All language subtitles for New.Amsterdam.2018.S03E08.1080p.WEB.H264-STRONTiUM

.

[Wilson Pickett's
"Hello Sunshine" playing]

♪

- ♪ Hello

♪ Sunshine

♪ I'm so glad to see you,
sunshine ♪

♪ Hello

♪ Sunshine

♪ It's been dark
for such a long time ♪

♪

♪ I can't explain

♪ What I've been through

♪ Tried to live my life
without you ♪

♪ People say

♪ That I act so strange...

[dialogue inaudible]

[somber music]

♪

[somber music continues]

♪

[energetic, percussive
music]

- Mina, breakfast is ready!

We have 12 minutes.
Let's go!

Please tell me you're dressed.

- I'm late.
Bye-bye, Ammeh Joon!

- Oh, no, no, no, wait!

Um...

breakfast?

- I'm not much
of a breakfast person.

[soft music]

♪

- Floyd Reynolds, my friend.

Do you ever just want to
bust out in song?

You know, like,
serenade the halls?

- Not today, Iggy.
- What's the matter?

What stole the song
in your heart, my friend?

- Deacon Earnest Porter

of Anointed Balm of Gilead
Full Gospel Church.

That's who.
- Say that three times fast.

- Oh, man, it's my mom's
church friend.

He's always showing up to try
to fix something, you know?

Always stopping by with his
homemade buttermilk biscuits.

- He's doing what?

What a menace.
Have you kicked his ass yet?

- I'm being serious.

So you're feeling a little
squeezed out by the old Deacon?

- It's like this, me and my
mom, we have a set schedule.

Right?
We have an understanding.

Whenever he's around,
she loses focus.

You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.

Okay, so you know,
you coming back here

to be you mom's primary
caregiver was a big decision,

and somebody's suddenly
picking up that mantle,

that could feel like
maybe you made a mistake.

- Don't shrink me, and I won't
cut open your chest, deal?

- What you're feeling
is very natural, right?

But what your mother is feeling
is also very natural.

She needs space and time
to flirt

and to eat
those buttermilk biscuits

and to be a fully realized
sexual human being.

- Oh, God.
- What?

Come on.
Hey, hey.

So should you.

Right?
#selfcare, my friend.

[punchy music]

♪

- Looks like your dilation's
right on schedule.

- There's two more C-sections
incoming.

Our O.R.s are booked solid.

- Okay, take 'em to five.

I convinced ortho to cede an OR
to your overflow, okay?

- Look at all this new life.

- How oddly chipper of you.

- I can't help it!

There's a miracle
in every room.

Oh, look at that one.

- Good, and it wouldn't
have anything to do

with all the great publicity
that we've been receiving

for taking over Southwest's
labor and delivery?

- God bless Evelyn Davis,

destroyer of subpar Labor
and Delivery departments.

- That's what, five L and Ds
that she has sued closed?

Thanks.
- So long as we positively

reap from others' misfortune.

- Mm, I wouldn't phrase it
that way.

- Let us pick up the shattered
remains and profit off their--

- Yeah, or how about,
our delivery protocols

have led to the best birthing
outcomes in the city?

And we can even afford
to scale up

if we can convince the board
to fund--

- No, miracles!

A room full of miracles.

- Ugh.
- What, today that bad already?

- Just ending yesterday.

Longest night ever.

- Okay, well, at least business
is finally picking up.

- Two drunk frat boys fought
over the future of Bitcoin

and then threw up
in my backseat.

- Oh.

- It took two hours
to clean it all out.

Who knows how many fares
I missed, and then--

- Yeah, I think
you, uh, missed a spot.

- I just want
to scrub myself raw

and then collapse
in the closet.

- Well, enjoy.

- More Southwest mommas
have landed.

Several look ready to pop.
- [under breath] Great.

- Dr. Bloom--

I've got a migraine
and having auras in Bay 3.

- Spotting in Bay 11.
- Blood sugar spike in Bay 9.

