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1
00:00:02,302 --> 00:00:04,372
[doorbell rings]
2
00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:07,612
- THE TICKETS.
3
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:08,568
- WHAT TICKETS?
4
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:09,536
- I GOT US TWO TICKETS
5
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:12,543
TO THE FREDONIA DESERT
MUSIC FESTIVAL.
6
00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,176
- OH.
7
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,281
- YUP.
8
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:16,382
THAT'S THEM.
9
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:19,524
[quirky music]
10
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,190
♪ ♪
11
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,058
OH. HERE'S A TICKET.
12
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,117
[laughs]
13
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,385
"THIS IS NOT A TICKET."
14
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:27,334
HM.
15
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:30,458
[quirky music]
16
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,734
♪ ♪
17
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,233
NOW, THIS!
18
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:35,325
[groans]
19
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,566
THEY REALLY GO ALL OUT.
20
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:40,241
THIS IS A CRATE.
21
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,411
GO GET THE CROWBAR.
22
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,140
- ALL I COULD FIND IS A CROWBAR.
23
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:45,575
- THANKS.
24
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:54,049
♪ ♪
25
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:56,815
- FOLLOW ME.
26
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,260
- NO, DON'T.
27
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:05,063
- IS THIS THE FESTIVAL?
28
00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:05,726
- NO.
29
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:06,633
COME, DANIEL.
30
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:07,504
WE HAVE MUCH TO DO.
31
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,401
- IN THE MEADOW OF SOUND
YOU WILL FIND A ROCK.
32
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,203
ON THAT ROCK YOU WILL FIND
THE TINIEST SEED.
33
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:15,666
NOW, TAKE THE COMPLIMENTARY
SHUTTLE HOME.
34
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,406
- COME ON.
35
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:23,421
[doorbell rings]
36
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,077
- WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
37
00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:31,186
♪ ♪
38
00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:32,762
- THE LEAVES ARE THE TICKETS.
39
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:36,860
THE LEAVES ARE THE TICKETS!
40
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:39,534
- NO, THEY'RE NOT.
41
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:43,473
[laid back rock music]
42
00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:51,711
♪ ♪
43
00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:54,506
[warped music]
44
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:55,775
- LISTEN WITH YOUR EARS,
45
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,453
NOT YOUR EYES.
46
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,121
HEAR IT FOR THE FIRST TIME.
47
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,190
DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M DOING?
48
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,517
I'M SPINNING
THE RECORD BACKWARDS
49
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,322
AND IT SOUNDS COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT.
50
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:07,434
SO A SIMPLE SHIFT IN PERSPECTIVE
CAN TAKE WHAT WAS ONCE FAMILIAR
51
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:10,198
AND MAKE IT SEEM LIKE
A REVELATION.
52
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:13,497
YOUR HOMEWORK IS TO WALK HOME
BLINDFOLDED
53
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:16,471
AND LIST EVERYTHING YOU SMELLED.
54
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,140
- OH.
55
00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:21,668
- AND REMEMBER TO RAGE
AGAINST THE SILENCE
56
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,305
AND RATTLE THOSE CAGES!
57
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:25,681
LET ME HEAR YOU!
58
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,249
RAGE!
59
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:28,308
COME ON!
60
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,915
RATTLE THOSE CAGES!
61
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,517
HIT THOSE DESKS!
62
00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:32,919
I CAN'T HEAR YOU, MR. ROBLING.
63
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,650
- YEAH!
- COME ON, MR. KIRCHUCK!
64
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:36,516
[yelling]
65
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,494
GET DOWN ON THE GROUND, MAHONIE!
66
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,362
GIVE ME A HULA, MR. SPENCER!
67
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:42,832
- [howls]
68
00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:44,926
- MR. TURNER, WHAT IS GOING ON?
69
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:48,672
WHY ARE THESE BOYS
MAKING SUCH A RACKET?
70
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,939
- WHY, BECAUSE I ASKED THEM TO,
HEADMASTER PRIMWICK,
71
00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:54,709
BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU
WHO WOULD RATHER
72
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:56,208
THEY QUIETLY LAY DOWN
THEIR MINDS
73
00:02:56,210 --> 00:03:00,350
AT THE ALTER OF YESTERDAY'S
REGURGITATED TRIPE.
74
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,277
- THAT'S IT, MR. TURNER.
75
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,653
YOU'RE FIRED.
76
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,921
PACK YOUR THINGS AND LEAVE.
77
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:13,430
BOYS, I'M TAKING OVER THIS CLASS
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.
78
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:16,527
- SORRY, BOYS.
79
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:19,872
- WAIT!
80
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,227
YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE,
HEADMASTER PRIMWICK.
81
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:23,396
- YOU GET DOWN, MR. FOWLER.
82
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,974
- SURE, MR. TURNER'S
TEACHING METHODS
83
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:27,642
MAY HAVE BEEN A LITTLE
UNORTHODOX,
84
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:32,241
BUT WAS HE SO WRONG?
