Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,434 --> 00:00:03,704
[hammering]
2
00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:05,704
[drilling]
3
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:09,406
[overlapping chatter]
4
00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:13,311
- OH!
5
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:15,714
[laughter]
6
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,316
- AW!
7
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:19,618
[laughter]
8
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,320
[upbeat music]
9
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,792
- OH!
[laughter]
10
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:27,261
- HEY, GUYS!
MARCO!
11
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:28,491
- POLO!
12
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:31,196
- MARCO!
- WHOA!
13
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,798
[thud]
14
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,730
[turns off music]
[hammering stops]
15
00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,495
[laughs]
16
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:38,644
WHEW!
[laughter]
17
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,739
[turns music back on]
18
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,781
[laughter]
19
00:00:42,777 --> 00:00:45,737
[overlapping chatter]
20
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:48,746
[laughter]
21
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:49,679
- [groans]
22
00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:52,083
- NOW BACK
TO MOMS WITH JOBS.
23
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,816
- I CAN'T BE PREGNANT!
24
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:58,621
I'M A BIG-TIME MARKETING
EXECUTIVE IN NEW YORK CITY!
25
00:00:58,626 --> 00:00:59,756
[laughter]
26
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,690
[laughter on rooftop
continues]
27
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,455
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
KNOCK IT OFF!
28
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:08,365
YOU'RE GIVING 'EM SHINGLES!
[laughter]
29
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:09,639
- I CAN'T GO
TO A PTA MEETING
30
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:13,237
BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO
TO A BUSINESS MEETING!
31
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,110
- [laughs]
32
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:16,308
[staple gun firing]
33
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,580
- OW!
- OW, OW, NO, NO, NO, NO!
34
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,479
- HEY, I'M ROOFY HARRY!
35
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,651
[staple gun fires]
36
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:25,079
- [groans]
37
00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:25,776
[phone beeps]
38
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:27,416
[laughter on rooftop
continues]
39
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,791
HELLO, TV NETWORK?
40
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,659
I'M TRYING
TO WATCH YOUR SHOW,
41
00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:34,588
BUT THE GUYS ON MY ROOF
ARE WAY FUNNIER!
42
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,655
PUT THEM ON THERE!
COME ON!
43
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:38,555
[phone beeps]
44
00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:39,866
[orchestral music]
45
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,827
- WELCOME TO THE NETWORK.
46
00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:43,396
[laughter]
- THANK YOU.
47
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:44,844
THANK YOU.
48
00:01:44,839 --> 00:01:46,569
- THANK YOU.
- THANK YOU.
49
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,174
- ♪ WELL, FIRST
THERE WERE AMOEBAS ♪
50
00:01:48,175 --> 00:01:49,805
♪ AND THEY STARTED
TO MINGLE ♪
51
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:52,440
♪ AND SOON THERE WERE ROOFS
AND GUTTERS AND SHINGLES ♪
52
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,246
♪ THEN THE FELLAS
THAT WERE WORKIN' ♪
53
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,548
♪ GOT TO SHIRKIN'
AND A-SMIRKIN' ♪
54
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,819
♪ AND THAT'S HOW THEY BECAME
GOOFY ROOFERS ♪
55
00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,648
♪ MAYBE EVERYTHING
WE'VE EVER NEEDED ♪
56
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:03,563
♪ HAS BEEN RIGHT OVER OUR HEADS
ALL ALONG ♪
57
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,817
♪ ROOFERS ♪
58
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,826
- HELLO, NETWORK?
THANKS FOR PUTTING THE SHOW ON.
59
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:08,828
IT'S GREAT.
60
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:12,159
[rock music]
61
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:20,306
♪ ♪
62
00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:26,852
[rock and roll music]
63
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:27,647
- [laughs]
64
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,578
[shattering glass]
- ANARCHY...
65
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,753
[laughter]
CHAOS...
66
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:34,152
[shattering glass]
DEBAUCHERY...
67
00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:37,585
COMPLETE AND UTTER IDIOCY.
68
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:43,331
OOH, THAT'S IT!
THAT'S THE LAST STRAW!
69
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,530
- WHAT IS IT,
DEAN STRICKLER?
70
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:48,472
- IT'S THOSE LUNATICS
OVER AT THETA HOUSE!
71
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:51,899
THEY'VE GONE TOO FAR
THIS TIME, CRAWFORD!
72
00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:55,766
ALL THEY CARE ABOUT
IS CHUGGING BEER
73
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:56,736
AND CAUSING TROUBLE.
74
00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:58,514
WELL,
I WANT THEM EXPELLED.
75
00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,882
DO YOU HEAR ME,
CRAWFORD?
76
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,880
I WANT THEM
KICKED OFF CAMPUS FOR GOOD!
77
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,484
- SORRY, DEAN STRICKLER,
78
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:09,216
BUT I DON'T THINK YOU'LL BE
ABLE TO DO THAT, SIR.
79
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:10,893
- AND WHY NOT?
80
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,891
- WELL, YOU SEE, YOU'RE NOT
THE DEAN OF THEIR COLLEGE.
