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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:04,976 --> 00:00:08,094
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,179 --> 00:00:11,844
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:14,742
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,937 --> 00:00:18,084
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,281 --> 00:00:21,346
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,079
♪ All the things that make us ♪
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00:00:23,164 --> 00:00:24,633
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:24,718 --> 00:00:26,523
♪ He's... a... ♪
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00:00:26,616 --> 00:00:30,578
♪ Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
*FAMILY GUY*
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00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:33,099
*FAMILY GUY*
Season 19 Episode 17
12
00:00:33,574 --> 00:00:35,574
Episode Title: " Young Parent Trap"
Aired on: April 18, 2021
13
00:00:37,427 --> 00:00:38,603
Well, here we are.
14
00:00:38,688 --> 00:00:40,946
Oh, and if you hear the guys
call me "Poopy Thumb,"
15
00:00:41,031 --> 00:00:42,282
i-it's just a fun nickname,
16
00:00:42,366 --> 00:00:44,265
it's not something
that actually happened.
17
00:00:44,351 --> 00:00:45,709
Hey, Poopy Thumb.
18
00:00:45,793 --> 00:00:48,454
It was Gulden's Spicy Brown
Mustard from my sandwich.
19
00:00:48,539 --> 00:00:49,639
How many times
do I have to say it?!
20
00:00:49,723 --> 00:00:51,048
Okay.
21
00:00:51,132 --> 00:00:53,960
No need to relitigate
what four of our peers saw.
22
00:00:54,044 --> 00:00:55,478
Hi, everyone.
23
00:00:55,562 --> 00:00:58,072
I'm your children's teacher,
Miss Laura,
24
00:00:58,157 --> 00:01:00,806
and like pretty much everyone
in America right now,
25
00:01:00,891 --> 00:01:04,969
I'm very high
on legalized edible pot.
26
00:01:05,054 --> 00:01:08,231
Ha-ha.
27
00:01:08,316 --> 00:01:13,237
It's crazy how much
your kids look like you.
28
00:01:13,394 --> 00:01:14,720
Wha...
29
00:01:15,234 --> 00:01:16,910
Peter, pay attention.
30
00:01:17,016 --> 00:01:19,204
Sorry, I was having
a Fast Times daydream
31
00:01:19,289 --> 00:01:20,820
about that tank top mom.
32
00:01:20,904 --> 00:01:22,338
Yeah, that's disgusting.
33
00:01:22,422 --> 00:01:24,524
How would you like it
if she did that to you?
34
00:01:24,856 --> 00:01:26,998
"Moving In Stereo"
by The Cars plays...
35
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:37,669
I chocked on water
36
00:01:37,754 --> 00:01:40,447
and had to get mouth-to-mouth
from a guy.
37
00:01:43,223 --> 00:01:45,048
Five, four,
38
00:01:45,133 --> 00:01:47,847
three, two, one...
39
00:01:47,931 --> 00:01:49,182
Yay!
40
00:01:49,266 --> 00:01:51,244
All right,
that's officially
41
00:01:51,329 --> 00:01:53,201
the latest any of us
have ever been up.
42
00:01:53,286 --> 00:01:55,275
Oh-ho!
43
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,806
A little tired, Stewie?
44
00:01:56,891 --> 00:01:58,954
No. I just yawned
because somebody else yawned.
45
00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:00,798
I could do this all night.
You tired?
46
00:02:00,883 --> 00:02:02,994
Oh, no. At home,
they call me the night...
47
00:02:07,971 --> 00:02:09,447
Is Garrick Utley alive?
48
00:02:09,532 --> 00:02:11,705
I...
I don't know, Peter.
49
00:02:11,790 --> 00:02:13,603
Hey, I've been meaning
to ask you all night...
50
00:02:13,688 --> 00:02:16,559
Those vintage pants are amazing,
where did you get them?
51
00:02:16,643 --> 00:02:19,509
Oh, they were folded neatly
on a toilet in the gas station.
52
00:02:19,594 --> 00:02:20,897
Hey, you know,
we're starting a text chain
53
00:02:20,981 --> 00:02:22,548
with some of
the other young parents.
54
00:02:22,632 --> 00:02:23,881
Young parents?
55
00:02:23,966 --> 00:02:26,466
Yeah, new parents like us
have to stick together.
56
00:02:26,551 --> 00:02:28,185
Yes, we do.
57
00:02:28,270 --> 00:02:29,837
Because we're very young.
