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1
00:00:06,219 --> 00:00:08,279
Our next guest is
a terrific musician.
2
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,150
We're real really
lucky to have him tonight.
3
00:00:10,169 --> 00:00:12,179
His new CD is called
"Eventually."
4
00:00:12,199 --> 00:00:15,119
It's already out of here
and in my car CD player.
5
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:16,270
And he's here to sing
"Ain't Got Me."
6
00:00:16,289 --> 00:00:18,039
Please welcome
Paul Westerberg.
7
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:22,059
(rock music playing)
8
00:00:29,149 --> 00:00:30,249
♪ You got ♪
9
00:00:32,090 --> 00:00:34,120
♪ A call waiting ♪
10
00:00:35,179 --> 00:00:38,069
♪ Now it's irritating ♪
11
00:00:38,090 --> 00:00:41,070
♪ Me to no end ♪
12
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,020
♪ I take a shot ♪
13
00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:49,120
♪ Your hall of fame is ♪
14
00:00:49,140 --> 00:00:52,150
♪ Littered with famous ♪
15
00:00:52,170 --> 00:00:55,250
♪ Women and men ♪
16
00:00:57,189 --> 00:01:01,029
♪ You've got 'em all
on your wall ♪
17
00:01:01,049 --> 00:01:04,209
♪ I'm the last
of a dying breed ♪
18
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,260
♪ 'Cause you ain't got me ♪
19
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,060
♪ No, you ain't,
no, you ain't ♪
20
00:01:08,079 --> 00:01:10,049
♪ Oh, no, you ain't got me ♪
21
00:01:10,069 --> 00:01:11,229
♪ No, you ain't,
no, you ain't ♪
22
00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:14,030
♪ No you ain't got me ♪
23
00:01:14,049 --> 00:01:15,129
Who you waving at?
24
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,140
The girl in the front row.
25
00:01:19,219 --> 00:01:22,079
Oh, wow. Nice rack.
26
00:01:23,230 --> 00:01:24,240
That's Alex.
27
00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:28,290
Who's Alex?
28
00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:30,040
That's the girl
I've been dating.
29
00:01:30,060 --> 00:01:32,100
Oh.
30
00:01:34,049 --> 00:01:35,019
Nice rack.
31
00:01:35,039 --> 00:01:37,229
♪ You got a voice
like the last day ♪
32
00:01:39,009 --> 00:01:41,119
♪ Of Catholic school ♪
33
00:01:43,099 --> 00:01:47,129
♪ Oh, your world's
got everything ♪
34
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:50,080
♪ That you ever need ♪
35
00:01:50,099 --> 00:01:52,179
♪ But you ain't got me ♪
36
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,080
♪ No, you ain't,
no, you ain't ♪
37
00:01:54,099 --> 00:01:56,029
♪ No, you ain't got me ♪
38
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,209
♪ No, you ain't,
no, you ain't ♪
39
00:01:57,229 --> 00:02:02,129
♪ No, you ain't got me ♪
40
00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:07,089
♪ You got Broadway ♪
41
00:02:07,109 --> 00:02:09,209
♪ The longest street ♪
42
00:02:12,210 --> 00:02:16,150
♪ With the shortest memory ♪
43
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,209
Buddy, I'm telling you.
44
00:02:27,229 --> 00:02:29,059
You hit one out
of the park tonight.
45
00:02:29,079 --> 00:02:31,199
Yeah, that's 'cause I'm not
choking up as much on my penis.
46
00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:33,239
Listen, I'm telling you,
the last six weeks
47
00:02:33,259 --> 00:02:35,199
have been the best shows
I've seen you do in years,
48
00:02:35,219 --> 00:02:37,059
and it's all
because you're happy.
49
00:02:37,079 --> 00:02:38,079
'Cause I'm what?
50
00:02:38,099 --> 00:02:39,149
You are happy!
Oh.
51
00:02:39,170 --> 00:02:41,020
Well, I've been feeling
something lately,
52
00:02:41,039 --> 00:02:42,099
and I couldn't put
my finger on it.
53
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,220
Maybe it's that--
What'd you call it?
54
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,240
Happy.
Yeah.
55
00:02:44,259 --> 00:02:48,119
Ten kisses short as one,
one long as 20.
56
00:02:48,139 --> 00:02:51,069
Yeah, why don't you
go get a costume and come back?
Oh yes, with a ruff.
57
00:02:51,090 --> 00:02:52,280
There he is.
Oh.
58
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,160
Larry, god,
you were so great.
59
00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:57,220
Oh, thanks
Thank you for asking me.
60
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,010
And Arthur, thank you.
61
00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:01,060
You gave me the best
seat in the house.
Pleasure, my dear.
