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Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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[SILENCE]

[GRUNTING]

♪ EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS

♪ EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS

♪ THEY RULE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ♪

♪ EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS

♪ BOW DOWN

♪ OH, THE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ♪

♪ THEY'RE EVIL BECAUSE OF THEIR PLAN ♪

♪ EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS

♪ THEY'RE ALIENS FROM A STRANGE LAND ♪

♪ EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS WILL CONQUER YOUR VERY SOUL ♪

♪ EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS THEY WANT YOUR HEAD ON A POLE ♪

♪ EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS

♪ EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS

♪ THEY RULE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ♪

♪ EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS

♪ BOW DOWN

♪ OH, THE "E" IS FOR EVIL AND EVIL YOU WILL SEE ♪

♪ "A" IS FOR ALIEN FOR ALIENS THEY BE ♪

♪ THE "C" IS FOR CONQUERORS AND CONQUER YOU THEY SHALL ♪

♪ THE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS WILL NEVER BE YOUR PAL ♪

♪ EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS

♪ EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS

♪ THEY RULE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ♪

♪ EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS

♪ BOW DOWN

YOU WILL GO TO EARTH!

WE SHALL!

YOU WILL DESTROY ALL HUMAN LIFE.

YES!

HERE ARE YOUR SWORDS.

THEY ARE IMBUED WITH KABIJJIAN MAGNIFICENCE.

EVERY HUMAN HEAD SHALL FALL!

YES!

[MUMBLES]

MY-IK, DU-UG, IN 822,000 TILKRONS

WE WILL SEND THE GIANT CROKER!

[WHIMPERING]

[GROWL]

[GRUNTING]

AAH.

IF YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED, YOU'LL RETURN IN GLORY.

IF YOU HAVE FAILED,

YOU WILL RETURN IN CROKER'S POOP!

BY RABIRR'S FLAPPING JOWLS,

WE WILL DOMINATE THE PATHETIC EARTHLINGS.

I AM RABIRR.

- YOU ARE! - YOU ARE!

HA.

OUR LAST CONQUERORS WERE DESTROYED BY THE TRANSPORTER.

IT WORKS BETTER NOW.

POSSIBLY.

ARE YOU READY?

- WE ARE! - WE ARE!

EH, UH.

- ENTHUSE FOR RABIRR! - ENTHUSE FOR RABIRR!

♪ EVIL, EVIL

♪ ALIEN, ALIEN

♪ CONQUERORS, CONQUERORS

♪ THEY RULE

COOL.

[GRUNTING]

WELL, DU-UG, SHALL WE TAKE THIS HIDEOUS PLANET?

MY-IK, OUR SWORDS. WHERE ARE OUR SWORDS?

LOOK OUT!

[TINKLES]

THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM.

OUR VAST SUPERIORITY OVER THE EARTHLINGS

WILL BE THE ONLY ADVANTAGE THAT WE NEED.

BESIDES, WE HAVE 822,000 TILKRONS UNTIL CROKER COMES.

THAT WORKS OUT TO TWO AND A HALF DAYS.

[HONKING]

[MAN] HEY.

HOW'S IT GOING?

YOU GUYS ARE ALIENS, RIGHT?

WE ARE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS FROM THE PLANET KABIJJ,

SEND HERE TO UTTERLY DOMINATE YOUR PLANET

AND ANNIHILATE ALL OF HUMAN LIFE.

RIGHT, RIGHT, 'CAUSE I SAW YOU GUYS,

LIKE, FALL OUT OF THE SKY.

WELL, GOOD LUCK, I GUESS.

HE WILL DIE PAINLESSLY.

YOU WILL DIE PAINLESSLY.

ALL RIGHT.

HA, HA.

WE WILL SPEAK TO THE LEADER OF THIS FRY KINGDOM, DU-UG.

WE WILL COMMAND HIM TO SURRENDER EARTH

AND BRING TO US ALL OF ITS CITIZENS.

OUR TRIUMPH WILL BE QUICK AND ABSOLUTE, MY-IK.

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN MORE CORRECT, DU-UG.

OUR MERE PRESENCE HERE

WILL CAUSE THESE LOWLY BEINGS TO BOW DOWN BEFORE US.

WAIT.

DAMN THE SHRINKAGE.

THE KABIJJIAN MAGNIFICENCE OF OUR MAKEUP KITS HAS BEEN

SO DIMINISHED.

OH, HOW I LONG TO SLATHER MY FACE IN A THICK,

CHUNKY FOUNDATION.

THE QUICKER OUR TRIUMPH, DU-UG,

THE QUICKER WE'LL BE CLOGGING OUR PORES AGAIN.

WE ARE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, EARTHLING!

WE ARE THE END OF THE HUMAN RACE!

[BABY CRYING]

BEHOLD OUR SWORDS!

THEY MAY BE SMALL,

BUT THEY ARE IMBUED WITH KABIJJIAN MAGNIFICENCE.

OKAY, WHY DON'T WE JUST GO OUTSIDE?

SOON YOUR HEADS WILL ALL BE REMOVED!

YOUR PLANET WILL BE UNDER OUR CONTROL!

YOUR HEADS WILL BE UNDER OUR CONTROL!

- ENTHUSE FOR RABIRR! - ENTHUSE FOR RABIRR!

YOU WILL DIE IN AGONY, MR. BREEN.

YOU WILL DIE BEGGING FOR MERCY.

AND WE WILL GLADLY PROVIDE IT.

I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU TWO IN HERE AGAIN.

PERHAPS THE TAKEOVER OF EARTH WILL NOT BE AS EASY

AS WE ANTICIPATED, MY-IK.

AS THE GREAT RABIRR HIMSELF NOTED, DU-UG,

THE FUTURE ALWAYS DANGLES JUST BEFORE US LIKE A LIMA

BEFORE THE HUNGRY CROWDIT'S ANUS.

WE WILL KEEP SEARCHING

FOR THE LEADER OF THIS PLANET, DU-UG,

FOR SURELY IT CANNOT BE THIS MR. BREEN.

SO HOW'D IT GO, GUYS?

SPLENDIDLY.

SO, I WAS WONDERING, LIKE, DO YOU HAVE,

LIKE A PLAN OR SOMETHING?

OUR PLAN IS, NUMBER ONE, COME TO PLANET EARTH.

THAT PART HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED.

NUMBER TWO, DOMINATE THE PLANET AND ANNIHILATE ALL HUMAN LIFE.

RIGHT, RIGHT. THAT PART.

BUT DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, A PLAN PLAN, LIKE,

HOW TO DO IT?

BY RABIRR'S FLABBY BUTTOCKS, YOU ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS.

OH, HEY, MAN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO DEFENSIVE.

I'M NOT AGAINST YOU GUYS.

YOU HAVE A PLACE TO STAY?

WE NEED NO PLACE TO STAY.

WE ARE SUPERIOR BEINGS.

RIGHT, RIGHT.

NO, I JUST THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, THE WIND MIGHT PICK UP.

AND PLUS, YOU GUYS HANG AROUND HERE TOO LONG,

MR. BREEN WILL DEFINITELY CALL THE COPS.

MR. BREEN WILL BE ONE OF THE FIRST TO BE BEHEADED.

YEAH. HE'S A DICK.

I'VE BEEN WORKING AT THAT PLACE FOR LIKE A YEAR NOW

AND HE HASN'T GIVEN ME A RAISE ONCE.

IN FACT, HE'S, LIKE, LOWERED MY SALARY LIKE THREE TIMES.

UNACCEPTABLE!

I KNOW, RIGHT?

BUT, UH, I GOT NOTHING ELSE GOING ON RIGHT NOW.

SORT OF HAD TO EAT A SLICE OF THE OLD TURD PIE.

TURD PIE?

MY APPETITE STIRS.

SO YOU'RE, LIKE, REAL ALIENS, HUH?

WE ARE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS.

THAT'S COOL.

WELL, I'D JUST WATCH OUT FOR THAT WIND,

BECAUSE WHEN IT BLOWS, MAN, SOMETIMES THE CATS BARF.

CAT BARF.

NOW MY APPETITE STIRS.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, UH, I'M GONNA TAKE OFF,

SO LAST CALL IF YOU WANT A RIDE.

[WIND BLOWING]

WE NEED NO RIDE!

OKAY, HERE WE ARE.

SO, GUYS, JUST MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME.

GET THIS OUT OF YOUR WAY.

HAVE A SEAT.

THE OLD HOMESTEAD.

YOU WANT A SMIRNOFF ICE?

SMIRNOFF ICE?

OH, YOU GUYS ARE GONNA LIKE THIS.

YOUR ABODE IS AN ABOMINATION.

WHEW, YOU DON'T GOT VERY GOOD MANNERS, DO YOU?

YEAH, I KNOW.

SO HERE YOU GO, GUYS.

- ENTHUSE FOR RABIRR! - ENTHUSE FOR RABIRR!

[CLINK]

SO WHO IS THIS RABIRR DUDE, ANYWAY?

RABIRR IS THE LEADER OF OUR NOBLE HOME PLANET.

HE IS VERY GREAT.

I WILL NOW BRIEFLY RHAPSODIZE ON HIS GREATNESS

AND THE GLORY OF OUR HOME PLANET FOR YOU.

OH, THAT'S OKAY.

♪ O RABIRR, O RABIRR

♪ GREAT IS YOUR SHAPE AND YOUR FORM ♪

♪ O RABIRR, GREAT RABIRR

♪ YOU HAVE A GIANT, FAT BUTT ♪

♪ O RABIRR, GREAT RABIRR

♪ YOU WEAR LADIES' UNDERWEAR

[GRUNTING]

OH, BATHROOM IS OVER THERE DU-UG.

AH.

