Original subtitles

- [Narrator] Previously on "Five Bedrooms."

- I don't know, there's life here and confusion

and maybe I should pack it all in

and do something like this.

- [Harry] That's Ben's daughter.

- I should have been around and I wasn't.

But I'm here now.

I want to be in her life.

- Look after yourself once in a while, you know?

Just do what you want to do.

- Okay, well, I tried that

and that was having sex with Ben.

- [Guests] Surprise!

- [Heather] Ains, you have every right to be angry.

- This whole situation is just so humiliating.

- Ainsley's got the hots for you.

You casting your spell on Harry, too?

- No!

Why would Harry be looking at anyone anyway, you know?

He's so in love with Pete.

- You know me better than anyone, Mum.

I'm still the same person.

- I don't think so.

- Ains?

Are you okay?

["Whatever Helps You Sleep" by Alexander Biggs]

- [Ben] There's no getting around it.

Made a bit of chaos in my life.

Ah!

Maybe more than my fair share.

My old man used to say,

"Benny, everything you touch turns to shit."

He's not being a prick about it, just telling the truth.

♪ And when she's happy and got what she needs ♪

But this house was meant to be the turning point,

the start of the upward climb.

But four months in, things weren't too flash.

Hazza was always at his mum's, looking after her

and having to deal with the fallout of me outing him.

Ains was barely coming home.

No one knew where she was sleeping.

She and Heather had fallen apart and yeah,

I was a bit of a factor there, too.

Pretty sure things were still okay with Lizzy.

- Ben?

Are you using a towel at all?

It's just that the spread of the water on the walls

and floor, it's like you're just shaking yourself dry.

- It was looking more and more like

the common denominator in all the chaos was me.

["Whatever Helps You Sleep" by Alexander Biggs]

[ringtone chiming]

Beck.

- [Rebecca] Ben.

Where are you? Are you at work?

- No, why?

Is Mia okay?

- Yeah, she's fine.

I mean, she's not fine, but she's not in any danger.

She's just saying she feels sick

and needs to come home from camp.

- Yeah, that was this week, yeah.

Yeah.

- Yeah, and I'm in Sydney until tomorrow.

I'm trying to rearrange my flight, but--

- You need me to go get her?

- [Rebecca] Yeah, if you could just pick her up?

- Yes, of course I can.

I'll leave right now.

- Well, if you could just get there for lunchtime

and then drive her home, to my home,

and then Richard can be there.

- Or she could stay at mine tonight.

- It's fine,

this is the last day of the conference.

I'm gonna be home tomorrow.

- No, no, seriously.

I mean, what kind of sick is she?

- Well, actually, I don't even know if she's that sick.

I think there's something else going on.

I don't know.

She's not talking to me.

- Beck, please just give me a shot.

- [sighs] Ben, I just don't know if we're there yet.

You know, after last time.

- That was three years ago, though.

I promise you, no indoor stunts, no darts.

[Beck sighs]

- Do you need to run it by your housemates?

- [Ben] I did more than run it by 'em.

I decided to put on a dinner.

It was ambitious, trying to get my daughter back,

get the house back on track all at the same time,

but I genuinely thought the two things

might feed off each other.

Yeah, might have been a couple of holes in that theory.

[upbeat music]

- [Woman] It's a shame you didn't get to stay

for the final night.

You would've had fun.

Is that your Dad?

- [Mia] Yeah.

- Hi.

I'm Angela.

You must be Ben.

- Yeah, nice to meet you.

- Where's Mum?

- She's still in Sydney, mate.

How are you feeling?

Is it your tummy or your throat?

- Both.

- It was a bit of a rough night.

There were some difficulties with some of the other girls.

We've already organized a session with our

pastoral care liaison for next week.

- [Ben] What's that?

- [Angela] Oh, the school counselor.

- [Ben] Right, thank you for looking after her.

All right, so, how sick are we talking?

Is chocolate off the table or a swim in the pool?

Pool's ready to go.

- But I thought you were just driving me home.

- No.

For a sleepover.

At the old man's.

