All language subtitles for Ikiru toka Shinu toka Chichioya toka EP01 720p HDTV x264 AAC-JPTVclub

Wow, it's great to be independent and have your own business.

You've been dreaming of owning one since high school.

It's already costing me more than I thought it would.

I was desperate to raise money to start my business.

But that's what's so great about you, Rina.

You're diligent, independent, and we're really proud of you.

Hello.

Hello.

But look, you're also a good mother, Fumi.

Nah, I'm just completely ordinary.

- Ichiro, I'm gonna eat it up!
- I wanna eat that, mom!

You want some?
Sit down and eat, okay?

Okay, let's eat with me.

Hello?

I heard that Sacchan's having her second baby.

You're the only one around here who's not married.

That's why I'm in such a hurry to arrange you a matchmaking.

- What? Matchmaking?
- Yeah.

Well, I'll do that eventually.

But I'm busy with work right now.
I gotta go. Bye, mom.

Hey...

Takeda-san is the top sales performer this month. Applause!

And Umekawa-san.

Yes.

- Congratulations on your wedding!
- Congratulations!

Here is a bouquet to celebrate!

Thank you! I'm so happy.

Umekawa-san will be resigning at the end of this month.

- May the happiness be with you!
- Thank you so much.

It's a gift from us!

We hope it will be useful for you.

- Congrats!
- Congrats!

- Start.
- The time is 8 p.m.

Episode 1

Marriage, singlehood, and other things

Broadcasting live from TBX Radio
"Tokki and The People's Moment"

I, Kanbara Tokiko, a.k.a Tokki, a columnist who
eats up both the sour and sweet sides of life, and...

TBX announcer Azuma Nanami, will be presenting.

From here, we'll start listening to your concerns
in the "Occasional Concern on a Sunny Day" corner.

Today we have a concern from a woman in Setagaya Ward,
Tokyo, who goes by the radio name Manju Kowai-san.

Good evening, Tokki-san and Azuma-san.

Good evening.

I'm a single, 27-year-old office worker.

As far as I can tell from my friends who have gotten married,
marriage life doesn't seem like much fun to me.

I feel depressed when I think that if I get married,

I'll be a part of my partner's life, and I'll be giving up
the freedom and fun that I currently have.

Is this a strange concern?

Tokki-san, if you have any good advice, please let me know.

I feel that!

I was worrying over the same thing.

True that it's hard to let go of freedom once you have it.

Yeah.

Besides, we're going to make our own way in life.

And the fun of it just gets better each year.

Single is a drug.

I think being single is a drug.

That's just how much fun it is.

But, you know, the joys of being single are
weighed against the melancholy of loneliness.

That's why on those nights when I feel lonely
more than happy, I go out of control and think

that I don't want to die alone and
that I have to do something about it.

I think I understand what you mean.

When the first priority in life is to be free from loneliness,

the word "marriage" starts to flicker in mind.

But there are some women for whom
the fun outweighs the loneliness, and that's me.

Tokki and her merry band of unmarrieds.

However, I think there are some things that
only married people can be happy about.

True.

The kind of happiness that's worth continuing
for more than just your own pleasure.

I've known married couples who were
very unstable when they first got married,

and I have seen them become better as the years went by.

I guess there's a different kind of satisfaction from being single.

Maybe you're right.

It's just that...

If you're doing it because you think you're not good enough to be
a woman if you don't get married, then you probably shouldn't.

And your concern is, when you get married,
you're going to be a part of your partner's life

and you'll be giving up the freedom and fun that you have now.

The problem is, how you can lean on each other.

It's no longer the time for women to support men in their lives.

Right.

Financially, it's hard for men too.

Women can make a life for themselves too,

so I hope you don't give up on that.

Look, I still enjoy my single life.

There it is, the single is drug.

I'm already overdosed.

That's what I'm talking about!

Brought to you by: rid (@waterhyacinth_)

Brought to you by: rid (@waterhyacinth_)

Living,

Dying,

Father, and other things

My name is Kanbara Tokiko.

I am a radio personality and write columns and essays for a living.

Hello. Pardon me.

I'm sorry.

To the temple at the top of the hill.

