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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,302 --> 00:00:04,372 [doorbell rings] 2 00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:07,612 - THE TICKETS. 3 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:08,568 - WHAT TICKETS? 4 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:09,536 - I GOT US TWO TICKETS 5 00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:12,543 TO THE FREDONIA DESERT MUSIC FESTIVAL. 6 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,176 - OH. 7 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,281 - YUP. 8 00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:16,382 THAT'S THEM. 9 00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:19,524 [quirky music] 10 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,190 ♪ ♪ 11 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,058 OH. HERE'S A TICKET. 12 00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,117 [laughs] 13 00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,385 "THIS IS NOT A TICKET." 14 00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:27,334 HM. 15 00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:30,458 [quirky music] 16 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,734 ♪ ♪ 17 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,233 NOW, THIS! 18 00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:35,325 [groans] 19 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,566 THEY REALLY GO ALL OUT. 20 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:40,241 THIS IS A CRATE. 21 00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,411 GO GET THE CROWBAR. 22 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,140 - ALL I COULD FIND IS A CROWBAR. 23 00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:45,575 - THANKS. 24 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:54,049 ♪ ♪ 25 00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:56,815 - FOLLOW ME. 26 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,260 - NO, DON'T. 27 00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:05,063 - IS THIS THE FESTIVAL? 28 00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:05,726 - NO. 29 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:06,633 COME, DANIEL. 30 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:07,504 WE HAVE MUCH TO DO. 31 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,401 - IN THE MEADOW OF SOUND YOU WILL FIND A ROCK. 32 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,203 ON THAT ROCK YOU WILL FIND THE TINIEST SEED. 33 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:15,666 NOW, TAKE THE COMPLIMENTARY SHUTTLE HOME. 34 00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,406 - COME ON. 35 00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:23,421 [doorbell rings] 36 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,077 - WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 37 00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:31,186 ♪ ♪ 38 00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:32,762 - THE LEAVES ARE THE TICKETS. 39 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:36,860 THE LEAVES ARE THE TICKETS! 40 00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:39,534 - NO, THEY'RE NOT. 41 00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:43,473 [laid back rock music] 42 00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:51,711 ♪ ♪ 43 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:54,506 [warped music] 44 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:55,775 - LISTEN WITH YOUR EARS, 45 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,453 NOT YOUR EYES. 46 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,121 HEAR IT FOR THE FIRST TIME. 47 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,190 DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M DOING? 48 00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,517 I'M SPINNING THE RECORD BACKWARDS 49 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,322 AND IT SOUNDS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. 50 00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:07,434 SO A SIMPLE SHIFT IN PERSPECTIVE CAN TAKE WHAT WAS ONCE FAMILIAR 51 00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:10,198 AND MAKE IT SEEM LIKE A REVELATION. 52 00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:13,497 YOUR HOMEWORK IS TO WALK HOME BLINDFOLDED 53 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:16,471 AND LIST EVERYTHING YOU SMELLED. 54 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,140 - OH. 55 00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:21,668 - AND REMEMBER TO RAGE AGAINST THE SILENCE 56 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,305 AND RATTLE THOSE CAGES! 57 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:25,681 LET ME HEAR YOU! 58 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,249 RAGE! 59 00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:28,308 COME ON! 60 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,915 RATTLE THOSE CAGES! 61 00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,517 HIT THOSE DESKS! 62 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:32,919 I CAN'T HEAR YOU, MR. ROBLING. 63 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,650 - YEAH! - COME ON, MR. KIRCHUCK! 64 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:36,516 [yelling] 65 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,494 GET DOWN ON THE GROUND, MAHONIE! 66 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,362 GIVE ME A HULA, MR. SPENCER! 67 00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:42,832 - [howls] 68 00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:44,926 - MR. TURNER, WHAT IS GOING ON? 69 00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:48,672 WHY ARE THESE BOYS MAKING SUCH A RACKET? 70 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,939 - WHY, BECAUSE I ASKED THEM TO, HEADMASTER PRIMWICK, 71 00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:54,709 BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO WOULD RATHER 72 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:56,208 THEY QUIETLY LAY DOWN THEIR MINDS 73 00:02:56,210 --> 00:03:00,350 AT THE ALTER OF YESTERDAY'S REGURGITATED TRIPE. 74 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,277 - THAT'S IT, MR. TURNER. 75 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,653 YOU'RE FIRED. 76 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,921 PACK YOUR THINGS AND LEAVE. 77 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:13,430 BOYS, I'M TAKING OVER THIS CLASS EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. 