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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,962
? It seems today that all you see ?
2
00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:08,174
? Is violence in movies and sex on TV ?
3
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,928
? But where are those
good old-fashioned values ?
4
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:14,847
? On which we used to rely? ?
5
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,434
? Lucky there's a family guy ?
6
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:21,604
? Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ?
7
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,189
? All the things that make us ?
8
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,690
? Laugh and cry ?
9
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:30,155
? He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ?
10
00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:34,368
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
11
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,538
Well, here we are.
12
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,082
Oh, and if you hear the guys
call me "Poopy Thumb,"
13
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,458
I-it's just a fun nickname,
14
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:44,001
it's not something
that actually happened.
15
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,795
Hey, Poopy Thumb.
16
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:48,589
It was Gulden's Spicy Brown
Mustard from my sandwich.
17
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,799
How many times do I have to say it?!
18
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,300
Okay.
19
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:54,303
No need to relitigate
what four of our peers saw.
20
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,846
Hi, everyone.
21
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:58,057
I'm your children's teacher, Miss Laura,
22
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,893
and like pretty much everyone
in America right now,
23
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:05,439
I'm very high on legalized edible pot.
24
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,401
Ha-ha.
25
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:13,489
It's crazy how much
your kids look like you.
26
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,991
Wha...
27
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,784
Peter, pay attention.
28
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:19,203
Sorry, I was having
a Fast Times daydream
29
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,080
about that tank top mom.
30
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,540
Yeah, that's disgusting.
31
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,834
How would you like it
if she did that to you?
32
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:37,972
I chocked on water
33
00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:40,601
and had to get mouth-to-mouth
from a guy.
34
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,062
Five, four,
35
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:48,190
three, two, one...
36
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:49,442
Yay!
37
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,193
All right, that's officially
38
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,529
the latest any of us have ever been up.
39
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,197
Oh-ho!
40
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,824
A little tired, Stewie?
41
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:59,160
No. I just yawned
because somebody else yawned.
42
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:00,828
I could do this all night. You tired?
43
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,955
Oh, no. At home,
they call me the night...
44
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,462
Is Garrick Utley alive?
45
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,797
I... I don't know, Peter.
46
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,633
Hey, I've been meaning
to ask you all night...
47
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,636
Those vintage pants are amazing,
where did you get them?
48
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,597
Oh, they were folded neatly
on a toilet in the gas station.
49
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,223
Hey, you know,
we're starting a text chain
50
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,975
with some of the other young parents.
51
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,060
Young parents?
52
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,604
Yeah, new parents like us
have to stick together.
53
00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:28,147
Yes, we do.
54
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,815
Because we're very young.
55
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,192
Great. Can we get your number?
56
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,902
Sure. We're Lakeside 4-7...
57
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:35,404
He's kidding.
We'll hit you with the digits.
58
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:37,365
Great.
59
00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:39,700
Oh, my God, Peter, did you hear that?
60
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,786
What? I'm chewing celery.
I can't hear anything.
61
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:44,080
They think Stewie's our first.
62
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,706
Ah! They think we're young.
63
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,042
- You're hurting me.
- This is our chance.
64
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:49,627
Our chance to break away
65
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,712
from the Joes and Bonnies of the world.
66
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,923
Our chance to finally make cool friends.
67
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,424
Well, I don't know what
you're saying, Lois,
68
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:58,219
but that horse is the dumbest horse
69
00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,471
I have ever seen in my life.
70
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:01,931
It hurt to hear,
71
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:05,601
but deep down,
I respected him for saying it.
72
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,937
Finally someone had told me the truth.
73
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:11,691
And that boy grew up to have a
multiplatinum recording career.
74
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,818
Hi, I'm Richard Marx,
75
00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:16,237
and I suck at making clay horses,
76
00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:19,198
but ask your wife if she cares.
77
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,742
? Wherever you go ?
78
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:24,203
? Whatever you do ?
79
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,289
? I will be right here ?
80
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,127
? Waiting for you. ?
81
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,594
Oh, my God, it's from Matt and Kate
82
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:41,846
on that text chain. Uh,
83
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:45,975
"Heading out for 'ritas downtown
with the other young parents.
84
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,643
Meet in 15?"
85
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,562
Oh, Peter, we have to go!
86
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,148
Now?
87
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,236
Peter, look.
88
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,321
The menu doesn't have dollar signs.
89
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,615
It just has a number and a period.
90
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,534
Ah! I feel like I'm in Brooklyn!
91
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:05,995
Damn it, all the employees
are wearing regular clothes,
92
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,290
so it's impossible
to ask anybody for help.
