Original subtitles

- HI, MY NAME IS STAFF SERGEANT KEN BRAWN,

AND I'VE BEEN DEPLOYED FOR TWO YEARS, ONE MONTH,

AND 18 DAYS.

HEY, YOU.

- OH! OH, MY GOD! HI!

HI!

- WE GOT HER.

- STAFF SERGEANT BRIAN HODGENS, LANSING, MICHIGAN.

YEAH.

- HERE WE GO, TIGERS.

- STRIKE!

- STRIKE TWO! - COME ON.

- STRIKE THREE! - DUDE, COME ON.

- [shouting]

- * MY LOVE, DON'T GIVE UP

- SECOND LIEUTENANT STEVEN MIDWAY,

OSWEGO, NEW YORK. - * YOUR HEART IS TOUGH

* KEEP ON

- HEY. - [screams]

- * DON'T LET GO

* YOU WILL FIND

* YOUR WAY HOME - SERGEANT JIM RODGERS.

BACK IN FREEHOLD, NEW JERSEY, TO SEE MY WIFE, CLAIRE.

- * YOU WILL FIND - HI, CLAIRE.

- * YOUR WAY HOME - OH, MY GOD.

- I'M SERGEANT COLTRANE,

AND THIS IS THE BALLSLAP.

DEAR LORD, PLEASE SAVE MY COJONES.

- YOU'RE A JERK.

- BUZZ!

- [chuckling] - GOT YOU ALL!

- GO, GO, GO. THAT'S HIM.

- HEY, SONNY BOY.

DID YOU GET HIM?

- PUT ANOTHER CRACK IN HIS ASS.

- IN 1973, COMPUTER SCIENCE ENGINEER VINTON CERF

CREATED A HOST-TO-HOST PROTOCOL FOR DIGITAL INFORMATION.

THIS CREATED A NETWORK THAT COULD BE USED TO TRANSMIT

DATA FROM ONE COMPUTER TO ANOTHER FOR THE PURPOSE

OF CALLING ATTENTION TO YOURSELF.

OVER THE NEXT FEW DECADES,

THE NETWORK GREW, ALLOWING PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD

THE OPPORTUNITY TO CALL ATTENTION TO THEMSELVES.

TODAY, OVER TWO BILLION PEOPLE

USE THIS DIGITAL WEB EVERY DAY FOR ATTENTION.

THE INTERNET.

IT'LL FOREVER BE REMEMBERED AS CERF'S FOLLY.

- OH, MAN, THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN THE BATTLE

AT THE END OF THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.

FIRST TIME I SAW IT, WHEN DARK VADER TELLS LOU SKYWALKER

THAT HE'S HIS DAD IT BLEW MY MIND.

"LOU, I AM YOUR FATHER."

- AND LOU'S LIKE,

"NO, DARK VADER.

I'LL KILL YOU AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY, YOU BASTARD!

AND IF YOU EVER TRY TO CUT OFF MY LEGS AGAIN,

I'M GONNA RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!"

- "OOH, I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU, LOU.

IT'S TIME TO BATTLE."

- "DON'T TRY TO SHOOT ME OR I'LL SHOOT YOU RIGHT BACK."

- EXCUSE ME, GUYS.

ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT STAR WARS?

- YEAH, ARE WE BOTHERING YOU OR SOMETHING?

- KIND OF-- I'M A HUGE STAR WARS FAN,

AND YOU GUYS ARE BUTCHERING THOSE LINES.

- REALLY? WELL, THEN WHY DON'T YOU ENLIGHTEN US ALL,

OH-BEE-WON KENOBI?

- "VADER, YOU COMPLETE ASSHOLE.

IF YOU DON'T GET ME TO A HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW,

I'M GONNA BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF, YOU BASTARD!"

- I HAD THE LINE WRONG.

I'M VICK.

THIS IS DENNY. SIT WITH US.

RAP ABOUT THE WARS, MY MAN. - YOU ALMOST HAD IT.

DUDE, YOU GOT TO DO THE VOICE.

- DUDE, I WAS DOING THE VOICE.

"TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW!"

- "TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW!"

