Original subtitles

(bright music)

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

- Can I have a shot please?

Hi Sam.

- Hi Bobby, what's going on?

You look awful.

- Let me tell you but, let me get my shot first.

Thanks.

So, I know these girls, they're telling me

all the things I don't want to hear.

Thanks.

They're bitching all the time.

- So, Saturday I went out to my usual place as normal.

And I met someone.

- And?

- Well she's drop dead gorgeous right?

I was just thinking all right this is it.

We started kissing.

- Yes, and?

- She let me kiss her neck down to here,

and you know how I love that right?

- I know. - So we went back to her place.

- And?

Details.

Come on? - All right, I lost it twice before we even made it, okay?

It was like, amazing. - Yes.

- So I'm thinking like she's the one, right?

- Yeah, of course.

- Well everything was great and I had to go,

so I told her I'd meet her the next day at the coffee shop,

right? - Uh-huh.

- So I walk in, and I'm like really excited.

- What happened?

- (giggling) You aren't going to believe it.

I walk in, she's wearing socks with crocs.

- Oh my god!

- Can you believe it? - That's disgusting.

- I was like okay, that's it.

- Yeah, yeah, of course.

- I don't know, I just,

I'd like to find someone like me, I don't know.

- Well, that's true.

Keep trying.

(glasses clinking) - Cheers to that.

But in the meantime, good sex!!

- Yeah.

Want some more?

- I'm good, thank you.

- Okay now, tell me.

- So check this out, I meet this girl

and she's the sexiest thing on Earth.

- Of course she is.

- Of course she is, beautiful, and she has these toes.

- (laughing) The toe thing.

Yes, go on.

- You know how I feel about toes.

These are like lollipops.

Each one of them just this,

but.

- What? - She's a white supremacist.

So, there goes that.

- That sucks.

- I'm just so tired of dating people who aren't like me.

Oh, thank you. - Thank you.

Yeah it looks good.

- Looks very pretty too.

- Dig in. - Let's do it.

- Tab please.

- [Bartender] Yeah that'll be $10.

Thanks man.

(light music)

- Bobby, how's it going?

- Same old, same old.

- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Have you thought of just fixing them up?

- That's a good idea.

I should do that.

Okay.

(all laughing)

- You're crazy, you know that?

- I know. Anyway, and he was not kidding.

Oh my God, I have to leave.

I'm sorry, I have an interview.

- Oh. - Yes.

I'm sure you girls will have a good time.

- Well all the best, break a leg.

- I'll see you later.

Good luck.

Okay. - Good luck.

- You'll be amazing.

I love him. - I know, me too.

(both laughing)

- So what do you do?

- Well I work in Napa at a winery.

I handle all of the events and the wine club.

- It sounds interesting.

- It is.

What do you do?

- Oh, I'm a coder.

A developer, I build mobile apps, websites.

- Oh okay.

- Computer work.

- Are you a gamer?

- Where did you go to college?

- Um, I went to UC Santa Barbara.

I absolutely loved it, it's a wonderful university.

- So you have debt?

- (chuckling) Yeah, the average 30,000.

What about you?

- I studied in Argentina.

Education there is free, so no.

- Oh, how is the education?

- Oh it's fantastic, some of the best in the world.

Well, I'm a Republican.

- I'm a Democrat.

I like dogs.

- I love dogs.

Do you have a dog?

- No, I wish.

Um you know, I live alone,

and I just couldn't imagine leaving a dog

at my house by itself all day.

- No, I understand, yeah.

- But I wish.

- Yeah.

- What about you?

- No, I don't have one either, but I have a daughter.

- You do, how old is she?

- She's 16.

- Oh 16, she already started that teenage like eye rolling.

- Oh my gosh, all the time.

But she's wonderful.

Would you like to meet her?

- Oh, I would love that.

- Really? - Yeah.

- How's tomorrow?

- (giggling) Tomorrow?

Tomorrow's great.

- Awesome.

Nice to finally meet you.

- Ditto. (glasses clinking)

- Why do you even bother,

it's not like any of them have been sane?

- Well you have to keep trying right?

If you want to find the good one,

you're going to have to,

you know there has to be a good one.