[car doors banging shut]

You know, Harry's gonna be there.

You remember him?

And Heather, you loved Heather.

- She was scary.

- No, she's lovely.

They all are.

- You know, I just want to go home.

- Mate, it's gonna be so much fun.

[motor revving]

So tell me about camp.

What'd you get up to?

[motor rumbling]

- Nothing.

[melancholy music]

- That's all right.

[food sizzling]

[Ben laughs] - Hi.

Uh, I played hardball.

They're all coming.

Harry's gonna be a little bit late.

- Oh, good on you, Lizzy.

Hey, uh, really glad you came.

- Where's Mia?

- She's just in my room, resting up.

- Well, I've given up overtime to schmooze the kid.

Produce the kid.

- Well, before I bring her out, quick heads up,

I have talked you all up a fair bit.

- Oh. [chuckles]

- Heather, I'm sorry I didn't run it by you first,

but I told her you were into makeovers.

- [Heather] I'm shit-ass at makeovers.

- Excellent.

I told her Harry knows all about the pop songs,

Ains is into dancing and Lizzy, uh,

I told her you had very expensive sheets.

- Well, for future reference,

I'm also excellent at makeovers and dancing.

- Yeah.

God, that smells good.

Um, I'll just grab her.

Ains!

Ains, how are ya?

- Hello.

- [Lizzy] Hey.

- [Ainsley] Hey.

- Good to know you're still alive.

- Is it?

- Did you listen to my messages?

- Yeah.

- [Heather] Right.

So you're still punishing me.

- I might just get changed.

- Ains.

This is killing me.

I'm sorry I hurt you, but I didn't lie.

- You might not have lied, Heath, but--

- Look, I was gutless.

I should have found a way to tell you.

But you withheld stuff from me, too.

- Oh, so it's my fault now, is it?

- That's not what I'm say--

- Ah!

Poor little Mia's feeling a bit crook,

so we might just have dinner in my room.

- What kind of crook?

- I don't know, it's just...

I don't think she really is.

I think something happened at camp with her friends.

- Liz said she was desperate to hang out with us.

- Oh, she is!

A hundred percent she is, she's just um,

I reckon...

I'll just, I'll have another crack at it.

Hang on.

[gentle music]

Here you go.

- Thanks.

- Liz and Ains are here.

They're really excited to meet you.

- Still not feeling well.

- You're tucking into that paella pretty hard

for someone who's crook.

Mia, you know, when things were getting a bit

rough for me at school, I used to pull sickies.

- Do you think I'm lying?

- No, no, no, no.

No.

But if there is something going on with your friends

or whatever...

- You sound just like Mum.

- How's that?

- She expects me to tell her everything I do,

but she never tells me anything.

- Oh, mate, I just want to help you.

I wanna tell you whatever you want to know.

- Did you go to jail?

- Did I, what's that?

- Did you?

- Um, might be a conversation for when you're a bit older.

[gentle music]

- I'm not hungry.

[gentle music]

[door bangs shut]

- [Ben] Hazza, you legend, mate.

Thanks for coming.

- Sorry.

So sorry, it takes forever to get out of the house.

- It's all right, the paella's still warm.

- Thanks.

I can't stay long, unfortunately.

- Oh, well, tuck in, mate, you're a growing lad.

[Ben laughs]

How's your mum?

- Erm, in terms of her physical recovery or

her psychological stroke in response to my gaydom?

- Both. - Either.

- Seriously, though, is um,

is she getting any better with the gay stuff?

- I wouldn't say that, no.

There've been a few stages.

Stage one, she developed a plan.

- It can work, Harpreet

- I don't want a marriage of convenience.

- Your father and I were not intimate

for the last five years of his life.

- He had Parkinson's.

- Yes, and I handled that,

as your wife can handle your condition.

- [Harry] Stage two, she rewrote history.

- It's been a shock after shock after shock for me.

First my son fails me, then my body fails me.

- Look, hang on--

- You nearly killed me, Harpreet

- No, your stroke was three weeks

before I told you I was gay.

- I don't think so.

- I have the hospital admission forms to prove it.

