Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMING]

!Shi Long

.Ooh! I didn't see that coming

You had your chance .to save your people

!Now, all will perish

[LAUGHS WICKEDLY]

[ALL GASP]

[GRUNTS]

.Oh, that's probably not good

.All right. All right .Move along

You idiots can lead ?yourselves to safety, right

!Ping! Ping

[EXCLAIMING]

,Speak to me !you old so-and-so

[CHUCKLES]

,Glad you survived .old friend

,Those carts .I couldn't save them

Their screams .will haunt me

[SOBBING]

,Okay, honestly the cart thing is .getting to be a bit much

[LOW GROWL]

Well, looks like .you've got this handled

!Arrivederci,suckers

I can never tell whether I don't like .that guy or hate him

We have to get you .to safety, Empress

And I'm not just saying that .because I want to get to safety

.We can't leave

Not while that thing .is still in my kingdom

[ALL GRUNTING]

[WHISTLING]

!Over here

Does anybody else's head .feel squishy? Mmm

[GRUNTS, GASPS]

[ROARS]

[SQUEALING]

,Follow me .your Empressness

[YELLING]

[Yah! [GRUNTS

[EXCLAIMING]

!Yah! Huh

[SCREAMING]

[ROARS]

[YELLING]

,Oh, man .I'm gonna regret this

.Come on, this way

[ALL PANTING NERVOUSLY]

[GRUNTING]

I can't stay .this ginormous forever

!Get inside

[EXCLAIMING]

[ALL PANTING]

!Ooh

[STRAINING]

.Okay, we should be safe

...SHAKILY] Uh]

So, I'm just gonna snag this .and be on my way

!No !Whoo-hoo

!Ha

[RUMBLING] [GASPS NERVOUSLY]

[ROARS]

GRUNTS] Give me] !back my crown

!We had a deal

.We have completed our agreement

!And I will be on my way

[LAUGHING]

PO: If you were ,planning to run ?why did you just save us

[RUMBLING]

?You

!Ha! I saved the crown, baby [RUMBLING]

After everything ?we did for you

?Everything you did for me [LAUGHS]

What about ?everything I did for you

I've been helping you guys ever since .we met in Langaan

.The eyes never lie

!Oh, yeah [LAUGHS]

[CLAMORING]

[SCREAMING]

[GASPS]

...Hmm

[CHUCKLING]

...Um

None of that .actually helped us

Yeah, you're kinda ,just a creepy .old stalker, dude

I was keeping !an eye on you

[RUMBLING] [GASPS]

.Like a stalker

!Aah

Empress, we must .get you out of here

I won't abandon my kingdom while that janky metal statue .is wrecking it

What if I had a way to get the janky metal statue ?out of the city

Uh, how are you planning ?to do that exactly

.I'm not

.Oh, no

[ROARING]

!Son

.Dads, we'll take it from here

You guys need to get to the catacombs

and help Grandma .evacuate the city

And I'll round up !any remaining carts

,Listen, son .I am so proud of you

!My precious seed [WAILING]

Not as proud as I am .of you, Dad. Dads

[LI WAILING]

.Son

[MOURNFUL WAILING]

[HUMMING]

[LOW ROAR]

.Do your thang

!Ha

!Yah

[GRUNTS]

[ROARS]

[BOTH STRAINING]

.We gotta protect Nu Hai

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS]

!Yah

[EXCLAIMING]

[GRUNTING]

[PANTS]

!Aah

[GRUNTING]

[EXCLAIMS]

!Uh, Nu Hai

If you're gonna get ,that thing out of the city !maybe hurry up a little

Hey, I'm getting ...to that, Bao, and

!Oh

[YELLS]

[STRAINING]

[ALL GRUNT]

[EXCLAIMS]

[EXCLAIMING]

[SCREAMING]

[PANTING]

.LAUGHING] Sweet]

Looks like we're .gonna need a ride

FAN TONG: This doesn't .feel safe at all

You have no idea how lucky you are !to be controlling this body

!It's a temple

Well, the temple .has a muffin top

SCOFFING] Maybe 'cause] I haven't been to the gym !in over five hundred years

?Ever think of that

,Now remember the Wellspring is concentrated .in that giant hunk of red jade

,We destroy the red jade

then we save China .and end the drought

.I hope

.Well, I'm inspired

[ROARS]