- "RIGHT NOW!"

all: "OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FREAKING HEAD OFF, YOU BASTARD!"

- THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

- I LIKE YOU. - THIS GUY KNOWS HIS STUFF.

- CHECK THIS OUT, ROB.

- OH, YOU GOT A HAN SOLO TATTOO?

- I PAID A HUNDRED BUCKS FOR IT.

- YODER IS THE COOLEST 'CAUSE HE DRIVES THE TANK.

- YOU A CHEWBACCA GUY OR A MILLENNIUM FALCON GUY?

- CHEWBY BY A LIGHT YEAR.

- NICE ONE.

YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE EWOKS, RIGHT?

both: THEY'RE ALL ROBOTS. - IN FUR COATS.

- "GOLD MAN, HURRY UP WITH THOSE BULLETS, MAN.

I'M ALMOST FRESH OUT!"

- "YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME, OBI WAN KENOBI.

I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT GUNS AND BULLETS."

- OH, AND CHEWBY.

all: "STRANGLE HIS JET PACK ASS."

[all singing]

- YOU GUYS LIKE STAR TRAK?

- USE THE FORCE, PECAN, AND TELL SPOCK TO DO THE SAME.

- YOU KIDDIN' ME? I AM A HUGE STAR TRAKKER.

- "HURRY UP, YOU LITTLE GREEN DUDE.

LET'S MOVE!"

- EXCUSE ME. - OH, NO.

- HI, I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO YOU GUYS

TALK ABOUT STAR WARS FOR THE PAST 40 MINUTES,

AND IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE YOU'VE SEEN THOSE MOVIES.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE USING NAMES LIKE LOU SKYWALKER

AND DARK VADER,

AND YOU SEEM TO THINK THAT THEY USED MACHINE GUNS

AND SAY "BASTARD" A LOT.

- I'VE SEEN ALL THE STAR WARS MOVIES, LIKE, 20 TIMES EACH.

- WAS THE SOUND ON? - ALL THE WAY UP, MY MAN.

- YOU KNOW, I THINK I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONFUSION.

IF YOU WANT TO COME WITH US, WE COULD CLEAR IT ALL UP.

- YEAH, I'D BETTER DO THAT.

- TAKE A LOOK. - OH, I USED TO HAVE THIS.

- YEAH. - WHAT'S THIS?

- THIS IS WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT IN THE BAR.

THIS IS STARWARS.

- IT WAS A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE.

THE FIRST ONE WAS RELEASED IN 1977,

BUT THE SAME YEAR, A MOVIE WITH A SIMILAR TITLE

CAME OUT AND BLEW THIS ONE OUT OF THE WATER.

- WELL, WHO MADE THIS STARWARS?

- GEORGE LUCAS'S FRIEND, BEN HAMISH.

- WANT TO WATCH IT?

- OH, IT'S ONE WORD.

STARWARS.

- GIVE ME BACK MY GIRLFRIEND, HAN SOLO.

- WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON'T, YOU BASTARD?

- I'LL BLOW YOUR [bleep] DAMN HEAD OFF.

- HE'S GOT A GUN! - WE ALL DO! YEAH!

- AND HERE, YOU HAVE A CHARACTER NAMED HAN SOLO,

BUT HE ACTS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THAN THE CHARACTER

WITH THE VERY SAME NAME IN THE OTHER MOVIES.

- YEAH. - TAKE THAT, YOU ASS [bleep].

- AND THE DEATH STAR.

EVERYONE KEEPS REFERRING TO IT AS DARK VADER'S HOUSE.

- YODA, COME DOWN HERE AND TRAIN ME.

- YOU'RE NOT READY, LOU.

- TRAIN ME NOW, YOU BASTARD!

- WHAT'S WITH EVERYONE CALLING EACH OTHER BASTARDS

AND ASSHOLES?

- OH, THAT'S BEN HAMISH'S SIGNATURE STYLE.

- THE NEXT TIME I SEE DARK VADER,

I'M GONNA PUT A BULLET UP HIS ROBOT ASS.

SHUT UP, YOU YAMMERING SACK OF CRAP.

