All language subtitles for Five.Bedrooms.S01E02_English

- Every couple in this room

[upbeat music]
is happy on some level

because they own houses.

- Five of you could chip
in, buy a house together

and you'd have more buying power

than a married couple times two.

- Going three times.

Sold!

[cheering]

- Melanie.

- Where is my husband?

- Your wife's upstairs.

- I've been in love with
you the entire time.

- You never said anything.

- You can't make him move out.

- I've already
got a replacement.

- Who?

- Me.

[dog whining]

- Hey, Bruce.

Hey, Bruce.

It's okay, it's okay.

[dog continues whining]

[narrating] No one really
believed I was moving out.

Except Bruce, and I
hadn't even told him.

This is not your fault.

Didn't need to.

You're a good boy.

He was smart enough
to see the signs.

- Love, what time is it?

- It's 8:45, Col.

- Can you talk to
the dog outside?

You know how hard it is for
me to get back to sleep.

- Ains is gonna be
here in half an hour.

If you don't get up now,
you're gonna miss me.

[Colin snoring]

[narrating] Unlike the
rest of the family.

- I just don't understand.

- But we've established that.

I had hoped this conversation

would have played out
with us in opposite roles.

Oi.

I thought maybe when you
turned 20, 21, 23 even,

you'd wanna spread your wings.

Clearly not, so I'm
gonna do it for you.

I'm leaving.

[dog whining]

- You moving in with Ainsley?

- No offense, mom, but is
Ainsley as into that as you are?

- This is about the snoring.

- It's not the snoring, Col.

It's the disintegration of my
identity and my will to live.

- Just roll me
over onto my side.

- This is the loan approval.

I need you to sign both
bits with post-its.

- No.

- No is not an option.

- I'm not signing anything
without my lawyer.

- You don't have a lawyer.

- .

- He's an accountant.

[dog whining]
- [whispering] Come on,

come on, come on.

- We invited you into our
family, into our home.

- I did pay rent, Colin.

- And this is how you thank us.

- I'm sorry.

- Why are you
apologizing to him?

- Apology accepted.

You know this won't last.

You'll be back in
time for breakfast.

You don't like people, Heather!

- We're both scared,
we're both in free fall.

I'm feeling a bit nauseated too

but that's just what happens

when you make the right
decision for your life.

- That sounds like bullshit.

- Hey, just you're
gonna be living

with these people so a bit
of a smile wouldn't hurt.

- Ladies, welcome home.
♪ She cries your name.

[chuckles] Sorry, sorry.

♪ Three times again.

- What the fuck have I done?

- You know what'll cheer you up?

- Yes.

One Valium.

- No.

We're having a few of
the neighbors around

for a housewarming tonight.

- What?

Why would you do that?

- Apparently there's
a bit of curiosity

building up about us.

It might do you
some good to chat

with some new people. - Why would I meet anyone

tonight?

I don't even wanna talk to you.

- You won't have
to lift a finger.

I'm organizing it.

Harry's mom is gonna do
[phone ringing]

the food.

All you have to do is pop on an elasticated pan.

If that's Colin, you
don't have to answer it.

- I'm not picking up next time so this better be good.

What?

No.

Yeah.

Yep. [sighs]

Bruce has run away.

- Hey there, stop.

Stop.

Okay, just remember
all those times

when you tried to leave.

And you'd come and you'd stay
in the granny flat with me.

And every time,

you'd swear on the boys lives that you wouldn't leave.

And every morning, I'd
wake up and you'd be gone.

- I need to know Bruce is okay.

- Bruce is a smart dog.

He can take care of himself.

He's probably just
around the corner

dry-humping the Shih Tzu.

- He loves that Shih Tzu.

- Yeah. [laughs]

You can do this.

Just make it through the night.

Okay.

There is a chance that Heather will try to leave.

There may be tears, possibly
some low-grade violence.

If she does try to
make a break for it,

she usually responds
to certain triggers.

- What do you mean, triggers?

- Oh, just mention
something like Colin snoring

or, "You'll be 50 soon,"
I find is quite effective.

Okay, so Ben, you good to
hand out the invites with me?

- Yup.

- And Harry, are you sure your
mom's okay to do the food?

We'll reimburse her for all
the shopping, of course.

- No, no.

Please, just let her leave with a quiet understanding

of a debt that can
never be repaid.

- Hey, is it all right if Iinvite a couple of footy mates?