78 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:16,527 - SORRY, BOYS. 79 00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:19,872 - WAIT! 80 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,227 YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE, HEADMASTER PRIMWICK. 81 00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:23,396 - YOU GET DOWN, MR. FOWLER. 82 00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,974 - SURE, MR. TURNER'S TEACHING METHODS 83 00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:27,642 MAY HAVE BEEN A LITTLE UNORTHODOX, 84 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:32,241 BUT WAS HE SO WRONG? 85 00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,506 IS IT SO WRONG THAT HE TOOK US 86 00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:35,554 BEYOND THE CONFINES OF THE CLASSROOM, 87 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:40,789 LEADING US OUTSIDE, OFF THE PATH, THROUGH A MEADOW, 88 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:44,218 BY A BOG, AND DIRECTLY INTO A THICKET 89 00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:45,955 FILLED WITH THISTLES? 90 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,290 - WHAT? 91 00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:48,534 - THISTLES. 92 00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:50,659 - THISTLES. SHARP LITTLE-- 93 00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:53,474 - YES, THAT'S WRONG! 94 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:56,237 - WAS HE SO WRONG TO HAVE US TEAR THE PAGES OUT 95 00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:59,837 OF OUR MUSTY OLD TEXTBOOKS, PASTING THEM TOGETHER 96 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,410 INTO A SERIES OF SHORTER BOOKS, 97 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,538 WHICH HE IN TURN SOLD AT A LOCAL STORE? 98 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:05,405 - YES, THAT'S WRONG. 99 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:08,352 - IS IT SO WRONG THAT HE OPENED OUR EYES 100 00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:09,949 TO THE WORKS OF MELVILLE? 101 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,320 - HERMAN MELVILLE. 102 00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:12,818 WELL, NO THAT'S-- - NO. 103 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:15,920 MR. TURNER'S COUSIN, MEL VILLE, 104 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,963 WHO IS IN THE STATE PENITENTIARY 105 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,628 FOR PIGEON RACING. 106 00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:22,587 - PIGEON RACING? 107 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,756 - WE'RE WORKING ON THE APPEAL. 108 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,304 - IS IT SO WRONG THAT HE SPENT HOURS 109 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,570 REGALING US WITH NOT ONLY CLASSIC TALES 110 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,799 BUT NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE? 111 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,435 - THE COMPLETE BOX SET. 112 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,770 - HEADMASTER PRIMWICK, WHAT I THINK 113 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:39,745 THEY'RE TRYING TO ASK IS, IS IT SO UNFORGIVEABLE 114 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,777 THAT I BROKE FREE OF YOUR PRECIOUS CURRICULUM 115 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:46,493 BY REPLACING THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK 116 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:49,547 WITH THE DIARY OF FRANK CALIENDO? 117 00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:52,656 AND FURTHER STILL, IS IT SO WRONG 118 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,960 THAT I BASED THE ENTIRE MIDTERM ON THAT BOOK, 119 00:04:54,962 --> 00:05:01,002 AND PRINTED SAID MIDTERM ON NOT PAPER, BUT WHAT, BOYS? 120 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,001 all: SLICES OF TURKEY. 121 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,003 - YOU BROKE THE COPY MACHINE! 122 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,765 - GUILTY AS CHARGED. 123 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:08,514 - MR. TURNER, THERE IS A LINE, 124 00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,839 AND YOU CROSSED IT SOME TIME AGO. 125 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,944 - YOU TALKING ABOUT THE PUBE CONTEST? 126 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:13,876 - WHAT PUBE CONTEST? 127 00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:17,421 - MR. TURNER CHALLENGED US TO CATALOGUE OUR PUBES-- 128 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,878 LENGTH, WIDTH, AND CURLINESS-- 129 00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:22,046 ALL USING THE DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM. 130 00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:25,316 I'M NEARLY FINISHED. 131 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:26,456 SEE? 132 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,030 - NICE JOB. 133 00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:30,827 - MR. TURNER, IS THIS TRUE? 134 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,631 - ALL'S I CAN SAY IS... 135 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:34,634 YUP. 136 00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,365 - MR. TURNER, YOU WILL LEAVE 137 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,470 AND YOU WILL NOT COME BACK. 138 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:41,071 YOU'VE PROVEN YOU DO NOT CARE ABOUT THESE CHILDREN. 139 00:05:41,075 --> 00:05:44,735 - HEADMASTER PRIMWICK, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, 140 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,845 BUT DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT I DON'T CARE 141 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,107 ABOUT THESE KIDS OR THAT WHAT I DO 142 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:53,086 HAS NO EDUCATIONAL VALUE OR THAT I LACK CHARACTER 143 00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:59,087 BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE BEING TOLD WHAT I ALREADY KNOW. 144 00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:00,593 NOW, COME ON, GENTLEMEN. 145 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,934 WE'VE GOT A CONTEST TO FINISH! 146 00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:03,930 [all cheering] 147 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,801 - LET'S GO! 148 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,069 - YEAH! 149 00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:13,769 - WHAT KIND OF A FEATURE FILM IS THIS? 150 00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:18,780 - HEY. 151 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,479 WHY SO BLUE, BROTHERS? 