Original subtitles

- FRESHY'S BURGERS WANTS TO KNOW,

WHAT'S YOUR FRESHY STYLE?

- I EAT MINE ON THE GO.

- I EAT MINE AT THE OFFICE.

AND I TELL MY COWORKERS, "STEP AWAY FROM THE FRESHY."

- GO ONLINE NOW AND LET US KNOW,

HOW DO YOU FRESHY?

- OH, NICE!

- THEY WANT TO KNOW HOW WE FRESHY?

THIS RULES!

- GUYS, WE GOT TO DO IT.

WE GOT TO TELL 'EM HOW WE FRESHY.

- US? YOU THINK SO? OKAY.

- THIS IS AWESOME! - OKAY.

[upbeat music]

- I EAT MY FRESHY'S TWO AT A TIME.

- I EAT MY FRESHY IN SECRET.

- I JUST EAT IT THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY.

- OH, MY GOSH. OH, MY DANG.

- THAT SUITS ME JUST FINE.

- I LET THE FRESHY TO COME TO ME.

[upbeat music]

[laughs]

- OH. - OH, AWESOME!

- THAT WAS SO FUN. - YEAH, MAN.

- THE BEST. - NO, SERIOUSLY...

THAT WAS REALLY, REALLY FUN. - YEAH.

- WE SHOULD CALL AND LET THEM KNOW.

- YEAH. - ALL RIGHT.

[indistinct conversations]

[telephone rings]

- HELLO?

- BEN, I HAVE A MITCH, DAVE, JEFF,

CHRIS, AND MATT CALLING FOR YOU.

APPARENTLY THEY LIKE THE NEW SOCIAL-MARKETING CAMPAIGN.

- YOU MEAN HOW DO YOU FRESHY?

- THAT WAS YOURS, RIGHT? - YEAH, THAT WAS ME.

YOU--YEAH, YOU-- YOU CAN CONNECT ME, SURE.

YEAH. - ONE MOMENT.

- HI. IS THIS BEN STEENBURGEN?

- YES, THIS IS BEN. HI.

- IT'S HIM. - HEY, BEN...

WE WERE JUST CALLING TO TELL YOU

THAT WE REALLY LOVE YOUR COMMERCIAL.

- WELL, THANK YOU. UM, YEAH, YOU KNOW,

I ACTUALLY DON'T REALLY GET TO DO THOSE TOO OFTEN,

BUT MY BOSSES LET ME RUN WITH IT, AND I WORKED REALLY HARD,

AND IT WAS SO FUN. - WE LIKE IT

BECAUSE IT LETS US FRESHY'S CUSTOMERS

LET YOU GUYS KNOW HOW WE FRESHY. - YEAH.

- YEAH, THAT'S THE WHOLE THING. IT'S LIKE NOW YOU HAVE A VOICE.

- YEAH, IT'S-- IT'S INTERACTIVE.

- YEAH. - EXACTLY, YEAH.

WE WANTED IT TO BE INTERACTIVE, YEAH.

- WELL, WE JUST WANT TO SAY, YOU GO, BEN...

- YEAH. - AND HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.

- YOU TOO. HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.

YOU GUYS GO, TOO. - BYE, BEN.

- BYE. - BYE, BEN.

- OKAY, BYE.

- I REALLY HOPE THAT GUY BEN IS PROUD OF HIS WORK.

- HE'S SUCH A COOL GUY.

[line trilling]

- HELLO. - HEY, MOM. IT'S BEN.

- OH, BENNY. - WORK'S PRETTY GOOD.

- [gasps] OH? - YEAH, ACTUALLY, UH,

THIS NEW SOCIAL-MARKETING CAMPAIGN I'VE BEEN WORKING ON,

IT'S GETTING SOME PRETTY GOOD FEEDBACK.

- THAT'S WONDERFUL, BENNY.

SO THAT EXPENSIVE EDUCATION

WAS REALLY WORTH IT, WASN'T IT? - [laughing] I GUESS SO.

- I'VE GOT TO GO, HONEY. I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR JOB.

- BYE, MOM. I LOVE YOU. - LOVE YOU, SWEETHEART.

