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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,434 --> 00:00:03,704 [hammering] 2 00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:05,704 [drilling] 3 00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:09,406 [overlapping chatter] 4 00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:13,311 - OH! 5 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:15,714 [laughter] 6 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,316 - AW! 7 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:19,618 [laughter] 8 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,320 [upbeat music] 9 00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,792 - OH! [laughter] 10 00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:27,261 - HEY, GUYS! MARCO! 11 00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:28,491 - POLO! 12 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:31,196 - MARCO! - WHOA! 13 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,798 [thud] 14 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,730 [turns off music] [hammering stops] 15 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,495 [laughs] 16 00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:38,644 WHEW! [laughter] 17 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,739 [turns music back on] 18 00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,781 [laughter] 19 00:00:42,777 --> 00:00:45,737 [overlapping chatter] 20 00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:48,746 [laughter] 21 00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:49,679 - [groans] 22 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:52,083 - NOW BACK TO MOMS WITH JOBS. 23 00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,816 - I CAN'T BE PREGNANT! 24 00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:58,621 I'M A BIG-TIME MARKETING EXECUTIVE IN NEW YORK CITY! 25 00:00:58,626 --> 00:00:59,756 [laughter] 26 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,690 [laughter on rooftop continues] 27 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,455 - HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! KNOCK IT OFF! 28 00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:08,365 YOU'RE GIVING 'EM SHINGLES! [laughter] 29 00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:09,639 - I CAN'T GO TO A PTA MEETING 30 00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:13,237 BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO TO A BUSINESS MEETING! 31 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,110 - [laughs] 32 00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:16,308 [staple gun firing] 33 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,580 - OW! - OW, OW, NO, NO, NO, NO! 34 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,479 - HEY, I'M ROOFY HARRY! 35 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,651 [staple gun fires] 36 00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:25,079 - [groans] 37 00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:25,776 [phone beeps] 38 00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:27,416 [laughter on rooftop continues] 39 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,791 HELLO, TV NETWORK? 40 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,659 I'M TRYING TO WATCH YOUR SHOW, 41 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:34,588 BUT THE GUYS ON MY ROOF ARE WAY FUNNIER! 42 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,655 PUT THEM ON THERE! COME ON! 43 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:38,555 [phone beeps] 44 00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:39,866 [orchestral music] 45 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,827 - WELCOME TO THE NETWORK. 46 00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:43,396 [laughter] - THANK YOU. 47 00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:44,844 THANK YOU. 48 00:01:44,839 --> 00:01:46,569 - THANK YOU. - THANK YOU. 49 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,174 - ♪ WELL, FIRST THERE WERE AMOEBAS ♪ 50 00:01:48,175 --> 00:01:49,805 ♪ AND THEY STARTED TO MINGLE ♪ 51 00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:52,440 ♪ AND SOON THERE WERE ROOFS AND GUTTERS AND SHINGLES ♪ 52 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,246 ♪ THEN THE FELLAS THAT WERE WORKIN' ♪ 53 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,548 ♪ GOT TO SHIRKIN' AND A-SMIRKIN' ♪ 54 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,819 ♪ AND THAT'S HOW THEY BECAME GOOFY ROOFERS ♪ 55 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,648 ♪ MAYBE EVERYTHING WE'VE EVER NEEDED ♪ 56 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:03,563 ♪ HAS BEEN RIGHT OVER OUR HEADS ALL ALONG ♪ 57 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,817 ♪ ROOFERS ♪ 58 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,826 - HELLO, NETWORK? THANKS FOR PUTTING THE SHOW ON. 59 00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:08,828 IT'S GREAT. 60 00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:12,159 [rock music] 61 00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:20,306 ♪ ♪ 62 00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:26,852 [rock and roll music] 63 00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:27,647 - [laughs] 64 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,578 [shattering glass] - ANARCHY... 65 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,753 [laughter] CHAOS... 66 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:34,152 [shattering glass] DEBAUCHERY... 67 00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:37,585 COMPLETE AND UTTER IDIOCY. 68 00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:43,331 OOH, THAT'S IT! THAT'S THE LAST STRAW! 69 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,530 - WHAT IS IT, DEAN STRICKLER? 70 00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:48,472 - IT'S THOSE LUNATICS OVER AT THETA HOUSE! 71 00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:51,899 THEY'VE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME, CRAWFORD! 72 00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:55,766 ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS CHUGGING BEER 73 00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:56,736 AND CAUSING TROUBLE. 74 00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:58,514 WELL, I WANT THEM EXPELLED. 75 00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,882 DO YOU HEAR ME, CRAWFORD? 