Original subtitles

- [Narrator] Previously on Five Bedrooms.

- How's your mom?

Any better with the gay stuff?

- No.

- Manju, if you just could've seen him and Pete together,

he was so happy.

- Don't put images in my head.

- Why would you bring up Pete?

- I was making a broader point about acceptance.

- Ainsley told me about you, Heather, moving on.

Obviously, you're gonna need someone to rent out your room.

Maybe that person could be me.

- Lochlan or no Lochlan, yes or no?

- [Ben] Lochlan, I'm not a yes or a no,

I actually vote we sell ASAP.

- The results confirmed it was shellfish poisoning.

- I've just been feeling queasy all week.

- It's probably worth seeing your GP,

unless you're pregnant.

[laughing]

[gentle music]

- [Ainsley] Love, marriage, babies, houses,

all pretty standard things to want out of life.

♪ A life worth living

- [Ainsley] Not for everyone, of curse.

Some people actively avoid them.

♪ Building like little birds

- [Ainsley] Others end up with them

but don't truly want them.

I spent a lot of my life

thinking those things were probably out of reach for me

but somehow I'd arrived at a place

where I could have all four.

- Well, the yard looks a-mazing.

Listen, there's been a surge in interest

and I'm tipping 70 plus through the doors today.

- Wow. - I know.

Hold on, can I grab that?

- [Ainsley Voiceover] Or maybe I'd end up

with nothing at all.

- And the Yangs have already tried

to make an offer of 2.4 mil.

Are you all right?

- Hmm?

- [Lochlan] You're not smiling.

- Could we have lunch today, just the two of us?

- I'd love that but

I already said that I'd grab a beer

with Greg from accounting

'cause he's going through a rough time with his wife

and I feel like I should be there.

Or I could put him off?

- That'd be great.

- [Lochlan] Is everything okay?

- I just want to have a chat.

- About what?

- I'm already running late,

got to stop and get petrol.

- Just tell me quickly.

- I'm pregnant, it's yours.

- Are you sure?

- Well, I mean I've peed on half a dozen sticks

and been to the doctor, so yeah.

- Oh my God.

You're pregnant!

- Okay, I know that this is terrible timing

and there's a lot to think about.

- The timing is perfect, Ains.

We're closing a chapter just as we're writing a new one.

More than a chapter, a whole book.

Why are you making that face?

- I didn't know how you'd react.

[gentle music]

[upbeat music]

- You don't expect it, do you,

to get so attached to a building?

- You've only visited a few times.

- Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

It's a mystery.

- Bennie, the dream's over?

- It is, mate.

- Do you mind if I ask what happened?

- Romantic complications, mostly.

- No, I need to get a place

that's better for my daughter.

- Plus, romantic complications.

- That's not it, mate.

- I was speaking for myself.

- You don't live here.

- Bit hurtful.

- Tricky business, isn't it, group living?

I ran into similar issues back in the day.

- Yeah, you did a bit of group living, Marty?

- Well, it was only the three of us, early '70s,

myself and two ladies, two sisters.

And they both got a piece of my heart.

But it came to a pretty messy end

financially and emotionally.

Hearts and houses, eh?

Sometimes...

I don't know where I was going with that sentence

but I'm there for you.

- Cheers, Marty.

A king among men.

- [Marty] Ah, now I remember.

- [Rhonda] Well, this is just delicious.

Heather what you've done with that dough.

- It's just flat bread.

I just put it in the oven.

- It tastes like cardboard.

- Come on, mate.

- I've got sensitive gums.

- Since when?

- Well I think it's a lovely texture and

I might take this opportunity to say thank you, Heather,

for inviting us all here today.

And this is the first meal we've had as a,

well I'm gonna call us a new family.

And I hope that it's the first of many.

- Thanks, Rhonda. - That's beautiful, Rhonda.

- But actually I got you all here

to let you know that I'm leaving.

- What? - Oh!

- You already left. - Where are you going?

- Somewhere remote, I'm considering Iceland.

- Overseas?

- [Heather] Yeah.

- How long?

- Is that important?

- But you hate traveling.

- Yes, I know.

- Especially flying.

How are you even gonna get on the plane?

- Well, I'll be heavily sedated

and they'll probably have to stretcher me off

at the other end.

