Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

JADE TUSK: Shi Long's Guards .were closing in fast

And there were too many .to take on myself

...I'm no use to Xiao captured

so I had no other choice .but to escape

?PO: And Xiao refused to leave

.That just doesn't make sense

JADE TUSK: She believes Shi Long has the power

?NU HAI EXCLAIMING] Huh] .to destroy the entire kingdom

!We have to save Xiao

We're no use to Xiao .captured, either

There's an underground .water system down this way

,If we follow it .I bet it'll lead us outside

!ROOSTER: No way! Nu-uh !Not happening

I am not !following you anymore

My fearless gang !and I are out

?We are ?We are

What? Don't you want ?to help save the Empress

?Save China ?Maybe even the world

.ROOSTER: Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho

I believe I have done more .than my fair share of saving

I have risked fluff and feather

getting you all out of .some pretty sticky situations

But did I even get !a thank you note? No

You are the one who got us !into those sticky situations

!Cart died because of you He had his whole life .ahead of him

!See? Under appreciated !Well, no longer

I do not need that kind .of negativity in my life

,From now on I only look out !for numero uno

.And these two, I guess

.Aw, gee, thanks, boss

...Sayonara

!ROOSTER: Ingrates

?Should we try to stop them

.No. Wait. Don't go

.Didn't work

:MALE CHOW GUARD .This is the last place to check

[ALL GASPING] !Run

Have I told you how proud ?I am of you

.Oh, Daddy

.Stop, please .I don't deserve it

.I don't deserve any of it

.I'm not ready to be Empress

,Dear daughter

you are stronger .than you realize

,But what if ...now hear me out

What if you stay Emperor ?for a little while longer

Just until I've had .more training

Two, maybe three hundred ?more years

Or better yet, Shi Long --would make

.No, dear

China needs a ruler that .is not cruel and unyielding

But one who is kind .and receptive

.That is you

.Oh, thank you, Daddy

:EMPEROR KANG .It's time to wake up now

?Wait, what

[XIAO PANTING]

?EXCLAIMS] Fan Tong]

[Huh? [SIGHS

,First, my dead father visits me ?then my, my dead best friend

?Who next, cruel world ?My mother

,My childhood imaginary friend ?Weird Eric

.Oh, weird Eric

!Oh, you were taken too soon [CRYING]

FAN TONG: The guards !are gaining on us

[GRUNTING]

:GRANDMA .Outta my friggin' way

,Jade Tusk ...I just want to say

?Will you get going

[NU HAI EXCLAIMING] !Hiyah

.Come on

Get ready to fetch .some fist, doggies

:BAO !Fan Tong, let's go

,Ha, ha. So long .emotional support dorks

!Bye !Good luck

!Mama

[ALL SCREAMING]

NU HAI: There's a light !at the end of the tunnel

.Nice optimism, Nu Hai

.Oh, an actual light

.That can't be good

[ALL SCREAMING]

?How you doin', Po

?Huh

.Oh, not again. Again

!Oh, it's that turtle guy

You have a lot of !explaining to do, Mister

!NU HAI: No way

?The Master Oogway

I get to meet ?the Master Oogway

CHUCKLES] That so makes up] .for being dead

Yeah, who needs life

when there's a musty old turtle .to hang out with

,If this is the Spirit Realm ?where's my husband

.He owes me money

?FAN TONG: Master Oogway

Sorry, I don't mean ,to overstep

but have you always had ?a monkey tail

.Not judging, just asking

?Huh

,SUN WUKONG: Ha, ha !you got me

[SCREAMING]

[CLEARS THROAT]

What are you doing ?in the Spirit Realm

Yeah, well, funny story We're not actually .in the Spirit Realm

!This is just a regular beach

.Better question What have you guys been doing to get yourselves

on the bad side of ?the government

!We were framed

.For most of that stuff

.Okay, your turn

,Yeah ?what are you doing here

.Seriously !Yeah

.All right, all right [SLURPING]

.Enough with the third degree

.Full disclosure

[SLURPING]

!Aw, come on

It's no coinkydink we keep bumping .into each other

Now, I know some of you are familiar with ...the White Bone Demon

.Ugh, not this again

What does a mythical evil spirit ?have to do with this

[Mythical?" [SCOFFS"