76 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,880 I WANT THEM KICKED OFF CAMPUS FOR GOOD! 77 00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,484 - SORRY, DEAN STRICKLER, 78 00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:09,216 BUT I DON'T THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO DO THAT, SIR. 79 00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:10,893 - AND WHY NOT? 80 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,891 - WELL, YOU SEE, YOU'RE NOT THE DEAN OF THEIR COLLEGE. 81 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:16,534 THEY'RE AN UNRULY FRATERNITY 82 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,860 AT A UNIVERSITY IN NEW ENGLAND, 83 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,225 AND HERE WE ARE, 3,000 MILES AWAY, 84 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,504 IN YOUR CONDO IN SCOTTSDALE, ARIZONA. 85 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:25,573 THE MAN WHO WOULD BE ABLE TO KICK 'EM OFF CAMPUS 86 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:27,273 WOULD BE THE DEAN OF THEIR SCHOOL, 87 00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:30,514 BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THAT'S NOT YOU. 88 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,541 YOU'RE NOT THE DEAN OF ANY SCHOOL. 89 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,976 YOU'RE A FURNITURE SALESMAN. 90 00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,982 THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE CALL YOU "DEAN STRICKLER" 91 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,424 IS THAT IT'S YOUR NAME. 92 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,919 "DEAN" IS YOUR FIRST NAME, YOU SEE, 93 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,961 NOT YOUR JOB TITLE. 94 00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:44,957 SO I GUESS THAT'S THE REASON 95 00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:48,789 THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE THE THETAS KICKED OFF CAMPUS. 96 00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,926 - IS THAT WHY? - YEAH. 97 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,931 - [groans] THOSE THETAS! 98 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:57,344 THEY PROBABLY KNEW THIS ALL ALONG. 99 00:03:57,338 --> 00:03:58,968 IT'S ALL A PART OF THEIR DIRTY-- 100 00:03:58,973 --> 00:04:04,543 - NO, THAT DOESN'T REALLY MAKE ANY SENSE, SIR. 101 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,375 - IT DOESN'T, DOES IT? 102 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:10,920 STILL, THEY BETTER NOT PLAN ANY OF THEIR HIGH JINKS 103 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,948 FOR THIS WEEKEND'S HOMECOMING DAY PARADE, 104 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,694 OR I SWEAR, I'LL GRAB THEM BY THE-- 105 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,959 - MMM, NO, YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO THAT EITHER. 106 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,259 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. 107 00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:22,961 I'M NOT SURE WHY YOU'RE SO HUNG UP ON THE THETAS. 108 00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,633 I MEAN, YOU'VE NEVER MET THEM. 109 00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,632 ONLY REASON YOU KNOW ABOUT 'EM AT ALL IS 110 00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:30,974 YOU READ ABOUT THEIR LAST PARTY IN THIS NEWSPAPER. 111 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:31,971 GUESS IT'S MY FAULT. 112 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,842 I AM YOUR PAPERBOY, AFTER ALL. 113 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:35,711 THE ONLY REASON I CAME IN HERE 114 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,439 IS THAT YOU OFFERED ME A SODA, 115 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,384 AND IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN, 116 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,851 SO I SHOULD PROBABLY BE GOING. 117 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,850 GOTTA FINISH THE OLD PAPER ROUTE. 118 00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:47,852 HAVE A GOOD DAY. 119 00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:49,485 - OOH, THOSE THETA-- - OOH! 120 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:53,930 AND, UH, ONE OTHER THING. MY NAME'S NOT CRAWFORD. 121 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,957 IT'S RIVINGTON. 122 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,803 - [exhales] 123 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,725 GOOD-BYE. 124 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:01,834 [door slams] 125 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,995 [upbeat music] 126 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:07,744 - ♪ ROOFERS ♪ 127 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,741 [rock music] 128 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:13,883 - OH, MAN, OUR DATES WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE. 129 00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:15,511 - YEAH. HEY, WHAT'S THIS? 130 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,476 BLL-BLL-BLL-BLL-BLL! AAH! 131 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,894 - [groans] STAY FOCUSED, GUYS. 132 00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,017 OUR DATES WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE. 133 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,491 - YEAH. HEY, WHAT ARE THESE? 134 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,990 BLL-BLL-BLL-BLL-BLL! AAH! 135 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,833 [soundtrack laughter] 136 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:31,028 - HEY, KEEP IT DOWN OUT THERE! 137 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,071 - SORRY, MR. VILLANUEVA. 138 00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:34,827 - SORRY, MR. VILLANUEVA. 139 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,035 - WELL, SORRY DON'T BUY THE MOOSE! 