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1
00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:05,639
[uplifting music]
2
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:09,639
♪ ♪
3
00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:13,513
- ♪ ACROSS THE NATION ♪
4
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:17,554
♪ AROUND THE WORLD ♪
5
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:20,751
♪ WHEREVER YOU GO ♪
6
00:00:20,755 --> 00:00:24,585
♪ WHOEVER YOU KNOW ♪
7
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:26,692
♪ PEOPLE ♪
8
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:32,334
♪ THEY'RE EVERYWHERE ♪
9
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:36,243
♪ IN THE CROWDED STREETS ♪
10
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:40,267
♪ AND THE FIELDS OF WHEAT ♪
11
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:43,444
♪ FROM UNIVERSITIES ♪
12
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:47,614
♪ TO THE SHINING SEA ♪
13
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:48,575
♪ THE PUBLIC ♪
14
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:54,722
♪ WE GOT
A REAL DUMB PUBLIC ♪
15
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:55,552
HI, FOLKS.
16
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,286
YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN
ALL AROUND THE WORLD.
17
00:00:58,292 --> 00:00:59,732
AND I MET A LOT OF PEOPLE.
18
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,257
AND FOR THE MOST PART,
19
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:04,432
THEY'RE A BUNCH
OF DUMB ASSHOLES.
20
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,072
♪ DUMB PUBLIC ♪
21
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:10,437
♪ WE GOT A REAL DUMB PUBLIC ♪
- UHH! UHH!
22
00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:12,738
- ♪ OH, YES, THE PUBLIC ♪
23
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:19,340
♪ IS A BUNCH OF IDIOTS ♪
24
00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:28,094
[upbeat music]
25
00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:36,399
♪ ♪
26
00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:40,772
- CHEERS.
27
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:44,098
[tense music]
28
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:47,565
♪ ♪
29
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:50,435
- THREE WHISKEYS.
30
00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:58,620
- E-EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN.
31
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:03,289
BUT, UH, ARE YOU...COWBOYS?
32
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:05,664
- YES, SIR.
33
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,289
- WELL, I'LL BE.
34
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,634
WE'VE NEVER MET
ANY REAL COWBOYS BEFORE.
35
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,300
- WHAT'S IT LIKE
BEING A COWBOY?
36
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:16,669
DO YOU FIGHT
A LOT OF INDIANS?
37
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:17,800
- NOPE.
38
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,435
- OH.
39
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,470
- SAY, HAVE YOU EVER
LASSOED MAN?
40
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,835
YOU KNOW,
DRAGGED HIM THROUGH TOWN?
41
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:24,914
- [spits]
42
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:26,852
NOPE.
- OH.
43
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,277
- WELL, HOW ABOUT
ROBBIN' BANKS,
44
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,822
OR FIRING OFF TRICK SHOTS
WITH YOUR SIX-SHOOTER,
45
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,848
OR CHALLENGING GUNSLINGERS?
46
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,693
YOU EVER DO ANY OF THOSE?
47
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:38,458
- NOPE. NOT A ONE.
48
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:41,189
- WELL, WHAT DO YOU DO?
49
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:43,825
- WELL, MAINLY...
50
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:47,601
WE CLEAN UP COW SHIT.
51
00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:51,198
- WHAT?
- WE'RE COWBOYS.
52
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:54,535
SO OUR JOB IS TO CLEAN UP
AFTER THE COWS.
53
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:57,742
- LEADING COWS AROUND
FROM ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER,
54
00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:59,775
FEEDING GRASS TO COWS,
55
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,410
BRUSHING COWS'
TAILS AND HIDES.
56
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:05,846
AND IF ONE OF THEM SHITS
WHERE IT AIN'T SUPPOSED TO,
57
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,193
CLEANIN' UP COW SHIT.
58
00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:09,789
I'M SORRY, BUT I ALWAYS
HAD THIS IMAGE
59
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:12,860
OF COWBOYS FIGHTING
AND SHOOTING AND KILLING.
60
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:16,860
- WELL, MY FRIEND...
61
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:20,374
THOSE ACTIVITIES ARE
OUTSIDE OF OUR JOB DESCRIPTION.
62
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,867
- I SUPPOSE SOME COWBOYS
DO ALL THAT STUFF,
63
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:27,411
BUT THEN THEY PROBABLY
AIN'T DOING A VERY GOOD JOB
64
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,938
OF TAKING CARE OF THEIR COWS.