- Yeah, of course.

Liz, I'm assuming you don't want to invite anyone.

- We'll be lucky if
Liz is here herself.

- It's just an
insane time at work.

I think an all-nighter
might be on the cards.

- What, are you
embarrassed by us?

- No, no.

As I mentioned, I'm not
much of a socializer.

If I get home by 10:00 or 11:00,

I might catch the
tail end of it.

- You're not gonna, are you?

- Probably not, no.

[dogs barking]

- Hey, any chance you'd fancy a bit of a set-up tonight?

- Set up, as in?

- It's just a mate
of mine, Semo.

He's coming on
his own because...

Well, he's single and he's
very keen to meet you.

- What? Why?

- I showed him your photo.

- Right, well, [stutters]
thank you for thinking of me

but I'm not really
in that place yet.

We just moved into number 61

and we wanted to invite
you to our casual drinks,

house-warming thing this
evening if you're interested.

I'm Ainsley, this is Ben.

- Val.

- Sorry it's such late notice.

We just thought it'd be good

to introduce ourselves
to the street.

Do you do many social gatherings
amongst the neighbors?

- Unfortunately, yes.

And as a general rule,
I try and avoid them.

- Ah, sorry.

- Are you married?

- No.

It's just a group of
friends, a little collective.

- Oh, is this a religious thing?

- No.

- Don't know. It's--
- What?

- Well, [both
stutter] I'm not sure

where the others stand on it.

- I don't think anyone's
particularly devout.

- How do you know I'm not?

- Are you?

- Nah. [laughs]

[Ainsley laughs awkwardly]

- Is it BYO?

- No, we're doing
drinks and nibbles.

- Hmm.

All right.

I'll be here.

- Residents of number 61?

- Yeah, five of us.

So it's just some drinks
and nibbles to say hi.

- Are you all related or?

- No, just friends.

Yeah, or friends of friends.

- It's just a gang.

Pitched in together, you know?

Five singles, ready
to mingle. [laughs]

- Just in terms of how
we describe ourselves,

maybe don't say, "Single
and ready to mingle."

Because I'm pretty sure

he thinks he's just been
invited to a sex party.

- Yeah, roger that.

How should we describe
ourselves then?

- Co-investors?

- That's right.

Co-investors and also
residential partners.

Not partners. [laughs awkwardly]

More of an alliance,
a residential
alliance if you will.

- How else do you get into
the market these days?

Good on ya.

Buck the system,
that's what I say.

- Exactly.
- That's it.

- Yeah, used to be all
the rage in the '70s.

Still is in Utah, I believe.

And why not?

I mean, you're only
young once, aren't you?

- No, it's not a
romantic arrangement

in any sense.

- Well, either way,
no judgment here.

- Look, last time I'll
bring it up but Semo--

- Ben, look.

- He's a decent bloke, Ains.

Maybe not your usual type,
nothing like Lachlan.

He's a midfielder so he's
always got your back.

- Thank you, but I'm still
very much in post-Lachlan fog.

- Would it help to see a photo?

- No.

- Ah, all right.

[Heather sighs]

- [Timmy] Hey, mom.

- Have you found Bruce yet?

- [Timmy] No, no sign yet.

- What are you doing?

- [Timmy] Watching a movie.

- Put the chips down.

Turn the TV off.

Get off your ass and check
the bins near the park.

Check the Cirillas, the Chongs,

and the ugly house with
the Maltese Terrier cross.

And get back to me!

- [Timmy] Okay, mom.

I'll do it now.

So how's the new place?

- It's fine.

Thanks for asking.

Now, go and find Bruce for me

and get your dad to
fix that bloody fence.

- Okay.

[dramatic music]

- [narrating]
Happened every time.

I'd start strong but then
something would spook me.

Could be a phone call.

Could be a photo.

[dog barking]

Could be a distant sound.

[phone ringing]

- Hey, Ben.

- Hey, sorry to call so soon.

Just a quick one.

- I appreciate your
ongoing romantic assistance

but really, I'm--

- No, no.

This has nothing
to do with Semo.

It's Heather.

- Is she still there?

- Yeah, she's still here.

Just rolling around on
the grass with a dog.

- That'll be Bruce.

It's not as weird as it
looks, but it's not good.

- Yeah, because it could be
weird but they're both into it.

- Okay.

Bruce is Heather's
achilles heel.

He's the one thing
that could get her

to buckle and go home,

so I need you to maintain a
visual while I text her husband.

