All language subtitles for Blackish.s07e16.HD

Babies.

They can't do [bleep].

From the moment they're born,
all they do is take.

And as they get bigger,
they only take more.

Time.

Money.

Effort.

And if you do an even
halfway decent job?

They just up and leave you.

Yep, parent...

it's the worst job
you'll never apply for.

W-Why are we sending Devante's
birthday invitations?

- He's got hands.
- Mm.

Zora. Nile.

I don't even know who these kids are.

- That's it, babe, you know what?
- Hmm?

We are not politely declining gifts.

- I want real ones. And no books.
- Okay.

The school is saying I have to fly coach

on the class trip to France.

- Fix it.
- And we're out of milk?

What do you people do all day?

Oh, I don't know.

We just sit around all day
being ungrateful.

- Oh, no. I'm sorry.
- I work.

That's you. You're the ungrateful ones!

If you're here to raid
the milk, too late.

Guys, I'm 21. I can buy my own milk.

Also, I'm 21. I don't drink milk. Ew.

Then why are you here?
Haven't we given you enough?

I actually wanted to deliver this.

- What is that?
- Mm.

Dinner at yours and Olivia's place?

- Mm-hmm.
- Huh.

Okay. And what time do you want
us to have the dinner delivered?

No, we're hosting you.

Moving out of the house
and in with Olivia,

I realized you guys
have given me so much.

I wouldn't be where I am
without you two.

Mm. Mm.

- Okay, it's a trap.
- Mm.

- Yeah, he's selling something.
- That's a trap. Absolutely.

He's gonna hold us hostage until
we buy his nasal vitamins.

Guys, I swear, there is no catch.

Think of this dinner as
my way of saying "Thank you."

- Hmm.
- Thank you?

To us? Mm-hmm.

Is... Is this real?

Babe, it... it feels real.

Oh, I thought this only
happened in the movies

when one of the parents was sick.

- Is he...?
- Walk him out. Quickly.

Are you about to ugly cry?

- Walk him out. Quickly.
- Get out.

- Uh, yeah.
- Get out of here.

- Go, go, go, go.
- Ah!

- You gonna ugly cry?
- Shh!

Okay, let it out, baby.

Oh, come on.

- Subs by kinglouisxx -
for www.addic7ed.com

- To our son...
- Mm.

- ...Junior.
- Whoo!

The first Johnson child
to pay us back in any way.

Yes.

I've always had a good feeling

- about that Junior.
- What?

That's why I've been there
for him every step of the way.

I put the time in, you know?

You literally tried to take
the "Junior" from his name

when he said he didn't like
"New Jack City."

- Iron sharpens iron, Bow.
- Uh-huh.

- And let's not bury the lede on this, okay?
- What's that?

We raised a young Black boy

- to maturity in America.
- Ooh, baby.

We deserve this victory lap
our son is giving us.

- Mm, mm, mm.
- His success is a reflection

of the amazing job

- we've done as parents.
- Ooh.

- You better preach.
- Mm-hmm.

Think of all that we have done
for these children.

- Talk to me.
- Carpooling.

- Every day.
- Shoe buying.

- Five sets.
- Listening.

I hate the listening.

- Their stories go nowhere.
- Circle.

That's why I'm so excited
that one of them

is finally hosting us for once.

- Mm-hmm.
- Finally...

Mm.

...I get why people have kids.

To payback.

- Mm.
- Mm.

Hey, Pops. Can I ask you something?

I don't know. Can you?

Feels light.

It's all there.

We'll just see about that.

All right, regale me with your dilemma.

Okay, so there's this new boy
at school, Bradley...

Hold on.

This feels like a parent problem.

I'm your go-to for grandparent problems,

like when you want to know about the ABA

or what it was like in the '80s
or you need $2.

I need someone who knows
how to solve problems

without being one.

You came to the right person.

I was a freelance fixer back
in the day for Maxine Waters.