- So now my mind fails me, too?

- [Harry] And mostly she just cries.

[Manju crying softly]

- Mate, I'm so sorry.

I just wasn't thinking and I still feel sick about it.

- I actually have something I have to say to the house.

Given Mum's current situation,

I've decided that I have to move back home.

Permanently.

I'm so sorry.

[Ben sighs]

- [Ben] It's all right.

- Well, now would be the time.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Heather's also leaving.

- What?

- That feel good?

You happy now? - What?

[stammering] Where are you going?

- I'm gonna do some traveling.

Um, I'm not sure where yet.

- When did you decide this?

- Well, you know, if you'd listen to your messages--

- I did listen to my messages, Heather.

You didn't say anything about leaving.

- There she is.

Didn't hear you coming in, you little character.

Are you in stealth mode or something?

Hey um, you remember Harry from the hospital.

And Heather.

And this is Lizzy and Ains.

- She loves dancing, I'm the fun one.

- What?

- My stomach hurts.

- [Heather] That's no good.

- Well, come and sit down.

- [Heather] How long has it been hurting?

- It's not that bad.

I'm fine.

- Hey, you know what, Harry,

what you've got in common with Mia?

Taylor Swift.

Er, you might not know it to look at him,

but Harry's actually a, what are the fans, the um,

T. Swift? - Uh.

- Uh, little...

Er, kitty cats, kitty cats.

- [Harry] Swifties.

[Mia retches]

- [Ben] Oh, holy...

- Okay, not a problem.

[Mia sniffles]

- It's all right, darling.

Happens all the time, okay?

Uh, listen, er, think you can make it to the toilet?

Okay, I'll take you to the bathroom.

[Ben groans]

What are you doing?

- Well, I'm covered in vomit.

- Here, now.

- We should probably call Beck.

- Does she call you every time Mia threw up?

- No. - No, I didn't think so.

- I just think she'd want to know about this.

- Why? What's she gonna do?

She's not even in the state.

This is it, mate, this is parenting.

Welcome to the fucking jungle.

I'm sorry, darling, I didn't mean to say that.

- [Mia] It's okay, Mum says it all the time.

- Would've been nice to have been told

before the rest of the house.

- I knew you'd just try and talk me out of it.

- Correct, because we came in here as a team, Harry.

I'm only here because of you.

- You needed a place more than I did.

- Can't you hire nurses?

- Sometimes, yes, but she needs around the clock care

and I can't afford that.

- Really?

- Yes, because I'm bailing you out.

- I need a bucket or a bowl or something,

she's copping it from both ends.

- Hey, no, that's my slow cooker!

- [Ben] Eh?

- Here.

- Cheers.

Here.

- Okay, this might be psychosomatic, but,

I think I might have a bit of a situation.

Oh, yeah, okay.

Just gonna pop upstairs to Heather's en suite.

[Ainsley farts]

- How are you feeling?

- Touch wood.

You?

[playful music]

[Ainsley exclaiming]

[playful music]

- Ugh, gosh.

It's all right, you uh,

you just get it all out.

I'm right here.

I'm in there with you.

Not, not in there,

not in a weird way.

I'm just, I'm with you.

I'm near.

[toilet flushes]

Heather.

I get that you and me are a no-go zone

in the romance department.

But even if we can't be together,

I still want you in my life.

I still want this house to stay together.

So if you're moving out 'cause of me--

- It's not 'cause of you.

It's just something I have to do.

- So, is there a version of your life

with me in it at all?

[Harry heaving]

- Just so you know, Ainsley is down.

And by down I mean in your en suite with diarrhea.

I'm also starting to feel uncomfortable.

And I don't want to cast aspersions over

the quality of your paella,

but is there a connection here?

- Mate, I've been eating it all day and I'm fine.

- Well, are you not feeling anything?

- I don't get sick.

- Well, I can't speak for Ains,

but I reckon Mia's just sick with whatever this bug was

she brought back from camp.

Oh, hey.

How are you, mate?

- I wasn't actually sick on camp.

I just wanted to go home.

My friends locked me out of the cabin.

