Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

:FAN TONG We were so close to finding out

who sent that deer lady with the moldy tooth .to poison Master Po

Yeah, until Butterfingers blasted her chi .all over the place

...I already told you ding-dongs

I don't know why my chi got loose when we were !shaking down Toothy Magee

!Bring it, Mama

,PO: Guys, guys [cut Jing some slack![BOTH FIGHTING

Even the best of us can suffer from a little .chi leakage sometimes

Nobody could have seen .that coming

But it does bring us ,to today's lesson !The Element of Surprise

.Great topic, Master Po

!Think fast NU HAI: Just yesterday !I was... Ow

[ALL LAUGH]

...What the

!You almost hit my dimple

Even the best kung fu fighters .can get hung up on the rules

They forget that sometimes ,in the real world .the rules don't apply

,So in other words we have to expect .the unexpected

!Ow

[GIGGLING]

.That's enough

[ALL GIGGLING]

[GRUNTS AND GASPS]

!Ow

[GIGGLING]

[GASPS]

?You feeling okay, Jing

.I'm fine

?Can we just get home please

Well, I'm pretty sure .I got enlightened yesterday

You ever wonder ?if you're just dead inside

[THUD, METAL CLINKING]

[DOOR BANGS]

Master, thank you for helping me to escape .the Pandas' truth serum ploy

?Nifty trick, eh

Lucky for you my connection to the weird angry panda .is so strong

!Huifang! More light

!Coming, Master Jindiao [THUD]

[GRUNTS]

,The mural is most impressive .your excellency

Now my followers may know the true scope .of my thousand-year quest

And now that I have ,re-gained the pandas' trust .luring them to me will be easy

But, Master, you are not yet strong enough .to handle their chi

.You are correct. I am not

?And if Po discovers the truth You cannot defeat him .as you are

.Correct again. I cannot

.Then we must wait

.On the contrary, Jade Tusk

.We cannot move fast enough

.Ah

[GASPS]

Master Po, maybe we should ?stop here for the night

!PO: Here? No way

That inn is filled with some of the most ...violent, disgusting

and horrible criminals !you could ever find

,On the other hand Jing seems to be in a lot of pain

and I have read good things .about their buffet

[HYPERVENTILATING]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[SPLASH, THUD]

PO: How about ,an order of dumplings

,some noodles ,a plate of sweet-buns .and twelve rice balls

.And then whatever the kids want

,I'm sorry .we're all out of those items

Okay, then just bring us .whatever ya got

Master Po, do you think ?Jing's going to be okay

!Yeah, she'll be fine .This is a great place to rest

[THULP]

[SIGHING HEAVILY]

?Huh

.Ah, ah

.Get to the Plum Blossom Temple .You will be safe there

I must get to .the Plum Blossom Temple .I will be safe there

.There is no time to waste

.Let nothing stop you

[SCREAMING]

[PANTING]

SUYIN: Charred crickets .in spicy maggot sauce

.Ohh ,Looks, ha, ha .scrumptious

!SUYIN: Bone appetit

[GAGGING]

.Not gonna lie, kids

It's the worst thing .I've ever experienced .And I've died once

!Must you slurp so loudly

[BELCHES]

.Sorry, boss Our mother didn't teach us .how to slurp quiet

How is it a genius like me, got stuck ?with a couple of dopes like you

?You don't remember It was that day ...we met in a cave

,and you said "?Hey, wanna be in my gang"

?Would you keep it down

[SIGHS]

We are here to raise our stature .in the criminal community

All the important thieves .are here

We just need to do something .that will get us noticed

.Whatever you need, boss

!BIFF] He-ey]

.BIFF] Hey]

,Not like that !you wart-laden dum-dums

It's gotta be someone .high profile

.A big fish that we can take on

[DISH BREAKING]

.Or a big panda

[SIGHS, GRUNTS]