Well, I'm trying to get
this boy's attention...

...to stand out, but without
coming off as desperate.

So, like, "I may like you,
but I don't need you."

Mm-hmm.

- High degree of difficulty.
- Mm-hmm.

You want this Bradley to see you,

- but did he?
- Right.

You have to be loud in a quiet way,

project a focused attitude
of complete indifference.

So barge in with a calming storm?

Easy.

Playing too much cricket
scares away the bees.

You want to walk the fine line
between a King in a Bar Fight

and the Lady on the Bus.

Mm. Makes perfect sense.

And when you want to end
the conversation,

you hit him with this.

Mm.

You should raise your rates.

- Okay.
- Thanks, Pops!

- You got it, baby.
- Mm!

Pops, you've gotta help me.

- I dropped my chain down the sink.
- Oh, that's easy.

Tie a magnet to a string
and then pull it out.

Will that work? I-It's real gold.

I gave you that chain, Jack. It'll work.

Ah. Okay.

And they act like
this parenting stuff is hard.

When the night of Junior's dinner came,

- we were ready to be wined and dined.
- Hi!

After all, we had earned it.

Oh, my... Oh! Oh, Junior.

- Oh! Hi!
- Hi!

- This is so nice!
- Ah.

- Thank you. Ooh.
- Here you go.

Sorry. Sometimes it... it sticks.

- Oh. Okay.
- Yeah.

Uh, I am
a real, grown-up adult now, yep.

The only cartoons I watch are Japanese.

- Or Pixar.
- Okay.

- I catch a "Caillou" every now and again.
- I see.

Okay, welcome, Dr. and Mr. Johnson.

- Champagne?
- Yes. Oh, my goodness.

- Champagne in a real glass?
- Oh, my gosh.

- Who... Who are we, the Obamas?
- Hello, Barack.

Hello, Michelle.

Sipping Champagne in your son's
fancy apartment...

what better way to see that
you've done your job?

Wait a sec. Is that a crack?

All of a sudden, everywhere I looked,

there were breaks, sparks,

neglect, and fire hazards.

This place was a mess.

What's up with this window?

- Oh, uh, a bat flew into it.
- Oh.

But I e-mailed the new landlord.

- He just hasn't responded yet.
- Oh, yeah.

- So call him.
- Okay.

- And get a rabies shot.
- Okay.

- Babe, it was a bat.
- You know what?

I left a bottle of wine in the car.
I'm gonna go grab it real quick.

- Okay. Sounds good.
- Okay.

I started to see less of an apartment...

...and more of a blank check

we'd have to write to fix everything.

And it wasn't just the money
we would be investing.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

They also needed our time.

- Hey.
- Hmm?

What's going on with you?

- Can't you see?
- What?

We tried giving him the juice,

but he can't handle the juice, Bow.

He needs our juice.

He's not succeeding on his own.

Junior, stop, stop, stop.

You know what? Uh...

we're just gonna try again
when the humidity drops.

That's all right.

At least we're not trapped inside.

Come on.

Dre.

I don't know...
what you're worried about.

All we need to do is
sage that squatter energy

out of there, and it's gonna be fine.

Are you kidding me?

It looks like they furnished that place

- from Restitution Hardware.
- Oh, my...

It's gonna cost us
a lot of money to fix that.

I thought Junior
had crossed the finish line,

but now I see he is cramping
in the home stretch.

Now I gotta come out of the stands

and carry him to the medical tent.

That you think I can follow what
you're saying is astounding.

You can honestly see all of this

and think that he's okay on his own?

You are closing your eyes
to an obvious scam.

But that doesn't surprise me, Bow.

You grew up in a cult.

- Dre.
- Hmm?

You have to remember where he is.

Okay, he could be
in a frat house right now

learning to step from a Kappa
named Big Chavis.

That's because the Omegas
wouldn't want him.

He doesn't have enough rhythm to hop.

Oh, my God.