81
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:16,534
THEY'RE AN UNRULY FRATERNITY
82
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,860
AT A UNIVERSITY
IN NEW ENGLAND,
83
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,225
AND HERE WE ARE,
3,000 MILES AWAY,
84
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,504
IN YOUR CONDO
IN SCOTTSDALE, ARIZONA.
85
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:25,573
THE MAN WHO WOULD BE ABLE
TO KICK 'EM OFF CAMPUS
86
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:27,273
WOULD BE THE DEAN
OF THEIR SCHOOL,
87
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:30,514
BUT UNFORTUNATELY,
THAT'S NOT YOU.
88
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,541
YOU'RE NOT THE DEAN
OF ANY SCHOOL.
89
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,976
YOU'RE A FURNITURE SALESMAN.
90
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,982
THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE
CALL YOU "DEAN STRICKLER"
91
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,424
IS THAT IT'S YOUR NAME.
92
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,919
"DEAN" IS YOUR FIRST NAME,
YOU SEE,
93
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,961
NOT YOUR JOB TITLE.
94
00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:44,957
SO I GUESS
THAT'S THE REASON
95
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:48,789
THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE THE THETAS
KICKED OFF CAMPUS.
96
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,926
- IS THAT WHY?
- YEAH.
97
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,931
- [groans]
THOSE THETAS!
98
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:57,344
THEY PROBABLY KNEW THIS
ALL ALONG.
99
00:03:57,338 --> 00:03:58,968
IT'S ALL A PART
OF THEIR DIRTY--
100
00:03:58,973 --> 00:04:04,543
- NO, THAT DOESN'T REALLY
MAKE ANY SENSE, SIR.
101
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,375
- IT DOESN'T, DOES IT?
102
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:10,920
STILL, THEY BETTER NOT PLAN
ANY OF THEIR HIGH JINKS
103
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,948
FOR THIS WEEKEND'S
HOMECOMING DAY PARADE,
104
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,694
OR I SWEAR,
I'LL GRAB THEM BY THE--
105
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,959
- MMM, NO, YOU'RE NOT
GONNA DO THAT EITHER.
106
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,259
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
107
00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:22,961
I'M NOT SURE WHY
YOU'RE SO HUNG UP ON THE THETAS.
108
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,633
I MEAN,
YOU'VE NEVER MET THEM.
109
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,632
ONLY REASON YOU KNOW
ABOUT 'EM AT ALL IS
110
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:30,974
YOU READ ABOUT THEIR LAST PARTY
IN THIS NEWSPAPER.
111
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:31,971
GUESS IT'S MY FAULT.
112
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,842
I AM YOUR PAPERBOY,
AFTER ALL.
113
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:35,711
THE ONLY REASON
I CAME IN HERE
114
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,439
IS THAT YOU OFFERED ME
A SODA,
115
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,384
AND IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN,
116
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,851
SO I SHOULD PROBABLY
BE GOING.
117
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,850
GOTTA FINISH
THE OLD PAPER ROUTE.
118
00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:47,852
HAVE A GOOD DAY.
119
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:49,485
- OOH, THOSE THETA--
- OOH!
120
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:53,930
AND, UH, ONE OTHER THING.
MY NAME'S NOT CRAWFORD.
121
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,957
IT'S RIVINGTON.
122
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,803
- [exhales]
123
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,725
GOOD-BYE.
124
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:01,834
[door slams]
125
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,995
[upbeat music]
126
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:07,744
- ♪ ROOFERS ♪
127
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,741
[rock music]
128
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:13,883
- OH, MAN, OUR DATES
WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
129
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:15,511
- YEAH.
HEY, WHAT'S THIS?
130
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,476
BLL-BLL-BLL-BLL-BLL!
AAH!
131
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,894
- [groans]
STAY FOCUSED, GUYS.
132
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,017
OUR DATES WILL BE HERE
ANY MINUTE.
133
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,491
- YEAH.
HEY, WHAT ARE THESE?
134
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,990
BLL-BLL-BLL-BLL-BLL!
AAH!
135
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,833
[soundtrack laughter]
136
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:31,028
- HEY, KEEP IT DOWN
OUT THERE!
137
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,071
- SORRY, MR. VILLANUEVA.
138
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:34,827
- SORRY,
MR. VILLANUEVA.
139
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,035
- WELL, SORRY DON'T
BUY THE MOOSE!
140
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:40,007
- [laughs]
141
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,867
OH, MAN!
142
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,675
HUH?
AAH!
143
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:47,047
[groans]
OH!
144
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,477
DARN ROOF!
145
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:51,582
[somber music]
146
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:57,055
♪ ♪
147
00:05:57,057 --> 00:06:00,427
all: ♪ ON THE ROOF,
ON THE ROOF, ON THE ROOF ♪
148
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:01,987
♪ ON THE ROOF,
ON THE ROOF ♪
149
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,925
♪ ON THE ROOF, ON THE ROOF ♪
150
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:06,001
♪ ON THE ROOF,
ON THE ROOF ♪
151
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:09,739
♪ ON THE ROOF, ON THE ROOF ♪
152
00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:19,112
[guitar chord]
153
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:24,980
- WE WERE LOST
IN THE RAT RACE...