[smooches] KISS, KISS.

[triumphant music]

- OKAY, AND HERE WE GO.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME NICOLE TOMPKINS.

TWO, TWO, TWO.

- * HEY, YOU OVER THERE

* I LIKE YOUR STYLE, I LIKE YOUR HAIR *

* I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YA

* SO LET'S GO GET A SODA

all: YEAH! - * I REALLY DIG YA, BABY

all: YEAH! - * I SAW YOU LOOKIN' AT ME

* YOU JUST MIGHT BE THE ONE

* SO LET'S HAVE FUN WHILE WE'RE YOUNG *

- [laughs]

OH...

HEY, YEAH!

WOW, NICOLE, YOU ARE A VERY GOOD CELEBRITY GUEST.

[laughter] - CELEBRITY GUEST?

- MM-HMM. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I'M NOT FAMOUS. - WHAT?

- OH! - COME ON!

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME? - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- KIDS! KIDS, GRAB YOUR COATS. WE'RE GOING TO THE MOVIES.

- YAY! - YEAH!

- WHAT ARE WE SEEING, HON? - THE SHWORVELS.

- WHAT? - THEY MADE A SHWORVELS MOVIE.

- THE SHWORVELS?

- DADDY GREW UP ON THE SHWORVELS. THEY'RE GREAT.

THERE'S PAPA SHWORVEL AND SHWORVETTE AND THE MAGIC GARDEN.

COME ON, GET IN THE CAR, YOU GUYS.

- DADDY'S EXCITED. - YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

IT'S THE HAPPIEST I'VE BEEN IN YEARS.

[mellow music]

[electronic beeping]

[upbeat dance music]

*

- ALL RIGHT, SHWORVELS, YOU CAN LIVE WITH ME.

- YEAH! THANKS, DAVE. - DO THE SHWORV.

- BUT STAY OUT OF MY WAY TONIGHT.

I GOT TO PLAN THE BOSS'S WEDDING.

- SURE THING, DAVE.

[laughter]

- COME ON, GIVE ME A KISS, SHWORVETTE.

- OH, SUAVE SHWORVEL. [smooching]

- DO THE SHWORV. * DO IT, DO IT

* DO THE SHWORV

- SHWORVETTE WAS ADORABLE. - I KNOW.

- OH, AND THEN HER WISH FOR-- - I KNOW!

- THEY RUINED IT. THEY RUINED THE SHWORVELS.

JACK BLACK AS DAVE FILMORE? COME ON.

- HONEY, IT'S FOR KIDS. - YEAH, BUT, LIKE,

IT ACTUALLY USED TO BE GOOD. REMEMBER THE ORIGINAL SHWORVELS?

JOHN ALLISON'S SHWORVELS?

- I GUESS I DIDN'T REALLY WATCH IT AS MUCH AS YOU DID.

- WE GOT THE NEW HIT FROM THE SHWORVELS MOVIE

IT'S D.K. BARRELL WITH DO THE SHWORV.

- * DO IT, DO IT, DO, DO THE SHWORV *

- QUIET! STOP DOING THE SHWORV!

IT'S A MADE-UP SONG ANYWAY! IT WASN'T IN THE ORIGINAL!

[engine turning over]

[echoing] DAMN IT!

KIDS, YOU WANT TO SEE THE SHWORVELS?

THESE ARE THE REAL SHWORVELS.

ALL RIGHT. YEAH, THERE WE GO. GET RID OF THAT.

HERE WE GO.

[whimsical music]

- AH, SORRY, GUYS, I FELL ASLEEP ON THE HOSE AGAIN.

all: OH! - LAZY!

- [laughs]

- WITHOUT WATER, HOW WILL THE MAGIC GARDEN GROW?

- LAZY... HE FELL ASLEEP.

HE FELL ASLEEP ON THE HOSE. [laughs]

- WHEN ARE THEY GONNA DO THE SHWORV?

- BOTH OF YOU,

GO TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW.

GO! GO!

- WHAT A "SHWORVARIFIC" DAY. - HONEY, YOU DO THIS

EVERY TIME THEY REMAKE SOMETHING FROM THE '80s.

