Original subtitles

...

Jazz music rhythm

...

- It is B, my love.

It smells like the start of at start !

Wait...

Yes !

You haven't forgotten the cream ? - I have everything.

- You're sure ? - Yes.

...

- I'm happy to leave.

Do you realize ? This is awesome.

- The suitcases on the name of sir. - Thank you !

- The passport of madam ?

- Papers, baby.

- Thank you.

It is no longer valid.

- How is it ?

- Look, 2015. It is out of date.

- It is not true.

- I had looked at. For me, it was good.

- It was good !

- Yes, but...

- You do not have an identity card ?

- No, wait, I did redo...

I have the card Vital.

"You're serious, here ?

- This is France ! - It does what ?

- You can leave, but not your wife.

- It is not possible, it.

We won the contest for "Moon 2 honey", a week all inclusive for two.

- There is nothing I can do about it, sir.

In addition, we will soon close registration.

Do you decide.

- A map of the Position, is it not ? - Not more, not.

- It is destiny, it was not that I left.

- Tu déconnes, my angel.

- It's not so bad.

You stop not to say that you're tired.

You're going to rest.

- I'm tired ? - Yes.

- I'm in great shape, it is you.

- I can't go... - I look tired ?

Frankly ?

I'm tired, there ? - Hush...

- Huh ?

- You have to give a performance. I get home.

- You're right, pars.

I'm going to spread there.

- You're gonna what ?

- I'm going to spread. - Te "spread" ?

What elegance !

You think I'm toast, me ?

In 11 years of couple, you think I am toast ?

It has been what, 11 years ?

We did a concert of U2,

and it was in places rotten in the rain,

the Futuroscope theme park and a rugby match.

You think I am toast ? - Paloma, stop.

- Our couple is in the process of drowning.

You don't want to send us a lifeline ?

You, you're there, you think of your little trip shit

that you have earned with your schemes.

We do everything according to thy schemes.

Discounts, free maps...

There's nothing that comes from you, Bruno.

And I don't want to kiss every Saturday in front of Ruquier.

I don't want to !

And then I want you to tell me "I love you".

It is not normal that it is so complicated

to deliver his feelings to his wife.

Everyone

said "I love you" in a couple's life.

Everybody says ! You not say so ?

- Paloma...

Your vanity case !

- It is that, get you ! Dirty whore !

If I can help...

*-Passengers for the flight New York 711

are asked to introduce themselves door B.

She repeated the announcement in English.

...

- It hurts.

It will come back.

They always come back.

What is the name of your girlfriend ?

- Paloma. - Ridiculous. And you ?

- Bruno.

- Not beautiful, it, Bruno.

It smells like the ham and butter, the bowling shoe.

To me, it is Jean-Paul.

Jean-Paul Cisse.

In your place, I would not.

- I'm going to ask you to take care of your business.

A phone rings.

...

- Yes.

- Fucking.

- You see the display panel ? The flight to Rio.

If it is cancelled,

go, you go without it.

3,

2,

1...

Cancelled.

I am not mistaken never.

One of my buddies works in the luggage.

Porter, but...

It is a condom, it.

- It was.

- Strawberry, I guess.

I would be you, I'd leave.

Think about it, guys.

Your wife, it is The Voice. You've returned without the know.

Now it is you and your next 20 years.

The best way for her to come back,

it is that you partes.

Hi, guy.

You have 7 days to think about it.

7 days.

Caribbean music

...

- Go, I let you follow Pauline.

- Welcome to Guadeloupe.

- It is a Story.

Hi, darlings !

It is in Guadeloupe to celebrate the divorce of my sister, Caroline.

Oh yeah, Caro is now single.

- I have a head horrible !

Caribbean music

...

- Excuse me, how do you say "sack" in creole ?

- Hello, welcome to the Princess.

- Oh then, sumo !

You come for a month or what ?

- It is to my wife. It was a concern to the embarkation.

- So much the better.

Here, we come not with her for 4 hours.

What I'm not, I'll leave it.

- Thank you. You're nice, you.

"Go on, get in the cart !

Are you alright ? - It will.

- 4515, this is my room.

- I'm there to watch.

- You're his mother ? - Yes.

- I'm too young, sorry.

- There is a place there, if you want to.

- It's going to go, madame.

- Not "madame", Lucienne.

But people call me Lulu.

- OK.

- By the way, I am retired

and widow.

Very widow.

So free.

Very free.

- It is good to know. Very thanks.

- When I say "free"-,

it is really free.

- I have lost my bundle, it is the cata.

My bundle.

*"For a flirt with you", by Michel Delpech

...

- For a flirtation with you

- I'll Do ANYTHING

FOR A FLIRT

WITH YOU

I WOULD BE READY FOR ANYTHING

FOR A SIMPLE APPOINTMENT

FOR A FLIRT

I'll be clear : I do not want to talk about it.

OK ?

- OK.

It falls well, I have nothing to say.

...

*-One applauds Bernard, please !

Very beautiful interpretation.

The Stuffed animals, I present myself.

I am Pepito, your village chief.

I will be there during your stay

with the magnificent, mesmerizing, voluptuous Pauline !

Your teacher of zouk and merengue, but also Thibault,

for all that is activities,

sports, recreation, and more if affinities.

- Last point :

Pauline is going to present the extras. Cruise VIP...

- It is necessary to be wary with their extras.

It can get quickly.

And above all, avoid tap water.