She's no more .mythical than I am

And she and I have .a bit of a history

:ANNOUNCER Sun Wukong versus .the White Bone Demon

!Round one. Fight

SON WUKONG: She made the mistake of trying .to steal my soul

I defeated her with .my epic fighting skills

And also the help of .my magical crown

And plunged her demon spirit .deep into the earth's core

:ANNOUNCER !Sun Wukong wins

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

,Wait a minute you're saying

the White Bone Demon story ?Rooster told us was real

!Of course it was real !Now quit interrupting

!ANNOUNCER: Round two

,SUN WUKONG: Years later I stumbled upon the .mythical Red Jade Mine

,But before I could even touch one tiny nugget

,all the jade was stolen .along with my crown

The gods blamed me .for taking the jade

.I had to find worthy warriors to help me get it back

,Yada yada yada .and here we are

But, the White Bone Demon .can't be working alone

,She doesn't have a body so she can't exactly ?steal, see

?Now, who could it be? Hmm

?Who could it be

!It's gotta be Shi Long

!Geesh! Finally

?Excuse me

I heard pandas ...were slow but

?Why didn't you stop her

The White Bone Demon !has my crown

It's the whole reason I was strong enough to defeat her !in the first place

Well, you could have given us !a little heads up

Would you have ?helped me if I had

!Yeah- .I guess-

!No

.Well, too late now

?So what do we know

We know Shi Long .has a large Terra Cotta Army

Which is being powered .by Red Jade

?Power an army

Red Jade can't do that .on its own

,It's a powerful conductor but it needs a source .to conduct

Oh, what about ?the Wellspring

?The legendary Wellspring

The source of all light and life ?in the Universe

.I'd say that'd do it

Then it's a good thing the Wellspring is safe and sound ...in Panda Village

?What

?You didn't tell him

.Uh, Son. The Wellspring

.It, uh, was stolen

Right out from ?under our panda noses!What

!Seriously? You had one job

If the lizard lady has the chi infused Red Jade

that's enough to power an army

and create a pathway from the Realm of the Dead

straight into !the Physical Realm

So, we have to stop Shi Long .before she can even start

As long as the White Bone Demon stays out of our realm

.we should be fine

ROOSTER: My instincts .are never wrong

.Just a few more small steps

!You said that an hour ago

So then there will be ,even fewer small steps ?now won't there

[CLUCKS]

[WHIMPERING]

[ALL WHIMPERING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

.NU HAI: No, no [GROANS]

?Hey, Nu Hai

.It's no use, Master Po .I'm out of good ideas

Maybe it was just a fluke that those other plans .worked out anyway

Maybe I'm not cut ...out for this. Maybe

You know who ?you remind me of

?You

[CHUCKLES] .No, Tigress

?I do

Yeah. She would stress out .coming up with plans, too

.But they always worked

Eventually, she learned .to stop stressing

Me, I'm more of .a act before I think kinda guy

-A fly-by-the-seat-of-my .burlap-pants type

.A pantser, if you will

That's why Tigress and I .made such a good team

.Just like you and me

,Wow, Master Po .that means a lot

.I mean, Tigress is my idol

.Oh. Um. Ouch

.Okay, well, good feedback

!Ooh, I got an idea

Yeah, I'm sure Tigress .would be proud

.If she were here .Which she isn't

.I am, though

But she's the one who ...taught you Kung Fu

.Oh, wait, that was me

.Good morning, Xiao

.We must begin the preparations ,It's quite the big day .you know

Don't worry, all the usual pomp and circumstance

will proceed with only .a few minor adjustments

There is one very important .thing, though

Right before your furry little tail can grace ,the royal throne

you must address your people and tell them .you are unfit to rule

[GRUNTS]

.Good girl

Now, I've taken the liberty of preparing a speech for .you to memorize

Just a little something to let the people know .I'll be taking over

You are gonna look so cute .when you abdicate

:NU HAI !Okay, everybody, listen up

I'm pretty wired on fermented coconut juice, so bear with me .if I talk too fast

I stayed up all night preparing these classic cons .for our mission

,I'd say we're looking at a Hero a Humiliation, two Sichuan Twelves, two Blue Flowers

and not to mention the biggest .Pekingese Surprise ever

.Hmm

Well, Jade Tusk clearly knows what each of these .plans entails

And, of course, clearly .I do too, no question

But just for the sake ,of these noobs

,just to be safe, I mean ...why don't you walk us

?I mean, them through it

NU HAI: Jing and I will sneak into the Empress' Ceremonial Procession

on its way to the enthronement

and convince Xiao .not to abdicate

.No, no, no. All wrong

!You must glide, glide

NU HAI: When Xiao gets to the Palace

.a disguised Bao and Fan Tong will already be in the crowd

.We hear you sell disguises

Yeah, and not just to .the ugly people

NU HAI: Once Xiao ,is officially Empress

Master Po will find a way .to create a diversion

.Darkness

?Who am I

Well, she's definitely .a diversion

,NU HAI: Mr. Ping, Li and Grandma will sneak .Xiao out of the palace

.We need some intel

.And we also need your cart

NU HAI: Meanwhile, Jade Tusk and her Monks will destroy .the Terra Cotta Warriors