♪ FAT ASS, FAT ASS

♪ FROM YOUR MIGHTY ROCK-STREWN DESERTS ♪

♪ TO YOUR STINKING, BILIOUS SWAMPS ♪

♪ FROM YOUR MASSIVE, SLUDGY, SLIME PITS TO YOUR MASSIVE GASSY HALLS ♪

♪ OH, HOW WE LOVE YOU, KABIJJ

I HAVE PERFORMED THE CEREMONIAL HEAD DUNK, MY-IK.

WELL DONE, DU-UG.

NOW I WILL DO THE SAME.

HAVE YOU ANY MORE SMIRNOFF ICE, KENNY?

OH, YEAH.

AHH.

NUDIES!

[BEDSPRINGS SQUEAKING]

[MAN] OH, YEAH!

OH, BABY, YEAH!

UH, YEAH!

YEAH!

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

GET READY TO ROCK AND ROLL, BABY.

GET READY TO ROCK AND ROLL!

YEAH.

YEAH!

ROCK AND ROLL!

HEY, UH, THAT'S MY ROOMMATE RON.

HE GETS LAID A LOT, OKAY?

JUST BE COOL. MY-IK, BE COOL.

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? KENNY!

OH, UH, YEAH, THESE ARE MY NEW FRIENDS, RON, UH,

MY-IK AND DU-UG.

THEY'RE NEW IN TOWN.

YOU KNOW THIS GUY KENNY'S A TOTAL LOSER, RIGHT?

- [KENNY] SHUT UP, RON. - JUST JOKING, KENNETH.

- YOU WILL DIE IN AGONY, RON. - WHAT?

WE ARE NOT NEW IN TOWN.

WE ARE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS FROM THE PLANET KABIJJ

SENT HERE TO UTTERLY DOMINATE YOUR PLANET.

BEHOLD THE KABIJJIAN MAGNIFICENCE!

OH, MAN.

KENNY, I'M TIRED OF YOU BRINGING YOUR LOSER FRIENDS

AROUND HERE, MAN.

THIS ISN'T A SHELTER FOR THEM, YOU KNOW?

LISTEN, RON, I PAY SOME OF THE RENT HERE TOO,

AND I GOT SOME RIGHTS.

YOU'RE A ZERO, KEN.

YOU WERE A ZERO IN HIGH SCHOOL,

A ZERO AT JACK IN THE BOX.

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A ZERO.

YOU'RE THE ZERO, RON.

NO, KENNY, I'M A TEN.

HEE, AT WHAT?

TEN.

THIS ONE WILL DIE BEGGING FOR MERCY, DU-UG.

AND WE WILL GLADLY PROVIDE IT.

LISTEN, LOSERS,

WHEN I'M MAKING LOVE TO A WOMAN,

WHICH I HAPPEN TO DO A LOT, BECAUSE I'M A VERY GOOD LOVER.

IN FACT, I'M THE KIND OF GUY

WHO GETS THREESOMES SOMETIMES, OKAY.

THAT'S FOUR BOOBS, FOUR BUTT CHEEKS, AND ME.

ME. NOT YOU GUYS, SO STAY OUTTA MY WAY.

AND DON'T TOUCH MY SUN CHIPS OR CRYSTAL GEYSERS.

THIS ONE WILL DIE IN AGONY, DU-UG.

HE WILL.

SUN CHIPS AND CRYSTAL GEYSERS, BABY.

RON MAKES INFOMERCIALS, BUT HE'S GOOD WITH THE RENT.

[BEDSPRINGS SQUEAKING]

[RON] OH, YEAH!

BABY, YEAH!

LOCK AND LOAD, BABY.

LOCK AND LOAD!

GET READY FOR RON, BABY!

YEAH, YEAH!

GO, RON, GO!

GO, RON, GO!

GO, RON, GO-OH!

[SQUEAKING STOPS]

WELL, YOU GUYS CAN SLEEP OUT HERE IF YOU WANT.

- MY-IK? - YES, DU-UG?

DO YOU LIKE SMIRNOFF ICE?

- NO. - I DON'T EITHER.

I WONDER IF THERE'S ANY MORE LEFT IN THE REFRIGERATOR.

DU-UG?

YES, MY-IK?

I SAW SOMETHING UNSPEAKABLY HORRID IN THE BATHROOM.

NUDIES.

THEY TAKE THEIR CLOTHES OFF HERE, DU-UG.

MONSTROUS!

IN KABIJJ, WE NEVER UNDRESS!

AND WE NEVER SHALL.

- ENTHUSE FOR RABIRR! - ENTHUSE FOR RABIRR!

WELL, TOMORROW WE BEGIN TO DOMINATE THIS HIDEOUS PLANET.

AND SOON, VERY SOON,

WE WILL ONCE AGAIN BE FLOATING

FACEDOWN IN THE RANCID MUCKHOLE AT GROANCUS.

OH, HOW I LONG FOR IT!

HOW I LONG FOR FULL MAKEUP.

WE ARE DOING WELL, MY-IK?

VERY WELL.

NUDIES.

NUDIES!

NUDIES.

NUDIES.

NUDIES.

NUDIES!

NUDIES!

HOW'S IT GOING, MY-IK?

FINE!

I HAD NO DREAM!

SO, MY-IK, DOUG AND I WERE TRYING

TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT HERE.

OKAY.

THERE'S, LIKE, SIX BILLION PEOPLE ON EARTH.

SIX BILLION TIMES THE PLEASURE.

WELL, YEAH, BUT WHAT I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IS,

LIKE, THERE'S JUST THE TWO OF YOU, RIGHT,

AND YOU HAVE 822,000 TILKRONS,

WHICH DU-UG SAID WORKS OUT TO LIKE TWO DAYS.

MORE THAN ENOUGH.

OKAY, SO THAT'S LIKE THREE BILLION PEOPLE A DAY.

AND LET'S SAY YOU DO 12-HOUR DAYS, NO BREAKS.

THAT'S LIKE 250 MILLION AN HOUR.

FOUR MILLION A MINUTE.

70,000 A SECOND.

THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM.

NOT TO MENTION, LIKE, SOME PEOPLE MIGHT NOT,

LIKE, LINE UP TO BE BEHEADED.

ALTHOUGH SOME PEOPLE PROBABLY WOULD, SURE.

BUT SOME PEOPLE MIGHT, LIKE, YOU KNOW, HIDE OR SOMETHING.

- NOT A PROBLEM. - NO?

- NO. - OKAY, SO...

YOU GUYS MUST BE REALLY GOOD AT THIS, RIGHT?

THAT IS CORRECT.

I MEAN, YOU'VE PROBABLY DONE THIS, LIKE,

ON A BUNCH OF OTHER PLANETS, RIGHT?

BY RABIRR'S FLACCID MICRO-PHALLUS,

WHAT ARE YOU DRIVING AT, EARTHLING?

HAVE YOU ANY MORE SMIRNOFF ICE, KENNY?

OH, YEAH, I THINK THERE'S HALF OF ONE LEFT IN THE FRIDGE.

YOU WILL DIE PAINLESSLY.

- THANKS. - NO, I'M JUST SAYING,

YOU KNOW, A] YOU HAVE NO WEAPONS--

WE HAVE OUR SWORDS.

[DU-UG] THEY'RE IMBUED WITH KABIJJIAN MAGNIFICENCE!

YEAH, UH, AND THEY'D BE REALLY GOOD FOR, LIKE,

SPEARING OLIVES WITH,

BUT MAYBE NOT FOR BEHEADING THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE.

AND B] YOU HAVE NO EXPERIENCE.

WHEN WE ARE FINISHED HERE WE WILL HAVE EXPERIENCE.

EXPERIENCE.

WELL, YEAH, BUT I'M THINKING I DON'T START WORK TILL 6:00,

AND I'VE GOT A PRETTY GOOD IDEA.

YOU GUYS GONNA BE DOING SOME WORK ON THE HOUSE?

OH, NO, THEY'RE HERE TO BEHEAD EVERY HUMAN BEING ON THE PLANET.

THEY'RE THE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS.

GOTCHA.

SO THEY'RE GONNA WANT SOMETHING WITH SOME REAL POWER THEN.

OH, DEFINITELY.

THIS BABY HERE CAN REALLY--

HE'S GOTTA BE MORE CAREFUL.

OH, HE'S ALL RIGHT.

HE'S HAD LIKE TEN SMIRNOFF ICES.

BUT NO, HE'S ALL RIGHT.

NO, BUT THEY REALLY ARE THE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS.

I SAW THEM FALL OUT OF THE SKY LAST NIGHT,

AND IT WAS LIKE INDEPENDENCE DAY,

EXCEPT THEY DON'T HAVE BIG SHIPS,

AND THERE'S ONLY, LIKE, TWO OF THEM.

AND THEY DON'T REALLY HAVE

ANY SPECIAL ABILITIES OR WEAPONS OR ANYTHING,

BUT THEY ARE COMPLETELY SUPERIOR BEINGS.

OF COURSE, IF THEY DO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THEIR MISSION

THEN I'LL GET BEHEADED TOO,

BUT I DON'T REALLY THINK I WILL.

BUT IF I DO, I GET, LIKE, THIS HUGE SPIKE FOR MY HEAD,

LIKE, EXTRA, EXTRA TALL.

THEY TOLD ME.

BUT I'M THINKING, LIKE, OBI WAN KENOBI,

YOU KNOW, LIKE, OBI WAN,

BECAUSE HE DIES AND THEN HE BECOMES

EVEN MORE POWERFUL, LIKE A GHOST OR SOMETHING.

ANYWAY, IF THEY DON'T, THEN THIS GUY CROKER WILL COME,

AND CROKER IS, LIKE, TOTAL MALIGNANT DESTRUCTION.

LIKE, A 100 FOOT TALL.

HOW ARE YOU GUYS PAYING FOR ALL THIS?