Me brushing teeth, I'm flushed for 15 days.

It is expensive-fresh breath.

- Forget about the worry, the Metropolis, we think of entertainment.

Good stay, everyone, and welcome to the Princess.

*Alexandra Stan : "Mr. Saxobeat"

...

"Very good. Thank you.

...

- It is how your baggage ?

- It is...

It is a backpack shaped backpack,

with business, rather important.

- A travel bag.

- Not a backpack.

A small knot.

- Anyway, sir, "Cissé", we are going to find.

- "Cisse."

C, i, s, s, e. Jean-Paul Cisse,

and not "Jean-Paul-Cisse", all attached.

This is "Jean-Paul" later "Cisse".

Much further than that.

Matt on the curb, Santa Claus.

- Ah, like the pope.

- Nothing to see. I had no place to write the name in full.

To me, it is Cisse, as "sausage", without the "uaa".

If I was "lata", it would "chipolata"

without "chipo". Or "bottle" without "alf", it would...

- It would be "con".

We understood. - Well.

I will already give you your room key.

The house of sir.

The house of sir.

- There was a wolf ?

- I am the winner of the contest "Moon 2 honey".

"Very good. I need the passport of your wife.

- It has been a small impediment.

You're all alone ?

- Apparently.

- So, you have the right to 114, the Guava,

bridal with sea views.

Would you like that ? "Very good. Thank you very much.

Music to the rhythms of the islands

...

- Bruno !

- Yes ?

- You have your room ?

- Yes.

- I have to wait. Still a wolf. It becomes a pack.

- Good holiday.

- Ditto !

...

There is a knock at the door.

...

- Can I speak to you ?

It was a problem of spaces,

and you will adjust very quickly.

But as you are the only one

and that Mr. Sausage has no room,

then we thought

that you would share. - What ?

It is not the colo !

Where is the director ?

- It is returned. No one will not before tomorrow.

- I'm going to sleep on the beach, I usually.

I am a buddhist.

- It is good.

OK.

Stay.

Fix the problem tomorrow.

- I promise. It is very nice. You are a brave man.

"Oh, there, it is big.

Oh, mashed potatoes !

He blows the whistle.

The view, for crying out loud !

Thank you.

Sorry, it should not last long.

They have an interest.

I'm not violent, but when it is necessary to...

I hit.

- Yes... Hello, baby.

You have to sleep.

I arrived well and I am sorry that you are not there.

In addition,

it has a gorgeous terrace that overlooks the beach.

Here it is. I kiss you.

It was Bruno.

Finally, it is Bruno.

- It has recovered

its portable ? - Is phone pro.

She is a nurse.

The other, it has more battery.

- I say, I hope we will not have a tsunami,

otherwise, one is in the VIP saloon, there.

Ah...

- Attention to my shirts.

- Maniac ?

- I'm just taking care of my business.

- Maniac.

- Yes, it's me again.

I just wanted to say that...

I am thinking of you. Here it is. I kiss you.

The cap explodes.

- If I can afford,

I would stop calling.

I understand that you tell me not.

It is a bit special,

as a situation. Me too, I'm embarrassed.

I'm bashful ! It is not remake.

I don't want that if I turn my back when I sleep.

I'll tell you,

your nana, if you want to recover, there are not 36 methods, there is only one.

- Excuse me,

you intend to stay naked ?

I have the impression of being in a service station.

- Ouch !

Thank you for the compliment.

Be kind, don't address me with respect, it puts me ill at ease.

Ooh !

I beseech thee,

out of respect for the situation,

put a pair of panties.

- If you listen to me, you récupères.

From now on, more new.

You call her more.

If she calls you, you don't take.

Zero message, zero SMS, zero WhatsApp,

nothing.

- Is your board ?

- Perfectly, my friend.

Listen, very quickly, she will say :

"Where is it ? It does what ? With who ?"

It will ask questions, and that,

it is good for you, my friend.

Thank you for the shirt.

For the bottoms, I'll take that one.

- OK. Agree.

But at some point, it is necessary that I speak to him.

- Exact ! At one point, "the moment", it's going to be called.

You hangs : "Hello ? Hi. It's going to ?" Style is very detached,

very scandinavian.

You tell him :

"Uh... Listen, baby, we will not play 107 years.

"See you all later

"or we forget."

If she ever has the nerve to answer you :

"I know not,

"I'm not sure"-,

you tell him : "I have more than 12 years, I stopped the mornings for children."

And there you raccroches.

This is tango, my friend.

And by disappearing, you keep the mystery.

You become a myth.

- If she calls me

this evening, nicely,

it proposes that we set things flat,

I sends a le directly ? - No, it is bad.

No, no.

The mystery, Bruno.

The mystery.

You'll see, you're going to create in it a desire.

It is like that.

It's the disorder.

- You did what ?

- I put away the scissors.

- No, there, there, there !

- I removed the logo. I am not a pub !

- And my sleeves ? You're a crazy.

- Ok, OK.

Oh là là !

Oh, the dude !

We made a hem to his shirt, he goes up to the ceiling.

I understand your nana.

- This is it

that I was offered.

- We had to start there.

Symbolically, this is excellent.

Excellent.

It looks nice down there. One goes there ?

- No, no, I will still be there.

I am K. O.

- And it is party for the holidays !

We immediately attacked with the madison.

*Chris Anderson and DJ Robbie : Last Night"

Here we go, we tip, we tip and turn.