[laughs]
65
00:03:29,944 --> 00:03:32,384
- DAMN FOOLS.
[chuckles]
66
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,809
- JUST THINK OF
ALL THE COW SHIT
67
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,324
THEY'RE NEGLECTING TO CLEAN UP.
[laughs]
68
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:39,847
- THEY PROBABLY EVEN FORGET
TO WIPE THE COWS' BUTTS.
69
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:43,693
- DID HE SAY
"WIPING COWS' BUTTS?"
70
00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:46,227
- MY NAME IS BLACK DRAKE.
71
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,787
I RODE 92 MILES
TO KILL YOUR SHERIFF
72
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,556
AND KIDNAP YOUR DAUGHTERS.
73
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,404
IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH THAT,
74
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,929
WE CAN MEET OUT IN THE STREET.
75
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,696
[door opens]
76
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:00,866
- [sighs]
77
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:04,644
- WE KNOW WHAT WE GOTTA DO.
78
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:15,854
- LOOK, THERE'S BLACK DRAKE
79
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:16,886
OUT IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE STREET,
80
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:19,320
BUT WHERE ARE THOSE COWBOYS?
81
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:22,326
- OH, THERE THEY ARE,
THERE.
82
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,999
THEY'RE WIPING
THAT COW'S BUTT.
83
00:04:24,999 --> 00:04:25,929
[cow moos]
84
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,933
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
85
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,996
- WE'RE WIPING
THIS COW'S BUTT.
86
00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:34,505
- AREN'T YOU GUYS
GONNA DUEL BLACK DRAKE?
87
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,508
- HELL NO.
HE'D SHOOT US.
88
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:40,510
- IT'S OUTSIDE
OF OUR JOB DESCRIPTION.
89
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:44,981
- DID YOU SEE WHAT
THEM THERE--THERE DID?
90
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:45,915
WEIRD.
91
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,789
- WHY ARE YOU WIPING
THAT COW'S BUTT ANYWAY?
92
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:53,029
IT'S A COW,
JUST LET IT SHIT.
93
00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:58,925
- MISTER,
WHAT YOU JUST SAID,
94
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:01,072
IT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE.
95
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:03,638
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
96
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,997
[flies buzzing]
97
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:08,365
[sniffs]
98
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,605
- OH, GROSS.
99
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:11,941
UGH.
100
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,645
[door opens]
101
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:14,507
- HE'S LEAVIN'.
102
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,575
- YOU DID IT.
YOU SAVED US.
103
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:18,983
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT,
BUT YOU SAVED US.
104
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:22,886
- YEAH, IT WAS SO WEIRD
AND SO GROSS AND SO DUMB,
105
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:25,860
THAT YOU SAVED US
FROM BLACK DRAKE.
106
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,729
- YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.
107
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,859
[door opens]
108
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:35,498
- THOSE ARE THREE DUMB SHITS.
109
00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:40,440
[whip cracks]
110
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:51,020
- IN LATE 1929,
A YOUNG ANIMATOR
111
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,778
WITH DREAMS OF STARDOM
TOILED AWAY
112
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:56,556
IN A SMALL ANIMATION STUDIO
IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.
113
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,387
WORKING LATE
INTO THE NIGHT,
114
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,462
HE STUMBLED UPON A DESIGN
FOR A NEW CHARACTER
115
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:03,961
TO STAR IN HIS LATEST
LOW-BUDGET CARTOON--
116
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:06,534
A SMALL CRUDELY DRAWN RODENT
117
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:09,573
WITH AN UNFORGETTABLE SMILE.
118
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,970
THAT ANIMATOR, OF COURSE,
119
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:15,711
WAS NONE OTHER
THAN GLANARD FRUGNER--
120
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,809
THE WORST ANIMATOR
OF ALL TIME.
121
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:23,882
AND THAT CHARACTER,
WELL, THAT WAS [bleep],
122
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,854
THE WEIRD DEAD MOLE.
123
00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:28,453
OVER THE YEARS,
FRUGNER WOULD GO ON
124
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:30,855
TO CREATE
DOZENS MORE CHARACTERS,
125
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:32,458
NONE OF THEM BELOVED.
126
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:36,029
THERE WAS TINY,
THE SMALL, SMALL, SMALLY.