140 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:40,007 - [laughs] 141 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,867 OH, MAN! 142 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,675 HUH? AAH! 143 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:47,047 [groans] OH! 144 00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,477 DARN ROOF! 145 00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:51,582 [somber music] 146 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:57,055 ♪ ♪ 147 00:05:57,057 --> 00:06:00,427 all: ♪ ON THE ROOF, ON THE ROOF, ON THE ROOF ♪ 148 00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:01,987 ♪ ON THE ROOF, ON THE ROOF ♪ 149 00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,925 ♪ ON THE ROOF, ON THE ROOF ♪ 150 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:06,001 ♪ ON THE ROOF, ON THE ROOF ♪ 151 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:09,739 ♪ ON THE ROOF, ON THE ROOF ♪ 152 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:19,112 [guitar chord] 153 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:24,980 - WE WERE LOST IN THE RAT RACE... 154 00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,515 JUST FACES IN THE CROWD... 155 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:31,090 MOVING LIKE ANTS THROUGH THE SAME MONOTONOUS ROUTINE. 156 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,125 CAN'T YOU SEE? WE'RE SUFFOCATING, MAN! 157 00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:36,598 WE'RE MISSING OUT ON OUR OWN LIVES! 158 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:39,967 IT'S TIME TO GET OUT THERE AND SEE THE REAL AMERICA! 159 00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:40,827 - LET'S DO IT. 160 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:44,004 - LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. 161 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:47,474 [upbeat rock music] 162 00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:48,714 ♪ ♪ 163 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:49,979 AND SO WE HEADED OUT... 164 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,607 GONE TO SEE AMERICA. 165 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,982 - YEAH! - WHOA! WE'RE DOING IT! 166 00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:56,011 - WHOO! - WHOO! 167 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,046 ♪ ♪ 168 00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,621 THE ROAD WAS OPEN, AND WE COULD GO ANYWHERE WE PLEASED. 169 00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:05,621 AND WHEN WE GREW WEARY, WE STOPPED FOR REPLENISHMENT. 170 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:10,196 ♪ ♪ 171 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,157 HI! - OH! 172 00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:12,995 THIS IS A LOT OF STUFF. - [laughs] OH! 173 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,100 NACHOS RIGHT HERE. 174 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,603 MMM! - WOW! 175 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,944 - REJUVENATED IN BODY AND SPIRIT... 176 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,840 - OH! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 177 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,012 WE CAN GO TO D.C. D.C.'S HERE! 178 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:24,881 both: YEAH! 179 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:25,808 - WE SET OUR SIGHTS 180 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,153 ON OUR NATION'S CAPITAL, 181 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,547 WHERE IT ALL BEGAN. 182 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:36,020 ♪ ♪ 183 00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:37,063 [laughs] 184 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:40,057 ♪ ♪ 185 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,690 OH, THANK YOU. - I'LL GET YOU SOME WATER. 186 00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,625 - CHEERS. - [laughs] 187 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:44,700 - WHO HAD THE SLIDER? 188 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,658 - I DID. - HE DID! 189 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,626 HE SEEMED NEAT. - WHAT A COOL GUY. 190 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,044 - THE BEST TRIP EVER. 191 00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,597 - THAT WAS GOOD. 192 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:55,865 ♪ ♪ 193 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,936 - THIS IS GOOD. 194 00:07:57,945 --> 00:07:58,705 ♪ ♪ 195 00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:01,512 - OUR SPIRITS CAME ALIVE. 196 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,715 WE COULD GO ANYWHERE WE WANTED. 197 00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:07,087 SERIOUSLY, ANYWHERE WE WANTED TO GO. 198 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:10,517 ♪ ♪ 199 00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:12,994 I KNEW THAT THERE WAS A BACK STORY. 200 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,063 - HEY, WHO HAD THE EXTRA CHEESE? 201 00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:15,531 - OH, SHIT! - OH, YEAH! 202 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,529 - IS THIS GONNA BE GOOD? - OH, IT'S GONNA BE-- 203 00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,971 - I BET IT IS. - OKAY, I'M DIGGING IN. 204 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,267 I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY. 205 00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:23,068 - TELL US ABOUT THIS SPORTSZONE. 206 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,740 - ARE YOU GUYS ENJOYING THE CITY? HAVE YOU SEEN A LOT? 207 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:27,068 - NO, WE CAME HERE, AND THEN WE'RE HEADING OUT 208 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:29,074 IN ABOUT 40 MINUTES. 209 00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,876 ♪ ♪ 210 00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:34,078 OH! YOU DA MAN! WHOO-OOP! 211 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,081 ♪ ♪ 212 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,722 THAT'S BARBECUE CHICKEN PIZZA. 213 00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,948 AND IT'S ALMOST GONE. HA! 214 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:43,123 - [laughs] OH! THAT WAS AWESOME. 215 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,963 INSPIRATION WAS OUR COMPASS, 216 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,089 FRIENDSHIP WAS OUR CARRIAGE, 217 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:49,634 AND A RESTAURANT LOCATOR PLACE MAT WAS OUR MAP. 218 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,960 - WE GOTTA GET DOWN HERE! 219 00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:55,095 [men singing in Spanish] 220 00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:58,702 ♪ ♪ 221 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,105 WHAT I LIKE ABOUT THIS PIZZA, 222 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:03,107 IT'S THE SAME EXACT THING THAT IT WAS IN SALT LAKE CITY. 223 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:03,980 IT'S SO GOOD. 224 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,577 THIS MUST BE THE SAME RECIPE. 