It is easy.

...

- Uh... 2 Bora-Bora, please. You take something ?

Then 4 Bora-Bora all inclusive !

- I am not held to it.

I'm a shit, she's right.

- Stop. You're wrong, there.

- It has a guy, that's clear.

- Surely.

Maybe even two.

A girl who deceives a man, it is the 1st time that counts.

After that, it is filling.

- Must be flat with thee.

...

- 2 Zombies Coco, beautiful brown.

- Yes, baby Lulu.

- Sorry for this morning at the airport.

You're a clever one. Flattening it to his wife before the holidays,

this is as close its window before the storm.

You're fortiche.

- I will spoil you, my lucky !

- It is of Canadians. "The Owls", they are called.

They fuck the day and come out at night.

- Of the drug addicts, whatever.

I have branches that grow.

I'm going to try and find a lumberjack.

...

- Go for it, hand-me 4 Terminator.

- It likes you well, little rabbit.

- No, not too my taste.

He has too big ears.

*-Come On, Princess,

give me all you got.

Hakuna... - MATATA !

Hakuna... - MATATA !

- Couscous. - MERGUEZ !

- Couscous. - MERGUEZ !

- Hakuna...

- MATATA !

- Hakuna... - MATATA !

*Alexandra Stan : "Mr. Saxobeat"

...

- 2 Boleros, please.

- You got lucky. Me, I have more thirst.

It's boring, it's free.

Put me in for two when even.

It would be too beast.

- You rebuke ? - Yes !

- Put the 8 !

...

- Where you going ?

- You're right, I fuck up.

She had to not plant me.

Hi.

- Hi.

- Is it okay ? - Yes, and you ?

- You come from where ? - Val-de-Marne.

- The girls of the Val-de-Marne, it is beautiful, it. I love it.

What do you do ?

Me, I'm commercial, Manon is

studies of letters...

- No, this evening.

- Ah !

We will have to go

at the beach party. I'll go there too.

- You go with the yeuv ?

- "The yeuv" ?

- Ben, your buddy.

- Ah yes, the yeuv.

No, it is not my poto.

I know ap.

- Your name ?

- Bruno.

- It is pretty.

*Louie Austin : "Glamour Girl"

...

- Forgive me 4 Bora-Bora, Tom Cruise.

...

- Your buddy, he wants to what ?

- It is not my friend.

- In any case, level chicks, it has taken the lead.

- I'm not there for that.

- We are all a little out there for it.

- Not necessarily.

- I will bring you back your glasses with vodka. You prepare 3 Suicide bombers ?

I'm waiting for you

the Blanket Bar. At any time.

...

- You could not of saarc ? With a small pic, there ?

- Sorry, I'm not in the mood.

"Is it because of me ?

- No, no.

This is compared to my wife.

It is as if it was 3 in the bed.

- In fact, it is 4.

- Why ? Me too, I thought in my example

- It gets a little embarrassing.

- In addition, it is not obvious.

It is violent to change, man, skin, smell...

It is like a vegetarian

that, suddenly, slaps a side of beef.

- Is my belly ?

- No, it's cute, your little belly.

If I had not divorced, I wouldn't have fallen on you.

Perhaps I would have been more demanding.

It's the same for you ?

- Not. Me, I find you really not bad.

Ben, thank you. It's nice, compliments.

- You are going away ?

- Yes. This one is better.

Even if we did nothing, I feel a little tired.

Hi, Denis.

To me, this is Bruno.

- T not an excuse, especially.

- The place is free. You should go comfort your friend.

- Hey ! Oh !

You'll not like that.

We can talk about it !

- Go, you jump, you jump,

and we get light in the air.

Come on, I want to see the birds flying in the sky.

And it is high ! It's hot !

*It is high ! It's hot ! Go !

It is beautiful !

*Upbeat music

...

And we jump. - Hey, amigo !

It is cool, the trampo. You déboules ?

- I have to wear a T-shirt and I came in.

...

This is your toothbrush.

A little bit hard, it is medium,

but I brush less hard.

...

- Hello.

I would like to change room. I'm willing to pay.

- Already, this is not a question of pay.

It is because it is high season, holiday season, in addition.

Then, there are the 2 bis.

But it is for 4. - I can see it ?

Ah yes, when same.

- I can see the director ?

- Guys, we have a problem.

By day, we should be at an average cost of 5 E the meal,

we must recycle.

If there was cauliflower in the noon,

in the evening, I want to hear "Velvety".

If there is a tomato at lunch, in the evening, I want to hear "Gazpacho".

And if there's avocado,

I want to hear...

- Court ! - GUACAMOLE.

- Very good.

Another tip : for drinks, to build on the métis.

- It is what they all say.

- Pepito, please.

We mix : 1/3 alcohol, 2/3 water. OK ?

Good. And one last point :

it is necessary to put the package on the animations.

I don't want to see a Momo bored.

A Momo that goes well,

it is a Momo returns.

Remember,

the Momo should arrive as a customer and leave as a...

- FRIEND.

- Saw ? - VU.

- , Mr. director, the Momo of the 114 wants to talk to you.

- What is it that they can make me le.

Damn !

- , Miss, hello. I come to the news of my backpack.

- Of the news of the sack of Mr. "Cissé" ?

- "Cisse." Mr. Cisse.

2x3. 5+4.

- One is in contact

with the airport.

You will transmit in your room.

- Precisely, my room.