- Oh, that's all right.

Hey, that's all right.

- Hey, if she's done, can I--

[door thuds shut]

- They're bonding.

- Do they have to do it in there?

- Use mine.

[Harry sighs]

[playful music]

- Oh, Ains, I'm gonna need you to step aside.

- [Ainsley] Don't come up here!

- My situation has suddenly become critical.

- [Ainsley] I am unable to vacate this place.

- [Heather] Use the laundry.

- What do you mean, the laundry?

- The sink.

- [Ainsley] Please, stay back.

- Oh, my God. [exhales]

- No, wait!

I'm soaking every white gown that I own in that sink.

- Oh, I'm so sorry, Liz, I have to.

- Harry, please.

No.

No!

- [Harry] I can't, I'm sorry.

- No!

- [Harry] I'm sorry.

Ah!

Ah!

- Oh, dear God.

- [Harry] Oh, my God.

- Oh.

- [Harry] I'm so sorry, Liz.

I will reimburse you.

- So was it just the three of you or,

wait, how many other kids were in the cabin?

- Doesn't matter.

- Yeah, it does.

Was it just a camp thing or has it been going on at school?

Mate, I know it's hard to talk about this stuff.

- What's the point?

You don't even know any of my friends.

- Yeah, I do. Jupiter.

- Juniper.

- Juniper.

Well, I want to, Mia.

I just, I want you to tell me everything.

- If I tell you about camp will you tell me about jail?

[Ben sighs]

[mobile chiming]

- Where are you?

You said you wouldn't be long.

- I know that and I'm sorry, but we've been hit with a bout

of very sudden and explosive food poisoning.

- Harpreet, I don't like to be lied to.

- Oh, I wish I was lying.

Three of us have come down with it and it is not pretty.

- Is Ains still upstairs?

- [Harry] Yeah.

- Mia's downstairs, okay.

Ugh!

Okay, I'm gonna have to ask you all

to give the zen garden a wide berth for a minute.

- Four. Four of us now.

- How will I get to bed now?

- I'm sorry, you're going to have to wait.

As soon as I can move without soiling myself,

I will be home.

- Perhaps you will.

Or perhaps you will just be enjoying your time

with your gentleman lover.

- Oh Mum, I'm not with a gentleman lover.

- [Manju] Ah, how would I know that?

- Because I just told you.

Mum. [sighs]

[Harry exhales]

[keys jangling]

[Harry exhales]

- What are you doing?

- I have to go back to Mum's.

- No, no, no, no, I'll go.

I'll take the car, I'll take care of her.

You just sit back down.

[keys jangling]

- Oh, no, no, no.

Mm.

- Or just stay where you are.

[Harry exhales]

[gentle music]

- Oh, my God.

[stomach rumbling]

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh! [exhales]]

Mm.

Okay.

Mm.

Manju?

It's Liz.

- [Lad On TV] Most families go away to the beach

for a weekend without this much fuss.

- [Man On TV] He's just finished packing.

- [Liz] Manju?

It's Liz!

Harry's not fit to travel, so I've come to help

and I'm in quite desperate need myself.

Can you please tell me you can hear me?

- Elizabeth?

Where's my son?

- Oh!

He's, I've left him at the house, he's not well,

but I'm also in very real need.

Could you please let me inside so I could use your bathroom?

- [groans] Just a moment.

- Ah!

- Coming.

[Liz exhales]

- I have keys.

I've got keys!

I've got Harry's keys.

Okay.

Ah!

Ah!

[keys jangling]

Ah!

[keys jangling]

[Liz moans]

- I need to know, is he with his male lover?

- Manju, I'm so sorry.

[door bangs shut]

Oh, what the fuck?

Don't come in here, please!

Don't come in here.

[stomach rumbling]

Oh!

Oh.

- [Heather] How's she feeling?

- [Ben] Oh, she just fell asleep.

[Ben sighs]

- Whoa, the movement!

- Oh, sorry, Ains, sorry.

[Ben sighs]

- Oi.

What's up?

- Uh...

Mia's getting bullied at school.