85
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,506
IS IT SO WRONG
THAT HE TOOK US
86
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:35,554
BEYOND THE CONFINES
OF THE CLASSROOM,
87
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:40,789
LEADING US OUTSIDE,
OFF THE PATH, THROUGH A MEADOW,
88
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:44,218
BY A BOG,
AND DIRECTLY INTO A THICKET
89
00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:45,955
FILLED WITH THISTLES?
90
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,290
- WHAT?
91
00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:48,534
- THISTLES.
92
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:50,659
- THISTLES.
SHARP LITTLE--
93
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:53,474
- YES, THAT'S WRONG!
94
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:56,237
- WAS HE SO WRONG TO HAVE US
TEAR THE PAGES OUT
95
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:59,837
OF OUR MUSTY OLD TEXTBOOKS,
PASTING THEM TOGETHER
96
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,410
INTO A SERIES OF SHORTER BOOKS,
97
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,538
WHICH HE IN TURN SOLD
AT A LOCAL STORE?
98
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:05,405
- YES, THAT'S WRONG.
99
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:08,352
- IS IT SO WRONG THAT HE OPENED
OUR EYES
100
00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:09,949
TO THE WORKS OF MELVILLE?
101
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,320
- HERMAN MELVILLE.
102
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:12,818
WELL, NO THAT'S--
- NO.
103
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:15,920
MR. TURNER'S COUSIN,
MEL VILLE,
104
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,963
WHO IS IN
THE STATE PENITENTIARY
105
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,628
FOR PIGEON RACING.
106
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:22,587
- PIGEON RACING?
107
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,756
- WE'RE WORKING ON THE APPEAL.
108
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,304
- IS IT SO WRONG
THAT HE SPENT HOURS
109
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,570
REGALING US WITH NOT ONLY
CLASSIC TALES
110
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,799
BUT NEW ADVENTURESOF OLD CHRISTINE?
111
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,435
- THE COMPLETE BOX SET.
112
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,770
- HEADMASTER PRIMWICK,
WHAT I THINK
113
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:39,745
THEY'RE TRYING TO ASK IS,
IS IT SO UNFORGIVEABLE
114
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,777
THAT I BROKE FREE OF YOUR
PRECIOUS CURRICULUM
115
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:46,493
BY REPLACING
THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK
116
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:49,547
WITH THE DIARY
OF FRANK CALIENDO?
117
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:52,656
AND FURTHER STILL,
IS IT SO WRONG
118
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,960
THAT I BASED THE ENTIRE MIDTERM
ON THAT BOOK,
119
00:04:54,962 --> 00:05:01,002
AND PRINTED SAID MIDTERM
ON NOT PAPER, BUT WHAT, BOYS?
120
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,001
all: SLICES OF TURKEY.
121
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,003
- YOU BROKE THE COPY MACHINE!
122
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,765
- GUILTY AS CHARGED.
123
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:08,514
- MR. TURNER,
THERE IS A LINE,
124
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,839
AND YOU CROSSED IT
SOME TIME AGO.
125
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,944
- YOU TALKING
ABOUT THE PUBE CONTEST?
126
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:13,876
- WHAT PUBE CONTEST?
127
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:17,421
- MR. TURNER CHALLENGED US
TO CATALOGUE OUR PUBES--
128
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,878
LENGTH, WIDTH, AND CURLINESS--
129
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:22,046
ALL USING THE DEWEY
DECIMAL SYSTEM.
130
00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:25,316
I'M NEARLY FINISHED.
131
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:26,456
SEE?
132
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,030
- NICE JOB.
133
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:30,827
- MR. TURNER, IS THIS TRUE?
134
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,631
- ALL'S I CAN SAY IS...
135
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:34,634
YUP.
136
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,365
- MR. TURNER,
YOU WILL LEAVE
137
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,470
AND YOU WILL NOT COME BACK.
138
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:41,071
YOU'VE PROVEN YOU DO NOT CARE
ABOUT THESE CHILDREN.
139
00:05:41,075 --> 00:05:44,735
- HEADMASTER PRIMWICK,
YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT,
140
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,845
BUT DON'T YOU EVER SAY
THAT I DON'T CARE
141
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,107
ABOUT THESE KIDS
OR THAT WHAT I DO
142
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:53,086
HAS NO EDUCATIONAL VALUE
OR THAT I LACK CHARACTER
143
00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:59,087
BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE BEING TOLD
WHAT I ALREADY KNOW.
144
00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:00,593
NOW, COME ON, GENTLEMEN.
145
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,934
WE'VE GOT A CONTEST TO FINISH!
146
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:03,930
[all cheering]
147
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,801
- LET'S GO!
148
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,069
- YEAH!
149
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:13,769
- WHAT KIND OF A FEATURE FILM
IS THIS?
150
00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:18,780
- HEY.
151
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,479
WHY SO BLUE, BROTHERS?
152
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:21,411
- HEY, HEATH.
153
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,005
WE'RE JUST MISSING OUT
ON THE BIGGEST
154
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,516
CONCERT EVENT OF THE SUMMER.