- Can't feel her toes
in Bay 18.

- More on the way.

- Abdominal pain in Bay 23.

- Everybody.

Assess, process, and discharge
or get them up to floors.

No long workups.
No time for chitchat.

Let's clear out these bays
before the next wave hits.

- Monica Cole-Weston.
Hi, I'm Dr. Reynolds.

- Is that the doctor?

- My wife, Andrea, who promised
she'd just listen in.

- Yeah, so long as you don't
downplay your symptoms.

You are 31 weeks along
this time,

and I'm out of town,
and you have to understand--

- Babe.

- [chuckles]

Tell me about
this pelvic pain.

- It started there, but it's
all over my stomach now, too.

It just keeps building.

- Dr. Reynolds, she hasn't
pooped in like three days.

- Okay.

This is the furthest
I've gotten

in a pregnancy in four tries.

We're both a little on edge.

- Understood. And where are you
on the pain scale?

- Five-ish, six.

I thought it was just one
of those pregnancy aches,

but it wouldn't go away.

- I'm just gonna feel around
a bit if that's okay.

Just let me know
if anything's tender.

Any spotting?

All right, I think we should
get you up to OB.

- Is something wrong
with the baby?

- Not saying that,
but you're 31 weeks,

and I'd like them
to take a look

and do their own workups.

Take some of that worry
off you and your wife.

- Ydalis Fournette?

I'm Dr. Bloom.

So, how far along are you?

- Wow, so I can't just be big?

We fat shaming out the gate?

- Uh, no, no, sorry, I--

I just assumed that you were
another pregnancy transfer

from Southwest.

- Well, your assumption
is all the way wrong.

I'm here for this.

This trick at the shelter
was trying to snatch my bag.

I had to tighten her ass up.

- Okay.

Yeah, you're gonna need
stitches.

I think we should send you
for an X-ray

just to be sure
we're not missing anything.

Thanks.

Huh.

Well,
it turns out I was right.

Your blood test says that you
are, in fact, pregnant.

- Your test is wrong
as you are.

I'm a virgin.

- Nia, the biopsy confirmed

that the mass in your thyroid
is cancerous.

It's stage three.

- Stage three.

That's...bad, right?

- Without treatment, this
could progress to terminal,

but there's hope.

- We have an excellent chance

using intravenous radioactive
iodine treatments.

- Radioactive?
But I'm going to breastfeed.

- I'm afraid you can't.

- O-okay.

Okay.

- Nia.

You're also gonna need
to isolate from your family

during the course
of the treatment.

- Isolate, like, for how long?

- Four to five months.

- Hold on.
- No, no, no.

- We can't be near her
for four to five months?

- No, I couldn't.

- How's that even work
with a newborn?

- Shh, shh, shh.
- I understand.

- Pearl's gonna need
her mother.

- Exactly,
Pearl needs her mother,

you need your wife,

and Nia needs these treatments

if she's gonna have a chance
of surviving.

- I understand that this is
difficult to hear.

I do.

But we want to give you
the best chance possible.

[soft music]

♪

- When do we start?

- Your cancer is aggressive.

We need to start your treatment
today.

♪

- I know it's disheartening.
I'm sorry.

- Sorry is not something
I expect to hear

from the head of the best labor
and delivery department

in New York.

My OB just transferred me here

for an optimal birthing
experience,

but you're no better
than Southwest.

- What's going on in there?

- Dr. Matsudaira won't let her
walk to progress her labor

because of her condition.

Our policy is to encourage her
to labor in bed.

- Right, so why not
just tell her that?

- Because that's Evelyn Davis.

- That's Evelyn Davis?

The lawyer?

Is here?

- I mean, you can talk
to the team, yes?

- Mm-hmm, and it was six
departments she closed,

not five.

[dramatic music]

.

- Talk to me straight,
is New Amsterdam

gonna support
my VBAC birth plan?

- We're gonna do everything
we can to make sure

you have a great birthing
experience.

- How very political of you.