I'm cool, right? - Yeah,

you would think you would might have found one

in the last 50.

- 50, 50, whatever.

And this one, she's Bobby's friend so she has to be nice.

Can you just help me out already?

(both sighing)

I'm sweating.

(light music) (Liz grunting)

- Yeah!

(Liz collapsing)

Gotta get on.

Oh, no.

(Liz groaning)

- [Jane] Wow this sunset is gorgeous.

- [Liz] It's amazing how the sun kisses the rocks.

- [Jane] I wouldn't mind kissing your lips.

- [Liz] (giggling) Over there?

- [Jane] Yes, that's good.

- Is she gonna be okay? - Yes, she's gonna be fine

(both laughing) (soft music)

Here's good.

- A seat for my queen.

- Thank You.

Give me your hand.

(romantic music)

- Can I go farther down the beach to look for seashells?

- [Jane] Yes, just make sure I can see you.

- Yeah yeah.

- Isn't she a ray of sunshine?

- Just like her mother.

(both laughing)

- Thank you for being so understanding of my daughter.

- Hey, I want you.

I'll take whatever comes with it.

(soft music)

Uh, anything but that.

Please.

- Okay.

- What the hell is wrong with this beach?

- Ray of sunshine.

- Where's my shit ton of stones?

Can we go?

- I guess we better go (laughing).

- Sure.

- All right Lindsay, let's go.

- Shoot. - Yeah,

so Jane's amazing.

I mean she's like, she's perfect in so many ways.

- So she's the right one?

- Yeah I think so, but,

you know, I don't know, we we went out with her daughter,

Lindsay, and we're walking down the beach,

and we're holding hands and everything's perfect, right?

- Yeah, yeah.

- So Lindsay goes off to play and we sit down.

And we.

- No, come on you didn't. - We had our first kiss.

We did, it was beautiful.

So we kissed, and it was magical,

and then you know how I love to kiss down the neck.

And so I touch her neck, and she like freaks out.

I mean I don't even know what I did, but I just,

I don't know, she just started to freak out

and then of course Lindsay came back.

It was kind of over. So I don't know.

She's wonderful, and then she's not.

- Maybe you just try to kiss her on the mouth.

- Yeah, yeah that's what she said.

(Bobby laughing)

So we'll see, we'll see,

but you know I love spending time with her.

She makes me laugh and she makes me smile

and I'm happy.

- Well that's good.

- She is wonderful.

- I told you.

- Yes, and beautiful.

- Yes.

- We had our first date.

- Mm hm, and?

- We were on the beach.

I felt like a kid.

Lindsay was there.

We were holding hands, it was the perfect sunset.

- Okay.

- We go, and we have a seat,

- Uh huh.

- And we had our first kiss.

It was like electricity.

- Yes?

- Until she went to my neck.

Like a vampire!

(dramatic music)

- Get over it. - It's gross!

- You want to have sex with her?

- Yeah. - Let her kiss you in different places.

Like start with your arms, work your way all the way up,

then maybe on the cheek, and then.

- No, no.

No.

- You'll be fine.

- No, it's not gonna happen. - Just try.

It's not gonna happen.

- Come on. - Not the neck, not the neck.

- I can't help you.

- Thank you so much for having me here for dinner.

- My pleasure.

- And such a beautiful place, and what a view.

- It is beautiful isn't it?

(soft music)

- Just like the host.

Beautiful company, wonderful food, an amazing place.

- And, I got you a gift.

- You didn't.

- I did.

Don't go anywhere.

- Of course not.

(light music)

- Well. - I didn't have time

to stop by the flower shop, so.

- They're beautiful.

- I hope you like it.

- I'm sure I will.

- You like it?

- I love it.

I'm gonna go try it on.

(bright music)

- Oh my gosh!

Oh my, you look beautiful.

- Well you know my personal designer got it for me.

- You look so sexy.

- But you're still dressed.

- Uh-huh.

- Okay, well.

Oh.

Let's just... - No!

Oh, no. This one stays here.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

- Oh.

Okay. - Oh.

(Jane moaning) (bright music)

It was so good.

Ah.

That was quick.

It was so good.

(upbeat music)

I need to go to the bathroom.