93
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,755
Griffins.
94
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:17,840
Uh, you want to sit at
the high-seat low-table,
95
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,341
or the low-seat high-table?
96
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,429
How about those four old barber chairs
97
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,515
around the operating tables
from the state insane asylum?
98
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,100
Ah, isn't this place great?
99
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,226
Amazing.
100
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,395
Hi, my name is Isaac.
I'll be your server.
101
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,897
Have you all eaten with us before?
102
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,940
No, but I get how restaurants work.
103
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,027
Now, what can I get for you, hon?
104
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,947
Well, this is us.
105
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,991
Boy, I almost
don't want this night to end.
106
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,076
- Me either.
- Well, I got an idea.
107
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,704
You mind if I use your bathroom
to do number two?
108
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,916
Wow, your place is amazing.
109
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:55,377
A pool, a spa, and all
the lights are on dimmers.
110
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,755
And a digital thermostat.
111
00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:59,882
Oh, my God, it's like
we're on a spaceship.
112
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,592
Well, there's an open unit
113
00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,219
if you guys are interested.
114
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:05,262
Is the toilet a bit better in that one?
115
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,347
Actually, it's kind of embarrassing,
116
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,807
but the toilet in that one is shaped
117
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,309
like a Hungry Hungry Hippo.
118
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:19,944
I don't know, Peter.
119
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:22,613
It just doesn't feel
like the responsible thing
120
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,865
to abandon Chris and Meg.
121
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:27,618
The polka dot top goes with
the white bottoms, too, right?
122
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,745
Oh, definitely. Very old Hollywood.
123
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,748
Perfect. I mean,
I guess they are teenagers.
124
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:36,001
- And helicopter parents, right?
- What?
125
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,170
Helicopter parents.
It's something I read.
126
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,880
- Oh.
- Now you say it.
127
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:43,259
- Say what?
- Helicopter parents.
128
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:44,803
Exactly.
129
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:51,100
Now, I stocked the freezer with
plenty to eat while we're gone.
130
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:54,061
- On the top shelf...
- But all I heard was...
131
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:57,231
Not pizza. Not pizza. Not pizza.
132
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,733
And finally, this is calamari.
133
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,986
This is my placenta. Are you listening?
134
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,696
You're gonna want to watch
where I point.
135
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,448
- Calamari, placenta.
- Who died again?
136
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:09,660
Meg, listen to the lies. Nobody died.
137
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:12,830
An aunt of your father's
or mine is very ill.
138
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,582
And why is Stewie going with you?
139
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,375
Stewie loved Uncle Grandpa.
140
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,043
Wait, uncle? I thought you said...
141
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,005
Helicopter parents. Let's go, Lois.
142
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,845
Wow, they're really gone.
143
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,889
You know what that means.
144
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,224
We can finally crate Brian!
145
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:36,228
He tricked us, and we're
still waiting on that lasagne.
146
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,230
Chris, that was the trick.
147
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,398
Oh.
148
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,901
He tricked us!
149
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,781
Ah, look, we're in apartment 4G.
150
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,074
Like the iPhone.
151
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,243
That's stupid, Lois.
Don't ever say that again.
152
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,787
Hey, how's everything going in there?
153
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,332
Great. We're in apartment 4G,
like the iPhone.
154
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,000
That's so twisted.
155
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,793
- Did you make that up?
- Yes.
156
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:02,171
You guys get settled,
then a few of us are gonna sit
157
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,840
by the firepit and say
"mid-century modern" a lot,
158
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,425
if you want to join.
159
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,677
- They like us.
- This is it, Peter.
160
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,971
We're gonna vape. We're gonna vape!
161
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,017
It's causing deaths,
but not that many yet.
162
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:22,191
Ugh, I can't believe I ate
both Tupperwares of calamari.
163
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,486
But I'm still hungry.
164
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,946
What do we have left to eat?
165
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,113
I'm not gonna say we're out of food,
166
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:32,076
but anything still in
the fridge I have made love to.
167
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:35,829
Man, this broom-handle-poked
tapioca is delicious.
168
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,790
Chris had sex with that.
169
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:41,002
- Relax, I didn't finish.
- Oh.
170
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:52,179
All right, Stewie, you have a playdate
171
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:55,265
with Cobain, Siddhartha and Atticus.
172
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:58,477
And if anyone asks,
you have plenty of sunscreen on.
173
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,188
- But I don't...
- Bye.
174
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,732
Hey, I'm Cobain. Want a strawberry Quik?
175
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,901
Sure, I want a strawberry,
but what's the hurry?
176
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,028
Stewie Griffin, 4G, like the iPhone.