127
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,999
SCARY, THE KILLER MURDERER.
128
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:42,029
STINK, THE BAD HAIRCUT.
129
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,895
HENRY HUMAN.
130
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,774
NOTHING,
THE INVISIBLE AIR.
131
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:50,144
LUNCH, AND TAXES.
132
00:06:50,144 --> 00:06:54,954
NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS
EVER RECEIVED ANY ACCLAIM,
133
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,548
NOR SHOULD THEY HAVE.
134
00:06:57,551 --> 00:07:02,491
GLANARD'S FILMS
CAPTURED NO HEARTS.
135
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:03,519
- AAH!
136
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,024
- GLANARD HAD DREAMS
OF EXPANDING
137
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,785
THE WORLD OF HIS CHARACTERS,
BY ERECTING
138
00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:08,794
THEME PARKS
IN ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA,
139
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:11,196
AND ORLANDO, FLORIDA.
140
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,958
HE NEVER DID.
141
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,696
AND NOW WE LEAVE YOU
WITH GLANARD'S
142
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:17,101
NEVER HONORED,
NON-CLASSIC SONG
143
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:20,744
"WHEN YOU WISH
UPON THE GROUND."
144
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,130
- HELLO!
145
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,503
- WOW, WHAT A TUNE.
146
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,202
HI, FOLKS.
I'M ALEX WINCHELLS,
147
00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:51,874
CHAIRMAN AND CFO.
148
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:54,872
OH, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
149
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,975
HI, [bleep],
HOW ARE YOU?
150
00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:00,679
WELL, I CAN SEE
151
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:04,851
THAT YOU'RE
UP TO YOUR OLD TRICKS.
152
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:20,997
- RAWLINS, WYOMING,
MONTERO CORP'S
153
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,871
NATIONAL HEADQUARTERS--
154
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,740
THE NATION'S
LARGEST CATTLE FARM.
155
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:27,768
THIS IS THE FACE OF
THE FACTORY FARMING INDUSTRY--
156
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:31,144
HUNDREDS OF MILES OF LAND,
THOUSANDS OF COWS.
157
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:33,584
THEIR BUTTS?
158
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,980
UNWIPED.
159
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,983
IN RAWLINS, CRUDE
AUTOMATED WIPING MACHINES
160
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,716
HANDLE DOZENS OF COWS
AT A TIME.
161
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:43,861
A MICROSCOPIC CLOSE-UP
OF ONE OF THE COW'S BUTTS
162
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,517
TELLS A DISTURBING STORY--
163
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:49,226
GERMS, BACTERIA,
EVEN FECAL MATTER.
164
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:52,099
THOUGH IGNORANCE AND GREED
HAVE GOT US HERE,
165
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:55,069
IT DOESN'T HAVE
TO BE THIS WAY.
166
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:58,138
[upbeat music]
167
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:58,898
♪ ♪
168
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,766
- UH, THIS HERE IS BESSIE.
169
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,174
SHE'S A HUNGRY ONE.
170
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,605
- THIS IS WAYNE DELLER
OF BILLINGS, MONTANA,
171
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:07,151
AND INDEPENDENT FARMER
WHO RUNS A SMALL,
172
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,177
FAMILY-OWNED FARM.
173
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:10,121
- THIS RANCH HAS BEEN
IN THE FAMILY FOR MANY YEARS.
174
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:11,277
WE ONLY GOT
ABOUT 50 ACRES,
175
00:09:11,285 --> 00:09:14,085
BUT IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH
FOR MY GRANDDADDY.
176
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,217
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
177
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,192
- BY STAYING INDEPENDENT,
178
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,560
WAYNE CARES FOR HIS CATTLE
179
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,159
FAR BETTER THAN
ANY FACTORY FARMER.
180
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,860
- I THINK THE CLEANER THEY ARE,
THE HAPPIER THEY ARE.
181
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:24,163
THAT'S KIND OF
MY FAMILY'S MOTTO.
182
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,264
THAT'S HOW WE DID IT.
183
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,125
THAT'S HOW MY
GREAT GRANDDADDY DID IT.
184
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:28,034
SO THAT'S HOW I DO IT.
185
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:30,165
- THE DIFFERENCE
IS ASTONISHING.
186
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,240
THEIR BUTTS ARE CLEANER.
