Original subtitles

- HEY, I'M GONNA GO DROP THIS LETTER OFF IN THE MAILBOX

DOWN THE STREET-- BE BACK IN A FEW.

- OKAY, DO YOU WANT ME TO GO WITH YOU?

- UH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

- DO YOU WANT ME TO?

- ONLY IF YOU WANT TO.

- I WANT TO. - OKAY.

- OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAVE TO PICK UP

MY DRY CLEANING ANYWAY. - ALL RIGHT.

- OH, DO YOU WANT TO STOP AT THE FARMER'S MARKET AFTER

AND GET SOME LUNCH?

- OKAY, SOUNDS GOOD. YOU READY?

- YEAH, YEAH, I JUST HAVE TO TAKE A SHOWER

AND PUT MY MAKEUP ON.

- SO CLOSE.

- WHITNEY IS TAPED

IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

- HI.

- HEY. - HI, LILY.

- WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

- YOU KNOW, I THINK I'LL JUST START OFF WITH AN ICE WATER, RJ.

I'M STILL REHYDRATING FROM LAST NIGHT.

- COMING UP.

- YEAH, MARK LET US STICK AROUND AFTER THE BAR CLOSED,

AND THINGS GOT A LITTLE CRAZY.

- NO, LIL, I KNOW. I WAS HERE.

- MAN, THEN I WOKE UP THIS MORNING.

MY NECK WAS ALL TWEAKED.

FELT LIKE SOMEONE SAT ON MY HEAD.

- THAT'S BECAUSE SOMEONE SAT ON YOUR HEAD.

- REALLY?

- SORRY. - WHAT?

- GUYS, WHAT HAPPENED HERE LAST NIGHT

CANNOT HAPPEN HERE TOMORROW.

SO, IF YOU GUYS WANT TO SIT ON EACH OTHER'S HEADS,

TAKE IT TO MULLSY'S DOWN THE STREET.

- WHY?

- I'M WATCHING MY NIECE, MAGGIE, THIS WEEKEND,

SO I'M BRINGING HER HERE.

- YOU'RE GONNA BRING HER TO THE BAR?

OH, IS SHE ONE OF THOSE NIECES THAT'S OLDER THAN YOU?

- NO, SHE'S--SHE'S EIGHT.

BUT I DO HAVE AN UNCLE THAT'S SEVEN.

HE MAKES ME CALL HIM "UNCLE."

SOMETIMES I DON'T.

- WELL, IF YOU NEED SOME HELP, WE'LL BE HERE TOMORROW,

RIGHT, ROXANNE?

- WHAT?

ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT KIDS?

[chuckles] PASS.

- HEY, WHERE YOU WATCHING THE BULLS GAME TONIGHT?

- OH, I'M NOT WATCHING IT.

I HAVE TO DRIVE OUT TO WINNETKA FOR A TECH SEMINAR.

- YOU DO?

- YEAH, I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT THIS MORNING--YOU SAID "FANTASTIC."

- I SAID "FANTASTIC"?

OKAY, THEN YOU SHOULD'VE KNOWN I WASN'T LISTENING.

OKAY, WELL, THAT MEANS I'M FREE TONIGHT.

DO YOU GUYS WANT TO DO SOMETHING?

- YEAH. - YEAH, IT'LL BE FUN.

WE NEVER GET TO HANG OUT JUST THE THREE OF US.

- I HUNG OUT WITH YOU LAST NIGHT.

- OH. OH, OKAY. THAT'S RIGHT.

WAIT, DID WE KISS?

- A LITTLE.

- MAYBE I SHOULD JUST TAKE MAGGIE TO THE ZOO.

- WHO'S MAGGIE?

- HI. CAN I GET A WHIPPED CREAM FOR HERE?

- OOH, YEAH, MAKE THAT TWO. WAIT, WHIT. DO YOU WANT ONE?

- NO, YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY.

COULD I JUST GET A SHOT OF HAZELNUT SYRUP?

- OH--OH, MY GOD.

UM, OKAY, LET'S JUST GO.

- WHAT? WHAT IS IT--

AN OLD MAN THAT LOOKS LIKE A BABY?

A BABY THAT LOOKS LIKE AN OLD MAN?

- HEY. - WHERE?

- WHAT IS ALEX DOING HERE?

ISN'T HE SUPPOSED TO BE IN WINNETKA?

- OH, MY GOD.