- I WOULDN'T IF THEY MADE IT GOOD.

THEY SAM PATCHED IT.

- WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

- YEAH.

[doorbell rings]

- HELLO?

- WELL, IF IT ISN'T JACK BLACK.

- HOW DID YOU GET MY ADDRESS? - SO I GOT TO ASK.

DO YOU THINK THE NEW SHWORVELS IS AS GOOD AS THE ORIGINAL?

- WELL, BETWEEN YOU AND ME, I HAVEN'T SEEN THE ORIGINAL.

[chuckles] - WHAT?

YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THE ORIGINAL SHWORVELS?

THEN HOW DO YOU THINK YOU CAN MEASURE UP TO PHILLIP DALTON?

- WHO'S PHILLIP DALTON? - WHO'S PHILLIP DALTON?

HE'S THE ORIGINAL DAVE FILMORE.

- WHO'S DAVE FILMORE?

- WHAT?

THAT'S THE CHARACTER YOU PLAY IN THE MOVIE!

- LOOK, SOMETIMES WE DO THE BIG STUDIO FILM FOR THE BIG PAYCHECK

THAT WE DON'T REALLY LIKE SO THAT LATER

WE CAN DO THE THINGS WE'RE REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT,

LIKE, YOU KNOW, DEEP-CABLE SKETCH-COMEDY SHOWS.

YOU KNOW THAT OLD SAYING--

ONE FOR THEM, ONE FOR YOU.

WELL, THIS IS ONE FOR THEM. - ONE FOR THEM?

THE SHWORVELS AREN'T ONE FOR THEM

OR ONE FOR YOU.

THEY'RE ONE FOR ME. THEY'RE ONE FOR ME!

- YOU'RE SCARING ME. NO! UNHAND ME!

- AAH!

ONE FOR ME! - AAH! THAT'S ASSAULT.

OH, GREAT. I'VE GOT LEAVES IN MY HAIR.

- THIS IS AWESOME! all: YEAH!

- YOU GUYS ARE ALL MAKING VIDEOS.

[echoing] THAT'S--THAT'S COOL.

- I EAT MY FRESHY IN SECRET.

- HOW DO I FRESHY?

- I JUST EAT IT THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY.

- ONE, TWO. - [laughs]

- THEY DON'T NEED ME HERE.

I FRESHY IN FRENCH.

I FRESHY IN A HOT TUB. I MEAN--

WELL, I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A HOT TUB, SO THAT WON'T WORK.

I DON'T FRESHY. THE FRESHY FRESHES ME.

YEAH, THAT'S GOOD, BUT IT'S--IT'S NOT REALLY TRUE.

I FRESHY WITH OR ON A HORSE.

HOW DO I FRESHY?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

I FRESHY WITH MY GRANDPARENTS. HOW DO I FRESHY?

[overlapping statements]

HOW DO I FRESHY?

DAMN!

- THE TOYS! THE TOYS! THE TOYS!

THIS SUMMER, THE SHWORVELS ARE TAKING OVER FRESHY'S.

- I WANT ME SOME FRESHY. - COME ON DOWN TO FRESHY'S

AND GET ONE OF SEVEN SHWORVEL ACTION FIGURES

WITH EVERY FRESHY KID'S MEAL. THERE'S...

SOCIAL SHWORVEL AND HIS PHONE,

AND THE MAGIC DIRT.

SO SEE THE MOVIE, THEN TELL US,

HOW DO YOU FRESHY?

- I FRESHY WHILE DOING THE SHWORV.

- THE SHWORVELS IN THEATERS NOW.

- [burps]

- HEY, YOU KNOW, IT FEELS PRETTY GOOD TO HAVE THE BAND

BACK TOGETHER, RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE IF YOU REMEMBER THIS ONE, HUH?

* YOU SAY YOU WANNA GO WITH ME *

* YOU SAY YOU WANNA GO, WELL, ALL RIGHT *

* WELL, ALL RIGHT

ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU HELP ME OUT ON THIS ONE?

EVERYBODY!