177
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:11,198
Ha. I like you.
Our deck needed a wild card.
178
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,992
Cobain, now that you're my best friend,
179
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,410
can I ask you a question?
180
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,911
When is nap time?
181
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,330
Because it's 2:15,
and I'm about to collapse.
182
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,540
Oh, we don't take naps.
183
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,792
No naps? Well, then, when is bed time?
184
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:24,294
- Whenever.
- My God, when do you grow?
185
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:27,047
- We don't. I'm six.
- You're six?
186
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:30,134
- Why are you so small?
- I only eat tofu and seaweed.
187
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:33,012
- Nothing in a cage.
- You've never had parakeet?
188
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,763
No. Have you?
189
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,350
No, but it looks really yummy
in the cartoons.
190
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,108
All right, Peter, we can't
look like we don't belong,
191
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:49,153
so when they ask you what
you want to drink, just say
192
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:53,657
- "Local. Micro. Brew."
- Local. Micro. Brew.
193
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,242
Local. Micro. Brew.
194
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:57,119
Hey, Peter, what can I get you to drink?
195
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,620
Give us a drop o' sherry, luv.
196
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,247
- Peter!
- I'm-I'm sorry. I mean...
197
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,459
Local. Micro. Brew.
198
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:10,466
Hi, we're Lois and Peter in 4G.
199
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,009
I really like your green pants.
200
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,803
Oh, thanks, I found them
folded neatly on a toilet.
201
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,848
I-I mean, I...
I only buy pants from companies
202
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:20,476
that donate the same pair
to a Third World country.
203
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:23,854
Run home with these expired
military condoms, Ndugu.
204
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,731
Run and make sure they use them.
205
00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,681
I found Mom and Dad.
206
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,558
Wait, what? Where are they?
207
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,727
Well, first I need to explain
how I found them.
208
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,229
Let me start from the beginning.
209
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,314
You know how I operate
a small Internet company
210
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,608
where I buy and sell chlorine, right?
211
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,527
- No.
- Chris' Chlorine?
212
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:14,071
- What?
- Chris' Chlorine?
213
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:15,948
Chris, I have no idea what...
214
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,658
Chris' Chlorine!
215
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,451
Stop just yelling that!
216
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,537
Well, anyway, my guy
at Millennial Village
217
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:25,165
Luxury Apartments was buying
extra chlorine this week.
218
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,459
Seems they've been finding
a lot of loose burger meat
219
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,544
in the pool.
220
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,671
And who do we know
that likes to go swimming
221
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,172
with loose burger meat?
222
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:35,300
- Oh, my God, Dad!
- Bingo.
223
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,427
But more importantly, are you satisfied
224
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,429
with your chlorine supplier, Meg?
225
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:41,348
Do you realize that
most people don't have
226
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:44,101
a personal relationship
with their chlorine dealer?
227
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,019
How crazy is that?
228
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,521
Chris, we got to go
to that apartment building
229
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:49,314
and bust Mom and Dad.
230
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,067
I'm on board, Meg, just
got to take this call first.
231
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:55,028
Christopher's Catamarans.
Been running a side business.
232
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,613
Hello?
233
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:57,739
Aw, wrong number.
234
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,116
Anyway, Meg, are you happy
235
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:01,161
with your catamaran supplier?
236
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,540
Shouldn't we be confronting
our parents right now?
237
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:10,085
I know, it's so crazy
how they moved out of the house.
238
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,129
But you know what's really crazy?
239
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:15,215
Paying big showroom
prices for catamarans.
240
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:18,218
Meg, do you want to pay for
someone else's brick and mortar?
241
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:20,554
Or do you want to pay for your own fun
242
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,222
and freedom on the waves?
243
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,765
I really think that we
should be getting back.
244
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,726
Hang on, hang on.
245
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,227
I got to get this call.
246
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,146
Randy's Screen and Window Supply.
247
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:30,772
That's not another one of my businesses.
248
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,316
I run an answering service.
249
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,359
Although I'd be remiss
if I didn't mention
250
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,696
that I am dying to get into
the screen and window business.
251
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,239
If you have an in, Meg,
252
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,491
just anyone in the window game
I could take to coffee,
253
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:43,702
you know, and just pick
their brains about win...
254
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,121
No, Chris. I'm sorry, I don't.
255
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,749
Yeah, no, it's cool.
Sorry. I'm still here.
256
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:54,881
Windows and Screens Unlimited,
we beat any price.
257
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,428
So, Griffins,
258
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:04,806
what do you think
of our little oasis in Quahog?
259
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,308
I like it, but I can't believe
260
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,185
we're all going to college next year.
