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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,372
- LOOKING BACK ON ALL MY YEARS,
2
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:06,535
I REMEMBER A LOT OF GOOD TIMES
3
00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:09,114
WITH A LOT OF GOOD FRIENDS.
4
00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:13,083
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT
THE BEST SUMMER OF MY LIFE.
5
00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:21,356
all: WE COME WITH HOPES,
AND TO THEE BRING,
6
00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:25,359
OUR SECRET WISHES,
OH, SKELETON KING!
7
00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,233
[all screaming]
8
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:30,261
- THE SKELETON KING IS REAL!
9
00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:32,168
- OH-HO-HO!
[squeak sound]
10
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,570
[everyone quieting]
11
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:36,441
- HI!
- IT'S REALLY HIM!
12
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,370
THE SKELETON KING!
13
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:40,336
- IN...THE FLESH. HEE-HEE!
14
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,144
- YOU'RE THE PIRATE SAVAGE
DOOMED TO
15
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:44,406
HAUNT THESE CATACOMB CAVES, YES?
16
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:47,415
- OH, BOYS, THE STORY OF HOW I
CAME TO LIVE IN THIS CAVE
17
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:48,548
IS FAR MORE INTERESTING.
18
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:49,652
- OH, WHAT'S THE REAL STORY?
19
00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,393
- YES, PLEASE!
- YEAH!
20
00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:53,649
- WELL, ONE DAY,
I WAS WALKING BY THIS CAVE
21
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,517
AND I THOUGHT,
"WHAT A NICE CAVE."
22
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:59,326
THEN, ALL MY MUSCLES AND SKIN
FELL OFF MY BONES.
23
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:00,390
AND SO HERE I AM.
24
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:03,158
- THAT'S IT?
25
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:05,627
- BUT, YOU CAN GRANT MY WISH
TO WALK AGAIN, RIGHT?
26
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,236
- YEAH!
- YEAH YEAH YEAH!
27
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:08,538
- I WOULD LOVE TO GRANT
YOUR WISH.
28
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:09,699
- OH, YEAH!
- RAD!
29
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,537
- BUT IT WOULD BE
THE FIRST TIME
30
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,572
I'VE EVER DONE ANYTHING
LIKE THAT.
31
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:14,577
- LAME
- [sigh]
32
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,278
- YOU DON'T GRANT WISHES?
33
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:17,550
I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU DO?
34
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,378
- I COLLECT ANTIQUE CANDY
AND GUM TINS.
35
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:24,324
BUT I HAVE SOMETHING FAR MORE
INTERESTING FOR ALL OF YOU.
36
00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:25,522
- YEAH.
37
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:28,691
- BLACK LICORICE?
38
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,362
- IT'S THE CANDY TREAT
39
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:31,431
THAT CAN'T BE BEAT.
40
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:32,629
AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY
41
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:34,360
I WANNA MOVE MY LITTLE FEET!
42
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:38,365
* I GOT A BLACK MAGIC WOMAN
43
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,569
* OYE COMO VA,
LA LA LA LA LA *
44
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,271
* I LOVE THE MUSIC OF
CARLOS SANTANA *
45
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:45,574
- [groans]
YO, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
46
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,276
- * LA LA LA LA
- HEY, UH, SKELETON KING,
47
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:49,278
IS IT COOL IF I GRAB
SOME OF THESE, UH,
48
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,180
PEPPERMINT TWISTS ON THE--
- [demonic voice] NOBODY TAKES
49
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,352
THE PEPPERMINT TWISTS
FROM MY CAVE!
50
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:54,481
- AAH!
- STOP IT!
51
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,345
- HEY HEY HEY!
- MY NECK...
52
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:57,654
- IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY HURT.
53
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,345
I WAS JUST AFRAID IT WAS GONNA,
54
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:00,617
SO I WAS SCREAMING, SORRY.
55
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,694
- OH...
- LOOK. STUPID.
56
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,564
LET'S GO.
57
00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:07,333
- OUR MOMS AND BOSSES
ARE GONNA BE PISSED.
58
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:09,461
- WHAT A NICE GROUP OF GUYS.
59
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:11,367
I WISH I COULD CALL THEM
MY FRIENDS,
60
00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:13,429
BUT I DON'T THINK
THEY LIKED ME VERY MUCH.
61
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,467
[whimpers]
62
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:17,412
[jazzy piano]
63
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:24,208
*
64
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,322
[all talking]
- THERE WE ARE...
65
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:33,651
ME AND MY BEST FRIENDS IN
THE WHOLE WORLD.
66
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,487
DAVE WAS A REAL CHARACTER.
67
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,463
HE'D SIT THERE AT THAT TABLE,
68
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:40,361
DEALING CARDS AND TELLING
STORIES FOR HOURS.
69
00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:41,734
- SANDY SANDERSON...
- WHOA!
70
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,502
- [retching]
- AND MIKE,
71
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:46,401
WELL, HE WAS ONE HELL OF
A JOKESTER.