WHA--HE TOTALLY LIED TO ME.

- OKAY, HOLD ON.

YOU KNOW, FIRST THINGS FIRST.

HERE, CALL THIS GUY.

HE'S MY LAWYER.

HE MOSTLY HANDLES ACCIDENTES.

- OKAY.

OKAY, ALEX IS OBVIOUSLY NOT CHEATING ON ME.

- WHY IS THAT OBVIOUS?

- LOOK AT HIM.

- DEFINITELY NOT CHEATING. - NOT--SEE?

- NO, THAT'S NOT CUTE. - HE'S NOT.

- SO THEN WHY IS HE HERE?

- OKAY, I DON'T KNOW,

BUT I AM SURE THERE IS

A PERFECTLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR THIS.

I TRUST HIM.

I'M JUST GONNA CALL HIM TO MAKE SURE

HE STICKS TO HIS STORY.

- OKAY.

[cell phone rings]

- [laughing]

HI.

I WAS JUST GETTING READY TO CALL YOU.

HEY.

WHY DIDN'T YOU WAIT FOR ME? - BECAUSE I STORMED OUT.

WHEN SOMEONE STORMS OUT, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW THEM.

IS THAT A TO-GO CUP?

- IT'S A $6 LATTE.

I GOT YOU THE NEW BUBLE.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK, BEFORE YOU START,

I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

- WHAT?

- I DIDN'T GO TO THE TECH SEMINAR.

- I KNOW THAT.

WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?

I KNEW THERE WAS NO SUCH THING AS TECH SEMINARS.

- NO, THAT'S A REAL THING.

- OKAY, THEN WHAT IS GOING ON? ARE YOU IN SOME KIND OF TROUBLE?

'CAUSE IF YOU'RE NOT, YOU ARE. - NO.

LOOK, IT'S JUST-- I, UH...

I WANTED SOME ALONE TIME.

- [gasps]

- NO, LOOK, IT'S JUST BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN SPENDING

SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER LATELY.

I MEAN, LOOK, NOW THAT MY WORK IS SLOWING DOWN,

I'M HERE ALL THE TIME,

AND YOU'RE HERE ALL THE TIME,

AND IT'S JUST-- WE'RE TOGETHER, LIKE, 24-7.

- OKAY, SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS YOU'RE SICK OF ME.

YOU'RE PULLING AWAY.

- NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M SAYING AT ALL.

- YOU WANT TO BREAK UP?

- N-NO. LOOK, NONE OF THAT.

LOOK, WHITNEY, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I LIED TO YOU.

I KNEW THAT IF I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH,

YOU WOULD TOTALLY SPIN OUT OF CONTROL

AND JUST IMAGINE ALL THESE WORST-CASE SCENARIOS

AND JUST ANALYZE EVERYTHING THAT I SAID.

THIS IS TRULY THE LAST THING I WANTED TO DO.

- OKAY, WELL, TRUST ME.

THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS TALK TO YOU ANYMORE.

I'M STORMING OFF.

FOLLOW ME!

- [scoffs, growls]

- OKAY, SO YOU BOOKED A TWO-HOUR SESSION.

SO WE'RE GOING TO DIG IN

AND ANALYZE THE SITUATION FROM EVERY POSSIBLE ANGLE.

WE'RE GOING TO GO DEEP.

WE'RE GOING TO HAMMER IT. WE'RE GOING TO DRILL AWAY.

- UH, WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR ARE YOU?

- SO, ALEX, YOU LIED TO WHITNEY

BECAUSE YOU WANTED SOME ALONE TIME.

- YEAH. - YEAH, SEEMS RATHER EXTREME.

I MEAN, IF YOU WANT ALONE TIME,

JUST TAKE YOUR LAPTOP INTO THE BATHROOM.

- OH, NO, NOT THAT KIND OF ALONE TIME.

I MEAN, I LITERALLY WANTED SOME TIME AWAY FROM HER.

- OH, OH, YEAH, I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU NEED TIME AWAY FROM...

HER, BUT, I MEAN...

ALONE TIME IS VERY HEALTHY FOR COUPLES.

IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO HAVE SOME INDEPENDENCE

IN THE RELATIONSHIP.

- THE PROBLEM IS THAT IT'S REALLY HARD TO TALK

ABOUT THESE KINDS OF THINGS WITH WHITNEY

BECAUSE SHE'S ALWAYS READING INTO EVERYTHING.

