Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[MOANS]

?Huh

!What? Aah

!GASPS] Woah]

!LAUGHS] Whoo]

[Yeah! [LAUGHING IN JOY

!Huzzah

!Woo-hoo! Woah! Yeah

!Oh, jeez

[SNARLS]

[GASPS]

[SCREAMING]

[BOTH SNARLING]

[PO SCREAMING]

[MOANS]

.OOGWAY: Oh! Hello, Po

!Ah

I've been meaning .to get a hold of you

PO: What was with ?those dragons up there

:OOGWAY .Dragons don't always get along

.Okay

I feel like there's more to it .than that

Oh! There is. But .you'll learn that in time

I can't help but wonder

why you haven't visited the Temple .of the Four Constellations yet

?What's in the temple ?Something cool

There is a great .evil coming, Po

,If it is not stopped

it will mean the end .of all we hold dear

!Woah, woah ?What's that supposed to mean

[SNARLS]

[GASPS]

[GASPS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

?This is the entrance, huh

What are you ?asking me for, chief .You got that sweet map I drew

?Mm .Mm

!PO: Huh

So how did you get the cave ?to open before

Easy. We ruined a priceless ...Panda Village landmark

.And it crashed through the rock

Yeah. There's gotta be .better options than that

.Hmm. Let me try something

[LAUGHS IN AMUSEMENT]

[BREATHING DEEPLY]

!Hiyah

!Huh

!Open sesame

!Open sesam-chi! Ow

?Knock-knock. Who's there

!Open! Skadoosh

[YELLS]

.OUT OF BREATH] Okay, I'm done]

,If you kids got any ideas .go for it

,NU HAI: Okay, you guys there's gotta be a button

or a lever .or something like that

,Fan out .see if you can find anything

[FAN TONG GASPS]

[ALL GASP]

[GASPS]

!We're so cool

.Hmm

Yeah, well, I probably .warmed it up for you ...I mean

,A little seasoning on it ?you know what I mean

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

,BAO: Pretty sick, huh !Master Po? Haha

.This is cray-cray

This is exactly like ...the Jade Palace

,Except, you know, full of mold ...and dust, and

?Are those bones

,CHUCKLES] Anyway] --it's pretty spectacular. Whaa

Was that pedestal-box-situation ?here before

.Nah, bruh. That's new

!Woah

[NU HAI: [EXCLAIMING .Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh

!Master Po, unroll it

,I can't take it anymore !I gotta know what's inside

!Woah

[GASPS]

!SCREAMS] Aha]

!Man, I'm awesome

!Got it

.Lost it !Over there

...Did you guys see

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

Now, listen, you deer vampire ...whatever-your-deal-is

I can't let you !leave with that... Aah

[STRAINING]

!GASPS] I'm coming, kids]

.This is such a bad idea

!No, no, no

[ALL SCREAM]

!No

,Oh! Come on, guys .I know you're there

!Nu Hai! Bao !Are you there? Please

?Anyone? Somebody

!SHOUTS] Answer me]

[PANTING AND SOBBING]

[RUMBLING]

?BOTH: Huh

[GASPS]

!Wow

!BAO: Yo

!Woah, woah, woah ?Why all the long faces

I just saved everybody's life in there .with the power of my mighty chi

!I know

.Ha ha! Pound it

!NU HAI: Ahem

Guys, are we ?forgetting something

We had that !scroll right in our paws

.And we lost it

.Oh, yeah

At least we .still have this though

?Whoa! You got the scroll

?How

I traded with that mean deer lady

while she wasn't .paying attention

!Fan Tong, you're amazing ?What does it say

...It's

.Blank

Who the heck would go through all the trouble of hiding a blank scroll

in a super-secret ?underground ancient temple

,Wait. Fan Tong ?what did you trade her for

[JINDIAO SNARLS IN FRUSTRATION]