Yeah, I found out what happened at camp.

Her mates ganged up on her,

locked her out in the middle of the night

for a couple of hours,

laughed at her.

And they're the only friends she's got in the entire school.

Anyway, I had no idea what to tell her.

- Cut yourself some slack, mate.

She opened up to you, that's huge.

- We made a deal.

I said um, I said if she told me about school,

I'd tell her about my time in jail.

- Why'd you say that?

- Oh, it doesn't matter, actually.

She passed out before I had to.

She'll probably just forget.

- She's not gonna forget that.

That's the first thought she's gonna have

the minute she wakes up.

[Ben sighs]

- Great.

[stammers] So, what am I supposed to tell her?

- What, about jail?

- No, about being bullied.

- I was bullied at school.

- Me, too.

- To be fair, I was a very easy target.

I was painfully shy and I played the tuba

and in Grade 6 I grew boobs overnight.

Literally.

Just woke up one morning with these.

- Look, it's not a competition, but if it was--

- Oh, I've got more.

- I was one of only three Indian kids in the entire school

and I had these lovely long limbs

and throw in the gay factor as well--

- Okay, I'll pay that and I'll raise you.

This nose.

The '80s?

Kids used to say it was like I had a third arm

in the middle of my face.

1984, 15 kids at a sleepover playing spin the bottle.

Bottle lands on me a dozen times.

Not one boy would kiss me.

- That's horrible. - I think it's a draw.

- Yeah, but see, how are you supposed to arm your kids

against that kinda shit?

- You can't.

Not completely.

- I just used to focus on the things that I loved.

Books, rom-coms, sugar.

- Maybe tell her terrible teen years

generally means your 20s are gonna be a bit...

Actually, my 20s were also pretty shit.

- Look, basically, if you peak in high school

you're fucked for the rest of your life.

Look at Colin.

- Right, you know what?

We gotta get Lizzy in on this.

She was bullied horribly at school.

- Oh, bullshit.

If she wasn't a mean girl I'll go he for Tiggy.

- No, no, she was a massive nerd.

She was crucified.

- Really? [Ainsley laughs]

Lizzy?

- Mm.

- To think someone like that...

Um, not that, I mean, you've all obviously

just nailed it, but um, like, Lizzy?

[line ringing]

- [Liz] Hello?

- Liz, you're on speaker.

We're sharing school bullying stories.

- That fucking paella.

Sorry, Manju.

Has destroyed a $600 pair of pants.

- Ah!

- And my dignity. [retches]

- Do not be self conscious.

I have seen many naked bodies.

You're very well maintained.

I only wish Harpreet could understand

what he's missing out on.

[knocking on door]

[Lachlan sighs]

- Heather.

It's great to see you.

- What are you doing here?

- Ains texted me.

Look, she told me not to come, but I just had to be here

in the spirit of love and healing

and I bought Gastrolyte and immodium

and every kind of disposable wipe known to man.

- Of course.

She's been with you these past few weeks.

- May I come in?

- You hungry?

There's some ripping paella on the stove.

- Uh, I'm good, thanks.

[knocks on door]

Ainsley, can I come in, please?

- [Ainsley] No!

No, no, no, it's not nice in here.

- [sighs] Honestly, I couldn't care less.

Being in love isn't always about cheeky showers

and adorable selfies.

Sometimes it involves flushable wipes.

- You can't flush 'em.

- They're flushable.

- No, they're not.

- Oh, so it's just lying on the packaging?

- Yep.

- Okay, great, thanks.

- [Ainsley] Just, okay, wait.

- How's your wife?

[Lachlan sighs]

- I'm not sure.

We haven't been in communication in over a month.

How's your husband?

- Ains, I know this whole situation with you-know-who

was hard on you--

- Who?

- And I'm sorry for my part in that.

- Guys--

- But if you think this is a good rebound--

- Heather!

- What rebound?

- Nothing.

She's delusional.

[gentle music]

- What's this about a rebound?

- Lachlan, you know I've been in love with you

for the past five years.

Okay?

Everyone else has been a rebound.

From you.