152 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:21,411 - HEY, HEATH. 153 00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,005 WE'RE JUST MISSING OUT ON THE BIGGEST 154 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,516 CONCERT EVENT OF THE SUMMER. 155 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:25,948 - THE LEAVES WEREN'T THE TICKETS. 156 00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:27,693 - [scoffs] THAT'S NOTHING. 157 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:31,758 1969, 100,000 DREAMERS DESCEND UPON A DAIRY FARM 158 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:35,089 IN UPSTATE NEW YORK FOR THREE DAYS OF PEACE, LOVE, 159 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:39,865 AND LEGENDARY MUSIC, AND I WASN'T THERE. 160 00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:40,797 - WHOA. 161 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:41,801 YOU MISSED WOODSTOCK? 162 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,102 - THEY SAY IF YOU REMEMBER IT, YOU WEREN'T THERE. 163 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:49,914 WELL, I DON'T REMEMBER IT AND I WASN'T THERE. 164 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:53,410 - RIGHT. - 1967, MONTEREY POP FESTIVAL. 165 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,954 JIMMY HENDRIX LIGHTS HIS GUITARS ON FIRE, 166 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:59,919 AND I'M THIS CLOSE TO GETTING TICKETS. 167 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,690 - WELL, DID YOU GET 'EM? - NOPE. 168 00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:05,658 I WAS IN OHIO VISITING A COUSIN OF A FRIEND. 169 00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:06,489 - BADASS. 170 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,963 - BUT LIFE HAS A WAY OF BALANCING OUT. 171 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,862 WHEN THE BEATLES SOLD OUT SHEA STADIUM, 172 00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:13,474 I GOT THE LAST TICKET OF THE NIGHT. 173 00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:14,497 - WOW. - YEAH. 174 00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:16,701 I WAS DOUBLE-PARKED AND PELL AVENUE 175 00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,443 RIGHT IN FRONT OF A FIRE HYDRANT. 176 00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:19,769 - THE LAST PARKING TICKET OF THE NIGHT? 177 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,773 - THE LAST PARKING TICKET OF THE NIGHT. 178 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,605 THE WHO LIVE AT LEEDS. 179 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,580 ME? ALONE AT HOME. 180 00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:26,679 FRAMPTON COMES ALIVE. 181 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,510 I SPENT THE WEEKEND AT MY GRANDMA'S FRIEND'S HOUSE 182 00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:30,676 SLEEPIN' ON A PLASTIC COUCH. 183 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:34,094 YEAH, THE ONLY CONCERT I EVER MADE WAS ALTAMONT. 184 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:34,917 FRONT ROW. 185 00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:37,822 MY BEST FRIEND WAS MURDERED BY A HELL'S ANGEL. 186 00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:38,485 - WOW. 187 00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,692 - WELL, CATCH YOU ON THE FLIP-FLOP, BOYS. 188 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,164 BY THE WAY, WEAR FLIP-FLOPS. 189 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,702 THEY'RE GOOD FOR YOUR SPINE. 190 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,757 - SEE YOU, HEATH. 191 00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:48,666 - I HATE THAT GUY. 192 00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:58,883 - LET'S BE FRANK: THE DIARY OF FRANK CALIENDO. 193 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:02,049 CHAPTER ONE. "I AM BORN." 194 00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:02,649 GO! 195 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:06,149 - IT WAS A COLD JANUARY MORNING. - AS CHRIS ROCK! 196 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,923 - [imitates Chris Rock] I CAN'T BELIEVE 197 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,021 THE BABY CAME OUT THAT UGLY. 198 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,222 - TELL ME, WHY WAS IT UGLY, CHRIS? 199 00:08:10,224 --> 00:08:12,724 - [imitates Chris Rock] IT WAS--SEE, THAT LOOK LIKE 200 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:13,786 SOMETHING OUT OF PREDATOR. 201 00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:15,534 - AND WHAT DID JOHN MADDEN THINK OF THIS BABY? 202 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,659 - [imitates John Madden] I-I WOULD HAVE EATEN IT. 203 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,064 I MEAN, THAT'S THE KIND OF-- 204 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:19,996 [laughter] 205 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,700 - HANG ON. HANG ON A SECOND. 206 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:22,872 "EATEN THE BABY." 207 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,970 YOUR FIRST TIME WITH A WOMAN AS JEFF GOLDBLUM. 208 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,142 - [imitates Jeff Goldblum] AH, VERY WEIRD. 209 00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,070 - AS ROBIN WILLIAMS. 210 00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,665 - [imitates Robin Williams] OH, MY GOODNESS! 211 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,536 - SANDLER! - [imitates Adam Sandler] MOMMY! 212 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,505 - I WANT MY CLINTON! 213 00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:35,013 - [imitates Bill Clinton] I WOULD JUST STOP AT A CLUB 214 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,715 AND SAY HELLO TO THE LADIES. 215 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:37,747 [laughter] 216 00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,991 - TELL ME HOW YOU DIE, AL PACINO. 217 00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:45,057 - [imitates Al Pacino] THAT BUS WAS COMING AT 200 MILES AN HOUR! 218 00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,588 IT WAS COMIN' AT ME 65. 219 00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,233 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN'... 220 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:52,098 THIS IS A PLACE YOU NEVER WANT TO BE! 221 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:54,169 - "WANT TO BE." 222 00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:58,268 - I AM THE KEY MASTER. ARE YOU THE GATE KEEPER? 