- Righto.

- Okay.

- Sorry I'm late.

It was a rough morning.

- Just don't let her
out of your sight

until Colin gets there, okay?

I'll call back soon.

Bye.

Sorry.

You okay?

- I've been better.

- Right.

- Haven't really been sleeping.

I can get to sleep okay
but then I wake up.

My focus is all over the place

and I haven't even
been able to work out.

- It's been
difficult for me too.

- Maybe one of us should
move on to another job.

- What?

- I'd put my hand up obviously

but things have been
so tight financially,

losing out on the house.

- You've moved back
in with Melanie

and Heather's paid you out.

You've lost nothing, Lachlan.

- Yeah, but she
hasn't paid me out.

Not yet.

She's not even
answering my messages.

- Oh, I didn't know that.

Sorry.

[stutters] We'll get it to you.

I'll follow that up, sorry.

- That'd be great, because Mel's
really on my case about it.

Joel, Melinda!

Yes, good morning.

[phone ringing

- Ains.

- Ben.
- Yeah?

- Your mate Semo.

- He's game.

- In what way is he
different to Lachlan?

- Pretty much every way.

- Send me a picture.

[Lachlan chatting with
clients in background]

[acoustic music]

- Ah, here we go.

- I'll leave you to it.

- No, you can stay.

- Sorry about Bruce getting out.

It's not his fault, he
just missed his mum.

You're not gonna ask me in?

- Not today.

- The boys are
inconsolable, love.

Timmy's hardly eaten.

- He was inhaling
chips 20 minutes ago.

- It's not just about the boys.

I miss you.

And Bruce misses you.

It's not right
without you there.

- Did you sign the forms yet?

- No, and I'm not gonna either

because you're not gonna
last a night, Heather.

You never do.
- Fine.

I'll forge your signature.

I've been doing it
for years anyway.

- That's illegal.

- Tell your accountant about it.

- Tell you what.

When you come home, we're gonna
have a long chat about this.

Because you've taken this
to the next level this time.

- What's going on now?

- If I make any attempt to
leave this house before dawn,

you have permission
to break both my legs.

- All right.

- The only way I'm leaving
here is in a bloody ambulance.

[acoustic music]

[narrating] I knew
I was on the ropes,

but that bell was not
gonna ring this time.

Or if it did ring,

I wasn't gonna be conscious
enough to hear it.

[men chatting]

- There she is.

Ains, meet the boys.

Banger, Nozi.

This is Ains.

- How you doing?

- Do you want help
with all this?

- Sure.

- They're a red
Forby at the front.

So Semo is just on his way now.

He's pumped.
- Ben,

no one's supposed
to be here yet.

I'm still in my work clothes.

- Oh, the lads just like
to get a few under the belt

to warm up.

You're fine, you look great.

- Where's Heather?

- She's up in her
room, unconscious.

She popped a little
something before.

She's got a strange
look on her face

but I think she's comfortable.

- I'm gonna go and get
changed and then I will--

Oh, Mrs. Sifi.
- Hello, hello.

- Hey, let me take that for you.

Sorry, Harry's still at work.

- Nice to know Harprit
is responding to
someone's messages.

- Well, you know Ben?

Ben, would you take the--

- Hello.
- Help.

- You look like you're all
right for a couple cans.

- Cindy, I am off.

I'll see you tomorrow.
- Oh, Mr. Sifi,

I am so sorry but your mother
called and left a message.

Actually, several.

First, she needed to know the
dimensions of your home oven.

Couldn't quite
understand number two.

Something about oven trays.

Third, she said it was
too late, don't call back.

And fourth, please call back.

Also, we've just had a walk-in.

I did warn her it was
extremely unlikely

you'd be able to see her.

- [sighs] Barb.

Come on through.

- And if he starts banging on

about the ethics
of the situation,

just bring it back
to the central facts.

- Pivot, pivot, pivot.

- So what's in store for you
and Stuart this evening, Liz?

Something delightful, I hope.

- Oh, I'm afraid I'm leaving
to do it to his own devices.

I'll be here for a while yet.

- Not too long, you hear me?

- Yes, ma'am.

- Excellent.

Well, I'm off.

- Enjoy the housewarming.

Can't wait to hear about it.

- Sorry, housewarming?

- It's this very
unusual situation.

Five singles

who board into some sort of
communal living arrangement.

- Is it like a gated community?