- Well obviously this is a lunch

of a different nature than I was imagining

but I want you to know

you'll be missed. - What, more of this, hon--

- Cole.

- If it's about Rhonda and I traveling to Tasi,

you are more than welcome to join.

- No, I don't know about that.

- You're taking my younger twin?

- No, no sniff of happiness has been torn asunder

but thanks for reminding me.

- Excuse me.

- Good one, dad.

You've ruined it again.

- Maybe you should go and check on Rhonda.

- That's all right, Louie's got it.

- Yeah, maybe you should go and check on Louie.

I just wanted,

I just wanted to say--

- I've made up my mind, Carl.

- Let me finish.

I just want you to know

we'll be fine, me and the boys.

You take as long as you need.

You have my blessings.

- I wasn't asking for your blessings.

- Well you have them anyway.

- Okay, well thanks, Cole.

[sad music]

- [Lochlan] Sandra, this is your father speaking.

- [Ainsley] We are not calling it Sandra.

- Delphina?

[laughing]

Does anybody else know yet?

What about Heather?

- I want to tell her

but we're still not really talking.

- And she can be pretty brutal so...

- I need her to know.

It's too big for her to not know.

And the big stuff usually brings out the best in her.

- Then I think I should tell Melanie.

She'll find out eventually.

It's the right thing to do.

- Okay.

- [Ainsley Voiceover] It was always a risk,

telling Heather about the pregnancy

the night before the auction

with things still so fractured between us.

But Heather in a time of need,

that's a special kind of Heather.

That's what she always said.

And I was counting on it.

- Look, I don't want to find out.

- She's not even letting me wipe out.

- Last time you went in this kitchen,

everybody ended up shitting themselves literally.

- I washed my hands, I'm using a tea towel,

I'll use tea towels

if you want. - I don't care.

What?

- Can I speak to you for a moment alone please?

- Ben, distract yourself.

- [Ben] No, we've got to get over this weirdness.

- Ben.

- Look, I know

we're all heading our separate ways, all right,

but I'm buggered if I'm walking away

with any bad blood between us,

especially between both of you.

- Please Ben, it's not--

- Look things got complicated,

all right, I get it but real mates

make it through fireworks.

- Ben!

- Simmer and Buckets, 2012 preseason

got themselves into a hell of a threeway

with Fridge's sister.

- I'm pregnant.

- To dipshit?

- To Lochlan, yes.

- Geez, I misread that, didn't I?

That's unreal, Ains, congratulations.

I'm just, eh...

- How do you feel?

- Surprised, terrified.

- That's pretty normal.

Are you keeping it?

- We are, yeah.

Lochlan's been incredible.

He's talking about taking a tape course

in early childhood development.

- Well, there's a lot going on.

If you're not 100% sure,

you don't have to decide right now.

- Sorry?

- I'm just saying, there's time.

- You know you could just say congratulations.

- Congratulations.

- Look, Heather, I know you've had some regrets

about the way things have panned out

in your life-- - Sorry, what does that mean?

- I'm just saying--

- Are you saying I regret having the boys?

- No.

- Timmy and Louie are without question

the best thing I've done in my life.

- I know that, I wasn't saying that.

I just want you to be happy for me.

- All right.

- Guess you won't be here anyway.

- [Lochlan] Hey, you've reached Lochlan Best.

Please leave a message.

- Hey, it's me.

I told Heather

and I think it actually went worse than I predicted.

Yeah, it really hurt.

I hope it goes better with Mel.

So call me as soon as you can, okay.

[sad music]

- You know that wasn't even close to a fight.

By my family standards

that was like a firm handshake.

- Nice of you to listen in.

- I could listen to you all day, I reckon.

You know the only reason

you two could talk to each other like that

is 'cause there's a lot of love there.

- I just need to take myself out of the equation.

The sooner I get on the road,

the better it's gonna be for everyone.

- No, not everyone.

- Ben, I adore you

but I am more broken than I let anyone see

and I'm not gonna put that on you.

You've got a real chance at a happy life.

And I don't want to be the thing that stops you

'cause you deserve to be happy.

- Yeah but so do you.

Will I still be able to call you?

- If you want.

- I want.

I'm gonna miss your voice.