- Great.

Jane?

- So how's it going with Jane?

- It's going well.

Uh, yeah (giggling).

- That well? - Uh huh.

Well she invited me over for dinner,

and Lindsay was at her father's.

But you know I didn't just assume,

I went there open-minded, whatever was gonna happen.

But then she got me a gift.

- Uh huh. - And the gift was this beautiful, silky lingerie.

And then I was like uh huh, I knew exactly what that meant.

So I went to the restroom, I changed, and I came out.

I was kind of strutting my stuff, I got into bed,

and then, boom, she went.

(Liz laughing) - What do you mean?

- She just orgasmed right there,

left me in the dust.

- Okay, so?

- So that was it.

She got up and she left.

And I'm like sitting there alone on the bed going uh hello?

- So she was loaded.

- Yeah, but what about me?

I mean, don't I get some attention too?

- Of course.

- I mean I was so hot, I was putting on that lingerie,

and I knew she was there waiting for me,

and I was ready, and then she just left me.

I don't know.

- Maybe you should try more often, I mean more sex.

- Oh.

Yeah maybe she didn't have it for a long time, and she just.

- Right.

- That's a good idea.

All right.

To more sex. (glasses clinking) - To more sex.

- Ooh (laughing).

- That gets better and better.

- So you like Liz?

- Yes, very much.

And? - I invite her

over to my house.

- Mm hm. - And I cooked dinner for her and I got her a gift

that looked so sexy on her,

so hot.

- Yes?

- We go to the bedroom.

I don't think she's romantic enough.

She goes straight to it.

(funky music)

Like straight to it.

- Maybe you try the feet thing with her.

- Oh.

Yeah.

- See? - Yeah.

Yes (screaming).

Keep that down.

Let's keep that down.

Come here, get here.

Come on, you can still get in.

Just keep that down.

Let's just keep that down.

Thanks. - Wait. - Oh (giggling).

(both clamoring)

- [Liz] Oh there you are.

- Oh.

Oh.

Ah, feet.

- Oh. - Ow!

Ow.

- [Liz] I'm sorry babe.

I'm sorry, just not the socks.

Not the socks.

I'm very sorry. - It's okay.

That's better. - Oh.

- Ah, much better.

(Jane moaning).

That was much better.

(bright music)

- Did you just?

- Ah shit.

Oh.

Oh, sorry baby.

Okay, I got this.

Yes, let's do this.

(Liz panting)

(Liz laughing)

Okay, I gotta go get my daughter.

- Okay.

(bright music)

You okay? - Yeah, yes, great.

Oh!

Uh oh. (Liz laughing)

- Do you need some help?

- No, this is, it's good right?

It's good, uh huh.

It's good.

Yeah, very good (laughing).

(upbeat music)

Yes.

- Okay, darling.

(energetic music)

Ooh yeah.

Holy hell.

(tense music)

Where did it go?

- What the fuck is this?

What are you?

- I'm stuck. - What is is? - [Liz] Can you get me out of here?

Hey?

Hey? - What the fuck?

What is this? - Hey.

Jane? - What is? - [Liz] Get me out of here.

- Oh my gosh.

Is this how unsatisfied you are with me?

- [Liz] No, listen Jane.

- Oh. - It's not that.

- Do you really need to use this?

Is this?

- Maybe if you show me some tits sometimes,

I'd be able to get off.

But right now, just get me out of here.

- Oh, this is so sad.

How do you even use this?

- Oh, I'd love to show you.

- This is, oh shit, she's coming.

She is coming. - Who's coming?

- Lindsay's coming.

Her dad is bringing her. - Get me out!

- Get out of there, inch lift.

Come on, get out of there.

- Ow! - Get out of there. - Ow, ow, ow.

- Are you okay?

Oh my God!

Do you really have to use this?

- Yeah I do.

- Those are nice ones.

(Liz laughing)

(energetic music)

(both laughing)

- Oh god.

- My daughter!

Oh!

- Oh sweetie.

Ah, this isn't working.

- Maybe we need some help.

- I think we need some help.

- Hello, welcome and welcome.

My name is Jimmy Blue.

My friends, they call me Gym, like the gym.

What is your name?