- No, I think it's
a quarter acre lot.

It's the girl who looks
after my rentals, Ainsley.

She's a lovely girl so I
have to put in an appearance,

God help me.

What about you and
Janet? You're off to Lon?

- Actually,

we've got Malcolm coming
around for dinner again.

- God, is he even
close to signing?

- I'm hoping a vintage Pinot

might just get him
across the line.

[Edwina laughs]

- [Ainsley] Hi, you've
reached Ainsley.

I can't take your
call right now--

[people chatting
in the background]

- Heather.

Heather.

Heather!

I'm just checking you're alive.

Party's starting.

Bit of a weird atmosphere.

Could really use a hand.

So for some reason
I've agreed to a set-up

with a friend of Ben's.

His name's Semo.

What's your position
on rebound sex?

[Heather snores]

My gut says you'd be into it.

Thanks.

[upbeat music]

- We don't really
talk about it usually,

it depends on the company,

but I actually
lived in a commune.

It was the '70s.

- Oh, really?

- What if one of
you meets someone?

- I think we would be
very happy, of course.

And I guess we'd just
cross that bridge--

- What if one of you dies?

Legally.

Emotionally, obviously
not ideal either,

but legally, it's
gotta get messy?

- Well, yeah.

So sorry, can you
just excuse me for--

Sorry, one second.

One second.

You're here!

- No, no, not here.

- What?

- I have a situation in
which I need your discretion.

- Okay.

- I'm gonna call
it your discretion.

- Okay, what is it?

- Edwina Crow.

- You know Edwina.
- She's the senior partner

in my firm.

It's complicated.

We don't really have the
time to go into the details.

But the bottom line is,

I have yet to
communicate to Edwina

that I am a recently divorced--

- Oh my god.

You were married?

- And be living in this house.

- You are embarrassed by us.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

It's not about embarrassment.

It's just there's been
a lot going on work

and there hasn't
been an ideal time

to advertise my
personal problems.

- What exactly am
I supposed to do?

- Having any reference to me.

- Yeah, but what
about the others?

What if she mingles
with the others?

- She doesn't mingle.

No, no, no.

She'll be in and
out very quickly.

Look, I know it's a lot
to unpack and we will.

Just I don't exist.

Liz does not exist at all.

Thank you.

I'm forever in your debt.

[door closes]

- Elizabeth!

Harprit said you weren't coming.

- I'm not staying,
unfortunately.

Is everything all right?

- Yes.

I was just trying to
look for some utensils

that I couldn't find in
the kitchen, you know?

Harprit is avoiding me.

- No, no.

He'd be at work.

I'm sure he's on his way.

- Look, I'm doing my
best to support him

with this house and this
romantic business with you.

- Manju.

[laughs nervously]
There is no...

There's no romantic business.

- Honestly?

- We really are just friends.

- Hope I wasn't
too disapproving.

- No, no, no.

- Elizabeth, help me.

What's going wrong?

What have I done wrong?

- [Ainsley] Edwina, you made it!

[door slams]

- [Manju] What does
he say to you about?

- Obviously, we've had a
few issues with the plumbing

which is a bit embarrassing
and possibly a health hazard.

- [Edwina] I can
see the potential.

- Ains, might I be able
to introduce to you

Kevin Daniel Richard Fitzongs,

otherwise known as Semo.

- Hi.

- Great, honor to meet you.

And might I say, you look even
more beautiful in real life

than you do on Instagram.

I feel like I'm looking
at a filter, a pretty one.

- This is my friend, Edwina.

Edwina, this is my housemate Ben

and his footballing
colleague, Semo.

- Edwina.

Can you call you Eddy?

- Rather you didn't.

- Fair enough.

[awkward silence]

You all wanna do a shot?

- Yep.
- Yes.

- Absolutely.

- Ben, he tells me
you've recently come out

of a very disappointing,
one-sided crush.

- Ha!

Yeah.

- He also tells me you like
watching the television.

- Edwina.

- Not for me, thank you.

- Semo, Ains.

- Go on then.

- Yeah?

Saddle up.

- There it is.

- Go again?

[muffled party music]

[phone ringing]

- [Timmy] Hey, mum.

I can't find Bruce's bowl.

[beep]

Is there some sort of trick

to getting the
sprinklers to turn off?

[beep]

- [narrating] It's
almost a reflex action,

like auto-pilot.

- [Timmy] Mom,
where's the remote?