155
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:25,948
- THE LEAVES
WEREN'T THE TICKETS.
156
00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:27,693
- [scoffs]
THAT'S NOTHING.
157
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:31,758
1969, 100,000 DREAMERS DESCEND
UPON A DAIRY FARM
158
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:35,089
IN UPSTATE NEW YORK
FOR THREE DAYS OF PEACE, LOVE,
159
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:39,865
AND LEGENDARY MUSIC,
AND I WASN'T THERE.
160
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:40,797
- WHOA.
161
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:41,801
YOU MISSED WOODSTOCK?
162
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,102
- THEY SAY IF YOU REMEMBER IT,
YOU WEREN'T THERE.
163
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:49,914
WELL, I DON'T REMEMBER IT
AND I WASN'T THERE.
164
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:53,410
- RIGHT.
- 1967, MONTEREY POP FESTIVAL.
165
00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,954
JIMMY HENDRIX
LIGHTS HIS GUITARS ON FIRE,
166
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:59,919
AND I'M THIS CLOSE
TO GETTING TICKETS.
167
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,690
- WELL, DID YOU GET 'EM?
- NOPE.
168
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:05,658
I WAS IN OHIO VISITING
A COUSIN OF A FRIEND.
169
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:06,489
- BADASS.
170
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,963
- BUT LIFE HAS A WAY
OF BALANCING OUT.
171
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,862
WHEN THE BEATLES SOLD OUT
SHEA STADIUM,
172
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:13,474
I GOT THE LAST TICKET
OF THE NIGHT.
173
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:14,497
- WOW.
- YEAH.
174
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:16,701
I WAS DOUBLE-PARKED
AND PELL AVENUE
175
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,443
RIGHT IN FRONT
OF A FIRE HYDRANT.
176
00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:19,769
- THE LAST PARKING TICKET
OF THE NIGHT?
177
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,773
- THE LAST PARKING TICKET
OF THE NIGHT.
178
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,605
THE WHO LIVE AT LEEDS.
179
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,580
ME?
ALONE AT HOME.
180
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:26,679
FRAMPTON COMES ALIVE.
181
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,510
I SPENT THE WEEKEND
AT MY GRANDMA'S FRIEND'S HOUSE
182
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:30,676
SLEEPIN' ON A PLASTIC COUCH.
183
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:34,094
YEAH, THE ONLY CONCERT
I EVER MADE WAS ALTAMONT.
184
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:34,917
FRONT ROW.
185
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:37,822
MY BEST FRIEND WAS MURDERED
BY A HELL'S ANGEL.
186
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:38,485
- WOW.
187
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,692
- WELL, CATCH YOU
ON THE FLIP-FLOP, BOYS.
188
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,164
BY THE WAY, WEAR FLIP-FLOPS.
189
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,702
THEY'RE GOOD FOR YOUR SPINE.
190
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,757
- SEE YOU, HEATH.
191
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:48,666
- I HATE THAT GUY.
192
00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:58,883
- LET'S BE FRANK:THE DIARY OF FRANK CALIENDO.
193
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:02,049
CHAPTER ONE.
"I AM BORN."
194
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:02,649
GO!
195
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:06,149
- IT WAS A COLD JANUARY MORNING.
- AS CHRIS ROCK!
196
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,923
- [imitates Chris Rock]
I CAN'T BELIEVE
197
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,021
THE BABY
CAME OUT THAT UGLY.
198
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,222
- TELL ME, WHY WAS IT UGLY,
CHRIS?
199
00:08:10,224 --> 00:08:12,724
- [imitates Chris Rock]
IT WAS--SEE, THAT LOOK LIKE
200
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:13,786
SOMETHING OUT OF PREDATOR.
201
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:15,534
- AND WHAT DID JOHN MADDEN
THINK OF THIS BABY?
202
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,659
- [imitates John Madden]
I-I WOULD HAVE EATEN IT.
203
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,064
I MEAN, THAT'S THE KIND OF--
204
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:19,996
[laughter]
205
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,700
- HANG ON.
HANG ON A SECOND.
206
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:22,872
"EATEN THE BABY."
207
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,970
YOUR FIRST TIME WITH A WOMAN
AS JEFF GOLDBLUM.
208
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,142
- [imitates Jeff Goldblum]
AH, VERY WEIRD.
209
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,070
- AS ROBIN WILLIAMS.
210
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,665
- [imitates Robin Williams]
OH, MY GOODNESS!
211
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,536
- SANDLER!
- [imitates Adam Sandler] MOMMY!
212
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,505
- I WANT MY CLINTON!
213
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:35,013
- [imitates Bill Clinton]
I WOULD JUST STOP AT A CLUB
214
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,715
AND SAY HELLO TO THE LADIES.
215
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:37,747
[laughter]
216
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,991
- TELL ME HOW YOU DIE,
AL PACINO.
217
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:45,057
- [imitates Al Pacino] THAT BUS
WAS COMING AT 200 MILES AN HOUR!
218
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,588
IT WAS COMIN' AT ME 65.
219
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,233
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN'...