187
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,909
IF WE DO OUR BEST
TO SUPPORT SMALL FARMS,
188
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,038
WE CAN TAKE THE POWER
AWAY FROM MONTERO CORP,
189
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,605
AND PUT THE CATTLE
FARMING INDUSTRY
190
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,353
BACK INTO THE HANDS
THAT DESERVE IT--
191
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,208
HANDS THAT WE TRUST.
192
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,176
- ♪ DUMB PUBLIC ♪
193
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:50,315
♪ WE GOT
A REAL DUMB PUBLIC ♪
194
00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:04,267
[applause]
195
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:16,377
[knuckles crack]
196
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:19,753
[playing piano]
197
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:28,063
♪ ♪
198
00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:58,759
[rumble]
199
00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:03,729
[rumbling]
200
00:11:08,367 --> 00:11:10,737
[glass shatters]
201
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:12,137
[dog barks]
202
00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:15,269
[playing piano]
203
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:21,005
♪ ♪
204
00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:40,965
[applause]
205
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,897
[thud]
206
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:48,373
[cheers and applause]
207
00:11:55,314 --> 00:11:59,184
- [chuckles]
NO THANK YOU.
208
00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:09,987
- SO, SARAH, HOW WAS
YOUR SECOND WEEK OF SCHOOL?
209
00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:12,326
- AWESOME, I'M IN
THE SAME CLASS AS JUSTIN.
210
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:13,432
- OOH.
211
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:14,333
[rattling]
212
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,274
- WHAT IS THAT?
WHAT IS THAT NOISE?
213
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:17,939
- [grunting]
214
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:18,998
all: AAH!
215
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:20,165
tambourine rattling]
216
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:22,013
- OOH, OOH, OOH.
217
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:23,978
HAPPY SEPTEMBER, EVERYONE.
218
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,037
- WHAT THE HELL?
WHO ARE YOU?
219
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:29,306
- RELAX. IT'S JUST ME,
SEPTEMBER SANTA,
220
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:33,016
SPREADING A LITTLE
SEPTEMBER MAGIC.
221
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:37,419
I COME AROUND EVERY
SEPTEMBER 18TH AT 1:48 P.M.
222
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,164
- SEPTEMBER 18TH?
223
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:43,189
- IT'S JUST AS WEIRD
AS DECEMBER 25TH.
224
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,326
[laughs]
225
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:45,231
- NO, IT'S NOT.
226
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:46,262
DECEMBER 25TH
IS THE BIRTH
227
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,326
OF JESUS CHRIST,
OUR LORD AND SAVIOR.
228
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:51,395
- OKAY, OKAY,
WE GET IT, SARAH.
229
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:52,944
UNLIKE DECEMBER SANTA,
230
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,439
I HAVE NO
RELIGIOUS AFFILIATIONS.
231
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,241
- HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
232
00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:57,383
WHO ARE YOU AGAIN?
233
00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:00,007
- SEPTEMBER SANTA.
234
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,313
- BUT SEPTEMBER SUCKS.
235
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,484
- HEY, CHILL OUT, PAUL.
236
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:06,082
EVERYBODY LOVES WHEN THE LEAVES
START CHANGING COLORS.
237
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,546
- YEAH, THAT'S MORE,
LIKE, OCTOBER.
238
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:11,164
- YEAH, BUT IT HAPPENS
A LITTLE BIT IN SEPTEMBER.
239
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:12,958
AND HEY, YOU CAN GO SWIMMING
AT THE BEACH
240
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:16,429
IN SEPTEMBER, CATCH A WAVE,
SURF'S UP.
241
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,299
- NOT REALLY.
- YOU COULD.
242
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,798
I WOULD BE COLD,
BUT YOU COULD DO IT.
243
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,931
HOO, HOO, HOO. HOO.
244
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:27,436
- OH, IT'S HOO, HOO, HOO
INSTEAD OF HO, HO, HO.
245
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,410
THIS GUY DOES THINGS
A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY.
246
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:30,539
IT'S VERY INTERESTING, HON.
247
00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:31,884
- [laughs]
YES.
248
00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:33,878
AND WHO COULD FORGET
THE SEPTEMBER CLASSIC,
249
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:37,280
E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL?
250
00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:39,924
DON'T YOU REMEMBER
THE HALLOWEEN SCENE?
251
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,120
- YEAH.