ROOSTER: If it isn't !Dragon Master Po himself

My cohorts and I are members .of a new and promising gang

.We don't have a name yet

But I'm leaning towards !the Rooster Brothers

!Or the Sunshine Boys

!Would you dum-dums shut it

We'd like to challenge you .to a fight

[ALL GASP]

.All righty

?What's the matter, Po? Chicken

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

?What's that supposed to mean

!Shut it

!Oh, I'd really love to Except I'm not .the Dragon Master

?Wait, what ?You're not Dragon Master Po

!He gets that all the time

.I'm just an average panda

,With very average panda friends .as you can see

,You know .some more average than others

,Oh, well

...Don't I ?don't I feel like a fool .Yet another humiliation

!Let's go

.Phew, that was close

.And weird

.JING: I'm ready to go

?You feeling better, Jing

.I'm a hundred percent We must get .to Plum Blossom Temple

.Cop a squat, kid ...We haven't finished our

[SLURPING]

,Food. Ohh .that's not going to sit well

.We should go now, Master Po

"?Master Po"

!ROOSTER: You lying pandas

How dare you toy ?with my trustful nature

,I didn't wanna do this !but you leave me no choice

[WHISTLING] ?Uh

[THUD, SLAP, BIFF]

Oh, it burns almost !as bad as it tastes!Hey

You can't do that !to Master Po

...Yeah, you want to fight him

you're going to have to get through us !above-average pandas first

!That works for me

!Come at me, wart face

[COUGHS]

!PO: My eyes are melting

!That is not regulation kung fu [THUD]

.Come on, at least fight clean [GIGGLING]

?Ow! What's happening ?Are you kicking their butts ?Need me to step in

,No, sir we have everything ...under contro

.They are delayed by idiot thugs .My patience is wearing thin

[PECK, PECK] [STARTLED]

[THUD, THUD]

.BINGWEN: My inn !You've ruined it [ARGH]

,Seriously, dude .if anything, we improved it

,Get out of here !you mangy pandas

!Jing! No

[Ahh. [SIGHS

Looks like it's check-out time [for us anyway. [GIGGLES

Why don't we take Jing's advice and head for ?the Plum Blossom Temple

.Thank you for your hospitality

We'll be sure to leave you !a wonderful review

Wasn't that Dragon Master Po ?and his students

.Bet they'd bring a nice ransom !Let's get 'em

Me and my gang picked a fight !with him first

!We want a piece of him too

We have some guests .headed our way

.Prepare rooms for their arrival

,Will they be with us long ?Your Excellency

.Not long at all

[PANTING]

?How's she doing, Fan Tong

.JING: I'm fine

And quit talking about me !like I'm not here

.It's okay, Master Po

Jing's anger is helping distract me from how .freaked out I am right now

.We're almost there I can see the lights .of the temple just ahead

!Bao's right, I see it too

Everything's going .to be okie-dokie

?Or will it, Master Po

!Ahem

Prepare to get your butts kicked by me and my soon-to-be !relevant gang

What are you gonna ?throw at me this time

?A pickled radish ?Some sweet sticky buns

I would've preferred .the sweet sticky buns

[THUD, BAM, BIFF, SLAP]

?Yeah! Is that all you got

.I guess not

!All right, bring it on, baby

?Flying powder puffs

!It's an adorable nightmare

!Po! Children! Come quickly

!Grand Abbot Jindiao

.Thank you, Grand Abbot .We're so grateful for your help

.Super rad digs, by the way

I saw those terrible bandits .attacking you ?Is no place safe anymore

?Are you unharmed

.We're okay

.But Jing's not doing so hot

.I'm fine .I'm just not feeling myself

.I know how you feel .Really, I do

Take our esteemed guest to the infirmary where she can .be treated for exhaustion