- OH, WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

- NOW, WHITNEY, DON'T INTERRUPT HIM.

ALEX, YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW

THAT YOU HAVE TO BE VERY GENTLE WITH WHITNEY.

I MEAN, SHE'S...

[whispering] HANGING BY A THREAD.

- WHO--WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?

- I'M ON LOVE'S SIDE.

THAT'S THE TITLE OF MY LATEST BOOK.

YOU SHOULD BUY IT.

YOU'RE IN CHAPTERS, UH, FOUR AND SIX.

- AND THEN YOU GLUE THIS LIKE THIS.

AND THEN YOU HAVE YOUR OWN TIARA.

YOU WANT TO TRY? - NO, THANK YOU.

- DO YOU WANT TO AT LEAST LOOK AT IT?

- IT'S OKAY.

- HERE YOU GO, MAGPIE.

NOW, HOW ARE YOU AND MISS LILY GETTING ALONG?

- SHE'S ALL RIGHT.

- RJ, QUICK WORD. [clears throat]

[upbeat pop music playing]

WHAT'S WITH YOUR NIECE, MAN?

I BROUGHT ALL THESE THINGS TO DO TO KEEP HER BUSY,

AND SHE'S NOT INTERESTED AT ALL.

- THAT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU TO DO, LILY,

BUT MAGGIE'S KIND OF A LONE WOLF.

I MEAN, SHE'S FINE WITH HER MAGAZINE.

- OKAY, I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND.

I WAS...

THE BABYSITTER IN HIGH SCHOOL.

YOU USED TO HAVE TO BOOK ME

MONTHS IN ADVANCE.

I MEAN, NEW YEAR'S EVE--

FORGET ABOUT IT.

VALENTINE'S DAY-- GOOD LUCK, MY FRIEND.

THIS...

IS WHERE I SHINE.

- SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS YOU NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND.

- OH, MAN.

I HAD A BITCH OF A DAY.

- UH, ROXANNE?

THIS IS MY NIECE, MAGGIE.

- OH. THAT'S TODAY?

[sighs]

LOOKS CLEAN.

GOOD WORK, KID.

- THANKS!

*

- SHE SMILED AT ROXANNE.

I BEEN TRYING TO GET HER TO SMILE FOR AN HOUR,

AND OLD BOURBON HEAD WALKS IN, AND SHE'S IN HYSTERICS.

I EVEN SHOWED HER TATER TOT,

AND SHE LOOKED AT ME LIKE I HAD LOST MY MIND.

[wacky voice] HI, MAGGIE!

WANT TO COME UNDER THE TABLE, SEE MY MAGICAL VILLAGE?

- YEAH, UM...

LOOK, I KNOW THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ADORABLE AND EVERYTHING,

UH, BUT MAGGIE'S NOT REALLY INTO, LIKE,

LIKE, TIARAS AND...

WEIRD-ASS PUPPETS.

AND DON'T TELL A KID TO COME UNDER THE TABLE

TO SEE A MAGICAL VILLAGE.

- YOU TWO ARE HAVING PROBLEMS COMMUNICATING.

AND, UM, WHITNEY, YOU CLEARLY HAVE A SINUS INFECTION.

NOW, IN ORDER THAT YOU CAN BE LISTENING

TO EACH OTHER BETTER,

I WANT TO TRY AN EXERCISE WHICH WE CALL MIRRORING.

YOU SIMPLY PARAPHRASE WHAT YOUR PARTNER SAYS.

- SO I JUST SAY SOMETHING,

AND THEN SHE REPEATS IT BACK TO ME?

- YES, WELL, WHY DON'T YOU START, WHITNEY?

'CAUSE YOU'LL BE TALKING ANYWAY.

UM...

TELL ALEX SOMETHING ABOUT JUST HOW YOU FEEL.

- UM, OKAY.

WHEN YOU TELL ME THAT YOU NEED SPACE,

I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE PLANNING MY MURDER.

- OKAY, ALEX, CAN YOU, UM--

CAN YOU JUST MIRROR THAT BACK TO WHITNEY?

YOU CAN USE DIFFERENT WORDS, BUT, UH, WITHOUT ANY SPIN, HMM?

- UH... [scoffs]

WHEN, UH--WHEN I DON'T INCLUDE YOU IN THINGS,

YOU FEEL LIKE I WANT TO KILL YOU.