- WELL, IF THERE WAS
252
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:44,462
A SUMMER SCENE
AND A HALLOWEEN SCENE,
253
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:48,257
THEN THERE HAD TO HAVE BEEN
A SCENE IN...
254
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:51,231
YOU GUESSED IT--
SEPTEMBER.
255
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:54,371
HOO, HOO, HOO.
HOO, HOO, HOO.
256
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,167
AND, UNLIKE SANTA CLAUS,
257
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,399
I DON'T HAVE A NAUGHTY
OR NICE LIST.
258
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,335
I GIVE GIFTS TO EVERYONE,
259
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,470
FROM MOTHER TERESA
TO OSAMA BIN LADEN,
260
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:06,576
ALL THE WAY DOWN
TO BARACK OBAMA.
261
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:09,250
HOO, HOO, HOO.
262
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:13,019
FOR YOU, PAUL,
A WONDERFUL PENCIL.
263
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,219
PERFECT FOR BACK-TO-SCHOOL.
264
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,122
- GREAT.
- HOO, HOO.
265
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:20,963
AND YOU, SARAH,
A MECHANICAL PENCIL.
266
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,491
LOOK AT IT GO.
YOU FEED THE LEAD IN
267
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,125
THROUGH THE TOP,
AND THEN YOU
268
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,960
CLICK IT DOWN TO WRITE.
269
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,396
- CAN I LEAVE?
270
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,500
- YEAH, SWEETHEART,
IF YOU WANT.
271
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,271
- WELL--
- SORRY, GO AHEAD.
272
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,900
SHE HAS SOMETHING TO DO.
- OKAY.
273
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:36,976
OH, AND LITTLE JOEY,
A PENCIL,
274
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,507
THE BEST GIFT TO WRITE
REMINDERS TO YOURSELF
275
00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:42,082
THAT HALLOWEEN IS RIGHT
AROUND THE CORNER.
276
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:45,522
HOO, HOO, HOO,
HOO, HOO, HOO.
277
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,618
- OH, SEPTEMBER SANTA,
RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
278
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:49,291
SO ALL THE GIFTS
HAVE TO DO WITH SEPTEMBER.
279
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,919
- YES, JUST LIKE HOW
ALL OF SANTA CLAUS'S GIFTS
280
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,455
HAVE TO DO WITH
THE MONTH OF DECEMBER.
281
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:57,531
ANYWAY, IT'S TIME
FOR ME TO GET GOING.
282
00:14:57,530 --> 00:15:00,330
I'LL SEE YOU ALL
NEXT SEPTEMBER.
283
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,673
- AREN'T YOU GONNA
GO OUT THE WINDOW?
284
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,328
- NO, I'M JUST GONNA
USE THE FRONT DOOR.
285
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:09,436
AND REMEMBER, PART OF E.T.
TOOK PLACE IN SEPTEMBER.
286
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,582
HOO, HOO, HOO.
287
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,978
SEE YOU NEXT SEPTEMBER.
288
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:16,610
- ALL RIGHT, SEPTEMBER SANTA,
GOOD-BYE.
289
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:20,616
- AND THAT WAS THE TAIL
OF SEPTEMBER SANTA.
290
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:33,925
- GROSS.
291
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,604
I THINK YOUR GRANDPA'S
A PACK RAT.
292
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:39,342
- NO, HE'S ACTUALLY
A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
293
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:40,539
I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS PHOTO.
294
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,570
IT MUST BE FROM,
LIKE, 1940.
295
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,535
- YOU WERE CLOSE.
1T'S 1944--
296
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,545
ONE WEEK BEFORE D-DAY.
297
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,248
BRING THOSE PICTURES
OVER HERE.
298
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,550
I'LL TELL YOU
ALL ABOUT 'EM.
299
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:54,151
- IS THAT A PICTURE OF YOU
FROM THE WAR, MR. RANKIN?
300
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:57,024
- OH, MY, MY, MY.
LOOK AT THAT.
301
00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:58,963
THAT'S ME.
302
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:00,959
BUT I WAS A DIFFERENT MAN
BACK THEN.
303
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:03,431
THIS PHOTOGRAPH WAS TAKEN
AROUND THE TIME
304
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,100
I USED TO DRESS UP
AS A SOLDIER
305
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,428
AND GO TO BARS
AND RESTAURANTS,
306
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,503
HERE IN THE UNITED STATES,
AND TRY TO GET
307
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,571
FREE FOOD AND DRINK
BY TELLING PEOPLE
308
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:11,700
I WAS A WAR HERO.