* I GOT A HOT DATE WHO LISTENS TO ME *

* SHE SAID SHE WANT TO GO WITH *

[feedback whines]

* WELL, ALL RIGHT

ALL RIGHT, HERE COMES THE NEXT VERSE, YOU READY?

* I HEARD A BANG ON MY FLOOR *

* IT WAS THE LITTLE LADY WHO LIVES NEXT *

* I SAID SO SORRY TO [feedback whines]

* SHE SAID, "OOH, BOY, JUST SAVE YOUR" *

- SELF!

- THE WORD IS "BREATH." all: OH.

- COME ON. OKAY.

* YOU AND

ME! * YOU AND

all: YOU?

- NO! ME!

* WELL, ALL RIGHT

ALL RIGHT. COME ON.

[sighs] SORRY, GUYS.

WE REALLY SAM PATCHED THAT ONE, HUH?

- NOW PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE, MY MAN,

PARKER VAN DELL.

[cheers and applause]

- ARE YOU PEOPLE READY TO ROCK? [cheers and applause]

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!

[rock music]

all: * GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE TO PUT MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH *

* GIVE ME THE TIME TO GET ONE IN THE DOOR *

* BABY, TAKE ME BACK BEFORE YOU LOCK UP THAT LATCH *

* AND I'LL NEVER WALK OUT AGAIN *

- OH, VERY NICE!

*

all: * LAST TIME I LEFT, I MADE IT FIVE SECONDS *

* BEFORE I TURNED MY CAR RIGHT BACK AROUND *

* YOU WANTED ME, THAT MUCH WAS TRUE *

* SOMETIMES THE LION BOWS FOR THE CLOWN *

*

- * BABY, TAKE ME BACK BEFORE YOU LOCK UP THAT LATCH *

* AND I'LL NEVER WALK OUT AGAIN *

- YOU GUYS SOUND GREAT. - HEY, THANKS.

- WE AIN'T DONE YET.

*

- HOW LONG WILL THEY PLAY? - I DON'T KNOW, A COUPLE HOURS.

I THREW A FEW BALLADS IN THERE.

WE'RE GONNA HIT THE MUSEUM AND GET BACK HERE

IN TIME TO GET LAID.

all: * I'LL NEVER WALK OUT AGAIN

* I'LL NEVER WALK OUT AGAIN

- * I'LL NEVER WALK OUT AGAIN

[feedback whines]

- [clears throat] A LITTLE QUIET, PLEASE.

ALL RIGHT, THIS ONE'S CALLED SALTY DREAMS.

[rock music]

OW!

* YEAH

[classical piano music]

*

- ...HAMBURGER ON A FISHING POLE THERE...

[knock on door]

- MIKE? - OH, HEY, DAVE. HI.

- HEY, MAN. - HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD. I JUST FIGURED I'D CHECK IN.

NO ONE HEARD FROM YOU IN A WHILE.

- YEAH, YEAH. - WE MISSED YOU

AT CHRIS' WEDDING TOO. - RIGHT.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO WALK HIM DOWN THE AISLE, WASN'T I?

- SOME OF THE GUYS AND I WERE JOKING AROUND

THAT MAYBE YOU WERE STILL WORKING ON YOUR FRESHY'S IDEA.

- YEAH, NO. I'VE BEEN KICKING AROUND A FEW IDEAS

BUT NOTHING TOO BIG. - WAIT. WHAT?

- ER, NO. I WAS.

BEFORE, I WAS. I SENT MINE IN, LIKE...

- RIGHT. - DAYS AGO.

HAVE YOU HEARD BACK, BY THE WAY? - HEARD BACK?

- I WONDER WHAT THEY LIKE.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT FRESHY'S WANTS FROM US.

- I DON'T KNOW, MAN. - YEAH.

- I MEAN, YOU CAN CALL BEN STEENBURGEN

OVER AT FRESHY'S, BUT... - NO, I'M NOT GONNA--

THAT'S STUPID. ALL RIGHT, DAVE, THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING BY.

I'M ACTUALLY RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

- OH. - I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL

BEN STEENBURGEN. OKAY.

- HEY, BEN, TWO WEEKS IN,

AND HOW DO YOU FRESHY'S? IS STILL ON TOP.