220
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:52,098
THIS IS A PLACE YOU NEVER
WANT TO BE!
221
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:54,169
- "WANT TO BE."
222
00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:58,268
- I AM THE KEY MASTER.
ARE YOU THE GATE KEEPER?
223
00:08:58,272 --> 00:08:59,142
- [laughs]
224
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,309
GHOSTBUSTERS!
I LOVE IT!
225
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,549
- HEY, TO MIKE, WHO,
STARTING TOMORROW,
226
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:13,590
WILL NO LONGER BE THE WILD
AND CRAZY GUY WE ONCE KNEW.
227
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:14,747
- ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.
228
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,115
- WE'RE JUST GOOFING
AROUND, MIKE.
229
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:17,923
LAUREN'S A GREAT GIRL,
AND YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
230
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:22,225
MARRIED LIFE, BUT FIRST,
WE'VE GOT A LITTLE SURPRISE.
231
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,999
- STRIPPERS!
- WHAT? NO.
232
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,728
- AW, YEAH!
233
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,133
- WHOO!
234
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:29,865
- WHOA!
235
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,000
- ALL RIGHT!
236
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,204
YEAH!
237
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,005
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
STOP!
238
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,167
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
239
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,736
GUYS.
240
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,214
WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE?
241
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,282
- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, MIKE?
242
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,881
- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
243
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:47,994
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
244
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,248
YOU GOT STRIPPERS.
245
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,756
I PROMISED LAUREN
THERE WEREN'T GONNA BE
246
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:52,788
STRIPPERS AT THIS THING.
247
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,933
- MIKE, THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE
A BACHELOR PARTY.
248
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,628
FOR THE STRIPPERS!
- YEAH!
249
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,200
- AND WE'RE NOT GONNA TELL
OUR WIVES.
250
00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,298
YOU THINK I WANT KIM KNOWING
251
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,029
I WAS PARTYING WITH STRIPPERS?
252
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,074
NO THANKS.
253
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,369
- [sighs]
254
00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:10,379
ALL RIGHT, BUT LAUREN CANNOT
FIND OUT ABOUT THIS.
255
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:11,937
[all cheering]
256
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,305
- ALL RIGHT!
257
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,113
- YEAH!
258
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,984
- ALL RIGHT!
- YEAH!
259
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,383
- THE STRIPPERS
ARE STRIPPING!
260
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,685
- THESE ARE SOME GREAT
STRIPPERS, JEFF.
261
00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:22,117
VERY SEXY.
- YEAH!
262
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,662
- YEAH, WHERE'D YOU FIND 'EM,
JEFF?
263
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,317
- I JUST CALLED ONE OF THOSE
NUMBERS IN THE PHONE BOOK
264
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:29,825
AND SAID, "HEY, GIVE ME THE TWO
SEXIEST STRIPPERS YOU GOT."
265
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,200
- THEY'RE SEXY, ALL RIGHT.
266
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,998
HEY, GUYS,
FOR AN EXTRA 50 BUCKS,
267
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,100
YOU CAN TAKE ONE IN THE BACK
AND, YOU KNOW, SCREW!
268
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:39,973
- KNOCK-A-DA BOOTS!
- YOU ARE COMING WITH ME!
269
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,943
- WHOO!
- HOO-HOO-HOO!
270
00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:42,972
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
271
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,776
WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE.
TIM, TIM, TIM.
272
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,948
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING, MAN?
273
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:47,707
- WHAT?
274
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,854
- I NEVER THOUGHT YOU WERE
THAT TYPE OF GUY.
275
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:53,180
THE TYPE OF GUY WHO WOULD
CHEAT ON HIS WIFE.
276
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,316
COME ON.
277
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,721
- [sighs]
278
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:56,992
NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
279
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:57,820
I'M SORRY.
280
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:01,194
I CAN'T DO THAT TO MEG,
BUT IF I WASN'T MARRIED...
281
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:04,234
- OH, I'D SAY "PLOW AWAY."
SURE, SURE.
282
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:05,201
- GOD, LOOK AT JEFF.
283
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,028
THAT LUCKY GUY'S NOT MARRIED,
HUH?
284
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:09,374
- WELL, COME ON.
LET'S GET BACK TO IT.
285
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:12,099
- HERE WE GO!
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
286
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:12,935
STOP THE MUSIC!
287
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:15,369
JEFF, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT
TO DO THIS?
288
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,375
- YEAH.
I'VE BAGGED TONS OF STRIPPERS.
289
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,377
CANDY, CRYSTAL, SAMANTHA.
290
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:20,249
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
291
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:22,877
BUT IS THERE SOMETHING MAYBE
A LITTLE DIFFERENT
292
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:25,223
ABOUT THIS STRIPPER?
293
00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:29,222
- BLONDE HAIR?
- EXACTLY.
294
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,222
YOU'RE A BRUNETTE MAN.
295
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:33,263
WE ALL KNOW HOW MUCH THAT
BRUNETTE STREAK MEANS TO YOU.
296
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:34,990
- THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN
A HUGE MISTAKE.