It's not on the couch.

- [Louie] He's a
total cock head, mum.

- [Timmy] I'm a cock head?
- [Louie] He's not listening

to anything that I'm saying
or what dad's saying.

- [Timmy] I don't
have to listen to you.

Shut up.

- [Louie] The whole
thing didn't catch fire.

[Timmy and Louie
talking over each other]

I'm gonna kill him!

- [narrating] You
know you're doing it.

You just don't recall
giving yourself permission.

- Oh, is this the part where
I should break your legs?

- Under normal
circumstances, yes,

but this is an emergency.

- Ah-ah.

Is that an overnight bag?

- No.

- What kind of emergency?

- Flood, fire.

Probable homicide or petracide.

Is that the one where
the kid kills the dad?

- I don't know.

- It's more likely it'd
be Timmy killing Louie

or vice versa.

Have they got a name for that?

- It sounds to me like
a couple of teenagers

trying to get their
mum's attention.

- They're 21 and 23.

- Well, how about this?

You stay here, you
give me the address.

I'll do a drive by and make sure

there's no flood,
or fire, or death.

- No, see, the house looks
normal from the outside

but if you knew what was
going on behind the door.

- All right, final offer.

You come with me in the ute

but under no circumstances
are you to exit the vehicle.

Deal?

- Heath, I'm sorry but
you have to get up!

Ben's disappeared and I'm
the only housemate here

and [sighs] shit!

- You may as well, mate.

What have you got to lose?

- Ainsley.

- Sorry.

You haven't seen Ben, have you?

- Not for a while, no.

Are you all right?

- Not really, no.

This party's a catastrophe.

I mean, people look like
they're in physical pain.

- I'm having a lovely time.

- How is that even possible?

- Guess it depends on
what your definition

of a good time is.

For me, it's all about
your personal connections.

I struggle a bit
with small talk.

Big conversations
are my favorites.

Bigger the better, really.

- People aren't even talking.

- Well, that's nice too.

Just to spend some
time reflecting,

thinking about what's important.

There's power in the spaces.

- I might just...

- Yeah, yeah, you go.

Don't let me hold you.

[acoustic music]

[ute engine running]

[engine stops]

- I knew he'd forget
the bloody sprinklers!

- Whoa, whoa.

Wait, we made a deal, remember?

Where's the tap?

- It's only around the corner.

- Shit!

- Oi!

[dog barking]

- Oh, shit!

[Colin falls]

- Are you all right, Colin?

Heather!

[Colin groaning in paining]

- Are you all right, dad?

- We've had a bloody
home invasion.

- Oh, bullshit.

He was just trying to
turn the sprinklers off.

- Mum!
- You're back.

- You ran at him like a fool
and you smashed into the fence.

No, I'm not.

These are my sons,
Timmy and Louie.

And you've met Colin.

This is Ben.
- I think I've

broken my hand.

- Are you mum's new housemate?

- Yeah, you fellas
should come for a visit.

I tell you what, come
around for a swim.

- There's a pool?
- You didn't tell us

there was a pool.

- I think I need to
get to the hospital.

- You do not.

- I can't move my hand.

- Okay, show me.

- No, don't touch it.

[Colin cries out in pain]

- I could give you a lift.

- No, no, no.

Timmy will take him.

- Actually, mum,
I'm pretty stoned.

- I knew you wouldn't last.

- I'm not back, Col.

- Look at you, sitting in a ute

beside the nature
strip at 10:00 p.m.

- I was checking the sprinklers.

- That's actually true, mate.

- Doesn't concern you.

- Look, fair enough but
just for the record,

we popped out for some supplies

and she remembered
the sprinklers, so
we made a quick stop.

Then we were heading
straight back to the party.

- You're having a party.

- No.

It was Ainsley's
ridiculous attempt

at having a housewarming.

- You walk out on your
marriage of 25 years.

your two innocent children.

- They're 21 and 23.
- And have a party.

- I wasn't even conscious.
- A real soiree.

- As if I'd organize a party.

- You don't even like parties.

- That's what I just said.

[Ben whistles]

- Very nice for you.

While I'm home alone.

- With your sons.

- In mortal pain.

- You weren't in mortal pain.

I should have just
stayed at the party.

None of this would
have happened.

- Not even an invitation,
that's where we are now.

[phone beeping]

- Mate, could you just check
to see who that was, please?

- I cannot move my arm.

- Jesus Christ.