Then we'll all meet back up at the Plum Blossom Temple

and wait for this whole .thing to blow over

!It's perfect

[GRUNTING]

.Psst, Nu Hai, look

The fan dancers weren't !supposed to be armed

.You're right .Well, we tried planning

.Now let's try pantsing

.Follow my lead

[GRUNTS]

?Huh

[GROWLING]

[GRUNTING]

[WHIMPERING]

.Excuse me, pardon me, sorry

.Xiao, it's Nu Hai

?Xiao

?Huh

!Oh, boy

,Aw, man !we gotta get closer

!Excuse me, pardon me

.Sorry

Why are you donning masks ?of known and wanted criminals

We're the entertainment .for the Empress

Yeah, we're here to show how dumb the Four .Constellations are

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] .I'm Nu Hai

I'm totally jealous of my hot brother Bao .and his 'it' factor

!Yeah! And I'm Jing

I'm in an existential bad mood all the time because of an emotional darkness

stemming from a bad !childhood nap

[LAUGHS] .It's funny 'cause it's true

.You can go

!There's the Empress

!No, there's the Empress

,If she's up there that means Nu Hai and Jing .couldn't get to her

?Huh

?When did you get so brave

[GASPS]

!Fan Tong

!You're alive

I mean, sure Fan Tong's ,alive and all ,but more importantly

Bao is alive ...and ready to

[SOBBING] ?Are you crying

.No

?Emotions

.Ah, this is all you, FT

.I'm so glad to see you

,But you have to leave .it's not safe

We know you're going to give up .the throne to Shi Long

...What? How did you

.You don't understand

There are bigger things .to worry about

.No, you don't understand

An Empress is supposed to .protect her people

And giving Shi Long the throne .is the only way to do that

...But, Xiao

!Not now, Bao

I'm not trying to get between .you guys this time, I swear

.Guards coming this way .We gotta move now

.Don't do it, Xiao !Don't abdicate

.It's time, Empress

.I'm sorry

[HUMMING NERVOUSLY]

Just your regular caterer .doing cater-y things

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

It worked! I knew !we could do it

[MR. PING YELLING]

[ALL GROWLING]

.You spoke too soon, nitwit

,I realize that now and I deeply regret .how soon I spoke

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS]

[GROWLING]

[BOTH EXCLAIM]

[GASPS]

?Huh

!Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

!Empress, over here !Empress

Where's Master Po ?with that diversion

I don't know, we just gotta .trust he'll come through

[GRUNTING]

[YELLS]

!We did it. We beat 'em

!I knew we could do it

[DOOR SLAMS OPEN] [GUARDS GRUNTING]

?Seriously? Again

.Oh, boy

Thank you so much for being here to celebrate .this most auspicious day

.It means the world to me

[ALL CHEERING]

,As many of you know the royal advisor Shi Long

has been more than .just an advisor

.She's been my best friend .And my sister

While I use my time to write emotional song lyrics

and pursue a degree ,in art history

I can only hope she will rule China with the same love and care

.she's shown me all these years

,Effective immediately

...I abdicate

?What's that [GASPS]

?How y'all doing tonight

[EXCLAIMS]

[GROANING]

[THUDDING]

,Not what I expected .but it works

!PO: Stop

.We can't let this go on

Shi Long was gonna make the Empress give up her throne

for some nefarious purpose I'm not all that sure .about exactly

But I'm pretty sure there's an evil army .that's being powered by chi

.So that's definitely not good

!Master Po is right

[ALL GASPING] ?What did she say

These are quite harsh ,accusations, Master Po

especially coming from .the likes of you

.You're right

,But, wait, what do you mean "?the likes of you"

You and your students have been ravaging .this country

All that power has gone .to your heads

!Citizens

Before you stand .the real enemies

They have been using their powers to create the drought

and then hijacking the dirigibles of provisions we've .been sending across China

It's true, I have been .raising an army

To protect all of you

.from them

,Guards !release the protectors

[TRUMPETS BLOWING]

[WHIMPERING]

[YELLING]

[SCREAMING]

Take these traitors .into custody