- Truthfully, vaginal births
after caesarian, VBACS,

depend on many things,

like your prior caesarian--

- Which I didn't want.

But my labor
was taking too long,

so they gave me Pitocin,

and then they pushed
an epidural on me

because that was their protocol
for Pitocin.

And all I could do was lay
there, then came more Pitocin,

and then my son started
to decelerate.

- Warp speed after that.

- People were just doing things
to me, to my body

without asking.
- I barely made it into the OR

before they were
pulling him out.

- He's five now, inquisitive,

the kind of eyelashes
people would kill for.

But his birth was a nightmare.

I refocused my practice
on birthing justice

because of it.

So you can appreciate how
"great experience"

means letting me walk if
that's what I feel like doing.

- But the only reason that
they're not letting you walk

is to monitor your labor
progression internally,

and your VBAC calculation
of 28%--

- Means that, according
to your numbers,

that my likelihood of having
a successful vaginal delivery

are slim to none.
- 28% isn't exactly optimal.

- Says your calculator,
which already counts a point

against me
just for being Black.

- Unfortunately, that's true.

Black and Latina mothers tend
to have less successful VBACs.

- And lower birthweight babies,

more complications postpartum,
higher maternal deaths.

None of which has anything
to do with our beautiful skin,

just how we're treated in it.

- Ms. Davis, the only thing
that we want is for you

and your baby to walk out
of here healthy.

It's just that when you're
still 5 centimeters dilated

after almost four hours--
- Sounds like you're laying

the groundwork to deny my VBAC.
- That's not my intention,

but if you don't progress
naturally soon,

then a C-section may be
your only recourse.

Do you understand?

- Oh, you've made things
abundantly clear.

- Nia, your procedure room's
all set.

Are you ready to go?

- I've hardly seen Pearl
at all.

Barely got to hold her.

- Where is she now?

- She's with Bim.

They're running tests,
making sure she's normal.

Normal.

- I know that all of this feels
about as far from normal

as you can get right now,
but you can get through this.

You can.

- How can I help?

- I want to feed her.

Just once, I want to
feel her on my skin,

nourish her,

bond with her,

and then you can take me.

[soft music]

- Of course.

We'll give it a few more hours,
okay?

♪

- Oh, are you
the psych consult?

- I am, yeah.
I'm Dr. Frome.

How's she doing?

- Ydalis Fournette,
8 centimeters dilated,

in active labor, and still
angrily denying she's pregnant.

- Okay, yeah,
that's cryptic pregnancy.

Means her mind is having
a hard time accepting

she's carrying a child.

- Well, whatever it is,
the chief signed off.

We're going to get
a court order

to perform a C-section,
if that is required.

- No, hold on, Dr. Goldman.
Hang on.

Just taking unilateral action
could be further traumatizing,

so maybe before we get
the courts involved,

you and I can assess
what triggered this.

- With what time?

That baby's coming out
one way or another,

whether she wants to
believe it or not.

- Okay, what I'm saying

is that you and I need
to proceed with care.

- Care?

Dr. Frome, that woman never
received any prenatal care.

None.

Other than the ultrasound
I just performed,

we know literally nothing
about the health of this child.

- Okay, I recognize that you
are trying to advocate

for the health of that baby,
but I am down here

to advocate for
the health of that mother.

- Dr. Frome--
- Which means that we do not

just strip her of her rights
with a court order

before I even speak to her.
- Well, she's going to have to

participate in her own care.
- Okay.

- Look, you are more
than welcome

to try to get through to her,

but I'm getting
that court order.

So you have until I get back.

♪

- Walsh.

This isn't a M.A.S.H. unit.

Go and find a bay to examine
your patient in.

- All the bays
are still filled because--

- I don't care.
- Where am I supposed to go?

- I don't know.

You know, if only we were
in a huge building

filled with lots of rooms,

and you just needed to find
one empty one.

Go.

- Monica, what happened?

- They ran some tests,
did a pelvic exam,

said my baby's fine, and now
I'm back here talking to you.

