Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

[WHISTLES]

[ALL GASP AND GRUNT]

!Free public transpo

!PO: I like it

!Aah

!Little bit jerky, though

.Whoa

So, dirigible guy said he was meeting a contact .in a tavern

So let's find !us a tavern

...Excuse us! Do you

[ALL SCREAMING]

,Never mind .she's focused on the road

Maybe our contact can tell us why

those imperial guards .tried to kill us

!He better

[And then, [GRUNTS !we'll knock his teeth out

...And kick his head in

We need him alive .and well

With all of his teeth ...and his head intact

!Watch the road, lady

!BAO: Watch out

[ALL SCREAMING]

[ALL GRUNTING]

You get what you .pay for, I guess

.Huh

[SCREAMS]

[GROWLS AND SCREAMS]

Well, we found !the tavern

But I don't want ,us recognized

,so keep a low profile ?know what I'm sayin'

.And no chi Just, please try .to blend in

[ALL GRUNTING]

[GASPS]

[ALL GROWLING]

[GRUNTS]

!This is so awesome !We're undercover

In a tavern !full of criminals

And the government thinks !we're dead! [LAUGHS] Pinch me

[PO CLEARS THROAT]

,You guys have, like ?a pot sticker type o' deal

With a sauce ?or somethin'

.Gongmen stew

.No refunds

...Um, is there silverware, or

.Gongmen stew. No refunds

FANG: Has the Empress ?eaten her dinner

.Afraid not, sir

She refuses and asked ,that we leave her be .forever

She's upset .about that fat panda

.Well, the fattest panda

,Just, move aside .I'll speak to her

.Apologies, General

We have strict orders .not to allow anyone inside

,And who, may I ask ?gave you the orders

.You did, of course, sir

.Right. Carry on

She's been in the exact same .position for hours

And neither of you felt the need

to check on why ?she hadn't moved

[GASPS]

The Empress has been .turned into a vegetable

What wicked sorcery [is this? [SNORTS

.Suspect is a warlock ...Height unknown

That's not !the Empress, you idiot

!General! Look

,XIAO: Dear reader your precious Empress Xiao ,is gone

.probably forever

,Do not search for her ,but if you do

definitely do not go into the woods .surrounding the palace

.She's not there

,Yours truly .xoxo, her captor

What kind of monster ?would do this

She's clearly .written this herself

The "I's" are dotted with little hearts

and there's peach juice .all over it

.We can't be sure The warlock could've .conjured his own juice

,He's toying with us !General Fang

...Would you please [GRUNTS]

.Nobody can know she's gone

:CHOW GUARD 1 .Of course, General

FANG: The woods surrounding .the palace are treacherous

.The Empress is not safe

,Okay, gang let's split up

and look for any quizzical lookin' .ne'er-do-wellers

Hmm. Try to get .some answers

Are we assigning ?code names

I call dibs ".on "The Albatross

!Such a good idea .But no time

,Please .nobody act rash

[CLEARS THROAT] .Jing

,Give yourself an MTA

moment to assess the situation

before you resort ...to whoopin'

That dude looked !at me funny

!Hey

!No

[GROWLS]

!Ya

[GRUNTS]

[ALL GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

!Aah

[GRUNTS]

!Aah

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS]

,For the record I'm disappointed !in you guys

,LI: All right, people

we're in less !than an ideal situation here

[ALL GRUNT]

?So what's the plan, bozo

We get inside .the volcano

It seems Shi Long is building

,a giant warrior in there ...made out of some kind of

[MUMBLES]

.warrior material !Aah

GRUNTS] What makes] ?you so sure

[GRUNTS]

Well, the designs for a volcano lab

and giant warrior were on scrolls

sitting right .by each other

,But you're right .that could mean anything

But those guards did not like us

snooping around .down there

Exactly. So we blow up ,the whole island .without us on it

[ALL SCREAMING]

...And then when we do

[ALL LAUGHING]

!Ah

?Rooster! What is the deal

Keep your eyes !on the sea, buckoes

!Wing, Wong !Cut splice the cunningham

!Tide's in our favor

Well, now hold that !side of pickled cabbage

Who died and made ?you captain

[SCREAMS]

I am the only one here who knows ,how to sail a ship

!you plump giblet

?Is that so ?You've sailed a ship

No! But I have ridden .in the back of a wagon !Enough gibber-jabber

!Anchors a-weigh, boys

,Deckhands !hoist the buttress

!Volcano Island, dead ahead

!Whoa

How are we supposed to ?find our guy in this mess

We bust every head !in this place

!No more head-busting

We wouldn't be in this brawl ...if you had listened to me

We just gotta find the slimiest looking !slime ball in here

.That guy's pretty slimy

.You're right Our bribe from the Empire

should have been .here by now

Somethin' don't .feel right

!That's our guy

[GROWLS]