297
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,255
GOT TO KEEP MY STREAK ALIVE,
BABY.
298
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,334
- YES.
NOW, PLEASE.
299
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:43,971
LET'S ALL JUST WATCH THE SEXY
STRIPPERS STRIP FOR US, OKAY?
300
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:45,170
CRANK IT UP!
301
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,142
- HE'S DOING THE PECK THING!
302
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,240
- IT IS PRETTY COOL.
303
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,271
- YEAH!
- HEY.
304
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:51,206
I THINK I'M GONNA TAKE OFF.
- WHAT?
305
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,711
HEY, YOU'RE NOT WORRIED
YOUR BOYFRIEND BILL
306
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:54,484
IS GONNA FIND OUT.
307
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:56,281
- NAH, I'M JUST NOT
THAT INTO THE ACT
308
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,853
OF TAKING CLOTHES OFF
TO TECHNO MUSIC.
309
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,022
IT'S JUST NOT FOR ME.
310
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:04,760
- WELL, THAT MAKES ONE OF US,
BECAUSE I LOVE IT.
311
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:05,988
- MIKE?
312
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,392
- OH, SHIT.
- LAUREN!
313
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,064
- WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON HERE?
314
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,833
- IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
- NO?
315
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,302
OKAY, WELL WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME
WHAT IT IS,
316
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,170
BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE MY FIANCE
IS A CLOSETED--
317
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:19,039
- STRIPPER ENTHUSIAST.
- RIGHT.
318
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:20,809
OKAY, I HAD NO IDEA
YOU WERE ATTRACTED TO--
319
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:24,237
- THE IDEA OF HAVING STRIPPERS
AT MY BACHELOR PARTY?
320
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,114
- EXACTLY.
321
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:26,182
THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE GONNA
322
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,509
GET MARRIED KNOWING YOU'RE--
323
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:30,484
- VERY HAPPY GETTING
A LAP DANCE.
324
00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:34,124
LOOK, LAUREN,
I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET,
325
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:38,021
BUT THIS IS WHAT GUYS DO
AT BACHELOR PARTIES.
326
00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:39,424
WE GET STRIPPERS.
327
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,926
- LAUREN, IT WAS MY IDEA.
328
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,287
MIKE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
329
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:46,225
ALL HE DID TONIGHT
WAS TALK ABOUT YOU.
330
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,303
- I LOVE YOU, LAUREN.
331
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,341
- OH, MIKE.
332
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:54,310
ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH OF THIS
LOVEY-DOVEY JUNK.
333
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:58,077
THOSE BEAUTIFUL BUNS AREN'T
GONNA STRIP THEMSELVES.
334
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:01,178
- YEAH!
- WHOO!
335
00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:03,111
- LAUREN'S THE COOLEST.
336
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,276
- YEAH.
337
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,484
[laughs]
338
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:08,085
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
A GREAT MARRIAGE!
339
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,048
all: YEAH!
340
00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:13,393
[laughter]
341
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,493
- GREEN BEAN FLOYD.
342
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,425
[laughter]
343
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,230
- I AM A GREEN BEAN FLOYD
WANNABE.
344
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,803
THAT'S WHAT THEY SHOULD WRITE
ON MY TOMBSTONE.
345
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,973
"HE TRIED TO BE GREEN BEAN.
346
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,841
DIDN'T MAKE IT."
347
00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:32,379
- ROCK AND ROLL.
348
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,949
YOU GET ROCK AND ROLL.
349
00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:36,107
- I LEARNED EVERYTHING
FROM THOSE OLD BLUES
350
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,816
AND FOLK GUYS, MAN.
351
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,218
- I MEAN,
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE US
352
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:42,889
OR THE STONES OR, UH, AC/DC.
353
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:46,989
NONE OF THAT HAPPENS WITHOUT
YODELIN' SAMMY WATKINS.
354
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,263
- ♪ THERE'S A JUNE BUG
ON MY SHOULDER ♪
355
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,162
♪ AND A CRICKET UP MY SLEEVE ♪
356
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,404
♪ I GOT A COCKROACH
ON MY NECKTIE ♪
357
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,530
♪ THERE'S BUGS ALL OVER ME ♪
358
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:58,995
[sloppy guitar music]
359
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:01,405
♪ ♪
360
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,338
- "THERE'S A JUNE BUG
ON MY SHOULDER.
361
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,983
THERE'S A CRICKET UP MY SLEEVE."
362
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,608
OKAY, THAT'S ROCK AND ROLL.
363
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,453
- WHEN I WAS GROWING UP,
A LOT OF MY FRIENDS
364
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,578
WERE LISTENING TO HIP-HOP
OR PUNK ROCK,
365
00:14:10,584 --> 00:14:11,554
AND I DON'T KNOW.
366
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,051
IT JUST DIDN'T REALLY DO IT
FOR ME,
367
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:15,553
BUT THEN I HEARD
GREEN BEAN FLOYD'S
368
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,285
POSSUM PUDDLE.
369
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:19,291
I GOT THAT.