58
00:02:29,921 --> 00:02:31,247
Great. Can we get your number?
59
00:02:31,331 --> 00:02:33,173
Sure. We're Lakeside 4-7...
60
00:02:33,257 --> 00:02:35,486
He's kidding.
We'll hit you with the digits.
61
00:02:35,571 --> 00:02:36,988
Great.
62
00:02:37,337 --> 00:02:39,756
Oh, my God, Peter,
did you hear that?
63
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,774
What? I'm chewing celery.
I can't hear anything.
64
00:02:41,858 --> 00:02:44,093
They think Stewie's our first.
65
00:02:44,177 --> 00:02:45,762
Ah! They think we're young.
66
00:02:45,846 --> 00:02:48,097
- You're hurting me.
- This is our chance.
67
00:02:48,181 --> 00:02:49,599
Our chance to break away
68
00:02:49,683 --> 00:02:51,768
from the Joes and Bonnies
of the world.
69
00:02:51,852 --> 00:02:53,936
Our chance to finally
make cool friends.
70
00:02:54,020 --> 00:02:55,271
Well, I don't know what
you're saying, Lois,
71
00:02:55,355 --> 00:02:58,198
but that horse
is the dumbest horse
72
00:02:58,282 --> 00:03:00,459
I have ever seen in my life.
73
00:03:00,543 --> 00:03:01,961
It hurt to hear,
74
00:03:02,045 --> 00:03:05,502
but deep down,
I respected him for saying it.
75
00:03:05,596 --> 00:03:07,950
Finally someone
had told me the truth.
76
00:03:08,034 --> 00:03:11,712
And that boy grew up to have a
multiplatinum recording career.
77
00:03:11,796 --> 00:03:13,806
Hi, I'm Richard Marx,
78
00:03:13,890 --> 00:03:16,292
and I suck
at making clay horses,
79
00:03:16,376 --> 00:03:19,128
but ask your wife if she cares.
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00:03:19,212 --> 00:03:21,814
♪ Wherever you go ♪
81
00:03:21,898 --> 00:03:24,150
♪ Whatever you do ♪
82
00:03:24,234 --> 00:03:27,303
♪ I will be right here ♪
83
00:03:27,387 --> 00:03:30,121
♪ Waiting for you. ♪
84
00:03:38,693 --> 00:03:40,425
Oh, my God,
it's from Matt and Kate
85
00:03:40,510 --> 00:03:41,833
on that text chain.
Uh,
86
00:03:41,918 --> 00:03:45,988
"Heading out for 'ritas downtown
with the other young parents.
87
00:03:46,072 --> 00:03:47,377
Meet in 15?"
88
00:03:47,462 --> 00:03:49,472
Oh, Peter, we have to go!
89
00:03:49,557 --> 00:03:50,857
Now?
90
00:03:56,099 --> 00:03:57,108
Peter, look.
91
00:03:57,192 --> 00:03:59,259
The menu doesn't
have dollar signs.
92
00:03:59,343 --> 00:04:01,494
It just has a number
and a period.
93
00:04:01,579 --> 00:04:03,506
Ah!
I feel like I'm in Brooklyn!
94
00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:06,008
Damn it, all the employees
are wearing regular clothes,
95
00:04:06,185 --> 00:04:08,619
so it's impossible
to ask anybody for help.
96
00:04:13,283 --> 00:04:14,721
Griffins.
97
00:04:15,769 --> 00:04:17,778
Uh, you want to sit at
the high-seat low-table,
98
00:04:17,862 --> 00:04:19,205
or the low-seat high-table?
99
00:04:21,624 --> 00:04:23,542
How about those
four old barber chairs
100
00:04:23,626 --> 00:04:26,362
around the operating tables
from the state insane asylum?
101
00:04:26,446 --> 00:04:27,880
Ah, isn't this place great?
102
00:04:27,964 --> 00:04:29,123
Amazing.
103
00:04:29,207 --> 00:04:31,384
Hi, my name is Isaac.
I'll be your server.
104
00:04:31,468 --> 00:04:32,644
Have you all eaten
with us before?
105
00:04:32,728 --> 00:04:34,812
No, but I get
how restaurants work.
106
00:04:34,896 --> 00:04:36,980
Now, what can I get
for you, hon?
107
00:04:40,619 --> 00:04:41,909
Well, this is us.
108
00:04:41,994 --> 00:04:44,046
Boy, I almost
don't want this night to end.