72
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:48,874
BOY, COULD HE CRACK US UP.
73
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:53,842
CHRIS, WITH HIS LUCKY BLUE CAP
AND SLY GRIN.
74
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,384
JEFF SURE LOVED
THOSE COMIC BOOKS.
75
00:02:56,410 --> 00:03:01,320
MATT AND MITCH, THOSE TWO WERE
ALWAYS FIGHTING OVER SOMETHING.
76
00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:02,849
AND THEN THERE WAS ME.
77
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:07,623
IN THOSE DAYS, I WAS KNOWN MOST
FOR MY SWEET TOOTH.
78
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:10,355
I SURE LOVED TO SNACK.
79
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,861
BUT NOT QUITE AS MUCH AS TIM.
80
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:16,663
LOOK AT HIM--OLD TIM SITTING
THERE AT THAT CARD TABLE,
81
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,927
EATING A HERSHEY BAR,
PLAYING CARDS WITH
82
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:22,396
DAVE, MIKE, CHRIS, JEFF,
MATT, AND MITCH.
83
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,666
YEP! THAT'S HIM ALL RIGHT.
84
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,275
I WAS SO HAPPY TO HANG OUT
WITH THEM.
85
00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:29,838
I'M SURE YOU CAN TELL
BY THAT LOOK ON MY FACE.
86
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:33,577
[laughs] OH, GOD.
LOOK AT ME.
87
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:38,294
SITTING THERE JUST A FEW FEET
AWAY FROM TIM.
88
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:41,519
YEP, THAT'S ME,
OUTSIDE THE HOUSE,
89
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,315
PEEPING IN ON THE GUYS.
90
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:44,657
NOT SAYING ANYTHING.
91
00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:48,332
CREEPIN' AROUND.
JUST WATCHING QUIETLY.
92
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,462
LIKE I DID ALL SUMMER.
93
00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:54,598
YEP! THE COMPLETE STRANGER THAT
FOLLOWED THOSE GUYS EVERYWHERE.
94
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:58,665
[laughs] IT WAS THE BEST SUMMER
OF MY LIFE.
95
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:00,306
[gentle orchestration]
96
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,976
- AND IT IS OUT OF HERE!
[game on TV]
97
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:06,852
- [everyone cheering]
- HOME RUN! BIRDS!
98
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,580
- HEY, GUYS, SORRY I'M LATE.
99
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,916
- SO MUCH FOR THE BIGGEST
BIRDS FAN I KNOW.
100
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,791
- YEAH, SORRY. I GOT HELD UP
IN THE SECRET GARDEN.
101
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,690
HOW ARE THE WINGS?
102
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:19,627
- SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU HAD
A SECRET GARDEN?
103
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:20,860
[laughter]
104
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:22,834
- YEAH, YOU GOT ME, ALL RIGHT?
105
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:25,503
I--I TOOK OVER ITS CARE
FROM SWEET OLD AGATHA.
106
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:26,803
POOR THING COULDN'T
DO IT ANYMORE.
107
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,604
48 HOT PLEASE.
108
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,607
- PROBABLY PRETTY COOL, HUH?
109
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:36,609
- OH...
- IT IS?
110
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,384
- YES!
111
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:39,682
- OH!
- OH!
112
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,753
- OH, MAN,
YOU GOTTA BRING US!
113
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,422
- OF COURSE, RIGHT AFTER I GET
114
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:45,391
[shouting]
MY 48 HOT WINGS!
115
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:48,359
[bird chirping]
116
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,489
JUST REMEMBER, DON'T WAKE
THE SLUMBERING SPARROW.
117
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:54,725
I PROMISED AGATHA.
- MITCH, OF COURSE NOT, MAN.
118
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:57,902
- OKAY, COME WITH ME.
119
00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,931
[haunting chamber music]
120
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:07,738
*
121
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:16,821
[gentle piano music]
122
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,420
ISN'T IT SPLENDID?
123
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,653
- [hushed] YEAH...
- YEAH.
124
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,388
- CAN WE?
125
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:25,394
[all giggling]
126
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,396
- EXPLORE, FRIENDS.
127
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:30,458
THE GARDEN HAS MANY SECRETS
YOU'LL FIND IN TIME.
128
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:31,898
[laughs]
- WHOA!
129
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,772
- OH-OH-OH-OH-OH.
IT'S OKAY, PASHA.
130
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,472
THEY'RE MY FRIENDS.
131
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:37,644
- TULIP TEA!
132
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,111
- THE SMALL ONES ARE SWEETEST,
TIM.
133
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:46,407
- THIS ROSE, IT SMELLS LIKE...
CINNAMON?
134
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:49,517
- TRY ANOTHER.
135
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,690
- PEACHES.
- GOOD NOSE, MIKE.
136
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:54,919
FLOWERS
WITH MY FAVORITE SMELLS.