261
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,561
Peter, that's too young.
262
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,438
I mean, have you gotten
a reverse mortgage
263
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:14,066
- like Joe Namath suggests?
- Too old.
264
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,485
Hey, gang,
there's a new couple moving in.
265
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,737
Look at that, Lois.
We're no longer the new couple.
266
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,156
The heat is off.
267
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,118
- Oh, my God.
- I know.
268
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,497
That's the guy
from the catamaran commercial.
269
00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:35,545
So, you two just moved to the complex?
270
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:38,090
What did you say your names were again?
271
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,592
I'm Dylan and this is my wife, Dylan.
272
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:43,845
Oh... same name couple.
That's the dream.
273
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:46,390
I have an idea, why don't
we all play a board game?
274
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:47,766
Great idea.
275
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,936
Have you guys ever played
The Wrath of the Star Eclipse:
276
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,438
Empire: Twilight of Destruction?
277
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:56,149
Wh-What is that? Is that...
is that like Sorry!?
278
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:59,236
Um, does Sorry! Have a 900-sided die
279
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,280
and its own language of rules?
280
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,864
Oh, we love that game.
281
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,450
Yeah, that sounds like fun.
282
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,869
Why don't you guys set it up,
and we'll get our new friends
283
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,913
drinks from the kitchen, huh?
284
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,332
What the hell do you guys
think you're doing?
285
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,168
I could ask you
the same question, and I shall.
286
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,462
What the hell do you guys
think you're doing?!
287
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,839
I'll tell you what we're doing...
288
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,133
Having fun for the first time
in our lives.
289
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,551
And we're not gonna let you ruin that.
290
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:25,679
Well, we're gonna expose you
as the old farts you are.
291
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,806
Oh, you're gonna expose us?
292
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:28,932
Did you hear that, Peter?
293
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,684
Don't care, long as you don't pan
294
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,478
no nuggets off me claim.
295
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,148
I went way back.
296
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:41,862
Okay, Peter, your turn.
297
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,280
Uh...
298
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:44,865
Why are you looking
at your navigation chart
299
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,199
when we're still at the beginning
300
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,492
of the first build phase?
301
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,953
You know what I like to do
when I play games?
302
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,247
Ask people when they were born.
303
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,582
Pete, you go first.
304
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,709
Oh, that's an easy question. 19...
305
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:02,799
Uh, uh, nine... 90.90.11.
306
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,676
I was born on 9/11.
307
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,261
Well, what about you guys?
308
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,347
You seem like a very happy couple,
309
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,682
yet I haven't seen you even kiss yet.
310
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,976
This is why I said
we should've practiced.
311
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,145
I can't kiss at the moment.
312
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,522
I have raging HPV in my throat.
313
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:20,567
Compliments of m'lady's Florida sojourn.
314
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:23,195
What a fun Gen Z time we're having.
315
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,571
We should take a photo.
316
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:28,618
Lois, why don't you take a photo
and AirDrop it to us?
317
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,871
Of course, AirDrop.
318
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,374
That's easy.
319
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,417
Oh, whoops.
320
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,252
Dropped my phone.
321
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,631
Peter, can you help me pick this up?
322
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,716
What the hell is AirDrop? Is that Wi-Fi?
323
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,551
I think it's a medical term for a fart.
324
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,261
Is that the button you hit on the plane?
325
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,514
- I never turn it off on a plane.
- How do you ask Siri?
326
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:51,723
I think you mean "celery."
327
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,350
- Hey, celery.
- It's definitely Siri.
328
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,851
- Yeah, I'm wrong.
- Peter, we got to get out of this.
329
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,686
I'll-I'll just throw up,
everyone will have to leave.
330
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:59,272
- Can you really do that?
- Yeah, I taught myself in sixth grade.
331
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,275
- I'm gonna do it.
- Okay. Okay. I'm in. I'm in.
332
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,739
Aw, gee whiz.
333
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,367
Aw, sorry, guys.
Looks like the party's over.
334
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:12,412
We'll AirDrop another time.
335
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,209
Ah, Sunday.
336
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,420
Perfect day to dangle
my feet in the pool
337
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,548
with the other heavier wives.
338
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:27,802
Ah, loose burger meat on a sunny day.
339
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,887
This is nice, isn't it, Beverly?
340
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,514
Bev? Isn't it?
341
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:35,058
- Uh-huh.
- Well, then say it.
342
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,436
Uh, you guys, the Dylans
just had the best idea.
343
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,063
What do you say we all
go to Quachella with a Q,
344
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,232
Quahog's three-day music festival?
345
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:44,401
Oh, music festival, huh?