I WILL BE CAREFUL.

- LOU, HANNY, ME AND THE OTHER STAR TRAKKERS

WANT TO HELP YOU GUYS KICK SOME ASS.

both: YES. - SPOCK, MAN.

- YOU HAVE ROOM ON YOUR TEAM FOR THIS LITTLE SPACE BITCH?

- YOU EVEN HAVE THE FIREPOWER?

- YOU BET YOUR LITTLE VULCAN BALLS I DO.

both: OH! - YES!

- EVERY ONE OF YOU EWOKS IS A [bleep] DAMN BASTARD!

- [laughs]

- OH, NO, THAT BASTARD DARK VADER'S

ON OUR SWEET LITTLE ASSES, CHEWBY.

LET'S HIT IT.

- HOLDS UP SO WELL.

- WHOO. - MAN, IT'S SO GOOD.

- I LOVED IT.

THAT WAS A FANTASTIC MOVIE, BUT WHY'D IT GET FORGOTTEN?

- THE INTERNET CAME ALONG,

AND EVERYONE ON THERE WAS SO OBSESSED

WITH THE GEORGE LUCAS STAR WARS THAT THIS ONE JUST KIND OF FELL

BY THE WAYSIDE.

- THE INTERNET.

BECAUSE BASTARD OR NOT,

WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE TO SEE THAT NETWORK SHUT DOWN FOR GOOD.

- I'M SERGEANT JOEL KEELER.

LET'S GO.

HO, HO, HO.

LA, LA, LA. HO, HO, HO.

TA-DA.

OH, I GOT IT. I GOT IT. GO, GO, GO, GO.

TA-DA!

[bird screeches]

- [breathes deeply]

- ROGER, YOU STILL UP?

IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

- YEAH, I'M FINE.

I JUST CAN'T SLEEP.

SOMETHING HAPPENED TODAY,

AND, HONEY, I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.

- OH, WELL WHAT IS IT?

YOU CAN TELL ME.

- IT'S...

IT'S MY FORMER COWORKER.

APPARENTLY, THERE WAS THIS ARTICLE GOING AROUND ONLINE

TODAY, AND EVERYONE WAS SHARING IT,

BUT WHEN MY OLD COWORKER READ IT, SHE HAD AN OPINION ABOUT IT.

APPARENTLY, SHE...

SHE DIDN'T LIKE THE ARTICLE.

I MEAN, I WAS BLINDSIDED.

I JUST CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.

- OH, WELL...

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA SAY THAT YOU COULDN'T SLEEP

BECAUSE YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR MOM.

- OH, THAT'S TRUE.

WE ARE TAKING HER OFF LIFE SUPPORT TOMORROW, HUH?

WELL, I BETTER GET SOME Z's.

GOOD NIGHT, HONEY.

- JUST REMEMBER YOUR MOM LED AN AMAZING--

- [snoozing]

- PLEASE TAKE A SEAT. - THANK YOU, DR. GASPARIAN.

HEY, HOW'RE YOU HOLDING UP?

- I'LL BE OKAY.

IT'S...IT'S JUST HARD.

- I KNOW.

YOUR MOM WAS SUCH A GREAT LADY.

- IT'S NOT THAT.

IT'S...IT'S MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE.

- WHAT ABOUT HER?

- WELL, SHE STARTED TALKING TO ME TODAY,

AND SHE BROUGHT UP THE TOPIC OF DIETING.

TURNS OUT SHE'S GOT A PRETTY STRONG OPINION ABOUT IT.

WHAT SHE SAYS IS SURE,

YOU CAN LOSE WEIGHT IF YOU BASICALLY STARVE YOURSELF,

BUT I GUESS THAT'S NOT A GOOD WAY TO DO IT.

WHAT'S BETTER TO DO IS THIS NEW THING THAT SHE'S BEEN DOING,

AND I GUESS IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN WHAT SOME LADIES

SHE KNOWS HAVE BEEN DOING, AND GOD...

- OKAY, WELL,

DOCTOR GASPARIAN HAS SOME DOCUMENTS

FOR YOU TO SIGN REGARDING YOUR MOTHER'S DEATH.