!Get them

[GRUNTS]

[ALL GRUNTING]

[WHIMPERS]

!Aah

[GRUNTS]

[SHRIEKS]

Nobody destroys !my tavern but me

!Aah

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS AND PANTS]

[GRUNTS]

[GROWLS]

,All right, pal .we need to talk

.Oh no, buddy

,Sweet Christmas !he's so sticky

,Get your dry !furry hands off of me

[ALL GRUNTING]

We gotta get him !out of here

!Good luck

[EFFORT GRUNTS]

?Maybe we can roll him

[GURGLING]

...You heard the man

?You're a man, right

[GROWLS]

Let's roll him !outta here

[ALL SIGH]

!Ow

[ALL GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS]

?Huh. Hello

?Is somebody there ?Father

Is that your spirit ?here to comfort me

[CRIES] !Oh, Daddy

[SHRIEKS]

Don't let the darkness .trick you, Xiao

.Be brave. Be brave

[GASPS]

?What ya' got there, lady

[ALL LAUGHING]

[ALL GRUNTING]

!Or should I say Empress

You think I care .about that hat? Please

It's super-tacky .and hecka itchy

So what's a rich princess doing

all the way out ?in these scary woods

Well, I'm meeting ,a trained cut-throat

...with lots of muscles

.He should be here soon ?What time do you have

.Your gold, Empress !Or else

!Halt! Unhand her

You know who ?you're messin' with, pal

Well, I think .we showed them

Let's get outta !here, boys

,You can't be out here !Your Majesty

Shi Long would have my head .if she knew you left the city

Well, tell her .I'm not coming back

.Let's go, Empress

.No. I am a forest wanderer now

,I do not know where I am going ...but from this point forward

I will let the trees [guide me.[RUSTLING

?Father

!Grab her

!Now, trees !Now is your time !Rise up

!Take them down I order you in my !name as Empress

[GRUNTS AND SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS]

[GASPS]

?FANG: Who goes there

...I demand you

[SCREAMS]

.Come with me, child .These woods aren't safe

[ALL GRUNTING]

,All right !time to talk, pal

[GASPS]

You're really gonna .have to enunciate

.The name's Dun Dun

My delicate combination skin

must be ,constantly moisturized

much like the buttocks .of a North African Gibbon

?Uh... What

I need a lot ?of water, okay

You'll get your .watering, big guy

[GRUNTS]

Once we get .some answers

.Backwards pound

That was fun, because .we've never done it before

You won't be getting .anything out of me

I was supposed to meet ,imperial guards in the tavern

.not a bunch of skinny pandas

!Oh, thank you !Very kind

Was hopin' .it would come to this [LAUGHS]

!I'll jog his memory

.Whoa, whoa, whoa

What did I say about [assessing the situation, Jing?[GRUNTS

Okay, you don't want .me to hit him

,What do you want me to do ?heal it out of him

!Nothing makes sense

,NU HAI: Spill the beans ,Dun Dun

and everyone gets .out of here unharmed

.No. I'll never talk

,Give us the info we need

and we'll moisten you up .and be on our way

.Please, just moisten me !I'm drying out

!Mmm. So refreshing

We can sit here all day !while you dry out, pal

!Okay, I'll talk .There's a junk

.Docked down at the harbor

With a shipment of iron .headed to Volcano Island

[Oh. [LAUGHS

[Yes! [LAUGHS

?What's the iron for, gordo

I don't know !what the iron's for

But the ship !takes off tonight

!That's all I got, I swear

[WHIMPERS]

[LAUGHS]

!ALL: Ugh

Okay, we've done ,some pretty weird stuff

but that may .top the list

I wonder if that iron shipment

is the same one we saw .on the gaming boat

.Could be

But what's ?the iron for

We've got a ship to catch .if we wanna find out

!Now, let's riggity-roll

[GRUNTS]

.Oh, wow ?What is this place

GASPS] Is this some] kind of lady gym

where you don't have to worry about

all the creeps ?and grunting weight lifters

.Something like that !Aah

.Wouldn't wanna be that guy

When our former master ,Jindiao left us

my monks and I

committed to a lifetime .of helping others

The target is a reminder [of our past. [GRUNTS

Well, thank you ,for saving me

but I am a forest wanderer now

.and I must be going

Before my royal guards .find me again

I've known many .like you, Empress

,I too was a wanderer .searching for my path

?Really ?A forest wanderer like me

Or just like ?a regular vagrant

I can't imagine ,what it's been like for you

,losing your father

gaining all that power .and responsibility overnight

,Not easy even for the strongest .of warriors

You sound like .Shi Long

?Shi Long

.My royal adviser She doesn't think .I'm ready either

And she dictates .my every move

And I don't know how I could have taken on ,my new role without her

but I'm starting to forget what it's like .to be my own person

I just wanted time !to grieve

,I mean, first Father .then Fan Tong

And I'm just !an emotional wreck right now

?Fan Tong ?You know him

,Nice panda ?about 'yay' wide

,Tiny hands ?wears capri pants

.That's him [CRIES]