- Please wait, sir, "Cissé".

- Yes.

- I need to talk to you.

- Well, this is me too.

I have a problem with the suite you occupy.

You're going to have to release it.

- Where to go ?

- In the 2 bis.

Very nice room, very spacious.

- I am the winner of the contest.

- You have won the trip for two.

- Yes. - But you are not two.

For the rest, like this :

the candlelit dinner, the carriage ride,

the canoe enchanted,

the cave of love. You know, in this club,

the 114 is very coveted. I have requests every day.

Very many babies have been made.

And for the babies, there must be two.

Good.

2 bis.

Oh damn !

- I am two. Here it is. We are two, with my companion.

- I have understood, mr. Morin.

I want to

play the game,

but I do not embrace you, not in front of everyone.

- Nor to anyone. I prefer to say things.

- Hi.

- Why you have watched ?

Have you looked at the ass of the girl. - And then ?

- My guy, it looks not the ass of chicks.

- But I'm not your guy.

Me, I know, but not them.

- Not ! No !

- Hey !

Oh boy, the pink flamingos, what is it, it is a child.

Come here.

Go.

It's going to, kid ? Allez hop !

- You see, the girl, she said like me,

it is very hard to find the right guy.

- You're too difficult,

I swear to god.

How do you know that this is not the right

if you're trying not ?

- So, girls, you can bronze ?

- You see Bernard, for example,

this is not good, without trying.

- The sixth sense.

- No need to go up to 6.

- Here's a not new

that comes from America, Princess.

It is called fast.

Pepito, on the badge.

Small not...

- How it is the farts, him !

But it is serious !

- There is a very fine barracuda

in this pool !

It is not presented : as for me, this is Lulu, a widow and retired.

Especially a widow.

That is to say, free in very free.

Oh, I am drowning !

I am drowning.

Baywatch !

At any time, handsome.

- Ouch !

It is not so bad, eh.

Except that I still have not found my backpack.

- For 3 shirts and 2 T-shirts...

- My mother in the sack, Bruno.

"Your mother ?

- His ashes in an urn.

A jar, if you prefer.

She is dead.

- You trimballes with this jar ?

You're a crazy.

- She wanted me to take you to the sun for Christmas.

I lost my mother two times :

once in November and once in Pointe-à-Pitre.

- What is this thing that you've got around your neck ?

A shark tooth ?

- It ? It is a tooth of a friend

who gets eaten by a shark.

Tooth the bottom.

A guy that I've crossed for a delivery in Kazakhstan,

27 hours of road, the steppe, the pebbles, the bears...

I know that you mates the chicks.

I have to remind you that you have a woman in Metropolis.

- You should go there. It is more hot inside than outside.

- Surely.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Me, it is Jean-Paul. We arrived yesterday with my buddy.

- You got me going on it.

You're a fat pig. No, it is a bubble in jersey.

- If you've farted. I could make a complaint.

- I have not farted.

- But if.

- It's okay, I farted on anyone.

- If. You've seen it. He farted. If you've farted.

- It's okay, be calm, it is a bubble in jersey.

In addition, it is not

my shirt !

- You have farted in the water. It is not serious.

We will say that it's been a jacuzzi.

Jean-Paul, he farted - IN The WATER

Jean-Paul, he farted - IN The WATER

- I have not farted.

Jean-Paul, he farted - IN The WATER

- I have not farted, that's enough.

In the water

- IN The WATER

- It is a bubble shirt !

Jean-Paul, he farted - IN The WATER

Jean-Paul, he farted - IN The WATER

- Next time, I come up with 4 hands. There, I deprives.

- The all inclusive, it is 2 glasses in hand.

Hey, I have kept a sun lounger.

Council of old pro : 1 buffet, 1 transat.

Laughter

Look, the Caribou.

They we spit on their happiness in the mouth.

There, it becomes annoying.

It gets better, your problems, my kitten ?

- They get me tired, and Coco Travel.

I try to join them, they meet not.

- You don't want to lie next to me ?

I brushed teeth with tap water.

I will not make long fire on the beach.

Maybe I'll even go swimming for...

- You look at my breasts ?

- Huh ? Yes, I look at your breasts.

- All the same. Here, put me in the 50's.

I become red.

- I have the calloused hands.

I went out with a blacksmith.

Insist well on the bottom, above the smile of the mona lisa.

- Then, Lulu, one drag ?

- Stop, Pepito.

- That's it. There it is. - Thank you.

- You are known as the white wolf, here.

- Since the time that I just...

I have found it more advantageous to attend the holiday clubs

rather than retirement homes.

800 bullets, it is a win-win.

You should do like me.

- I am not retired.

- It's close, cushy.

It is cheaper and it is more fun.

If you slapped, the burial, they support it.

The class, right ?

But they win on the return ticket.

Jean-Paul !

She read my WhatsApp messages. Both are V in blue.

- You see, it is progressing. One does not loose anything, now.

It has not responded.

- Believe me, it must cogitate serious Paname.

- There is a trick that works every time :

it is the bouquet of flowers.

If I can help...

- Good evening.

And if you need wine,

I will be your sommelier.

- News from your mother ?

- It would be between Puerto Rico and Playa del Carmen.

She was afraid of travel.

- I bet she speaks not a word of Spanish.

- They make us pass on a message.

- Ah, yes.

It looks like

two rockets ready to take off.

- There are 4, I would have said the castle.

Or so...

it is on two cocks.