[party music]

- I've got some more party
pies in the oven coming.

Yeah.

- [Ben] Good day, this is Ben.

Leave a message.

- Where are you?

Okay, you're not here, Harry's
not here, Heather's not here.

And I think Edwina's

having some sort of allergic
reaction to the tequila.

I don't know.

- Little known fact,

you can actually do the
nutbush to this song.

- Oh. [laughs awkwardly]

Wherever you are, you
need to come back.

Oh, thank god.

- Have you seen my mum?

- I think she's
somewhere with Liz.

I don't know.

Don't you go anywhere, okay?

I am the only housemate here.

I'm dealing with a
dozen bored footballers

and a deeply strange smell

that I'm telling people
is the wallpaper,

but I don't think it is, Harry.

- Ains, honestly, you
versus the footballers

is better odds than
anyone versus my mum.

I'm sorry.

- Hey, Ains.

You got any sauce for these?

- Actually, I quite
like his hair.

- Yes.

But for the younger
girls, not so good.

And there are products
he can use to grow it.

Shane Won is a great ambassador.

- Mum, I'm so sorry I'm late.

I hope you're not hijacking Liz.

- No, we've been
having a lovely chat.

- Very, very lovely.

[both laugh]

Liz has been very informative,
Harprit, actually.

We are a lot more
similar than I realized.

[both laugh]

- That's terrifying.

But mum, I think we've got

a bit of a pastry
emergency in the kitchen.

- Of course, of course.

[party music]

- I'm sorry.
- No, no.

It's good, it's good.

I managed to convince her
that we're not a couple.

Bad news,

she's enlisted me to match
make you with Indian girls.

I didn't know what to say.

Fuck.

[door slams]

- Hey, can I get you something
from the vending machine?

- No, no, it's fine.

- You sure?

Chips or chocolate?
- You know what?

You've done enough
so please just go.

- Well, how are
you gonna get home?

- Well, I'll get a taxi.

Look, go get drunk.

Have sex, do something fun.

We'll be fine.

- Well, good to meet you Colin.

I'm sorry about all this.

I'll see you tonight.

- Could you have a seat, please?

- Thank you.

[Heather groans]

- I know things haven't
always been easy between us.

But I've never lied to you,

and I'm only gonna
ask you this once.

Is this what's really happening?

Are you leaving
me for that bloke?

- Christ sake, Col.

He's 15 years younger than me.

- He's jumping fences for you.

- You're an idiot.

- You've still got no idea

how much of a bloody
knockout you are.

- Colin Doyle.

- Yep, thank you.

- Come this way.

- I swear, if you keep limping
I'm gonna break that leg.

- I'm not limping,
this is how I walk now.

[party music]

- Such a terrible tragedy.

[people chatting]

- Hey, Benny.

- Hey.

- Where were you?

- Hey, just taking Heather's
husband to the hospital.

- Just don't move, don't--

Hang on, what?

- Colin had a bit of a mishap.

He's fine.
- Okay.

Actually, I don't care.

This party is awful
and you need to fix it.

- Have you been
free pouring shots?

- Several times.

- Have you been
offering tomato sauce

with all the finger
food and stuff?

- Yeah, and barbeque
sauce and sweet chili.

- Yeah, righto.

Semo.

- Hmm?

- Limber up, son.

It's time to pull
out the big guns.

- What?

Limber up for what?

- You're gonna love it.

- Are the big guns
attached to Semo's body?

- Nah, it's a song.

- It's more than
a song, actually.

It's a call to arms.

"Chandelier, Sia"

- Slow beginning,
just wait for it.

Played this on our
last trip to Bali.

Let's just say we were all
banned from Facebook for a time.

[Semo singing along]

[Everyone joins in]

- What is happening?

♪ One two three, one
two three, drink ♪

♪ Throw them back
till I lose count ♪

♪ I'm gonna swing
from the chandelier ♪

♪ From the chandelier,
from the chandelier ♪

♪ I'm gonna live like
tomorrow doesn't exist ♪

♪ Like it doesn't exist

[music and singing muffled]

♪ I'm gonna fly like a
bird from the night ♪

♪ Feel my tears
cause it's right ♪

♪ I'm gonna swing
- Ains!

♪ From the chandelier,
from the chandelier ♪

[Ainsley screams and laughs]

♪ I'm gonna live like
tomorrow doesn't exist, ♪

♪ Like it doesn't exist
[Edwina falls]

[everyone goes quiet]

- I'm okay.