137
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,785
- [laugh]
- GIVE IT A TRY, JEFF...
138
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:58,564
IF YOU WANT TO SOAR!
139
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,092
- WHOA! AH!
140
00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:02,457
- THIS STRAWBERRY.
IT LOOKS DELICIOUS.
141
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,426
- AH, WAIT TILL YOU OPEN IT,
DAVID.
142
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,667
[tinkling sound]
143
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,802
- AW!
[laughs]
144
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:14,844
[crickets chirping in chorus]
145
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,605
- GUYS, LISTEN.
146
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,584
- DO YOU HEAR THEIR SONG?
147
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:21,922
- THE CRICKETS.
148
00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:25,489
- AH! I'M SOARING!
149
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:26,819
- HAVE FUN, FRIENDS.
150
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:29,724
I'M JUST GOING TO NAP IN
THE NESTLING WEEDS.
151
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,887
LET'S GO, PASHA.
152
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:35,995
[gentle piano continues]
153
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:40,599
*
154
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:41,844
AHH!
155
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:44,469
TIME FOR A NAP, PASHA.
156
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:47,035
[cricket chorus]
[tinkling sound]
157
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:53,583
AH!
158
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:56,554
PASHA?
159
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:59,594
OH, MY GOODNESS!
160
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,060
YOU RUINED MY SECRET GARDEN!
161
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,689
[rock music playing]
- NAH, WE JUST INVITED--
162
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,155
WE JUST INVITED
A COUPLE FRIENDS.
163
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:08,503
- WELL, YOUR FRIENDS
SMOKED MARIJUANA
164
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:09,759
OUT OF MY RIPEST GOURD!
165
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:10,797
- OH, REALLY?
166
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:11,971
[crack]
[thud]
167
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:12,999
- WHERE'S PASHA?
168
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,843
I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE.
169
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,968
- SORRY, DUDE. WE RAN OUT
OF CHICKEN WINGS.
170
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,505
- PASHA!
171
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,640
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
AH!
172
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,075
- RELAX, IT'S JUST A RABBIT.
173
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,810
- NO, YOU MONSTER!
174
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:27,005
PASHA IS AGATHA!
175
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:28,647
- WHAT?
- AGATHA COULDN'T TEND TO
176
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,652
THE GARDEN ANYMORE BECAUSE
THE TRICKSTER GNOME
177
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:33,654
TURNED HER INTO A RABBIT WHEN
SHE HARVESTED HIS MUSHROOMS.
178
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:35,157
AND THEN YOU ATE HER!
179
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,888
- NO WAY TO KNOW THAT!
THERE'S NO WAY TO KNOW THAT!
180
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:40,685
- [whimpering, crying]
181
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,128
- BABY.
182
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,732
[flapping]
183
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:47,034
- AND WE WOKE THE SLUMBERING
SPARROW.
184
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,667
- AAH!
185
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:49,942
[bird cry]
186
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,840
- TURNS OUT
THE SLUMBERING SPARROW
187
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,672
DIDN'T LIKE BEING AWAKENED.
188
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:56,807
HE MAULED MITCH PRETTY BAD.
AND ME?
189
00:07:56,844 --> 00:08:00,054
[Mitch screaming]
I WATCHED EVERY SECOND OF IT.
190
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,160
- HELLO, EVERYONE.
191
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,818
TODAY, I'D LIKE TO
READ YOU A POEM
192
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:11,828
THAT I WROTE.
193
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:13,689
I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
194
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:15,697
ALL DAY LONG
I SIT IN MY CAVE,
195
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,699
THINKING ABOUT
WHAT CANDIES I CRAVE.
196
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:19,201
LICORICE IS MY FAVORITE TO EAT,
197
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,842
BUT I'D NEVER TURN DOWN
A GUMMY WORM TREAT.
198
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:23,069
THEY'RE MY FAVORITE AS WELL.
199
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,773
IF WE'RE TALKING ABOUT TAFFY,
200
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,665
I'D BE HAPPY TO CHOOSE BANANA,
201
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,277
AND IF WE'RE TALKING
CLASSIC ROCKERS,
202
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:31,278
I'D BE HAPPY TO CHOOSE SANTANA.
IT'S TRUE.
203
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:34,211
YES, SANTANA AND CANDY
ARE ALWAYS ON MY BRAIN.
204
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:38,917
THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY,
THIS SKELETON KING NAMED WAYNE.
205
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,692
[light music playing]
AW.
206
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,591
WELL...
207
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:43,693
BYE!
208
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:56,965
- HEY, TIM, WHAT ARE YOU
READING?
209
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,944
- OH, IT'S THIS
REALLY GREAT BOOK.
210
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,972
IT'S SUCH A PAGE TURNER,
I CAN'T PUT IT DOWN.
211
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,638
- YEAH, WHAT IS IT?
212
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:03,936
- IT'S THE BIOGRAPHY
OF HULK HOGAN.