225 00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:09,109 [men continue singing in Spanish] 226 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:09,976 ♪ ♪ 227 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,983 THERE IT IS! THERE IT IS! 228 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,845 - FREE TO GO WHERE WE PLEASED, 229 00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,854 FREE TO TAKE ANY ROAD. 230 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,716 FREE REFILLS ON ANY LARGE SOFT DRINK. 231 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:18,724 THANK YOU. - PERFECT. 232 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:23,125 - WE GAZED INTO THE HORIZON WITH KNOTS IN OUR STOMACH. 233 00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:24,230 GARLIC KNOTS. 234 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,131 ♪ ♪ 235 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:27,932 - OH, LOOK WHAT IT IS! - AH! 236 00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:30,695 MMM! CHEERS! 237 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:34,144 ♪ ♪ 238 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:36,271 DOUBLE SHOT! [laughs] 239 00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,136 - OH! 240 00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:38,614 - WE WENT LOOKING FOR AMERICA, 241 00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:42,012 BUT WE ENDED UP FINDING OURSELVES... 242 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,015 A GREAT DEAL ON JALAPENO POPPERS. 243 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,147 WE ENDED UP FINDING OURSELVES 244 00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:46,252 A GREAT DEAL ON JALAPENO POPPERS. 245 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,293 SORRY I PAUSED THERE. 246 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,917 I THINK I GOT SOMETHING STUCK IN MY THROAT. 247 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,262 - PROBABLY ONE OF THESE POPPERS. 248 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,018 - PROBABLY. 249 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,186 PROBABLY. 250 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:57,025 - OH. - OH. 251 00:09:59,131 --> 00:10:00,131 [upbeat music] 252 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,133 - A, B MARK. 253 00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:04,004 [electronic music] 254 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,104 [cheers and applause] 255 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,935 [clang] 256 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:07,870 - THEY'RE PROS. 257 00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:10,014 I MEAN, NOT PRO ACTORS. THEY'RE PRO ROOFERS. 258 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,180 BUT THAT'S KIND OF NEAT. 259 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,279 - [laughs] - OH! 260 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,180 - YEAH. 261 00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,311 - GUYS, I GOT A QUESTION ABOUT THE JOKE ON PAGE FOUR. 262 00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,776 THE PUNCH LINE IS, 263 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,654 "I'D RATHER PUT GRAVEL ON A 9/12 PITCH." 264 00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:25,124 [laughter] - THAT'S GOING IN? 265 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,055 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 266 00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:27,859 THIS GRAVEL STUFF, I THINK IT'S FUNNY. 267 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:28,791 I THINK IT'S FUNNY. 268 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,195 THE WHOLE PLOT LINE ABOUT THE TAR PAPER, 269 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:33,097 THAT'S--THAT'S REALLY JUST A METAPHOR, RIGHT? 270 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,830 - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GUY TALKING ABOUT? 271 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,796 - HE'S MAKING ABOUT AS MUCH SENSE 272 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,214 AS GRAVEL ON A 9/12 PITCH. 273 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:43,067 [laughter] 274 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,706 GOD, A GOOD ONE. 275 00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:49,878 - WHAT WAS THAT? NOTHING? 276 00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:50,823 - NOTHING, FRENCH. 277 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:55,347 - THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, PUNK. 278 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,855 PUNK ASS. 279 00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,085 I MEAN, NOBODY'S WINNING AN EMMY, 280 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,194 BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT IT'S ABOUT. 281 00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,326 NOT ANYMORE. 282 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,333 [upbeat music] 283 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,965 [rock music] - ATTENTION, MR. PRESIDENT. 284 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,801 I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE. 285 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,766 GET YOUR PEN OUT, 'CAUSE THERE ARE 286 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:15,965 A FEW PROBLEMS IN THIS COUNTRY 287 00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,206 THAT HAVE COME TO MY ATTENTION. 288 00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,241 TAKE SOME NOTES. 289 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:22,346 QUIZ ON FRIDAY, SUCKERS! 