Dre, they're just trying
to do something nice for us.

Huh?

Can't you just put on a smile

and show them that we appreciate it?

I know you can get onboard for dinner.

- Fine.
- Mm? There you go.

But when I say I have a headache,

that's the signal.

Really? That's so funny.

'Cause whenever I use
that signal on you,

it doesn't work.

- Hey!
- Hey. Hey.

We were just talking about how
wonderful of a time we're having.

- Especially your dad.
- Yep.

- That's what he was saying.
- I was.

- Isn't that what you were saying?
- Just wait.

We haven't even started the games yet.

Ooh! I'm so excited.

Ooh.

Oh, hey. I had to try.

Did you? What are you supposed to do?

There you go.

While Bow and I were out,

Pops, who thought parenting was a snap,

was in charge at home.

Pops, it worked!

That guy from school is totally into me.

Do you wanna go meet him
before we go hang out?

- Not particularly.
- Oh. Come on.

So, this is the man
I was telling you about...

my Pops.

So, uh, you must be Bradley.

Oh, it's, uh... it's "Brad-ley," my man,

but don't worry about it.

And I'd shake your hand,
but I just got inked.

- Huh.
- Nah, I'm just kidding, old man.

Hey, that's how we do it in The Bay.

Okay.

I'm from The Bay.

Did you leave there by choice?

Feels like you skipped a few
chapters there, Brad-ley.

- Pops, you're hilarious.
- Ah.

I'll be home by curfew.

Come on.

Dre's gonna have to
look out for that one.

At Bow's direction,
I plastered on a smile,

tried to relax and have a good time.

- Okay. So, in history...
- Mm-hmm.

...while later proven false,
what was the rumored cause

of the Great Chicago Fire?

- Mm.
- Mm.

Probably too many extension
cords in the kitchen.

I'm... I'm sorry, Dad.

Did you have something
that you wanted to say?

We don't have to get into that, son.

- Mnh-mnh.
- Okay.

No, I-I think we should.

As a future psychotherapist,

I've read that discussing issues
in the open is best

for sustaining familial relationships.

Oh, my God!

Is that what I sound like
every time I say I'm a doctor?

- Yeah.
- Oh, my God!

It sounds so good!

- Well, thank you.
- That sounds good.

Okay, look, I just can't
look the other way

while I'm here, all right?

All I see are Band-Aids when
we raised you to follow through.

Those aren't extension cords
in the kitchen.

That's a fire hazard.

And that stuck door?

When the fire does come

and before you're overtaken by smoke,

the last thought you will have
was, "Dad was right."

Or "Mr. Johnson was right,"
in your case.

Okay, I know we have
some maintenance issues,

but we have a new landlord
who has really been

- dragging his feet on repairs.
- Yes.

So I've collected signatures
from the other tenants,

- demanding action...
- Ooh.

...and now we have a meeting
about it next week.

- Okay.
- Yes.

Look, Dad, while we appreciate
your overreaction,

- we've got this.
- We built a shelf the other day.

We're like the Black
Chip and Joanna Gaines.

- That's what I'm talking about.
- Oh. I see the effort,

and I appreciate the hustle, you guys.

That's why I haven't
said anything, okay?

You know why?
'Cause I'm a rational person.

And a good parent.

Okay, well, in light of new information,

it seems as if you have things
under control.

- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you, Dad.

All right, and keeping
our communication open,

I would just like to say that
if we don't get dinner soon,

I will become unpleasant.

Yes. More unpleasant.

Well, let's get this man
some food, right?

- Yeah.
- Ooh.

- Jack.
- Yeah?

- Come here.
- O-Okay.

Smile.

If anyone asks, we were here
all night together

watching "Jackie Brown" and eating soup.

I know the alibi routine.

W-W-What are you into?

Or is it better that I don't know?

Oh, I just want to make sure
everything's okay

with Diane and this... date.

- You seem really worried.
- No, I'm not worried.