- And you explained
all your symptoms?

- Yes.
- Unreal. Let's go.

Here we go.

- Can I help you?

- I'll be right back.

Hi, uh, Doctor...Malvo.

It seems that Ms. Cole-Weston
was sent back down to the E.D.

Now, I don't know if
you're maybe overwhelmed

with the influx
of new patients--

- Oh, so you're saying
my OB is sloppy?

- Not my words.
- I examined her myself.

The baby's right on target, CBC
and chem panels were normal,

no signs of labor,
and her pelvic exam revealed

no dilation or softening
of the cervix.

So basically I did everything

that should've been done
in the E.D.

- Wait a minute--

- Which means, Dr. Reynolds,

her symptoms would make her
the E.D.'s patient, not OB's.

- Okay, now, hang on.

The E.D.'s job is to triage,
not treat all,

which is exactly what we did.

Now, real talk,
what you should've done

was call a surgery consult
to handle her abdominal pain,

instead of shuttlecocking her
down to us.

- And now you're mansplaining.

- No, I'm just--
- You wanna do real talk?

Do you know
how exhausting it is

having every other department
dump their patients on OB

just because that patient
happens to be pregnant?

It's just lazy.
- Guys--

- Or maybe just concerned
with the patient's welfare.

- Well, they have
all the same organs.

Stop being afraid of vulvas.

- Let's get her on a stretcher.

- Okay, okay, it's okay.

Oh, she's warm, diaphoretic,
and tachy.

- Where does it hurt?
- All over my stomach

and my back now.
- Sepsis?

- Her white blood count was 14,

which is in the range
for pregnancy,

and her ultrasound
on non-obscured organs--

- Obscured organs?

both: Appendicitis.

- Page O.R., and let 'em know
we're on our way.

- Paging O.R. now.
- Told you, your department.

♪

- Max!
- What's the 911?

- Evelyn Davis.
- What happened now?

- She checked herself out, AMA.

- Still in labor?
- Yeah.

Hey, what did you say to her?

[dramatic music]

.

- Ms. Davis!
Um...

Glad I caught up with you.
I heard you were going home?

- Our OB is meeting us there.
- Ms. Davis--

- I was a fool to think
any hospital would listen...

Ooh!
Honor my wishes,

do right by me and my baby,
so I'm going home.

- Home births can be amazing.

It's perfect, unless it isn't.

I ended up delivering
my daughter in my bedroom

with a kitchen knife,

praying that the ambulance
would arrive in time

for both her and...

my wife.

I can't let that be
a possibility for you.

We're prepared for anything
at this hospital.

You're already here.
You're in labor.

Please.

Let us safely deliver
this baby

at New Amsterdam.

- I'm going home, Dr. Goodwin.

- Mr. Davis.

I just want what's best
for you and your wife.

Is there anything
that you can say--

- Dr. Goodwin, have you ever
loved a Black woman?

I've heard lots of numbers
today,

how they'll keep my wife safe,

how they'll help ensure
my child is born safely,

but I really haven't seen
my wife in your numbers.

There's nothing worse
than being told

how to be grateful.

- [groans]

Julian!

[dramatic music]

[whimpering]

- Page Dr. Bloom.
Get the ER rapid response team.

- Mind if I sit down?

- Okay, good.

So first off, I am Dr. Frome,
but you can just call me Iggy.

Everybody does.

- Okay.

- Yeah, why don't you--
you start.

You tell me in your own words

what happened with this fight
at the homeless shelter?

- I don't know.

I already told that bitch
to mind her business.

She always talking
'bout what I eat,

wondering what's in my bags,

and that trick's hands
got sticky, so...

- Okay, so she was trying
to exert control over you?

- The shelter does that.

Ain't no different here
at the hospital neither.

Everybody just doing
what they wanna do to you.

You're supposed to just
go along with it?

- So, hey, when was
the last time

you felt like you were
in control of your life?

Do you remember?

Full control.