Don't worry about what Heather says.

[birds calling]

[telephone ringing]

- [Liz] Hello?

- Elizabeth, is that you?

- Oh.

Oh, Edwina, hi.

- Hi.

Uh, look, sorry for calling on the weekend.

- Oh, no, that's fine.

- Is there any chance we could meet for breakfast?

- Um...

Actually, tomorrow would be a better fit for me.

- Um, yeah, look, it's actually a matter of some urgency.

- Uh.

How about late afternoon?

Um, preferably somewhere well ventilated.

- [TV Host] With just one look--

- Manju?

Are you sure that there's nothing of Harry's

that I could wear or maybe Harry's dad's?

- No.

He was very fat.

He was very, very fat.

- I'm just, erm, a little bit concerned

about cultural appropriation.

- [laughs] I can't understand your legal jargon,

I really can't.

Ah!

That's not quite your color,

but the shape is very flattering.

Your clothes.

- Oh.

Thank you.

- Elizabeth, can I ask you a question?

- Of course.

- Have a seat.

I've made a cup of tea for you.

Please, sit down.

Have you at any point imagined yourself

marrying my son?

- No.

No.

- It's not ideal, I know,

but you and Harpreet are very close

and if he has a wife, even an old white wife,

it'll make things much easier for everyone.

- I'm sorry, Manju, I don't think that's true.

- Harpreet does not know what he wants.

- I think he does.

- The moment he was born, I've been planning his future.

You're not a mother, you don't know.

- No, I'm not.

But I really love your son.

And for the first time in his life,

he's really living.

Manju, if you just could have seen him and Pete together.

He was so happy--

- Don't put images in my head.

- I know it's an adjustment.

- Thanks for dropping by.

Don't return the sari.

[dramatic music]

- [Ben] I don't know if it just comes naturally

to some people, what to say to your kid,

what's gonna help 'em.

'Cause even after a whole night thinking about it,

I had no idea.

How are you feeling?

- Bit better.

- You're a tough little bugger.

A lot tougher than you think.

- Tell me about jail.

- Mia...

I get why you're interested, but I...

- Why'd you go there?

[Ben sighs]

Did you kill someone?

- What?

- [Mia] Did you steal something?

- No, I...

Look.

The details aren't important.

- They are to me.

I want to know what you did.

[Ben sighs]

- Yeah, all right.

I didn't do anything violent and I didn't steal anything.

There's this plant, right?

This special plant and...

I don't know, look, the bottom line is,

my mates and I were doing stuff we shouldn't have been

and one of my mates, Burkie, was on probation.

So when the coppers showed up,

I pretended it was all mine.

- You took the blame?

- I broke the law.

- For your friend?

- Mate,

I broke the law.

- Was jail scary?

- Yeah, it was, it's horrible.

It was the worst year of my life.

Not being able to see you.

But I'm through it now.

The same way you're gonna get through all this crap.

And you know what, I was talking to the others

and they all went through horrible stuff, too.

- They went to jail?

- No, they just got bullied.

Like really, really badly bullied at school.

And they all said the same thing,

no matter how bad it gets, it'll pass.

You've just got to focus on the stuff that you love

and talk to people.

And know that you're not alone.

- Did you have to join a gang?

- Oh.

Hi.

Rebecca, hi.

It's lovely to see you.

- It's ah, Liz, isn't it?

- It is.

I'm basically in disguise, so well done. [chuckles]

How's Mia feeling?

- What do you mean?

- Oh, nothing.

I mean, not nothing, um, just, we were all um,

quite under the weather last night, but I'm,

I'm sure she's probably fine now.

- Right. [clears throat]

- Yes, let's. [laughs]

Okay.

- I'd say it was a parasite,

but Pathology can turn it around today.

- Um, that is a bloody small container, isn't it?

- [Harry] Yeah, you just scoop a little bit.

- You have to scoop your own poo?

- [Harry] That's right.

- Becca!

- What happened?

- [Ben] Oh, we got a bit crook, didn't we, mate?

- Oh, my God.

- I know, I know.

- [Rebecca] What kind of crook?