213
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,777
GOT IT AT THE AIRPORT.
214
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:07,853
- MAN, YOU'VE BEEN READING THAT
THING ALL DAY, TIM.
215
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:11,791
YOU'RE LIKE TURNING INTO
A REAL BOOKWORM.
216
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:14,859
- YOU KNOW?
I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
217
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,258
I GUESS I AM.
218
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:19,089
SEEMS THAT WHILE
OTHER PEOPLE LIKE TO
219
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:22,926
GO OUT INTO THE WORLD AND MEET
ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE,
220
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,833
I GUESS I PREFER...
221
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,125
[off-key singing]
* TO TAKE AN ADVENTURE
222
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,996
* WITHIN THE PAGES
223
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:32,005
* OF A BOOK
224
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:35,279
* I DON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE
TO MAKE ME HAPPY *
225
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,908
* OR ANYONE ELSE TO MAKE
MY HEART SING *
226
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:41,276
* JUST GIVE ME A BOOK
227
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:45,654
* YEAH, GIVE ME A BIG
OLD, PAPERY BOOK *
228
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:48,056
* 'CAUSE I'M A BOOK GUY
229
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:51,158
* OH, YEAH, I'M A BOOK GUY
230
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,761
* ALL THE ADVENTURE
THAT I'LL EVER NEED *
231
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:58,004
* IS RIGHT THERE ON
THOSE LIBRARY SHELVES *
232
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:01,001
* AND ALSO AT
THE BOOKSTORE SHELVES *
233
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,674
* AT THE AIRPORT
234
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,203
* PAGE, PAGE, PAGES
235
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:06,037
- I ALWAYS THOUGHT,
YOU KNOW,
236
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,813
TIM COULDN'T DANCE AT ALL.
237
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,741
- * DON'T FORGET ABOUT
THE TABLE OF CONTENTS *
238
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:11,878
* FOLKS
239
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,052
- I MEAN, HE CAN.
HE'S VERY GOOD.
240
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,920
- * COVER TO COVER
241
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,118
* OH, BROTHER
242
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:19,189
* SOME MAY CALL ME A DREAMER
243
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,419
* OTHERS MAY FIND ME A FOOL
244
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:25,064
* PAGE AFTER PAGE,
CHAPTER AFTER CHAPTER *
245
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:29,132
* ABOUT THE AUTHOR,
THAT'S WHAT I'M AFTER *
246
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:32,232
* MY MY MY, DON'T KNOW WHY
247
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:36,195
* I'M A BOOK DUDE
AND I'M IN THE MOOD TO *
248
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:39,666
* READ, READ, READ A LOT
249
00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:43,237
* I'M JUST A BOOK GUY
AFTER ALL *
250
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,676
- [off-key]
* LOOK AT THAT STRANGE GUY
251
00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:47,013
* READING THAT BOOK
252
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,817
* HE'S A BOOK GUY, ALL RIGHT
253
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,679
- WE HAVE A BUTCHER?
- * YEAH, HE'S ALWAYS GOT
254
00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:52,088
* HIS NOSE IN THAT
- YEP.
255
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:54,449
* HULK HOGAN BOOK
256
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,217
- [off-key]
* THAT GUY SURE IS DIFFERENT
257
00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:58,987
* I'M STARTING TO THINK HE'S
258
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,356
- HEY, HE'S SINGING WITH
ALL THOSE GUYS NOW.
259
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,004
- [off-key]
* WHEN'S THAT GUY'S FATHER
260
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:06,701
* GONNA MARRY HIM OFF?
261
00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:08,074
- [off-key]
* WHEN'S THAT GUY
262
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:10,371
* GONNA CONFORM
LIKE THE REST OF THE TOWN *
263
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:15,883
* LIKE US GUYS
UP IN THE WINDOWS? *
264
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,809
- * AND DOES HE EVEN HAVE
A DECENT DOWRY? *
265
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:21,746
- * SORRY, FELLAS,
WHAT CAN I SAY *
266
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:24,722
* I'M JUST A BIG OLD
LEAF-THROUGH LARRY *
267
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:27,222
* I'M A GRADE-A
BOOKMARK MONGER *
268
00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:30,194
both: * YES, HE'S A BOOK GUY
269
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:34,093
* A REAL DEAL BOOK GUY
- * BOOK GUY
270
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,227
both: * BOOK GUY
271
00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:39,033
* HE'S A LONER
AND AN INTROVERT *
272
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,326
* HE DOESN'T HAVE A FRIEND
IN THE WORLD *
273
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,838
* EXCEPT FOR US,
MIKE AND JEFF *
274
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:46,211
* HIS TWO BEST FRIENDS
IN THE WORLD *
275
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:49,009
- [high-pitched voice]
* HE'S A BOOK GUY
276
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,382
all: * YEP
277
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:56,223
- ALL RIGHT, NOW WHERE WAS I?
278
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:59,019
AH, YES.
CHAPTER FOUR.