- Pardon me?
- To the temple at the top of the hill.

Yes, ma'am.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

- Dad, take this.
- Okay.

- Sorry I'm late.
- No problem.

Thank you very much.

This man, who looks like he drives
a foreign car, is my father, Tetsuya.

Your father is so cool.

He used to make a lot of money,
but he's lost all of it and is now broke.

Dad, take this.

- Have a good day.
- We're off!

Thank you very much.

The lady at the stone shop said you're so cool.

Really?

You certainly don't look very broke.

I'm an old lady specialist anyway.

I was on the subway today, and a stranger old lady said,

"That's a nice jacket! I love the colour!"

I was so confused when she yelled.

My mother passed away 18 years ago
at the age of 62, when I was 24.

She was a cheerful, humorous, and wonderful person.

My father, as you can see from his appearance,
used to be a man with a keen sense,

but now he has become much more mellow.

As he passed the age of 60, the waves of old age
began to wash over him incessantly,

and inevitably, it began to chip away his keen sense.

Let me pour water on Kawamoto-san's grave too.

Kawamoto-san's grave is not visited by many people.

Somewhere along the line, my father began to pour
a little of water left in the pail over his grave.

Thank you for always watching over me.

Say.

What kind of person was Kawamoto-san when he was alive?

I don't know.

Huh? You didn't know each other?

Yeah, there doesn't seem to be many people come.

I felt sorry for him, so I started pouring
him water, and he gave me a blessing.

A blessing?

Lottery, you know.

- Did you win?
- Yeah.

It wasn't much money, but I'm sure Kawamoto-san won it for me.

Thank you very much.

- Shall we go?
- Okay.

It's not good for us to just show up and leave right away.

We're doing the usual.

What's the sudden?

Your mom will be lonely.

Oh... yeah.

Next time we come here,
I'll bring some rice balls for us to eat.

- Rice balls? Where would we eat that?
- Over there.

Sounds nice. Let's do that.

People might think we're a strange parent and child, though.

My father and I live apart.

I've tried to live with him twice since my mother passed away,
but it didn't work out and we kept having conflicts, so I gave up.

After a visit to the grave, we usually
end up reminiscing about my mother.

When your mom's mad,
she's mad as hell, but it never lingers.

That was her good side, right?

She would burst out in anger,
but she'd be cooperative afterwards.

True. She scolded me a lot, too.

You know, before you were born,
there was this car that I really wanted.

It's called the Isuzu 117 Coupé.

I tried it out, and I liked it.

I was about to buy one.

However, your mom was very much against it and said absolutely not.

She said she'd divorce me if I bought that.

Divorce?

I gave up on it once,

but I really wanted it, so I secretly called
the dealer to buy it without telling her.

But the dealership guy was a very inattentive.

One day, he came ringing our house's bell with a contract.

Your mom was extremely upset. That was awful.

Of course she would!

But then she said, "Well, it can't be helped, so let it be."

We've been on a lot of road trips since then.

Your mom, all dressed up, got into the passenger seat.

Wasn't she dressed up just to suit you?

All's well that ends well, right?

So, is royal milk tea fine?

Yes, please.

Sure.

My father doesn't drink coffee, preferring royal milk tea.

Of course there's no such thing as royal milk tea
at the drink bar in a family restaurant.

They don't have warm milk, and my father
doesn't like plant-based coffee freshener.

It wasn't that my father was being selfish,

but he didn't know that I was doing this juggling
act of making royal milk tea in the first place.

If you're wondering why I'm doing this, despite
the fact that people around us are a bit hesitant,

it's probably because I am a woman.

There are times when even I, his biological daughter,
want to indulge this man unconditionally.

Particularly if it's another woman.

It's my father who has an unusually developed ability

to make women want to do things for him.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

What's that?

- I'm thinking of moving out.
- What?

- I found a nice place.
- Nice place?

- You've already decided?
- Yeah.

You could've at least asked me for advice.

- It's quite spacious.
- Yeah.

A bit far from the city center, but it's a place with lots
of greenery, and the leaves change color in fall season.

How much is the rent?

120,000 yen.

