Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

RETCHING, SQUIRMING] [AND SCREAMING

[WHEEZING AND COUGHING]

Anyways, yeah, that's basically what your soup did .to my guts, Dad

.It was a nightmare in there .Trust me

Well... Those symptoms .are familiar

?Really

Somebody messed .with my soup

?You're sure about this

Positive. I've got a beak .for these kind of things

[EXPLOSION] [STARTLED GASP]

.Xing-Sum tongue powder

.A rare herbal blend

No color, no taste, only .the faintest of odors

:MR. PING .Don't forget deadly

.LI: Yes, it can be fatal

You're saying someone ...in the village tried to

...Yes

.Poison you

?What are you looking at

.I don't know

Pandas are not known .for their skill at alchemy

[STRAINING]

,This blend, in order to work .had to be mixed by an expert

:LI ...Probably someone from

.Tuoluo

?Tuolu-wha

.The Tuoluo Market The caravan oasis .about a day's journey from here

Sounds like a good place .to start looking for answers

,And while you're gone we'll handle the internal ...village investigation

.To see if anyone knows anything

.Bust some heads

Really crack this case .wide open

[SNIFFLING] And find out who's responsible .for Cart's untimely murder

...You will be

[SCREAMING] !Avenged

"?Beware the Dragon Master"

What the heck's ?that supposed to mean

!I don't know !That's just what it says

Did the first Dragon Master

really turn on ?the Four Constellations

:FAN TONG .But why? That's so mean

...According to this [JING MOANING]

the Dragon Master was driven mad ...by his Golden Chi

.and his thirst for more power

The Four Constellations were gonna use this thing called a ...Spirit Urn

.to capture his evil soul

[URN BURPS]

We need to ask Master Po .and see what he thinks

.He'll know what to do

:JING .Po has Golden Chi

?What if Po turns evil too

?What did you just say

:BAO ?What the heck's wrong with Jing

.What? Nothing. Get off my back .I'm fine

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

[It works. [GRUNTING

.Truly remarkable A chi-connection like this ...hasn't been made in

.Ever, Jade Tusk

,A demon is one thing but to take control ...of a mortal child

.it has never been done in ever

?But how, Master

It appears I received

some of the angry ...weird one's healing chi

.when she saved me

,Once I'm finished infecting her ...she'll contaminate the others

and they'll turn against their .Master Po

This girl may prove to be .the key to everything

[MAKING KUNG FU SOUNDS]

!NU HAI: Master Po! Wait

You missed !our morning lesson ?Where were you

.Can't chat right now, guys .Sorry. Got a lot goin' on

,JING: Hold on, jefe .we want answers

Later. I've got some super important Dragon Master business .to take care of

!Great! We can come with you Do you need help ?solving a mystery

I'm really good at problem ...solving, analytical thinking

!and puzzles, I love puzzles

!What? No .No, you need to stay here

.It's just a boring errand ...So, so boring, like

I mean boring, boring, like eyes ...rolling in your head

drool coming out of your lips boring. It's just gonna be ?boring, okay

[SCREAMING]

I think he's hiding something .from us

[THUDDING]

!PO: Don't worry. I'm good

[OWL HOOTING] [GASPS]

[PANTING]

[WHISPERING] .Guys, the fire's down

!Nu Hai? Bao? Fan Tong

[FIGHTING NOISES]

!I'm coming

?Nu Hai, are you okay

[MOANING]

!You were right, he's a monster

!Sorry, gang

?Master Po

!Official Dragon Master business

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

!SCREAMING] No]

:NU HAI !Jing! Wake up! Wake up

!No! We need to bury her

That'll keep her quiet !so Master Po doesn't hear

?So Master Po doesn't hear what

!Nu Hai told me to !No, I didn't

!Yeah, you did .Oh, yeah

NU HAI: Like I told you ?to bury my friend, right

!Enough !You deliberately disobeyed me

You're in the middle of the .woods without supervision

You put each other's lives in ?danger! Am I missing anything

[SCREAMING]

Did you get the part about ?burying Jing in a shallow grave

.Yes, I was here for that

PO: I told you guys

it wasn't safe !to leave the village

...Right, we did hear that

but then we thought it was

a good chance to get some ?real world Kung Fu training

Yeah, and isn't it good for kids ...to spend time in nature

?and some other junk

.Fine. You can come with me

[ALL CHEERING]

!But this is educational !I don't want anybody having fun

.Now get some sleep .You're gonna need it

[NU HAI WHOOPING]

[GASPS]