154
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,515
JUST FACES IN THE CROWD...
155
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:31,090
MOVING LIKE ANTS THROUGH
THE SAME MONOTONOUS ROUTINE.
156
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,125
CAN'T YOU SEE?
WE'RE SUFFOCATING, MAN!
157
00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:36,598
WE'RE MISSING OUT
ON OUR OWN LIVES!
158
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:39,967
IT'S TIME TO GET OUT THERE
AND SEE THE REAL AMERICA!
159
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:40,827
- LET'S DO IT.
160
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:44,004
- LET'S GET THE HELL
OUT OF HERE.
161
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:47,474
[upbeat rock music]
162
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:48,714
♪ ♪
163
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:49,979
AND SO WE HEADED OUT...
164
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,607
GONE TO SEE AMERICA.
165
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,982
- YEAH!
- WHOA! WE'RE DOING IT!
166
00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:56,011
- WHOO!
- WHOO!
167
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,046
♪ ♪
168
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,621
THE ROAD WAS OPEN, AND WE
COULD GO ANYWHERE WE PLEASED.
169
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:05,621
AND WHEN WE GREW WEARY,
WE STOPPED FOR REPLENISHMENT.
170
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:10,196
♪ ♪
171
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,157
HI!
- OH!
172
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:12,995
THIS IS A LOT OF STUFF.
- [laughs] OH!
173
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,100
NACHOS RIGHT HERE.
174
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,603
MMM!
- WOW!
175
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,944
- REJUVENATED
IN BODY AND SPIRIT...
176
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,840
- OH! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
177
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,012
WE CAN GO TO D.C.
D.C.'S HERE!
178
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:24,881
both: YEAH!
179
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:25,808
- WE SET OUR SIGHTS
180
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,153
ON OUR NATION'S CAPITAL,
181
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,547
WHERE IT ALL BEGAN.
182
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:36,020
♪ ♪
183
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:37,063
[laughs]
184
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:40,057
♪ ♪
185
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,690
OH, THANK YOU.
- I'LL GET YOU SOME WATER.
186
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,625
- CHEERS.
- [laughs]
187
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:44,700
- WHO HAD THE SLIDER?
188
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,658
- I DID.
- HE DID!
189
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,626
HE SEEMED NEAT.
- WHAT A COOL GUY.
190
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,044
- THE BEST TRIP EVER.
191
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,597
- THAT WAS GOOD.
192
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:55,865
♪ ♪
193
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,936
- THIS IS GOOD.
194
00:07:57,945 --> 00:07:58,705
♪ ♪
195
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:01,512
- OUR SPIRITS CAME ALIVE.
196
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,715
WE COULD GO ANYWHERE
WE WANTED.
197
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:07,087
SERIOUSLY,
ANYWHERE WE WANTED TO GO.
198
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:10,517
♪ ♪
199
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:12,994
I KNEW THAT THERE WAS
A BACK STORY.
200
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,063
- HEY, WHO HAD
THE EXTRA CHEESE?
201
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:15,531
- OH, SHIT!
- OH, YEAH!
202
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,529
- IS THIS GONNA BE GOOD?
- OH, IT'S GONNA BE--
203
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,971
- I BET IT IS.
- OKAY, I'M DIGGING IN.
204
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,267
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY.
205
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:23,068
- TELL US
ABOUT THIS SPORTSZONE.
206
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,740
- ARE YOU GUYS ENJOYING
THE CITY? HAVE YOU SEEN A LOT?
207
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:27,068
- NO, WE CAME HERE,
AND THEN WE'RE HEADING OUT
208
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:29,074
IN ABOUT 40 MINUTES.
209
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,876
♪ ♪
210
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:34,078
OH! YOU DA MAN!
WHOO-OOP!
211
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,081
♪ ♪
212
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,722
THAT'S BARBECUE CHICKEN PIZZA.
213
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,948
AND IT'S ALMOST GONE.
HA!
214
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:43,123
- [laughs] OH!
THAT WAS AWESOME.
215
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,963
INSPIRATION WAS OUR COMPASS,
216
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,089
FRIENDSHIP
WAS OUR CARRIAGE,
217
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:49,634
AND A RESTAURANT LOCATOR
PLACE MAT WAS OUR MAP.
218
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,960
- WE GOTTA GET DOWN HERE!
219
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:55,095
[men singing in Spanish]
220
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:58,702
♪ ♪
221
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,105
WHAT I LIKE
ABOUT THIS PIZZA,
222
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:03,107
IT'S THE SAME EXACT THING
THAT IT WAS IN SALT LAKE CITY.
223
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:03,980
IT'S SO GOOD.
224
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,577
THIS MUST BE
THE SAME RECIPE.
225
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:09,109
[men continue singing
in Spanish]
226
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:09,976
♪ ♪
227
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,983
THERE IT IS!
THERE IT IS!
228
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,845
- FREE TO GO
WHERE WE PLEASED,
229
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,854
FREE TO TAKE ANY ROAD.