62
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,040
Hey, do you think when I
come out to do the monologue
63
00:03:03,060 --> 00:03:04,200
I should just rush
to the front of the stage
64
00:03:04,219 --> 00:03:06,039
and shake everyone's hand
the way Leno does?
65
00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:07,120
No.
I mean--
66
00:03:07,139 --> 00:03:09,159
Larry, I made reservations
for you, 7:30.
67
00:03:09,180 --> 00:03:10,270
Well, shouldn't we be going?
Yes.
68
00:03:10,289 --> 00:03:12,149
It was really nice
to finally meet you, Alex.
69
00:03:12,169 --> 00:03:14,159
Keys, credit card.
I like her.
70
00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:16,270
Well, too bad,
she's mine.
71
00:03:16,289 --> 00:03:18,289
Arthur, why don't you come?
Come to dinner with us?
72
00:03:19,009 --> 00:03:20,279
Oh, thank you, sweet,
I'm afraid I can't.
73
00:03:21,009 --> 00:03:22,239
A producer's day
is never done.
74
00:03:22,259 --> 00:03:24,039
Yeah, he's still
gotta take Hank apart
75
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:25,130
and put him
back in the box.
76
00:03:25,150 --> 00:03:28,000
You inspired him so much,
he'll be on for hours.
77
00:03:28,020 --> 00:03:29,130
Bye-bye.
Good night.
78
00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:30,230
Everyone likes you.
79
00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:32,010
Really? I like everyone.
Everyone.
80
00:03:32,030 --> 00:03:33,080
You were amazing.
81
00:03:33,099 --> 00:03:34,199
You were so amazing.
Hey now!
82
00:03:34,219 --> 00:03:36,039
Oh.
Hank Kingsley.
83
00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:37,240
And you must be Alex?
Alex.
84
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,049
Yes, nice to meet you, Hank.
85
00:03:39,069 --> 00:03:40,069
Nice to meet you. Likewise.
86
00:03:40,090 --> 00:03:41,250
May I say that you are a--
87
00:03:41,270 --> 00:03:44,050
You're a lucky man,
Mr. Larry Sanders.
88
00:03:44,069 --> 00:03:45,059
Why, are you quitting?
89
00:03:45,079 --> 00:03:46,249
(laughing)
90
00:03:46,270 --> 00:03:49,230
No, no.
I think you know what I mean.
91
00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:51,140
Well, I don't want
to hold you guys up.
92
00:03:51,159 --> 00:03:52,249
But have a nice evening.
93
00:03:52,270 --> 00:03:55,020
It was a pleasure
meeting you, Alex.
94
00:03:55,039 --> 00:03:56,099
Yes.
95
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,070
Yeah, I'll see you...
Tomorrow.
96
00:03:58,090 --> 00:03:59,150
Yeah.
97
00:04:00,159 --> 00:04:03,199
Okay. Why don't you
put that away?
98
00:04:03,219 --> 00:04:06,179
I don't usually hear that
until my pants are off.
99
00:04:06,199 --> 00:04:08,059
(chuckling)
100
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,030
No, really,
what are you doing?
101
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,150
It's a sketch
that Phil wrote.
102
00:04:11,169 --> 00:04:13,059
I just--
I just gotta finish it
103
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,150
and then I can put it away.
104
00:04:15,169 --> 00:04:17,169
That's funny.
105
00:04:17,189 --> 00:04:19,019
Hanks playing the mermaid?
106
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,060
Yeah, Hank always
plays the mermaid.
107
00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:23,019
That seems a little
broad, you know?
108
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,110
Well...
You should get
a woman, it's hipper.
109
00:04:25,129 --> 00:04:27,039
That's not a bad idea.
110
00:04:27,060 --> 00:04:29,280
Yeah, I don't know,
a man dressing as a woman,
111
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,240
that's a little...
Benny Hill, don't you think?
112
00:04:32,259 --> 00:04:34,129
I hadn't thought of that.
113
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,039
Who knows.
You might be right.
114
00:04:37,170 --> 00:04:39,290
That's what we are.
We are Benny Hill.
115
00:04:41,139 --> 00:04:43,189
No, you're right.
It's something that
I should think about.
116
00:04:43,209 --> 00:04:45,049
Yeah.
117
00:04:45,069 --> 00:04:47,249
You know,
I could play that part.
118
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,290
Of the, uh...
Sorry.
119
00:04:53,009 --> 00:04:55,229
Oh, god, I--
That was so...
Of the mermaid or...
120
00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:57,180
just presumptuous.
121
00:04:57,199 --> 00:04:59,019
It's okay.
Awkward position that I--
122
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,160
No, it's not.
I feel-- I feel really bad.
123
00:05:01,180 --> 00:05:03,000
I can't believe
that came out.
124
00:05:03,019 --> 00:05:04,999
I think you should do it,
and I'll tell you why.
125
00:05:05,019 --> 00:05:07,009
Why?