.Welcome to Tuoluo

Your one-stop shop for ,gangsters, shysters .bilkers and villains

.Better watch your wallets

And don't let the cute ones .out of your sight

...I think I know what I'm !Aw, seriously

.Guys? I'm not sure about this

!BAO: It's perfectly safe !The carnie gave us his word

.No, no, no

.That was terrible

!You stink

!Aw, come on Master Po !That was Fan Tong's big moment

Guys, I'm serious. You can't have arrows and carnies flying !at you

...Well, technically we

.I said no fun allowed

,That means no wandering off .no chi

Just keep your eyes !on the prize

.Oh, yeah

What prize are we talking about ?exactly, Master P

.The Alchemist's tent !Gotta find out who poisoned me

[ALL GASP]

...Oh, uh

I guess this would be a good time to tell you that somebody ...tried to off me

by putting a Dark Chi-potion .in my soup

!Knew it .Likely story

.Great, now I'm afraid of soup

And apparently the tent where he ...sells his dark herbs

.is here in Tuoluoluo

!Hey, this one looks promising

:TUOLUO TRAVELER !Get out of here

[ALL SCREAMING]

!PO: Not promising

[MASSAGING AND CRACKING]

.This is why I come here

.Turn over, hon

.Just to get away from it all

.MEI MEI: Ah, Mei Mei likey

?Mei-Mei

[GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

!Get out of here ?What the heck, guys

!I'm gonna lose my cool, lady

!Get out! Don't look at me !I said don't look at me

.Sorry

What are you guys doing ?in Tuoluo

,What are you doing here ?Mei Mei

I come once a month to get my ...eye circles darkened

,a little cheek work .have my lady-stache bleached

[SHOCKED SCREAM]

.It's not weird

.Yeah, it is

.Right, okay

So do you by any chance know ?where we can find the Alchemist

I mean, yeah, but you can't just .go into the shop

.You need an intro

?Oh, great! Can you introduce us

?Heck, no. You crazy

,Laoshu is a scoundrel ,a swindler .a straight-up gangster

And I'm not putting my life ...on the line

by bringin' in a couple of !newbies with no street cred

Got you. Guess we'll have to .find someone else then, right

...Good luck with your .Whatever you're doing

Hope nobody accidentally finds out about your black market ...beauty secrets

,a little nippy tuck tuck tuck ?know what I mean

[LAUGHING]

.Yeah

.Well played

.Hey, Laoshu

I wanted to introduce you to some Pandas who I totally don't .vouch for at all

,This is, this is Lei, Ying ...Lo

.and his Panda friends

Good luck, gonna go wait !outside, see you, bye

.I got this. Master Lei Ying Lo

.Hello, good sir

[BANGS]

!I am woman

.I now see that

!MR. PING: Li! Li! Li [LI STARTLED GASPING]

Why are we up ?at such an ungodly hour

It's time to find out who !poisoned my son's soup

.Our son

.Yeah, whatever

.Ugh, boy

?Why did you do it

[WAILING]

.Spread 'em

.I am

.Spill it

,This is fun ?can I do the next one

.Go for it

!Come clean, perp

?Who you calling perp !Ow

!She's strong for her age

.MR. PING: Busted

.Squeal, piggy

.Say your prayers

.Confess

!J'accuse

!Talk, dirtbag

...Good cop !Bird cop

!Gotcha

!It's an open and shut case

...Ah, well, that's it

we trampled on the rights ,of the entire village .and come up empty

Yes, and we ruined !so many doors

If only Cart were here .to hold me

He always knew exactly !what to say

[SOBBING]

.Listen, Ping We saw how sad you were .after "Cart" blew up

!Oh, don't remind me

!There will never be another

.There, there, Ping Yet, I was hoping to wait ...until Po got back, but, well

We passed the hat around the village and we all love ...your cooking so much

!and well, we got you a new cart

[CHINESE SONG PLAYING]

I've never said this before ...in my entire life

.to anyone ever

...But

...free noodles

!for everyone

.Dessert still full price

.Watch and learn

...As Mei Mei mentioned

,I'm Lei Ying Lo .just a casual customer

,Much pleasure for acquaintance ...Master Ying Lo

,but I am very busy woman ...and without appointment

,Totally understand .be out of your way in a jiff

Curious, have you recently sold ...any Dark Chi herbs

that could take out a panda with massive muscles, about the same ?size as mine

That is sadly none .of your business

I keep my client information .very private

How often do you swallow ?that key

?You know what .I don't wanna know

But it sounds like you're ...keeping your clients safe

.in the safe

,You know, the old, yeah .the old safe-eroono

.I am bored of your antics .I leave for lunch now

!I could do lunch We can talk 'bigness!'