Oh, how I miss .those tiny hands

I owe my life to Fan Tong .and his friends

I just don't know .what to do with him gone

.I feel so alone

We are not .so different

We've both felt the sting .of losing someone special

,As a fawn .I was always fighting

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

A violent future .was my only path

.I was a beggar, an urchin

...Until

.His name was Jindiao .A wise kung fu warrior

.He saw a fight in me .He saw potential

,He taught me that I, too .could become a warrior

After proving to be ,his strongest student

.he presented me with a gift

,It was a jade tusk

,made of the rare .precious green stone

He promised me the world

in exchange .for my undying loyalty

I became willing to do anything

to help him achieve .ultimate power

But after years ,of doing his bidding

years of fighting ...by his side

[GRUNTS]

.He betrayed me

.I meant nothing to him

I thought he gave me .purpose in life

,But in the end .I had to find my own

We are going to thrust this ship

right into the heart !of the beast

You gotta stare down !the Demon

[SCREAMS]

You gotta make a love connection .with old lady Ocean

Look off in the distance !and focus on a landmark

I'm old, and I'll puke ,whenever I feel like it

!thank you very much

I was only !trying to help

.Hold that thought [RETCHES]

,Hang tight !we got a big one [LAUGHS]

!ALL: Whoa

Think about .our unborn child

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

[WHOOPING]

!I am immortal

!I love it

!LI: Land ho

!Thank goodness

.Oh, no

!Whoa

[LAUGHS]

!Nailed the landing !Nailed it! Aah

,Ladies and gentlemen

!welcome to Volcano Island

Your tale of heartbreak ,was sad

but I don't see .what it has do with me [SCREAMS]

.Follow me, Empress .We must jump

What? No! It must be !a thousand-foot drop

.You are a lynx

Surely you'll land ?on your feet, will you not

Um, I'm gonna go .with "no" on that one

.Call it a hunch

I see. A feeling deep down ?in your gut, you might say

Exactly. I'm not jumping off of a cliff just because you .say so

I don't have .a death wish

Ah! So you can make .your own decisions

Remember that when you ,return to your throne

.to rule over your people

[EXHALES]

Yeah, but what about ?my bossy-pants adviser

A wise ruler listens ,to advisors

but makes the toughest decisions

,even in times of pain .with her heart

I just wanna bottle you up .and take you home

And then open the bottle and free you

so you can lead .my security detail

My duties are with ,my fellow monks

,but when you need me

.leave a candle in your window .I will be there

.One last thing, Empress

In case you ever find yourself .lost in the woods

All righty, that's gotta be Shi Long's boat

that Dun Dun .was talking about

!Look! Shi Long's Guards

,Okie dokie .no problemo

We just gotta get on the boat

without anyone .noticing

!That's them

Those are the skinny Pandas !who tried to dry me out

!Get them

[GROWLING]

Those are the flabby jerks !that destroyed my tavern

,Sorry, pal .we're on a break

!Break's over

!Gongmen Police !Everybody freeze

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS]

!Ah

[GRUNTS]

.Huh

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

[ROARS]

!Come on, we gotta go

[PANTING]

[GASPS]

[ALL SCREAM]

[ALL SCREAM]

Does anyone here know how to use ?a flippin' spy glass

,Now hold on ,I got us here ?didn't I

Now we just have a day or a month's journey

to get to the actual Volcano part !of Volcano Island

At least we have .the supplies from the ship

Cart can cook us up .a pupu platter for the road

[WHIMPERS]

,Heavens to Betsy !we've been robbed

Somebody drank all !of the emergency water !And ate all the food

!Rooster

.That's Captain Rooster

,Well, I have never ...in all my life

!Hutt! Chut-chut! Shut-it .We've got a long road ahead

We should probably .find some water

,A thousand apologies !Shi Long

.Oh, get up

I tried to get ...her back but

[LAUGHS]

,Is something funny ?mistress

.Such a fool

,The Empress has returned .no thanks to you

,But if this ever happens again I know plenty of guards

who would kill .for your position

[GRUNTS]

!Aah

,All right gang, next lesson .figuring out how to sail

,Did anyone, by chance ?bring some ginger root

You know, for sea sickness ?and potential constipation

Guys? We're gonna need .more than ginger

[ALL GASP]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]