We have dinner, barbinou ?

- What are you doing here ?

- If you want to keep the 114, am-me.

There is the director who looks at us.

Do not turn around,

Nono.

- Stop, let go of me.

- We don't have the choice.

Spock.

It's either that or 2 bis.

- What is it made of ?

- We kiss.

- Oh, no. It is not possible.

- The 114, Bruno.

- Good evening, gentlemen.

- GOOD EVENING !

Music to the rhythms of the islands

...

Cry of joy

- Go !

- It is awesome, here !

- It must be a funny life, to be a host.

- It is not given to everyone. You give happiness to people.

- And a-level girls, then ?

- I'm shy about it.

And you, you're Italian ?

- Pepito, it is what, for you,

a good season ?

- 47, 48.

- Well then, say so !

- And 49, it would tell you ?

...

- You've person

in your life ? - I failed, several times.

Once, I was in two fingers.

I was in love !

Completely bites it.

Geraldine.

No, Jocelyne.

Finally, a name in "ine".

And then it was not successful.

- You work in what ?

- I am road.

Long journeys.

Paris-Istanbul.

- This is cool. - Not always.

I emplâtré my 38 tonnes against a camel.

In the dark of the night,

I was walking through a village of the desert,

and there, a moped and sends me their high beams.

Wanting to avoid a kid, I crushed a camel.

- There are camels in Turkey ?

- I killed the last one.

I miss their buffet.

I prefer to eat 3 times of the fritters once the lobster.

One goes there ?

- No... I'll stay, me.

It is not really you who should be in front of me.

You know, Bruno,

there is a proverb in Turkish which says :

"If you no longer believe in you"...

Then after, I remember more.

- The other arm, what is it ?

- A kébab tomatoes onions.

Sauce samurai.

Have a good evening.

Do not call him.

Caribbean music soft

...

- You've not seen Jean-Paul ? - Who ?

- What is there ?

- I can't stand to be one of those that you hardly notice,

the so-called "Machine".

- I understand.

You're sad and you cites Bénabar.

- Tired of being the girlfriend, and is registered under :

"Sonia Guadeloupe 2019."

- We talk in my room ? It will be more quiet.

- Excuse me, I need it so.

- Come on, come on.

- It's good to meet people correct.

- Hey, Bruno !

- It is possible to see an instant ?

- Yes.

- You are together for a long time ?

- Not bad, yes.

- And you're sure of him ?

- The bird flies away sometimes, but it always comes back to the cage.

- "The cage."

You can say "you" ? - Yes.

You.

I really hope to put the hand on your backpack, Jean-Paul.

And I promise, I'll bring back a clean hand.

If I may say so.

- Thank you.

Jean-Paul !

That God keep you.

Music sensual

...

- Can I ask you a special trick ?

- I don't know, it depends. You mean what by "special" ?

- You'd do what, you, in my place ?

You remember ?

- What ?

I don't believe it, there.

Thou hast brought back here to tell me about your girl ?

You're a sick person.

- It is exceptional.

The skin, the humour, the delicacy, the long hair...

The intelligence, also.

Everything, what ! It has zero default, you understand ?

You made me not want, I hope ?

- Ah ben non, why I want to be an asshole ?

- The idiot !

Apologize not, especially.

Rhythmic music

...

Then ? 3615 young people ?

Jean-Paul 2.0.

- You're complexion ?

- Uh... no.

- You have opened the business of my girl. - Yes.

- Damn, you've put on her perfume too.

And this is his darling, on your head.

You look like what ?

- Of Julien Doré.

There is a knock at the door.

Enter.

Oh ! - Here is your bundle.

- Thank You, Jocelyn.

- Good day, gentlemen.

- You are now finally in the sun, mom.

Mom, Bruno. Bruno, mom.

- You put me ill at ease.

- Tell him hello. It hear you.

- Hello, madam.

- "Hello, mr. Bruno."

- You want me to do what, then ?

- Jeff Panacloc.

- Ah yes, okay.

This is the great carnival, here.

Music to the rhythms of the islands

...

*We share in Basse-Terre,

where it is possible to admire

the 4 main sites of the Guadeloupe.

We are going to make a meeting that could mark your life

forever. I say no more.

Welcome in Guadeloupe. As we say here : "Counia manmanw."

- It'll seem stupid,

but I put a coconut in bottom of screen instead of Paloma.

- But there is nothing silly in there. There is nothing beast.

These are the small streams that make the great mountains.

A woman who leaves you, it is a chance.

It allows you to reflect.

Somewhere, I envy you.

- So we arrive in the area

the shaman,

his real name is Jean-Désiré Devarieux,

cousin of the emblematic leader of the group Kassav'

and the collective Dis time 2 zouk.

You know what it is ? Sheep.

It is all the same. A flock of sheep.

And your wife must go back into the herd.

And it is you the shepherd, Bruno. It is up to you.

- You're not the other thing as bullshit ?

- What is it you do there ? - Dammit !

- We went to pick a bit of greenery.

It was not presented.

To me, this is Serge. My girlfriend Genevieve.

It was thought to invite you one evening.

Just smoke some pot, put on the strawberry,

we will have the mud in the forelock. Tents-you ?

- It will make you freak out. - We will consider.

- This is cool. - They are partiers.

- Oh !

Oh !

Oh !

About incomprehensible

...

I see...

I see a woman of a certain age

that will change

the course of your life.