'Cause I'm never gonna be able
to talk hank into
126
00:05:07,029 --> 00:05:09,009
going up into that
Bed and Breakfast,
127
00:05:09,029 --> 00:05:10,219
but I think I have
a shot with you.
128
00:05:12,129 --> 00:05:14,039
Really?
Uh-huh.
129
00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:15,270
Good morning,
Oh great one!
130
00:05:15,290 --> 00:05:17,180
Are you talking
to me or my ass?
131
00:05:17,199 --> 00:05:20,189
All right, let's get
a camera in here!
The show's already starting!
132
00:05:20,209 --> 00:05:21,279
(door closes)
133
00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:26,200
On our show tonight, we will
have the lovely Daisy Fuentes.
134
00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:28,010
I like her.
135
00:05:28,029 --> 00:05:29,279
And afterward, we'll meet
136
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,180
with Vice President
of Entertainment, Roger Bingham,
137
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:35,159
along with several of
the national affiliate heads
138
00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:37,100
who will be stopping by
to press the flesh.
139
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,120
Is that drunk guy
from Chicago coming?
140
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:42,079
Ed Wallace? Heh. No.
141
00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:43,190
He doesn't drink anymore.
142
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:45,029
Oh, thank god.
143
00:05:45,050 --> 00:05:47,130
That guy really needed
to get that under control.
144
00:05:47,149 --> 00:05:50,209
No, I mean he stopped drinking
because fell into Lake Michigan
and drowned.
145
00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:53,130
Oh, god.
Which of the 12 steps is that?
146
00:05:53,149 --> 00:05:54,209
The last one.
147
00:05:54,230 --> 00:05:57,140
I mean, it's a shame because
we're doing the mermaid sketch
148
00:05:57,159 --> 00:05:59,019
and Ed always
chuckled at that one.
149
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,090
Yeah, by the way,
I asked Alex
150
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:03,090
to play the mermaid
in the sketch.
151
00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:05,160
Oh.
Yeah.
152
00:06:05,180 --> 00:06:09,060
Is that okay? I think
it's a little hipper that way.
153
00:06:09,079 --> 00:06:10,269
Hipper?
Yeah.
154
00:06:10,290 --> 00:06:13,010
Oh, I see.
155
00:06:13,029 --> 00:06:14,219
What's wrong?
156
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,250
Well, Hank always did
the mermaid sketch.
157
00:06:16,269 --> 00:06:18,099
Yeah, I know.
158
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,090
I know. But I think
this will be good.
159
00:06:20,110 --> 00:06:21,250
You do?
Yeah.
160
00:06:22,290 --> 00:06:24,080
Well, can she act?
161
00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:26,210
It's the mermaid sketch.
162
00:06:26,230 --> 00:06:29,010
Hey, buddy.
Wanna run lines?
163
00:06:29,029 --> 00:06:32,259
Listen, I gotta go work on
the monologue with Phil.
164
00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:35,039
Excuse me.
Okay.
165
00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:38,130
Well, I'm excited
about the sketch.
166
00:06:38,149 --> 00:06:41,089
You know, some of the other
sketches sometimes, you know,
167
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:45,070
they get a little broad,
but this mermaid sketch,
there's some good stuff in here.
168
00:06:45,090 --> 00:06:47,020
Well, you can stow
the costume, Hank,
169
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,250
because-- how can I put this?
--Alex will be doing
the mermaid.
170
00:06:50,269 --> 00:06:53,069
But I've always
played the mermaid.
171
00:06:53,090 --> 00:06:55,080
That's what I said,
but not this time.
172
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,040
People know me
as the mermaid.
173
00:06:57,060 --> 00:06:59,170
I know, but I'm sorry.
That's the way it is.
174
00:06:59,189 --> 00:07:01,189
Well, I think you're asking
for some big trouble here.
175
00:07:01,209 --> 00:07:02,199
Yeah, how so?
176
00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:05,190
Well, I--
I know people,
177
00:07:05,209 --> 00:07:07,159
and she is no mermaid.
Yeah?
178
00:07:07,180 --> 00:07:08,210
Yeah.
179
00:07:08,230 --> 00:07:11,030
And there is something
behind her eyes.
180
00:07:11,050 --> 00:07:13,080
That would be
her brain, Hank.
181
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:16,010
It's an organ that you may
not be familiar with.
182
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,000
Fuck.
183
00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:21,199
Fuck.
184
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,010
(applause)
185
00:07:28,199 --> 00:07:31,009
And now it's time for
186
00:07:31,029 --> 00:07:33,189
another episode of
"The Sailor and the Mermaid."
187
00:07:33,209 --> 00:07:36,229
Tonight the mermaid
will be played by
a lovely and talented lady
188
00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:38,000
instead of me.