346
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,236
You think the von Trapps'll stick around
347
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:47,821
to pick up their award this time?
348
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,365
I don't know about them,
but they're gonna have holograms
349
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:53,410
of Tupac and also Nipsey Hussle,
who I'd never heard of
350
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:55,579
and then was told
to care immensely about.
351
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,539
So, this was the Dylans' idea?
352
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,374
Oh, oh, we can't take credit for it.
353
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,001
Any young person would've thought of it.
354
00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:03,378
Do I have to wear a tuxedo
like Frank and Sammy
355
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,505
or is that just for the people on stage?
356
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:08,509
?
357
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:13,347
Hey, Lois, will you snap a 'gram for us?
358
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,683
So, the-the button in the middle?
359
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:19,311
Yeah, portrait mode.
Slap on a Hudson filter.
360
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,605
The-the big button? Peter?!
361
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:24,649
Lois, please, I'm doing my
Charles in Charge word find.
362
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,695
Now, where are those two Ds for "Buddy"?
363
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,413
?
364
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:41,082
They-they just left?
365
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,959
Huh. Thought you kids didn't take naps.
366
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,212
Now you're all just sleeping
at the bottom of the pool?
367
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,006
Oh, my God!
368
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,182
Guys, we're here.
369
00:16:57,183 --> 00:17:00,393
Yup, there's the local mosquito
and gnat population,
370
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:02,229
anxiously awaiting my arrival.
371
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,860
All right, time for
a fallen-arch, flip-flop
372
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,738
two-mile walk to the gate.
373
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:24,794
Uhp, I got a leaf.
374
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,241
Geez, we've been walking for 20 minutes.
375
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,451
You guys can tap out any time.
376
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:01,454
I know you both have
searing IPA sun headaches.
377
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,498
There's ibuprofen in my backpack.
378
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:06,710
Admit you're old, and it's yours.
379
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,420
No. Never.
380
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,714
We're getting close.
I can see the stages.
381
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:13,634
Oh, there's nothing there.
That's just a mirage.
382
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,434
The porta potties are a mirage, too.
383
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,698
Thanks for waiting, guys.
I really had to go number one.
384
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:38,658
Oh, my God, what are we doing?
385
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,535
Peter just crapped in the parking lot.
386
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,621
- We can't do this.
- What's wrong?
387
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:43,955
Are you guys not super amped?
388
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,082
No! No, we're old!
389
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,542
We hate this (BLEEP)!
390
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:50,795
- W-Well, this is a surprise.
- Oh, shut up.
391
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,590
And they're only teenagers,
and not cool ones.
392
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:55,050
If you two idiots weren't wearing
393
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:58,763
terrible Warby Parker glasses,
you would have seen that.
394
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,097
Oh, my God!
395
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,183
Look, we're sorry we lied to you.
396
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:06,353
We thought it would be fun
to act like young parents again.
397
00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:08,730
But you don't have kids to have fun.
398
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,982
You have kids to use as an excuse
399
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,442
to never leave the house.
400
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:14,944
Can you guys at least Venmo
us for the tickets?
401
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:17,947
I don't know what that is!
402
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:20,450
And that's okay. Ha.
403
00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:21,951
Chris, give us the ibuprofen
404
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:24,037
and text the driver to pick us up here.
405
00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:26,665
I don't know how to do it.
406
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,667
Are we done? Thank God.
407
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,045
I'm gonna go get a water
at that 7-Eleven over there.
408
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,226
Ugh, I ruined my pants.
409
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,648
Circle of life.
410
00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:59,448
I hated every minute of this.
411
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:07,580
Well, we had quite an adventure,
but I think we learned
412
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:10,333
a valuable lesson.
Isn't that right, Chris?
413
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:11,876
I don't know. I'd love to stay and talk,
414
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,547
but I've got a catamaran client
I got to check on.
415
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:21,594
- Uh, what's going on?
- Sorry, Chris.
416
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:24,431
There's a hungry new player
in the catamaran game.
417
00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:27,976
While you were at Quachella,
I was building relationships.
418
00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,812
That's all the catamaran
business is, Chris...
419
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:32,731
Relationships.
420
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:36,067
Losing my best client
like that was a real epiphany for me,
421
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:39,654
and I knew immediately
that I had two choices:
422
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:43,408
I could give up or I could
sneak into a Ramada Inn
423
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,702
and wander up to an unguarded podium.
424
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:47,787
I chose the latter.
425
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:51,124
And it has made all the difference!
426
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,379
? Yeah ?
427
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,048
? Come on ?
428
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,968
? Whoo! ?
31858
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