- OH, YEAH. OKAY, SURE.

- SO LET US NOT MOURN HER DEATH.

CELEBRATE HER LIFE.

ROGER.

ROGER!

WOULD YOU LIKE TO JUST--PLEASE.

- I JUST WANT TO SAY, UNCLE DINO,

YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT ARE FASCINATING.

THESE NEW SATELLITES AND STREET CAMERAS

ARE LIKE BIG BROTHER FROM GEORGE ORWELL'S BOOK 1984.

- IF YOU'VE EVER HAD A PHONE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT,

THEY KNOW WHERE YOU ARE.

- AND COUSIN RALPH, YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT HOW

CELEBRITIES FROM REALITY SHOWS DON'T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING.

- THEY'RE JUST FAMOUS FOR BEING ON THE TV.

- AND MY NEPHEW, BRUCE-PATRICK GARNETTI.

I'LL NEVER FORGET THE TIME

YOU SAW THAT MOVIE EVERYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT,

BUT YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS THAT GOOD.

YOU THOUGHT CERTAIN PARTS WERE A BIT OF A STRETCH.

- THAT'S GARBAGE. EVERYONE LOVES IT.

THEY'RE EATING IT UP AND LAUGHING.

- BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN TO FILM SCHOOL.

THAT IS VERY IMPRESSIVE TO ME.

THERE ARE SO MANY FASCINATING OPINIONS IN THE WORLD,

AND I JUST WANT TO HEAR EVERYONE.

SO THANK YOU.

THANK YOU ALL.

[thunder]

- COLTRANE, YOU UP?

- WHAT?

- I CAN'T SLEEP.

I GO HOME TOMORROW.

- THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

- WELL, WE'RE AT WAR, MAN.

I HAVEN'T BEEN HOME IN A WHILE, AND I'M WORRIED I WON'T BE

ABLE TO ELABORATELY SURPRISE MY FAMILY.

- KEN, WHATEVER YOU GOT PLANNED, I'M SURE IT'S GREAT.

- I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT

'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING PLANNED.

- YOU BETTER TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING RIGHT NOW, BROWN.

YOU GOT A WIFE AND TWO KIDS COUNTING ON YOU.

- I DID THINK MAYBE I COULD,

LIKE, WALK UP BEHIND THEM AND JUST SAY, "GUESS WHAT?

IT'S ME."

- PATHETIC, BROWN. - I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST THOUGHT RETURNING AFTER A YEAR

AND A HALF OF SERVING MY COUNTRY WAS ENOUGH.

- I WENT VIRAL AFTER MY FIRST TOUR.

MY FIRST TOUR.

NOW, THE CHANNEL TWO NEWS GUY,

HE CALLS ME AND ASKS ME WHEN I'M COMING HOME.

- REGINALDO ALPHONSY?

- THAT'S WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO.

THE HITS.

- YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?

YOU THINK I'M NOT TRYING TO SURPRISE MY FAMILY?

YOU DON'T THINK I FEEL THE PRESSURE

TO COME WITH A PERFECT PRANK,

SO EVERYBODY CAN WATCH IT ONLINE?

I'M A DISGRACE TO MY COUNTRY, I GUESS.

[sobbing]

[thunder]

WAIT, HELP ME.

NO, DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS, MAN.

- YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF. - I TOOK A BULLET FOR YOU.

- YEAH, IN THE HAIR.

- YEAH, BUT STILL.

COULD I BE A PART OF YOUR THING?

- NO, MAN.

I DON'T SHARE HITS.

- AWW.

- GOOD NIGHT, BROWN.

- NO!

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO HARD TO PRANK MY FAMILY?

- YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP THE ENEMY, BROWN.

- OH, NO.

OH, NO.

- HI, I'M PRIVATE KEN BROWN. HERE GOES NOTHING, HUH?

- GONNA MAKE IT WORK, YOU KNOW?

I KNOW YOU'RE A TEENAGER.

I KNOW YOU'RE GOING THROUGH WHATEVER.