- I'm Jane. - Hello Jane, welcome.

- Thank you. Hi.

- And what is your name?

- Hello, I'm Liz.

- Hello Liz.

So which one of you, um, is the guy?

Okay, neither.

Okay.

Let's pretend this is the pink doll

and this is the blue doll.

Now Jane, you will be the blue doll.

And Liz, you will be the pink doll.

We will, when we work, we will work through these dolls.

What I like to do is work individually, together.

And start soon.

- Okay. - Okay.

- That's about it.

(upbeat music)

Okay.

Get out.

I got shit to do.

You got something on you.

I just don't want you to be dirty.

- I don't like it when somebody touches my neck,

let alone licking it.

- That's not a problem.

We'll take care of that right away.

You want the problem to be gone?

- Yes.

- Okay.

Are you ready?

- Yes.

- Okay, all right, stay still.

Here we go.

- What is that?

- It's soothing neck rub.

- It feels. - It will take away

all your worries. - It feels weird.

It feels.

(Jane gagging)

It's itching.

It's itching.

- Now, you want me to take it off?

- Yes! Yes.

- Do you want me to take it off?

- Yes! - The only way

I can take it off is if I lick it off.

- No, no, no.

- You want me to lick it off?

- No, no.

- Do you want it off?

- Yes, yes. - Then I'll lick it off.

- No! Okay!

- All right. - It's itching! - Tilt your head back.

Mm.

- Oh.

- How is that?

- It works.

It's magic.

Wait, why is your tongue not itching?

- Well, it only last for a while.

(funky music) - Uh.

What?

- Hey.

- Sorry I'm late.

You have no idea, my day has been so crazy.

Thank you.

So what's going on?

- Terrible, terrible day.

Liz won't let me look at her toes.

She won't, she's wearing socks all the time.

Like all the time.

- Well have you showed her some?

- Oh my gosh, you're naked.

- Yeah I was with my boyfriend and then I had to leave,

and now I'm here, and really I was hoping for a good time.

(both sighing)

So anyway, how are you?

- Well except for this and all the types of socks,

she wears socks in the shower.

Who does that?

Socks in the shower?

- Why are you wearing this?

This is crazy.

- It's good for the relationship.

Dr. Blue said I have to try this.

- Jane, that won't solve your problems.

- I just have to give it a try.

- No really, I'm in a hurry, I need to leave.

- No, we're just getting started.

- No, no.

Really, not today.

Not today. - Oh, Bobby.

- No. - Oh.

- [Bobby] Honey, I love you.

- I love you too.

- Welcome back Liz.

How's your orgasms?

- Well thank, you, and um,

you know they're just fine by myself.

I don't know, I try it with Jane and it just doesn't work.

I'm not exactly sure why.

- We're gonna have to fix that

because you deserve orgasms.

- Why, thank you.

- Good.

Now why do you always wear socks on your feet?

- Um, I'm just a little bit shy about my feet that's all.

- Shy about your feet?

- Yeah.

- Oh.

Take them off.

- No.

- What?

- No, I'm not taking my socks off.

- Take your socks off!

- No! - Take 'em off now!

- No!

Try something else, I'm not gonna take off my socks!

- You want me to take your socks off?

- No, I do not want you to take my socks off. - I will take your socks off.

- No. - I will,

I will take your socks off. - No, don't you dare!

- Yes I will take these socks off.

I will take your socks off, come here.

Yes I will, Liz.

Yes I will.

I am not kidding, I will get these socks.

- Help.

- Yes, I will get

these socks. - No! Let go of my socks.

Let go of my socks, no!

No, no, no!

(both screaming)

- Wow!

Okay Liz.

That's okay.

Keep 'em on.

Put your socks back on.

(upbeat music)

Ugh.

(Liz vocalizing)

- Boom.

(Liz vocalizing)

Boom! (both laughing)

What do you think?

- It matches my dress.

- It does, look we're color coordinated.

Boing! (both laughing)

- Shouldn't it stay up?

- I don't know but feel it, feel it.

It's all squishy.

- Can you feel it?

(both laughing)

- Oh, sweetie.

All right, roll over and bend over, darlin'.

- Sure captain, let's do this.