230
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,716
FREE REFILLS
ON ANY LARGE SOFT DRINK.
231
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:18,724
THANK YOU.
- PERFECT.
232
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:23,125
- WE GAZED INTO THE HORIZON
WITH KNOTS IN OUR STOMACH.
233
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:24,230
GARLIC KNOTS.
234
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,131
♪ ♪
235
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:27,932
- OH, LOOK WHAT IT IS!
- AH!
236
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:30,695
MMM!
CHEERS!
237
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:34,144
♪ ♪
238
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:36,271
DOUBLE SHOT!
[laughs]
239
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,136
- OH!
240
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:38,614
- WE WENT LOOKING
FOR AMERICA,
241
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:42,012
BUT WE ENDED UP
FINDING OURSELVES...
242
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,015
A GREAT DEAL
ON JALAPENO POPPERS.
243
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,147
WE ENDED UP
FINDING OURSELVES
244
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:46,252
A GREAT DEAL
ON JALAPENO POPPERS.
245
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,293
SORRY I PAUSED THERE.
246
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,917
I THINK I GOT SOMETHING
STUCK IN MY THROAT.
247
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,262
- PROBABLY
ONE OF THESE POPPERS.
248
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,018
- PROBABLY.
249
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,186
PROBABLY.
250
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:57,025
- OH.
- OH.
251
00:09:59,131 --> 00:10:00,131
[upbeat music]
252
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,133
- A, B MARK.
253
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:04,004
[electronic music]
254
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,104
[cheers and applause]
255
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,935
[clang]
256
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:07,870
- THEY'RE PROS.
257
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:10,014
I MEAN, NOT PRO ACTORS.
THEY'RE PRO ROOFERS.
258
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,180
BUT THAT'S KIND OF NEAT.
259
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,279
- [laughs]
- OH!
260
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,180
- YEAH.
261
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,311
- GUYS, I GOT A QUESTION
ABOUT THE JOKE ON PAGE FOUR.
262
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,776
THE PUNCH LINE IS,
263
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,654
"I'D RATHER PUT GRAVEL
ON A 9/12 PITCH."
264
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:25,124
[laughter]
- THAT'S GOING IN?
265
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,055
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
266
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:27,859
THIS GRAVEL STUFF,
I THINK IT'S FUNNY.
267
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:28,791
I THINK IT'S FUNNY.
268
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,195
THE WHOLE PLOT LINE
ABOUT THE TAR PAPER,
269
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:33,097
THAT'S--THAT'S REALLY
JUST A METAPHOR, RIGHT?
270
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,830
- WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GUY
TALKING ABOUT?
271
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,796
- HE'S MAKING
ABOUT AS MUCH SENSE
272
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,214
AS GRAVEL
ON A 9/12 PITCH.
273
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:43,067
[laughter]
274
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,706
GOD, A GOOD ONE.
275
00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:49,878
- WHAT WAS THAT?
NOTHING?
276
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:50,823
- NOTHING, FRENCH.
277
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:55,347
- THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT,
PUNK.
278
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,855
PUNK ASS.
279
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,085
I MEAN, NOBODY'S
WINNING AN EMMY,
280
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,194
BUT THAT'S NOT
WHAT IT'S ABOUT.
281
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,326
NOT ANYMORE.
282
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,333
[upbeat music]
283
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,965
[rock music]
- ATTENTION, MR. PRESIDENT.
284
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,801
I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT
TO MAKE.
285
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,766
GET YOUR PEN OUT,
'CAUSE THERE ARE
286
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:15,965
A FEW PROBLEMS
IN THIS COUNTRY
287
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,206
THAT HAVE COME
TO MY ATTENTION.
288
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,241
TAKE SOME NOTES.
289
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:22,346
QUIZ ON FRIDAY,
SUCKERS!
290
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,079
ONE, TWO, THREE, UHH!
291
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,384
♪ LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT THE PROBLEMS IN AMERICA ♪
292
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,246
♪ HERE ARE THE PROBLEMS
IN AMERICA ♪
293
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:30,315
♪ THESE ARE
THE PROBLEMS IN AMERICA ♪
294
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,923
♪ LISTEN TO THE PROBLEMS
IN AMERICA ♪
295
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,826
♪ A TEACHER
IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE ♪
296
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:36,388
♪ AFTER THE GRAD SCHOOL
THAT HE'S DONE ♪
297
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:39,226
♪ HE CAN'T GET A JOB
'CAUSE THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN ♪
298
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:41,002
♪ THAT'S PROBLEM NUMBER ONE ♪
299
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,271
♪ PROBLEM TWO HAS TO DO ♪
300
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:44,970
♪ WITH THE OIL OVERSEAS ♪
301
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,411
♪ AND THE BLOOD WE SHED
TO SHIP IT HOME ♪
302
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,437
♪ WHILE WE PRETEND
TO LIVE FREE ♪
303
00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:51,283
♪ AND GUESS WHAT,
MR. PRESIDENT ♪
304
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:54,008
♪ NUMBER THREE
IS CORPORATE GREED ♪
305
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,884
♪ COME ON ♪
306
00:11:55,882 --> 00:12:01,852
♪ ♪
307
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,285
♪ THERE ARE
THREE PROBLEMS IN AMERICA ♪
308
00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:06,161
♪ THREE PROBLEMS
IN AMERICA ♪
309
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,159
♪ JUST THREE PROBLEMS
IN AMERICA ♪
310
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,861
♪ ONLY THREE PROBLEMS
IN AMERICA ♪
311
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:13,874
YO. CHECK IT.