309
00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:13,565
I WOULD WALK IN,
CONFIDENTLY AS A SOLIDER,
310
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:17,413
SIT DOWN, AND FLASH MY MEDALS
TO ANY OF THE WAITSTAFF.
311
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,380
AND I'D EAT MY FILL.
312
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:22,408
YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW MUCH
A PHONY SOLDIER CAN EAT.
313
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,275
- SO YOU WEREN'T
A WAR HERO?
314
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,384
- NO, I DODGED THE DRAFT,
YOU SEE?
315
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:28,185
I DRESSED UP AS A WOMAN
AND CHANGED MY NAME
316
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,248
FROM SAM TO SOPHIE.
317
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,585
I WOULD WEAR DRESSES
AND TALK ABOUT BOYS
318
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,431
I HAD CRUSHES ON
ALL DAY LONG.
319
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:35,727
BUT THAT WAS
A LONG TIME AGO.
320
00:16:35,729 --> 00:16:38,199
I WAS A DIFFERENT MAN
BACK THEN.
321
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:40,468
- YOUR GRANDPA'S A FREAK.
322
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,727
- UH, GRANDPA,
WHAT'S THIS ONE HERE?
323
00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:44,336
- LET ME SEE.
324
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:47,237
OH, MY OLD BASEBALL CARD.
325
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,570
- OH, DID YOU
PLAY A LITTLE BALL
326
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,035
AFTER YOU WERE IN THE WAR?
327
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:51,383
- OH, REMEMBER,
I WASN'T IN THE WAR.
328
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:54,478
OKAY, I DODGED THE DRAFT
BY PRETENDING I WAS A WOMAN.
329
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:55,381
I WAS A COWARD.
330
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:56,652
I WAS A COWARD BACK THEN,
YOU REMEMBER.
331
00:16:56,649 --> 00:17:00,019
BUT SURE, SURE. I PLAYED
A LITTLE MINOR LEAGUE BALL.
332
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,420
I EVER TELL YOU
THE STORY ABOUT
333
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:02,721
HOW I GOT ON THIS TEAM?
334
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:03,722
- MM-MM.
335
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,163
- I NEVER TOLD YOU THAT STORY?
- NO.
336
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:08,558
- THE STORY ABOUT HOW I GOT
ON THE KANSAS CITY CLIPPERS?
337
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,131
both: NO.
- BLACKMAIL.
338
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,630
BLACKMAIL'S HOW I DID IT.
IT WAS EASY.
339
00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:14,601
YOU SEE, I WAS UNDERNEATH
THE STADIUM BLEACHERS ONE DAY,
340
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,571
LOOKING FOR
OLD PEANUT SHELLS.
341
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:17,639
I USED TO LIKE
TO SUCK ON 'EM,
342
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,037
BECAUSE I LIKE
THE SALTY TASTE.
343
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,299
WELL, I POP MY HEAD
INTO A ROOM.
344
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:22,336
AND WHO DO I SEE,
BUT THE OWNER OF THE TEAM
345
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,642
SCREWING THE MAYOR'S WIFE.
346
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:26,084
I BLACKMAILED THEM
IMMEDIATELY.
347
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:28,149
I GOT ON THE TEAM
THROUGH THAT BLACKMAIL,
348
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,478
AND THE MAYOR'S WIFE
LET ME RIDE
349
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,352
THE CITY TROLLEYS FOR FREE.
- GREAT.
350
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:34,191
- I HAD A LOT OF FUN
PLAYIN' BALL WITH THOSE FELLAS,
351
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,517
EVEN THOUGH I WAS PROBABLY
352
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,662
THE WORST PITCHER
IN LEAGUE HISTORY.
353
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,187
I DID HOLD A RECORD,
THOUGH.
354
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,532
- REALLY?
WHAT WAS IT?
355
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:44,297
- I PITCHED 14 GRAND SLAMS
IN A SINGLE GAME,
356
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:46,157
AND THEN I GOT
KICKED OFF THE TEAM.
357
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,526
- FOR BEING
SUCH A BAD PITCHER?
358
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:48,774
- NO, NO, I GOT KICKED
OFF THE TEAM
359
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:52,638
FOR STEALING BATS AND
SELLING THEM AS FIREWOOD.