- I don't know.

It's been a minute.

- Yeah.

I bet, and you strike me
as the type of person

that values that deeply.

Am I right?

Yeah, so then you would know
when you felt like you lost it.

W-when was that?

[soft music]

- About a year ago, maybe.

- Okay, so did something happen
about a year ago?

Something that made you feel
like you lost control?

[knocking]
Hang on!

- We're taking her now.

- Walsh?
What are you doing in here?

- You said to go find a room.
- Yeah, but I--

- So I found a room.

You mind?

- Bloom!

Your friend?

Walsh found her.
- What?

- He got security
to clear her out.

♪

- Based on the amount
of abscess fluid,

it doesn't look like the
appendix has fully ruptured.

- That's good.

- But I still can't get
a visual.

I don't know.

It's like the appendix isn't
where it's supposed to be.

- The magic of gestation,

moving everything
out of the way to make space.

It's back there somewhere.

- All right.

[soft music]

♪

All right.

I'm gonna have to expand
the field.

- You good?
- [sighs]

Haven't had to do one
of these in a while,

since residency.

- Just root around,
and mind the extra human.

It's no different.
- Let's hope it is.

That time we lost the fetus.

♪

- You do music in your O.R.?

♪

- Nurse Kamoe?

Can you cue up my people?

You know where to start.

[The Pointer Sisters'
"Yes We Can Can" playing]

- [laughs]
Oh, okay.

These are your people?

- ♪ Now's the time
for all good men ♪

♪ To get together
with one another ♪

♪ We got to iron out
our problems ♪

♪ And iron out our quarrels
- Where's the ramen emoji?

- ♪ And try to find
a piece of land ♪

♪ Without stepping
on one another ♪

[music warps, stops]

- Why hasn't Nia been sent up
to radiation yet?

- Because she wanted time
to bond with her baby

to try and form a connection.

- Understandable,
but she has to--

- Look, that family could end
up physically apart

for upwards of a year.

All she asked for was a moment.

- I was just asking because
things have been a bit crazy

in neurology with Dr. Kapoor's
retirement,

and I'm trying to keep
all the balls up in the air

until we find his replacement.

- Of course.

- Is everything okay with--
- It's fine.

I'm just gonna take Nia up now.

[soft music]

Nia?

- She won't latch.

Please don't take me.

- Do you want me to start
a regional block?

- For what?

- I'm checking
your progression, hon.

You'll feel a little pressure.

Looks like the bleeding's from
a small tear in the placenta.

Nothing to worry about,

but you're still only
60% effaced

and at station -2.

It's a go on the C-section.

- C-section?
But why?

- You want her fetal or supine?
- Let's get her supine for now.

- This isn't what I want.
Listen to me.

- On it.
- Type and cross for two units.

- Make sure her foley's in.

- Julian.

- I'm sorry, sir, you can't be
in here right now.

- But this is my wife.
- You can wait right outside.

It's hospital policy.

- Are we getting decels?

- No, baby's holding steady
on the monitor.

BP's 135 over 80.

- Everybody, stop.

Listen.
Not to me, to the patient.

Evelyn.

How can we help?

- I want to deliver my baby
naturally.

- Then let's try to do that.

- She's geriatric
with a history of FTP

and a VBAC score of 28%.

- If Evelyn wasn't Black,
would her VBAC score be better?

Allow for a longer trial
of labor?

- Technically, but--
- Then do it.

Change her VBAC calculation.

- How?
- Make her white.

♪

.

- She's fully effaced
and at -1 station,

but she's still
only 5 centimeters dilated.

- Dr. Goodwin.

That woman should be having
a C-section.

- Well, that woman
disagrees with you.

- Evelyn Davis is many things,
but not a doctor,

and all signs point to her
vaginal birth going poorly.

- You don't know that for sure.
- Why, you're right.

If only there were
an instrument we could use

to estimate the risk of things,

like uterine rupture
after a previous C-section.

A calculator, say.