TO ALL MY FANS.
312
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,897
I RECENTLY GOT BACK
FROM A WORLD TOUR,
313
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,172
WHERE I WITNESSED
THE STRUGGLE OF PEOPLE
314
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,301
FROM AROUND THE GLOBE.
315
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:21,906
EVERY COUNTRY
HAD THEIR PROBLEMS,
316
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,978
AND IT CHANGED
MY WHOLE PERSPECTIVE.
317
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,078
DEAL WITH THAT!
318
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,080
♪ SOUTH AFRICA
HAS 98 PROBLEMS ♪
319
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,083
♪ IRAN HAS 67 PROBLEMS ♪
320
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,185
♪ GERMANY'S
GOT 27 PROBLEMS ♪
321
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,187
♪ CANADA'S GOT 8 PROBLEMS ♪
322
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,289
♪ AMERICA'S THE BEST ♪
323
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,921
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME ♪
324
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,186
♪ WE ONLY GOT
THREE PROBLEMS ♪
325
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:45,295
♪ OUR PROBLEMS,
WE ONLY HAVE THREE ♪
326
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,068
ALSO, I JUST LOOKED BACK
327
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,327
OVER MY LIST OF PROBLEMS
IN AMERICA,
328
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:51,465
AND PROBLEMS TWO AND THREE
FALL UNDER THE SAME CATEGORY
329
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:52,841
OF CORPORATE GREED.
330
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:55,539
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND,
WITHOUT CORPORATIONS,
331
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,342
I WOULDN'T HAVE SOME
OF THE STUFF IN AMERICA
332
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:58,814
THAT I REALLY LOVE.
333
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:01,312
SO LET'S COMBINE
TWO AND THREE
334
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,954
AND THEN CROSS 'EM
OFF THE LIST!
335
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:05,079
THAT JUST LEAVES US
WITH UNEMPLOYMENT LINES,
336
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,945
OR ANY SORT OF LINE
FOR THAT MATTER.
337
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,823
LINES ARE THE MAIN PROBLEM
IN AMERICA!
338
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,823
♪ THERE IS ONE PROBLEM
IN AMERICA ♪
339
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,985
♪ ONE PROBLEM IN AMERICA ♪
340
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,464
♪ ONE PROBLEM
IN AMERICA ♪
341
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,502
♪ LINES ARE THE PROBLEM
IN AMERICA ♪
342
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,957
♪ LINES ARE
THE PROBLEM IN AMERICA ♪
343
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,366
♪ LINES ARE THE PROBLEM
IN AMERICA ♪
344
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:26,099
GOD BLESS THIS COUNTRY,
THE BEAUTIFUL U.S. OF A.!
345
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,806
[soundtrack laughter]
- WHOA!
346
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:30,378
I GOT SANDPAPER
STUCK TO MY HAND!
347
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,307
[laughter]
348
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:34,281
- HEY, ROOFERS,
THERE'S A PACKAGE FOR YOU.
349
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:36,411
all: OH.
350
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,316
[soundtrack laughter]
351
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,288
- THERE'S A NOTE.
352
00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:42,517
- IT'S FROM OUR EX-GIRLFRIEND.
353
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,162
[laughter]
354
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,087
"DEAR ROOFERS,
355
00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:47,291
"REMEMBER THAT NIGHT
IN MONTE CARLO?
356
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:50,304
"SAY HELLO TO YOUR...
DAUGHTER"?
357
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:51,257
- [gasps]
358
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,104
[all gasp]
359
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,599
- YOU GOTTA BE
KIDDING US.
360
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:57,501
- YOU KNOW,
I USED TO GO AND SEE
361
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,944
THE BEATLES PLAY
AT THE CAVERN CLUB.
362
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,609
THIS WAS
BEFORE THEY GOT REALLY BIG.
363
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,337
THAT WAS REALLY SOMETHING.
364
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:07,452
- WELL, UH, I USED TO KNOW
THE GOOFY ROOFERS.
365
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:10,277
[indistinct chatter]
366
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,953
- WELL, THAT TOPS ME.
367
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:17,589
- [scoffs]
368
00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:19,621
SORRY TO RUIN
YOUR PEANUT PARTY.
369
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:23,286
- WE CAN'T RAISE A BABY!
WE WORK ON A ROOF!
370
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,496
[soundtrack laughter]
371
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:27,327
- THANKS FOR WATCHING
THIS WEEK'S EPISODE, FOLKS,
372
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:30,074
BUT BEFORE WE GO,
WE WOULD LIKE TO PAY TRIBUTE
373
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,340
TO ONE SPECIAL PERSON
374
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,398
WHO HELPED US GET
TO WHERE WE ARE TODAY.