[telephone ringing] - OH!

- WELL, CHIEF, WE'LL LEAVE YOU TO YOUR BUSINESS.

- OKAY. THANKS, GUYS.

ASSISTANT SOCIAL MARKETING CORRESPONDENT

BEN STEENBURGEN SPEAKING. - HI. THIS IS MIKE.

I GOT A QUESTION ABOUT HOW DO YOU FRESHY?

- OH, YEAH, SHOOT. WHAT DO YOU GOT?

- WHAT ARE YOU GUYS LOOKING FOR EXACTLY?

I MEAN, FRESHY ISN'T A VERB REALLY.

- UM, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YEAH, OF COURSE IT IS. I MEAN, WE ALL FRESHY, RIGHT?

FRESHY IS A WAY OF LIFE. IT'S AN ATTITUDE.

- YEAH, WELL, I CAN'T REALLY COME UP WITH ANYTHING.

I FEEL LIKE A REAL SAM PATCH OVER HERE.

- THIS IS KIND OF A LOT TO TAKE IN ALL AT ONCE.

DO YOU WANT TO MEET UP FOR A DRINK AND TALK ABOUT THIS?

- YOU GUYS ARE IN CHICAGO, RIGHT? I'M IN SAN JOSE.

I CAN'T REALLY JUST MEET UP

UNTIL, LIKE, 7:00, IF THAT WORKS.

- OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

MAN, I THOUGHT I'D COME UP WITH THE PERFECT AD CAMPAIGN,

YOU KNOW?

THOUGHT I WAS A GOLDEN GOOSE.

TURNS OUT I'M NOTHING MORE THAN A YANKEE LEAPER.

HERE...

BROUGHT THESE FROM WORK, MY TREAT.

- THANKS. YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN ABLE

TO HANDLE EVERY BIG AD CAMPAIGN THAT'S COME MY WAY--

TASTY FRUITS RACE FOR THE TASTE. - HMM.

- WENDELL'S CHICKEN WING LOVE STORIES.

- OH. - I EVEN WON

THE CHEWY CHEWS DOUGHNUT DANCE-OFF CONTEST.

- NO SHIT? - GOD.

- HEY, WHO WAS YOUR CONTACT OVER AT CHEW?

- BRIAN PORNEESHUS. - PORNEESHUS IS THE MAN.

- OH, HE'S GREAT. HE REMINDS ME OF YOU.

- AH!

- BUT THIS FRESHY'S CAMPAIGN, GOD, I JUST...

I COULDN'T CRACK THIS ONE.

- UM, MIKE...

WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING THERE?

- OH, UH...

I LIKE TO FLIP THE BUNS AROUND. - MM-HMM.

- GUESS I'M KIND OF UNIQUE THAT WAY.

- MM-HMM. WOULD YOU SAY

THAT'S HOW YOU FRESHY?

- UH, YEAH, BEN, I GUESS THIS--

THIS IS HOW I FRESHY.

I LIKE TO FLIP THEM BUNS AND CHOW IT DOWN!

MMM. [laughs]

[mouse clicking rapidly] - WE GOT IT!

HE FRESHY'D!

- SHWORVELS USED TO BE GOOD, AND NOW THE MAGIC'S GONE.

[sighs]

[dreamy music]

*

- NOT A FAN OF THE NEW MOVIE, HUH?

- JOHN ALLISON, CREATOR OF THE SHWORVELS.

BUT YOU--YOU'RE DEAD. - ONLY IN BODY, MY FRIEND.

LIKE THE GREAT MEMBERS OF THE SHWORVEL ELDER TRIBE,

MY SPIRIT LIVES ON. - UH-HUH.

- OH, MY GOD. - THE SHWORVELS

MEANT A LOT TO ME. THEY HAD HEART.

THEY CAN'T SAY THAT ABOUT EVERYTHING THESE DAYS.

BUT YOU'RE OLD NOW.

YOU'RE ALL GROWN UP WITH IDEAS OF YOUR OWN.

GO MAKE YOUR SHWORVELS.

- ME, MAKE A SHWORVELS MOVIE?