290 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,079 ONE, TWO, THREE, UHH! 291 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,384 ♪ LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE PROBLEMS IN AMERICA ♪ 292 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,246 ♪ HERE ARE THE PROBLEMS IN AMERICA ♪ 293 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:30,315 ♪ THESE ARE THE PROBLEMS IN AMERICA ♪ 294 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,923 ♪ LISTEN TO THE PROBLEMS IN AMERICA ♪ 295 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,826 ♪ A TEACHER IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE ♪ 296 00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:36,388 ♪ AFTER THE GRAD SCHOOL THAT HE'S DONE ♪ 297 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:39,226 ♪ HE CAN'T GET A JOB 'CAUSE THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN ♪ 298 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:41,002 ♪ THAT'S PROBLEM NUMBER ONE ♪ 299 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,271 ♪ PROBLEM TWO HAS TO DO ♪ 300 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:44,970 ♪ WITH THE OIL OVERSEAS ♪ 301 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,411 ♪ AND THE BLOOD WE SHED TO SHIP IT HOME ♪ 302 00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,437 ♪ WHILE WE PRETEND TO LIVE FREE ♪ 303 00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:51,283 ♪ AND GUESS WHAT, MR. PRESIDENT ♪ 304 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:54,008 ♪ NUMBER THREE IS CORPORATE GREED ♪ 305 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,884 ♪ COME ON ♪ 306 00:11:55,882 --> 00:12:01,852 ♪ ♪ 307 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,285 ♪ THERE ARE THREE PROBLEMS IN AMERICA ♪ 308 00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:06,161 ♪ THREE PROBLEMS IN AMERICA ♪ 309 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,159 ♪ JUST THREE PROBLEMS IN AMERICA ♪ 310 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,861 ♪ ONLY THREE PROBLEMS IN AMERICA ♪ 311 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:13,874 YO. CHECK IT. TO ALL MY FANS. 312 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,897 I RECENTLY GOT BACK FROM A WORLD TOUR, 313 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,172 WHERE I WITNESSED THE STRUGGLE OF PEOPLE 314 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,301 FROM AROUND THE GLOBE. 315 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:21,906 EVERY COUNTRY HAD THEIR PROBLEMS, 316 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,978 AND IT CHANGED MY WHOLE PERSPECTIVE. 317 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,078 DEAL WITH THAT! 318 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,080 ♪ SOUTH AFRICA HAS 98 PROBLEMS ♪ 319 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,083 ♪ IRAN HAS 67 PROBLEMS ♪ 320 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,185 ♪ GERMANY'S GOT 27 PROBLEMS ♪ 321 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,187 ♪ CANADA'S GOT 8 PROBLEMS ♪ 322 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,289 ♪ AMERICA'S THE BEST ♪ 323 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,921 ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME ♪ 324 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,186 ♪ WE ONLY GOT THREE PROBLEMS ♪ 325 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:45,295 ♪ OUR PROBLEMS, WE ONLY HAVE THREE ♪ 326 00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,068 ALSO, I JUST LOOKED BACK 327 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,327 OVER MY LIST OF PROBLEMS IN AMERICA, 328 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:51,465 AND PROBLEMS TWO AND THREE FALL UNDER THE SAME CATEGORY 329 00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:52,841 OF CORPORATE GREED. 330 00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:55,539 BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, WITHOUT CORPORATIONS, 331 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,342 I WOULDN'T HAVE SOME OF THE STUFF IN AMERICA 332 00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:58,814 THAT I REALLY LOVE. 333 00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:01,312 SO LET'S COMBINE TWO AND THREE 334 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,954 AND THEN CROSS 'EM OFF THE LIST! 335 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:05,079 THAT JUST LEAVES US WITH UNEMPLOYMENT LINES, 336 00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,945 OR ANY SORT OF LINE FOR THAT MATTER. 337 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,823 LINES ARE THE MAIN PROBLEM IN AMERICA! 338 00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,823 ♪ THERE IS ONE PROBLEM IN AMERICA ♪ 339 00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,985 ♪ ONE PROBLEM IN AMERICA ♪ 340 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,464 ♪ ONE PROBLEM IN AMERICA ♪ 341 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,502 ♪ LINES ARE THE PROBLEM IN AMERICA ♪ 342 00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,957 ♪ LINES ARE THE PROBLEM IN AMERICA ♪ 343 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,366 ♪ LINES ARE THE PROBLEM IN AMERICA ♪ 344 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:26,099 GOD BLESS THIS COUNTRY, THE BEAUTIFUL U.S. OF A.! 345 00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,806 [soundtrack laughter] - WHOA! 346 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:30,378 I GOT SANDPAPER STUCK TO MY HAND! 347 00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,307 [laughter] 348 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:34,281 - HEY, ROOFERS, THERE'S A PACKAGE FOR YOU. 349 00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:36,411 all: OH. 350 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,316 [soundtrack laughter] 351 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,288 - THERE'S A NOTE. 352 00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:42,517 - IT'S FROM OUR EX-GIRLFRIEND. 353 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,162 [laughter] 354 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,087 "DEAR ROOFERS, 355 00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:47,291 "REMEMBER THAT NIGHT IN MONTE CARLO? 356 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:50,304 "SAY HELLO TO YOUR... DAUGHTER"? 357 00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:51,257 - [gasps] 358 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,104 [all gasp] 359 00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,599 - YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING US. 360 00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:57,501 - YOU KNOW, I USED TO GO AND SEE 361 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,944 THE BEATLES PLAY AT THE CAVERN CLUB. 362 00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,609 THIS WAS BEFORE THEY GOT REALLY BIG. 363 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,337 THAT WAS REALLY SOMETHING. 