- MM-HMM.

- YES!

THAT'S GREAT, ALEX. WELL DONE!

I MEAN--SORRY. I JUST...

LOVE A GOOD MIRRORING.

IT GETS ME GOING, YOU KNOW? [chuckles]

OKAY, SO, UM...

CAN YOU NOW SAY SOMETHING THAT WHITNEY CAN MIRROR

BACK--BACK TO YOU?

AND...GO.

- [clears throat]

OKAY, I DON'T-- I DON'T LIKE IT

WHEN YOU MAKE ME CARRY YOUR PURSE.

- SO YOU THINK I'M GONNA BE A BAD MOTHER.

- AH, SO CLOSE.

- HOW DID YOU JUMP TO THAT?

- OKAY, LOOK, I DON'T EVEN SEE THE POINT

OF PLAYING THIS GAME, WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW

IF HE'S EVEN TELLING THE TRUTH OR NOT.

- BREAKTHROUGH.

THAT IS WHAT THAT IS.

THAT IS A BREAK OF THE THROUGH VARIETY.

I MEAN, HOWEVER MUCH I LOVE A GOOD MIRRORING,

A-A-A BREAKTHROUGH IS EVEN BETTER,

AND YOU HAVE JUST HAD ONE.

- I THINK YOU MEAN BREAKDOWN

OF THE NERVOUS VARIETY.

- NO, BREAKTHROUGH.

LYING-- THAT'S AT THE CORE OF THIS.

YOU SEE, WHITNEY HAS BEEN LIED TO A LOT IN THE PAST.

AND I CAN TELL THAT BY HER PERSONALITY

AND BY HER HONEY-BADGER-LIKE DEMEANOR.

- HONEY BADGER, YES.

THAT'S WHAT-- IT'S NOT A SQUIRREL.

THAT WAS DRIVING ME CRAZY.

- NOW, THIS IS WHY WHITNEY HAS A PROBLEM

HEARING PEOPLE,

BECAUSE WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP,

THERE WAS NO POINT IN LISTENING,

BECAUSE EVERYTHING YOU WERE TOLD WERE LIES.

WHEN ALEX BROKE YOUR TRUST,

WHAT HAPPENED WAS THAT THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION

WERE IMMEDIATELY SEVERED.

MY GOD, I'M GOOD.

I'M GLAD I'M RECORDING THIS SESSION, YOU KNOW?

- YOU KNOW, I'M ACTUALLY GLAD YOU MADE ME GO

TO COUPLES THERAPY.

DR. GRANT REALLY HAS HIS STUFF TOGETHER.

- YEAH.

- AND YOU HAD A BREAK OF THE THROUGH VARIETY.

I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.

- THANKS. - [chuckles]

I DID GOOD TOO, HUH?

- IN THERAPY?

- YEAH, WELL, I MEAN, A LITTLE BETTER THAN GOOD.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I--

I WON.

- OKAY. - NO, I MEAN, LIKE,

IF THERAPY WAS A SPORT AND THERE WERE PEOPLE KEEPING SCORE,

THEN I WOULD'VE TAKEN THE GOLD.

I WOULD BE AN AMERICAN TREASURE.

SO, COME ON, YOU WANT TO GO DOWN TO LOW BAR?

- OH, UM, NO, I DON'T REALLY FEEL LIKE IT.

- OH. WELL, OKAY. WELL, I MEAN, I COULD STAY HERE.

WE COULD WATCH A MOVIE IF YOU WANT OR--

- YOU CAN GO AHEAD. I'M KIND OF TIRED ANYWAY.

- SO WHAT I'M HEARING IS, UM...

YOU WANT ME TO GO TO THE BAR, AND YOU'RE TIRED BUT FINE.

I'M SO GOOD AT MIRRORING. I CAN'T TURN IT OFF, REALLY.

MM. AND HE STICKS THE LANDING.

[to The Star-Spangled Banner] * YA DA DA, DA DA DA

* YA DA DA, DA DA

* YA-A-A-A

[rock music playing]

- HEY, UNCLE RJ.

ANOTHER DRINK FOR MY FRIEND.

- THANKS, KID.

- HERE YOU GO, MAGGIE.

- THANKS, MR. MURPHY, BUT I'M GLUTEN-FREE.

- OH, HEY.

KIDS' SPORTS ILLUSTRATED, HUH?