- NO, MAKE THE NEXT SHWORVELS, YOU KNOW?

- ME, REBOOT THE SHWORVELS FRANCHISE?

- YOU'RE NOT LISTENING. I'M A SPIRIT, AND MY TIME IS LIMIT--

- GOOD-BYE, SPIRIT. IF THE SPIRIT OF JOHN ALLISON

WANTS ME TO MAKE THE SHWORVELS GOOD AGAIN,

THAT'S JUST WHAT I'LL DO. - NO!

- [mumbling] THE MAGIC GARDEN...

[groans]

- WHAT'S HE DOING? - HE'S WRITING SOMETHING.

- FOUND A POODLE...

- HMM. - AMERICA?

THE MAGIC GARDEN IS IN BETWEEN WORLDS.

IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER ANYWAY.

- HI. UH, WE'RE THE DOOVERS.

WE'VE LIVED IN THE WALLS OF THIS HOUSE FOR--

- SHH. NOT NOW, WORKING.

- WHAT YOU WORKING ON?

- SHWORVELS MOVIE.

- WHAT'S A SHWORVEL? - THEY'RE SMALL

MAGICAL CREATURES. YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND, OKAY?

- WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN MAKE SOMETHING OF YOUR OWN.

- YEAH, SOMETHING NEW AND ORIGINAL.

- [groans]

HOLD ON A SECOND.

WHAT DID YOU GUYS SAY YOU WERE?

- DOOVERS. - DOOVERS.

- HEY, THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA,

A BRAND-NEW, ORIGINAL IDEA.

AHH.

[cheers and applause]

- I DID IT.

- YEAH, ALL RIGHT. DOOVY.

- YEAH!

[upbeat dance music]

*

- ALL RIGHT, SHWORVELS, YOU CAN LIVE WITH ME.

- YEAH. THANKS, DAVE. - WHAT A "SHWORVARIFIC" DAY.

- BUT STAY OUT OF MY WAY TONIGHT.

I GOT TO BE PLANNING MY BOSS'S WEDDING.

OH, NO, NOT DOOVERS.

- DO THE DOOV. - DO IT, DO IT, DO IT.

- WHOA, THAT WAS BAD.

SORRY, EVERYBODY. I SAM PATCHED THAT ONE.

- WELL, AT LEAST YOU GOT IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM.

- YEAH. - HEY! YOU REMEMBER ME?

- WHAT THE HECK? IT'S JACK BLACK.

- HEY, NERD ARMY, THAT'S THE GUY WHO RUINED THE SHWORVELS.

- GET HIM! - NOPE!

- GET HIS KIDS. [all yelling]

[children screaming]

- NOT MY KIDS!

- HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?

THAT'S HOW I FRESHY!

- [laughs]

- ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO PISS. HEY, I FEEL FANTASTIC.

THIS MUST BE HOW YOU FELT

WHEN YOU FIGURED OUT HOW YOU FRESHY'D.

WHOO!

- HOW I FRESHY?

OH, NO.

[piano music]

- BEN? BEN STEENBURGEN FROM FRESHY'S?

BOY, A LOT HAS HAPPENED SINCE I SAW YOU LAST.

I STARTED MY OWN BUSINESS. I GOT TWO SONS.

THEY'RE OVER THERE ON THE--CAYDEN!

- AAH!

- THEY'RE OVER THERE ON THE SWINGS ACTING LIKE ANIMALS.

WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHAT'S--WHAT'S--WHAT'S NEW?

- WELL, I QUIT THAT JOB.

FELT LIKE A FRAUD, SO I LEFT.

HAVEN'T WORKED SINCE.

HAVEN'T REALLY DONE ANYTHING SINCE.

HAVEN'T GONE ANYWHERE. HAVEN'T TALKED TO ANYBODY.

HAVEN'T CHANGED MY SUIT. - OH.

- I GUESS YOU COULD SAY MY LIFE TOOK A BIG YANKEE LEAP.

- HEY, BOYS. - DAD, WHO'S THAT?

- [sighs]

THAT'S NO ONE, HONEY, OKAY? WHY DON'T WE GO?