364 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:07,452 - WELL, UH, I USED TO KNOW THE GOOFY ROOFERS. 365 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:10,277 [indistinct chatter] 366 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,953 - WELL, THAT TOPS ME. 367 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:17,589 - [scoffs] 368 00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:19,621 SORRY TO RUIN YOUR PEANUT PARTY. 369 00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:23,286 - WE CAN'T RAISE A BABY! WE WORK ON A ROOF! 370 00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,496 [soundtrack laughter] 371 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:27,327 - THANKS FOR WATCHING THIS WEEK'S EPISODE, FOLKS, 372 00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:30,074 BUT BEFORE WE GO, WE WOULD LIKE TO PAY TRIBUTE 373 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,340 TO ONE SPECIAL PERSON 374 00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,398 WHO HELPED US GET TO WHERE WE ARE TODAY. 375 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:36,036 AND THAT PERSON IS... 376 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,442 THE PRESIDENT OF THE NETWORK. 377 00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:39,575 THANK YOU. 378 00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,309 [orchestral music and applause] 379 00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:42,984 - THANKS, BOYS, 380 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,353 BUT I CAN'T TAKE ALL THE CREDIT. 381 00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:47,321 THERE'S SOMEBODY THAT I WOULD LIKE TO THANK AS WELL. 382 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,490 [drum roll] 383 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,318 OUR NETWORK'S LARGEST CORPORATE SHAREHOLDER, 384 00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:53,323 BILLIONAIRE TADASHI TANAKA. 385 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,056 [applause] 386 00:14:55,061 --> 00:15:00,671 - [laughs and shouts] 387 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:03,567 [cheering] 388 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,140 - I'LL SHOW YA. 389 00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:08,409 [orchestral music] - I CAN'T MAKE LUNCH! 390 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:12,238 I HAVE TO DO LUNCH! [soundtrack laughter] 391 00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:17,947 [guitar chord] 392 00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:18,921 [overlapping chatter] 393 00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,319 - GOT ANOTHER PITCHER OF WATER. 394 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,090 - HEY! - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! 395 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,348 THANKS SO MUCH. - WHAT'D I MISS? 396 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,356 WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? 397 00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:27,557 - WOMEN. THE "FAIRER SEX," IF YOU WILL. 398 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:28,430 - YEAH. 399 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:31,098 - TIM OVER HERE WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT THE BREASTS. 400 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,357 - YOU'RE TAKING THAT OUT OF CONTEXT. 401 00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:35,195 WHAT I SAID WAS, I FIND THE BREASTS 402 00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:37,001 TO BE ATTRACTIVE, YOU KNOW? 403 00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:39,243 THEY'RE JUST SORT OF, WELL, SEXY TO ME. 404 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,569 - NO, I GET IT. I GET WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM. 405 00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:46,314 - PRIME EXAMPLE--I ACTUALLY HAVE A THING FOR THE BUTTOCKS. 406 00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,583 - SO WHAT IS IS ABOUT THAT PART THAT, UH-- 407 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:49,711 IT JUST CATCHES YOUR EYE, OR-- 408 00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:53,576 - SOMETIMES, YEAH, BUT, I KNOW, THE BUTTOCKS, RIGHT? 409 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:56,146 BUT YEAH, THE BUTTOCKS FOR ME! 410 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,686 - NO, ACTUALLY, I GET IT. 411 00:15:57,691 --> 00:16:00,021 IT CAN BE KIND OF AROUSING IN A WAY. 412 00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:01,356 - THAT'S A GREAT WAY OF PUTTING IT. 413 00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:02,391 - WHAT? 414 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,255 - THAT'S A GREAT WAY OF PUTTING IT. 415 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:05,134 - OH! 416 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,201 - ESPECIALLY IF IT'S-- WELL, I SHOULDN'T SAY IT. 417 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,670 IT'S KIND OF WEIRD. - COME ON, SAY IT, GO ON! 418 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,469 - WELL, IF IT'S FIT, YOU KNOW? 419 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,411 SORT OF SUBSTANTIAL BUT, LIKE, SHAPELY. 420 00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,267 - OH. - AH, WHAT AM I SAYING? 421 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,376 I DON'T KNOW. - NO, NO, NO, NO. 422 00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:19,138 - IT'S OKAY. 423 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,045 YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU NEED TO BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. 424 00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:22,007 - RIGHT. - YEAH. 425 00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,045 - HEY, I GOT MY OWN QUIRKS. 426 00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:26,219 I MEAN, IF I SEE A WOMAN WITH A SYMMETRICAL FACE-- 427 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,989 - EYES, NOSE, MOUTH, ET CETERA. 428 00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,359 - RIGHT, RIGHT. IF SHE HAS, LIKE, NICE SKIN 429 00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:32,758 AND A PROPORTIONAL BODY-- 430 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,289 - LIKE THE CLASSICAL IDEA OF BEAUTY. 431 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:36,285 - EXACTLY! 