All language subtitles for Shed.Of.The.Dead.2019.720p.BluRay.x264-[YTS.AM]en
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,345 --> 00:00:04,248
(DRONING SOUND)
2
00:00:06,084 --> 00:00:09,285
(OMINOUS TONE)
3
00:00:10,353 --> 00:00:13,357
(DRAMATIC ORCHESTRA)
4
00:00:13,358 --> 00:00:15,482
Subtitles by explosiveskull
5
00:00:18,028 --> 00:00:21,497
NARRATOR: The battle was all but over.
6
00:00:21,498 --> 00:00:23,632
The forces of good, the living
7
00:00:23,633 --> 00:00:26,768
had fallen by the thousands.
8
00:00:26,769 --> 00:00:30,905
The risen dead
swept over them in a vile,
9
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:35,943
and cankerous wave
that knew not when to break.
10
00:00:35,944 --> 00:00:39,380
But as long as
their fearless leader,
11
00:00:39,381 --> 00:00:42,816
the mighty Casimir the Destroyer,
12
00:00:42,817 --> 00:00:47,487
battle mage, warrior,
and renowned tactician
13
00:00:47,488 --> 00:00:50,123
still drew breath,
14
00:00:50,124 --> 00:00:53,927
there was yet some hope.
15
00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:58,563
And as the horde
of hell's spawn dead,
16
00:00:58,564 --> 00:01:01,867
raised by the evil necromancer.
17
00:01:01,868 --> 00:01:05,938
Morana, grew
closer, unwittingly lured
18
00:01:05,939 --> 00:01:07,973
into a fatal pincer movement,
19
00:01:07,974 --> 00:01:12,911
through the otherwise impassable
sulphur swamps of Sagra,
20
00:01:12,912 --> 00:01:17,916
Casimir knew he had
them in the palm of his hand.
21
00:01:17,917 --> 00:01:20,651
Knew that a historic victory
22
00:01:20,652 --> 00:01:24,155
was but a single blow away.
23
00:01:24,156 --> 00:01:26,924
There was no
escaping the fury
24
00:01:26,925 --> 00:01:30,560
of Casimir's blazing damnation.
25
00:01:30,561 --> 00:01:35,165
The magically conjured
flames burned hard and fast
26
00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:38,869
devouring the
undead in a matter of seconds.
27
00:01:40,704 --> 00:01:44,172
And for the first
of many times to come,
28
00:01:44,173 --> 00:01:47,709
Casimir looked down triumphant
29
00:01:47,710 --> 00:01:50,011
upon the carnage he had wrought.
30
00:01:50,012 --> 00:01:54,182
Upon the victory he had
single-handedly wretched
31
00:01:54,183 --> 00:01:59,087
from the rotten jaws
of almost certain defeat.
32
00:01:59,088 --> 00:02:02,090
(CROWD CHEERING SOUND)
33
00:02:03,992 --> 00:02:06,995
(DRONING SOUND)
34
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:14,401
(EPIC ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
35
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,612
(MUSIC SOUND LEVELS DROP)
36
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:29,616
(TRAIN RIDING ON TRACKS SOUND)
37
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:33,951
(TRAIN WHISTLE SOUND)
38
00:02:33,952 --> 00:02:38,089
TREVOR: Casimir would not rest
until his nemesis Morana had fallen.
39
00:02:38,090 --> 00:02:40,159
(DOOR CLOSING SOUND)
40
00:02:40,926 --> 00:02:44,929
Along with her scurrilous lapdog
of a so-called swordsman,
41
00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:46,932
Sir Brandt.
42
00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:52,436
Fuck sake.
43
00:02:53,938 --> 00:02:56,606
Oh! Mr. Parsons.
44
00:02:56,607 --> 00:02:59,743
PARSONS: Afternoon. Trevor isn't it?
45
00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:01,612
Last time I checked!
46
00:03:03,047 --> 00:03:05,247
Right. I've been
meaning to have a word.
47
00:03:05,248 --> 00:03:07,951
See the thing is
that some of us here.