- Of a certain age, that is to say ?

- I see a mature woman, a woman of experience.

- A mature woman ? My mother ?

- Not.

Another woman,

with the ideas mature, mature.

- Oh, the ideas are mature, yes.

Yes...

And...

physically ?

- Blackberry,

very mature.

Very, very, very mature.

- Ripe.

I think not.

- You're going to find, your widow.

One that will

calm your torments,

take you by the hand to take you

towards the last third of your life.

- I do not know what you are smoking, but apparently,

it is good for the hair.

- How's it going, Princess ?

It is the evening look-alikes.

It's going to be crazy.

We call all together the more crazy among us :

mr. Pepito.

Go together : Pepito !

- PEPITO !

- It's going to be the Princess ?

- You are disguised as what ?

*Ottawan : "hands Up"

...

- Thou hast not answered it, Donald.

You attack to what time the North Korea ?

- I will not stay, Jean-Paul. I can't do it.

It is not a vacation for me.

- Stop your crap. Thou hast called, is that it ?

We had said dumb full.

- It's okay, she has not responded.

- You're really tired.

- You said what ? - That you're tired.

And you're not easy to live with.

Thy wife, she hath planted for something,

then seek.

Look, I swear, you're going to find.

- Ta gueule !

- What is it, my mouth ?

- Stop with your advice ! There is tired.

Look at you, you already.

Stop it with the young. You're a yeuv, dude.

Everyone here

you called The Yeuv.

I'm going to explain you one simple trick :

I need air

to make the point to find the woman I love.

From now on,

the 114, this is my room. You get the hell out, OK ?

You get the hell out.

- OK.

I don't care, me.

I sleep where I want in the cosmos, me.

I sleep at the Stade France, if I want to.

Rock'n'roll !

*Oriental music

*-They are sexy, they come from Besançon,

they love Beyoncé : the Besoncé !

- OK... OK !

When I say "Prin", you say "the Cess". Prin...

- CESS !

- Hey, Johnny !

This is me.

This is Elizabeth, "The Queen".

You not come and dance with us ?

I'm sure you're a very good dancer.

You have the hands of a dancer.

- No, thank you, Lulu. I do not have my tutu.

- You are beautiful, my Jean-Paul.

You find me how ?

- How do I find you ?

In te seeking.

- And there, you look for me ?

- You find me old ?

- You're not a partridge of the year, but you're not out of breath.

- Seen it like this...

- Embraces "The Queen", my little partridge.

A vacation without a kiss at the edge of the water,

it is not a holiday.

Close my eyes and give me at least 10 years younger.

So, how am I with at least 10 years younger ?

- I have removed 20.

- Bastard !

- Mature, very mature.

Very, very, very mature.

You know, he was right, the shaman.

- What is there ? You've got a fiery eyes.

It is a genius.

- Shut up and light me the fire, Johnny.

I am beat-up.

Good.

I'm going to go there. I like to sleep well

in a good bed, me. - Already ?

You don't want to take advantage of the moon ?

- No, I'm tired.

Tired...

but happy.

- Lulu !

Not going to tell others that they had slept together.

I want to keep our happiness for the two of us.

- It will stay between us.

What happens to the Princess

rest at the Princess.

- Is it okay ? - It will.

- Nothing is broken ?

"Don't worry, it's titanium.

- Hold.

Give it to Mr. Cisse.

I think it will not be going to the house this evening.

- Donald !

I just sleep

with your buddy.

It pays not mine, but then I'm delighted.

Motus.

- What can I do for you ?

I want to retrieve a room,

please.

- But what is happening ?

- I would like a room to spend a vacation elsewhere.

- Oh dear ! But I see that we argued for.

I'll be honest :

I have a hacienda

2 km from here

with horses, a water trough

and a very nice sunset.

Be aware that the door is wide open.

Me too, I'll be honest with you :

the haciendas, the bulls and castanets, all that,

it is not my thing. I'm road.

- It does not prevent.

- By contrast, my friend, it is very open.

If I can refer you...

He loves the horses.

And then, for me, it would allow me to recover the 114.

You understand ?

- Hello. - Hello.

- I do not bother you, rider ?

- Mr. Laurent !

- What is it he wants ?

- Lulu slipped on a kiwi, in the restaurant of the club.

- I am here for what ?

- Lulu wished that you're there and you're holding the hand

for his last moments.

The parish priest should not delay.

- I've done it

a shot of insulin. - Thank you, doctor.

- I am not doctor, I am in the paddle boats.

- It is the same.

Good.

Gentlemen, good day.

I have a delivery of bananas to 13 h.

The banana, in a pinch.

The banana, it gives the banana.

- Say,

going to have it to stop your engueulades.

It's 30 degrees outside, 29 in water.

It's not worth the trouble to turn the thermostat up.

And then the guys,

you know not enough to make you the mouth.

Let the time you damage a little.

Tighten your hand,

kiss you, do what you want.

Me, I have zumba in a quarter of an hour.

Billy Preston : "Nothing From Nothing"

...

Mixes it.

...

- You really want to go there ?

- I'm a yeuv, to me, is that it ?

He shouts.

...

Crash metal

- Here, hold.

It is necessary to pay attention.

At your age, it is necessary to lift the foot,

mr. "Cusse".

And not to drink water from the faucet.

- What happened ?

- It seems that I would vomit on it, among others.

They have said what ?

- I was going to die.

A day, but they don't know when.