OKAY, SEE, YOU GOTTA MAKE MONEY

IN ORDER TO BUY THOSE THINGS,

AND THIS IS THE QUICKEST WAY TO DO IT.

- GRR! - GOOD LUCK!

SEE YOU BACK HERE AT 3:00.

YOU BOYS LOOKING FOR WORK?

YES.

HOP IN THE BACK.

[MY-IK] WE ARE NOT BOYS.

WHAT?

WE ARE NOT BOYS.

WE ARE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS.

WHAT?

WE ARE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS.

HOLD ON.

[LAWN MOWER WHIRRING]

YOU WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK, DU-UG?

YOU WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK?

UH, HAVE YOU ANY SMIRNOFF ICE?

SURE, I HAVE SMIRNOFF ICE.

COME ON OVER.

AREN'T YOU HOT IN THAT HEAVY MAUVE JUMPSUIT, DU-UG?

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT OFF AND COOL DOWN FOR A BIT?

YOU CERTAINLY ARE GOOD WITH A WEED WHACKER,

AREN'T YOU, DU-UG?

OR ARE YOU JUST GOOD WITH ALL YOUR WEED-WHACKING TOOLS?

MY-IK?

COME ON, MY-IK, YOU WANNA JOIN US?

DON'T BE SCARED.

THERE'S KENNY.

DU-UG, THIS IS OUR MISSION.

NUMBER ONE, COME TO PLANET EARTH.

NUMBER TWO, ANNIHILATE ALL HUMAN LIFE.

THERE IS NO NUMBER THREE, DEVELOP A DRINKING PROBLEM,

NUMBER FOUR, FALL IN LOVE WITH A DIVORCED HUSSY.

SHE WAS BEWITCHING ME, MY-IK.

[DIVORCEE] BYE, DU-UG.

DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU, DU-UG.

THANK YOU, MY-IK.

HEY, GUYS.

- HOW'D IT GO? - WE ARE RICH.

ALL RIGHT! HEY, I GOT GOOD NEWS.

TURNS OUT POPULATION OF THE WORLD IS ONLY 5.8 BILLION.

IT'S LIKE 65,000 A SECOND.

65,000 TIMES THE PLEASURE.

SO I WAS THINKING WHILE YOU WERE GONE

THAT MAYBE WE WANT TO MAINTAIN YOUR COVER.

WHICH IS GREAT ADVANTAGE.

RIGHT, RIGHT, BECAUSE IT WOULD BE REALLY BAD

TO START BEHEADING PEOPLE

UNTIL YOU REALLY GOT STARTED, YOU KNOW?

YOU DON'T WANT TO BEHEAD ONE PERSON AND GO TO JAIL.

THANK YOU.

HERE.

BUT YOU DO NEED PRACTICE, RIGHT?

SO I WAS THINKING...

OKAY HERE WE ARE.

WHAT IS THIS MONSTROUS CREATURE?

THE COW.

YOU CAN PRACTICE ON HIM

THEN WE'LL TAKE IT AND MAKE STEAKS.

AND TAKE HIS EGGS, ALSO.

NO, THAT'S CHICKENS, DU-UG.

GREETINGS, COW.

I AM MY-IK. THIS IS DU-UG.

WE ARE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS FROM THE PLANET KABIJJ.

PREPARE TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE, COW,

SO THAT WE MAY PRACTICE BEHEADING.

PLEASE, COW.

WE ARE SUPERIOR BEINGS, COW!

PLEASE, COW.

- COW? - UH, PLEASE, COW.

- COW! - WE IMPLORE YOU, COW!

STOP, COW!

I BEG OF YOU, COW.

NO! I COMMAND YOU!

- COW! - COW, WE BEG OF YOU.

NO, COW! STOP, COW!

NOW YOU WILL DIE IN AGONY!

COW! COW! COW!

- COW! - STOP, COW!

LITTLE DEMON!

STOP RUNNING SO FAST, COW!

[MOOING]

PAY, COW!

NOW...COW...PAY!

[WHIMPERING]

PLEASE, COW.

I DEFINITELY HAVE ENOUGH GAS.

YOU WANT SOME PRETZELS?

NOW WE WILL SEE WHO POSSESSES

THE GREATER INTELLIGENCE, EH, COW?

YOU WILL SIZZLE

IN OUR FRYING PAN TONIGHT, DEMON!

[MOOING]

STOP, COW! PLEASE, COW!

OH, COW!

WE'RE SORRY, COW.

NO, COW!

AAH!

THEY SURE DON'T SEEM LIKE SUPERIOR BEINGS.

I THOUGHT I HAD MORE GAS THAN THAT.

ARE YOU SURE YOU GUYS ARE ALL RIGHT?

WE ARE FINE.

OKAY, 'CAUSE THAT WOULD'VE HURT MOST HUMANS,

BUT I GUESS 'CAUSE YOU GUYS ARE SO SUPERIOR--

- WE ARE SUPERIOR BEINGS. - RIGHT.

WE WILL DOMINATE YOUR PLANET.

OH, TOTALLY.

BUT, YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT WOULDN'T BE A BAD IDEA

TO COME UP WITH, LIKE, A DIFFERENT PLAN.

THAT COW WILL PAY!

OH, HE WILL, HE WILL, BUT I WAS THINKING, LIKE,

YOU PROBABLY WON'T BE

ABLE TO BEHEAD 5.8 BILLION PEOPLE.

I'D ACTUALLY BE SURPRISED IF YOU GOT LIKE 5.8 OF THEM,

TO BE HONEST, BUT, FELLAS, THERE'S GOTTA BE ANOTHER WAY.

PERHAPS WE COULD BURY ALL THE HUMANS ALIVE

AND THEN WEED-WHACK THEIR HEADS OFF.

THERE YOU GO, ALTHOUGH, ACTUALLY,

THAT WOULD BE KIND OF TRICKY, TOO.

I HAVE IT. WE'LL BUILD A HUGE MAGNET

AND MAGNETICALLY PULL OFF ALL HUMAN HEADS!

BRILLIANT, MY-IK.

IT IS BRILLIANT EXCEPT FOR ONE THING--

HUMAN HEADS AREN'T METAL,

SO, LIKE, MAGNETS CAN'T REALLY PULL THEM OFF.

[WOMAN] NICE PAJAMAS, ASSHOLES!

WE WILL BEHEAD YOU!

WHAT IS THIS APPALLING MUSIC, KENNY?

OH, IT'S SUPERTRAMP, DU-UG.

THEY USED TO BE REALLY BIG.

MONSTROUS! WHAT IS THIS SONG CALLED?

THE LOGICAL SONG.

"IT IS HORRID!" YET ODDLY ENJOYABLE.

YEAH, MOST HUMANS USED TO REALLY DIG 'EM.

SOON THEY WILL BE DIGGING ONLY GRAVES FOR THEIR OWN HEADS!

EXPLAIN TO ME AGAIN

WHY THE WHOLE MAGNET THING WON'T WORK, KENNY.

OH, WELL, YOU SEE, MIKE, MAGNETS ATTRACT METAL.

YES.

AND HUMAN HEADS AREN'T METAL.

THEY COULD BE MADE METAL!

INSPIRATION, DU-UG!

THAT WOULD TAKE A LOT OF WORK, GUYS, SERIOUSLY.

WELL, ACTUALLY, THERE ARE DUDES

WHO HAVE METAL PLATES IN THEIR HEADS.

- AHA! - AND YOU COULD, LIKE,

MAGNETICALLY PULL THEIR HEADS OFF, MAYBE.

VICTORY, MY-IK!

BUT THEY'RE ALL OLD, PRETTY MUCH,

AND YOU MIGHT END UP JUST, LIKE, PULLING THE METAL PLATE OUT

AND NOT THE ENTIRE HEAD.

PLUS, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT,

IT WOULDN'T NECESSARILY BE THAT EASY

TO FLY GIANT MAGNETS OVER THE ENTIRE EARTH.

IT WOULD BE EASY FOR US.

ANOTHER TERRIBLE SONG!

BY RABIRR'S WAX-FILLED EARS,

IF WE DO NOT FIGURE THIS OUT QUICKLY,

CROKER WILL COME AND DESTROY US, KENNY.

NOW CROKER, IS HE, LIKE, REALLY BAD?

BAD?

BAD?

CROKER WILL MAKE YOU WISH YOU HAD NEVER LIVED.

OH, WELL, I WISH THAT SOMETIMES ANYWAY.

THEN HE WILL MAKE YOU WISH YOU HAD LIVED,

WHICH YOU HAVE, NO THANKS TO HIM.

HUH.

PERHAPS WE COULD GET THAT COW TO RUN US BACK INTO TOWN.

SO, UH, I'LL MEET YOU GUYS BACK HERE AT MIDNIGHT.

YOU CAN GET YOUR STUFF CLEANED IN THERE,

AND THERE'S A MINI-MART ACROSS THE STREET IF YOU GET HUNGRY.

DO THEY HAVE SMIRNOFF ICE?

OH, DEFINITELY.

MY-IK, I GOTTA GO.

ARE YOU STILL UPSET

ABOUT THAT WHOLE MAGNET-HEAD THING?

NO.

WHAT IS IT, DU-UG?

BY RABIRR'S SOILED BIG-BOY PANTS, MY-IK,

I HAVE FOUND LOVE.

BUT OUR MISSION, DU-UG.

OUR--GREAT RAGING BELKRONS!

HOW DOES MY MAKEUP LOOK?

INSUFFICIENT, BUT TASTEFUL. MINE?

INSUFFICIENT, BUT TASTEFUL.

MAY WE HELP YOU GENTLEMEN?

MY-IK, WE CANNOT TELL

THESE GODDESSES WHAT WE REALLY ARE.

WE CANNOT TELL THEM THAT OUR JOB IS TO BEHEAD THEM.

I AM MY-IK.

AND I AM DU-UG.

WE COME FROM THE LAND... CABBAGE LAND.