360
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:53,839
BUT THAT WAS
A LONG TIME AGO.
361
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,080
I WAS--I WAS A DIFFERENT MAN
BACK THEN...
362
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,277
- YEAH.
363
00:17:58,278 --> 00:17:59,478
- AND MUCH MORE SPINELESS
364
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:00,679
AND SHIFTY THAN I AM TODAY.
365
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,680
- GRANDPA, I TOLD PETE
WHAT A GREAT GUY YOU WERE.
366
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:07,293
I SAID YOU WERE THE EPITOME
OF HONOR AND BRAVERY.
367
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,147
WAS I WRONG?
- NO, YOU WEREN'T WRONG.
368
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:11,185
I CHANGED RIGHT
WHEN YOU WERE BORN.
369
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:13,461
YOU SEE, I KNEW YOU
NEEDED A ROLE MODEL,
370
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:16,690
AND I FIGURED
I MIGHT AS WELL BE IT.
371
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,496
- REALLY?
372
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:21,228
IS THIS ME HERE,
IN THIS PICTURE WITH YOU?
373
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,704
- LET'S SEE
WHAT WE GOT HERE.
374
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,702
YOU? NO, NO, NOT AT ALL.
375
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,144
THIS IS YOUR FRIEND PETE.
376
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:28,109
THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN
SOON AFTER
377
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:30,408
I PURCHASED HIM
FROM HIS PARENTS.
378
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,680
I HAD BIG PLANS
FOR LITTLE PETE.
379
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:34,778
I WAS GONNA PERFORM
EXPERIMENTS ON HIM,
380
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,151
MENTAL STUFF MOSTLY--
381
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:37,719
LEAVE HIM IN A CLOSET
BY HIMSELF,
382
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,247
STARVE HIM
FOR PERIODS OF TIME,
383
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:40,722
AND WRITE A BOOK ABOUT IT
AND SELL IT
384
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:41,850
TO THE SCIENCE COMMUNITY.
385
00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:43,315
I WAS GONNA MAKE
A MILLION DOLLARS.
386
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,563
I REALLY TOOK
TO THE TYPING TOO.
387
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,487
IT WAS A LOT OF FUN.
IT WAS A WRIST WORKOUT
388
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,893
THAT I MUCH NEEDED.
- YEAH.
389
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,864
- BUT LIKE SO MANY
OF MY HOBBIES,
390
00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:52,263
I LOST INTEREST
AND GAVE UP ON IT.
391
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:55,225
AND I LEFT PETE ON
SOME ORPHANAGE'S DOORSTEP.
392
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:57,735
- WAIT A SECOND.
THAT'S WHY I'M AN ORPHAN?
393
00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,397
- WELL, YEAH, I COULDN'T
GIVE YOU BACK TO YOUR PARENTS.
394
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,306
I SUNK THEIR HOUSEBOAT.
395
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:03,708
- YOU KILLED MY PARENTS?
- NO, NO.
396
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:04,740
I DIDN'T KILL ANYONE.
397
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,754
I SUNK THEIR HOUSEBOAT.
- WERE THEY ON IT?
398
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:09,247
- WELL, YEAH,
THEY WERE ON IT.
399
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,719
AND SURE, THEY DROWNED
BECAUSE OF IT.
400
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:11,747
THEY'RE DEAD.
401
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:15,221
- I SUPPOSE THIS IS BACK
WHEN YOU WERE A DIFFERENT MAN.
402
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:17,621
- THIS WAS A WEEK AGO,
PETE.
403
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:18,794
- YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
THAT YOU
404
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,931
KNEW MY PARENTS ALL ALONG,
AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?
405
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:24,698
AND THEN YOU KILLED THEM
A WEEK AGO?
406
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,297
- WHAT?
407
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,599
- YOU KILLED MY PARENTS!
408
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,331
- WHAT?
409
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,736
- I DON'T THINK
HE CAN HEAR YOU.
410
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:35,439
- CAN YOU HEAR ME?
411
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:37,581
- I CAN'T HEAR YA.
412
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:39,537
- WELL, HE IS PRETTY OLD.
413
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:42,206
MAYBE WE SHOULD
CUT HIM SOME SLACK.
414
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,775
- AAH!
415
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,653
IT PISSES ME OFF.