- You are going to finish your vacation ? - Possible.

I need to find magnets for Chantal, my boss.

- Patron. - If you want to.

By here.

- Yo, Marigno !

- It doesn't seem to be an area with magnets.

- It is hot, especially. It is not necessary to hang out with.

It is the Drug traffickers, here. They are stoned on crack.

- Stop with your pictures in the metropolitan area. It is young people.

Enjoys life. We see that you've never been young.

Hip-hop music

...

- They follow us, damn ! - Never show that you fear.

...

Darkens, Bruno ! This is crazy, these guys !

Admiral T : "Only God can judge me now"

...

Holidaymakers.

Holidaymakers.

- What ? - He wants us to empty our pockets.

- We will not be crêper the bun. Tell him to stow his knife.

- Would like. It is up to me.

He wants your code.

- It is an Electron card... -, Magne-toi.

- It is an Electron card.

It is...

It is special, the Electron card. It is not...

I can't remove more than the ceiling. How it is said ?

- We don't care. Your code, for heaven's sake !

- Zero,

zero,

zero...

zero.

- I have not much on my account.

- You have how many ?

- 37 euros.

What the hell are you doing here ?

I went to buy substances. They'd have fallen over.

A motorcycle arrives.

- I told you so.

When a banker not love you, he gives you this card.

- Watch your teeth.

- Wait, I beg you, hold.

- Oh, no ! No, let Bruno. Will not be it.

Would like.

*Bananarama : "Venus"

...

- You speak creole, you ?

- I have been working with the Bichat hospital. I've had friends from the antilles.

- You work at hospital ?

- I am working with the hospital.

I created a box that supplies the canteens.

- Stew, is that you ? , Among others.

- And the mashed potatoes ?

- Yes, mashed potatoes.

- And sachets of mustard that open evil, it is you ?

And the small sachets of sugar ? - Yes, the bags of sugar.

- You do not have to take the plunge ? - What not ?

- Surgery, surgery, childbirth,

the stuff of hosto.

To upgrade, what.

- Not.

I am not a doctor. Thus I operate not. It is simple.

- What lack of ambition !

- Leave the bottle there. Thank you.

You see, Lulu,

I expect each batch of Momos with hope and each time...

And the clock is running.

- Why do you call them Momos ?

- I had a friend, Maurice.

It made me go into the All-In', Corfu.

So, in tribute to Maurice

and by tenderness for them, I call them Momos.

The Momos !

Say so...

It would be not already crossed, both of you ?

In another club ?

No !

- Can-be.

- And we would have...

- Surely.

- Then there...

I don't know what to say. Ben, you say thank you, Lulu.

Attention to my hair.

Screams of pleasure

- Vas-y, catch-me christ.

- Oh, the Caribou !

It is not finished, the Cirque du Soleil ? There is tired, there !

...

- There is a litter of rabbits.

Here we go. We hopped.

This is perfect. Well played, girls.

- Place.

Bruno.

You had no way to call it.

- I was listening to just his voice. I am in hidden.

I can't stop myself.

- That's it.

Like that, it is settled once and for all.

- What is this you have done ?

I have all my numbers in there.

- On the phone, it has the airplane mode, not the mode boat.

He has no shirt.

It is prohibited.

- It is death. I can call anyone !

- It will. Quiet, you, Bruno.

I beseech thee, by Shiva, be quiet, you.

You put in the rice, it sucks up moisture.

The thai rice... - Ta gueule !

I'll slaughter him!"

I've said nothing.

I just talked to rice.

- Your taxi arrives in 5 minutes.

- You scared me.

- Gives off or I'll tape !

- OK. I apologize.

You'll have to tell Paloma to call me on my phone

until yours dry.

I bar because I can no longer see your face !

- Bruno !

Are you talking about under the blow of anger.

Rest. It's going to cost you the round.

- I have nothing more to fuck you and this club.

- OK. As you want to.

But I have to say a thing.

I am your father.

I know, this is huge.

- But you're what age ?

- No, you first.

- No, you.

- You've got what age ? - You first.

- Dis. Don't be ashamed.

- You can't be my father.

- I have got to 14 years old.

- I 38.

"Well, that's it. I...

47-year-old.

- 52.

- 51.

- 52.

- OK, I will.

- You're really an asshole of mytho.

- You're right, I'm not your father. I am the father of a person.

The one who is willing to be your father, he is not born.

You think you're in love ?

This is because it is not there that you're in love.

A tip : try to love people when they are there.

Otherwise, you'll end up alone, like an old con.

It runs the streets, the only people, this is not a proverb in Turkish.

I have never set foot in Turkey, me.

I'm a delivery driver for the Vegetables of the Sun, in Levallois-Perret.

You think know me, but no.

To know the people, we must stop 2 s.

Go,

good flight, guys.

Jean-Paul !

You put what as shirt tomorrow for the new year ?

- All inclusive, then the sky is blue, the grass is green.

Good. Go, I leave you. Today, it is beach,

and maybe a little beach.

- I can talk to you ?

I warn you,

it is not.

- It is for Bruno. Finally, for his wife.

- Hi, baby. This is me.

You gotta say : "Where is it ? With who ?" And I understand that.

I have not given new.

You see, me away from you, it has brought me closer.

I want thee not of what you've done. I don't care. It is filling up.

The two of us,

it is The Voice. We returned without knowing.

It would be a shame that we are left all alone,

each of our side.