[everyone cheers]

[slow music]

- Oh my god!

- I just came in here
because I'm overheated,

because I'm on
antibiotics and I--

Elizabeth?

That's all right,
I'm just a bit--

This is Fridge.

- Well, the Fridge.

- And this is my colleague.

- Yeah, I know Lizzy.

It's Benny's housemate.

- What?

- Benny's hot housemate.

- I seem to be missing
numerous pieces of the puzzle.

- Actually, Edwina,
the Fridge is right.

I do live here.

In fact, this is my room.

- You live here?

With Stuart?

- No, Stuart and I
separated over a year ago.

- Start again, but slowly.

- Maybe this is the
wake up call I needed.

I'll do whatever it
takes, whatever you want.

You just gotta be specific.

- Why didn't we
ever go to Europe?

- We nearly got
there a few times.

- But we didn't, did we?

Why was that?

- Well, there was that
time you were having

trouble with your lady bits

and you were worried about
bursting on the plane.

And then you canceled Rome
because Timmy got done for DUI

and you had to be a
character witness.

- Yeah, I forgot about that.

[slow music]

- When you talk about the
disintegrating and drowning,

I never really knew
what you meant.

But I do now.

You're not happy.

- Are you happy?

- I was.

I had you, the boys.

Zone to zone live
coverage of the footy.

But I can't be
happy if you're not.

If you come back to me, I'll
do whatever you want me to do.

- That was very good, very good.

[laughs]

Where's the car?

- You live next door, Martie.

- That's handy. [laughs]

- [sighs] See you, Edwina.

Good effort.

- Yeah, thanks. [laughs]

So when exactly did
the separation occur?

- Mid last year.

- Liz!

Was it sad?

- I think you'd call it a
slow break down of trust.

I know I should have told you

but I see the kind of person
that makes partner at the firm,

and they don't
have messy divorces

or live in share houses
with plumbing problems.

- You know, I was skeptical
about this place at first

but I don't, there's life here
and confusion and abandon.

- Dry mold.

- There's a part
of me that thinks,

"Maybe I should pack it all in
and do something like this."

- Seriously?

- Well, no.

I'm drunk, I'm very drunk.

- Edwina, it goes without saying

that I will tell everyone
at work about my situation,

if you have any concerns
about my honestly.

- I don't think your situation
has any more relevance

than my interaction
with the Fridge.

Do you get my drift?

- I believe I do.

- What happened in the
commune stays in the commune.

[car honking]

See you Monday.

Yes, hello!

Edwina.

- Do you do Christmas
drinks on the street?

Because if not, we're definitely
hosting Christmas drinks

in December, and July.

Bye!

- Well, I'll be off.

I thought I'd take a
couple of bags of rubbish,

save your bin space.

- Are you sure you don't
want one more drink?

- Look, Benny told me

you're in the market
for a rebound fella,

and as much as I'd be honored
to fill that position,

I think you might have
your eye on someone else.

- What?

- Benny.

- Sorry?

- It's okay.

He's a good looking rooster.
- Oh my god, no.

He has a thing with Liz, not me.

And we have a strict
rule, no housemate love.

And I--

[kissing sounds]
[dramatic music]

- All of this can
freeze, all of it, right?

And this must be
eaten fresh tomorrow.

- I hope you like channa masala

because we're gonna be eating
it for the next three weeks.

- Good night, Liz.

We'll be in touch, won't we?

- Oh yes.

- Oh yes.

We've got plans, huh?

So Harprit, can you please
bring these pots to the car?

Thanks.

- What plans?

[Manju singing]

- Harprit, now I know why
you like Elizabeth, huh?

Keep this here. [laughs]

- I'm glad you're
both getting along.

- Yeah.

Yes, of course.

She's too old for you, but
with age comes wisdom, hmm?

- Mom, just in terms
of my love life,

let me handle it myself, okay?

- But that's what I've
been doing, Harprit.

Where is the woman?

[soft music]
You're such a handsome man.

You're a doctor,
you're so slender.

- I just haven't met
the right person yet.

- I think I understand.

You just don't want me around.

- No, of course I do.

You know I appreciate
everything you do for me.

I know how hard you
worked for tonight.

Mum, I...

I love you.

[door closes]

- Did you boys do all this?

- Fantastic effort, fellows.

- How's the finger, dad?

- It's the wrist--
it's the whole hand.