- HEY, IT'S, UH, IT'S ME.

- HELLO. SHOULD I GET THE VAN?

- YEAH, BUT I MEAN, WERE YOU SURPRISED OR...

- NO, NOT REALLY.

I WASN'T. - SURPRISE, DAD.

- OH.

- JOSH?

OH, MY GOD.

I THINK YOU GOT ME.

- HEY, THAT IS HOW IT IS DONE,

BRAWN, YOU CHUMP.

[modem handshake beeping]

[laughter] - THAT IS THE TRUTH, BOB.

THE TOWN COUNCIL MEETING IN BURBANK

TODAY HAD A VERY INTERESTING DISCOVERY

WHEN THEY HAD TO FACE THE TOP...

OH, MY GOD.

- READ IT.

- UM, THERE IS A MAN HERE ON OUR SET TODAY

WITH A GUN WHO WOULD LIKE

ME TO READ A PIECE OF PAPER THAT WAS JUST HANDED TO ME.

"IT'S A PRETTY GOOD DAY.

WENT FOR A JOG.

WIFE AND KIDS PLAYING OUTSIDE.

LIFE DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS.

A CIGAR IS DEFINITELY IN MY FUTURE."

IS THAT IT?

- MM-HMM.

- YOU DON'T HAVE ANY DEMANDS OR ANYTHING?

- NO, THAT'S IT.

- THIS IS YOUR MESSAGE? - YEAH.

- YOU THINK PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR THAT?

- YEAH. - YOU THINK PEOPLE CARE?

THEY DON'T.

YOU'RE SAD AND PATHETIC.

WALK AWAY.

[gun discharges]

[both laughing]

YOU THINK THE WORLD CARES WHAT YOU DO EVERY SINGLE MINUTE

OF THE DAY? [laughter]

- NO, IT'S CRAZY.

- WHAT'D YOU HAVE FOR LUNCH, BOB?

- WELL, TODAY-- - I DON'T CARE.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

- IN OTHER NEWS,

BEN HAMISH'S STARWARS ENTERS THEATERS THIS WEEKEND.

- HEY. [whistling]

- SHH, SHH, SHH.

[telephones ringing] - HEY, GUYS.

IT'S TELLING ME THAT SOMEONE'S BEEN BROWSING PORNOGRAPHY

DURING THE WORK DAY.

OBVIOUSLY, WE CAN'T HAVE THAT SO JUST DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN.

- THEY CAN TELL THAT?

- YEAH, THE SERVER KEEPS A RECORD OF ALL THE TRAFFIC

ON THE NETWORK.

WAS IT YOU?

- NO. - OKAY.

- BUT WHAT IF YOU CLEAR YOUR HISTORY?

- THAT'S YOUR LOCAL HISTORY.

THE SERVER STILL KEEPS A RECORD.

- MR. JAMESON, WHAT ABOUT PRIVATE BROWSING?

IN SAFARI, WHEN YOU SELECT "PRIVATE BROWSING,"

IT SAYS IT WON'T STORE THE PAGES

YOU VISITED OR YOUR SEARCH HISTORY OR ANYTHING, SO...

- WELL, MARTIN, I GUESS WE'D HAVE TO ASK I.T.

MY UNDERSTANDING IS THAT THE SERVER KEEPS A RECORD,

SO WAS IT YOU?

- FOR THE PORNO? - YEAH.

- NO. - WONDERFUL.

WE CAN REALLY DRAW SOME ATTENTION TO OURSELVES.

OH, MARTIN, IS THAT THE REPORT?

- NO. I WAS JUST WONDERING WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SOMEONE

WERE TO TAKE THEIR WORK COMPUTER ONTO THEIR HOME NETWORK,

AND THEN LOOK AT SITES LIKE XRATEDSEXTUBE.COM

OR HOT2PORNO.COM

OR--MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT BOOBS.NET

WHICH I HAVEN'T LOOKED AT BUT--

- MARTIN! - YES?

- COULD YOU PLEASE LEAVE US ALONE?

WE HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT MEETING WITH THE INVESTORS TODAY,

AND I CAN'T BE DEALING WITH ANY OF THIS, OKAY?

NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS, UNDERSTOOD?

UGH. SORRY ABOUT THAT.

UM, SO LIKE I WAS SAYING-- [phone rings]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

MARTIN, YOU NEED TO LEAVE ME-- - MR. JAMESON, COME QUICK!

MARTIN'S GONNA SHUT DOWN THE INTERNET!

- FOR THE WHOLE BUILDING?

- FOR THE WHOLE WORLD!

- OH, MY GOD.

- HE'S GOT A HOSTAGE.

- I NEED BACKUP!

GET ME THE DAMN UNITED STATES ARMY, OKAY?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE ALL MAKING WEB VIDEOS?

I NEED 'EM HERE NOW!

NOW! HEY, BUDDY, YOU CAN'T GO DOWN THERE.

- I'M HIS BOSS.

- OKAY. - MARTIN.

- I'M GONNA DO IT.

- MARTIN, DON'T DO THIS.

WHATEVER YOU LOOKED AT, I FORGIVE YOU, OKAY?

LET'S JUST TALK ABOUT IT.

- SO NOW, YOU WANT TO TALK, HUH? TOO LATE.

- I'M SORRY, MARTIN,

BUT THIS INNOCENT MAN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

- DON'T YOU GET IT?

HE HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IT.

HE SET THIS WHOLE THING IN MOTION.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, VINT?

- WHAT? - TELL HIM.

- I'M VINTON CERF.

- THE FATHER OF THE INTERNET?

- I PUT THIS SWITCH HERE AS AN EMERGENCY MEASURE.

ONE FLIP, AND IT'S ALL GONE.

- I HAVE TO DO IT, MR. JAMESON.

NOBODY CAN KNOW THE ONE TIME

I LOOKED AT ONE PHOTO OF A REAL NAKED LADY ON THE INTERNET.

- THAT'S IT?

THAT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, MARTIN.

- I LOOKED AT A BUTT TOO.

- IT'S OKAY. EVERYONE LOOKS AT BUTTS.

- WE LOOK AT BUTTS ALL THE TIME.

- YOUR MOM HAS LOOKED AT BUTTS.

- NO, SHE DIDN'T.

SHE DIDN'T LOOK AT A BUTT.

- SHE WIPED YOUR BUTT WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD AND--

- I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. LISTEN TO ME.

- IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, MARTIN.

- BYE-BYE, AOL.

- NOT AOL.

- BYE-BYE, INTERNET.

- TRANQ HIM.

- NO.

- MARTIN!

- BETTER BE SAFE.

- WHOA.

YOU SHOT HIM?

- DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE ANY CHANCES.

OKAY, VINTON. COME ON.

LET'S GET YOU HOME, BUDDY, SAFE AND SOUND.

- WAIT.

- VINTON!

- WHAT IS HE DOING?

- I'VE WANTED TO SAY THIS SINCE 1973.

THE INTERNET WAS A MISTAKE.

I CREATED THIS SWITCH.

AND IT'S MY CHOICE TO USE IT. - OH, NO.

- THE LORD GIVETH, AND THE LORD TAKETH--

- VINT! - NO!

[internet powers down]

[birds chirping]

- YEAH! - WE'RE FREE!

all: WE'RE FREE!

WE'RE FREE!

[upbeat dance music]

*

- WE'RE FREE!

- WOO-HOO!

- YOU GUYS ARE MY FAVORITE BASTARDS.

- I USED TO THINK YOU WERE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE.

BUT EVER SINCE YOU SHUT DOWN THE NET,

YOU'VE BECOME A PRETTY AWESOME BASTARD.

[laughter]

- OH, MY GOD. IT CAN'T BE.

- IT IS I, BEN HAMISH, CREATOR OF THOSE STARWARS FILMS.

all: WHOA.

- MAY THE ENERGIES BE WITH YOU ALL, YOU BASTARDS.

BUT AS FOR THE FORCE, KEEP THAT CLOSE BY AS WELL.

- NO, VINT. JUST ENJOY IT.

[gunfire]

[fanfare]

*

- ABSO-LUTELY.