That's 10,000 yen more than your pension!

The lady in charge was very nice,

I heard she had a customer before me,
but she secretly passed it on to me.

That's why I made a provisional application.

What? Seriously...

Okay, fine. I'll help you.

Thanks for that.

I was lucky enough to make a lot of money
last year, so I've got a little bit saved up.

If you like the place, I can somehow find a way.

But society is harsh on the elderly.

I have to pay for a year in advance
because I wouldn't have income.

- Really?
- Within this month.

Oh, God...

Okay, fine. You get it.

You're a good kid.

I'm a lucky father.

In exchange, I'll write an essay about you.

I'll write an essay about you and use the earnings to help you.

What do you think?

All right.

- Then we have a deal.
- Okay.

Don't be offended by anything I write.

Well, you wouldn't read it anyway.

Because what you write is for girls.

How do you prepare for the move?

I'm sure it's a lot of work to clean and tidy up.

Well, yeah.

- Would you like me to come help you?
- Nope.

I'm sure you're busy with work.

I'll manage it somehow.

- You sure?
- Yep.

Okay then.

If I didn't keep my wits about me, I might spend the rest of my life

feeding my father sweetened milk

and myself sipping the rest of the bitter liquid.

There's a reason I decided to write about my father.

I regretted that...

I hadn't been able to hear anything about my mother's life

from her own self.

I don't want to feel the same way about my father.

Thanks for coming.

Yeah. It's a nice place.

In the end, I didn't help my father move in at all.

I'm a terrible daughter.

This is bad.

I definitely can't leave this place by myself.

- Well, I can escort you off front.
- Please do.

This way.

Hello.
Are you going out?

Yeah, we're going to buy groceries.

- Okay, be careful.
- Thank you very much.

Front door neighbor.

Seems tough.

Look, they're newlyweds, and they're just starting out.

I see.

- Come in.
- Pardon me.

Hey, why are there so many umbrellas?

I'll get rid of those soon.

You know how it rains when you go out,
but it's sunny when you get back?

Of course I'll forget to bring one.
So there's a lot of them.

I already told you to throw out everything
you don't need before you move in.

But these aren't something I don't need.

- What a spacious place.
- Right?

There's a lot of stuff, but it's all very tidy,

and I can't imagine he did it all by himself.

Come look at this.

- The balcony is also spacious.
- Nice view, right?

- Wow, that's nice.
- Right?

A starling came here the other day.

You always like birds. What's so good about them?

Their stiff and pointy beak.

But when you put it in your palm,
the feathers are soft and fluffy.

It's addictive.

Not because it can fly freely?

And they're also good as a dish.

It's kind of grotesque.

My mother was never fond of red flowers.

Her favorite one is a pure white calla lily.

I even decorated the whole ceremony with calla lily at her funeral.

Hey, Dad.

What is marriage?

- Marriage?
- Yes.

It must be tough for the guy who will be with you.

You're strong-minded, outspoken, and...

No, that's not what I meant.

Then what?

I asked the same thing to mom when she was alive.

What did she say to you?

She told me that I should not throw away
the memory of the person I loved to death.

I'm pretty sure my father and mother loved each
other with all their hearts when they were young.

However, by the time I was old enough
to remember, there was no sign of it.

They loved each other as a family,
but as a man and a woman...

Even I would be puzzled.

My father filled the empty space outside, but

how did my mother soothe her overwhelmed heart?

How did they perceive their relationship
as it transformed over the years?

Are you okay?

It's okay. I'll pick it up.

- Sorry.
- No worries.

Please let me. It's okay.

Sorry.

- Here you go.
- I'm sorry.

Thank you very much.

- I wish you a safe delivery.
- Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

If I am told that's what married couples do,

where will the resignation, heartbreak, and regret
be swept away until we becomes something like that?

- Here's an email asking for advice.
- Okay.

We're back. Okay, 5 seconds to go.

The time is 8 p.m.

Broadcasting live from TBX Radio
"Tokki and The People's Moment"

I, Kanbara Tokiko, a.k.a Tokki, a columnist who
eats up both the sour and sweet sides of life, and...

TBX announcer Azuma Nanami, will be presenting.