432 00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:39,556 IF SHE FITS THE CLASSICAL IDEA OF BEAUTY, IT JUST-- 433 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,426 - I'M JUST TRYING TO PICTURE THIS, THOUGH. 434 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:42,604 SO, UH-- - OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 435 00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:43,742 I GOTTA SAY THIS, 436 00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:45,697 AND I'VE WANTED TO SAY IT MY WHOLE LIFE. 437 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,435 IF SHE'S NOT WEARING CLOTHING, YOU KNOW? 438 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,481 LIKE, NO CLOTH OR COVERING. 439 00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:52,477 OR--OR IF SHE IS WEARING CLOTHING OR CLOTH, 440 00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:57,049 BUT THERE'S A SUGGESTION THAT MAYBE IT MIGHT FALL OFF, 441 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,420 I JUST--I TUNE IN AGAIN! 442 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,389 I SWITCH IT ON! - YEAH. 443 00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:02,448 - I COULD SEE THAT, YEAH. 444 00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,255 - BUT WHAT IF SHE'S GOT A GREAT PERSONALITY, 445 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,057 YOU KNOW, SHARES SOME OF YOUR INTERESTS AND GOALS? 446 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:10,660 - AND SHE'S LOYAL, YOU KNOW, BUT SHE'S NOT OVERBEARING. 447 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,503 - WHEN I MEET A WOMAN LIKE THAT, 448 00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:15,469 IT'S LIKE-- HEY, WHAT DO I KNOW? 449 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:18,468 COUNT ME IN, I GUESS. - YEAH! 450 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,471 - I MAY EVEN GET AROUSED, TO BORROW CHRIS'S TERM. 451 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:24,083 - WHAT? - HE SAID HE'D GET AROUSED. 452 00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,207 - OH, YEAH. WILD, HOW IT ALL WORKS. 453 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,212 - YEAH. - HEY, GUYS. 454 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,314 BUY SOME DRINKS AND QUIET DOWN OR LEAVE. 455 00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:32,616 THE LADY'S TRYING TO DO A SHOW. 456 00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:35,089 [rock music playing] 457 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:38,488 - OH, OKAY, ABSOLUTELY. WE'LL LEAVE. 458 00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:39,621 - BYE. - SORRY ABOUT THAT. 459 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:42,356 - EXCUSE ME. - SORRY. SORRY ABOUT THAT. 460 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,492 - SORRY. 461 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,626 [upbeat music] 462 00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,802 - I'M DEAN STRICKLER, 463 00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:50,771 AND YOU HAD BETTER BE READY TO GRADUATE 464 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:54,570 FROM YOUR TWIN BED TO THIS BEAUTIFUL NEW QUEEN-SIZED. 465 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:59,414 GOOD NEWS--YOU, YOUNG MAN, ARE HEREBY SUSPENDED 466 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:02,252 FROM THIS BEAUTIFUL NEW HAMMOCK, 467 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,208 NOW ON SALE. 468 00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:05,846 MY NAME IS DEAN STRICKLER, AND I SELL FURNITURE. 469 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:08,422 I'M NOT IN CHARGE OF A COLLEGE. 470 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,791 THERE. I SAID IT. 471 00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:14,261 [upbeat music] 472 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:16,757 - [exhales] 473 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:20,333 [hammering] 474 00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:26,744 [taps] 475 00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:41,423 [sobbing] 476 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,759 - THANKS, EVERYBODY! 477 00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:47,688 [cheers and applause] - THANK YOU! 478 00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:48,694 - HEY! - WHOA! 479 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:53,425 [cheers and applause] 480 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:56,773 - YEAH, IT WAS A GOOD RUN, THOUGH, IT WAS. 481 00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,273 - HEY, GU--HEY, GUYS. 482 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,373 IT'S ME, MR. VANDELLO. 483 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,565 HOW'S IT GOING? 484 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,576 I'M A BIG FAN OF THE SHOW. 485 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:09,208 HEY, WOULD YOU SIGN MY BOOK FOR ME? 486 00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:11,751 - SURE. - GREAT. 487 00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:13,581 I LOVE YOUR SHOW. 488 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,616 I CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT SEASON. 489 00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:18,722 - [laughs] - [mutters] 490 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:22,555 - ACTUALLY, THERE WON'T BE A NEXT SEASON. 491 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,602 - WHAT? 492 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,397 - IT GOT CANCELED. 493 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:29,469 - THAT'S TOO BAD. - I DON'T KNOW. 494 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,599 I THINK IT WAS PRETTY INEVITABLE, REALLY. 495 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:34,344 I MEAN, GOOFY ROOFERS? 496 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,440 IT'S PRETTY STUPID. 497 00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:36,911 - SURE, IT SOUNDS FUNNY FOR A SECOND, 498 00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:39,680 BUT IT'S NOT LIKE THAT CAN SUSTAIN ITSELF. 499 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,609 - WHAT'S RELEVANT ABOUT IT? 500 00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,483 WHAT'S TIMELY OR RELATABLE 501 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:43,482 ABOUT A BUNCH OF ROOFERS 502 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:44,653 SMACKING EACH OTHER AROUND? 