,703
>> You want me to walk that way?
525
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:27,930
Well, I wanna walk this way.
526
00:16:27,933 --> 00:16:30,233
>> But finding out what it takes
527
00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:33,633
can make any man jaded.
528
00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:35,373
>> I got some bad news.
529
00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:36,967
Your mom was hit by a car.
530
00:16:36,967 --> 00:16:39,627
>> Remind me again, Dad.
531
00:16:39,633 --> 00:16:41,073
Was Mom Aerosmith?
532
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,567
Then I don't care!
533
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:44,597
>> Would you stop throwing
534
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:45,600
plates?!
535
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,570
>> I'm gonna kidnap Stephen
536
00:16:47,567 --> 00:16:48,897
Tyler.
537
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:53,070
(howling)
538
00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:54,867
>> "Dream On."
539
00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,697
>> Excuse me.
540
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:01,070
Excuse me. How you doing?
541
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:02,097
I was trying to get to Yankee
542
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,200
Stadium.
543
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:04,600
From here, where is Yankee
544
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:05,430
Stadium?
545
00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:07,373
>> It's way, way uptown, so you
546
00:17:07,367 --> 00:17:08,067
gotta take--
547
00:17:08,067 --> 00:17:08,827
>> Is it this or that way?
548
00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:09,603
>> That way.
549
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,230
>> You sure?
550
00:17:10,233 --> 00:17:11,073
>> Positive, you--
551
00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:12,927
But you're not gonna walk there.
552
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:15,833
(chuckling)
553
00:17:19,633 --> 00:17:21,073
>> Let's settle down, thank you.
554
00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:23,067
Now, before we start today, I
555
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:25,697
wanted to say that, um...
556
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,270
Actually, has anyone seen Keith
557
00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:31,197
or Kenny Lucas?
558
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,130
>> Nah, we're here,
559
00:17:32,133 --> 00:17:33,073
Mrs. Gertrude.
560
00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:34,567
>> Coming at you as holograms,
561
00:17:34,567 --> 00:17:35,727
mother (bleep).
562
00:17:35,733 --> 00:17:39,133
**
563
00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:40,133
>> Oh, that's right.
564
00:17:40,133 --> 00:17:41,203
My brother and I stand before
565
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,900
you using the space age
566
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:45,070
technology of holograms.
567
00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:46,467
Wake up, dumb (bleep)!
568
00:17:46,467 --> 00:17:47,467
Y'all just mad 'cause I gotta
569
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:48,897
sit here and listen to him talk
570
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:50,570
about Marcus Garvey while we at
571
00:17:50,567 --> 00:17:51,967
home chilling 'cause we figured
572
00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:53,597
out a way to manipulate space
573
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:54,630
and time.
574
00:17:54,633 --> 00:17:56,103
>> Using the futuristic powers
575
00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:56,870
of mother(bleep)--
576
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:57,827
>> Language, boys.
577
00:17:57,833 --> 00:17:58,603
>> Sorry.
578
00:17:58,600 --> 00:17:59,700
>> Sorry, Mrs. Gertrude.
579
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:01,070
>> It's Mr. Gertrude.
580
00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:02,567
>> So as I was saying before, I
581
00:18:02,567 --> 00:18:04,067
know I said that we were gonna
582
00:18:04,067 --> 00:18:05,167
have a test today.
583
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,067
>> Oh, we gonna kill that
584
00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:07,597
(bleep), Lucas Bros style.
585
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,070
Hologram high-five.
586
00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:10,567
(electronic droning)
587
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:14,197
>> But... instead of a test, we
588
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,230
are gonna have a super surprise
589
00:18:16,233 --> 00:18:17,733
pizza party!
590
00:18:17,733 --> 00:18:19,833
>> Yeah!
591
00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:20,673
>> Uh-oh.
592
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,397
>> Oh, man.
593
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,600
>> Uh...
594
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,230
An unforeseen drawback.
595
00:18:28,367 --> 00:18:29,367
Bet you think we regret this,
596
00:18:29,367 --> 00:18:30,627
don't you?
597
00:18:30,633 --> 00:18:31,503
We don't.
598
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:32,870
>> Yeah, we-- yeah, we don't.
599
00:18:32,867 --> 00:18:35,067
Y'all just mad that we not gonna
600
00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:36,227
share space age technology with
601
00:18:36,233 --> 00:18:37,173
y'all.
602
00:18:37,167 --> 00:18:38,267
Y'all can enjoy y'all pizza.
603
00:18:38,267 --> 00:18:39,067
We gonna go back and play
604
00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:39,727
PlayStation.
605
00:18:39,733 --> 00:18:40,403
>> Yeah.