AND WE ARE HERE IN PALMDALE ON A MISSION.

AND NOW...FUNNILY ENOUGH,

OUR JUMPSUITS HAVE GOTTEN DIRTY.

WELL, MY-IK AND DU-UG,

I'M PENNY AND THIS IS MY SISTER JAN,

AND IF YOU'D LIKE TO LEAVE THOSE JUMPSUITS,

I'M SURE WE COULD CLEAN THEM UP FOR YOU.

YES.

WE WOULD LIKE TO LEAVE THEM BUT THE ONLY PROBLEM IS...

YOU SEE--

WE ARE NUDIES UNDERNEATH.

AND WE ARE NOT PERMITTED TO BE NUDIES.

DU-UG, I FEEL SO SEXY.

I FEEL IMPOSSIBLY SEXY.

- SEXY. - SEXY.

THEY SHOULD BE READY IN ABOUT AN HOUR.

AN HOUR, RIGHT.

WELL, YES.

YOU HAVE SUCH STUNNINGLY HAIRY FEET!

EXCUSE ME?

UH, YOU SEE, WHAT MY FRIEND IS TRYING TO SAY

IS THAT IN KABIJJ, THAT IS CABBAGE LAND,

STUNNINGLY HAIRY FEET AND UNIBROWS--

WE ADORE UNIBROWS.

ARE SIGNS OF GREAT FEMININITY.

OH.

YOU CAN SIT AND WAIT OVER THERE IF YOU'D LIKE.

GODDESSES, RABIRR HIMSELF WOULD PLUCK YOUR FEET!

- MY-IK. - UNIBROWS!

OUR MISSION, MY-IK.

TO HELL WITH OUR MISSION, DU-UG.

DARE YOU FACE THE WRATH OF CROKER?

YOU'RE RIGHT, DU-UG.

FORGIVE ME.

DO NOT PUT ME IN THE POSITION OF HAVING TO KILL YOU, MY-IK.

I UNDERSTAND, DU-UG.

DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU, EITHER.

WELL, DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU.

DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU.

DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU.

- DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU. - DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU.

- DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU. - DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU.

DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU.

- DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU. - DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU!

- DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU! - DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU!

OKAY.

WE CANNOT ROMANCE THESE BEAUTIES, MY-IK.

NO, WE CANNOT. WE MUST COMPLETE OUR MISSION.

YES, MY-IK,

WE MUST BREAK THINGS OFF WITH THEM REGARDLESS

OF THEIR STUNNINGLY HAIRY FEET.

WE WILL END THIS.

SO, WE ARE DECIDED, THEN?

YES, WE ARE DECIDED.

PENNY, JAN, WE HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU.

WE FEEL THAT IT IS IMPORTANT

THAT WE INVITE YOU OUT FOR THE EVENING!

SMIRNOFF ICE?

SO HOW LONG HAVE YOU LIVED IN PALMDALE, PENNY?

ABOUT TEN YEARS, DU-UG.

AND YOU LIKE IT HERE?

OH, YES. VERY MUCH.

SO THEN, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'D BE IN FAVOR

OF EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS COMING AND DESTROYING ALL HUMAN LIFE.

NO, I WOULDN'T.

WHY DO YOU ASK?

UH, NO REASON.

DO YOU LIKE THE SUPERTRAMP, JAN?

I LIKE GLORIA ESTEFAN AND MIAMI SOUND MACHINE.

DO YOU LIKE THEM?

NO, THE SUPERTRAMP IS HORRIBLE, AND YET I ENJOY THEM.

DO YOU LIKE SUN CHIPS?

I LIKE PITA BREAD SANDWICHES WITH TURMERIC RICE ON THE SIDE.

I ALSO ENJOY FLAN AND MUD PIES.

- DO YOU LIKE MUD PIES? - NO.

DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE?

NO.

THE SUPERTRAMP--WELL, DO YOU KNOW THE COW, JAN?

HE'S AN INSOLENT BASTARD.

I FEEL I KNOW YOU, PENNY.

YES, DU-UG.

MAY I--MAY I FONDLE YOUR FEET?

YES.

OH, PENNY.

MAY I...PLUCK ONE?

- YES. - OH!

MAY I FLOSS WITH IT?

YES.

MAY I CREATE HUMOR WITH IT?

YES!

I'M A UNICORN!

I'M A UNICORN! I'M A UNICORN!

I'M A UNICORN!

YOU'RE FUNNY, DU-UG.

OH, PENNY, LITTLE DID I THINK

THAT I WOULD MEET SOMEONE I FELT SO RIGHT

WITH HERE IN PALMDALE.

IF ONLY MY MISSION.

FORGET YOUR MISSION, DU-UG.

I CANNOT. I CANNOT.

MAY I STROKE IT?

YES.

MAY I GENTLY TUG UPON IT?

YES.

MAY I GENERATE AN ELECTRIC SHOCK WITH IT?

YES.

MAY I CREATE A SONG ABOUT IT?

OH, YES, OF COURSE.

UNIBROW, UNIBROW

♪ LOVELY, LOVELY UNIBROW

♪ UNIBROW, UNIBROW

♪ SPLENDIDLY HAIRY FEET

OH!

MY-IK, THAT WAS WONDERFUL.

WELL, THANK YOU.

OH, I AM SO CONFLICTED!

WHY IS THAT?

I CAN'T TELL YOU.

WE MUST GO.

KENNY WILL BE WAITING FOR US.

WILL WE SEE YOU AGAIN?

WE'LL COME BACK TO YOUR STORE TOMORROW.

GOOD NIGHT, GODDESSES.

YOU GET MY MOUSTACHE.

THAT WAS VERY FUNNY, DU-UG.

THANK YOU, MY-IK.

DID THEY KNOW WHO WE ARE?

NO.

WILL WE HAVE TO KILL THEM?

POSSIBLY.

PROBABLY.

[KENNY] SO, YOU'RE GONNA BEHEAD EVERYONE ELSE

AND THEN TAKE PENNY AND JAN BACK

TO KABIJJ WITH YOU, IS THAT IT?

THIS IS OUR PLAN.

AND I GUESS YOU'RE STILL GONNA BEHEAD ME, THOUGH, RIGHT?

THERE'S ONLY SO MANY EXCEPTIONS WE CAN MAKE, KENNY.

FINE, WHATEVER.

YOU WILL DIE PAINLESSLY, KENNY.

OH, GREAT. GEE, THANKS A LOT.

CROKER WILL MAKE US ENDURE SPECTACULAR AGONY IF WE DO NOT.

LOOK, I UNDERSTAND.

I UNDERSTAND YOU GOT A MISSION

AND THE ONLY THING THAT TRUMPS THAT IS LOVE.

THEREFORE, MY HEAD ENDS UP ON A SPIKE.

A TALL, PROMINENT SPIKE.

OH, FINE.

- WHO'S GONNA SEE IT? - EMPEROR RABIRR!

OH, EMPEROR-- I DON'T EVEN KNOW

WHO EMPEROR RABIRR IS.

WHAT DO I CARE?

HE SOUNDS LIKE A BIG BAG TO ME ANYWAY.

BLASPHEMER!

OH, CALM DOWN.

[BED SQUEAKING]

[RON] OH, YEAH.

OH, YEAH.

BABY, YEAH. YEAH.

YEAH. LOCK AND LOAD, BABY.

LOCK AND LOAD!

GET READY FOR RON, BABY.

GO, RON, GO!

GO, RON, GO!

GO, RON, GO-OH!

RON!

WELL, WELL, WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE EVIL ALIEN VIRGINS.

YOU WILL DIE IN AGONY, RON.

YEAH, THE ONLY THING

YOU GUYS ARE GONNA CONQUER ARE YOUR SLIM JIMS.

THAT IS AN OUTRAGEOUS LIE!

LISTEN, LOSERS.

I'M ALL ABOUT MAKING LOVE TO WOMEN, OKAY?

WE KNOW THAT, RON.

SHUT UP, KEN-ASS.

THE LAST THING I NEED THE NEXT TIME

I GET A THREESOME GOING,

WHICH I WILL SOON IS YOU LOSERS SCREWING IT UP FOR ME,

SO JUST STAY OUTTA MY WAY,

AND DON'T TOUCH MY SUN CHIPS OR CRYSTAL GEYSERS.

SUN CHIPS AND CRYSTAL GEYSERS INBOUND, BABY.

RONNIE'S BACK.

[BEDSPRINGS SQUEAKING]

MAYBE WE COULD JUST HIDE FROM CROKER.

YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM CROKER, DU-UG.

- YOU KNOW THAT. - WELL, WHY NOT?

WE COULD PUT ON DISGUISES.

WE COULD DISGUISE OURSELVES AS LARGE BIRDS

AND SIT IN A TREE SQUAWKING UNTIL HE LEFT.

OR WE COULD PRETEND TO BE CHAIRS,

UPHOLSTER OURSELVES,

SO THAT CROKER MIGHT SIT IN US

AND NEVER EVEN REALIZE HE IS SITTING IN US.

AND THEN HE MIGHT THINK TO HIMSELF,

"WHY CROKER, UH, WHY ME,"

HIM BEING CROKER, "I CANNOT FIND THEM.

I WILL STOP FOR SOME SMIRNOFF ICE,

THAT BEING THE BEST BEVERAGE HERE ON EARTH,

- AND THEN RETURN HOME." - DU-UG.

AND WE COULD LIVE OUT OUR LIVES HERE WITH PENNY AND JAN.

I HAVE HAD AN EPIPHANY, DU-UG.

WHAT IS IT, MY-IK?

WE CANNOT TAKE THIS PLANET BY FORCE, JUST THE TWO OF US.

WE COULDN'T EVEN CATCH THAT COW.

THAT COW WILL PAY DEARLY FOR HIS INSOLENCE,

BUT NEVER MIND HIM NOW.