109
00:04:44,130 --> 00:04:45,973
- Me either.
- Well, I got an idea.
110
00:04:46,057 --> 00:04:48,721
You mind if I use your bathroom
to do number two?
111
00:04:49,439 --> 00:04:51,904
Wow, your place is amazing.
112
00:04:51,988 --> 00:04:55,518
A pool, a spa, and all
the lights are on dimmers.
113
00:04:55,603 --> 00:04:57,768
And a digital thermostat.
114
00:04:57,853 --> 00:04:59,820
Oh, my God, it's like
we're on a spaceship.
115
00:04:59,994 --> 00:05:03,128
Well, there's an open unit
if you guys are interested.
116
00:05:03,213 --> 00:05:05,234
Is the toilet
a bit better in that one?
117
00:05:05,318 --> 00:05:06,252
Actually,
it's kind of embarrassing,
118
00:05:06,336 --> 00:05:07,753
but the toilet
in that one is shaped
119
00:05:07,837 --> 00:05:09,752
like a Hungry Hungry Hippo.
120
00:05:18,273 --> 00:05:19,635
I don't know, Peter.
121
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,507
It just doesn't feel
like the responsible thing
122
00:05:22,592 --> 00:05:24,792
to abandon Chris and Meg.
123
00:05:24,877 --> 00:05:27,369
The polka dot top goes with
the white bottoms, too, right?
124
00:05:27,454 --> 00:05:29,448
Oh, definitely.
Very old Hollywood.
125
00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:32,776
Perfect. I mean,
I guess they are teenagers.
126
00:05:32,861 --> 00:05:35,830
- And helicopter parents, right?
- What?
127
00:05:35,915 --> 00:05:38,292
Helicopter parents.
It's something I read.
128
00:05:38,377 --> 00:05:39,769
- Oh.
- Now you say it.
129
00:05:39,853 --> 00:05:41,862
- Say what?
- Helicopter parents.
130
00:05:41,946 --> 00:05:44,681
- Helicopter parents.
- Exactly.
131
00:05:47,901 --> 00:05:50,912
Now, I stocked the freezer with
plenty to eat while we're gone.
132
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:54,065
- On the top shelf...
- But all I heard was...
133
00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:57,044
Not pizza.
Not pizza. Not pizza.
134
00:05:57,128 --> 00:05:59,546
And finally, this is calamari.
135
00:05:59,630 --> 00:06:02,011
This is my placenta.
Are you listening?
136
00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:03,626
You're gonna want to watch
where I point.
137
00:06:03,710 --> 00:06:06,386
- Calamari, placenta.
- Who died again?
138
00:06:06,471 --> 00:06:09,482
Meg, listen to the lies.
Nobody died.
139
00:06:09,566 --> 00:06:12,800
An aunt of your father's
or mine is very ill.
140
00:06:12,885 --> 00:06:14,303
And why is Stewie
going with you?
141
00:06:14,556 --> 00:06:16,393
Stewie loved Uncle Grandpa.
142
00:06:16,478 --> 00:06:18,112
Wait, uncle?
I thought you said...
143
00:06:18,197 --> 00:06:19,916
Helicopter parents.
Let's go, Lois.
144
00:06:25,322 --> 00:06:27,817
Wow, they're really gone.
145
00:06:27,986 --> 00:06:29,807
You know what that means.
146
00:06:29,892 --> 00:06:32,190
We can finally crate Brian!
147
00:06:32,275 --> 00:06:36,083
He tricked us, and we're
still waiting on that lasagne.
148
00:06:36,167 --> 00:06:38,010
Chris, that was the trick.
149
00:06:38,094 --> 00:06:39,103
Oh.
150
00:06:39,319 --> 00:06:40,986
He tricked us!
151
00:06:45,564 --> 00:06:47,662
Ah, look, we're in apartment 4G.
152
00:06:47,747 --> 00:06:48,992
Like the iPhone.
153
00:06:49,077 --> 00:06:51,354
That's stupid, Lois.
Don't ever say that again.
154
00:06:51,439 --> 00:06:53,526
Hey, how's everything going
in there?
155
00:06:53,610 --> 00:06:56,178
Great. We're in apartment 4G,
like the iPhone.
156
00:06:56,262 --> 00:06:57,995
That's so twisted.
157
00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,532
- Did you make that up?
- Yes.