279
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,292
"AFTER HIGH SCHOOL,
I DECIDED TO BECOME A...
280
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,921
PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER"?
281
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,127
PFFT!
282
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,355
[party music]
283
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,467
- PARTY! ALL RIGHT!
- YEAH, MAN.
284
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,074
- I CAN'T BELIEVE WE DID IT.
285
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,365
WE TRICKED THIS ENTIRE
BEACH COMMUNITY
286
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,777
INTO THINKING YOUR UNCLE ERNIE
IS STILL ALIVE.
287
00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:24,380
- NOW ALL WE GOTTA DO
IS SIGN THOSE PAPERS,
288
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,081
AND WE CAN SAVE THIS BEAUTIFUL
BEACH HOUSE
289
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,083
FROM THAT SLIMEBALL HIGGINS.
- UGH.
290
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:30,045
[doorbell]
OOH, THERE'S MARTIN NOW!
291
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,953
- OKAY, ALL RIGHT, ALL WE GOTTA
DO IS SIGN THIS PAPER,
292
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,845
AND WE'LL BE ALL SET.
- UH-HUH.
293
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,557
YOU KNOW, I THINK WE NEED TO PUT
A HOT TUB OVER THERE.
294
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,158
I THINK THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
295
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,330
- [coughing]
- YOU ALL RIGHT, JEFF?
296
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,059
ALL RIGHT, COUGH IT UP, JEFF.
HERE WE GO.
297
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,964
JEFF! JEFF!
[coughing and choking]
298
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:47,025
[gasps]
299
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,337
HE'S DEAD.
300
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,298
[knock on door]
- MIKE? JEFF?
301
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:52,237
YOU GUYS HOME?
- UH, UH...
302
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,842
YEAH, YEAH, JUST A SECOND.
303
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:01,278
OH, MAN.
I HOPE THIS WORKS.
304
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,854
COME ON IN!
305
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,253
HEY!
- HEY!
306
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,224
- MARTIN, HOW ARE YA?
- HI, GUYS.
307
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:07,923
HEY, ERNIE!
308
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,293
LOOKING SHARP, ERNIE.
309
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,325
HOW DO YOU STAY SO HANDSOME?
310
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,926
- [nervous laugh]
HE DOESN'T KNOW.
311
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,865
- YEAH, IT'S TOUGH FOR US
OLD TIMERS
312
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,100
TO STAY ALIVE AND KICKING,
HUH?
313
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,374
- ALIVE AND KICKING!
GOOD ONE.
314
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,002
WHAT?
- AND HOW ARE YOU GUYS LIVING?
315
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,867
- LIVING? UM, INTERESTING
QUESTION, MARTIN.
316
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,337
WE'RE, UH...WE'RE LIVING LARGE.
317
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,905
- YEAH.
- OH.
318
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:33,054
- WHAT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M
DOING HERE, I NEED YOUR HELP!
319
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,980
- OKAY, NOW, HOW MANY OF YOU
WILL BE ON THIS CONTRACT?
320
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,146
- OH, UH, I WILL BE AND UH,
321
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,845
JEFF HERE, AND OF COURSE,
ERNIE TOO, SO,
322
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,088
ALL THREE OF US.
323
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:43,462
- AND ERNIE, DO YOU APPROVE?
324
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,160
I NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE
100% ON BOARD HERE.
325
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:48,403
IF YOU NEED MORE TIME TO THINK
ABOUT IT, AS YOUR LAWYER,
326
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:49,928
I CAN GIVE YOU THAT TIME...
- [gasps]
327
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,333
- I CAN LEAVE THE HOUSE,
I CAN LEAVE THE ROOM.
328
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:52,934
- NO YOU CAN'T--YES, YES, YES.
329
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,866
WE ALL AGREE. ALL THREE OF US.
330
00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:56,172
- ALL RIGHT, ALL THREE.
331
00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:57,543
YOU KNOW, ERNIE HERE MAKES
332
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,510
THE BEST RUM AND DIET COKE
I'VE EVER HAD.
333
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,139
- OH, YEAH, DOESN'T HE?
- I COULD REALLY GO
334
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,014
FOR ONE OF THOSE RIGHT NOW.
- SURE, UH, JEFF,
335
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,253
WHY DON'T WE HELP HIM?
JUST GOTTA GET THAT RUM, AND,
336
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:06,248
UH, DIET COKE, RIGHT?
337
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,379
- YES.
- GREAT.
338
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:08,884
WE GOTTA GET MARTIN OUTTA HERE.
339
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,146
HE'S GONNA CATCH ON.
340
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,893
- THAT DRINK ALMOST READY, GUYS?
341
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,489
- UH...
[in high voice] JUST A MINUTE!
342
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,020
[lower voice]
YOU GREEDY PRICK.
343
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:17,015
WOULD YOU STOP AND LET ME DO
THE TALKING?
344
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,027
[glass breaking, thudding]
345
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,329
HEY, AND--THERE HE GOES.