- Yeah, this isn't helping anyone.

[gentle music]

- Sorry.

- I'm already on my second, skinny bitch.

- I'm a minute and a half late.

- I started early.

- Well sorry, I'm house hunting again,

it's a nightmare.

- House hunting?

What happened to the commune?

- The commune is being sold tomorrow.

- Oh no, why?

- Combination of things.

It all became a bit of a debacle.

Anyway, Sebastian, unfortunately I've yet to gain access

to the main account.

Are you all right?

- Sorry, sorry, it's just

sometimes when the wheels were falling off with Sebastian,

I'd think of you and the commune

and I'd think look at Liz

and those blue-collared sporting people.

I can't remember their names, Ainsley and Burt.

- Ben.

- And I'd tell myself,

Liz had a cataclysmic fall from grace

and she ended up in a place

and so might you.

But no, there was a debacle.

- It was preferable to homelessness

which is what I'm facing now.

Anyway...

- What, you need somewhere to stay?

Well Liz, you should've said so.

I thought Sebastian would go to the south Yarrow apartment

but then I found that staying here

in the empty marital home

was just too depressing.

We can't sell it till after we've settled,

so for the next year, it'll just be sitting here empty.

- So you'd let me stay here for a year?

- Consider it an added incentive

to bleed Sebastian dry.

- Could someone stay with me?

- Not on the couch

but in the guest suite or one of the cottages, of course.

- Me again, sorry for the repeat harassment.

Hope everything's going okay with Mel.

It did cross my mind

that you might be having sex with her

but that's probably just the hormones talking.

Call me soon as you can.

- [Ainsley Voiceover] When we moved in,

I deliberately picked the room next to the front door.

The others didn't want it,

the sound of everyone coming and going,

all that bustle,

but to me, it made it the least lonely room in the house.

But on that night,

the last ever night in the house,

I'd never felt lonelier.

- [Manju] Harpret?

- Sorry I'm late.

How you feeling today?

Hi Helen.

- You need to call if you're going to be so late.

- I did call.

- Well you need to call to update us.

I've made chana masala, it's gone cold.

- Well I've already had dinner anyway.

- Just as I thought,

he's avoiding me again.

- Mom! - You are!

- I am not avoiding you.

- He leaves home early in the morning

and comes home after night fall.

- Mom, I moved home,

I left the house I bought with my friends for you.

How could I possibly be avoiding you?

- I might leave you to it.

- Sorry Helen.

- You are so angry at me all the time.

- I'm sorry.

- Before that house,

we would enjoy meals,

we would watch movies.

We were friends, Harpret.

And now you hate me.

- Oh, I don't hate you.

- Is it because you're missing your lover?

[phone ringing]

- Sorry, one sec.

Hello?

- Hi.

Is there a bit of an echo there?

Sorry, it's just the enormous dimensions

of your new bedroom.

- What?

- I am standing in Edwina's marital compound

which she has given to us for a year.

The entire house to live in rent free.

- What do you mean given it to us?

- [Liz] I mean she's given it to me,

but you can stay here too.

- I can't really talk right now.

- Could you hold one moment

while I body slam your luxury linen?

- Sorry mom.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

- [Liz] Did you hang up on me?

- Yeah, I'm having a bit of a moment with mum.

- [Liz] Just listen to me, two seconds,

I've got it figured out.

You can split your time between your mom's house and here.

- That is not possible.

- This place is rent free

so you can afford a night nurse for your mom.

So half the week you can be the devoted son.

And the other half, cocktails in the outdoor lifestyle area.

Plus, this is the perfect environment

to rekindle things with people, Tele.

- No, no, do not say that name.

- [Liz] Why?

- Because it's over.

- [Liz] It's only over because you went out.

- I need to go to bed.

- [Liz] I'm telling you, Harry.

This is the reason everything happened, the house,

the past six months. - I'm sorry, I have to go.

- It's all been worth it because

it's brought us here

where we were always meant to be.

Harry?

[sad music]

- Mum, I'm sorry, you were right.

I have been taking things out on you.

I apologize.

- You're not happy here with me.

- I'm not happy with myself.

I know you think going into that house ruined me

but my life opened up there.

[emotional music]

Are you comfortable?

- No, I need another pillow.