189
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,090
In this episode,
190
00:07:40,110 --> 00:07:43,230
the sailor and the mermaid
discuss visiting the "fin-laws."
191
00:07:46,079 --> 00:07:48,019
I-- Well, honey,
what do you expect?
192
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:50,120
You married an octopus.
(laughter)
193
00:07:50,139 --> 00:07:51,289
He has eight arms.
194
00:07:53,029 --> 00:07:55,179
I know, well, just next time
cover your blowhole.
195
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,219
Larry:
Honey, I'm home.
196
00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,270
Oh, I hear the anchor
and chain. I gotta go.
197
00:08:02,129 --> 00:08:04,199
(cheering)
198
00:08:10,129 --> 00:08:12,049
This is really funny.
199
00:08:12,069 --> 00:08:15,109
You're probably wondering
why I'm not playing
the mermaid, right?
200
00:08:15,129 --> 00:08:16,149
Huh?
201
00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:17,280
Well, I am the mermaid.
202
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,100
Larry:
You look great.
Look what I got you.
203
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,190
Does Larry come back
after this?
204
00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:23,179
Oh, man. Look at that.
205
00:08:23,199 --> 00:08:24,249
I mean, look at her.
206
00:08:24,269 --> 00:08:27,279
I mean, do you really buy that
she has ever been underwater?
207
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,130
Huh? I don't.
208
00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:32,139
I'm sorry, I don't.
209
00:08:32,159 --> 00:08:34,179
Oh, not now, Captain Jack.
210
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,080
No, I'm just
not in the mood.
211
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:38,050
Honey, I've been
on a boat for six months.
212
00:08:38,070 --> 00:08:40,040
Just rocking
and rocking and rocking.
213
00:08:40,059 --> 00:08:42,009
Just with other--
with other men.
214
00:08:42,029 --> 00:08:43,109
It's just awful.
215
00:08:43,129 --> 00:08:46,179
There's-- There's-- One guy
was eaten by a whale.
216
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,160
Oh, those whales,
they can eat anything.
217
00:08:49,179 --> 00:08:52,109
They're so lucky.
And you don't hear people
standing around saying,
218
00:08:52,129 --> 00:08:53,999
"Look how fat
that whale got."
219
00:08:54,019 --> 00:08:55,169
(laughter)
220
00:08:55,190 --> 00:08:58,160
Alex, you were so funny.
What? Really?
221
00:08:58,179 --> 00:09:00,039
Yeah.
Oh, god, you think so?
222
00:09:00,059 --> 00:09:01,289
Yeah.
I was-- It was
so hard not to laugh.
223
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,289
I was, like,
looking at Larry.
No, no, you looked great.
224
00:09:04,009 --> 00:09:06,149
You were great.
You really were.
Oh, really? Thanks.
225
00:09:06,169 --> 00:09:08,099
Oh, you know what?
I was wondering,
226
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,140
do you think I could get
a video cassette of the show?
227
00:09:10,159 --> 00:09:11,259
Sure, that's no problem.
228
00:09:11,279 --> 00:09:13,229
I can have it ready
for you by the end of the week.
229
00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:15,240
I want--
Well, I wanted it tomorrow
230
00:09:15,259 --> 00:09:17,069
so I could give it
to my agent, you know.
231
00:09:19,049 --> 00:09:21,099
Oh, well,
that's no problem.
232
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,120
I can just have them
put a rush on it.
233
00:09:23,139 --> 00:09:25,259
Beverly, Larry is so lucky
to have someone like you.
234
00:09:25,279 --> 00:09:28,009
I'm telling you.
Do you mind?
235
00:09:34,210 --> 00:09:35,290
Hey.
Hey.
236
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:39,009
Is that the President of NBC
over there?
237
00:09:39,029 --> 00:09:40,089
Warren Littlefield?
238
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:42,180
Yeah. I'm hoping
he doesn't see me.
It's too late.
239
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,090
Hello, Larry.
Oh, Warren, hey.
240
00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:45,190
How you doing?
Good to see you.
241
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,230
I'm great.
Nice to see you.
242
00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:47,290
This is Alex Markham.
243
00:09:48,009 --> 00:09:49,069
Hi. Nice to meet you
Mr. Littlefield.
244
00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:50,260
Nice to meet you.
Hey, what are
you up to?
245
00:09:50,279 --> 00:09:53,119
I just thought
I'd come by, check out
the competition.
246
00:09:53,139 --> 00:09:55,049
Doesn't seem like
you have a lot to worry about.
247
00:09:55,070 --> 00:09:56,180
You're doing so well.
248
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,000
Is NBC doing well?
249
00:09:58,019 --> 00:09:59,109
We're keeping
the lights on.
250
00:09:59,129 --> 00:10:00,999
Good for you.
Good for you.
251
00:10:01,019 --> 00:10:02,269
You know,
Jay sends his best.