375
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:36,036
AND THAT PERSON IS...
376
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,442
THE PRESIDENT
OF THE NETWORK.
377
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:39,575
THANK YOU.
378
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,309
[orchestral music
and applause]
379
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:42,984
- THANKS, BOYS,
380
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,353
BUT I CAN'T TAKE
ALL THE CREDIT.
381
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:47,321
THERE'S SOMEBODY THAT I WOULD
LIKE TO THANK AS WELL.
382
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,490
[drum roll]
383
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,318
OUR NETWORK'S LARGEST
CORPORATE SHAREHOLDER,
384
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:53,323
BILLIONAIRE
TADASHI TANAKA.
385
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,056
[applause]
386
00:14:55,061 --> 00:15:00,671
- [laughs and shouts]
387
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:03,567
[cheering]
388
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,140
- I'LL SHOW YA.
389
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:08,409
[orchestral music]
- I CAN'T MAKE LUNCH!
390
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:12,238
I HAVE TO DO LUNCH!
[soundtrack laughter]
391
00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:17,947
[guitar chord]
392
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:18,921
[overlapping chatter]
393
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,319
- GOT ANOTHER PITCHER
OF WATER.
394
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,090
- HEY!
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
395
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,348
THANKS SO MUCH.
- WHAT'D I MISS?
396
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,356
WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
397
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:27,557
- WOMEN.
THE "FAIRER SEX," IF YOU WILL.
398
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:28,430
- YEAH.
399
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:31,098
- TIM OVER HERE WAS JUST
TALKING ABOUT THE BREASTS.
400
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,357
- YOU'RE TAKING THAT
OUT OF CONTEXT.
401
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:35,195
WHAT I SAID WAS,
I FIND THE BREASTS
402
00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:37,001
TO BE ATTRACTIVE,
YOU KNOW?
403
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:39,243
THEY'RE JUST SORT OF,
WELL, SEXY TO ME.
404
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,569
- NO, I GET IT.
I GET WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM.
405
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:46,314
- PRIME EXAMPLE--I ACTUALLY HAVE
A THING FOR THE BUTTOCKS.
406
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,583
- SO WHAT IS IS
ABOUT THAT PART THAT, UH--
407
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:49,711
IT JUST CATCHES
YOUR EYE, OR--
408
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:53,576
- SOMETIMES, YEAH, BUT,
I KNOW, THE BUTTOCKS, RIGHT?
409
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:56,146
BUT YEAH,
THE BUTTOCKS FOR ME!
410
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,686
- NO, ACTUALLY,
I GET IT.
411
00:15:57,691 --> 00:16:00,021
IT CAN BE KIND OF AROUSING
IN A WAY.
412
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:01,356
- THAT'S A GREAT WAY
OF PUTTING IT.
413
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:02,391
- WHAT?
414
00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,255
- THAT'S A GREAT WAY
OF PUTTING IT.
415
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:05,134
- OH!
416
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,201
- ESPECIALLY IF IT'S--
WELL, I SHOULDN'T SAY IT.
417
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,670
IT'S KIND OF WEIRD.
- COME ON, SAY IT, GO ON!
418
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,469
- WELL, IF IT'S FIT,
YOU KNOW?
419
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,411
SORT OF SUBSTANTIAL
BUT, LIKE, SHAPELY.
420
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,267
- OH.
- AH, WHAT AM I SAYING?
421
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,376
I DON'T KNOW.
- NO, NO, NO, NO.
422
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:19,138
- IT'S OKAY.
423
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,045
YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU NEED
TO BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF.
424
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:22,007
- RIGHT.
- YEAH.
425
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,045
- HEY, I GOT
MY OWN QUIRKS.
426
00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:26,219
I MEAN, IF I SEE A WOMAN
WITH A SYMMETRICAL FACE--
427
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,989
- EYES, NOSE, MOUTH,
ET CETERA.
428
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,359
- RIGHT, RIGHT.
IF SHE HAS, LIKE, NICE SKIN
429
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:32,758
AND A PROPORTIONAL BODY--
430
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,289
- LIKE THE CLASSICAL IDEA
OF BEAUTY.
431
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:36,285
- EXACTLY!
432
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:39,556
IF SHE FITS THE CLASSICAL IDEA
OF BEAUTY, IT JUST--
433
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,426
- I'M JUST TRYING
TO PICTURE THIS, THOUGH.
434
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:42,604
SO, UH--
- OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
435
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:43,742
I GOTTA SAY THIS,
436
00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:45,697
AND I'VE WANTED TO SAY IT
MY WHOLE LIFE.
437
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,435
IF SHE'S NOT WEARING
CLOTHING, YOU KNOW?
438
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,481
LIKE, NO CLOTH
OR COVERING.
439
00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:52,477
OR--OR IF SHE IS
WEARING CLOTHING OR CLOTH,
440
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:57,049
BUT THERE'S A SUGGESTION
THAT MAYBE IT MIGHT FALL OFF,
441
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,420
I JUST--I TUNE IN AGAIN!