370
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,132
- ♪ OLD HARRY WAS A POSSUM ♪
371
00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:23,127
♪ WITH A WHITE TONGUE PLAIN ♪
372
00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:24,429
♪ BUT WHEN HE CAME A-SWIMMIN' ♪
373
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,161
♪ HE WAS LAUGHIN'
IN THE RAIN ♪
374
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,996
♪ IN THE BACK YARD
IN THE PUDDLE ♪
375
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,201
♪ BY THE DRAIN... ♪
376
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,302
- AND IT HURT ME RIGHT HERE.
377
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:33,173
HURT ME GOOD,
AND I GOT--I WAS HOOKED.
378
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,573
- OH, BOY.
LOOK AT THAT ONE.
379
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,574
TENDERFOOT WILLIAMS.
GOD.
380
00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:39,176
THERE'S A SONG ON HERE
ABOUT A JUNE BUG
381
00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:40,579
JOINING A BASEBALL TEAM.
382
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,350
SLICK KIP WIMPTON.
383
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,349
AH, GOD.
384
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:46,150
THIS ONE'S ABOUT
TWO INCHWORMS ON A DATE.
385
00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:47,192
- SO IN RUNNING FOR BLOOD,
386
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,347
I WAS DOING THIS KIND OF THING.
387
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:51,355
[fast electric guitar music]
388
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,218
KAP HAPLAN WAS KIND OF A...
389
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:56,486
[folksy guitar music]
390
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:59,556
♪ ♪
391
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:03,496
- YOU CAN HEAR THESE GUYS ACROSS
ALL TYPES OF MUSIC THESE DAYS.
392
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:04,573
IT'S A TRIP, MAN.
393
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:05,941
[cheers and applause]
394
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:09,139
[wild dubstep music]
395
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:10,582
♪ ♪
396
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,337
- HERE'S MY TRACK,
NASTY BIZNASS.
397
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:16,406
[wild dubstep music]
398
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,076
NOW, HERE'S
SKEETER CLEET CALLAHAN'S
399
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,245
WALKIN' 'ROUND IN MUD.
400
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,253
- ♪ OH, THE TATER BUG ♪
401
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,224
SAID TO THE LITTERBUG
402
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,062
LET'S BAKE US A BRAMBLE PIE
403
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,957
♪ THE LITTERBUG
SAID TO THE TATER BUG ♪
404
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,689
♪ WE CAN DO IT
ON THE FOURTH OF JULY ♪
405
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:32,234
♪ MM-HMM-HMM-HMM
HMM-HMM-HMM-HMM ♪
406
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:35,232
- YOU HEAR THAT?
IT'S LIKE THE SAME SONG.
407
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,095
- CALE DONK,
I MEAN, THAT GUY
408
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:41,213
WAS METAL 50, 60 YEARS
BEFORE ANYONE.
409
00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:47,505
- WHISTLING?
410
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,284
THAT'S PRETTY METAL.
411
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,322
- ♪ I MADE A $1.10 ♪
412
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,547
♪ COLLECTIN' OLD CANS ♪
413
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:52,651
♪ WIM-TIM-LADDIE-TOTTIE ♪
414
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:53,582
♪ WHITTLE-TEE-DEE ♪
415
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:54,686
♪ WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT ♪
416
00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:55,988
♪ THERE'S A BUG ON ME ♪
417
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:59,019
♪ HOO, THERE'S A BUG ON ME ♪
418
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:00,985
♪ THERE'S A BUG ON ME ♪
419
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:02,264
- THAT IS REAL MUSIC, OKAY?
420
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:05,162
IF YOU LISTEN TO A SONG
LIKE THAT ON THE RADIO TODAY,
421
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,395
PEOPLE COULDN'T LISTEN TO IT.
422
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,029
THEY WOULDN'T ACCEPT IT
BECAUSE IT'S TOO REAL.
423
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:11,044
- IT ALWAYS SOUNDED TO ME LIKE
RATTLIN' CAM HOLLINS WAS ALWAYS
424
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:13,667
FIGHTING WITH HIS GUITAR,
JUST TRYING TO RIP THAT TRUTH
425
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:17,343
AND THAT EMOTION,
THOSE GUTS RIGHT OUT OF IT, MAN.
426
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,044
I DON'T KNOW HOW HE DID IT.
427
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:22,405
[clumsy plucking on guitar]
428
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,575
- WHOO.
429
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,054
WHOO!
430
00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:27,292
♪ ♪
431
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,417
- THIS IS BILLY FRICKLMAN,
FOLKS, OKAY?
432
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,122
THIS IS THE ORIGINAL BUG MAN.
433
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:36,164
ROCK AND ROLL FOR THE PAST
70 YEARS IS DUE TO THIS MAN.
434
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,702
- ♪ THERE'S A CRICKET
ON MY KNEE ♪
435
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,027
AND MY KNEE ON A CRICKET
436
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,702
[singing indistinctly]
437
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,031
- TELL US ABOUT THE BUGS.