252
00:10:02,289 --> 00:10:04,209
Oh, listen, you tell
Jay, by the way,
253
00:10:04,230 --> 00:10:06,100
I love that new opening
where he charges out
254
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:07,280
and greets everybody,
shakes their hand.
255
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,170
Yeah, you do?
That was my idea.
256
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:10,190
It's still good.
257
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,290
Hey, Warren. Warren.
258
00:10:12,009 --> 00:10:13,119
Get the hell
away from Larry.
259
00:10:13,139 --> 00:10:14,209
Hey, Roger, how are you?
260
00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:15,220
I'm good, how are you?
261
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,080
Good, good.
Glad to hear it.
262
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:19,180
I was just telling
Warren here we're doing
a little counter-programming.
263
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,070
We've got a thing
called "Must-pee TV."
264
00:10:21,090 --> 00:10:22,200
Oh, funny.
265
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:24,240
Well-- Well,
good to see you,
266
00:10:24,259 --> 00:10:27,039
and I'll just say hi to some
of my other friends here.
267
00:10:27,059 --> 00:10:28,209
See you later.
268
00:10:28,230 --> 00:10:31,010
So, Larry, saw the network feed.
Show was good tonight.
269
00:10:31,029 --> 00:10:33,019
Good, thanks. Appreciate it.
I thought it was a good one too.
270
00:10:33,039 --> 00:10:36,029
Mm-hmm. Now do I recognize
the lovely mermaid?
271
00:10:36,049 --> 00:10:37,999
Yes, hi.
Hi.
272
00:10:38,019 --> 00:10:39,199
Alex Markham.
Alex Markham.
273
00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:42,070
Now, you were
really funny tonight.
274
00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:43,230
Alex:
Really? Thanks.
275
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:45,180
I guess that means
I get my own show.
276
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,040
(laughing)
277
00:10:47,059 --> 00:10:49,179
She can have mine
for ten bucks.
278
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,010
Now look, I was just going
over the numbers for our
meeting on Friday,
279
00:10:52,029 --> 00:10:55,159
and your demos in the major
markets are holding strong.
Good. Good.
280
00:10:55,179 --> 00:10:58,049
You know, there's always
a little room for improvement
in the Midwest,
281
00:10:58,070 --> 00:10:59,080
but we can discuss that.
282
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:01,120
So, I'll see you Friday.
All right.
283
00:11:01,139 --> 00:11:03,009
And it was
a pleasure to meet you.
284
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:04,129
Good night.
285
00:11:06,090 --> 00:11:07,270
Lot of people here.
Yeah, we're gonna
have to go.
286
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,250
I know. I'm just gonna
go to the ladies room, okay?
287
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,029
Okay. I'll see you.
Okay.
288
00:11:11,049 --> 00:11:12,059
You look so handsome.
Oh, thanks.
289
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,200
And then we're going.
We're going.
290
00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:14,260
You just...
291
00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:23,260
Larry and I are
very, very close.
292
00:11:23,279 --> 00:11:25,049
Larry...
293
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,240
You understand?
294
00:11:28,259 --> 00:11:32,239
That's a comfort that comes
from years and years
of working together.
295
00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:34,129
(laughing)
296
00:11:34,149 --> 00:11:37,009
No, I was nervous,
but you know what,
it was really fun.
297
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,289
But the costume was tight.
298
00:11:39,009 --> 00:11:41,189
I think I have bruises
up and down my hip.
299
00:11:41,210 --> 00:11:42,270
You're suffering
for your art.
300
00:11:42,289 --> 00:11:43,999
Yes, I'm suffering.
301
00:11:44,019 --> 00:11:46,069
But you were really,
really funny tonight.
302
00:11:46,090 --> 00:11:47,180
Really?
Yeah. Yeah.
303
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,170
Thank you.
That means a lot.
304
00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:51,070
Does it?
Yeah, it's--
305
00:11:51,090 --> 00:11:53,230
Yeah, you know,
we have a lot of projects
coming up this fall,
306
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:55,260
and I think I'll
keep my eyes open.
307
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:57,099
There might be
something for you.
308
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,210
Wow. That's--
That would be really great.
309
00:11:59,230 --> 00:12:01,180
You know?
Yeah. Do you have an agent?
310
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,100
Yeah. Um...
311
00:12:05,149 --> 00:12:07,139
What?
But it's--
Well, I'm just thinking,
312
00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:10,059
um, you know, I'm gonna
give you a number.
313
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,220
And this is just
easier to call me there.
314
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,110
Okay, great. Good.
That's great.
315
00:12:14,129 --> 00:12:15,159
That's even better.
316
00:12:15,179 --> 00:12:17,269
Okay, here. Thanks.
I'll call you.
317
00:12:17,289 --> 00:12:20,159
Okay, good.