They don't look .too happy to see us

[GRUNTS ANGRILY]

Uh, okay. Everybody might .want to hold on extra tight

!FAN TONG: Oh, gosh .I'm so afraid to ask

[GRUNTS LOUDLY]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[GROANS]

!Deja-whoa

,NU HAI: Master Po, quick .put this on

.You're the Dragon Master

,We're running out of time

and your kung fu .is much stronger than mine

.No. This is your fight

.You got this

.Thank you, Master Po

.Fight now. Thank me later

[ROARS]

[LOW GROWL]

[EXCLAIMS]

[GRUNTING]

[Yah! [EXCLAIMS

[GRUNTS]

[YELLS]

[ROARS]

?EXCLAIMS] Hmm]

!Aah

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTING]

[EXCLAIMING]

[GROANS, GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

[YELLS]

!Yah

[GRUNTING]

There's too flipping .many of them

?How do we get them to stop

.FAN TONG: The Red Jade

Nu Hai, they're gonna keep coming

until we take out that !giant demon's Red Jade

[NU HAI EXCLAIMS] !GRUNTING] Oh]

Easier said !than done, Fan Tong

[GRUNTING]

[YELLS]

!Now, Nu Hai

!Hit her in the Red Jade

[ROARS]

!Aah

!No, no, no

!No shrinking !Stop the shrinkage

[LAUGHING]

[GASPS]

[GRUNTING]

?Are you kidding me

.I'm just gonna say it !Your timing is awful

I ain't as spry .as I used to be

These things happen .as you get older

.Goodbye, old friend

[LAUGHING WICKEDLY] !Aah

[SCREAMING]

.Oh, boy

[LAUGHING WICKEDLY]

?What's the deal ?Why isn't she doing anything

She's just standing there .like a weirdo

Isn't she gonna step on us ?and smush us

I always try to hope for the best ,in these situations

but there's a very good chance

she has something .much worse planned for us

,Way to stay positive !Master Po

.Ugh, forget this crud

!Hey, lady! Yo ?What's up with you

?What are you looking at

Why wouldn't you just squash us ?right now, Rust Bucket? Huh

You, and your students are .from the humblest of origins

.You're nothing but lowly pandas

Whoa, some of us .less-lowly than others

Your rise has given .the citizens of China hope

,And when I snuff you out

that hope will be .snuffed out as well

?What ?What

[ROARING]

?What is this madness

.Don't look at me

I'm just as confused .as you are right now

Yes, this certainly took .a surprising turn

Once again, I have proved ,my incredible intellect !cunning and courage

Is it wrong that I ?still kinda hate him

!We are warriors

!We dig

[YELLING]

!Whoa

[SQUEALS IN DELIGHT]

You see, in a remarkable ...change of heart, I

[ALL GASP] !Oh

[YELLS]

[ROARS]

!Attack

[YELLING]

[ROARS]

[EXCLAIMING]

[YELLING]

[EXCLAIMING]

[Yah! [GRUNTS

!Aah

These jabronies .aren't giving up

[GRUNTS]

!Yah

Can you guys get me close ?to that giant icky thing

.Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm

[YELLING]

[GRUNTS ANGRILY]

[EXCLAIMING]

!Here we go

[EXCLAIMS]

[BAO YELLS] [ROARS]

!BAO: Stupid demon

[EXCLAIMS]

[GRUNTING]

[EXCLAIMS]

[SCREAMING]

[STRAINING]

?You good

.Yeah, I'm good

[PANTING]

[GASPS]

.Oh, thank you, Fan Tong .You are a true hero

[SOFTLY] .My thighs are sweating

[LAUGHING]

You are seriously .the funniest and the bravest

[Huh? [WHIMPERS

[CLICKING TONGUE]

.Mmm

[CLAMORING]

[EXCLAIMING, YELLS]