438
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,496
TELL US ABOUT
WHAT BUGS YOU GOT--
439
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,574
- [high-pitched mumbling]
440
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:46,702
- WHAT'S IN YOUR CAN?
441
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:49,406
- [high-pitched mumbling]
442
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,779
- ALL RIGHT.
443
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:53,508
[hums]
444
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,753
SEE, THIS IS IT.
445
00:16:54,748 --> 00:16:57,178
[laughs]
446
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,118
- I TEND TO THINK WE'RE SORT OF
447
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,120
CARRYING THE TORCH
FOR THESE OLD TIMERS.
448
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,622
I REALLY DO.
I REALLY DO.
449
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,293
- CALE'S SAYING "[bleep] YOU.
450
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:06,191
I'M WHISTLIN'.
451
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,192
I'M NOT GONNA [bleep] PLAY
AN INSTRUMENT.
452
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,434
I'M GONNA [bleep] WHISTLE."
453
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:10,659
THAT'S WHAT I'M LIKE.
454
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:11,603
THAT'S WHAT I DO.
455
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:15,498
- I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVER HAD
A CRICKET UP YOUR SLEEVE?
456
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,202
RIGHT.
NEITHER HAVE I.
457
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,703
BUT THAT'S WHAT--
458
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,165
[laughs]
459
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:23,373
THAT WAS WHAT THEY WERE
EXPERIENCING.
460
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:23,806
[laughs]
461
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:26,510
IN THEIR LIVES AT THE TIME.
462
00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:34,053
[laughs]
463
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,054
OH.
464
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,686
OH.
465
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,630
WE OWE THEM EVERYTHING.
466
00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:53,501
[laughter]
467
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,136
- BOYS!
BOYS.
468
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:56,771
SHOULDN'T YOU BE IN CHURCH?
469
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:57,836
MASS IS ABOUT TO START.
470
00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:59,584
- WE'RE NOT GOIN' TO CHURCH,
FATHER.
471
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,249
WE'RE TAKING A PERSONAL DAY.
472
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:01,807
[laughter]
473
00:18:01,815 --> 00:18:02,775
- BOYS, YOU DON'T WANT
474
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,782
TO GO TO HELL WHEN YOU DIE,
DO YOU?
475
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:07,124
- HELL DOESN'T SOUND
TOO SCARY TO ME.
476
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,690
COULDN'T BE WORSE THAN CHURCH.
477
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,658
[laughter]
478
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,387
- IT'S MUCH WORSE THAN THAT,
MITCHELL.
479
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:15,392
IT'S A TERRIBLE, AWFUL PLACE.
480
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:16,385
- OOH.
481
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:17,496
- COME ON, GUYS.
482
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:18,797
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
483
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,398
- ALL RIGHT.
484
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,500
- YOU'LL BE SORRY.
485
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,131
- LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
486
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,636
[all cheering]
487
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,437
[tires squealing]
488
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:29,139
[crashing]
489
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:40,591
- WHERE ARE WE?
490
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,417
- I DON'T KNOW,
BUT IT'S REALLY HOT.
491
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:45,222
I'D SAY LOW 90'S,
AND IT'S A DRY HEAT
492
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,815
LIKE PALM SPRINGS.
493
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:49,156
- OH, WHAT HAPPENED?
494
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:49,832
- I DON'T KNOW.
495
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,799
LAST THING I REMEMBER
WAS LOSING CONTROL
496
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:55,268
OF MY SWEET CAR,
AND NOW THIS.
497
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:56,498
- OH, MY GOD.
498
00:18:56,503 --> 00:19:00,373
YOU GUYS DON'T THINK
WE'RE IN HELL, DO YOU?
499
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:01,273
- [gasps]
500
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:03,144
OH, NO! A BAT!
501
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:05,513
[all yelling]
502
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:08,246
- YIKES.
503
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,818
- THAT WAS CLOSE.
- YEAH.
504
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,377
OH, NO!
A--A SPIDER!
505
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:18,386
[all yelling]
506
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:18,861
- [gasps]
507
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:21,158
OH, NO!
A SINGLE FLAME!
508
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,291
[all yelling]
509
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,155
- A PIT!
510
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:24,633
[all yelling]
511
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:32,771
- [wicked laughing]
512
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,212
HELLO, BOYS.
513
00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:35,307
WELCOME TO HELL.
514
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:36,408
I'M THE DEVIL.
515
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:39,779
[all yelling]
516
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:41,406
- THE DEVIL?
517
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,354
OKAY, NOW, THAT IS SCARY.
- YEAH.
518
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,819
- THIS IS AN AWFUL, SCARY PLACE.
519
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:47,318
LOTS OF BAD STUFF HERE.
520
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,590
WE CAN--THERE'S A SPIDER.
521
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:49,348
[all whimpering]
522
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,755
- THE FLAME.
A COUPLE FLAMES.
523
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:51,587
[all gasping]
524
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,491
- LET'S SEE, UH, THERE'S A BAT.
525
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,893
UH, I BELIEVE THERE'S A PIT,
526
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:59,225
AND YOU'RE GONNA BE HERE
FOR ETERNITY, SO.