Yeah, all right.
318
00:12:20,179 --> 00:12:22,119
Night.
Okay. Good night.
319
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:30,000
Alex.
Arthur, hi.
320
00:12:30,019 --> 00:12:31,059
Larry's looking for you.
321
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,120
Oh, okay.
322
00:12:32,139 --> 00:12:35,089
Um, I was--
I just ran into Roger again.
323
00:12:35,110 --> 00:12:38,020
I was giving him
my masseuse's phone number,
324
00:12:38,039 --> 00:12:40,049
'cause he said he had
some trouble with his neck.
325
00:12:40,070 --> 00:12:42,280
Oh. How sweet.
326
00:12:48,210 --> 00:12:50,070
Oh, did Beverly
give you that tape?
327
00:12:50,090 --> 00:12:51,260
Mm-hmm. It's in the car.
328
00:12:51,279 --> 00:12:53,149
Oh, really?
Yeah. I got it.
329
00:12:53,169 --> 00:12:54,179
Looks good.
330
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,040
I think the sketch
went pretty well,
331
00:12:56,059 --> 00:12:58,169
you know, do you?
Really good.
You were hilarious in it.
332
00:12:58,190 --> 00:13:00,030
You think so?
I gotta tell you
the best part.
333
00:13:00,049 --> 00:13:01,209
What?
It really pissed off Hank.
334
00:13:01,230 --> 00:13:03,110
Oh. Oh, no.
I gotta be honest with you.
335
00:13:03,129 --> 00:13:05,109
That wasn't
my main motivation,
336
00:13:05,129 --> 00:13:07,229
but you know, it's kind of
like icing on the cake.
But you enjoyed it.
337
00:13:07,250 --> 00:13:09,130
Well, I'm really
glad you got it,
338
00:13:09,149 --> 00:13:12,059
because I need to get it
over to my agent before
I go to San Francisco.
339
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,240
When are you going
to San Francisco?
340
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,179
Mm-hmm.
Next week I'm going.
341
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,270
Really?
342
00:13:16,289 --> 00:13:18,049
Network affiliate thing.
343
00:13:22,179 --> 00:13:24,119
Roger Bingham invited me.
You're going to that?
344
00:13:24,139 --> 00:13:25,159
Yeah.
345
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,059
Roger Bingham
invited you?
Yeah.
346
00:13:28,269 --> 00:13:31,009
Oh, that'll be fun.
Larry.
347
00:13:31,029 --> 00:13:33,259
I'm-- It's business,
you know. I mean...
348
00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:35,199
it's a big chance
for me, don't you think?
349
00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:38,090
Yeah, you're right.
You're absolutely right.
350
00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:41,240
And so should I
come over later?
You want me to...
351
00:13:41,259 --> 00:13:43,229
Well, you know,
I should, um--
352
00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:46,130
I should go get
that tape now.
353
00:13:46,149 --> 00:13:49,009
We love the new set.
It's testing great in all
the primary markets.
354
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:50,239
Oh, good, good. Good.
355
00:13:50,259 --> 00:13:52,199
I think this testing thing's
a little overrated.
356
00:13:52,220 --> 00:13:54,240
Well, what-- Roger's
trying to say
357
00:13:54,259 --> 00:13:57,039
that there's no greater test
than the whole market,
358
00:13:57,059 --> 00:13:58,159
and they love Larry.
359
00:13:58,179 --> 00:14:00,219
Of course they do.
But, Larry, as I mentioned
to you the other day,
360
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,140
Your numbers in the Midwest
are a little soft,
361
00:14:02,159 --> 00:14:05,089
but the good news is--
Well, that's 'cause they have
a lot of twisters there.
362
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:06,290
(laughing)
363
00:14:07,009 --> 00:14:09,169
You got shit flying around,
you're not gonna be watching TV.
364
00:14:10,259 --> 00:14:12,069
Let's move on
to something more pressing.
365
00:14:12,090 --> 00:14:14,030
Let's spend a moment
with the budget.
366
00:14:14,049 --> 00:14:15,269
Our testing's showing
we need more money.
367
00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:18,089
Look, I'm really a fan.
Give me a couple days
368
00:14:18,110 --> 00:14:20,030
and I'll do what I can
with the budget.
369
00:14:20,049 --> 00:14:21,209
But let me tell you something.
370
00:14:21,230 --> 00:14:23,120
The mermaid sketch,
you were very funny.
371
00:14:23,139 --> 00:14:25,289
Oh.
You're very, very funny.
372
00:14:26,009 --> 00:14:27,169
There was a lot of buzz
in the office about it.
373
00:14:27,190 --> 00:14:30,220
And you know,
I'd like to see a little more
of Alex in the show.
374
00:14:33,059 --> 00:14:35,009
The, uh-- Sure.