158
00:06:59,616 --> 00:07:02,018
You guys get settled,
then a few of us are gonna sit
159
00:07:02,102 --> 00:07:04,687
by the firepit and say
"mid-century modern" a lot,
160
00:07:04,822 --> 00:07:06,130
if you want to join.
161
00:07:06,214 --> 00:07:08,541
- They like us.
- This is it, Peter.
162
00:07:08,625 --> 00:07:10,784
We're gonna vape.
We're gonna vape!
163
00:07:10,868 --> 00:07:13,887
It's causing deaths,
but not that many yet.
164
00:07:18,118 --> 00:07:22,038
Ugh, I can't believe I ate
both Tupperwares of calamari.
165
00:07:24,124 --> 00:07:25,299
But I'm still hungry.
166
00:07:25,383 --> 00:07:26,392
What do we have left to eat?
167
00:07:26,476 --> 00:07:27,877
I'm not gonna say
we're out of food,
168
00:07:27,961 --> 00:07:31,730
but anything still in
the fridge I have made love to.
169
00:07:31,814 --> 00:07:35,568
Man, this broom-handle-poked
tapioca is delicious.
170
00:07:35,652 --> 00:07:37,644
Chris had sex with that.
171
00:07:37,728 --> 00:07:40,747
- Relax, I didn't finish.
- Oh.
172
00:07:49,816 --> 00:07:51,901
All right, Stewie,
you have a playdate
173
00:07:51,985 --> 00:07:54,995
with Cobain,
Siddhartha and Atticus.
174
00:07:55,079 --> 00:07:58,165
And if anyone asks,
you have plenty of sunscreen on.
175
00:07:58,249 --> 00:08:00,667
- But I don't...
- Bye.
176
00:08:00,751 --> 00:08:03,503
Hey, I'm Cobain.
Want a strawberry Quik?
177
00:08:03,587 --> 00:08:05,672
Sure, I want a strawberry,
but what's the hurry?
178
00:08:05,756 --> 00:08:07,766
Stewie Griffin, 4G,
like the iPhone.
179
00:08:07,850 --> 00:08:10,769
Ha. I like you.
Our deck needed a wild card.
180
00:08:10,853 --> 00:08:12,755
Cobain, now that
you're my best friend,
181
00:08:12,839 --> 00:08:14,181
can I ask you a question?
182
00:08:14,265 --> 00:08:15,608
When is nap time?
183
00:08:15,692 --> 00:08:18,035
Because it's 2:15,
and I'm about to collapse.
184
00:08:18,119 --> 00:08:19,186
Oh, we don't take naps.
185
00:08:19,270 --> 00:08:21,764
No naps?
Well, then, when is bed time?
186
00:08:21,848 --> 00:08:22,598
Whenever.
187
00:08:22,682 --> 00:08:23,933
My God, when do you grow?
188
00:08:24,017 --> 00:08:26,936
- We don't. I'm six.
- You're six?
189
00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:29,863
- Why are you so small?
- I only eat tofu and seaweed.
190
00:08:29,947 --> 00:08:32,775
- Nothing in a cage.
- You've never had parakeet?
191
00:08:32,859 --> 00:08:34,110
No.
Have you?
192
00:08:34,194 --> 00:08:37,053
No, but it looks really yummy
in the cartoons.
193
00:08:43,802 --> 00:08:46,049
All right, Peter, we can't
look like we don't belong,
194
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:49,175
so when they ask you what
you want to drink, just say
195
00:08:49,260 --> 00:08:53,573
- "Local. Micro. Brew."
- Local. Micro. Brew.
196
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,302
Local. Micro. Brew.
197
00:08:55,387 --> 00:08:56,955
Hey, Peter,
what can I get you to drink?
198
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,442
Give us a drop o' sherry, luv.
199
00:08:58,526 --> 00:09:00,284
- Peter!
- I'm-I'm sorry. I mean...
200
00:09:00,368 --> 00:09:02,435
Local. Micro. Brew.
201
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,316
Hi, we're Lois and Peter in 4G.
202
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,984
I really like your green pants.
203
00:09:12,034 --> 00:09:14,620
Oh, thanks, I found them
folded neatly on a toilet.
204
00:09:14,704 --> 00:09:17,623
I-I mean, I...
I only buy pants from companies
205
00:09:17,707 --> 00:09:20,276
that donate the same pair
to a Third World country.
206
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,703
Run home with these expired
military condoms, Ndugu.
207
00:09:23,788 --> 00:09:25,499
Run and make sure they use them.