527
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:01,402
[all yelling]
528
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,301
- PLEASE, GOD.
PLEASE FORGIVE US.
529
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:04,303
WE DIDN'T MEAN TO BE BAD.
530
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:08,374
PLEASE TAKE US AWAY FROM THIS
DARK AND SCARY PLACE.
531
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,984
- AH, COME ON.
532
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,677
WHATEVER.
533
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,550
- WHOA.
534
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:20,418
- GUYS, I THINK WE'RE IN HEAVEN.
535
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,950
- YES.
536
00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:23,585
YOU ARE IN HEAVEN.
537
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,320
WELCOME, BOYS.
538
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:26,755
[laughs]
539
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:27,759
- THANK GOD.
540
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,460
HELL WAS JUST TOO SCARY.
541
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:30,262
- YEAH.
542
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:34,303
- WAIT, THERE'S NOT A BAT
UP HERE, IS HERE?
543
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:35,270
- OH, YES.
544
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:35,928
WE HAVE A BAT.
545
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:38,265
BUT WE KEEP HIM IN A BAT CAGE.
546
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:39,271
PERFECTLY SA.
547
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,242
[all sighing]
548
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,270
- YOU CAN LOOK AT HIM.
549
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:42,414
- AND THERE'S NO FLAME.
550
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,978
- OH, YES, WE HAD A FLAME,
BUT WE EXTINGUISHED IT.
551
00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:47,879
SEE?
IT USED TO BE OVER THERE.
552
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,680
TOOK CARE OF IT.
MM-HMM.
553
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:50,982
- WHAT ABOUT A PIT?
554
00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:51,954
- THERE IS A PIT.
555
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:53,351
PEOPLE HATE THE PIT.
556
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:55,553
THAT'S WHY WE FILLED IT
WITH SAND, SEE?
557
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,985
YOU CAN BARELY TELL
IT USED TO BE RIGHT THERE.
558
00:20:57,991 --> 00:20:58,961
- GOOD.
- MM-HMM.
559
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,688
- WELL, EVERYTHING HERE
SEEMS GREAT.
560
00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:02,293
- OH, THANK YOU.
- WELL, HOLD ON.
561
00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:03,555
ONE LAST QUESTION.
- HM?
562
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,333
- THERE'S NOT A SPIDER HERE,
IS THERE?
563
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:07,331
- OH, YES.
THERE IS A SPIDER.
564
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:11,543
BUT WE KEEP IT IN THE--
IT'S OWN SPIDER CAGE RIGHT--
565
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:12,967
OH, WAIT A MINUTE.
566
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:16,842
THE SPIDER CAGE IS EMPTY.
567
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:17,913
[yells]
568
00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:19,310
THE SPIDER GOT OUT!
569
00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:21,582
[all yelling]
570
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:24,381
- ♪ WELL, UP IN HEAVEN
GOD STARTED TO SHOUT ♪
571
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:27,954
♪ THEY ALL GOT SCARED 'CAUSE
THE SPIDER HE GOT AWAY ♪
572
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,624
♪ THE SPIDER'S
OUT OF HIS CAGE ♪
573
00:21:37,996 --> 00:21:40,996
[boisterous rock music]
574
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,970
- ♪ WAY DOWN YONDER
IN TENNESSEE ♪
575
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:46,940
♪ I WENT A-COURTIN'
WITH A BUMBLE BEE ♪
576
00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:48,909
♪ SHE WORE A BONNET
MADE OF SATIN ♪
577
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:50,678
♪ AND A DRESS SO BLUE ♪
578
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,977
♪ I WORE A VEST AND A PUMPKIN ♪
579
00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:55,579
♪ FOR A SHOE ♪
580
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:58,422
- ♪ WHEN WE GOT MARRIED ♪
581
00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:00,518
♪ ALL THE GUESTS
BROUGHT MOONSHINE ♪
582
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,720
♪ AND I DID A LITTLE DANCE ♪
583
00:22:02,722 --> 00:22:04,592
♪ I PUT MY SHIRT ON BACKWARDS ♪
584
00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:05,990
♪ AND A TOAD ON MY SHOULDER ♪
585
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:09,432
♪ OOH, THERE'S CRICKETS
IN MY PANTS ♪
586
00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:10,029
- HOO!
587
00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:11,359
- ♪ MY DARLIN' IS A BUG ♪
588
00:22:11,364 --> 00:22:12,404
♪ MY DARLIN' IS A BUG-- ♪
589
00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:14,428
- THESE GUYS ARE REALLY JAMMIN'.
- YEAH.
590
00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:17,544
YOU KNOW, I WAS SUPPOSED TO SEE
THESE GUYS AT FREDONIA FEST.
591
00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:19,037
- REALLY?
HOW WERE THEY?
592
00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:22,638
- WOULDN'T KNOW.
I MISSED IT.
593
00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:25,482
- HM.
- YEAH.
594
00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:31,718
- ♪ I SQUISHED MY DARLIN'
WHEN I GAVE HER A HUG ♪
40047
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