442
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,389
I SWITCH IT ON!
- YEAH.
443
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:02,448
- I COULD SEE THAT, YEAH.
444
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,255
- BUT WHAT IF SHE'S GOT
A GREAT PERSONALITY,
445
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,057
YOU KNOW, SHARES SOME
OF YOUR INTERESTS AND GOALS?
446
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:10,660
- AND SHE'S LOYAL, YOU KNOW,
BUT SHE'S NOT OVERBEARING.
447
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,503
- WHEN I MEET A WOMAN
LIKE THAT,
448
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:15,469
IT'S LIKE--
HEY, WHAT DO I KNOW?
449
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:18,468
COUNT ME IN, I GUESS.
- YEAH!
450
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,471
- I MAY EVEN GET AROUSED,
TO BORROW CHRIS'S TERM.
451
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:24,083
- WHAT?
- HE SAID HE'D GET AROUSED.
452
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,207
- OH, YEAH.
WILD, HOW IT ALL WORKS.
453
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,212
- YEAH.
- HEY, GUYS.
454
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,314
BUY SOME DRINKS
AND QUIET DOWN OR LEAVE.
455
00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:32,616
THE LADY'S TRYING
TO DO A SHOW.
456
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:35,089
[rock music playing]
457
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:38,488
- OH, OKAY, ABSOLUTELY.
WE'LL LEAVE.
458
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:39,621
- BYE.
- SORRY ABOUT THAT.
459
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:42,356
- EXCUSE ME.
- SORRY. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
460
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,492
- SORRY.
461
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,626
[upbeat music]
462
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,802
- I'M DEAN STRICKLER,
463
00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:50,771
AND YOU HAD BETTER BE
READY TO GRADUATE
464
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:54,570
FROM YOUR TWIN BED TO
THIS BEAUTIFUL NEW QUEEN-SIZED.
465
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:59,414
GOOD NEWS--YOU, YOUNG MAN,
ARE HEREBY SUSPENDED
466
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:02,252
FROM THIS BEAUTIFUL
NEW HAMMOCK,
467
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,208
NOW ON SALE.
468
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:05,846
MY NAME IS DEAN STRICKLER,
AND I SELL FURNITURE.
469
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:08,422
I'M NOT IN CHARGE
OF A COLLEGE.
470
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,791
THERE. I SAID IT.
471
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:14,261
[upbeat music]
472
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:16,757
- [exhales]
473
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:20,333
[hammering]
474
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:26,744
[taps]
475
00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:41,423
[sobbing]
476
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,759
- THANKS, EVERYBODY!
477
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:47,688
[cheers and applause]
- THANK YOU!
478
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:48,694
- HEY!
- WHOA!
479
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:53,425
[cheers and applause]
480
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:56,773
- YEAH, IT WAS
A GOOD RUN, THOUGH, IT WAS.
481
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,273
- HEY, GU--HEY, GUYS.
482
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,373
IT'S ME,
MR. VANDELLO.
483
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,565
HOW'S IT GOING?
484
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,576
I'M A BIG FAN
OF THE SHOW.
485
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:09,208
HEY, WOULD YOU SIGN
MY BOOK FOR ME?
486
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:11,751
- SURE.
- GREAT.
487
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:13,581
I LOVE YOUR SHOW.
488
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,616
I CAN'T WAIT
FOR NEXT SEASON.
489
00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:18,722
- [laughs]
- [mutters]
490
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:22,555
- ACTUALLY, THERE WON'T BE
A NEXT SEASON.
491
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,602
- WHAT?
492
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,397
- IT GOT CANCELED.
493
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:29,469
- THAT'S TOO BAD.
- I DON'T KNOW.
494
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,599
I THINK IT WAS
PRETTY INEVITABLE, REALLY.
495
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:34,344
I MEAN, GOOFY ROOFERS?
496
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,440
IT'S PRETTY STUPID.
497
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:36,911
- SURE, IT SOUNDS FUNNY
FOR A SECOND,
498
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:39,680
BUT IT'S NOT LIKE
THAT CAN SUSTAIN ITSELF.
499
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,609
- WHAT'S RELEVANT
ABOUT IT?
500
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,483
WHAT'S TIMELY
OR RELATABLE
501
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:43,482
ABOUT A BUNCH OF ROOFERS
502
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:44,653
SMACKING EACH OTHER
AROUND?
503
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:46,481
- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
NOTHING.
504
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:47,946
- IT'S A HACK JOB,
YOU KNOW? A LARK.
505
00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:50,494
AND YOU CAN'T BE WASTING
PEOPLE'S TIME WITH THAT CRAP.
506
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,620
- IT'S JUST NOT WORTHY
OF BEING BROADCAST,
507
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,855
WHETHER IT'S A SITCOM OR
A RUNNING GAG ON A SKETCH SHOW.
508
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,562
I MEAN, THIS IS TV
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE.