208
00:09:25,614 --> 00:09:27,806
"Main Title: Olden Ticket/Pure
Imagination" playing...
209
00:09:57,672 --> 00:09:59,406
I found Mom and Dad.
210
00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:01,494
Wait, what?
Where are they?
211
00:10:01,627 --> 00:10:03,807
Well, first I need to explain
how I found them.
212
00:10:03,892 --> 00:10:05,078
Let me start from the beginning.
213
00:10:05,162 --> 00:10:07,005
You know how I operate
a small Internet company
214
00:10:07,089 --> 00:10:09,325
where I buy and sell
chlorine, right?
215
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,677
- No. What?
- Chris' Chlorine?
216
00:10:11,761 --> 00:10:15,664
- Chris' Chlorine?
- Chris, I have no idea what...
217
00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:17,333
Chris' Chlorine!
218
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,425
Stop just yelling that!
219
00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:21,261
Well, anyway, my guy
at Millennial Village
220
00:10:21,345 --> 00:10:24,840
Luxury Apartments was buying
extra chlorine this week.
221
00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:27,025
Seems they've been finding
a lot of loose burger meat
222
00:10:27,109 --> 00:10:28,177
in the pool.
223
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:30,346
And who do we know
that likes to go swimming
224
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:31,771
with loose burger meat?
225
00:10:31,855 --> 00:10:35,017
- Oh, my God, Dad!
- Bingo.
226
00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:37,035
But more importantly,
are you satisfied
227
00:10:37,119 --> 00:10:39,037
with your
chlorine supplier, Meg?
228
00:10:39,121 --> 00:10:41,023
Do you realize that
most people don't have
229
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:43,709
a personal relationship
with their chlorine dealer?
230
00:10:43,793 --> 00:10:45,711
How crazy is that?
231
00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:47,120
Chris, we got to go
to that apartment building
232
00:10:47,204 --> 00:10:48,955
and bust Mom and Dad.
233
00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:51,642
I'm on board, Meg, just
got to take this call first.
234
00:10:51,726 --> 00:10:54,887
Christopher's Catamarans.
Been running a side business.
235
00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:56,221
Hello?
236
00:10:56,305 --> 00:10:57,373
Aw, wrong number.
237
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:58,707
Anyway, Meg, are you happy
238
00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:01,127
with your catamaran supplier?
239
00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:06,605
Shouldn't we be confronting
our parents right now?
240
00:11:06,690 --> 00:11:10,018
I know, it's so crazy
how they moved out of the house.
241
00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:12,037
But you know
what's really crazy?
242
00:11:12,121 --> 00:11:15,189
Paying big showroom
prices for catamarans.
243
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:18,117
Meg, do you want to pay for
someone else's brick and mortar?
244
00:11:18,201 --> 00:11:20,453
Or do you want to pay
for your own fun
245
00:11:20,537 --> 00:11:22,121
and freedom on the waves?
246
00:11:22,205 --> 00:11:24,290
I really think that we should be getting back.
247
00:11:24,374 --> 00:11:27,219
Hang on, hang on.
I got to get this call.
248
00:11:27,303 --> 00:11:29,037
Randy's
Screen and Window Supply.
249
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:30,630
That's not
another one of my businesses.
250
00:11:30,714 --> 00:11:32,224
I run an answering service.
251
00:11:32,308 --> 00:11:34,226
Although I'd be remiss
if I didn't mention
252
00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:37,546
that I am dying to get into
the screen and window business.
253
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,214
If you have an in, Meg,
254
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:41,383
just anyone in the window game
I could take to coffee,
255
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,719
you know, and just pick
their brains about win...
256
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:46,054
No, Chris.
I'm sorry, I don't.
257
00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:48,573
Yeah, no, it's cool.
Sorry. I'm still here.
258
00:11:51,327 --> 00:11:54,837
Windows and Screens Unlimited,
we beat any price.
259
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:01,253
So, Griffins,
260
00:12:01,337 --> 00:12:04,923
what do you think
of our little oasis in Quahog?
261
00:12:05,007 --> 00:12:06,241
I like it,
but I can't believe
262
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:08,243
we're all going to college
next year.
263
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:09,335
Peter, that's too young.
264
00:12:09,419 --> 00:12:11,337
I mean, have you gotten
a reverse mortgage
265
00:12:11,421 --> 00:12:13,932
- like Joe Namath suggests?
- Too old.