346
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,330
EASY, ERNIE. THERE WE ARE.
- ALL RIGHT.
347
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,402
- AND DOWN YOU GO, ERNIE.
348
00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:25,270
AND, JEFF, WHAT A DANCE PARTNER!
349
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:26,898
[laughs] HEY
350
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,904
OKAY, GREAT. HEY, MARTIN,
YOU KNOW WHAT?
351
00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:31,266
WE'RE ALL OUT OF RUM
AND DIET COKE, AND ERNIE HERE
352
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,314
JUST REMINDED ME, WE'VE GOT
A TENNIS LESSON TOMORROW,
353
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:36,440
SO CAN WE GET THIS--
- [choking]
354
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:39,246
- YEAH, I CAN SEE!
355
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:45,416
[gasps]
HE'S DEAD.
356
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:49,162
[gasps]
DON'T WORRY, I'VE GOT A PLAN.
357
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,659
I HOPE THIS WORKS.
ALL RIGHT,
358
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,530
HERE'S THE, UH, CONTRACT
FOR YOU HERE, ERNIE
359
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,059
IF YOU WANNA TAKE A LOOK.
[in higher voice] OH, I'D BE
360
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,404
HAPPY TO TAKE A LOOK.
HERE WE ARE.
361
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:56,528
HEY, MARTIN, DON'T FALL DOWN.
362
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,533
ALL RIGHT,
LET ME JUST READ THROUGH
363
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,174
THE WHOLE CONTRACT HERE.
364
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,929
THE WHOLE CONTRACT?
THIS IS GONNA TAKE FOREVER.
365
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:02,238
YEAH, I KNOW, AND ERNIE'S
A SLOW READER.
366
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:03,339
HEY, YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD,
ERNIE.
367
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,210
HE'S FINE, MARTIN!
368
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,968
WOULD YOU PLEASE SIGN
THIS THING ALREADY?
369
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,377
ALL RIGHT, I JUST NEED A PEN.
370
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,708
[in high voice] OH, I GOT A PEN,
LET ME JUST SEE HERE.
371
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,382
OH, I HAD A PEN.
I DON'T KNOW.
372
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,311
I GOT A PEN RIGHT HERE.
UH, MARTIN,
373
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,146
I GOT A QUESTION
ABOUT THIS WORD RIGHT HERE.
374
00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:17,022
OH, THAT'S LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO,
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
375
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,450
YEAH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT,
ERNIE, JUST SIGN PLEASE.
376
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,445
ALL RIGHT, AND DONE!
377
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:23,057
WE DID IT!
JEFF, WE DID IT!
378
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:25,090
JEFF?
379
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,585
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
380
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,456
THEY'RE ALL DEAD.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
381
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:30,295
THIS WEEKEND AT ERNIE'S
382
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,070
IS STARTING TO REMIND ME
OF THAT MOVIE--
383
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,999
BEACH HOUSE BLUNDER.
384
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,480
- COME ON, GUYS!
DON'T GIVE UP.
385
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,580
WE MIGHT BE DOWN,
BUT WE'RE NOT OUT.
386
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:49,082
- DAMN IT!
- I'VE GOT A SECRET WEAPON.
387
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:51,146
- A NEW TEAMMATE?
- I GOTTA TELL YOU,
388
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:53,324
HE IS A BIT OF A COACH'S PET.
389
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:54,353
- WELL, CAN HE PLAY?
390
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,317
- LET'S JUST SAY
391
00:15:56,356 --> 00:16:01,126
THIS OLD DOG
HAS SOME NEW TRICKS.
392
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:02,201
- AH...
393
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:04,099
[laughing]
394
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:06,371
- HEY, I THINK
IT COULD BE A DOG.
395
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:09,139
[overlapping chatter]
- DOG.
396
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,069
- IT'S MY PET HERMIT CRAB!
397
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:12,374
- OH.
- OH.
398
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,365
- JUST PUT SOME SHOES ON,
AND WE CAN GO!
399
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:15,537
- HEY, SPARTANS!
A HERMIT CRAB
400
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,005
CAN'T PLAY BASKETBALL.
401
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,705
WHY DON'T YOU GUYS JUST GO RUN
BACK TO THE LOCKER ROOM
402
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:21,776
WITH YOUR TAIL BETWEEN
YOUR LEGS?
403
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,154
- CRAM IT, WILDCATS!
404
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,383
- HEY, YOU HEARD THE MAN!
405
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,517
CATS DROOL!
406
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,393
DOGS RULE!
407
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,521
- YEAH!
- THERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
408
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:33,587
GET OUT THERE AND PLAY!
409
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:35,256
- * OH, NO, SOMEBODY
BROUGHT DOGS! *
410
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:36,355
- * GET IT, GET IT
411
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,266
- * WHO BROUGHT THE CANINES
412
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,498
[dogs barking]
413
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:43,473
* WHO BROUGHT THE CANINES
414
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,543
- GET THE BALL TO HIM!