- Do you think you'll be all right

until Helen arrives tomorrow?

Because I really need to see someone

and I'm not sure I'll be home tonight.

- [Pete] Harry?

- Pete, are you at home or,

oh, you're out?

- [Pete] Yeah, just at the Bill Bazaar.

Are you alright?

- Can I come and see you for five minutes?

- [Pete] I'm not sure how much longer I'll be here.

- Just five minutes.

I have something I really need to say to you face to face.

- Harry?

Harry, yeah.

- Hi, sorry for interrupting your night.

- It's, you okay?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just,

I'm sure you probably know

we're selling the house tomorrow.

- Yeah, yeah, I saw the sign.

- Look Pete, I know our time together was fraught

but the truth is I've never imagined myself

living as an out gay man until I met you.

Being with you helped me--

- Harry.

- To see what my life could be and

it sounds like I'm gonna propose, doesn't it?

I'm not, don't worry.

Actually-- - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- I'm kidding, that was a sad attempt at a joke.

But seriously, I'm out now

and I haven't been able to stop thinking

about you or us and--

- [Jack] Everything okay?

- Yeah, Jack this is Harry.

He's one of my neighbors.

- Hi.

- [Pete] He's the one selling his house tomorrow.

- Oh, I snuck into one of your inspections.

I wish I could afford it.

Those fireplaces are amazing.

- Oh, thanks.

- [Pete] We'll just be a second.

- Sorry, I didn't realize--

- It's very new.

- [Harry] Right, of course.

- I'm sorry, I probably should've said something.

- No, no, no, it's nothing you have to apologize for.

I guess I'll see you at the auction.

- Yeah, I mean if you'd like me to be there.

- Oh no, no, no, no, why would you, that would be,

I might leave you to your night.

Sorry again.

[sad music]

[crying]

- [Lochlan] Please leave a message.

- Just me again.

I'm getting quite worried now.

I know you'll be here soon but I just

really thought you'd call.

So...

yeah.

- [Ben] Lizzie.

- [Heather] How was your night

in your dream palace?

- So you did get my texts?

- Yeah, and your pictures.

- Yeah, I love those gifs.

- Would've been nice to have had a response.

- How did you expect us to respond?

You're sending real estate porn

to people about to become povo.

- Well I just wanted to share the experience.

- In what way, inviting me to stay?

- Possibly in time.

- [Ainsley] Liz--

- Did you get my pictures?

- I did.

Could I just ask

in terms of how we refer to this whole experiment

could we avoid referring to it as a debacle?

- [Ben] Who said that?

- Adwena called last night

commiserating over the commune turning into a debacle.

- No, I don't think I would've used that term.

- It's okay, I just don't think

it reflects very well on us.

- Ainsley, I-- - It's fine.

- Morning.

I'm so, so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

- Where were you?

- Everything just took 10 times longer than I expected.

- Well, you've done it now.

- Heather, look I know that you're skeptical about me

and us and this but I'm gonna work so hard

to be the husband and father than Ainsley always dreamed of

times a million.

Just you watch.

- Well, I'll be on the other side of the planet

so just gonna have to take your word for it.

Babe, God, I'm so sorry, Ains.

What happened with Heather?

You said it was awful.

- It was worse than awful.

How'd it go with Mel?

- Oh, oh you know...

- Did you stay over or something?

- No, no, no, no, God no.

Well, technically yes but not in a sexual way.

She was in quite a state.

Let's, you know what, there's plenty of time to discuss this

and we've got a hell of a day ahead of us.

- [Ainsley] Then what happened?

- Ains, this...

Um, look what I'm about to tell you

will come as a bit of a shock at first

but if you actually think about it

a good and beautiful thing has happened.

- What?

- Mel is pregnant too,

at least two months gone, maybe even three

and it's probably mine.

It is mine.

- [Ben] Ains, we're just heading to Val's.

- [Ainsley] I'll be there in a minute.

- G'day Manju. - Ben,

Heather. - Mom.

- Harpret, Elizabeth.

- [Liz] Oh, it's lovely to see you, Manju.

- The house looks really nice.

With all these potted plants,

I didn't realize it could make such a difference.

- This must be Harry's sister.

- Mum, this is our neighbor, Marty.