Master, they must have .switched scrolls

.Forgive me

...If those kids have the scroll

It could destroy everything ...I've been working towards

Since I first took control .of this body

,Since you've failed me so ...so miserably

I'll have to send someone .a little bit stronger

We must prepare to summon .the Yaoguai

Oh, no, Po! You're still banned .from here

?What, why

.You made a huge mess last time

You got duck sauce !all over the scrolls

!Now out

[Hmm. Mm? [GASPS

!Hey, Dragon Master

.Hey, Mei Mei

How's it going ?with the ribbon dance

!Okay, stop talking

.I have a proposition for you

I'm putting on ...this fun little, amazing

Life-changing .theatrical experience

I'm always ...looking to book guest stars

And I thought I'd ask if maybe you'd perhaps think ?about being interested

[PO: [READING Definitely starring" ".Po, the Dragon Master

.It's blank

Yeah, we kind of figured that part out .for ourselves, Grandma

.Hmm. Perhaps the text is hidden

,The old Kung Fu masters

had methods of concealing their most important messages .that nobody even knows anymore

I'll hold onto .this for safe-keeping

!Give me

[BOTH STRUGGLING]

Sorry. Got a .little carried away

!Ow

[LAUGHS AWKWARDLY]

".GASPS] "I see the, the light]

[CRYING]

?Uh... Everything okay, son

This is a preview .of her one-panda show

?I hope

[MEI MEI CRYING]

[COUGHS]

So that's the end !of the first scene

,Then I quickly run offstage .and then I change hats

!Oh, children

.I'm so happy you're here

Your Master Po is very excited to be performing !with me on stage

I haven't actually agreed .to do anything for you

.Aw, son! That's great

[PO STRUGGLING TO BREATHE] I missed ...all your school plays

[PO: [STRUGGLING ...Dad, I love you, too

.When I lost you

CRYING] I was robbed] .of your childhood...Come on, now

And it makes me [feel so empty inside![PO BREATHING RELIEVED

Oh, my God. Your dad's pain !is so adorable

Your students have to .be in this play with you

That way, your father will get to experience a glimpse of your childhood

that fate so .cruelly robbed him of

!SOBBING] She's so right]

I've been so empty inside !all these years

...But what about the S-C-R-O !Shh

[LAUGHS]

Yeah, Mei Mei, we'll come up .with something for the show

!Huzzah

See, son? This is gonna .work out great for everybody

:MR. PING !Dry salty plums !Get your dry salty plums

!Dad

!Son

.Mr. Ping ?What are you doing here

Oh, I got a flyer ...for the show

And I thought I'd spend ...some time with my son

And sell the number one theatre snack .in the world

!Dry salty plums! Yummy, yummy

.Your favorite, son

!It's awesome you're here, Dad

[FAN TONG: [EXCLAIMING .Aww

[SCREAMS]

[THUDDING FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[ROARS]

.Let's see what he's capable of

[ALL SCREAMING]

[GRUNTING AND SCREAMING]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS AND SCREAMS]

[SCREAMING]

[SNARLING]

[SCREAMS]

[LAUGHS CUNNINGLY] [DEER SCREAMING]

BAO: Why are you still ?lugging around that scroll

Can't we just leave it ?in the Training Hall

This is an important message from some ancient .Kung Fu master

We can't let it .out of our sight

And there's that ...scary deer lady

Who's always making a face .like she has a headache

!She wants it too

.Yo, ding-dongs, check this out

We can stash it in here .while we're on stage

!Okay, I'm here

.Dazzle me

We will be playing the Monkey King .Sun Wukong

Um... You're all ?playing the same character

We never agree on .who's gonna be what .This just saves time

Wait till you .see Master Po's costume

!CHUCKLING] It's so scary]

?Are you kidding me ?That's your demon costume

!CRYING] My career is over] !My career is over

?Is she okay

!Master Po

Let's knock out this rehearsal real quick .and get back to the scroll

When you hear your ...entrance line

This sure looks" like the type of place ".there would never be a demon

!You jump at us and attack [PUSH CART APPROACHING]

,Then fighty-fight, acty-act .we defeat you, and end scene

Hey, get your paws !off my delicacies

:LI ?I can't get one little sample

.PO: Hey, hey, hey

?What's wrong

Your panda dad keeps putting his grubby little hands .in my noodle cart

LI: I have had it up ...to here with you

!Dads! Dads! Hey

I don't know how many times .I have to go over this

You've gotta find a way .to get along

.LI AND PING: Hmm

[BOTH ARGUING TOGETHER]