48
00:03:11,487 --> 00:03:12,488
Sorry!
49
00:03:14,157 --> 00:03:18,260
Fundamentally,
some of us here.
50
00:03:18,261 --> 00:03:21,262
W-we take pride.
51
00:03:21,263 --> 00:03:23,798
I'm not sure how to-
52
00:03:23,799 --> 00:03:25,867
your plot's a disgrace.
53
00:03:25,868 --> 00:03:28,802
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
54
00:03:28,803 --> 00:03:30,671
Well, it's a little
on the barren side but
55
00:03:30,672 --> 00:03:32,606
it's got some
post-apocalyptic charm.
56
00:03:32,607 --> 00:03:33,740
Clearly.
57
00:03:33,741 --> 00:03:36,009
Disgrace is a very strong word.
58
00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:39,912
But it's
accurate. Look around you.
59
00:03:39,913 --> 00:03:43,916
Do you see anything out of
place in my plot? No, nothing.
60
00:03:43,917 --> 00:03:44,984
It's beauty.
61
00:03:44,985 --> 00:03:48,688
Ted and Irene may be
slow, but they're methodical.
62
00:03:48,689 --> 00:03:50,823
Even Birch keeps his end up.
63
00:03:50,824 --> 00:03:53,625
Peter, almost as
annoying as you are,
64
00:03:53,626 --> 00:03:55,860
but at least he
knows what he's doing.
65
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,763
And Doc doesn't do
anything at all, but he's tidy.
66
00:03:58,764 --> 00:04:00,732
Now you, on the other hand,
67
00:04:00,733 --> 00:04:03,301
you are more than
letting the side down.
68
00:04:03,302 --> 00:04:05,637
To be honest
gardening isn't really my thing.
69
00:04:05,638 --> 00:04:08,238
Jesus Christ! Why do
you have an allotment then?
70
00:04:08,239 --> 00:04:11,008
Why do you come here
and spoil it for the rest of us?
71
00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:12,676
I'd be willing
to put up a fence.
72
00:04:12,677 --> 00:04:15,680
Look, we've gotten
together and signed a petition.
73
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:20,751
We're giving it to the
landlord tomorrow morning.
74
00:04:20,752 --> 00:04:24,954
And I sincerely hope
he decides to evict you,
75
00:04:24,955 --> 00:04:26,688
and your terrible
hair-do. Good day!
76
00:04:26,689 --> 00:04:29,558
What? No! No, no,
no, no, no, no! I'll tidy up.
77
00:04:29,559 --> 00:04:33,063
I'll, I'll plant some seeds!
I'll, I'll, plant the crap fu...
78
00:04:35,933 --> 00:04:36,934
God.
79
00:04:40,736 --> 00:04:43,239
(FLY BUZZING SOUND)
80
00:04:48,610 --> 00:04:49,611
Oh!
81
00:05:01,922 --> 00:05:03,257
Oooh!
82
00:05:10,598 --> 00:05:12,331
Woo!
83
00:05:12,332 --> 00:05:15,535
(ROCK MUSIC BEGINS ABRUPTLY)
84
00:05:29,381 --> 00:05:32,583
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)
85
00:05:40,959 --> 00:05:42,961
(ELEVATOR BELL SOUND)
86
00:05:55,639 --> 00:05:58,642
(RAT SQUEAKING SOUND)
87
00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:15,223
BOBBI: Harriet, why don't you
come round to mine after work?
88
00:06:15,224 --> 00:06:16,957
I've got some pear vodka.
89
00:06:16,958 --> 00:06:18,792
HARRIET: Oh, yes, please!
90
00:06:18,793 --> 00:06:21,328
Funny innit like, us
sitting here doing nothing,
91
00:06:21,329 --> 00:06:24,965
makes you more tired
than when you're busy, eh?
92
00:06:24,966 --> 00:06:26,900
You're not wrong Bobbi.
93
00:06:26,901 --> 00:06:30,003
It's a bit like
shagging, if you think about it.
94
00:06:30,004 --> 00:06:32,305
The more you do
it, the more you want it.