266
00:12:14,016 --> 00:12:16,268
Hey, gang, there's
a new couple moving in.
267
00:12:16,352 --> 00:12:19,003
Look at that, Lois.
We're no longer the new couple.
268
00:12:19,088 --> 00:12:20,670
The heat is off.
269
00:12:23,192 --> 00:12:25,110
- Oh, my God.
- I know.
270
00:12:25,194 --> 00:12:27,306
That's the guy
from the catamaran commercial.
271
00:12:32,275 --> 00:12:35,437
So, you two just
moved to the complex?
272
00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:38,106
What did you say
your names were again?
273
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:40,417
I'm Dylan
and this is my wife, Dylan.
274
00:12:40,502 --> 00:12:43,690
Oh... same name couple.
That's the dream.
275
00:12:43,775 --> 00:12:46,555
I have an idea, why don't
we all play a board game?
276
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:47,649
Great idea.
277
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:50,786
Have you guys ever played
The Wrath of the Star Eclipse:
278
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,532
Empire:
Twilight of Destruction?
279
00:12:53,617 --> 00:12:55,957
Wh-What is that? Is that...
is that like Sorry!?
280
00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:59,052
Um, does Sorry!
Have a 900-sided die
281
00:12:59,136 --> 00:13:01,054
and its own language
of rules?
282
00:13:01,138 --> 00:13:02,631
Oh, we love that game.
283
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:05,150
Yeah, that sounds like fun.
284
00:13:05,234 --> 00:13:07,969
Why don't you guys set it up,
and we'll get our new friends
285
00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:09,836
drinks from the kitchen,
huh?
286
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,257
What the hell do you guys
think you're doing?
287
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,068
I could ask you
the same question, and I shall.
288
00:13:15,152 --> 00:13:17,070
What the hell do you guys
think you're doing?!
289
00:13:17,154 --> 00:13:18,255
I'll tell you
what we're doing...
290
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,982
Having fun for the first time
in our lives.
291
00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:22,408
And we're not gonna
let you ruin that.
292
00:13:22,492 --> 00:13:25,487
Well, we're gonna expose you
as the old farts you are.
293
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,656
Oh, you're gonna expose us?
294
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:28,657
Did you hear that, Peter?
295
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:30,525
Don't care,
long as you don't pan
296
00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:32,507
no nuggets off me claim.
297
00:13:33,429 --> 00:13:35,145
I went way back.
298
00:13:39,972 --> 00:13:41,797
Okay, Peter, your turn.
299
00:13:41,882 --> 00:13:43,171
Uh...
300
00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:44,673
Why are you looking
at your navigation chart
301
00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,007
when we're still
at the beginning
302
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:47,266
of the first build phase?
303
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:50,011
You know what I like to do
when I play games?
304
00:13:50,095 --> 00:13:52,013
Ask people when they were born.
305
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:53,181
Pete, you go first.
306
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,517
Oh, that's an easy question.
19...
307
00:13:57,953 --> 00:14:02,615
Uh, uh, nine... 90.90.11.
308
00:14:02,699 --> 00:14:04,450
I was born on 9/11.
309
00:14:04,534 --> 00:14:06,044
Well, what about you guys?
310
00:14:06,128 --> 00:14:08,196
You seem like
a very happy couple,
311
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,289
yet I haven't seen you
even kiss yet.
312
00:14:10,373 --> 00:14:13,034
This is why I said
we should've practiced.
313
00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:14,886
I can't kiss at the moment.
314
00:14:14,970 --> 00:14:17,296
I have raging HPV in my throat.
315
00:14:17,380 --> 00:14:20,375
Compliments
of m'lady's Florida sojourn.
316
00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:22,969
What a fun Gen Z time
we're having.
317
00:14:23,053 --> 00:14:24,546
We should take a photo.
318
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:28,365
Lois, why don't you take a photo
and AirDrop it to us?
319
00:14:30,469 --> 00:14:32,888
Of course, AirDrop.
320
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:34,204
That's easy.
321
00:14:35,565 --> 00:14:37,150
Oh, whoops.
322
00:14:37,234 --> 00:14:38,985
Dropped my phone.
323
00:14:39,069 --> 00:14:41,236
Peter, can you help
me pick this up?
324
00:14:42,239 --> 00:14:44,900
What the hell is AirDrop?
Is that Wi-Fi?
325
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:47,085
- I think it's a medical term for a fart.
- Is that the button you hit
326
00:14:47,169 --> 00:14:48,586
- on the plane?