From here, we'll start listening to your concerns
in the "Occasional Concern on a Sunny Day" corner.

Okay, let's get started.

This is a concern from a 23-year-old woman who goes
by the radio name Neko Yokan-san in Meguro Ward, Tokyo.

Tokki-san, Azuma-san, good evening.

Good evening.

I have a boyfriend who is 45 years old, married,
has two children, and runs a company.

We met when I was working part-time at a bar, and we've
been meeting two or three times a week for about a year.

At first I thought that this wasn't a good relationship

and if I really liked him, I should break up with him before it got too deep,

but I couldn't stop thinking about how
he put me first above everything else.

But on the other hand, jealousy and hatred towards his family
also came up, and I started to feel depressed more often.

He told me that it was too much of a sacrifice to leave
his family when he was thinking about his children.

He can't ensure our future, so I can
neither be hopeful nor pessimistic.

But he told me that he really loves me.

However, his wife suddenly collapsed the other day,
leaving her with brain and body damage,

and he will have to take care of her for the rest of his life.

When I found out about it, I was confused, jealous of his wife,
and disappointed in him for returning to his family.

But after calming down and thinking about his current situation
and feelings, I came to accept and support him in everything he does.

My friends said, "You should live your life.

This is your chance to leave."

But I don't need to get married anymore.

I want to be his girlfriend for the rest of my life,

I want to be by his side, and my thoughts is so full of him.

What do you think of this situation, Tokki-san?

- That's a one big problem.
- True.

- Well, that's upsetting.
- Yeah.

Support me: ko-fi.com/aoinousagi

I'm going to be a little harsh.

When we try to prioritize our feelings of love as pure emotions,

I think there are a lot of things we would lose sight of.

It's more like misreading.
What was it again?

"...but I couldn't stop thinking about how
he put me first above everything else."

I'm sure that's how the relationship started,

but right now he's clearly putting his family first.

True.

I'm sorry to tell you this, Neko Yokan-san,

but this is a very common story.

You never heard a case where a man's convenience took away
a young girl's precious time in her twenties landed in a good place.

No, you don't.

For a 45-year-old married man,

cheating on a 23-year-old girl is as easy as twisting a baby's hand.

And if he really wants to put her first,

he'll leave his family at once.

Right.

But what he really cares about is his family,
his children, his wife, his social status,

and in the end, these are what he puts first.

I mean, he's not exactly putting his feelings for her first, is he?

In comparison, Neko Yokan-san is at a great disadvantage

because she's being swayed by temporary emotions.

This is a bargaining game between Neko Yokan-san, who's
putting her feelings of love first, and him, who's not.

You're at a huge disadvantage.

I don't even want to think about this anymore, but
there's no guarantee if everything he said is true.

- About his wife's sickness, yes.
- True.

So I think it's better to make a decision after confirming the truth.

In some cases, there's a possibility that his wife might
sue Neko Yokan-san and she would have to pay a fine.

Yes, it is.

Pure love is powerless in the face of the law.

Wake up, Neko Yokan-san!

Because no one around me has ever had the
good fortune to go through something like this!

Well... I'm getting a little heated, aren't I?

Tokki-san, you were a little more forceful than usual.

I got a little carried away.

I'm so sorry.

I'd like you to have a proper talk with him again.

So we heard back from the last week's listener.

That's right. From the radio name Inu Daifuku-san.

Oh, I am still unable to forgive my father.

Episode 1

Marriage, singlehood,

betrayal, and other things

Yoshida Yoh

Kunimura Jun

Tanaka Minami

Okamoto "MOBY" Takuya

Morimoto Shintaro (Tontsukatan)

Hiccorohee

Uchida Chika

Tomita Yasuko

Matsuoka Mayu

Original Work: Ikiru toka Shinu toka Chichioya toka (essay) by Jane Su

Screenplay: Izuchi Kishu

Music: Vampillia

Opening Song:
ever since by Takahashi Yu

Ending Song:
Yukari by Higuchi Ai

Musical Cooperation:
TV Tokyo Music

Director: Yamato Yuki

Special Thanks: Wilhelm / NSBC

Translation: rid