375
00:14:35,029 --> 00:14:38,199
The-- Yeah. She brings
a real feminine, female
energy to the show
376
00:14:38,220 --> 00:14:40,010
that it really needs.
377
00:14:40,029 --> 00:14:42,199
And, you know,
it's much hipper to have
a woman in that role.
378
00:14:42,220 --> 00:14:44,070
Mm-hmm. Really?
379
00:14:44,090 --> 00:14:46,010
Well, yeah, plus,
she's fresh. She's exciting.
380
00:14:46,029 --> 00:14:47,119
You know, let's face it,
she's very sexy.
381
00:14:47,139 --> 00:14:48,179
Is that your thought, or...
382
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,290
All right,
wonderful meeting here!
383
00:14:51,009 --> 00:14:52,999
Whose thought--
Whose thought is that?
And-- Yes.
384
00:14:53,019 --> 00:14:54,269
Well, we all kind of
came up with it
at the same time.
385
00:14:54,289 --> 00:14:57,009
You're saying
it's not your thought?
386
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:58,259
If you want me to take
credit for it, I'd be happy to.
387
00:14:58,279 --> 00:15:01,029
I think it's a good idea.
I'm just saying I think
it's a good idea.
388
00:15:01,049 --> 00:15:02,049
Yeah.
That's all.
389
00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:03,170
Yeah.
Here we go. Let's go.
390
00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:04,240
You oughtta have
that suit tested.
391
00:15:04,259 --> 00:15:06,289
Yeah. (laughs)
392
00:15:08,059 --> 00:15:09,179
We'll see you at Morton's.
393
00:15:15,159 --> 00:15:17,019
I want you to call
Richard Germaine,
394
00:15:17,039 --> 00:15:18,239
and you tell him
to get rid of fucking Bingham
395
00:15:18,259 --> 00:15:20,099
or I'm taking the show
to another network.
396
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,140
Gotcha.
397
00:15:21,159 --> 00:15:23,069
That's a call
I should make, yeah?
398
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:26,000
No, no, no. You'll end up
saying something you regret.
399
00:15:26,019 --> 00:15:27,129
I'll do it.
400
00:15:27,149 --> 00:15:28,179
Artie.
401
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,010
What happened
in that meeting?
402
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:32,199
Slap on your shell bra,
little mermaid,
403
00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:34,100
you're back in business.
404
00:15:38,259 --> 00:15:39,279
Hi.
Hi.
405
00:15:46,149 --> 00:15:48,209
Look, if you don't want me
to go to San Francisco, Larry,
406
00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:50,110
I'm just not gonna go.
407
00:15:50,129 --> 00:15:53,169
Well, you know, that's not
a decision I would make for you.
408
00:15:53,190 --> 00:15:55,230
That's a decision you have
to make on your own.
409
00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:59,140
I know. Thank you.
410
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:02,029
Well, I'm not gonna go. So...
411
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:04,049
Really?
412
00:16:04,070 --> 00:16:05,160
Yeah, really.
Really?
413
00:16:05,179 --> 00:16:07,209
Why would I go? I won't
have any fun without you.
414
00:16:10,029 --> 00:16:11,079
Everything's okay?
415
00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:13,090
Hmm?
416
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,240
I missed you today.
417
00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:21,060
You know, San Francisco's
really, uh...
418
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,090
very nice. It's very--
Is it?
419
00:16:23,110 --> 00:16:24,280
Yeah.
Maybe you'll
take me sometime.
420
00:16:35,179 --> 00:16:38,239
So, do you think we're gonna
do that mermaid sketch again?
421
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,290
I don't-- I don't know.
422
00:16:46,149 --> 00:16:48,069
I don't know
if there's...
423
00:16:51,279 --> 00:16:53,279
You know,
we space 'em out.
424
00:16:55,279 --> 00:16:57,029
Oh, okay.
425
00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:58,209
Probably. In a while.
426
00:16:58,230 --> 00:16:59,290
In a while.
Yeah.
427
00:17:00,009 --> 00:17:01,179
How-- How long is that?
428
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,110
A while?
I don't know.
429
00:17:03,129 --> 00:17:05,189
I don't know.
Couple months, maybe.
430
00:17:07,150 --> 00:17:09,210
You don't care about
my career at all, do you?
431
00:17:09,230 --> 00:17:12,190
You know, you...
432
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:13,220
I don't get it.
433
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,110
I am so confused.
434
00:17:15,130 --> 00:17:17,140
I happen to be
in love with you.
435
00:17:19,109 --> 00:17:21,139
And, uh, I'm confused.
436
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,220
Oh... shit.
437
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,250
You know, I think
maybe we should...
438
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,259
take a little break.
Yeah.
439
00:17:28,279 --> 00:17:30,199
Maybe we should
take a little break.