PASS THE BALL TO HIM!
415
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:46,812
TO HIS PINCHERS!
416
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,639
- * WHO BROUGHT THE CANINES
417
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,335
- GET TO THE HOLE.
GET TO THE HOLE.
418
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:51,537
- I'M OPEN!
- * WHO BROUGHT THE CANINES
419
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:52,578
[crowd yelling]
420
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,812
- COME ON, REF...
421
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,817
- * WHO BROUGHT THE CANINES
422
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,189
- THIS CRAB SUCKS.
- WELL, YEAH, YEAH, HE SUCKS.
423
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,689
BUT HE'S THE ONLY THING WE GOT.
- YEAH, HE'S BETTER THAN YOU.
424
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,421
- HEY, TELL--TELL COACH
TO PUT ME IN.
425
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,186
- * HEY, PARTY PEOPLE
EVERYWHERE *
426
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:07,455
* WHO BROUGHT THE CANINES
427
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:09,104
* HA HA HA
428
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:11,299
- HIS PINCHERS ARE WIDE OPEN!
429
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,301
- LISTEN TO COACH!
430
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,473
- PASS THE BALL TO
THE DAMN CRAB!
431
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,213
[crowd quiets down]
432
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,468
- OOH.
[buzzer]
433
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,336
- OKAY, GUYS, OKAY, OKAY.
434
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,544
WE CAN STILL DO THIS,
AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHY?
435
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,606
WE GOT ANOTHER DOG IN THE FIGHT.
436
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:30,115
AND THIS TIME,
HIS NAME IS ROVER!
437
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,150
MY OTHER PET HERMIT CRAB!
438
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,145
[guys groaning]
439
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:34,646
[tweets]
[buzzer]
440
00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:37,863
[click]
441
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,190
- [slow motion]
THERE YOU GO!
442
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:43,227
[inspirational sports music]
443
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:47,233
*
444
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,367
[click]
445
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,484
[click]
446
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:56,878
[swoosh]
[buzzer]
447
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,209
[everyone cheering]
448
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,518
all: AW.
449
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,552
- OH. DAMN IT!
450
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,417
- I GUESS MY HERMIT CRAB'S BARK
WAS WORSE THAN ITS BITE.
451
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,827
- SCREW YOU, COACH.
452
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:15,229
- THAT WAS REALLY STUPID.
- BUT...
453
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:18,402
[sighs]
454
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:21,631
WELL,
THAT DIDN'T GO TOO WELL.
455
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:32,211
- WHOA.
- WOO-HOO.
456
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,305
- OOH, MAMA.
WHAT A SUMMER.
457
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,877
- SUMMER?
458
00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:37,245
SUMMER ENDED MONTHS AGO!
459
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,354
- IT DID?
460
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,487
- AND SPEAKING OF WHICH,
WE REALLY SHOULDN'T BE WEARING
461
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:44,862
THESE WHITE PANTS
AFTER LABOR DAY.
462
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,631
- [laughs]
YOU'RE RIGHT!
463
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:49,629
- AH, A GOOD SUMMER THOUGH.
- I HAD A GREAT SUMMER.
464
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,662
- SEE YA!
- WE'RE ALL SET.
465
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,368
- GUYS?
466
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,400
WHAT IF...
467
00:18:56,436 --> 00:19:01,906
I WORE WHITE PANTS
AFTER LABOR DAY?
468
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:04,641
- [laughs]
OKAY.
469
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:07,247
VERY FUNNY, TIM.
[laughs]
470
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,280
- NO!
471
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:13,518
I'M SERIOUS.
472
00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:14,623
- WHAT?
473
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,494
- TIM...
474
00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:19,763
YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY MEAN WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING HERE.
475
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:24,202
- MIKE, I CAN POSSIBLY MEAN
WHAT I'M SAYING RIGHT NOW
476
00:19:24,231 --> 00:19:26,771
BETTER THAN I HAVE
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
477
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:30,769
WHY CAN'T WE WEAR WHITE PANTS
ALL YEAR ROUND, GUYS?
478
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:33,943
WHY CAN'T WE LIVE THE LIVES
WE'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF?
479
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,283
- YOU'RE PREACHING TO THE CHOIR
HERE, MAN.
480
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,939
OF COURSE WE WANT
A WHITE PANTS WORLD.
481
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:40,477
THAT'S ALL ANYONE IN THIS DAMN
TOWN EVER DREAMS OF!
482
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,983
NOW YOU HAD A GREAT SUMMER
IN THOSE PANTS, HUH?
483
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:47,245
- TIM, YOU WENT SKINNY DIPPING
IN THE LAKE...IN THOSE PANTS!
484
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:48,757
- BUT ALL GOOD THINGS
MUST COME TO AN END,
485
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:50,358
SO I'M GONNA TAKE
YOUR PANTS OFF.