- I was throwing up and pooing at the same time.

- Well, the whole house was, to be fair.

How was your trip?

- Mia, go get your bag, please.

- But I want to do a poo sample.

- Mia.

- Go on, mate, it's all right.

- Thanks for having me.

- No worries. - Anytime.

- I specifically asked you to call me

if anything went wrong.

- Oh, I'm sorry, that was my fault.

- This is just between me and her father.

- Look, I just wanted to say that Ben wanted to call you

and um, I told him not to.

- Why would you do that?

- Because seriously, everything was fine.

Mia even opened up to me about camp and the other kids--

- While she was violently ill?

You know what, I'm just gonna get her home.

We can talk about this later.

- Hey.

Mum, you shouldn't be mean to Heather.

- Oh, I'm not being mean, sweetheart.

I was just pointing out that you are not her concern.

- Well, she's Dad's girlfriend, so I kind of am.

- What...

- Here, look, I'll carry your bag.

- Oh, I've got it. [clears throat]

Say goodbye to your dad, Mia.

- See you, mate.

- Bye, Dad, see ya.

[gentle music]

[Ben sighs]

- Thank you.

- Good morning.

- What are you doing here?

- What an excellent question.

- I er, stayed the night.

Just wanted to be here for Ainsley.

- Oh, hey, hey, hey.

Yeah, seriously, I'm um,

I'm so sorry.

- For what?

- Well, I just completely misread that.

- Nah, it's not your fault.

- I just, sorry, seeing as everyone's here,

is it all right if I say something?

- Probably not.

- Just say it.

- Er, last night Ainsley told me about you, Heather,

moving on.

Which I think is a beautiful idea

for the group collectively

and also for you personally. [chuckles]

But obviously, you're gonna need someone

to rent out your room and

we were thinking maybe that person could be me.

- Absolutely not.

- You won't even be here.

You'll be overseas.

- Fine, then I won't go.

- No.

- [Ben] Yes!

- It could be a nice full circle for us, Heather.

I mean, given that you only moved in

because I had to step away.

- You didn't step away, you were expelled.

- Okay, well this is really more of a decision

for the rest of us, Heather.

- He'd be renting my room.

- Okay, see, now you're just being spiteful.

This is what you do.

You tell yourself you're caring for people,

but actually you're just punishing them.

- Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way,

but it's not happening.

- Fine, then I'll move out.

[all bickering]

- All right, I propose we take a step back.

Okay, this is not a conversation that we need to have

in front of Lachlan.

I suggest that we all ruminate and then at say,

five p.m. we all go to the house message thread

and offer a simple yes or no,

are we happy for Lachlan to replace Heather?

- Could I--

- No, I think you've made your point.

Lachlan or no Lachlan, yes or no.

Five p.m.

[pop music playing]

- Hi. - Ah.

- I am so sorry to do this.

- Oh, not at all.

- Oh, God, you are so thin.

What are you doing?

- Oh, um, Bikram.

What's happening?

Are you all right?

- Yeah, look, no.

Things aren't great.

In fact, things are borderline horrific.

Sebastian and I are divorcing.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

- It's already a nightmare.

He wants to cut me out of the estate.

He intends to claim infidelity.

Liz, I wanted to see you face to face because

I don't know if you recall my little indiscretion

in your commune?

- Oh.

Just a vague memory.

Yes.

- Might I ask, have you mentioned that to anyone?

- Of course not.

- Oh, thank God.

Oh, Sebastian's gone with Kane and Macavity

and they are really digging

and a detail like that, well.

I would very much appreciate it

if you could keep it to yourself.

- I have.

- And continue to keep it to yourself.

- I will.

- Thank you.

- I understand.

And of course, if I were your lawyer,

I couldn't possibly mention it.

To anyone.

Lawyer-client privilege.

- Sorry?

- Edwina, let me represent you.

You know I'm the best, the most thorough,

the most committed.

- But you can't practice.

- I can.

As long as my employer consents.

- Are you blackmailing me?

- You need to save your estate.

I need--

[stomach rumbles]

- You all right?