416
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:46,652
[thud]
417
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,693
KILLIN' ME!
418
00:19:58,463 --> 00:19:59,963
- IN EARLY 1931,
419
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:03,766
A FRUSTRATED GLANARD FRUGNER
WAS OUT OF IDEAS.
420
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:06,400
HE NEEDED SOMETHING NEW.
421
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,466
WORKING LATE
INTO THE AFTERNOON,
422
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,514
HE STUMBLED UPON
A NEW DESIGN--
423
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:12,580
SEVEN CRUDELY DRAWN
YOUNG MEN,
424
00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:16,379
WITH SIMILAR ETHNICITIES
AND PLAIN FIRST NAMES.
425
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,782
THOSE CHARACTERS
WERE NONE OTHER
426
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:20,754
THAN THE BIRTHDAY BOYS.
427
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:21,893
THE BOYS WENT THROUGH
428
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,688
SEVERAL INCARNATIONS
OVER THE YEARS.
429
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:25,791
BUT THROUGH IT ALL,
430
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:29,292
THEY ALWAYS
HAD ONE THING--FEET.
431
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:32,555
AND THAT'S WHAT ATTRACTED
BILLIONAIRE TADASHI TANAKA
432
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,565
OF TADASHI TANAKA INDUSTRIES,
433
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,297
THE INTERNATIONAL
FOOTWEAR CONGLOMERATE
434
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:38,442
WHO CHEAPLY ACQUIRED
LICENSING RIGHTS
435
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:39,998
TO ALL FRUGNER PROPERTIES.
436
00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:41,536
HE USED THEM
AS CORPORATE BRANDING,
437
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:44,511
A THINLY VEILED ADVERTISEMENT
FOR HIS SHOES.
438
00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:46,810
- WEAR FLIP-FLOPS,
THEY'RE GOOD FOR YOUR SPINE.
439
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,583
- HEY, TECHIE,
I LOVE YOU.
440
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,581
- ♪ THAT'S HOW THEY BECAME
GOOFY ROOFERS ♪
441
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:51,783
- MY SHOE!
442
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:52,824
♪ ♪
443
00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:54,619
- ♪ I WORE A VEST
AND A PUMPKIN FOR A SHOE ♪
444
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:55,991
- UNFORTUNATELY,
IN THE END,
445
00:20:55,989 --> 00:20:57,959
FRUGNER AND
ALL OF HIS CHARACTERS
446
00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:00,787
NEVER DID CATCH ON
WITH THE PUBLIC.
447
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,363
EXCEPT OVERSEAS,
448
00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:04,632
WHERE THEY WERE
AN ENORMOUS SENSATION.
449
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:06,601
[upbeat music]
450
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:10,769
MERCHANDISING
WAS THROUGH THE ROOF,
451
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,770
THEME PARKS WERE ERECTED,
452
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,743
AND THE PUBLIC WAS OVERJOYED.
453
00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:18,282
- [singing in Russian]
454
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:30,988
- THAT'S RIGHT.
455
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:33,920
I'M HERE IN YUGOSLAVIA'S
FRUGNERLAND
456
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:35,956
AMUSEMENT PARK AND RESORT.
457
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:39,702
AND LOOK, HERE ARE
SOME OF MY NEW FRIENDS--
458
00:21:39,699 --> 00:21:41,829
THE BIRTHDAY BOYS.
459
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:43,604
HI, FELLAS.
460
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:46,503
DO YOU THINK WE SOLD
A LOT OF SHOES?
461
00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:51,507
CAN YOU--CAN YOU GUYS
TAKE THE HEADS OFF?
462
00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:53,641
I CAN'T HEAR
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
463
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:54,406
TAKE 'EM OFF.
464
00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:58,354
SO HOW DID YOU LIKE
DOING THE SHOW?
465
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:04,315
ALL RIGHT. UH, GREETINGS
FROM FRUGNERLAND.
466
00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:08,064
AND REMEMBER--
[clears throat]
467
00:22:13,932 --> 00:22:15,772
GOOD NIGHT.
468
00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:19,368
[upbeat music]
469
00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:21,572
OH, AND IF YOU LIKE
GLANARD FRUGNER,
470
00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:24,884
YOU SHOULD
CHECK OUT WALT DISNEY.
471
00:22:24,877 --> 00:22:28,007
♪ ♪
32723
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