486
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:52,690
- NO! NOT THIS, OKAY?
487
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:55,225
- WHOA! TIM!
[slap]
488
00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:57,732
WHAT ABOUT ROCKO AND HIS BOYS?
THEY WON'T STAND FOR IT!
489
00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:59,834
- THE PANTS STAY ON!
- THE PANTS STAY OFF!
490
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,566
COME ON! COME ON!
- IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!
491
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:03,671
- AAH!
492
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,643
- YOU KNOW ME, ROCKO.
[laughter] YEAH!
493
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:08,542
- YOU'RE GONNA PULL MY PANTS
CLEAR OFF OF ME!
494
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,535
- WHAT THE [bleep] IS THIS SHIT?
495
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,747
- OH!
- ROCKO!
496
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:15,579
[maniacal laughter]
497
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:16,915
- WHO DO WE GOT HERE?
498
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,749
- [shrill voice]
A REAL WISE GUY, EH?
499
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:22,286
- AM I SEEING THINGS
OR IS THIS PIECE OF SHIT
500
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:25,392
WEARING WHITE AFTER MIDNIGHT
ON LABOR DAY?
501
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:28,495
- [gasp]
502
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,458
- OH-HO! YOU AIN'T SEEING
THINGS, BOSS.
503
00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:32,427
- WHY THE [bleep]
ARE YOU WEARING THOSE
504
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:35,635
[bleep] WHITE PANTS AFTER
[bleep] LABOR DAY?
505
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:38,508
- WELL, I, UH--
- I, UH--SHUT UP!
506
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:39,768
[thud]
- OH!
507
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,606
- I'LL KILL HIM!
TAKE 'EM OFF!
508
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,611
- HEY! GET OFF OF HIM,
YOU WILD ANIMALS.
509
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,043
HE'S GONNA TAKE 'EM OFF!
510
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,777
[everyone panting]
511
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,357
- WHITE SHORTS?
512
00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:57,559
- YOU BASTARD!
513
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,330
[thwack]
- AH!
514
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:04,461
- AND SO...THEY BEAT HIM.
515
00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:06,997
BUT NO BEATING COULD EVER
TAKE AWAY THE FACT
516
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:10,373
THAT HE HAD WORN WHITE PANTS
AFTER LABOR DAY.
517
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:11,973
[bicycle bell rings]
I DIDN'T SEE THE OLD GANG
518
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,774
TOO MUCH AFTER THAT DAY.
519
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:16,536
THEY ALL WENT
THEIR SEPARATE WAYS.
520
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,676
LATER THAT YEAR,
ROCKO WAS DRAFTED BY
521
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,611
THE UNITED STATES ARMY,
522
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:24,417
AND HE FOUGHT
AND DIED IN VIETNAM.
523
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:27,791
KIP BEGAN DATING SANDY SANDERSON
THAT WINTER.
524
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:30,520
THEY EVENTUALLY MARRIED
AND HAD TWO DAUGHTERS.
525
00:21:30,557 --> 00:21:33,027
HE DIED IN VIETNAM.
526
00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:36,059
POGO ACTUALLY ENDED UP DOING
PRETTY WELL FOR HIMSELF.
527
00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:39,765
HE WENT TO VIETNAM, AND WAS
AWARDED A PURPLE HEART...
528
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,729
FOR DYING.
529
00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:45,068
DAVE WENT ON TO LIVE A VERY
TROUBLED, CONFLICTED LIFE.
530
00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:48,344
ONE MIGHT EVEN SAY THAT HE DIED
A LITTLE INSIDE...
531
00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:49,805
WHEN HE WAS SHOT IN THE BRAIN
532
00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:52,982
[man screaming]
- AND DIED IN VIETNAM.
533
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:54,912
MIKE ALSO WENT TO VIETNAM.
534
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:57,817
FORTUNATELY,
HE PULLED KITCHEN DUTY
535
00:21:57,850 --> 00:22:00,120
AND AVOIDED THE FRONT LINES
BY WORKING THE DEEP FRYER
536
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,362
IN AN ARMY MESS HALL.
537
00:22:02,389 --> 00:22:05,459
HE FRIED IN VIETNAM.
538
00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:07,462
AND AS FOR TIM,
539
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:11,704
WELL, HIS STORY'S AS OLD
AS THE HILLS.
540
00:22:11,731 --> 00:22:13,701
HE DIED IN VIETNAM.
541
00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:16,043
- HEY, WHITEPANTS!
[gunshots]
542
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:19,608
- WELL, THAT'S THE END OF MY
MEMOIR ABOUT THOSE GUYS
543
00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:21,669
THAT I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW.
544
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:24,638
[mellow music]
545
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:27,007
YEP, I DIED TOO.
546
00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:33,154
- WELL, GOOD-BYE EVERYONE!
547
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:34,545
- ABSO-LUTELY.
548
00:22:34,587 --> 00:22:36,017
- BYE-BYE!
38266
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