,Per our deal .here's your crown, guy

.Oh, you're too kind

And it looks like the folks who sent me

to help you .made the right choice

?Who sent you

?Ha! Does it even matter now

.I just go where I'm sent

.Except when I don't

,You do realize you're, like ?super annoying, right

!Help! Someone help

.It's okay, Shi Long

.This is fine

.We're gonna fix you

.I don't deserve to be fixed

,Deserve it or not .you're my sister

.I'll always be here for you

.I got this

?How stupid can you be

You would save this vile blaggard !after all her tomfoolery

.It's what I do, bubba .I heal people

[YELLS]

[GROANING WEAKLY]

[GROANS]

[EXCLAIMS]

[LAUGHING]

Thank you for forgiving .and exonerating me

?"Exonerate"

LAUGHS] Oh, no, you are] .so going to jail

.I mean, you're my sister

,But you're still in .literally, a ton of trouble

[STRAINING]

,Okay, everybody .you should be safe now

Don't everyone .thank me at once

I told you we'd all get there .when we got there, haters

!Oh! Ah

.Wow, what a mess

!Grandma !Grandma, you're okay

.So good to see you, too I mean, I was more .worried about myself

.Yep, I'm still living !But still, you're okay

!They ain't got me yet

[LOW GROWL]

[MOLES CHANTING] !All hail Glorious Bao !All hail Glorious Bao

SIGHS] He's gonna be] .a nightmare to deal with now

.Well, more of a nightmare

Just be happy you don't share .a room with him

?Uh, guys

,Sorry to interrupt ?but this is concerning, right

Remember what I said about Red Jade being

highly unstable ?and very explosive

.Well, I'll be in touch

If there's anything !left of you. Good luck

.Holy underpants

:NU HAI ...Okay, we just need to

[EXCLAIMING]

Boys! I still need !to be moistened

[SQUEALS IN DELIGHT]

[CHUCKLING]

!Oh, hey, you're not a mirror

.Nope. I'm your best friend

[SIGHING]

[SIGHING]

[LAUGHING] !Yeah

!Yes

[ALL CHEERING]

ZHIZHU: Well, I suppose .I'm out of a job

The chi of the planet is no longer concentrated .in the Wellspring

It's exploded .all over the place

,Chi belongs to everyone now

not just pandas .and kung fu masters

So, what's next ?for you, Zhizhu

.I'm finally free

All that's left for me to do now is to find

a freakishly huge ,immortal spider

.who's single and down to clown

[CHEERING]

,As a token of our gratitude

as well as our world-famous ,Panda Village civic pride

.we present these medals to you

.You know what? I can wait

.Let Fan Tong go first

.Hey, I taught you that

!I taught him that

.That's our son

You will all be expected .to help me rear him

.BAO: "Bravery, it can't be taught, you know

Sure, every band needs" .a charismatic lead singer

".But the drummer and the tambourine player deserve a little credit, too"

[ALL CHEERING]

.No one can do it alone"

We all need" .a little help sometimes

".Nobody is perfect"

,Don't worry, Shi Long

in another couple of years ,when I trust you again

we can probably lose the cage .and switch to shackles

[Yay, sisters! [GIGGLING

BAO: "And even the biggest screw-ups can redeem themselves

to become the heroes" ".they were meant to be

My life as a criminal .mastermind is over

This dashing scoundrel !is going legit

We can't break up !the gang, boss

Oh! We got an extra .mouth to feed

.One of us is pregnant

Sorry, boys, your alpha dog is turning over a new leaf

...and I'm going

Ohh! Look at all that !beautiful corn

Boss, you talking about a corn heist

after everything you just said ?about going clean

!You ignominious dunces

We are not going .to steal the corn

We are just going to eat as much of it

as we can get .before we are caught

!Yah

.Yep, the logic checks out

[ALL EXCLAIM]

We give thanks to the mighty god

of the Wasteland .who saved our land

!All hail glorious Bao

!ALL: All hail glorious Bao

.BAO: "Which, I guess, means bravery actually can be taught

?LAUGHS] "Who knew]

Especially when you have" .a great teacher

He also taught me" .how to be humble

Which is hard for someone" .as awesome as I am

".The end"

[CHEERING]

Bao and Friends will return ,in "The Tao of Bao Three ".Apocalypse Bao

[GASPS] [SIGHS]

?Really, Bao ?Really

I don't know why I expected .anything different

?You guys ready

[GRUNTS]

.PO: There's still a ton of adventures out there

And I can't wait to see .what comes next

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]