You know who worries? Dads.

- Mm.
- Not granddads like me.

I'm gonna go get a beer.
I'll offer you a sip.

But y-you're pacing.
Usually, you're sitting.

Well, you know what?
You're kinda acting like a dad.

No. I'm acting like
a concerned grandfather

who wants to make sure
that his granddaughter is safe

and making good choices.

Way different from a dad.

Okay.

That's why I'm going to
introduce Brad-ley

- to a friend of mine.
- Hmm.

- He's from Louisville.
- Really?

What's your friend's name?

Oh. The... The bat.

Oh.

Very good, Jack.

Very good.

- Ah.
- Cheers, cheers, cheers.

- All right, let's tuck...
- Oh, hey!

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Before we eat...

So close.

- ...Mom, Dad...
- Yes.

I just wanted to say thank you

for everything that you have
done to help get me here.

- Aw!
- Ah.

When I was a boy,
I needed training wheels,

but you taught me how to pedal
with my own two feet.

- Aw! Goodness.
- And now here we are.

- What is that?
- What is that? Ooh.

Oh.

- The mice are awake.
- Yeah.

What?! Did you just say mice?

Yeah, we saw a mouse a couple weeks ago.

That's actually why we got a cat.

That's why you got a cat?! Excuse me?!

You invited us up in here
in an infestation?!

N-No. No, no!

No-bo-dy eats. Okay?

No. No.

We can't tell if these are
actually raisins in this rice.

Okay, so now you come onto my side?

After the food is served?

Everything is fine.

We've been keeping
all of our food in bins,

and we have stopped buying cheese.

Nothing about that is fine, Junior.

Anyone who thinks that bins and cats

are an acceptable solution

should not be living on their own.
You're moving home.

- Oh, no.
- This is his home.

This is our home.

Don't you worry, little lady.

You are coming, too, all right?

You can study under my roof
and my tutelage.

See, babe, now you are making sense.

We'll pay whatever's left on their lease

and get them moved in by the weekend.

Just until you guys get on your feet.

Okay. Respectfully, we're on our feet.

- Oh.
- And we're staying.

Now, this place may have a few problems,

but we're proud of the home that we...

What the hell was that sound?!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, you guys might want to leave.

A fresh kill normally
brings out the rats.

- The what?!
- Okay.

Do you want me to make you
a to-go plate?

All right, okay.

You know the answer to that, Junior.

Wrap it up.

After a much-needed drive-thru stop,

Bow and I devised a plan to fix
all of Junior's problems.

- Then...
- Mm.

...we bribe an exterminator to fumigate.

They won't have enough money
for a hotel,

and they'll move back in.

And then we teach a "living on
your own" masterclass.

Lesson one... throw out
those soy sauce packets.

What's got you two in here
sounding like "Red Table Talk"?

Well, Pops, Junior has made it obvious

that he is not ready to live on his own,

and him and Olivia think that we
are supposed to be okay with it.

- Well, he's right. You are.
- What?

I think you two are forgetting about
what your first place was like.

- But...
- What?

I mean, I've stayed in some

bad spots in my time,

but even I wouldn't have slept there.

Man, please!

Our first apartment was
way better than Junior's.

Good location, great lighting,
immaculately decorated.

- It was terrible.
- What?

Y'all got all your furniture
from off the curb.

Well, we were into sustainability

- before it was cool.
- Oh, that's what it's called?

Okay, fine.

- We were a mess.
- Mm.

They did find a new species of bedbug

in our apartment.

- Yeah.
- But it's normal for us, Pops,

to want something better
for Junior than we had.

It's frustrating to find out
how much more work

we have left to do with him.

Pops, we were in victory formation,

running out the clock.

I thought the game was over.
We were done.

- What's so funny?
- What?

You thought you were done?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

You'll never be done. Look at me.

I'm still parenting you right now,

and I'm not even good at it.

Mm.