- I never turn it off on a plane.
327
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:51,164
- How do you ask Siri?
- I think you mean "celery."
328
00:14:51,248 --> 00:14:53,241
- Hey, celery.
- It's definitely Siri.
329
00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:54,667
- Yeah, I'm wrong.
- Peter, we got to get out of this.
330
00:14:54,751 --> 00:14:56,411
I'll-I'll just throw up,
everyone will have to leave.
331
00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:58,930
- Can you really do that?
- Yeah, I taught myself in sixth grade.
332
00:14:59,014 --> 00:15:01,231
- I'm gonna do it.
- Okay. Okay. I'm in. I'm in.
333
00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:07,439
Aw, gee whiz.
334
00:15:07,523 --> 00:15:10,091
Aw, sorry, guys.
Looks like the party's over.
335
00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:12,242
We'll AirDrop another time.
336
00:15:17,533 --> 00:15:18,934
Ah, Sunday.
337
00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:21,119
Perfect day to dangle
my feet in the pool
338
00:15:21,203 --> 00:15:23,078
with the other heavier wives.
339
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:27,508
Ah, loose burger meat
on a sunny day.
340
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,612
This is nice, isn't it, Beverly?
341
00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:32,205
Bev? Isn't it?
342
00:15:32,289 --> 00:15:34,132
- Uh-huh.
- Well, then say it.
343
00:15:34,216 --> 00:15:37,060
Uh, you guys, the Dylans
just had the best idea.
344
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:39,788
What do you say we all
go to Quachella with a Q,
345
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,973
Quahog's three-day
music festival?
346
00:15:42,057 --> 00:15:44,125
Oh, music festival, huh?
347
00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:45,977
You think the von Trapps'll
stick around
348
00:15:46,061 --> 00:15:47,386
to pick up their award
this time?
349
00:15:47,470 --> 00:15:50,131
I don't know about them,
but they're gonna have holograms
350
00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:53,059
of Tupac and also Nipsey Hussle,
who I'd never heard of
351
00:15:53,143 --> 00:15:55,136
and then was told
to care immensely about.
352
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:57,155
So, this was the Dylans' idea?
353
00:15:57,239 --> 00:15:58,990
Oh, oh, we can't
take credit for it.
354
00:15:59,074 --> 00:16:00,399
Any young person
would've thought of it.
355
00:16:00,483 --> 00:16:03,069
Do I have to wear a tuxedo
like Frank and Sammy
356
00:16:03,153 --> 00:16:05,313
or is that just
for the people on stage?
357
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,511
Hey, Lois, will you snap
a 'gram for us?
358
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,324
So, the-the button
in the middle?
359
00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:19,085
Yeah, portrait mode.
Slap on a Hudson filter.
360
00:16:19,169 --> 00:16:21,162
The-the big button?
Peter?!
361
00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:24,332
Lois, please, I'm doing my
Charles in Charge word find.
362
00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:27,401
Now, where are those
two Ds for "Buddy"?
363
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,869
They-they just left?
364
00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:43,148
Huh. Thought you kids
didn't take naps.
365
00:16:43,233 --> 00:16:45,318
Now you're all just sleeping
at the bottom of the pool?
366
00:16:45,402 --> 00:16:46,811
Oh, my God!
367
00:16:55,717 --> 00:16:57,117
Guys, we're here.
368
00:16:57,202 --> 00:17:00,272
Yup, there's the local mosquito
and gnat population,
369
00:17:00,357 --> 00:17:02,124
anxiously awaiting my arrival.
370
00:17:05,803 --> 00:17:08,872
All right, time for
a fallen-arch, flip-flop
371
00:17:08,956 --> 00:17:10,731
two-mile walk to the gate.
372
00:17:23,137 --> 00:17:24,745
Uhp, I got a leaf.
373
00:17:53,092 --> 00:17:55,434
Geez, we've been walking
for 20 minutes.
374
00:17:56,279 --> 00:17:58,271
You guys can tap out any time.
375
00:17:58,355 --> 00:18:01,349
I know you both have
searing IPA sun headaches.
376
00:18:01,433 --> 00:18:03,427
There's ibuprofen
in my backpack.
377
00:18:03,511 --> 00:18:06,613
Admit you're old,
and it's yours.
378
00:18:06,697 --> 00:18:08,281
No.
Never.
379
00:18:08,365 --> 00:18:10,542
We're getting close.