Oh, okay.

- We'll see how this works here.

- All right, let's try it, let's figure it out.

Alrighty.

- No, it stays, it stays.

- Oh, okay (laughing).

- I got this, I got this.

- Alrighty.

All right.

That's funny that they're color coordinated.

- Yep. (bright music)

- All right.

- Yes, let's try this.

- All right.

Yee haw, let's get going here.

Yee haw!

- Maybe some oil would be better?

Just, oh!

No, no, no, I'm not going there.

Not going there.

Uh uh. No no.

- Okay, okay.

- Good.

- Alrighty, um.

- I'm not sure about this.

- Okay.

- She shows up with all this equipment.

And she wants to use it.

From behind!

- Of course. - In what world?

- What do you think we are doing, my man and I?

- I don't want to think what you're doing, your man and you.

(Bobby sighing) - Listen, and I don't want to hear what you are doing

or not doing.

- Oh, Bobby.

- Really, no.

No, this is getting over my top.

I have my own problems, can't you see?

- You do?

(light music)

She won't take her socks off.

- Hmm.

Have you loosened up your ass yet?

Never mind!

Let's get started. Turn around.

All right, hands on your hip.

Squat, thrust,

squat, thrust, squat, thrust, squat thrust.

You got it, you got it?

- Maybe you're going too fast.

Oh, I can figure it out.

- No you can't just figure it out.

- How far do I go?

- Keep going.

- Oh! - Go!

(light music)

- Is that okay?

Why are we even doing this?

I don't even like butt play.

- All right, all right.

We'll stop the squatting.

Put your hat on. - Oh.

- All right, you ready to take off your clothes yet?

- No, I don't want to take 'em,

ow! - Leave the hat on.

Now, I am going to take off your clothes.

- [Jane] Okay fuck it, just do it!

- Okay, turn around.

This is for your own good.

Good therapy.

Jane, you are too attached to clothing.

Here we go.

How's that?

(Jane sighing)

Exactly!

I've been trying to relax your ass.

- Oh.

I'm still not doing anal though.

- Oh.

Hi, Liz.

- Hello.

- Welcome back.

- Thank you.

- Okay, you remember the pink doll?

- Mm hm. - I gave you the pink doll

because your cheeks are so pink and pretty.

- Aw, thank you.

- We're gonna be working with the pink doll

and so we're gonna work through this doll

to release your orgasms,

because you have a lot of orgasms backed up.

- Okay.

- Are you ready?

- Sure.

- Okay, the first thing we're gonna do

is loosen up your legs.

I mean they're all tied up, stretch them out.

- Okay. - Okay.

Very good, and just open them up just a little bit, like.

Yes.

All right.

Now put your hands in a prayer position.

Like that. And I want you to cross your thumbs over each other.

Like that. That's right. - Okay.

- And press your hands together tight.

I want you to take your prayer and turn your hands down

into your orgasm area right here.

Okay, can you do that?

And then I want you to close up your legs

tightly.

Okay.

As tight as you can.

How does that feel?

- Uh, okay.

- Okay, let's try something else.

(upbeat music) I want you to take your left leg

and turn it into a V.

Can you do that?

Very good.

You're limber, Liz.

Okay, oh, no, no, no, no, your hands (clapping),

your hands.

- Okay. - Cross the thumbs.

Oh my goodness.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Yeah.

Liz, it's sacred.

Okay, now take your praying hands and put 'em

between your orgasm area

and push in.

And I want you to bend forward and back three times.

And on the third time,

I want you to quickly look to your left, okay?

- Okay. - You got it?

- All right. - You ready? - Yeah. - Go.

One,

two,

three, left Liz.

(Liz moaning)

(Liz laughing)

Liz (clapping), keep them there.

- That was amazing!

- I know.

Very good. You want to try some more?

- Yeah. - Exciting? - Yeah!

- [Gym] And a little dangerous.

- (giggling) Sure.

- Okay, you ready?

Grab your pigtails.

Okay.

And I want you to crisscross 'em.

Cross 'em under your chin.

Under your chin.

- Okay? - And then a little bit on your throat.

This is gonna be something a little dangerous, okay?

- Okay. - But it's gonna work.