223 00:08:58,272 --> 00:08:59,142 - [laughs] 224 00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,309 GHOSTBUSTERS! I LOVE IT! 225 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,549 - HEY, TO MIKE, WHO, STARTING TOMORROW, 226 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:13,590 WILL NO LONGER BE THE WILD AND CRAZY GUY WE ONCE KNEW. 227 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:14,747 - ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU. 228 00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,115 - WE'RE JUST GOOFING AROUND, MIKE. 229 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:17,923 LAUREN'S A GREAT GIRL, AND YOU'RE GONNA LOVE 230 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:22,225 MARRIED LIFE, BUT FIRST, WE'VE GOT A LITTLE SURPRISE. 231 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,999 - STRIPPERS! - WHAT? NO. 232 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,728 - AW, YEAH! 233 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,133 - WHOO! 234 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:29,865 - WHOA! 235 00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,000 - ALL RIGHT! 236 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,204 YEAH! 237 00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,005 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! STOP! 238 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,167 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 239 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,736 GUYS. 240 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,214 WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE? 241 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,282 - WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, MIKE? 242 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,881 - WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 243 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:47,994 WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? 244 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,248 YOU GOT STRIPPERS. 245 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,756 I PROMISED LAUREN THERE WEREN'T GONNA BE 246 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:52,788 STRIPPERS AT THIS THING. 247 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,933 - MIKE, THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE A BACHELOR PARTY. 248 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,628 FOR THE STRIPPERS! - YEAH! 249 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,200 - AND WE'RE NOT GONNA TELL OUR WIVES. 250 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,298 YOU THINK I WANT KIM KNOWING 251 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,029 I WAS PARTYING WITH STRIPPERS? 252 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,074 NO THANKS. 253 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,369 - [sighs] 254 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:10,379 ALL RIGHT, BUT LAUREN CANNOT FIND OUT ABOUT THIS. 255 00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:11,937 [all cheering] 256 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,305 - ALL RIGHT! 257 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,113 - YEAH! 258 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,984 - ALL RIGHT! - YEAH! 259 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,383 - THE STRIPPERS ARE STRIPPING! 260 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,685 - THESE ARE SOME GREAT STRIPPERS, JEFF. 261 00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:22,117 VERY SEXY. - YEAH! 262 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,662 - YEAH, WHERE'D YOU FIND 'EM, JEFF? 263 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,317 - I JUST CALLED ONE OF THOSE NUMBERS IN THE PHONE BOOK 264 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:29,825 AND SAID, "HEY, GIVE ME THE TWO SEXIEST STRIPPERS YOU GOT." 265 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,200 - THEY'RE SEXY, ALL RIGHT. 266 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,998 HEY, GUYS, FOR AN EXTRA 50 BUCKS, 267 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,100 YOU CAN TAKE ONE IN THE BACK AND, YOU KNOW, SCREW! 268 00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:39,973 - KNOCK-A-DA BOOTS! - YOU ARE COMING WITH ME! 269 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,943 - WHOO! - HOO-HOO-HOO! 270 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:42,972 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 271 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,776 WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE. TIM, TIM, TIM. 272 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,948 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, MAN? 273 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:47,707 - WHAT? 274 00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,854 - I NEVER THOUGHT YOU WERE THAT TYPE OF GUY. 275 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:53,180 THE TYPE OF GUY WHO WOULD CHEAT ON HIS WIFE. 276 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,316 COME ON. 277 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,721 - [sighs] 278 00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:56,992 NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. 279 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:57,820 I'M SORRY. 280 00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:01,194 I CAN'T DO THAT TO MEG, BUT IF I WASN'T MARRIED... 281 00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:04,234 - OH, I'D SAY "PLOW AWAY." SURE, SURE. 282 00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:05,201 - GOD, LOOK AT JEFF. 283 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,028 THAT LUCKY GUY'S NOT MARRIED, HUH? 284 00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:09,374 - WELL, COME ON. LET'S GET BACK TO IT. 285 00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:12,099 - HERE WE GO! - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 286 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:12,935 STOP THE MUSIC! 287 00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:15,369 JEFF, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS? 288 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,375 - YEAH. I'VE BAGGED TONS OF STRIPPERS. 289 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,377 CANDY, CRYSTAL, SAMANTHA. 290 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:20,249 - OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 291 00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:22,877 BUT IS THERE SOMETHING MAYBE A LITTLE DIFFERENT 292 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:25,223 ABOUT THIS STRIPPER? 293 00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:29,222 - BLONDE HAIR? - EXACTLY. 