- Your sarcasm is unnecessary.
- Then I'll be blunt.

By ignoring
the VBAC calculator,

you're risking the life
of that woman and her baby.

- If her VBAC score
can be changed

just by switching her race,

then maybe the VBAC calculator
is a racist tool.

- Different populations
have different likelihoods

of different issues.

Factoring in race
isn't inherently racist.

- No, you're right,
but treating some races

like they are automatically
a health risk is,

when we should be focused
on the racism

that Black mothers encounter,

which is ultimately
what is leading

to these poorer outcomes.

- And how's fixing racism
working out?

- I can't fix it,

but I can throw out
that calculator,

which we're just using
to cover our ass.

- Not to mention,
and by your own words,

to deliver the best outcomes
in the city.

- At the expense
of the mothers.

Our focus on making the numbers
look good is turning this place

into a hatchery.

It shouldn't be like that.

It should be like this.

[soft music]

And if it's a risk,
then it's the risk

that she wants to take.

- And if the baby dies,

comes out damaged in a way
that was avoidable,

she's not gonna blame herself.

She'll blame her doctor.

This isn't just Evelyn's risk.

Now it's the whole hospital's.

- Let's try a wider angle,
and just lift your breast up.

- Lift it, lift it higher.
- All right, okay, here.

- Lift it higher.
- Honey, I just need to--

- Well, I know.
I just can't--

- Babe, you gotta try--
- I am trying.

- Nia, Nia, the baby
can feel your stress.

- I am trying to relax, but--
stop.

Just stop, stop, stop.
I said stop.

[baby crying]

Just get the bottle.

[baby crying]

- You know,

breastfeeding is
incredibly special,

and it's important,

but it is not everything.

It doesn't make you less
of a mother.

- Do you have children?

- No.

- Then you can't possibly know
how this feels.

- Dr. Bloom.

- Leyla had nothing to do
with this, okay?

She selflessly brought
a patient in,

and when I heard that she had
no place to stay,

I let her use the closet.

I mean, we're in the business
of helping people, right?

And I'd do it again, okay?
'Cause she's an amazing person.

I mean, she's super cranky,
but wouldn't you be

if you had to drive around
puking frat boys

when you're actually a doctor?

Look, I know that I committed
like a hundred violations,

and I'm gonna gladly take
whatever I've got coming,

but I'm not gonna let you press
charges against Leyla.

♪

- Ms. Shinwari told me she
doesn't know you at all,

that she found the closet and
took up residence on her own.

♪

So I'm gonna go with her story.

♪

- This is my jam.

Reminds me of the first boy
I kissed,

Benny Galan.

- You're barely as old
as this song.

- Just the feeling of it.

I was so nervous.

I'd never kissed before.

- How'd you do?
- Is that even a question?

- Okay, you got it.

I didn't see my first kiss
coming.

I had to swallow my gum.

- So she put the moves on you?

- Always been
into confident women.

[Toto's "Georgy Porgy" playing]

- ♪ I'm not the only one
that holds you ♪

Cheers.

Appendix been removed.
Now all we have to do is--

[beeping]

Baby's heart rate dropped
to 94.

- Acute bradycardia.
Dammit.

Probably a uterine abruption
from all the manipulation.

Set me up for a classic,
and get NICU down here stat.

- Paging NICU now.
- Scalpel.

[background chatter,
indistinct instructions]

- [groans]
- You're doing so great.

Deep breaths.
- Get off of me!

- I'm trying to help you.
- Calm down.

- Ydalis, what are these people
doing?

Stop, stop,
stop that right now.

- Dr. Frome?
What's going on?

- What is this OB doing
in here?

You are not pregnant.
- Have you lost your mind?

- This is my colleague,
Safia Lazarre.

We have received
new information.

You are not pregnant.
You were right all along.

What we have is a GI blockage,

and we need to resolve it
immediately, okay?

Dr. Goldman, you know
Safia can handle it.

She is excellent.
So here we go.

- Dr. Frome, a word?