- I'm tough.

I'm desperate and I will leave no stone unturned.

- Cameron's already agreed to represent me.

- Forget Cameron.

I...

Will commit every waking hour 24/7 for as long as it takes.

You know I will.

- Do I have an option?

- Not really.

- This is a bit weird.

Feels like we're doing a drug deal.

- You told her you went to jail.

- No.

No, she knew.

[Rebecca scoffs]

She did, Beck.

- You talked to her about drugs?

- Well, I didn't want to lie to her.

It was so hard dancing around it.

She's so smart-- - Tell me about it!

I have had to dance around it every day

for the last two years, Ben,

and then you just blow in and drop it on her

just like that?

- Well, no, it wasn't just like that.

I mean, I swear to God, I didn't even tell her

which type of drugs it was--

- Oh, she's 12 years old, Ben.

And you told her that normal people like her own father

get involved with drugs.

Also...

If you're in a relationship with someone,

then that is great, but you just need to tell me

so that I can be--

- Well, I'm not. I'm not.

- Well, she said you were together with Heather--

- Well, she might have said that, but,

I mean, I was for a little bit, but I,

honestly, I have no idea how she found that out.

I didn't tell her.

[Rebecca scoffs]

Fuck!

- [sighs] I want you in her life, Ben.

I have always wanted that.

- I know.

- But it has to be in an environment

that you can control and

not in a share house with four other people.

- Well, Beck, you've just, you've gotta...

Fuck.

["Boxing Day" by Rabbit Island]

I had no idea what to do with myself,

so I just cruised around the park for a bit.

Ended up doing about 18 laps

before I got my head sorted out.

And when five p.m. finally rolled around,

decision time,

I found myself out the front, staring at the house

and my phone.

I genuinely shocked myself

with what I ended up putting down.

"Bit of a change of heart for me, turns out.

"RE: Lachlan, I'm not a yes or a no.

"I actually vote we sell.

"We sell the house.

"ASAP."

♪ And I'm a liar through my tears ♪

♪ I am a liar through your fears ♪

♪ And I'm happier

♪ Now you can feel so good

Caught me off guard how quickly everyone agreed.

Three messages in a minute and a half.

Everyone but Lizzy, and she had no skin in the game anyway.

And just like that,

the whole thing was over.

- All right.

Thanks, Declan.

Hey.

- Hey.

- I'm heading back to Mum's now.

Uh, just so you know, Pathology got back to me.

Shellfish poisoning.

- Mm.

- Mm.

- Harry, uh...

There's a strong chance that I've made things worse

with your mum.

- Oh, well, it's not like you could agree to marry me, so--

- No, it's more than that, I uh...

I talked up Pete.

Which was clearly the wrong thing to say.

- Why would you bring up Pete?

- I was making a broader point about acceptance.

I'm sorry.

[Harry clears throat]

- Hey, Ben.

Uh, FYI, the result came back to me.

Prawns.

[Ben groans]

Mm.

- Paella was cursed.

- I don't think curses are real.

- Just let me call it a curse.

Otherwise it was all my fault. [chuckles]

- Is Ains in her room?

- Probably.

- You okay?

- Not really.

- Well, just letting you know the uh,

the results confirmed it was shellfish poisoning.

- [sighs] Are you sure?

- Why?

- I've just been feeling queasy all week.

- Oh, well, maybe you have a virus.

It's probably worth seeing your GP.

Unless you're pregnant.

[both laugh]

[playful music]

- [Announcer] Next time on "Five Bedrooms."

- I know we're all heading our separate ways, all right?

But I'm buggered if I'm walking away

with any bad blood between us.

- I'm pregnant.

- Can I come and see you for five minutes?

I have something I really need to say to you,

face to face.

- What I'm about to tell you

will come as a bit of a shock.

- We are not dealing with this in front of the others.

I don't want to see one flicker

or anything, especially in front of Heather.

- What's happening, Ains?

Something's happening.

- I'm fine.

- Mr. Portelli, there is something I need to say to you.

- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

- We are ready to open bidding

on this incredible family home.

[upbeat music]