I wanted to tell you something...

I love you.

Rhythmic music

...

- You have had ?

- Voicemail. I told him that she could reach me on it.

...

- She had never seen the sea.

- What is it is good ! - Oh yeah !

Oh yeah !

Oh yeah !

- With that, we will finish the week in beauty.

The guy guaranteed me same-Bob Marley-one has ever dared to touch it.

- This is reggae !

- Cosmic ! With that, we will live in heaven.

Stronger than NASA.

- Vas-y.

Whoa !

- Go for it, Serge.

Laughter

...

- Damn, they smoked, mom !

...

Caribbean music

...

- I was thinking...

You know what the hell are you ?

You're an angel of love.

...

- It will call you, your Paloma. I can feel it.

...

Damn !

Mom !

No.

Leaves.

It may be more like it.

She will be more happy here.

Hi, ms. Caribbean.

...

- What are you doing ?

It was she who had my number.

...

- And Paloma.

He sings "For Once In My Life" by Stevie Wonder.

...

- So, not too handsome ?

- "Mabrouk", my brother.

You lack more than the gel.

And that, I.

- What is it ?

- Of condoms.

- It was.

- You'd never left

and if you hadn't gone, she would never come back.

- It is not returned.

- Not yet.

If you'd stayed, she would not be back home with you.

This would become home. All alone with your crackers.

You would have called your buddy to tell you murger ?

"I'm sad." OK, we get it.

There, you got lucky,

I'm not your best friend.

The most important thing is not to find it,

it was to find you you.

- I thought you were going to hit me. - Yeah !

- Has. You're really...

- Beep.

You was going to say fucker.

- I didn't like that, the angel of love.

You see how ?

- Less hairy.

- My friends, the evening "White" is in full swing.

- OH !

- Seven, six,

five, four, three,

two, one,

happy new year, Princess !

Cheers

...

- The whole team wishes you a wonderful year.

Long live the rum, vive la vie and vive la Guadeloupe !

...

I have something important to tell you.

This new year's eve is special,

because tonight we leave someone we love at the Princess,

a great man.

I ask you to make noise

for mr. Pepito.

...

He leaves us for another club, the rolls royce of the group,

the Banana Princess of the Canary islands.

- OH !

Pepito, we'll see. The world is a big place.

We love you, Pepito.

- Thank you, mr. Laurent.

- Stay with us !

Me too, I love you.

It's like my father.

- PEPITO ! PEPITO ! PEPITO ! PEPITO !

- And it is off immediately !

Hakuna... - MATATA !

- Hakuna... - MATATA !

- Good year. - Happy new year to you, Caribou.

- And then the health also.

- Of the Caribou.

A souvenir of Quebec.

- Geneviève is where ?

I went back to the room, his affairs were no longer there.

She had to return

in her husband's house.

We are not here to bawl.

And then the worst...

I'm going to join my wife.

- A good end to the holiday, Serge.

Soft music

...

- In fact, a good year, buddy.

- Happy new year to you too.

...

- It is good, your mother.

- You have not known, to the best of his form.

...

Vibrator

...

- Damn, he is walking !

- With the basmati, you could win 12 hours.

...

There, you can respond.

...

- And in French ! - YES, YES, YES !

- And in Italian !

- And in English !

- And in chinese !

- JACKIE CHAN !

- We care about the brothel !

*Gala : "Freed From Desire"

Make noise. I want to hear from you up to Beauvais.

My hometown, this is where I made my 1st weapon.

I met Valerie, my sweet.

But that is not the debate.

We are here to celebrate the new year.

Yes, Yes !

- Hakuna... - MATATA !

- Hakuna... - MATATA !

- Hanouna... - BIBI !

...

- Oh, my Lulu.

It's good for you

to see you.

- Where you going now ?

- There ? In Croatia, 395 balls, all inclusive, 21 degrees.

It is not summer, but...

It is pretty, this gift ?

- Who is it for ?

- For me. Who do you want me to offer ?

Soft music

...

- Is it okay ? I just had Paloma.

There are 2 cm of snow in Paris.

They are in a state of alert. Rien ne va plus.

The trains are on time !

...

- Then,

you regret, your vacation ?

...

You know, Bruno,

there is a Bulgarian proverb that says :

Forgiveness.

"To taste your addiction, savor already your independence."

- You've been in Bulgaria, you ?

You piss me off, there.

I'll see if there are magnets. Do you want something ?

- No, this is good.

Jean-Paul !

You'll be grand-father.

- Pardon ?

- I'm gonna make him a baby, at Paloma.

...

Just. I booked a small hotel on the normandy coast.

- What is happening with you ?

...

- I love you.

- Well, here it is.

...

- One goes there ?

- It sounds like you're happy with your small holiday.

- Shit ! - What is there ?

- My car keys... - Your keys ?

I had at that moment !

- Ah, it's not true. This is not true !

- How is it, thou just not ? I'm at the airport.

It's been months that it is anticipated this trip.

You can't plant me, now.

If you want me to plants, it is finished.

No, I... I'm joking, this is not done...

Hangs up not. If you...

- It hurts.

It will come back.

They always come back.

- It ? - What is the name of your girlfriend ?

- Benoît.

I also know of this variant.

To me, it is Angelo.

Angelo Merkel.

- Enchanted.

- You see the sign down there ? The flight to Rio.

If in 10 seconds...

Rhythmic music

...

Subtitling : ECLAIR

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