As I have learned,
sometimes all you can do

is hope that they'll be okay,

even when it's not okay with you.

- Ah.
- Ah...

- He has a point.
- Hmm?

We have continued to move

- the goal line for Junior...
- Yeah.

...with school, with his job,
with this apartment.

It's like we're always on him
for a plan.

Yeah.

It's like we always sweat what's next

instead of seeing what is.

And, you know, he is doing pretty good.

He is.

- We may owe him an apology.
- Yeah.

You more than me.

I mean, I handled myself pretty well.

- What?
- I did.

You left your purse there and
said, "It's trash now."

Okay.

- Maybe I should get him flowers.
- Yeah. You should.

Pops, were you waiting up for me?

No, no, no.

Uh... you did stay out
kind of late, though, Diane.

It's 9:30.

Well, that's gotta be past your bedtime.

Well, clearly, it's past yours.

Mm-hmm.

You called your friend from Louisville?

Wait.

Were you worried about me and Brad-ley?

No. No.

I was working with Jack on his swing.

I think the boy got a chance
at playing with the Dodgers.

Pops, Bradley is harmless.

He says he's from The Bay,
but he's really from Sacramento.

He's the new kid trying
to pull a "Fresh Prince,"

and I told him he better drop it
if he's gonna be my boyfriend.

That's all you needed my advice for?

So you could hit him with
an Evander Holyfield?

Pops, I didn't only need
your advice for some boy.

I don't just come to you for cash

or stories about how you used to be able

to smoke around babies.

You're the only person in this house

that doesn't treat me like a kid.

You give it to me straight.

Well, that's the only way
I know how to do it.

You've been showing me how to
be myself for my whole life.

Just being here, watching you.

You've helped me
put the pieces together.

Well, if you ever need more help

putting the pieces together,
or breaking them apart,

you know I'm here for you.

And you know what?

- This one's on the house.
- Oh, no, Pops.

You should get something
for your trouble.

Oh, no. Trust me. I already did.

- I kept 20.
- Oh.

It felt light.

Goodnight, Dee!

Goodnight.

The next day, Bow and I
put together a gift basket

for Junior and Olivia
to pair with our apology.

Is rat poison too much?

- Okay.
- As a gag?

Maybe we don't play into
how awful we were

when we fled their apartment.

Oh, my God. Okay. Let's cover it up.

- It was pretty bad.
- It was terrible.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

Oh, hey. Hey, Junior,
we were on our way...

Actually, I have something to say.

- Oh.
- Oh.

I'm sorry about last night.

I was so excited
to show you guys my new life

that I didn't stop to think about

how you might be disappointed by it.

- No, son.
- Oh, no.

If anyone should apologize,
it should be us.

- It's us.
- Well, you guys aren't wrong.

We are struggling.

The cat is still stuck in the walls.

Yes. Okay, yes.

That is... That is a problem,
but come on.

We just waltzed in there
and started keeping score.

Yeah, but we should be excited
for what's in front of you, son.

- Absolutely.
- Hey.

- You got a good one in Olivia.
- Yes.

She really is.

I'm glad you guys think so too.

Yeah, and the thing is, man,

it shouldn't matter what we think.

You don't need our approval to be happy.

- Pssh.
- You're doing things your way,

and that's how it should be
because it's your life.

Yes.

Guys, this... this means
everything to me...

- ...that you guys have faith in me.
- Mm.

That's what the "Thank you" was for...

- Mm.
- ...to say thank you for raising me

to be the man that I know I am.

Oh.

So, thank you.

- Oh!
- Bring it over here, son.

Come on, bring it, son.

- Oh.
- Oh, God!

- Aw!
- Mm!

Bill.

Hold up.

Who are you?

Mr. Johnson.

I'm delighted to make your acquaintance.

I'm Diane's boyfriend, Bradley.

Oh. Are you, now?

Aah!

"Delighted to make your acquaintance."

Now tell your story walking.