.I'll be your safe client

!This'll be great

You can put me ...on your mailing list

oh, but you know ...I've got two addresses

Hey, guys, I think he wants us !to break into the safe

.Nice work, Fan Tong

I had this one business ...where I was in charge

of selling all the Furious Five ...action figures

but it didn't work out because I ...was buying my own stuff

and, you know, this is not much .of a lunch spot, Laoshu

,This place is kind of ?it's kind of dead

I have no interest !in your business, Master Po

?How did you know it was me

!I had a hat on and everything

I cannot afford for any Pandas ...or their little friends

to be fishing around the Silk Road for information ...about me

.or my customers ?You understand, don't you

.Not really

!Boys

Master Po, these are some .of my boys

!I have many boys. Boys

.Teeny-tiny heads up

You probably don't want anything !to do with these boys

!Ow

?Wow. What is that, cast iron

Keep your voices down so we .don't get caught by the guards

.Truth serum

.This could come in handy

?Why

?Why what

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're gonna !use that on Master Po

.Hey, you said it, bubba

,But now that you mention it !it's not such a bad idea

Maybe we should find something useful, that could help us get !into this safe

?Can we please stop fighting

!This is boring

I'm gonna prove to you .that Master Po is being honest

By opening that chest and finding out who Laoshu sold .the Dark Chi herbs to

Well, I think it's going to !prove that he's guilty

Why would he have us break into ?a safe if he's guilty

?JING: How would I know ,He's the master criminal !not me

:NU HAI !He's not a criminal !Take that back

!Out of my way, teacher's pet

?Teacher's pet !Well, you're a traitor

!Oh, it's on, bubba

:FAN TONG !Guys, come on! Stop fighting

Hey, guys, one of these !might work

[BUBBLING AND FIZZING]

!Problem! Big big problem

!I tried to warn you

!I'm the Dragon Master !I'm going easy here

.That came from my tent

I'm sure there's a perfectly ...logical explanation for

That's some serious .Trunk-fu, lady

.Finish him off please, boys

!Hold on, lady ...You're not getting

.MOANING] Away]

That was awesome! Did we open ?the safe

!NU HAI: Oh, come on

[RUMBLING] [GASPS]

[TRUMPETING]

[FAN TONG SHRIEKING LIKE A GIRL]

!Guys! Angry Elephant !Coming this way

,You mess with Elephant business .you get the trunk

[PO SCREAMING]

You should pick on someone !your own size

Or at least slightly .bigger than them

Or maybe a little bigger ...than that or, may

!You get it... Let's just fight

!Hang on, kids, I got this

Does that look like someone ?who's about to betray us

...Is she

!Nope! She's not !Okay, she's not

?Can't you stay down, lady

.This is nothing but irritation

Spill it, Laoshu. Who did you ?sell the dark herbs to

All it takes is .just one little word

",It starts with a "S ".and ends with a "kadoosh

No! Wait! I cannot .give you a name

But I can tell you .how to find them

I have prepared a shipment of deadly herbs to be delivered .outside of town

.But you must swear to secrecy

The Kung Fu masters ,I am in business with .their evil knows no limits

.You have my word, Laoshu

On path to Tuoluo, there is old .tree shaped like witch's finger

!Got you

Let's give this dude a little taste of .the Four Constellations

,Love the teamwork, kids but she's already !getting away

!Master Po !Master Po

!She's getting away

,Time for your big moment !Fan Tong

[BAO SCREAMING]

!Yeah

!In your face, snaggletooth

[MOANS]

.It's simple ...You tell us who you work for

.and we let you go

.Maybe. Still haven't decided

I will never betray .my master's trust

.What's that? Couldn't hear you

,Could you say it again louder and with your mouth ?open way wider

...I said I'll nev

[GLUGGING]

?Jing, what are you doing

!It's just truth serum .She wasn't gonna talk

.Oh, okay, cool .Jing terrifies me

?Now tell us, who is your master

.I work for the dragon master

!Whoa, whoa, whoa! Relax, guys

This lady has attacked us a bunch of times! She doesn't work .for me

.JADE TUSK: He speaks the truth

I am loyal to the one true .Dragon Master

?Who is she talking about

I have to do ...everything myself

Who is the one ?true Dragon Master

...The one true Dragon Master is

?What was that

[GASPS]

:NU HAI ?Jing? Are you okay

.I'm not sure .I didn't have control of my chi

?Then who did

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]