- Pleasure to meet you.

- Pleasure.

- And will Harry's father be joining us today?

- No, he passed some time ago.

- Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

- We have to wait down the road while they open the house.

Did you want to--

- No, no, no, Harpret, your gentleman friend, is he here?

- [Marty] Yeah, where is Pete?

- Uh no-- - He's busy,

I think working.

- Elizabeth, you know I rely on you for the truth.

- That is the truth, he's not here.

So did you want to come with us?

- No, no, I want to see the house.

- And I would be only too happy to show you.

- Thank you.

- All right, we'll see you soon, then.

- See you, yes, see you.

Hi Martin, Harpret's friend--

- Pete?

- Yes, do you know him?

- Oh yeah, yeah, lived opposite him for years.

- Sometimes life throws curve balls Ains.

- This is a little bit bigger than a curve ball.

- Yeah, I know it's a lot to take in

but I think there's a few positives here.

- I'm sorry, but I am not gonna make you feel good

about impregnating two women simultaneously.

- That's fair.

- I'm sorry, we are officially open now.

If you could find an alternative location.

- Coming out now.

- We are not dealing with this

in front of the others.

I'm gonna go to Val's, you're gonna stay here.

And then when we're all back together,

we're gonna pretend like this conversation didn't happen.

I don't want to see one flicker of anything,

especially in front of Heather.

I just want to get through today

and sell this house.

- I'm gonna get a good price, Ains,

for our family. - Stop talking.

Hello.

- Hi, hello, how are you?

Good to see you, welcome back.

- [Val] Can I get anyone anything,

a cup of tea, little something to calm the nerves?

- What are we talking, liquid, plant?

- How strong do you want to go?

- Ains.

- Are you all right?

- Yeah, I was just feeling a bit unwell for a second.

- I didn't feed her anything.

It's not food poisoning, it's just,

Ains, tell them your news.

- Oh, I think everyone knows my news.

- Sorry?

- [Val] I don't know anything.

- Sorry, Liz, Val, I'm pregnant.

- Oh, oh that's lovely.

I'm gonna get us some champers.

- Oh, do we do that with pregnancy?

- [Val] We do.

- You knew?

Feeling a bit on the outer but,

wow, wow, congratulations.

- Thank you.

Thanks Liz, your support means a lot to me.

- And it's Lochlan's?

- Oh yeah it is, yes.

- Wow yeah, ooh.

[nervously laughing]

- Well, here we all are,

the old band's back together.

Reunion tour, it's nice, isn't it?

Also a bit weird.

Just feels like someone should say a few words.

Heather?

- If we get less than 2.6,

I'm gonna go the full Harry Caray.

- I think you mean Harry Caray.

- [Ben] What?

- [Heather] Harry Caray.

- I meant a more emotional,

interpersonal type thing

to mark the occasion?

Ains?

- Liz.

- No, I think Lizzie made her position clear

with the debacle comment.

- I didn't mean that--

- Thanks, Liz.

Haza?

- Oh, um, I don't know,

I guess I want to thank you all

for giving me the best--

- You're saying the words of that Dido song, mate?

- I was, I'm sorry.

- All right, um,

families come in all shapes and sizes

[phone ringing]

- I'm sorry, I think I should take this.

- Okay, not to be, worth a shot.

[sighs]

- Pete?

- Hey mate, just checking is everything okay?

I'm over here at your place.

- Yeah, in what terms?

- Well, Marty called me,

said that there was a security concern

at the open house.

- A security concern?

- He didn't really give any details.

He said just to come on over.

- Oh, here he is, Pete?

- [Pete] Mrs. Sethi, is everything okay?

- What?

- Mr. Portelli, there is something I need to say to you.

It's about my son.

- If you could just please

pass the phone to my mother.

- Actually I've got Harry on the line right now.

- Harpret?

- [Harry] Mom, what are you doing?

- Well, I'm glad you're here.

- I am not there, mom.

I'm not there.

- Okay, then I'll put you on speaker

- Oh my God.

- And I want both you and Peter

to hear what I have to say.

Peter, I know I've struggled

with Harpret's feelings for men,

perhaps because Harpret, this may be a shock,

your grandfather on your father's side

was also homosexual.

- Oh my God, oh my God.