It's pretty sore
but I'm all right.

- I'm so proud of you.

Col.

Take two every four hours.

The last dose was
only an hour ago

so take the next lot at 10:00.

You look after your dad.

- Please.

Just stay.

This is where you belong.

- It would be so easy to just...

But I'm not going to.

This could be the biggest
mistake of my life

but I can't keep [mumbles].

I can't keep blaming you
and the boys for everything.

Whatever happens next,
it's gotta be up to me.

- Wait a tick.

We'll be here,
when you're ready.

Love you.

- You too.

[door closes]

[Ainsley groans]

[birds chirping]

- Morning.

- Good morning.

- We didn't, if
you're wondering.

We didn't have sex.

- I know that.

- Had a terrific chat, though.

- We did, didn't we?

What did we chat about again?

- We spent a fair bit of time
on a fellow called Lachlan.

A solid hour there.

- Yep.

- Didn't get as much
detail about Scott.

- Oh, good, we went
back to high school.

- And then full
circle, back to Benny.

Yeah.

It's all right, Ains.

Benny won't be hearing
anything from me.

I'm a vault.
- Semo.

I was really drunk

and feeling a lot of love
for humanity in general,

but I don't like him.

- It's just you're blushing.

[car engine rumbling]

- Thank you.

- Oi, here she is.

- You made it home.

- Yeah, yeah.

It was a touch and go.

- Oh, thanks.

- Yeah?

- Thank you.

- Look, I know
this is a bit weird

and we don't know
each other very well.

- Or at all.

- But I'm proud of you.

- Morning.

- Semo, mate.

How'd you pull up?

Where'd you pull up?

- I'd love to tell you but
a gentleman reveals nothing.

- [Ben] Don't worry
about the rubbish, mate.

- [Semo] It's too easy.

- Ainsley Bartholomew
Christiansen.

- Not my name.

- How do you feel?

- I'm feeling a lot
of pain in everywhere.

- Aren't you supposed
to be at work?

- Yeah, but I think
I have to quit.

- Why?

- Lachlan.

Maybe it's just too
difficult, you know?

Us working together.

- Is that you
talking or Lachlan?

That's bullshit.

It is not his decision.

- I can't show up
without the money anyway.

- Okay, look.

Here we go, signed.

That money can be in his
account by this afternoon.

- Do you wanna quit?

[upbeat music]
Doesn't bother

how Lachlan feels.

You need to stroll in there

wearing that bachrach
like a badge of honor.

- I can barely walk.

- [laughs] That's the point.

- Okay, come on, come on.

Get in the shower.

Go, go.

Harry, I'm gonna need a
large coffee and [mumbles].

Get in.

You look like shit, honestly.

Get in.

- Here, here.

- I can't.

- So take it with you.

It's fine.

You've got this, okay?

You can do this.

[narrating] I still had no idea

how to solve my own problems,

but I sure as hell knew
how to solve Ainsley's.

♪ How fickle fate can be

♪ She cries your name
three times again ♪

♪ She cries your name

♪ How long can
this love remain? ♪

- It's all sorted.

- Hold on.
- Just send me your details

and the money will be in
your account this afternoon.

- Ains, just--
- Also, I'm not quitting.

You seemed perfectly
comfortable working with me

while I was your--
whatever I was.

I'm pretty sure you
can deal with this.

- [Heather] [narrating] And
the beauty of Ainsley was

as soon as she steered her
way through one disaster,

she had the next
one in her sights.

[Ainsley laughs]

- Shit.

- Your mother has
sent me a picture,

a pharmacist named Indira.

- This is exactly why
I didn't want her to--

- Just tell me how to reply.
- Don't reply.

- What?

I can't ignore her.
- Yes you can.

I do it all the time.

- Harry, I'm gonna
stop you there.

You're about to become the
first man I've ever lived with

to serve me a meal.

You need to complete
that action.

Thank you.

[narrating] I had no
idea what I'd really done

or if it'd be worth it.

But I did know, in that moment,
the universe was changing.

[playful music]

- I can't live with him.

He's doing nudity strolls.

- Full frontal?

Yes, this does look abnormal.

We can't be sure of anything
until I see the biopsy results.

- Dear Ains,

You're basically perfect.

- Beautiful.

- Is this about
the Ben situation?

- There is no situation.

- We're gonna confront him,
the four of us, tonight.

- I just don't think
tonight's a good time.

[credits music]