WE HAVE BIGGER FODITS TO FESTER.

WHAT WE CANNOT DO PHYSICALLY WE CAN DO MENTALLY.

WE WILL COMMAND THE HUMANS' PUNY MINDS

AND COMMAND THEM TO BEHEAD THEMSELVES.

OH, OH, BRILLIANT, MY-IK.

PERHAPS OUR SWORDS SHRANK ON THE WAY HERE,

BUT OUR BRAINS DID NOT.

THE TIDE IS TURNING, ISN'T IT, MY-IK?

OH, YES.

BY THIS TIME TOMORROW NIGHT WE WILL BE WELL ON OUR WAY

TO DOMINATING THIS HIDEOUS PLANET.

KENNY, KENNY!

KENNY, KENNY!

- WHAT? - WE HAVE A NEW PLAN!

OH, COOL.

DO I STILL GET BEHEADED?

YES, IT IS NECESSARY.

PFFT...WHATEVER.

WE WILL SOAR ABOVE THE EARTH LIKE AVENGING ANGELS,

KENNY, COMMANDING THE EARTHLINGS.

ALL FOR RABIRR!

YOU'RE SPITTING FOOD.

SORRY.

CEREAL WITH SMIRNOFF ICE IS AN APPALLING

YET STRANGELY COMPELLING COMBINATION.

YOU KNOW, IT SOUNDS REALLY GOOD, MY-IK,

BUT I HAVE ONE QUESTION.

HOW ARE YOU GONNA FLY ALL OVER THE EARTH?

NOT A PROBLEM.

OKAY, YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT--

NOT A PROBLEM.

- OKAY. - NOT A PROBLEM.

- WHATEVER. - NOPE.

- NOT A PROBLEM. - NO, I--

- NO! - FINE.

- NO. - OKAY.

NOT A PROBLEM.

UH-HUH. WELL, YEAH.

I WAS WONDERING HOW MUCH IT WOULD COST TO, LIKE,

RENT ONE OF YOUR JETS TO CIRCLE THE GLOBE AT LOW ALTITUDE,

GOING REALLY SLOW?

UH-HUH.

I DON'T KNOW, LIKE, TEN FEET UP?

YEAH, TODAY, RIGHT.

UH, CAN YOU HOLD ON A SEC?

WHAT?

[WHISPERS]

OKAY.

THEY SAY THEY WON'T PAY YOU ANYTHING.

IN FACT, THEY, UH,

THEY COMMAND YOU TO GIVE THEM--

YOU KNOW WHAT? HOLD ON.

THIS IS MY-IK, EVIL ALIEN CONQUEROR FROM--

EVIL ALIEN CONQUEROR FROM THE PLANET KABIJJ.

AND I ORDER YOU TO PLACE

YOUR PATHETIC AIRCRAFT AT OUR IMMEDIATE DISPOSAL.

MM-HMM.

MM-HMM.

YOU WILL DIE IN AGONY!

YOU WILL DIE BEGGING FOR MERCY!

AND WE WILL GLADLY PROVIDE IT.

THIS IS JUST A TASTE OF WHAT YOU MAY EXPECT.

OKAY, OKAY.

DON'T BREAK MY PHONE.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS.

I'VE HAD THIS ONE IDEA IN MY BACK POCKET

AND I DON'T KNOW IF IT'LL WORK, BUT WE'RE GONNA TRY IT.

HA, HA.

I WAS SAVING THIS FOR FOURTH OF JULY,

BUT THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT, RIGHT?

YOU WILL DIE PAINLESSLY, KENNY.

COOL.

OKAY, I'M GONNA LIGHT THIS, AND THEN,

I DON'T KNOW, I THINK YOU SHOULD GO UP.

RRGH! GOOD LUCK!

HMM.

YOU RULE!

- TRIUMPH! TRIUMPH! - WHOA!

THAT WAS AWESOME!

HEY! THAT WAS AWESOME!

- TRIUMPH! - TRIUMPH!

DID I CIRCLE THE GLOBE?

NOT QUITE.

I GOT A BETTER IDEA.

TRIUMPH!

OKAY, THIS DEFINITELY OUGHT TO WORK.

WE WILL EXTERMINATE YOU!

BOW DOWN BEFORE US, HUMANS.

I THOUGHT THAT STUFF WOULD'VE WORE OFF BY NOW.

OKAY?

WOW, YOU GUYS ARE LIGHT.

WE ARE 82% GAS.

OH, COOL!

WE WILL RULE!

BOW DOWN, HUMANS!

YEAH!

YEAH!

YEAH!

OH-OH.

WE WILL DOMINATE YOU!

WATCH OUT FOR THE POWER LINES.

[BALLOONS POPPING]

THAT WAS INCREDIBLE.

YOU GUYS OKAY?

WE ARE SUPERIOR BEINGS.

OF COURSE YOU ARE.

WELL, I'LL GO GET SOME LUNCH.

YOU GUYS ARE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS, RIGHT?

THAT IS CORRECT.

WHAT, ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE TOUGH OR SOMETHING?

WE ARE SUPERIOR BEINGS.

OH, YEAH, COME ON, SUPERIOR BEING, COME ON.

YOUR DEATH WILL BE A LITANY OF DESPAIR.

YOUR DEATH WILL BE A LITANY OF DESPAIR.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, EVIL ALIEN CONQUEROR?

ARE YOU GONNA CRY?

STOP IT.

HE'S GONNA CRY.

STOP IT. STOP IT.

EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ARE PUSSIES.

EVIL ALIEN PUSSIES.

- EVIL ALIEN PUSSIES. - EVIL ALIEN PUSSIES.

- EVIL ALIEN PUSSIES. - EVIL ALIEN PUSSIES.

NOW I WILL DESTROY YOU!

- ALL RIGHT! - [GRUNTING]

SO THREE LARGE COKES, THREE LARGE FRIES,

NUGGETS, YEAH!

HOW I LONG FOR THE NOXIOUS ROTTING FRUITS

OF THE PUSTULUM SHRUB, EH, MY-IK?

THESE FRIES AREN'T BAD THOUGH, DU-UG.

SO YOU GUYS ARE REALLY GONNA BUILD YOUR OWN FLYING MACHINE?

A DOOMSDAY MACHINE.

NAMED BECAUSE IT WILL SPELL DOOM FOR EVERY HUMAN HEAD.

PRECISELY, DU-UG.

THUS MAKING IT THEIR DOOMSDAY.

- EXACTLY. - THE DAY OF THEIR--

SHUT UP, DU-UG.

NOW WE WILL BEGIN.

WHOA.

IMPRESSIVE, GUYS.

LIKE THE SCUM HAG OF ANAL ANUS.

OUR DOOMSDAY MACHINE WILL BRING UTTER DEVASTATION.

BUT, MY-IK,

HOW WILL WE ENSURE THAT THE HUMANS

STAND UP FOR THEIR BEHEADINGS?

THUSLY.

[PLAYS STAR-SPANGLED BANNER]

BUT, MY-IK, HOW WILL THE HUMANS HEAR OUR COMMANDS?

THUSLY.

BOW DOWN, LOWLY EARTHLINGS.

BRING US YOUR HEADS!

BUT, MY-IK,

WILL NOT SOME VENGEFUL HUMAN

TRY TO SHOOT OUR DOOMSDAY MACHINE DOWN?

NOT IF WE GIVE THEM WHAT THEY LIKE--

NUDIES!

WHOA.

NOW, HOW DID YOU GUYS GET THOSE BIKES?

THIS IS IRRELEVANT.

YOU DIDN'T GET THEM OFF THOSE TWO KIDS?

FAREWELL, KENNY.

WHEN THE HISTORY OF OUR GREAT

AND GLORIOUS MISSION IS RECORDED,

YOURS WILL BE A TINY BUT MEANINGFUL FOOTNOTE.

- FOOTNOTE. - THANKS, GUYS,

BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD GET GOING BECAUSE--

- ENTHUSE FOR RABIRR! - ENTHUSE FOR RABIRR!

UH, THAT IS MY BOOM BOX, JUST SO YOU KNOW.

YOU WILL LOSE YOUR HEADS!

- BOW DOWN, LOWLY HUMANS! - HEY!

THE EVIL ALIEN PUSSIES ARE STEALING OUR BIKES!

YOUR HEADS ARE NOW OURS!

HUMANS--

WE WANT YOUR HEADS.

YOU WILL BE HEADLESS.

YOUR HEADS ARE NOW OURS!

LOOK AT THE EVIL ALIENS PUSSIES!

DUDE!

THAT IS SO UNCOOL!

ANOTHER DEBACLE.

ONE AFTER THE OTHER, DU-UG.

[SIGHS]

IT IS TRUE THAT UTTER INDIGNITY HAS BEEN OUR FATE

THUS FAR ON THIS PLANET, MY-IK,

BUT BY THE DRIED PIECES OF BARF FLECKED THROUGH RABIRR'S BEARD,

I STILL BELIEVE WE WILL TRIUMPH.

NO, DU-UG.

WE WILL FAIL AS WE HAVE BEEN FAILING.

LET US FACE THE FACTS, SHALL WE?

WE HAVE NO POWERS WHATSOEVER.

IN FACT, IT IS NOW MY PERCEPTION

WE ARE FAR WEAKER THAN THE HUMANS.

THERE IS 5.8 BILLION OF THEM, THERE'S TWO OF US,

AND WE HAVE LESS THAN ONE DAY LEFT!

CROKER WILL BE PICKING OUR BONES FROM HIS TEETH.

YOU CAN REST ASSURED OF THAT.

HE'LL BE USING OUR GUTS AS PARTY FAVORS.

OUR HEADS WILL BE RETURNED TO KABIJJ

AND THE EMPEROR HIMSELF WILL PASS GAS AT THEM.