- Please, he dreamed of being a homosexual

until he had a heart attack and he died in his sleep.

Peter, I want to say this,

if Harpret would have you as his lover, so be it.

I'll find a way to love you,

as long as you're healthy

and you don't wear the hot pants,

I'll welcome you into our family with open arms, Peter.

- Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

I am so sorry.

- No, we're okay, we're fine.

- Harpret, Peter has found another lover, also a male.

- I have told Harry that. - I already knew that mom.

I'm so sorry.

- No, that's okay.

Why don't I leave you guys to it?

I just need to confirm, definitely no security concerns

of any nature?

- No, and if any emerge,

I'm here and I'm vigilant.

- Okay.

- Just again, I'm so sorry.

- It's okay, it's fine.

Good luck.

- Thanks.

[funny music]

- Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

If I can get you to gather in closer,

we are moments away.

- [Lochlan] Hey guys, how exciting is this?

- Are you all right?

- I cracked the champagne already, sorry.

- Peter has already been spoken for.

- She knows that, mom.

Marty and mom have moved on from Pete

and are now workshopping my love life.

- [Manju] We like the swimmer.

- The swimmer?

- Big feet, retired now but still quite young.

- Ian Thorpe.

- [Manju] Yes, Ian Thorpe, we like him.

- If you guys would like to move outside.

If I could get all the homeowners

to cluster over here,

it's time to get this show on the road.

- Oh, Lochlan, congratulations.

I hear that you have exciting news.

- Yeah, thank you.

- Mate, congrats.

- Honestly, I don't think I've ever felt happier

or more grateful.

We don't even know if it's gonna be a boy or a girl

but I just feel like a different person.

Don't you, Ains?

- Yep.

- It just puts a different filter

on the way that you look at the world.

- You should probably.

- Yeah, okay, right,

okay legends, let's do this.

- Well ladies and gentlemen, this is the dream.

What a magnificent home,

grand proportions and unbeatable location.

Most of all--

- What's happening, Ains?

Something's happening.

- I'm fine.

- Picture the kids

running through this sun-dappled,

family-friendly location.

Now the bank's zone is very, very hard to get into.

- Hey.

- Heather I'm fine.

- Bullshit, you've got drama flinging off you

like dog hair in spring.

- Yeah well it's a bit unsettling

having your entire life savings on the line.

And I'm feeling a bit nauseated most of the time.

- I know you, Ainsley Erling.

I know you a hell of a lot better than I know myself

and right now you need to tell me

what the hell is going on.

- Melanie--

- Dipshit's ex?

- She's also pregnant.

- [Heather] You are fucking kidding me.

- I could talk about this property all day.

- There's actually quite a lot of noise spill

coming into the yard.

- Lochlan, I'm gonna suggest that you stay--

- You should be surgically castrated.

Do you have any idea how you have decimated

not one, but two women's lives?

- For your information,

Mel's actually very happy,

as long as I'm not involved.

- Can you hear yourself?

- Just one moment, ladies and gentlemen,

we will open up bidding very soon,

just in a moment.

- Heather, this has got nothing to do with you.

You're not her mother.

You act like you care about Ainsley

but you constantly undermine her.

I find it borderline psychotic.

- Don't speak to her like that.

- Well you said so yourself, Ains.

She's a very unbalanced woman

trying to live your life for you.

- She is the most sane person I know.

- It's just that you judge every little thing

that anyone does.

- Hoy, that'll do.

Heather Doyle changes people's lives.

She scoops 'em up and cares for 'em.

You wouldn't know about it, mate.

- Are you threatening me?

- [Ben] No, absolutely not.

- He's just being protective.

- The man was in prison, Ains.

- That was a very minor offense.

- That man might have a criminal record

but he is a walking fairy tale, all right?

- Look, there's obviously a lot of emotion in the room

but I'm starting to get concerned

we're impacting the sale price.

- Sorry, Denise, I just need five minutes.

I'll be right back.

Heather, I've got this.

- Heather Voltez Halliwell.

- I thought you said the deal

was we weren't gonna tell anyone.

- I know that.

- That was five against one, Ains.

Heather's clearly made everyone hate me.

- No, she hasn't.

They don't hate you, Lochlan,

they just care about me.