Okay, now pull 'em tighter.

A little bit tighter, and slowly just pull them tighter,

as tight as you can take.

Tighter, Liz!

Come on. (Liz panting)

(Liz laughing)

- Oh my God.

- I know.

I know.

That's called crisscross applesauce.

Don't tell anybody.

Okay, get out.

(Liz chuckling) Bye bye.

Bye bye.

- Okay.

- Huh, so much to do.

- Hey, you're still alive?

- Yeah.

- Yeah what?

You know, you made me rush over

and I got makeup all over my dress.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Sorry, fuck you.

- I think I love Jane.

- Oh, you love Jane.

And?

- And

do you like toys?

- I do. - I like toys.

Jane does not like toys.

- Oh these kind of toys.

Well, why don't you grow up?

- You know she's been wearing scarves lately.

- So?

- She wears scarves because if she itches,

then I get to kiss it (laughing).

Itch and stairs.

We're seeing a therapist.

- Oh.

- She told Jane that if she wears itchy scarves,

then I can kiss it (laughing).

You know what else?

- What else?

- She made me orgasm in like 10 seconds.

- Good, good for you.

How much did you drink anyways?

- I don't know, but I just got paid.

- Oh good, then we can have more.

- Look (giggling).

- Wow. Okay.

That's good stuff.

- Hello. - Hello.

- [Both] Hello.

(both laughing)

- I am Bianca.

- I am Narnia.

- Would you like to play a game with me?

- Yes, I want to play a game.

- Let's play.

So

Let's, my leg goes there.

- And my leg goes there.

- And then my leg goes.

- Chili Peppers!

- 'Cause I like it hot.

- (giggling) Me too.

- So just watch me.

- Oh yes,

and my other leg is gonna go somewhere

also hot chili pepper.

(Liz laughing)

Here, or here.

(speaking in foreign language)

All right.

(both screaming)

It not work very well.

- Not work very well.

- Not very well.

- No.

Let's try something else.

- Something else.

Bobby said, Bobby says kiss my arm.

- Ah.

Oh!

(Liz kissing)

- And my cheek.

- (gasping) Your cheek!

(Liz kissing) And my neck.

- (gasping) Your neck!

(Liz kissing) - Not the neck, not the neck.

Not the neck.

Bobby was wrong, Bobby was wrong.

- Bianca likes to kiss your neck.

- Narnia doesn't like the neck.

- Oh. Okay.

(gasping) I know, let's pull your hair.

- Yes, I like this.

- Cross, criss cross applesauce.

- Okay, criss cross.

My mama told me this.

- Your mother?

(both laughing)

- You know, I'm so sick and tired of both of them.

Now they're bitching all the time about bad sex.

- Oh man.

How about if we break 'em up?

- That's a good idea.

Let's do that. - Yeah, let's do that.

You know how about if we?

- Thank you so much for inviting us here, Bobby.

- Sure, you're welcome.

- And thank you for setting us up.

- You're welcome too.

- Cheers to that.

- Cheers to that.

(glass clinking) - Cheers.

- Bartender, can I have another. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Dude. - There you go. You all right there, pal?

- I think so. - [Bartender] Okay.

- There you go.

- [Bartender] This is the last one though, bud.

(Liz chuckling) - Cheers.

- Cheers. (glass clinking)

- Salute.

Okay, excuse me, I need to use the restroom.

- All right. - I'll be right back.

Pardon me. - I'll be right here.

- Can you bring me a new one?

- [Bartender] Yeah sure, you want to stick with Hefeweizen

or try something different?

- Hi. - No, no,

I'll stick with that. - I've been checking you out.

You're gorgeous. - Shots?

- Thank you. - No, no. - Call me. (Bobby laughing)

- Shots yesterday. - No shots tonight, no.

- Call me.

- I still feel them.

- [Bartender] Yeah. I mean, you did like 12 last night.

- Right, right, yeah.

No, I'll stick to the beer.

- Okay. - But bring me a new one.

(light music)

- Excuse me, excuse me.

What the hell just happened?

- What are you talking about? - This is my girlfriend

over here. - Sorry.

- Okay?

What did you just, were you flirting with her?

Is that what it was?