WELL, BEN, GREAT TO SEE YA. WE'RE GONNA GO.

NO, NO, NO, NO. JUST--JUST LEAVE IT.

JUST--THAT'S OKAY. - JUST LEAVE THE SCOOTER?

- YEAH, WE'LL GET A WHOLE BUNCH MORE. COME ON.

- [sighs]

[melancholy music]

*

[crying]

- GUESS THAT'S HOW YOU FRESHY, HUH?

- EXCUSE ME? - OH, YOU KNOW...

REMEMBER THOSE-- THOSE OLD COMMERCIALS?

THAT'S HOW YOU EAT YOUR BURGER.

YOU PUT WHISKEY ON IT, AND THEN YOU SIT THERE,

ALONE, SAD, CRYING, NOBODY TO TALK TO.

IT'S PATHETIC, BUT THAT'S HOW YOU FRESHY.

- I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU KNOW,

YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A TIME THAT THAT WOULD HAVE MEANT

A LOT TO ME.

BUT IT'S TOO LATE TO MATTER NOW.

[melancholy music]

*

[dramatic music]

- FUN MONSTER-TRUCK RALLY, HUH, BOYS?

- YEAH. - CAN'T BELIEVE THAT

DERRIK KARVIL JUMPED 14 BUSES ON HIS DIRT BIKE.

PRETTY GOOD, PRETTY GOOD. HE'S NO SAM PATCH,

BUT HE'S PRETTY GOOD. - WHO'S SAM PATCH?

[tires screeching]

- WHO'S SAM PATCH?

RIGHT HERE, COME ON.

IN, IN, IN, IN. CAYDEN, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS.

SAM PATCH WAS AN AMERICAN FOLK HERO.

LOOK AT THIS PLACE. THIS IS WHERE SAM PATCH ATE.

THIS IS WHERE SAM PATCH KEPT ALL OF HIS BOTTLES EMPTY OR NOT.

THIS IS WHERE SAM PATCH BAKED.

[Yankee Doodle Dandy playing]

HERE, LET'S WATCH THE VIDEO. THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.

- WHO'S SAM PATCH?

KNOWN AS "THE YANKEE LEAPER," SAM PATCH ENTERTAINED CROWDS

BY JUMPING OFF HIGH PLATFORMS AND WATERFALLS.

HE EVENTUALLY DIED IN ROCHESTER, NEW YORK,

ON ONE OF HIS FAMOUS YANKEE LEAPS.

- NOW, THAT'S SAM PATCH FOR YOU.

- SAM PATCH SUCKS.

- WELL, OF COURSE HE SUCKS, NOW.

BUT IN THE 1820s, HE WAS A BIG DEAL.

YOU SEE, BOYS, EVERYTHING THAT'S NEW AND COOL

WILL EVENTUALLY BECOME

ACTUALLY PRETTY SHITTY.

- SO YOU MEAN LIKE THAT NEW MOVIE,

THE SHWORVELS MEET THE DOOVERS MEET THE TWERBLIES 3?

- ARE YOU INSANE?

THAT MOVIE ROCKS THE HOUSE. SDT3 IS HERE TO STAY.

OH, I'M DOING THE SHWORV.

BOYS, MY POINT IS THIS,

WHEN A NEW FAD COMES ALONG, EVERYONE LOVES TO JUMP ON BOARD.

- OH, LIKE THE OLD HOW DO YOU FRESHY? CAMPAIGN

YOU WERE TELLING US ABOUT.

- WHAT? HOW DO YOU FRESHY? IS GENIUS.

THEY OUGHT TO BRING THAT BACK. HELL, IT WORKED ON ME.

OH! - YEAH!

both: WE LIKE TO FLIP THEM BUNS AND CHOW IT DOWN!

[growling]

- CAN'T GET ENOUGH BIRTHDAY BOYS?

HOP ONLINE NOW FOR EXTRA DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT.

AND WHILE YOU'RE THERE, DON'T FORGET TO TELL US

HOW YOU BIRTHDAY.

[upbeat electronic music]

- THIS IS AWESOME.

- AB-SO-LUTELY.