294 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,222 YOU'RE A BRUNETTE MAN. 295 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:33,263 WE ALL KNOW HOW MUCH THAT BRUNETTE STREAK MEANS TO YOU. 296 00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:34,990 - THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A HUGE MISTAKE. 297 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,255 GOT TO KEEP MY STREAK ALIVE, BABY. 298 00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,334 - YES. NOW, PLEASE. 299 00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:43,971 LET'S ALL JUST WATCH THE SEXY STRIPPERS STRIP FOR US, OKAY? 300 00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:45,170 CRANK IT UP! 301 00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,142 - HE'S DOING THE PECK THING! 302 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,240 - IT IS PRETTY COOL. 303 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,271 - YEAH! - HEY. 304 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:51,206 I THINK I'M GONNA TAKE OFF. - WHAT? 305 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,711 HEY, YOU'RE NOT WORRIED YOUR BOYFRIEND BILL 306 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:54,484 IS GONNA FIND OUT. 307 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:56,281 - NAH, I'M JUST NOT THAT INTO THE ACT 308 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,853 OF TAKING CLOTHES OFF TO TECHNO MUSIC. 309 00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,022 IT'S JUST NOT FOR ME. 310 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:04,760 - WELL, THAT MAKES ONE OF US, BECAUSE I LOVE IT. 311 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:05,988 - MIKE? 312 00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,392 - OH, SHIT. - LAUREN! 313 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,064 - WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? 314 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,833 - IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. - NO? 315 00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,302 OKAY, WELL WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS, 316 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,170 BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE MY FIANCE IS A CLOSETED-- 317 00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:19,039 - STRIPPER ENTHUSIAST. - RIGHT. 318 00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:20,809 OKAY, I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE ATTRACTED TO-- 319 00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:24,237 - THE IDEA OF HAVING STRIPPERS AT MY BACHELOR PARTY? 320 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,114 - EXACTLY. 321 00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:26,182 THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE GONNA 322 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,509 GET MARRIED KNOWING YOU'RE-- 323 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:30,484 - VERY HAPPY GETTING A LAP DANCE. 324 00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:34,124 LOOK, LAUREN, I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET, 325 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:38,021 BUT THIS IS WHAT GUYS DO AT BACHELOR PARTIES. 326 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:39,424 WE GET STRIPPERS. 327 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,926 - LAUREN, IT WAS MY IDEA. 328 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,287 MIKE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. 329 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:46,225 ALL HE DID TONIGHT WAS TALK ABOUT YOU. 330 00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,303 - I LOVE YOU, LAUREN. 331 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,341 - OH, MIKE. 332 00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:54,310 ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH OF THIS LOVEY-DOVEY JUNK. 333 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:58,077 THOSE BEAUTIFUL BUNS AREN'T GONNA STRIP THEMSELVES. 334 00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:01,178 - YEAH! - WHOO! 335 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:03,111 - LAUREN'S THE COOLEST. 336 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,276 - YEAH. 337 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,484 [laughs] 338 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:08,085 WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GREAT MARRIAGE! 339 00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,048 all: YEAH! 340 00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:13,393 [laughter] 341 00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,493 - GREEN BEAN FLOYD. 342 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,425 [laughter] 343 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,230 - I AM A GREEN BEAN FLOYD WANNABE. 344 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,803 THAT'S WHAT THEY SHOULD WRITE ON MY TOMBSTONE. 345 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,973 "HE TRIED TO BE GREEN BEAN. 346 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,841 DIDN'T MAKE IT." 347 00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:32,379 - ROCK AND ROLL. 348 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,949 YOU GET ROCK AND ROLL. 349 00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:36,107 - I LEARNED EVERYTHING FROM THOSE OLD BLUES 350 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,816 AND FOLK GUYS, MAN. 351 00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,218 - I MEAN, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE US 352 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:42,889 OR THE STONES OR, UH, AC/DC. 353 00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:46,989 NONE OF THAT HAPPENS WITHOUT YODELIN' SAMMY WATKINS. 354 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,263 - ♪ THERE'S A JUNE BUG ON MY SHOULDER ♪ 355 00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,162 ♪ AND A CRICKET UP MY SLEEVE ♪ 356 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,404 ♪ I GOT A COCKROACH ON MY NECKTIE ♪ 357 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,530 ♪ THERE'S BUGS ALL OVER ME ♪ 358 00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:58,995 [sloppy guitar music] 359 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:01,405 ♪ ♪ 360 00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,338 - "THERE'S A JUNE BUG ON MY SHOULDER. 361 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,983 THERE'S A CRICKET UP MY SLEEVE." 