TWO MORE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS WILL COME,

WILL SUCCEED, AND WILL WIN PENNY AND JAN!

WE'RE FAILURES!

COMPLETE AND PATHETIC FAILURES, DU-UG!

MY FATHER WAS RIGHT AFTER ALL.

HE SAID, "MY-IK," HE SAID, "YOU WILL BE A FAILURE,

A COMPLETE AND PATHETIC FAILURE."

I SAID, "NO, FATHER, NO I WILL NOT."

HE SAID, "YES, YES, YOU WILL FAIL AS I HAVE IN ALL THINGS."

"NO, FATHER.

NO I WON'T.

HE SAID, "YES, BY RABIRR'S STINKING BUTT CRACK, YES."

"NO, FATHER, NO.

I'M NOT LISTENING!

NO, I WON'T LISTEN TO YOU ANYMORE!

NO, NO, NO!"

LA LA LA LA LA!

MY-IK! MY-IK!

LA LA LA LA LA!

MY-IK!

YOU ARE A KABIJJIAN WARRIOR, MY-IK.

YOU ARE AN EVIL ALIEN CONQUEROR.

YOU ARE CAUSING YOUR MAKEUP TO RUN.

WE NEED YOUR BRILLIANCE, MY-IK!

YOU ARE THE BRAINS HERE, MY FRIEND.

WE HAVE ONLY A SHORT TIME LEFT.

FORGIVE ME, DU-UG.

AM I SHINY?

JUST A LITTLE.

BETTER.

I'LL SEE YOU HERE AT 12:00, OKAY?

OKAY?

OKAY.

HEY, MAYBE CROKER WON'T EVEN COME.

MAYBE HE'LL FORGET.

YOU DON'T KNOW CROKER.

POOR EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS.

ARE YOU READY, GIANT CROKER?

I AM!

IF THEY HAVE FAILED,

DESTROY THEM WITH YOUR GIANT SWORD.

IF THEY HAVE SUCCEEDED, DESTROY THEM ANYWAY.

YES!

SEND HIM!

GOOD-BYE.

ONE THING I WONDER ABOUT, GREAT RABIRR.

WHY DIDN'T YOU SEND CROKER IN THE FIRST PLACE?

SHUT UP!

[TECHNO MUSIC]

PLAY THE SUPERTRAMP.

PLAY THE SUPERTRAMP!

SUPERTRAMP.

SUPERTRAMP!

THIS IS HOW WE DANCE IN CABBAGE LAND, GODDESSES.

JAN, THE RED ONION TRULY IS A WORLD OF FUN.

- OH, I GLAD YOU LIKE IT, MY-IK. - NO.

I HATE TO LEAVE HERE,

BUT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER WE MUST SURELY LEAVE HERE SOON.

HOW IS YOUR, UH, YOUR MISSION GOING?

TO BE FRANK, JAN, I HAD NO IDEA

HOW UTTERLY INEPT DU-UG AND I WERE WHEN WE CAME HERE.

OH, WELL, MAYBE IT'S NOT YOU THAT'S INEPT.

MAYBE IT'S THE MISSION.

OH, JAN, THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

[CLEARS THROAT]

UH, PENNY, JAN,

MY-IK AND I HAVE NOT BEEN ENTIRELY TRUTHFUL WITH YOU.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

THE TRUTH IS...

WE ARE NOT HUMAN.

WE ARE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS

SENT BY THE EMPEROR RABIRR TO DOMINATE THIS PLANET

AND ANNIHILATE ALL HUMAN LIFE.

BY MIDNIGHT TONIGHT

WE'LL EITHER BE SUCCESSFUL IN OUR MISSION

AND BE RETURNED TO OUR PLANET IN GLORY--

OR BE HUNTED DOWN LIKE WILD BELKRONS

AND DESTROYED BY THE GREAT AND MERCILESS CROKER.

WHO IS 100 FEET TALL.

THE REASON WE DIDN'T TELL YOU ALL THIS AT FIRST WAS BECAUSE,

WELL, WE THOUGHT THAT YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE US

IF YOU KNEW THAT OUR JOB WAS TO BEHEAD YOU.

YOU WERE PLANNING ON BEHEADING US?

WELL, THAT WAS OUR MISSION,

BUT THEN WE DECIDED TO ANNIHILATE

ALL OTHER HUMAN LIFE

AND BRING YOU BACK TO KABIJJ WITH US.

KNOWING FULL WELL THAT, IF CROKER COMMANDED IT

WE WOULD HAVE NO CHOICE

BUT TO CRAVENLY COMPLY AND BEHEAD YOU AS WELL.

IN WHICH CASE WE WOULD FREEZE-DRY YOUR HEADS

AND KEEP THEM IN AIR-TIGHT BAGS NEAR OUR BEDS.

OH, DU-UG, I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING TOGETHER.

WE DO, PENNY!

I THOUGHT I OPENED YOUR EYES TO THINGS, MY-IK.

GLORIA ESTEFAN?

PITA BREAD SANDWICHES WITH TURMERIC RICE?

YOU HAVE, JAN.

WE LOVE YOU GODDESSES.

WELL, IF YOU LOVE US,

THEN YOU WILL NOT BEHEAD ALL OF MANKIND.

BUT IT'S OUR MISSION.

WE ARE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS.

WELL, THEN, IT IS YOUR MISSION OR US.

GOOD-BYE, MY-IK.

GOOD-BYE, DU-UG.

PENNY. PENNY!

CAN I FINISH YOUR SMIRNOFF ICE?

MAY I FINISH YOUR SMIRNOFF ICE, MY-IK?

NO!

[GROWLS]

HEY, HEY, HEY!

THOSE ARE OUR DRINKS ASSHOLE.

[GRUNTING]

YEEE!

YEEE!

FORGET IT.

GREAT RAGING BELKRON!

HE'S GOING TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH OUR GODDESSES!

HE WILL NOT TOUCH A HAIR ON THEIR FEET!

CALMLY, MY-IK.

CALMLY.

YOU WILL DIE IN AGONY, RON!

WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE EVIL ALIEN LIMP DICKS.

OH, TELL US SOMETHING WE DON'T KNOW.

DU-UG?

YOU CANNOT GO WITH THIS PERSON, PENNY.

HE ONLY WANTS YOU FOR HIS DEBAUCHERY.

ALL RIGHT, GET OUT OF HERE, LOSERS.

NEVER, MISTER THREESOME!

LOOK.

YOU WANNA MESS WITH ME?

I BENCH 220, OKAY?

SO DON'T MESS WITH THE BIG DOG.

NOW YOU WILL PAY, RON.

WELL, SO MUCH FOR THESE GUYS.

SHALL WE RETIRE TO MY CRIB, LADIES?

LADIES?

OH, MAN!

I'M GONNA PAY YOU TWO LOSERS BACK FOR THIS.

SWEAR TO GOD.

WHAT THE HELL?

DU-UG?

YES, MY-IK?

WE CANNOT ALLOW CROKER TO HARM OUR GODDESSES.

WE MUST STOP HIM.

AND OUR MISSION, MY-IK?

NOW WE HAVE A NEW MISSION, MY FRIEND.

[GROWLS]

[YELLS]

AHA!

I AM NOT FOOLED!

WHERE IS MY SWORD?

I NEED NO SWORD; I AM CROKER!

I AM ENORMOUS!

[WHOOSHING]

HEY, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

YOU TWO ARE NOT ALLOWED IN HERE.

OUT OF THE WAY, BREEN.

GET OUT.

[HIGH-PITCHED WAILING]

THAT SCREECHING THING ACTUALLY WORKS.

YES, IF ONLY WE'D DISCOVERED IT SOONER.

OH, HEY, GUYS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WE NEED YOUR VEHICLE, KENNY.

WHAT FOR?

WE MUST GO OUT TO THE DESERT AND INTERCEPT CROKER.

WE'VE DECIDED TO SACRIFICE OURSELVES

BEFORE HE DESTROYS THE REST OF THE PLANET.

SERIOUSLY?

WOW. I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE GONNA DOMINATE.

LOVE HAS CHANGED EVERYTHING, KENNY.

PLEASE, YOUR KEYS.

WELL, YOU GUYS HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TO DRIVE A CAR?

NO.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO SAY NO TO THIS ONE, FELLAS.

FAREWELL, KENNY.

DIE PAINLESSLY, GUYS.

YOU TOO.

I COULD GIVE YOU SOME GLOWSTICKS.

- YES! - YES!

GLOWSTICKS.

HEY!

[HIGH-PITCHED WAILING]

MY GOD, THAT'S ANNOYING.

OH!

WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

IT WOULD TAKE A THOUSAND OF YOUR TINY MEALS

TO SLAKE MY GIGANTIC APPETITE!

YOU MIGHT LIKE ONE OF OUR SPECIAL VALUE MEALS.

WHAT?

YOUR TINY VOICE BARELY REACHES MY HUGE EARS!

WE GOT THE HICKORY BURGER ON SPECIAL, $4.29.

I TELL YOU, YOUR PUNY FOODSTUFFS

COULD NOT BEGIN TO FILL MY ENORMOUS BELLY!

WE GOT ANOTHER ONE, MR. BREEN.

[PHONE RINGS]

[CLEARS THROAT] CAN I HELP YOU?

I AM CROKER THE MERCILESS!

I CAME TO DESTROY YOUR PLANET AND SQUASH IT

BENEATH MY MIGHTY FOOT.

BUT FIRST, WHERE ARE MY-IK AND DU-UG?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL, OKAY, BUDDY?

I CAN HEAR YOU JUST FINE.

I WILL CRUSH YOU LIKE A BUG!

AGGH!

AGGH!

AHH!

AGGH!

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.

YOU'RE OUTTA HERE.

I AM CROKER!

I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE.

GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!

WHAT IS THAT?