BIT OF A SPORTS NUT MYSELF.

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE TEAM?

- THE '72 DOLPHINS WERE THE BEST TEAM EVER.

- MAYBE YOU NEED TO GET BACK ON THE GLUTEN.

YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY FORGETTING ABOUT THE '85 CHICAGO BEARS.

- THEY'RE FOURTH ON MY LIST.

- FOURTH?

- RIGHT BEHIND THE MONTANA NINERS

AND THE BRADSHAW STEELERS.

- OH.

YOU'RE FOURTH.

- MARK, SHE'S EIGHT.

- YEAH, WELL,

SHE'S ACTING LIKE SHE'S SIX.

- I NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM.

- ALL RIGHT, WELL, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.

- OH, HEY, I'LL GO WITH YOU IF YOU WANT.

- * CREEPY

- YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M DONE. YOU CAN HAVE HER.

- LILY, SHE'S NOT REALLY YOURS TO GIVE AWAY.

- AND OF ALL OF US, WHY WOULD SHE LIKE YOU THE BEST?

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

- I DON'T KNOW-- I MEAN...

MAYBE BECAUSE KIDS ARE NEEDY AND HELPLESS, AND...

APPARENTLY, THAT'S THE KIND OF PERSON I ATTRACT.

- OKAY, OKAY, AND MUSCULAR.

- HEY. - HEY.

- WHERE'S WHITNEY? - HOME.

SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T FEEL LIKE COMING OUT.

- MM. SHE'S STILL MAD BECAUSE YOU LIED.

- UH, NO, ACTUALLY, WE'RE GOOD.

WE WENT TO COUPLES THERAPY. WE WORKED SOME STUFF OUT.

- OH, COUPLES THERAPY, HUH? WHO WON?

- YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM. - WHAT'S UP?

- SO IS SHE COMING BY LATER?

- UH, DIDN'T SOUND LIKE IT.

SHE SAID SHE WAS TIRED, WANTED TO STAY HOME.

- AND YOU LEFT HER THERE?

- WELL, YEAH. I SAID SHE WAS TIRED.

I DIDN'T SAY SHE WAS ON FIRE.

- ALEX, WHEN A WOMAN SAYS SHE'S TIRED,

JUST START APOLOGIZING.

- BUT THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. - BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE MEANT.

- YOU DON'T LISTEN TO A WOMAN.

YOU FEEL A WOMAN.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

- SO YOU'RE SAYING

YOU THINK I NEED TO BUY HER A BRACELET?

- NOW YOU'RE FEELING ME.

- I KNEW TODAY WAS TOO FUN.

- GODSPEED, MY FRIEND. - DEAD MAN WALKING.

- HEY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I GOT HOME FROM THE BAR HOURS AGO.

YOU'RE NOT HERE. YOU DON'T LEAVE A NOTE.

I TEXTED YOU. I CALLED YOU, LIKE, FIVE TIMES.

YOU DIDN'T ANSWER.

- I THOUGHT THAT WAS OPTIONAL THESE DAYS.

- FAIR ENOUGH. I DESERVED THAT.

- NO, I-I WENT FOR A WALK.

I NEEDED SOME ALONE TIME.

[clears throat]

- ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME? - NO. I--

I REALLY DID NEED ALONE TIME.

- DID YOU LIKE IT?

- IT WAS GREAT.

- WELL, GOOD.

HEY, LISTEN, UM,

I'M SORRY I WENT DOWN TO THE BAR.

NOW I KNOW THAT WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE FINE,

YOU WERE NOT FINE,

AND WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE TIRED,

YOU WERE NOT TIRED.

AND, I MEAN, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT FOR WHAT I KNOW.

- THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

- SO ARE WE IN A FIGHT?

BECAUSE IF WE ARE, CAN YOU MAYBE JUST TELL ME WHAT IT'S ABOUT?

- WE'RE NOT IN A FIGHT.

BUT I AM UPSET.

- I'M HEARING THAT YOU'RE UPSET--

- DON'T DO THAT. - OKAY.

- I JUST--I'M MAD THAT YOU FELT LIKE YOU HAD TO LIE TO ME

'CAUSE YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SPIN OUT.

AND I'M EVEN MORE MAD AT MYSELF THAT YOU WERE RIGHT.

- SO THEN DOES THIS MEAN I'M STILL WINNING?

- SURE.

- YES.