I can see the stages.
380
00:18:10,626 --> 00:18:13,803
Oh, there's nothing there.
That's just a mirage.
381
00:18:19,085 --> 00:18:21,627
The porta potties
are a mirage, too.
382
00:18:34,208 --> 00:18:36,551
Thanks for waiting, guys.
I really had to go number one.
383
00:18:36,635 --> 00:18:38,628
Oh, my God, what are we doing?
384
00:18:38,712 --> 00:18:40,313
Peter just crapped
in the parking lot.
385
00:18:40,397 --> 00:18:42,632
- We can't do this.
- What's wrong?
386
00:18:42,716 --> 00:18:43,742
Are you guys not super amped?
387
00:18:43,826 --> 00:18:45,969
No!
No, we're old!
388
00:18:46,053 --> 00:18:47,320
We hate this ****!
389
00:18:47,404 --> 00:18:50,922
- W-Well, this is a surprise.
- Oh, shut up.
390
00:18:51,007 --> 00:18:53,401
And they're only teenagers,
and not cool ones.
391
00:18:53,485 --> 00:18:55,359
If you two idiots
weren't wearing
392
00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:59,012
terrible Warby Parker glasses,
you would have seen that.
393
00:18:59,530 --> 00:19:01,015
Oh, my God!
394
00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:03,169
Look, we're sorry
we lied to you.
395
00:19:03,253 --> 00:19:06,202
We thought it would be fun
to act like young parents again.
396
00:19:06,287 --> 00:19:08,859
But you don't have kids
to have fun.
397
00:19:08,944 --> 00:19:10,843
You have kids
to use as an excuse
398
00:19:10,928 --> 00:19:12,329
to never leave the house.
399
00:19:12,413 --> 00:19:14,831
Can you guys at least Venmo
us for the tickets?
400
00:19:14,915 --> 00:19:17,759
I don't know what that is!
401
00:19:17,843 --> 00:19:20,261
And that's okay.
Ha.
402
00:19:20,345 --> 00:19:21,763
Chris, give us the ibuprofen
403
00:19:21,847 --> 00:19:24,007
and text the driver
to pick us up here.
404
00:19:24,091 --> 00:19:26,510
I don't know how to do it.
405
00:19:26,594 --> 00:19:28,512
Are we done?
Thank God.
406
00:19:28,596 --> 00:19:31,413
I'm gonna go get a water
at that 7-Eleven over there.
407
00:19:43,157 --> 00:19:45,296
Ugh, I ruined my pants.
408
00:19:48,949 --> 00:19:50,516
Circle of life.
409
00:19:56,887 --> 00:19:59,116
I hated every minute of this.
410
00:20:04,597 --> 00:20:07,976
Well, we had quite an adventure,
but I think we learned
411
00:20:08,061 --> 00:20:10,117
a valuable lesson.
Isn't that right, Chris?
412
00:20:10,202 --> 00:20:12,046
I don't know.
I'd love to stay and talk,
413
00:20:12,131 --> 00:20:15,057
but I've got a catamaran client
I got to check on.
414
00:20:18,865 --> 00:20:21,523
- Uh, what's going on?
- Sorry, Chris.
415
00:20:21,608 --> 00:20:24,445
There's a hungry new player
in the catamaran game.
416
00:20:24,530 --> 00:20:27,932
While you were at Quachella,
I was building relationships.
417
00:20:28,016 --> 00:20:30,789
That's all the catamaran
business is, Chris...
418
00:20:30,874 --> 00:20:32,819
Relationships.
419
00:20:32,904 --> 00:20:36,399
Losing my best client
like that was a real epiphany for me,
420
00:20:36,622 --> 00:20:39,796
and I knew immediately
that I had two choices:
421
00:20:39,881 --> 00:20:43,428
I could give up or I could
sneak into a Ramada Inn
422
00:20:43,513 --> 00:20:45,608
and wander up
to an unguarded podium.
423
00:20:45,693 --> 00:20:47,611
I chose the latter.
424
00:20:47,844 --> 00:20:51,264
And it has made
all the difference!
425
00:20:51,572 --> 00:20:54,173
"Glory Days"
by Bruce Springsteen plays...
426
00:20:54,948 --> 00:20:56,107
♪ Yeah ♪
427
00:20:57,069 --> 00:20:58,577
♪ Come on ♪
428
00:20:59,031 --> 00:21:00,499
♪ Whoo! ♪
32689
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