- Okay, I'll be back.
Hands off, please.

- What the hell are you doing?

- I am getting her
to participate.

All right?
You need to follow my lead.

Safia is an amazing midwife.

If we need you for anything,
you will know.

This is for Ydalis
and the baby.

- Okay.
- Okay, thank you.

- Hey, sis, I'm Safia.

Look like you might be
a bit uncomfortable, yeah?

- Yeah--
[groans]

- Let's fix that.

What feels better?

- If I could s-stand up?

- Okay, then let's do that.
- Yeah, okay.

Let's get you standing up.

Why don't you put your arms
around my neck?

- Okay.

- There you go.
Lean on me.

I got you.
- Aah!

- Okay, I got you.
It's okay, you're good.

I got you.
I got you, okay?

Just like this.
Just like this, okay?

I got you.
Don't worry.

- That blockage wants to make
its way out, huh?

- Yeah.
[groans]

- You need to help it, okay?
- Okay.

- That wave of pain is helping
you move it out,

so use it.

When you feel it,
push like you're pooping.

- Pooping?

- It's the only way
to get it out.

- It's okay, it's okay.
Piece of cake.

Piece of cake.
- Okay.

- Push.
Good.

Big push, push, push, Ydalis.

- [groans]
- Come on.

Bear down.
- Aah!

♪

[baby crying]

What did you do?
What did you do?

Aah!

[sobs]

♪

.

- Ydalis, I'm very sorry
that I betrayed you.

- People stay doing
their own thing.

You think you special?

- No, I don't.

But I try to not manipulate
people.

Take away their control.

Talk to me about the last time

you felt like you were
in control.

You told me that was about
a year ago for you, right?

So that was right around
the beginning of the pandemic.

What happened then?

It's okay to talk about,
and whatever you tell me--

whatever you choose to tell me
is in your control.

I'm just here to listen.

- You know how all of a sudden,
they were screaming,

"Shelter in place.
The city's on lockdown"?

- Yeah.

- My moms was tripping,

so my dad's stepbrother said
I could stay with him.

And I was like, bet.

It was cool, you know.

Free food, Wi-Fi.

But then he lost his job.

That stimulus check
went real quick.

Got hectic, and uh...

He got so angry.

Talking 'bout what he was owed.

How I owe him.

One night he just started
taking.

And I told him,
I don't do that.

I'd never ever done that.

But he ain't care.

He would just take, take, take.

I got tired of fighting, so...

I would pretend
I was somewhere else.

That wasn't me or my problem.

Couldn't be.

So it wasn't.

That was her.

And I'm still Ydalis.

♪

- You repressed a trauma
for your own emotional safety.

That's what you did.

But you know that you are
more that trauma.

Right?

You know that it may be
a part of you, yeah,

but you are so much more.

You will be so much more
than that trauma.

- Till something else happens.

- There's always gonna be
something

that we can't control, always.

But there is one thing
that you can control.

What you do next.

- Now, retract
the uterine wall.

Give me a good field.

- Retracting now.

- Okay, hold steady
while I get her out.

Grab her.
I need to stop the bleeding.

- She's not breathing.

- Place two fingers just
below the intermammary line.

Now compress the sternum
about an inch and a half.

- Like this?
- Mm-hmm, and repeat.

Faster.

Faster, faster.

You're doing great.

[intense musical build-up]

[baby crying]

- ♪ Hello

♪ Sunshine

♪ I'm so glad to see you,
sunshine ♪

♪ Hello, sunshine

- Dr. Reynolds.
Good work.

- ♪ It's been dark
for such a long time ♪

♪

- [grunting]

- Baby, the head
is right there!

- You feel that?

- Oh, my God!
- Right?

Okay, next contraction we go.

Show me how it's done, Ev!

- Almost there,
you're doing it.

- Aah!

- Someone's here!

Happy birthday!

- Another boy!

- My sweet, sweet baby.