And show the children .to the sleeping quarters

Hey, Grand Abbot, you're a wise .and, no offense, old sage

I was thinking we could grab a late night snack .and chat about stuff

Like, do you know anything ?about an Original Dragon Master

There will be .plenty of time for that, Po .Now you must rest

But I'd really love to bend ...your tiny ear holes about

.Have a good night's sleep, Po

.It's the last you'll ever have

:PIKA MONK 1 ,Grand Abbot Jindiao

we were able to .capture some of the bandits

Shall we deliver them ?to the authorities

.That won't be necessary

I'll bring them to my prayer room and speak .privately with them there

You ain't getting nothing !out of me

I'll find a way .to connect with you .Believe me

Is it just me, or is anyone else ?troubled by his tone

[GASPS] !Shh

!It's just me

Nu Hai? I hate when you interrupt my beauty sleep .like that

Someone was creeping .around our beds .Wake Fan Tong

No need! I can't sleep when there's creepy .whispering happening

I saw which way .the shadow went !Let's go

[GRUMBLING]

!Come on ?Can't you wait until morning

[TUMMY GROWLING]

.All right, all right ,I'll find you a snack

but after that we are going back ?to sleep, capeesh

[LONGER GRUMBLE]

[ALL GRUNT]

[ALL WHEEZING AND PANTING]

[STARTLED GASPING]

[GASPS]

It's that creepy !green tooth lady

!This is weird. Come on

Can anyone direct me ?to the cafeteria

I get why they'd hide it with all those rodents .running around

,I guess ,technically they're vermin .but this seems like overkill

[SCREAMS, THUD]

[MOANS]

!BANG] Ow]

.Okay, so not the cafeteria

!Ow! Ow, ow, ow

!Whoa

,For 1000 years" "...I have suffered

,I have suffered in obscurity .hiding my true form

.Sustaining myself with the chi of lesser beings

[SCREAMS]

The Four Constellations ...tried to stop me once

by trapping my soul .in a Spirit Urn

.They failed And the Spirit Urn .was lost to time

And when I have captured the chi ...of all four constellations

and claimed the Wellspring ...as my own

I shall regain .my true dragon form

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

,So sayeth I" ".the One True Dragon Master

"?Jindiao"

,Kids! We gotta wake up !we gotta go

.JING: Master Po ?STARTLED] What]

.Oh, Jing ...You're gonna give me a ?Where are the others

?How should I know I've been ?out of commission, remember

.Ohh, this isn't good

!Stop right there .Don't make us hurt you

.We're taking you to Master Po

Yeah, you're going to have .a lot of explaining to do

?Like why is your tooth green

I admit I've been entertained .by your antics

.I will almost miss them

!Guards

.ROOSTER: This is just a setback

As soon as we get out ,of these shackles !you better watch out

I do so enjoy .your irrational optimism

It helps to sweeten the flavor .of your measly mortal chi

It's barely worth the energy it takes .to harvest it

.Oh, what the heck !Let's do it

!Run

,Thanks. But if anyone asks can you just say ?we kicked your butt

!Jeez, just go !I'm going

...As for you, Jindiao

!No

!I won't let you hurt her

?Hurt her .I wouldn't dream of it

!She's my greatest ally

.Ahh, ohh

...Jing! What are you

?Incredible, isn't she

.Jing, I won't fight !I don't want to hurt you

.Ahh, ah

JINDIAO: Apologies for the lack .of seating

My guests generally don't .spend much time here

[SCREAMS]

Mind you, don't fall out .the moon-door .It's a bit of a drop

?Have you any last words

I'd love to add them .to my murals

.Jing. You can fight him

!PO:I know you're in there, Jing

Master Po and Jing !are down here

.I got this

!Hey, Fangzilla! Think fast

!Get back here

!Come on

!Get off me

.Fight him, Jing. You can do it

.No. Ahh

,I'm doing it! I'm beating him !Master Po ...And if

,If you believe that then you're an even !bigger fool than I thought

?Neat trick, isn't it .And I'm just getting started

.But enough about me

Let's talk about you .giving me your chi

I will never .let you take my chi

.Oh, don't worry, Po I'm not yet strong enough .to take your chi

.But she is

You should have .fought back harder

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

.Ahh, ah

[All GASP]

,Good-bye .so-called Dragon Master

!Master Po

[SCREAMING]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]