362 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,608 OKAY, THAT'S ROCK AND ROLL. 363 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,453 - WHEN I WAS GROWING UP, A LOT OF MY FRIENDS 364 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,578 WERE LISTENING TO HIP-HOP OR PUNK ROCK, 365 00:14:10,584 --> 00:14:11,554 AND I DON'T KNOW. 366 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,051 IT JUST DIDN'T REALLY DO IT FOR ME, 367 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:15,553 BUT THEN I HEARD GREEN BEAN FLOYD'S 368 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,285 POSSUM PUDDLE. 369 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:19,291 I GOT THAT. 370 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,132 - ♪ OLD HARRY WAS A POSSUM ♪ 371 00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:23,127 ♪ WITH A WHITE TONGUE PLAIN ♪ 372 00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:24,429 ♪ BUT WHEN HE CAME A-SWIMMIN' ♪ 373 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,161 ♪ HE WAS LAUGHIN' IN THE RAIN ♪ 374 00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,996 ♪ IN THE BACK YARD IN THE PUDDLE ♪ 375 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,201 ♪ BY THE DRAIN... ♪ 376 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,302 - AND IT HURT ME RIGHT HERE. 377 00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:33,173 HURT ME GOOD, AND I GOT--I WAS HOOKED. 378 00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,573 - OH, BOY. LOOK AT THAT ONE. 379 00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,574 TENDERFOOT WILLIAMS. GOD. 380 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:39,176 THERE'S A SONG ON HERE ABOUT A JUNE BUG 381 00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:40,579 JOINING A BASEBALL TEAM. 382 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,350 SLICK KIP WIMPTON. 383 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,349 AH, GOD. 384 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:46,150 THIS ONE'S ABOUT TWO INCHWORMS ON A DATE. 385 00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:47,192 - SO IN RUNNING FOR BLOOD, 386 00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,347 I WAS DOING THIS KIND OF THING. 387 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:51,355 [fast electric guitar music] 388 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,218 KAP HAPLAN WAS KIND OF A... 389 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:56,486 [folksy guitar music] 390 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:59,556 ♪ ♪ 391 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:03,496 - YOU CAN HEAR THESE GUYS ACROSS ALL TYPES OF MUSIC THESE DAYS. 392 00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:04,573 IT'S A TRIP, MAN. 393 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:05,941 [cheers and applause] 394 00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:09,139 [wild dubstep music] 395 00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:10,582 ♪ ♪ 396 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,337 - HERE'S MY TRACK, NASTY BIZNASS. 397 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:16,406 [wild dubstep music] 398 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,076 NOW, HERE'S SKEETER CLEET CALLAHAN'S 399 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,245 WALKIN' 'ROUND IN MUD. 400 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,253 - ♪ OH, THE TATER BUG ♪ 401 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,224 SAID TO THE LITTERBUG 402 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,062 LET'S BAKE US A BRAMBLE PIE 403 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,957 ♪ THE LITTERBUG SAID TO THE TATER BUG ♪ 404 00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,689 ♪ WE CAN DO IT ON THE FOURTH OF JULY ♪ 405 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:32,234 ♪ MM-HMM-HMM-HMM HMM-HMM-HMM-HMM ♪ 406 00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:35,232 - YOU HEAR THAT? IT'S LIKE THE SAME SONG. 407 00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,095 - CALE DONK, I MEAN, THAT GUY 408 00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:41,213 WAS METAL 50, 60 YEARS BEFORE ANYONE. 409 00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:47,505 - WHISTLING? 410 00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,284 THAT'S PRETTY METAL. 411 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,322 - ♪ I MADE A $1.10 ♪ 412 00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,547 ♪ COLLECTIN' OLD CANS ♪ 413 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:52,651 ♪ WIM-TIM-LADDIE-TOTTIE ♪ 414 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:53,582 ♪ WHITTLE-TEE-DEE ♪ 415 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:54,686 ♪ WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT ♪ 416 00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:55,988 ♪ THERE'S A BUG ON ME ♪ 417 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:59,019 ♪ HOO, THERE'S A BUG ON ME ♪ 418 00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:00,985 ♪ THERE'S A BUG ON ME ♪ 419 00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:02,264 - THAT IS REAL MUSIC, OKAY? 420 00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:05,162 IF YOU LISTEN TO A SONG LIKE THAT ON THE RADIO TODAY, 421 00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,395 PEOPLE COULDN'T LISTEN TO IT. 422 00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,029 THEY WOULDN'T ACCEPT IT BECAUSE IT'S TOO REAL. 423 00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:11,044 - IT ALWAYS SOUNDED TO ME LIKE RATTLIN' CAM HOLLINS WAS ALWAYS 424 00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:13,667 FIGHTING WITH HIS GUITAR, JUST TRYING TO RIP THAT TRUTH 425 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:17,343 AND THAT EMOTION, THOSE GUTS RIGHT OUT OF IT, MAN. 426 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,044 I DON'T KNOW HOW HE DID IT. 427 00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:22,405 [clumsy plucking on guitar] 428 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,575 - WHOO. 429 00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,054 WHOO! 430 00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:27,292 ♪ ♪ 431 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,417 - THIS IS BILLY FRICKLMAN, FOLKS, OKAY? 432 00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,122 THIS IS THE ORIGINAL BUG MAN. 433 00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:36,164 ROCK AND ROLL FOR THE PAST 70 YEARS IS DUE TO THIS MAN. 434 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,702 - ♪ THERE'S A CRICKET ON MY KNEE ♪ 435 00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,027 AND MY KNEE ON A CRICKET 436 00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,702 [singing indistinctly] 437 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,031 - TELL US ABOUT THE BUGS. 438 00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,496 TELL US ABOUT WHAT BUGS YOU GOT-- 439 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,574 - [high-pitched mumbling] 440 00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:46,702 - WHAT'S IN YOUR CAN? 441 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:49,406 - [high-pitched mumbling] 442 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,779 - ALL RIGHT. 