- I can't believe this.

- You can't, I can't believe this.

- Oh my God, it was nothing!

- You let a stranger - Nothing happened! Give her your phone number?

- Nothing happened! - No!

No! (both clamoring)

Stop it! - What? - What?

- I can't take that anymore!

You're fighting all the time!

I don't want to be part of that anymore,

so just don't call me, I'm sick and tired of that.

So, don't call me until you get your shit together.

I don't want to be your friend anymore, I'm leaving.

- What? Bobby?

You see what you did?

- What I did?

What I did? - Yeah, you overreact about every single bloody thing.

Nothing happened.

- You're the one taking a phone number from that

yellow piece of paper. - Nothing happened.

Yeah, are you? - I didn't take the bloody number, okay?

- Seriously. - I did not.

- I saw you take it. - Take the number.

- I saw you take it.

I was coming from the bathroom and I saw you

taking the number. - Ladies, ladies, please ladies.

- What? - Check it out.

She didn't take the number, she crumpled it up

and it dropped it on the floor.

Trust me, look it's still on the floor right now.

(light music)

- Right here, darling.

You love me.

(Liz giggling)

- I'm sorry baby.

- I love it when you get angry like that.

It turns me on (laughing).

- Oh, what are you saying?

- Let's get out of here.

- Let's do it. (both laughing)

Excuse me.

(soft music)

- So Lindsay, how was school today?

- It was good.

In history we learned about the Revolutionary War.

The first shots were fired on April 19th, 1775,

in Lexington, Mass.

- Hmm, I didn't know that.

- Yeah.

In home economics, we finished our knitting projects.

I made you a scarf, because I noticed you've been wearing

a lot of wool lately.

- Thank you sweetie.

- Sure thing.

And then after home economics, we went to health class

and we learned that some plastics

and sex products can be bad for you.

I asked about your dildo

and she said that over time it could give you a rash

on your labia.

So I suggest getting an FDA-approved one next time.

Mm hm.

Can I go play with the ducks?

- Yes, you can go play with the ducks.

(both laughing)

Oh my God.

- I bet you she was in front of the whole class

saying my mom and her girlfriend had this dildo.

- They have this pink one and they also have this black one.

(Liz laughing)

(soft music)

(ducks quacking)

(both laughing)

The moms are gonna love you.

They're gonna come home and say mom, do you have a pink one?

- Is that embarrassing, or is that cool?

I don't know anymore.

- It's cool, that's cool.

- Cool. - It's cool.

- Can you imagine?

How are the others parents going to think,

what are they gonna think?

- They're gonna love you.

- I don't know about that.

- I've been thinking.

- What have you been thinking?

- I've been thinking of three.

- I've been thinking about three, too!

- I mean just adding the third one to the mix, and.

- Yes, different dynamic right?

Yeah.

We need to cum.

- [Liz] We do. (ducks quacking)

- Can we go?

(both laughing)

(both panting)

(both groaning)

- Yeah (farting)!

- [Both] Ugh.

(both screaming)

(both sighing)

- How was that, ladies?

It was great. - Oh, it was perfect.

- That'll be three sessions worth.

- Okay. - Okay.

Each.

Bye bye.

- What? - I can't afford that.

- And I miss Bobby.

- Oh, me too.

- Friends?

- Friends.

(bright music)

- Did you guys hear that the sex therapist got arrested

because she shoved somebody out the door so hard

that he fell and broke three bones?

- Really? - Yeah.

- You know that's strange,

I heard that she made a special potion for somebody

that couldn't uphold their limpness.

So whatever happened, the balls got inverted

and the guy committed suicide.

- What?

(Jane laughing)

- Hey, um, mom, can I get some money?

We're gonna go skydiving and then do some shopping.

(heavy music)

Uh, now please?

- It's okay.

- Oh my gosh!

I can't believe you just did that!

One thing!

One thing! Don't touch my hands! - I'm sorry, but.

- You know what? No!

Just leave.

Leave!

What is it with these people?

Every time I tell them don't touch my hands,

but do they listen?

No! They never do!

You know what, if I don't like it, I don't like it!

So done.

Ugh!

(light music)

(bright music)

(dramatic music)