509
00:19:58,565 --> 00:19:59,795
- IT'S A BIG PRODUCTION--
510
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,569
CREW, TRUCKS, ELECTRICIANS,
AND FOR WHAT?
511
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:03,968
GOOFY ROOFERS?
NO, THANK YOU.
512
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,840
- AND THE WORST PART
OF IT ALL,
513
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:09,568
THINK OF THE VIEWERS
COMING HOME FROM WORK,
514
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,736
TIRED, JUST LOOKING FOR
A LITTLE BIT OF ENTERTAINMENT.
515
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:16,354
DO YOU REALLY THINK
THEY WANT GOOFY ROOFERS? NO WAY.
516
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:18,379
- IT'S A COMPLETE GODDAMN
WASTE OF TIME.
517
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,994
- MM-HMM.
- WELL, I LID IT.
518
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:24,387
HEY, YOU GUYS WANT
TO COME FIX MY ROOF AGAIN?
519
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,490
IT STILL HAS A HOLE IN IT.
520
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:26,861
IT'LL BE JUST LIKE
OLD TIMES--
521
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:30,659
YOU KNOW, BEFORE THE TV SHOW
AND THE TELL-ALL BOOKS.
522
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,963
MAYBE AFTER ALL,
EVERYTHING YOU WERE LOOKING FOR
523
00:20:32,966 --> 00:20:35,926
WAS RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE
AND OVER YOUR HEADS,
524
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:38,535
JUST LIKE
YOUR THEME SONG SAYS.
525
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:41,608
[upbeat music]
526
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:42,668
♪ ♪
527
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:43,565
[laughs]
528
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,976
- YEE-HOO-HOO!
- [laughs]
529
00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:49,580
♪ ♪
530
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,982
[laughter]
531
00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:56,624
♪ ♪
532
00:20:56,623 --> 00:21:00,593
- ♪ ROOFERS ♪
533
00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:03,791
[upbeat music]
534
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:05,326
- I'M BACK, BABY!
535
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:06,561
I ALREADY TOLD YOU
SOME OF THE PROBLEMS
536
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:07,696
I HAVE WITH AMERICA,
537
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,370
BUT I AIN'T DONE YET.
538
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:10,499
NOW I'M GONNA TELL YOU
539
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:15,913
THREE THINGS THAT I LOVE!
540
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:17,878
♪ I REALLY LOVE
GOOD WI-FI ♪
541
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:19,977
♪ AND A MAJOR LEAGUE BALL GAME ♪
542
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:21,879
♪ SEASON ONE
OF GOOFY ROOFERS ♪
543
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:24,051
♪ THAT SHOW IS SO INSANE ♪
544
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:26,020
♪ YEAH, WHEN IT COMES
TO AMERICA ♪
545
00:21:26,019 --> 00:21:28,449
♪ THE WOMEN CAN'T BE BEAT ♪
[glasses clink]
546
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,494
♪ BUT A GIRL
WITH A GREAT MIND AND BODY ♪
547
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,590
♪ THAT'S THE ONE
I WANT TO MEET ♪
548
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:34,832
♪ I REALLY LOVE
DAVE MATTHEWS ♪
549
00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:36,987
♪ HIS CONCERTS
ARE A THRILL ♪
550
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:38,796
♪ AND WHEN I'M CRAVING
MOZZA STICKS ♪
551
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,598
♪ I HEAD
TO TV SPORTSZONE GRILL ♪
552
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:41,430
[chomps]
553
00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:43,374
♪ I LOVE
THE COLLEGE LIFESTYLE ♪
554
00:21:43,369 --> 00:21:45,369
♪ THE FRATS
ARE ALL SO GREAT ♪
555
00:21:45,371 --> 00:21:47,611
♪ I BUY MY CHAIRS
FROM DEAN STRICKLER ♪
556
00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:49,367
♪ BEST SALESMAN
IN THE STATE ♪
557
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:51,605
♪ I'M JUST NOW
STARTING TO REALIZE ♪
558
00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:53,781
♪ THAT MY LIST
IS MORE THAN THREE ♪
559
00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:55,410
♪ BUT THERE'S
TOO MUCH GOOD STUFF ♪
560
00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:56,545
♪ IN THIS COUNTRY
THAT I LOVE ♪
561
00:21:56,549 --> 00:21:59,379
♪ THE LAND OF THE FREE ♪
562
00:22:00,752 --> 00:22:02,752
- OH! SHAVING!
563
00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:03,785
[laughter]
564
00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:05,660
YOU'RE NOT SHAVING.
565
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:06,918
OH!
[laughs]
566
00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:09,686
[laughter]
- ♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪
567
00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:11,596
- [laughs]
OH!
568
00:22:11,597 --> 00:22:13,797
- CHECK ME OUT.
I'M A ROOF!
569
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:17,100
[laughter]
- AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH!
570
00:22:17,103 --> 00:22:18,443
[thud]
571
00:22:18,438 --> 00:22:20,038
[laughter stops]
572
00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:22,639
[groans]
573
00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:25,382
- SOMEBODY CALL 911!
574
00:22:25,378 --> 00:22:31,578
[siren wailing]
39361
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