443 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:53,508 [hums] 444 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,753 SEE, THIS IS IT. 445 00:16:54,748 --> 00:16:57,178 [laughs] 446 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,118 - I TEND TO THINK WE'RE SORT OF 447 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,120 CARRYING THE TORCH FOR THESE OLD TIMERS. 448 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,622 I REALLY DO. I REALLY DO. 449 00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,293 - CALE'S SAYING "[bleep] YOU. 450 00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:06,191 I'M WHISTLIN'. 451 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,192 I'M NOT GONNA [bleep] PLAY AN INSTRUMENT. 452 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,434 I'M GONNA [bleep] WHISTLE." 453 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:10,659 THAT'S WHAT I'M LIKE. 454 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:11,603 THAT'S WHAT I DO. 455 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:15,498 - I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVER HAD A CRICKET UP YOUR SLEEVE? 456 00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,202 RIGHT. NEITHER HAVE I. 457 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,703 BUT THAT'S WHAT-- 458 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,165 [laughs] 459 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:23,373 THAT WAS WHAT THEY WERE EXPERIENCING. 460 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:23,806 [laughs] 461 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:26,510 IN THEIR LIVES AT THE TIME. 462 00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:34,053 [laughs] 463 00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,054 OH. 464 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,686 OH. 465 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,630 WE OWE THEM EVERYTHING. 466 00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:53,501 [laughter] 467 00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,136 - BOYS! BOYS. 468 00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:56,771 SHOULDN'T YOU BE IN CHURCH? 469 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:57,836 MASS IS ABOUT TO START. 470 00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:59,584 - WE'RE NOT GOIN' TO CHURCH, FATHER. 471 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,249 WE'RE TAKING A PERSONAL DAY. 472 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:01,807 [laughter] 473 00:18:01,815 --> 00:18:02,775 - BOYS, YOU DON'T WANT 474 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,782 TO GO TO HELL WHEN YOU DIE, DO YOU? 475 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:07,124 - HELL DOESN'T SOUND TOO SCARY TO ME. 476 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,690 COULDN'T BE WORSE THAN CHURCH. 477 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,658 [laughter] 478 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,387 - IT'S MUCH WORSE THAN THAT, MITCHELL. 479 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:15,392 IT'S A TERRIBLE, AWFUL PLACE. 480 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:16,385 - OOH. 481 00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:17,496 - COME ON, GUYS. 482 00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:18,797 LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 483 00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,398 - ALL RIGHT. 484 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,500 - YOU'LL BE SORRY. 485 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,131 - LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 486 00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,636 [all cheering] 487 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,437 [tires squealing] 488 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:29,139 [crashing] 489 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:40,591 - WHERE ARE WE? 490 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,417 - I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT'S REALLY HOT. 491 00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:45,222 I'D SAY LOW 90'S, AND IT'S A DRY HEAT 492 00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,815 LIKE PALM SPRINGS. 493 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:49,156 - OH, WHAT HAPPENED? 494 00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:49,832 - I DON'T KNOW. 495 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,799 LAST THING I REMEMBER WAS LOSING CONTROL 496 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:55,268 OF MY SWEET CAR, AND NOW THIS. 497 00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:56,498 - OH, MY GOD. 498 00:18:56,503 --> 00:19:00,373 YOU GUYS DON'T THINK WE'RE IN HELL, DO YOU? 499 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:01,273 - [gasps] 500 00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:03,144 OH, NO! A BAT! 501 00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:05,513 [all yelling] 502 00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:08,246 - YIKES. 503 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,818 - THAT WAS CLOSE. - YEAH. 504 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,377 OH, NO! A--A SPIDER! 505 00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:18,386 [all yelling] 506 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:18,861 - [gasps] 507 00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:21,158 OH, NO! A SINGLE FLAME! 508 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,291 [all yelling] 509 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,155 - A PIT! 510 00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:24,633 [all yelling] 511 00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:32,771 - [wicked laughing] 512 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,212 HELLO, BOYS. 513 00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:35,307 WELCOME TO HELL. 514 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:36,408 I'M THE DEVIL. 515 00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:39,779 [all yelling] 516 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:41,406 - THE DEVIL? 517 00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,354 OKAY, NOW, THAT IS SCARY. - YEAH. 518 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,819 - THIS IS AN AWFUL, SCARY PLACE. 