- Do they?

'Cause I think that they want you to hate me too.

And I think that it's working.

- I could never hate you, Lochlan.

You are completely oblivious

to the impact you have on my life.

- Look, I think that you're upset

and it's been a massive day.

Your poor hormones must be off the charts.

- Please don't confuse what I'm about to say with hormones.

I'm having this baby

and we're gonna be great parents

but for me to be a great parent,

I have to protect myself.

- What are you saying?

- I can't be with you, Lochlan.

I need to be with people I can depend on

and that's not you.

- I've really, really messed everything up, haven't I?

- Yeah, you have.

- [Ainsley Voiceover] I did this,

the house, everything, to move forward in life

and I was moving.

I just had no idea where I was going.

- Hey, are you all right?

- People are understandably getting restless.

I can't stall much longer.

Are we proceeding with the sale?

- We are.

Let's sell this house.

- Good.

Well ladies and gentlemen, apologies.

Thank you for your patience and welcome.

We are ready to open bidding

on this incredible family home.

- [Ainsley Voiceover] I've been to hundreds of auctions

but never one where my place, my home is on the line.

- [Denise] Could we get the bidding started at 2.4 million?

Looking for 2.4 million?

- [Ainsley Voiceover] Clients have always told me

there's nothing more stressful

than a long pause at an auction,

all your savings in the balance,

your future on the line,

life at a crossroad.

- Don't be shy.

I can see a few familiar faces here.

Who wants to start me off?

- [Ainsley Voiceover] But in that moment,

that flicker of a moment

when it looked like we might not sell,

I wasn't feeling horror,

I felt relief.

- [Denise] And welcome madam,

thank you, we are away.

- [Ainsley Voiceover] I was certain I was the only one until

- Wait, do we really want this?

- What?

- Do we want to lose this place

- The debacle.

- I apologized for that.

- No, you didn't, you denied it.

And regardless, Harry bought out your share

and now you're living in a mansion rent-free.

- I know, I know that and

I hated it.

I couldn't sleep.

It was like a five star version of being dead.

The truth is I missed everything.

I missed Heather going to the toilet six times a night.

- Two kids, mate, 27 stitches in total.

- And Ben's acapella singing.

And Ainsley's pointless color coded rosters.

I missed it all

and Harry, you're 10 years younger than me

and you love the cock

but you're the love of my life.

- 2.5.

- Lizzie, I hear you

but I've gotta sell,

I've gotta sell for my daughter.

- Okay, your ex cannot deny access

unless she can prove that this is an unsafe environment,

which it clearly isn't.

And in the unlikely event that she takes you to court,

I will personally represent you.

- [Denise] 2.5, we're looking for 2.6.

- Maybe it's Stockholm Syndrome but I,

I don't want to lose this, this house,

these five people.

You're feeling it too.

- What?

- Don't deny it, Ainsley.

You're an awful liar.

It's all over your face.

- The truth is I would love nothing more.

- Yes!

- But it wouldn't be the same, Liz.

You'd be dealing with a baby

and a panicked single mother.

- Okay, so you're gonna be a single mom.

You're not gonna do it on your own.

I'll be on hand 24 hours a day.

- But you're going away.

- Oh bullshit, I was never getting on that plane.

You're about to experience

the single greatest shit show on the face of this Earth

and if you think I am not taking my rightful front row seat

to that, then you have not been paying attention.

- You'll have me too.

Look, I've never lived with a baby

but I can't live with my mother anymore.

- 2.7, thank you very much, mam.

- And also, every kid needs a handyman/spiritual guide

and fairy godfather, guncle.

- I'll take it.

- And like a smoking hot auntie

and a you know, very, accomplished solicitor.

- Or just another excellent auntie.

- Yes.

- Really?

- Yes, I would be an excellent auntie.

- No, I mean...

- Oh, I've never been clearer.

I feel worse about this ending than my divorce.

- Bugger it, the five of us right here.

- [Ainsley Voiceover] And there

in the middle of our lounge room,

fist to fist with my unofficial family,

I was feeling so much,

I couldn't hear anything,

not the once, the twice, nothing at all until

going three times--

- Oh my God.

- [Denise] And sold for 2.9 million

to the lady on my left.

[upbeat music]