503 00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:46,481 - I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. NOTHING. 504 00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:47,946 - IT'S A HACK JOB, YOU KNOW? A LARK. 505 00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:50,494 AND YOU CAN'T BE WASTING PEOPLE'S TIME WITH THAT CRAP. 506 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,620 - IT'S JUST NOT WORTHY OF BEING BROADCAST, 507 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,855 WHETHER IT'S A SITCOM OR A RUNNING GAG ON A SKETCH SHOW. 508 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,562 I MEAN, THIS IS TV WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE. 509 00:19:58,565 --> 00:19:59,795 - IT'S A BIG PRODUCTION-- 510 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,569 CREW, TRUCKS, ELECTRICIANS, AND FOR WHAT? 511 00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:03,968 GOOFY ROOFERS? NO, THANK YOU. 512 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,840 - AND THE WORST PART OF IT ALL, 513 00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:09,568 THINK OF THE VIEWERS COMING HOME FROM WORK, 514 00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,736 TIRED, JUST LOOKING FOR A LITTLE BIT OF ENTERTAINMENT. 515 00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:16,354 DO YOU REALLY THINK THEY WANT GOOFY ROOFERS? NO WAY. 516 00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:18,379 - IT'S A COMPLETE GODDAMN WASTE OF TIME. 517 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,994 - MM-HMM. - WELL, I LID IT. 518 00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:24,387 HEY, YOU GUYS WANT TO COME FIX MY ROOF AGAIN? 519 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,490 IT STILL HAS A HOLE IN IT. 520 00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:26,861 IT'LL BE JUST LIKE OLD TIMES-- 521 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:30,659 YOU KNOW, BEFORE THE TV SHOW AND THE TELL-ALL BOOKS. 522 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,963 MAYBE AFTER ALL, EVERYTHING YOU WERE LOOKING FOR 523 00:20:32,966 --> 00:20:35,926 WAS RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE AND OVER YOUR HEADS, 524 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:38,535 JUST LIKE YOUR THEME SONG SAYS. 525 00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:41,608 [upbeat music] 526 00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:42,668 ♪ ♪ 527 00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:43,565 [laughs] 528 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,976 - YEE-HOO-HOO! - [laughs] 529 00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:49,580 ♪ ♪ 530 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,982 [laughter] 531 00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:56,624 ♪ ♪ 532 00:20:56,623 --> 00:21:00,593 - ♪ ROOFERS ♪ 533 00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:03,791 [upbeat music] 534 00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:05,326 - I'M BACK, BABY! 535 00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:06,561 I ALREADY TOLD YOU SOME OF THE PROBLEMS 536 00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:07,696 I HAVE WITH AMERICA, 537 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,370 BUT I AIN'T DONE YET. 538 00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:10,499 NOW I'M GONNA TELL YOU 539 00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:15,913 THREE THINGS THAT I LOVE! 540 00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:17,878 ♪ I REALLY LOVE GOOD WI-FI ♪ 541 00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:19,977 ♪ AND A MAJOR LEAGUE BALL GAME ♪ 542 00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:21,879 ♪ SEASON ONE OF GOOFY ROOFERS ♪ 543 00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:24,051 ♪ THAT SHOW IS SO INSANE ♪ 544 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:26,020 ♪ YEAH, WHEN IT COMES TO AMERICA ♪ 545 00:21:26,019 --> 00:21:28,449 ♪ THE WOMEN CAN'T BE BEAT ♪ [glasses clink] 546 00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,494 ♪ BUT A GIRL WITH A GREAT MIND AND BODY ♪ 547 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,590 ♪ THAT'S THE ONE I WANT TO MEET ♪ 548 00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:34,832 ♪ I REALLY LOVE DAVE MATTHEWS ♪ 549 00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:36,987 ♪ HIS CONCERTS ARE A THRILL ♪ 550 00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:38,796 ♪ AND WHEN I'M CRAVING MOZZA STICKS ♪ 551 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,598 ♪ I HEAD TO TV SPORTSZONE GRILL ♪ 552 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:41,430 [chomps] 553 00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:43,374 ♪ I LOVE THE COLLEGE LIFESTYLE ♪ 554 00:21:43,369 --> 00:21:45,369 ♪ THE FRATS ARE ALL SO GREAT ♪ 555 00:21:45,371 --> 00:21:47,611 ♪ I BUY MY CHAIRS FROM DEAN STRICKLER ♪ 556 00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:49,367 ♪ BEST SALESMAN IN THE STATE ♪ 557 00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:51,605 ♪ I'M JUST NOW STARTING TO REALIZE ♪ 558 00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:53,781 ♪ THAT MY LIST IS MORE THAN THREE ♪ 559 00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:55,410 ♪ BUT THERE'S TOO MUCH GOOD STUFF ♪ 560 00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:56,545 ♪ IN THIS COUNTRY THAT I LOVE ♪ 561 00:21:56,549 --> 00:21:59,379 ♪ THE LAND OF THE FREE ♪ 562 00:22:00,752 --> 00:22:02,752 - OH! SHAVING! 563 00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:03,785 [laughter] 564 00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:05,660 YOU'RE NOT SHAVING. 565 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:06,918 OH! [laughs] 566 00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:09,686 [laughter] - ♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪ 567 00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:11,596 - [laughs] OH! 568 00:22:11,597 --> 00:22:13,797 - CHECK ME OUT. I'M A ROOF! 569 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:17,100 [laughter] - AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! 570 00:22:17,103 --> 00:22:18,443 [thud] 571 00:22:18,438 --> 00:22:20,038 [laughter stops] 572 00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:22,639 [groans] 573 00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:25,382 - SOMEBODY CALL 911! 574 00:22:25,378 --> 00:22:31,578 [siren wailing] 39361

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