519 00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:47,318 LOTS OF BAD STUFF HERE. 520 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,590 WE CAN--THERE'S A SPIDER. 521 00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:49,348 [all whimpering] 522 00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,755 - THE FLAME. A COUPLE FLAMES. 523 00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:51,587 [all gasping] 524 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,491 - LET'S SEE, UH, THERE'S A BAT. 525 00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,893 UH, I BELIEVE THERE'S A PIT, 526 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:59,225 AND YOU'RE GONNA BE HERE FOR ETERNITY, SO. 527 00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:01,402 [all yelling] 528 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,301 - PLEASE, GOD. PLEASE FORGIVE US. 529 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:04,303 WE DIDN'T MEAN TO BE BAD. 530 00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:08,374 PLEASE TAKE US AWAY FROM THIS DARK AND SCARY PLACE. 531 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,984 - AH, COME ON. 532 00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,677 WHATEVER. 533 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,550 - WHOA. 534 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:20,418 - GUYS, I THINK WE'RE IN HEAVEN. 535 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,950 - YES. 536 00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:23,585 YOU ARE IN HEAVEN. 537 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,320 WELCOME, BOYS. 538 00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:26,755 [laughs] 539 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:27,759 - THANK GOD. 540 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,460 HELL WAS JUST TOO SCARY. 541 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:30,262 - YEAH. 542 00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:34,303 - WAIT, THERE'S NOT A BAT UP HERE, IS HERE? 543 00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:35,270 - OH, YES. 544 00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:35,928 WE HAVE A BAT. 545 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:38,265 BUT WE KEEP HIM IN A BAT CAGE. 546 00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:39,271 PERFECTLY SA. 547 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,242 [all sighing] 548 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,270 - YOU CAN LOOK AT HIM. 549 00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:42,414 - AND THERE'S NO FLAME. 550 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,978 - OH, YES, WE HAD A FLAME, BUT WE EXTINGUISHED IT. 551 00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:47,879 SEE? IT USED TO BE OVER THERE. 552 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,680 TOOK CARE OF IT. MM-HMM. 553 00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:50,982 - WHAT ABOUT A PIT? 554 00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:51,954 - THERE IS A PIT. 555 00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:53,351 PEOPLE HATE THE PIT. 556 00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:55,553 THAT'S WHY WE FILLED IT WITH SAND, SEE? 557 00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,985 YOU CAN BARELY TELL IT USED TO BE RIGHT THERE. 558 00:20:57,991 --> 00:20:58,961 - GOOD. - MM-HMM. 559 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,688 - WELL, EVERYTHING HERE SEEMS GREAT. 560 00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:02,293 - OH, THANK YOU. - WELL, HOLD ON. 561 00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:03,555 ONE LAST QUESTION. - HM? 562 00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,333 - THERE'S NOT A SPIDER HERE, IS THERE? 563 00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:07,331 - OH, YES. THERE IS A SPIDER. 564 00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:11,543 BUT WE KEEP IT IN THE-- IT'S OWN SPIDER CAGE RIGHT-- 565 00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:12,967 OH, WAIT A MINUTE. 566 00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:16,842 THE SPIDER CAGE IS EMPTY. 567 00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:17,913 [yells] 568 00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:19,310 THE SPIDER GOT OUT! 569 00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:21,582 [all yelling] 570 00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:24,381 - ♪ WELL, UP IN HEAVEN GOD STARTED TO SHOUT ♪ 571 00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:27,954 ♪ THEY ALL GOT SCARED 'CAUSE THE SPIDER HE GOT AWAY ♪ 572 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,624 ♪ THE SPIDER'S OUT OF HIS CAGE ♪ 573 00:21:37,996 --> 00:21:40,996 [boisterous rock music] 574 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,970 - ♪ WAY DOWN YONDER IN TENNESSEE ♪ 575 00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:46,940 ♪ I WENT A-COURTIN' WITH A BUMBLE BEE ♪ 576 00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:48,909 ♪ SHE WORE A BONNET MADE OF SATIN ♪ 577 00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:50,678 ♪ AND A DRESS SO BLUE ♪ 578 00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,977 ♪ I WORE A VEST AND A PUMPKIN ♪ 579 00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:55,579 ♪ FOR A SHOE ♪ 580 00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:58,422 - ♪ WHEN WE GOT MARRIED ♪ 581 00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:00,518 ♪ ALL THE GUESTS BROUGHT MOONSHINE ♪ 582 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,720 ♪ AND I DID A LITTLE DANCE ♪ 583 00:22:02,722 --> 00:22:04,592 ♪ I PUT MY SHIRT ON BACKWARDS ♪ 584 00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:05,990 ♪ AND A TOAD ON MY SHOULDER ♪ 585 00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:09,432 ♪ OOH, THERE'S CRICKETS IN MY PANTS ♪ 586 00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:10,029 - HOO! 587 00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:11,359 - ♪ MY DARLIN' IS A BUG ♪ 588 00:22:11,364 --> 00:22:12,404 ♪ MY DARLIN' IS A BUG-- ♪ 589 00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:14,428 - THESE GUYS ARE REALLY JAMMIN'. - YEAH. 590 00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:17,544 YOU KNOW, I WAS SUPPOSED TO SEE THESE GUYS AT FREDONIA FEST. 591 00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:19,037 - REALLY? HOW WERE THEY? 592 00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:22,638 - WOULDN'T KNOW. I MISSED IT. 593 00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:25,482 - HM. - YEAH. 594 00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:31,718 - ♪ I SQUISHED MY DARLIN' WHEN I GAVE HER A HUG ♪ 40047

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