THIS IS MY MIGHTY GIANT RAY GUN!

GIVE ME A BREAK.

AAGH!

[ZAPPING]

HUH?

UH, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TALK TO KENNY

ABOUT THOSE OTHER GUYS.

AAH!

I AM CROKER!

YOU CAN'T BE CROKER.

CROKER'S, LIKE, 100 FEET TALL, DUDE.

I AM 100 FEET TALL!

YOU ARE?

BEHOLD MY IMMENSITY.

NOW, WHERE ARE MY-IK AND DU-UG?

OH, UM.

WELL, THEY'RE PROBABLY AT MY HOUSE GETTING THEIR STUFF.

WHERE IS THIS HOUSE?

OH, UH, 423 BELINDA COURT.

423 BELINDAAHH!

- AAH! - IT'S, LIKE, UH, HALF A MILE FROM HERE.

YOU JUST KEEP WALKING DOWN THE ROAD.

CAN'T MISS IT.

THAT WOULD BE BUT ONE GIANT STRIDE FOR THE MIGHTY CROKER!

I WILL CONSUME ALL OF THE FOOD IN HERE!

HA HA! OH!

THAT'S GONNA BE HOT.

OH! OWW!

[SCREAMING]

AAH! UH. AAH!

I DO NOT EVEN FEEL THE PAIN!

AAH!

DUDE, ARE YOU OKAY?

YOIKES.

PENNY, JAN!

MY-IK, DU-UG!

HELP.

O GREAT CROKER, DESTROYER OF ALL,

FORGIVER OF NONE,

WHILE WE HAVE FAILED TO TAKE THE PLANET,

WE HAVE COMPILED A LIST

OF THE WORST ENEMIES TO OUR CAUSE.

MR. BREEN.

THE COW.

RON.

THAT KID WHO BEAT ME UP.

- HEY, CROKER! - HEY, CROKER!

[HIGH-PITCHED WAILING]

BY RABIRR'S UNKEMPT MUFF, THERE ARE THINGS

THAT I WILL MISS ABOUT THIS HIDEOUS PLANET, MY-IK.

THE SUPERTRAMP.

FRIES.

SMIRNOFF ICE.

KENNY. PENNY.

JAN.

YOU KNOW, I REALLY HATE KABIJJ.

ME TOO.

GREAT RAGING BELKRONS, MY-IK, LOOK!

WHAT IS IT, DU-UG?

BY RABIRR'S SAGGY MAN BREASTS, CROKER'S SWORD SHRANK, MY-IK.

YET WHY WOULD HE LEAVE IT?

PERHAPS BECAUSE HE DOES NOT NEED IT, DU-UG.

DO YOU MEAN THE TRANSPORTER MADE HIM GROW EVEN MORE?

HE IS THUNDERING ACROSS THE LANDSCAPE EVEN NOW,

SEARCHING FOR US, LEVELING ALL IN HIS PATH.

A PATH THAT WILL LEAD INEVITABLY TO--

- KENNY'S HOUSE! - KENNY'S HOUSE!

[KENNY] MY-IK!

DU-UG!

WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?

[COYOTE CALLS]

WHOA, COOL SWORD!

423 BELINDA!

AHA!

[MAN] GET OUT OF THE ROAD, ASSHOLE.

BAH!

HUH.

AAH!

AAH!

- YEAH? - I'M CROKER!

WHAT?

I WILL DESTROY YOU!

GET OUTTA HERE, MAN.

AAH! AAH!

BEWARE OF MY MIGHTY RAY GUN.

YEAH, I'LL DO THAT.

[WHIRRING]

[ZAPPING]

NOW YOU BURNED A HOLE IN MY DOOR, ASSHOLE.

NOW I GOT TO HANG A NEW ONE.

JESUS. WHAT DO YOU WANT, MAN?

I AM NOT A MAN!

I AM CROKER, AND I'M HERE TO DESTROY MY-IK AND DU-UG.

MY-IK AND DU-UG?

YOU'RE HERE TO GET RID OF MY-IK AND DU-UG?

HELL, MAN, I'LL HELP YOU WITH THAT.

I OWE THOSE GUYS. COME ON IN.

I WILL FIGHT YOU, CROKER.

EXCALIBUR!

HEY.

HMM!

THIS IS GOING TOO SLOWLY, DU-UG.

WE MUST GO MORE QUICKLY.

I HAVE AN IDEA, MY-IK.

- HUH? - HUH.

[GROANING]

HEY!

LISTEN, THE RAY GUN IS GOOD AND ALL,

BUT SERIOUSLY, CROKER,

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DOMINATE

THE WHOLE WORLD WITH JUST THAT.

IT'S JUST NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

IF YOU WANNA TAKE OVER THE WHOLE WORLD,

YOU NEED TO FIND A WAY TO REACH PEOPLE,

A LOT OF PEOPLE.

GREETINGS, HUMANS.

I AM CROKER!

- LITTLE TOO LOUD. - I AM HERE TO PRESENT YOU

WITH THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME, A LIFETIME!

IF I AM LOUD, IT IS BECAUSE I AM SO EXCITED

ABOUT THIS OPPORTUNITY!

GOOD, GOOD.

ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH TALK!

LET'S GET TO THE POINT!

HAVE YOU EVER WISHED FOR A GIANT DESTROYER

TO COME FROM THE PLANET KABIJJ AND ANNIHILATE ALL HUMAN LIFE?

WELL, FRIENDS, NOW IS YOUR CHANCE!

FOR ONLY $29.95, I, CROKER THE MERCILESS,

WILL SMASH YOU BENEATH MY MIGHTY FOOT.

I AM 100 FEET TALL!

I CAN CRUSH YOU BETWEEN MY ENORMOUS FINGERS, AARGH!

STICK TO THE SCRIPT, CROKER.

ACT NOW AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE THIS REMARKABLE EXERCISE DEVICE,

THE BELLY TWISTER, AND CROKER DOMINATION.

GREAT AND THEN WE GO TO?

RRRAH!

ALTHOUGH I AM 100 FEET TALL, MY BELLY WAS SOFT.

BUT THEN I DISCOVERED BELLY TWISTER,

AND NOW MY BELLY IS LIKE STEEL!

IT'S SO EASY TO USE!

WHERE I COME FROM, WE TURN INTO A GELATINOUS,

FOAMY OOZE UPON DEATH,

BUT NOW THANKS TO BELLY TWISTER,

THAT OOZE WILL BE ROCK HARD!

BELLY TWISTER!

BELLY TWISTER!

BELLY TWISTER!

BELLY TWISTER!

BELLY TWISTER!

BUT, CROKER, HOW DO WE KNOW YOU ARE WHAT YOU SAY?

HOW DO WE KNOW? YOU'RE JUST AN ACTOR.

I AM NO ACTOR.

I AM CROKER!

REMEMBER $29.95 FOR BELLY TWISTER

AND CROKER DOMINATION.

WHO COULD SAY NO TO SUCH AN OFFER, CROKER?

ONLY AN ASSHOLE, CROKER.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THEY WILL COME?

'CAUSE I HAVE THEIR STUFF.

HOW IS MY PERFORMANCE THUS FAR?

IT WAS GOOD. IT WAS REALLY GOOD.

DO YOU HAVE ACTING TRAINING?

[GRUNTING]

YEAH!

[MY-IK] NOW!

OH, I SEE NO DAMAGE YET, MY-IK.

PERHAPS HE FLEW HERE, DU-UG.

CROKER CAN FLY?

DARE YOU BELIEVE HIM INCAPABLE OF IT?

OH, A FLYING CROKER!

WELL, WE WILL GET TO OUR WEAPONS

AND WE WILL FIGHT HIM THE BEST WE CAN.

TELL ME AGAIN WHY WE DIDN'T TAKE CROKER'S SWORD?

[DU-UG] BECAUSE THAT BELONGS TO CROKER.

HEY, MY-IK. HEY, DU-UG.

WE'RE HERE FOR OUR WEAPONS, RON.

IF WE HAD MORE TIME, WE WOULD FIGHT YOU

TO THE DEATH OVER THE HONOR OF PENNY AND JAN.

BUT AS WE MUST FIGHT THE GREAT FLYING CROKER

BEFORE HE DESTROYS EARTH, WE WILL GET OUR WEAPONS AND GO.

SO CROKER'S HERE, HUH?

[DU-UG] OH, HE'S HERE.

A HORRID BEHEMOTH.

[MY-IK] A GREAT, MONUMENTAL CREATURE

WHO WILL STRIKE TERROR INTO YOUR VERY SOUL.

SO, GUYS, THIS CROKER, DOES HE WEAR A PURPLE JUMPSUIT?

- YES. - THINNING HAIR?

- YES. - BIG, BOOMING VOICE?

- YES. - BIT OVERWEIGHT?

- YES. - BAD TEETH?

GREAT RAGING BELKRONS!

YOU'VE SEEN HIM?

I HAVE.

IN FACT, HEY, CROKER!

- CROKER! - CROKER!

NO!

BOW DOWN BEFORE CROKER THE MERCILESS!

[SCREAMING]

NOW I WILL CRUSH YOU BENEATH MY MIGHTY FOOT,

FOR YOU HAVE FAILED!

AARGH!

AAH!

DO NOT BE FOOLED, FOR I AM TRULY GIANT!

AAH!

[SCREAMING]

AS EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS,

DU-UG AND I THOUGHT WE WOULD COME TO EARTH

AND DOMINATE IT.

NOW WE HAVE FAILED UTTERLY

AND MUST FACE THE WRATH OF CROKER.

[CROKER] I AM CROKER!

YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY THAT!

[CROKER] I'M 100 FEET TALL!

KEEP GOING.

IF ONLY WE HAD STRENGTHENED OUR BELLIES, EH, DU-UG?

BUT WITH WHAT, MY-IK?