MR. PING: Don't you ever ?brush your teeth

[ROARS]

?Why am I here

You have pulled me from my date night !and I am very angry

My wife, Glarg, only arises from her cocoon once a millennia

to consume the souls ...of the unworthy

And I must accompany her

or be befouled in the utters .of the great Ching-Gow

I even got a sitter .for our spawn

?Does this guy ever shut up

Yes. Remind me next time .to summon one without a tongue

,JINDIAO: Do not worry my friend, I shall return you ...to your home

As soon as you retrieve my scroll .from some insignificant pandas

Oh! I will crush .these tubby bears

Savagely I will drain their marrow

as their screams echo in the inferno of the great ...Dagon's four stomachs

.Jindiao Bird Master

.Dah! Dragon Master

[SCREAMING]

?What is happening

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Your mission to find this scroll is too important .to leave to chance

,So, just in case ...if things get messy

.BOTH: I will take control

!Dry salty plums

!Get your dry salty plums here

.I'll take two orders, please

I reserve the right .to refuse service to anyone

.Especially you

I'm trying to .extend an olive branch

You know, geese .are allergic to olives

?Are you trying to kill me

.Look, I'm trying to be friends

!We share the same son

!We are not friends

!You're right, we're not friends

.We're family

.We both love our son

.And he doesn't want us to fight

So you're going to ?play it that way, are you

If you think guilting me with the family card [will work... [GASPS

[You're absolutely right. [SOBS

By the way, I don't offer !a family discount

,I emerge from this cocoon" !a woman

Ready to suckle" life's sweet nectar ".with my proboscis

?Uh, huh

[WEAK APPLAUDING]

[Thank you. [KISSES

To open my three-hour tour de force .is a bunch of kids in masks

!Huzzah

Really makes you admire the dictators ?who outlaw this stuff, huh

.Focus. We're up next

.BAO: "That cave up there

Perhaps it is" "?full of treasure

This sure looks like" the type of place ".there would never be a demon

!Ooh

"...PO: "It is I, the Wind !Aw! Ooh

[Woah! [SCREAMING

[THUNDERCLAP]

[ALL CHEERING] Oh, wow. Check out .those special effects

?Whoa! Master Po

That costume turned out .way better than I expected

[ROARS]

.That is not Master Po

[CHEERING]

!Give me the scroll

[TREMBLING]

How does he ...know about the scroll

?I mean, what scroll I don't know ...what you're talking

[BOTH SCREAMING]

?It's like that !Let's rock this turd

[SCREAMS]

[SQUEALING]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

[STRAINING]

!Uh! Woah

[WHIMPERING]

!YAOGUAI: Tired I am of this

...Return the scroll

Or I will drink the secreted fluid ...of your spines

.And discern the mystery myself

[BONES CRUNCHING] [SCREAMS]

[STRUGGLING] Not sure spinal fluid .works that way, big fella

.You'll never get the scroll

[Nu Hai, no! [SCREAMS

[SCREAMS]

?Whoa! Did you see that

!I think I just laid an egg

!Fan Tong .The sword of Red Phoenix !That was amazing

[ROARING]

!Now, Fan Tong

!Yaa

[SLOWED DOWN SCREAMING]

[YAOGUAI LAUGHING]

?You think that hurts ...I don't feel a

[SCREAMS]

!Thank you! Thank you [APPLAUSE CONTINUES]

!Thank you

[PO STRUGGLING]

[SIGHS]

?Did I miss anything

[SCREAMS IN FRUSTRATION]

We wasted !a perfectly good demon

If there's anything I can do ...to make you feel better

JINDIAO: If the information in that scroll ...is uncovered

The entire world could find out .who I truly am

I think it's time I personally paid a visit .to our friends in Panda Village

!ALL: Woah

[NU HAI LAUGHS EXCITEDLY]

Maybe our chi is the key to unlocking ?the hidden message, right

Ho! I think you're !onto something

...Fan Tong

.Do your thing, buddy

[CHUCKLES]

Things are getting ?real weird now, huh

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]