HEY, UH, SO ALONE TIME WAS GOOD, HUH?

- IT WAS LIKE-- IT WAS SO GREAT

TO JUST BE, LIKE, HAVING SOME TIME

TO CLEAR ALL THIS NOISE OUT OF MY HEAD.

YOU KNOW, ONCE I DID, I COULD SEE EVERYTHING SO CLEARLY.

- CLEARLY? WHERE DID YOU GO?

- [scoffs]

TARGET.

- HMM, AH...

ALONE TIME CENTRAL.

- ALEX, I MIGHT NEVER CHANGE.

IT'S A LOT OF WORK, AND I'M REALLY LAZY.

- YOU KNOW, I THINK IT MIGHT BE OKAY.

I MEAN, IF YOU DID CHANGE, THEN YOU'D BE, LIKE, PERFECT,

AND THEN I'D HAVE TO BE PERFECT,

AND THAT'D BE REALLY STRESSFUL FOR ME.

I'D GET ULCERS AND HAVE A BAD HEART

AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE,

AND MY HAIR WOULD START FALLING OUT.

- YOU'D BE BALD?

I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE BALD.

- THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT?

WHAT ABOUT MY ULCER AND HEART AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE?

- I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE BALD.

- I KNOW. SO I TOLD MY BOSS,

"LOOK, I DON'T NEED THIS,"

AND THEN HE KISSED MY ASS FOR A WEEK AFTER THAT.

[both laugh]

- THAT IS SO YOU, ROXANNE.

- [laughs]

- SO, MAGGIE...

I WAS JUST ON ESPN. I'M AN INSIDER SUBSCRIBER--

$4.95 A MONTH, WHATEVER.

AND, UH, I JUST HAPPENED TO STUMBLE

ON TEN ARTICLES THAT LIST THE '85 BEARS

AS THE BEST FOOTBALL TEAM EVER-- WEIRD.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, MR. MURPHY?

I'D BE WILLING TO MOVE THE '85 BEARS

AHEAD OF THE BRADSHAW STEELERS.

SO THAT MAKES THEM THIRD.

- THAT'S NICE, MAGGIE.

I THINK WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO AGREE TO DISAGREE.

- SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE CUBS TAKING EPSTEIN?

THAT'LL REALLY TURN IT AROUND, HUH?

- OH, YEAH, THIS IS DEFINITELY THE YEAR

THE CUBBIES WIN THE WORLD SERIES.

[both laugh]

HEY.

- [sighs] - YEAH.

THIS KID'S ALL RIGHT.

FORGET WHAT I SAID ABOUT HER EARLIER.

- WHAT'D YOU SAY?

- I SAID FORGET ABOUT IT.

- [grunts] ALL RIGHT, MAGGIE...

TIME TO GO HOME.

- SO NICE TO MEET YOU, MAGGIE. COME BY ANYTIME.

- THANKS. - LATER, KID.

- CAN I HAVE A HUG?

- ME? UH, YEAH. YEAH.

OKAY.

- I LOVE YOU, ROXANNE. - WHOA.

EASY THERE.

YOU CAN'T JUST THROW THAT WORD AROUND.

YOU SHOULD ONLY SAY IT WHEN YOU--

WHEN YOU REALLY, REALLY MEAN IT.

- OKAY.

- AND ONE MANHATTAN ON THE ROCKS.

- I LOVE YOU.

- WHAT WAS THAT?

- I WAS TALKING TO MY DRINK.

- SURE YOU WERE.

- [mumbling incoherently]

- NO, I GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING,

BUT I'M NOT GONNA PICK UP THE PHONE

IN THE MIDDLE OF A COFFEE SHOP-- IT'S JUST RUDE.

- [mumbling incoherently]

- HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT THE ONLY BAD GUY HERE.

I MEAN, YOU CALLED ME LIKE A SNEAK

WHEN YOU WERE AT THE COFFEE SHOP.

YOU SET ME UP.

- OKAY.

[mumbling incoherently]

- I THINK YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY DANCE MOVES.

- OKAY, THE FIGHT'S OVER IF YOU STOP DOING THAT.

- OKAY.

- [laughs] - [clears throat]

- OKAY.

[sighs]

- [grunting]

MM.

- [laughs]

OKAY, I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

- MM. - FINE.

- YES!

[grunts]

- THIN CRUST, HALF MUSHROOM, HALF MEAT LOVER'S.