- ♪ It's been dark
for such a long time ♪

♪ Every night,
I cry more and more ♪

♪ Just a little bit more
than the night before ♪

♪ Misery was my company

♪ Till you came along
and rescued me ♪

- Well?

- Everybody's dead--
the doctors, the nurses.

The baby is some kind
of hideous creature--

- Max!

- Couldn't have gone better.

- Thank you.

You know we were lucky, right?

A high risk birth,
one where you falsified race

on a medical record
to fake a VBAC score?

That wasn't just a liability,
it was fraud.

- I know.
That's true.

That's why we're getting rid
of that VBAC calculator.

We're gonna implement
a more holistic approach

to everything.

- What do you mean, everything?

Max?
Max!

Everything sounds like a lot.

[soft music]

♪

- Though she be but little,
"Miss Thing" is fierce.

They'll be taking her home
in no time.

- Well, you know, I've been
a surgeon for a long time.

It's rare that I get
to experience something new.

For that, I thank you.

- Well, maybe now you won't
send every pregnant woman

who walks in to the E.D.
up to OB.

- Touché.

And for the record,
I'm not afraid of vulvas.

- Mm-hmm.

- There's this record store
in East Village.

It's nothing fancy, but they
got some really special stuff.

Wanna go Saturday and maybe
grab dinner after?

- Dr. Reynolds, if that was
what I think it was,

I'm flattered, but...

- Oh.

I'm sorry, I had no idea.

- I'll see you around.

- Yeah.

- You know, you didn't have
to do that.

Lie.

- If I had known how bad
you were at it,

I wouldn't have.

- I know you've got no place
to stay.

- I'll figure it out.

- Okay, can I get you a room
somewhere?

- Why, do you know a good
closet in another hospital?

- I mean, like a real room.
- Lauren.

I won't let you pay for me
to stay somewhere.

I'm not a charity case.

- Then just stay with me.

I mean, I'm, like, never there,
so...

- You asking me to be
your roommate?

- Maybe.

Why?

What's wrong with that?

I mean, I have
an extra bedroom,

and I'm not a serial killer,

or a hoarder, or someone
who sings in the morning--

- I'll take it.

- Okay.

Let's go home.

- Rough day?

- Did my best,
and now I must hurry home,

so I'll be there in time for my
niece to not acknowledge me,

champion parent that I am.

- We could start a club.
We could get matching jackets.

- I've bent over backwards
for this girl.

I've completely rearranged
my whole life

to be available for her,
and do you know what?

I'm...I'm not a mother.

Here I was thinking
that it was innate,

that, oh, I'd root for her,
and we'd do stuff,

and we'd turn into a team.

I don't even want to go home.

- Luna's really taken to
the phrase, "Dada, I hate you."

Any time I say no,
or try to feed her,

or put her in PJs.

It's like a shiv every time.

But--

kids are like
these funny little bags

full of laughter, and cuddles,
and daggers.

Sharp daggers, but you gotta
carry the bag.

That's the job.

- Sounds like a fun variety
of flesh wounds.

- Yeah, whoa, but...

but then there are times,

like when Luna finally stopped
head butting me at bath time.

- Very small victory.

- Very small,
almost imperceptible,

but you gotta take 'em
where you can.

- Ammeh Joon!

[soft music]

♪

- What's this?

Did you come all this way
to bring me pizza?

- No, my metro card ran out.

Can I get a ride with you?

- Sure, sure.

I just need to get a patient
situated first.

- You can have my leftovers
if you want them.

- Really?

I haven't had pizza in ages.

- I was just gonna
throw it out anyway.

- Right.

Well, I'll meet you back here.

[Meshell Ndegeocello's
"May This Be Love" playing]

- ♪ Waterfall

♪ Nothing can harm me at all

♪ My worries seem
so very small ♪

♪ With my waterfall

♪

♪ I can see

♪ My rainbow calling me

♪ Through the misty breeze

♪ Of my waterfall

♪

♪ Fall with me
for a million days ♪

♪ Oh, my waterfall

♪