440
00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:35,170
I think I've been
really supportive.
441
00:17:35,190 --> 00:17:37,050
I think I've been
really there for you.
442
00:17:40,230 --> 00:17:42,160
(scoffs) Right.
443
00:17:56,069 --> 00:17:57,999
How's it going, Hoss?
Good.
444
00:17:58,019 --> 00:17:59,209
It's all coming together.
445
00:17:59,230 --> 00:18:01,080
(chuckles)
446
00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:03,229
I know you've had
a bad day, ol' girl,
447
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,140
but take a look at this.
448
00:18:07,039 --> 00:18:11,059
"Network grooms Jon Stewart
to replace Sanders."
449
00:18:11,079 --> 00:18:12,169
The fuck is this?
450
00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:14,090
Roger Bingham's
behind all this.
451
00:18:14,109 --> 00:18:15,279
What a sack
of shit he is.
452
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,020
And now he's trying
to fuck the show.
453
00:18:18,039 --> 00:18:20,209
Well, I'll take
care of it.
454
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,200
Yeah.
I just want you
to remember one thing.
455
00:18:25,029 --> 00:18:27,009
This is your true love.
456
00:18:27,029 --> 00:18:29,209
Every night
the show is here for you.
457
00:18:29,230 --> 00:18:31,080
Everything else
is bullshit.
458
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:35,089
I can't lose
this show, Artie.
459
00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:42,019
I'm gonna put
Jon Stewart in there
if it's the last thing I do.
460
00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:44,259
I don't know, I'd be careful.
Larry's really smart.
461
00:18:44,279 --> 00:18:48,029
If Larry wants a war,
he'll get a war.
462
00:18:48,049 --> 00:18:49,219
Arthur.
463
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,010
This is a surprise.
464
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:52,079
It's not a surprise
to me, Roger.
465
00:18:52,099 --> 00:18:54,019
You're traveling down
a very dangerous road.
466
00:18:54,039 --> 00:18:55,169
You better reconsider
before it's too late.
467
00:18:55,190 --> 00:18:58,130
Arthur, I'm--
Don't speak, or your fish
will get very cold.
468
00:18:58,150 --> 00:18:59,160
Bye-bye.
469
00:19:02,269 --> 00:19:04,249
That was dramatic.
Yeah. (chuckles)
470
00:19:05,289 --> 00:19:06,289
Weird.
471
00:19:08,170 --> 00:19:09,250
Larry on TV:
You were in Hawaii, right?
472
00:19:09,269 --> 00:19:11,199
Jeff Foxworthy:
Well, we were just
vacationed out there.
473
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:13,240
I got to the point
doing stand-up
474
00:19:13,259 --> 00:19:15,249
I had, like, three million
frequent-flyer miles.
475
00:19:15,269 --> 00:19:17,139
And so I cashed 'em in.
476
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,180
It's true.
Three million.
477
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:22,040
I took everybody in my family
to Hawaii...
478
00:19:22,059 --> 00:19:25,259
thinking it was gonna be
the vacation of a lifetime.
479
00:19:25,279 --> 00:19:29,059
It ended up being
the Clampetts go to Maui.
480
00:19:31,180 --> 00:19:33,080
'Cause you get
my family together,
481
00:19:33,099 --> 00:19:36,049
there is an empty
Kmart somewhere.
482
00:19:36,069 --> 00:19:37,069
(chuckles)
483
00:19:39,230 --> 00:19:41,060
They show up
at the airport.
484
00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:43,219
They're using coolers
and grocery bags
485
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,220
for luggage.
Yeah.
486
00:19:47,029 --> 00:19:49,049
The skycap was like,
"Which one's yours,
the Samsonite?"
487
00:19:49,069 --> 00:19:52,269
They were like,
"No, we got the Igloo
with the duct tape on it,
488
00:19:52,289 --> 00:19:55,079
"and the five Piggly Wiggly
bags right there."
489
00:19:59,099 --> 00:20:00,179
(TV turns off)
490
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,150
(sighs)
491
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,170
Hey, hear this.
The funny thing on the plane,
492
00:20:18,190 --> 00:20:20,060
the movie that
they were showing
493
00:20:20,079 --> 00:20:23,109
was "Homeward Bound:
The Incredible Journey."
494
00:20:23,130 --> 00:20:25,030
Five minutes into the movie,
495
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:26,169
my brother leans over
and goes,
496
00:20:26,190 --> 00:20:29,010
"You know, that ain't
them dogs' real voice."
497
00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:37,099
That is--
That's a long trip, isn't it?
498
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:39,169
Well, my sister got mad.
You know,
499
00:20:39,190 --> 00:20:41,230
"Thanks for spoiling it
for everybody else."
500
00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:43,130
(laughs)
501
00:20:44,180 --> 00:20:49,140
(theme music playing)
36771
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