BELLY TWISTER MIGHT'VE SAVED YOU

FROM MY WRATH HAD YOU ORDERED IT IN TIME.

HOW MUCH WOULD IT'VE COST US, CROKER?

ONLY $29.95 PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING.

A SMALL PRICE TO PAY TO HAVE SAVED OUR LIVES, EH, MY-IK?

DO NOT LOSE YOUR HEARD ABOUT IT, DU-UG.

I WILL LOSE MY HEAD, DU-UG.

YES, YOU WILL!

[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]

ARRGH!

NOW, MY-IK AND DU-UG,

PREPARE TO FACE THE WRATH OF CROKER.

I AM SAVING MY MIGHTY SWORD FOR YOU HUMANS,

BUT ONLY IF YOU ACT NOW.

BUT FOR THESE TWO, THIS WILL DO.

IT HAS NO GAS, CROKER.

I NEED NO GAS! I AM GIANT!

YOU CAN USE MY MACHETE IF YOU LIKE, CROKER.

YOU SHALL START!

JUST USE THE DAMN MACHETE, CROKER.

COME HERE.

SO WHEN YOU BEHEAD THESE GUYS, IS IT GONNA BE, LIKE, MESSY?

IT WILL MORE LIKE SLICING VEGETABLES.

WE'RE MORE LIKE PLANTS THAN ANIMALS.

NOW I'M OVERHEATED!

CRYSTAL GEYSERS, DUDE.

DU-UG.

WHAT IS IT, MY-IK?

LOOK.

BY RABIRR'S SPASTIC COLON, YOU'RE BRILLIANT, MY-IK.

NO, I'M NOT BRILLIANT.

YES.

- NO. - YES, YOU ARE.

- NO. - YES, YOU ARE BRILLIANT.

- NO, MY-IK. - YES!

- NO! - YES, I'M TELLING YOU!

- NO. - YES, MY-IK!

NO! ALL RIGHT, I'M BRILLIANT.

YOU HAPPY NOW?

[CROKER] SO YOU DON'T THINK I LOOK FAT?

NO, NOT AT ALL.

AAH!

NOW, CROKER, WE WILL DESTROY YOU!

[GRUNTING]

IT WAS STILL A GOOD IDEA, MY-IK.

THANK YOU, DU-UG.

I HAVE HEARD, MY-IK, THAT AFTER BEHEADING,

ONE'S HEAD LIVES FOR APPROXIMATELY

THREE TO FIVE SECONDS.

ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING, DU-UG?

PERHAPS OUR HEADS WILL HAVE TIME TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO EACH OTHER.

OR AT LEAST A WINK AND A SMILEY FACE.

WELL, GOOD-BYE, EVIL ALIEN CONQUEROR DU-UG.

GOOD-BYE, EVIL ALIEN CONQUEROR MY-IK.

HE'S HAD 50,000 TELKRONS.

BRING HIM BACK NOW!

SO YOU THINK I HAVE CHARISMA?

DEFINITELY.

OKAY, CROKE MAN.

LET'S CUT SOME VEGETABLES.

I WILL GET THEM BOTH WITH ONE SWING, RONSTER.

AND REMEMBER, HUMANS,

FOR JUST $29.95, THIS CAN BE YOUR FATE!

HOLD IT, CROKER.

- PENNY! - JAN!

HERE FOR THE THREESOME, LADIES?

NOT EVEN CLOSE.

YOU TWO!

THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S US, PEN-NY AND JA-AN,

THE FIRST EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS TO COME.

BUT YOU TWO BURNED UP IN A TRANSPORTER!

NO, CROKER, WE MADE IT.

WE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO FULFILL RABIRR'S EVIL PLAN.

- WE LOVE EARTH. - AND WE LOVE MY-IK AND DU-UG.

WE MADE IT, AND OUR SWORDS MADE IT AS WELL.

AW, MAN!

I WILL DESTROY YOU!

HA! UNH!

[GROANS]

CROKER, BE STRONG.

YOU ARE INVINCIBLE!

WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

COULD IT BE FEAR?

WHY DOES MY MIGHTY HAND TREMBLE SO?

FIGHT ON, CROKER,

FOR TRULY IT IS YOUR SPIRIT THAT IS GIANT!

AAH!

[GLASS SHATTERS]

CROKER LASER EYES!

CROKER MESMERIZING BALL!

CROKER FIRE BREATH!

CROKER BODY ODOR!

CROKER HIGH NOTE!

EH!

OH, THIS IS PATHETIC.

COME ON, BAD BOY.

CROKER POWER PUNCH!

CROKER TORNADO!

OH!

OW!

NOW YOU WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF THE GIANT CROKER.

YOU'RE NOT A GIANT.

- HEY, CROKER! - HEY, CROKER!

YES?

[HIGH-PITCHED WAILING]

OH!

PEN-NY!

JA-AN!

TRIUMPH!

HEY, KIDS.

LOOK WHAT UNCLE RONNIE FOUND.

LET'S PLAY.

[ZAPPING]

- JA-AN! - PEN-NY!

WHERE WAS HE.

[WHOOSHING]

PLACE ME ON A LARGE SPIKE!

WHATEVER.

OH, HEY.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I'M KENNY.

[ALL] ENTHUSE FOR KENNY.

OH.

ENTHUSE FOR KENNY.

ENTHUSE FOR KENNY.

ENTHUSE FOR KENNY.

ENTHUSE FOR KENNY.

THE GLUTE TWISTER WILL DO IT FOR YOU.

FOR ONLY $24.95, YOU CAN HAVE A GLUTEUS MAXIMUS

THAT WILL DOMINATE THE PLANET.

WHO CAN SAY NO TO SUCH AN OFFER, CROKER?

ONLY AN ASSHOLE, CROKER.

HE'S JUST ALL OVER CABLE ACCESS THESE DAYS.

EVER SINCE EMPEROR KENNY OPENED TRADE,

IT'S JUST BEEN CRAZY!

- WANNA GET LUNCH? - YEAH.

AND HERE'S ONE EVIL ALIEN BURGER MEAL.

ENTHUSE FOR KENNY.

- ENTHUSE FOR KENNY. - ENTHUSE FOR KENNY.

OH!

ALL RIGHT ASSHOLE KIDS, TAKE OVER.

YES, SIR, MR. MY-IK.

HOW IS YOUR FOOD, LADIES?

IT'S REALLY VERY GOOD.

THE JACK CHEESE AND SLIME MAGGOTS

GO VERY WELL TOGETHER.

WELL, WE MAY NOT HAVE TAKEN OVER THE WORLD,

BUT WE DID TAKE OVER THE WORLD OF FAST FOOD IN THIS MINI-MALL.

PERHAPS YOU'VE BEEN WONDERING

WHY MY-IK AND I HAVE BEEN ACTING A BIT UNUSUAL LATELY.

THE COMPULSIVE WIG-WEARING, THE SHAMPOO DRINKING,

THE CRYING JAGS FOLLOWED BY THE PERIODS

OF INTENSE LEGAL STUDY.

WELL, THERE IS A REASON FOR ALL OF IT.

MY-IK, DU-UG, DO YOU MEAN--

IT SEEMS YOUR FEET ARE FIRING NO BLANKS, LADIES!

IN APPROXIMATELY 72 HOURS, MY-IK AND I WILL WELCOME

OUR FIRST LITTERS OF BABY EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS.

[BABIES] YOU WILL DIE BEGGING FOR MERCY!

[BABIES] AND WE WILL GLADLY PROVIDE IT.

OH.

♪ THEY'RE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ♪

♪ THEY RULE!

♪ BOW DOWN ON YOUR KNEES

♪ THEY'RE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ♪

♪ THEY RULE!

♪ NO, THEY WON'T ASK YOU PLEASE ♪

♪ THE "E" IS FOR EVIL

♪ AND EVIL YOU WILL SEE

♪ THE "A" IS FOR ALIEN

♪ FOR ALIENS THEY BE

♪ THE "C" IS FOR CONQUERORS

♪ AND CONQUER YOU THEY SHALL

♪ THE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS WILL NEVER BE YOUR PAL ♪

♪ THEY'RE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ♪

♪ THEY RULE!

♪ BOW DOWN ON YOUR KNEES

♪ THEY'RE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ♪

♪ THEY RULE!

♪ NO THEY WON'T ASK YOU PLEASE ♪

♪ THE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS

♪ THEY'RE EVIL BECAUSE OF THEIR PLAN ♪

♪ AND THE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ♪

♪ THEY'RE ALIENS FROM A STRANGE LAND ♪

♪ THE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS

♪ THEY'LL CONQUER YOUR VERY SOUL ♪

♪ THE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS WANT YOUR HEAD ON A POLE ♪

♪ THEY'RE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ♪

♪ THEY RULE!

♪ BOW DOWN ON YOUR KNEES

♪ THEY'RE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ♪

♪ THEY RULE!

♪ NO THEY WON'T ASK YOU PLEASE ♪

♪ THEY RULE!

♪ THEY RULE!

♪ THEY COME TO YOUR PLANET

♪ IN THEIR JUMPSUITS OF RED

♪ THEY'RE ON A MISSION TO DECAPITATE YOUR HEAD ♪

♪ DON'T WANT YOUR BACKTALK, DON'T WANT YOUR ADVICE ♪

♪ THEY JUST WANT TO VANQUISH YOU ♪

♪ AND DRINK YOUR SMIRNOFF ICE

♪ THEY'RE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ♪

♪ THEY RULE!

♪ BOW DOWN ON YOUR KNEES

♪ THEY'RE EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS ♪

♪ THEY RULE!

♪ NO THEY WON'T ASK YOU PLEASE ♪

♪ THEY'RE EVIL ALIENS

♪ THEY CONQUER AND THEY RULE

♪ WHOA

♪ WHOA

♪ WHOA

♪ THEY RULE!

[MUSIC FADES]

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