606
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:41,070
>> You ready to dip?
607
00:18:41,067 --> 00:18:41,897
>> Yeah, let's bounce, man.
608
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:43,070
>> Let's get out of here, man.
609
00:18:45,533 --> 00:18:47,103
>> It's just not there.
610
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:48,300
(whoosh)
611
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:53,670
(phone ringing)
612
00:18:53,667 --> 00:18:54,927
>> Hey, um...
613
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:57,433
Excuse me, my name is Ryan.
614
00:18:57,433 --> 00:18:58,773
>> Oh, hi. Krista.
615
00:18:58,767 --> 00:18:59,827
>> Did you just start here?
616
00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:01,733
>> I did. Uh, did you?
617
00:19:01,733 --> 00:19:02,473
>> Uh, no, no.
618
00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:03,327
I've actually been here for a
619
00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:04,203
few years now, yeah.
620
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,070
>> Oh.
621
00:19:05,067 --> 00:19:06,427
(both laughing)
622
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:07,803
>> Oh, you're married, nice.
623
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,070
>> Yeah, yeah.
624
00:19:09,067 --> 00:19:09,967
To the old ball and chain.
625
00:19:09,967 --> 00:19:10,967
Yeah, we got a couple little
626
00:19:10,967 --> 00:19:11,597
ones, too.
627
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,370
Let me show you a picture.
628
00:19:13,367 --> 00:19:14,467
I love little family.
629
00:19:14,467 --> 00:19:15,297
Look at that, look at my little
630
00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:16,100
people, huh?
631
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,430
>> Oh, cute!
632
00:19:17,433 --> 00:19:18,503
>> My little princess.
633
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:19,830
>> Oh, little chubbies!
634
00:19:19,833 --> 00:19:21,333
So adorable.
635
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:22,503
>> Yeah, yeah, man.
636
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:23,400
They mean the world to me, you
637
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:24,070
know?
638
00:19:24,067 --> 00:19:24,697
>> Oh, that's great.
639
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:25,700
>> Yeah.
640
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:27,700
>> So you like it here, or...
641
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,370
>> I mean, it pays the bills.
642
00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:30,767
But the only thing I would say
643
00:19:30,767 --> 00:19:32,167
is that, um...
644
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:35,770
The boss can be a bit of a
645
00:19:35,767 --> 00:19:37,167
hard-ass at times, you know?
646
00:19:37,167 --> 00:19:38,067
>> Ohh.
647
00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:38,827
>> So you gotta watch it.
648
00:19:38,833 --> 00:19:39,573
>> All right.
649
00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:44,167
(both laugh)
650
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:45,597
>> Yeah.
651
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,900
>> (burp)
652
00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:48,300
Wasn't me, it was Ryan!
653
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:49,870
>> No!
654
00:19:49,867 --> 00:19:50,727
>> What?
655
00:19:50,733 --> 00:19:52,703
>> (shouting)
656
00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:55,070
>> No, no, no!
657
00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:56,297
No!
658
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:58,600
>> You all know the rules!
659
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,430
You all know the rules!
660
00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:03,873
No burping!
661
00:20:08,067 --> 00:20:09,667
Thanks, lady.
662
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:10,997
What is your name?
663
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,670
>> It's Krista.
664
00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:14,067
>> Thanks for snitching.
665
00:20:14,067 --> 00:20:16,067
Just for that, you just got
666
00:20:16,067 --> 00:20:18,397
promoted to senior vice
667
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,800
president.
668
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,200
Congratulations.
669
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,033
>> (clapping)
670
00:20:27,033 --> 00:20:30,333
>> (laughing nervously)
671
00:20:30,333 --> 00:20:31,973
Thank you.
672
00:20:31,967 --> 00:20:33,027
>> Hey, y'all want some free
673
00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:33,703
advice?
674
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,403
Y'all want some free advice?
675
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,230
>> That's too easy.
676
00:20:37,233 --> 00:20:38,373
Stay in school is too easy.
677
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,227
>> When you put grapes in a
678
00:20:40,233 --> 00:20:42,133
freezer, then they become ice
679
00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:43,433
grapes and you can eat 'em.
680
00:20:43,433 --> 00:20:44,803
They're a low-cal snack.
681
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:45,530
>> If you were in, like, the
682
00:20:45,533 --> 00:20:47,273
wilderness and a tiger was gonna
683
00:20:47,267 --> 00:20:49,997
eat you, you should try to avoid
684
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,900
that.
685
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:52,930
>> I knew that already.
686
00:20:52,933 --> 00:20:54,303
>> You say-- you knew that?
687
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:55,630
Okay. All right.
688
00:20:55,633 --> 00:20:57,303
That's all I got.
41709
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