95
00:06:32,306 --> 00:06:35,309
It only makes you more
horny. It's really annoying.
96
00:06:36,410 --> 00:06:38,178
I wouldn't know.
97
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,680
When are you going to be done?
98
00:06:41,681 --> 00:06:45,818
Oh, it's just my Derek
now. A little quick half hour.
99
00:06:45,819 --> 00:06:49,020
But I'll do him
quick today, yeah?
100
00:06:49,021 --> 00:06:51,022
(DOOR BELL SOUNDS)
101
00:06:51,023 --> 00:06:53,425
DEREK: There she blows.
102
00:06:53,426 --> 00:06:55,128
HARRIET: Hi darling!
103
00:06:56,895 --> 00:07:01,333
Aww, I love presents. Thank you.
104
00:07:01,334 --> 00:07:03,301
Do you want a little shower?
105
00:07:03,302 --> 00:07:07,070
- I'm clean as a whistle.
- Mmm.
106
00:07:07,071 --> 00:07:10,374
Well, I'll have to
blow you to find out won't I?
107
00:07:10,375 --> 00:07:11,376
Yes!
108
00:07:14,178 --> 00:07:15,179
Hmm.
109
00:07:18,048 --> 00:07:20,316
(DOG BARKING SOUNDS)
110
00:07:20,317 --> 00:07:21,851
DOC: Trevor?
111
00:07:24,421 --> 00:07:25,422
Doc!
112
00:07:27,056 --> 00:07:29,959
I didn't sign the
petition by the way.
113
00:07:31,895 --> 00:07:33,862
Thanks.
114
00:07:33,863 --> 00:07:38,266
My motto is,
"Live and let live".
115
00:07:38,267 --> 00:07:39,801
I appreciate that.
116
00:07:44,373 --> 00:07:47,176
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
117
00:07:51,246 --> 00:07:53,180
Don't come in here
asking where your dinner is.
118
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:56,183
While you've been flouncing
around at your allotment,
119
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:59,785
I've been at work all day.
So, no. I haven't cooked yet.
120
00:07:59,786 --> 00:08:04,757
Oh, hi Trev!
Nice T-shirt! Mmm.
121
00:08:04,758 --> 00:08:05,824
(INHALING SOUND)
122
00:08:05,825 --> 00:08:09,261
Trevor!
I didn't say I was hungry.
123
00:08:09,262 --> 00:08:11,029
I heard you think it.
124
00:08:11,030 --> 00:08:13,032
No, well, we left you some.
125
00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:17,035
Thanks.
126
00:08:17,036 --> 00:08:19,038
That's very generous of you!
127
00:08:20,973 --> 00:08:23,774
I'm the one bringing the
money in while you're indulging
128
00:08:23,775 --> 00:08:26,311
in some pathetic male fantasy.
129
00:08:26,312 --> 00:08:29,380
Well, as Harriet can attest,
it is possible to do both.
130
00:08:29,381 --> 00:08:31,482
You know, maybe you should just
embrace the dual nature of your
131
00:08:31,483 --> 00:08:33,951
business, and call
the salon, "Hand Job".
132
00:08:33,952 --> 00:08:36,220
Oooh! You're looking
very pretty today Harriet.
133
00:08:36,221 --> 00:08:38,155
Would you mind if I, umm?
134
00:08:38,156 --> 00:08:40,389
(CAMERA SHUTTER SOUND)
135
00:08:40,390 --> 00:08:43,125
I'm going off to
Graham's. Help me, God!
136
00:08:43,126 --> 00:08:45,795
(DOOR OPENING AND
SLAMMING SHUT SOUNDS)
137
00:08:45,796 --> 00:08:50,099
He's not the sharpest tool in
the shed, is he, your husband?
138
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:53,103
(BATTLEFIELD SOUNDS)
139
00:08:55,905 --> 00:08:58,908
(INDISCERNIBLE YELLING)
140
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:06,147
GRAHAM: Yeah, well,
you know what I think?
141
00:09:06,148 --> 00:09:08,483
I think you should
unleash some of that old.
142
00:09:08,484 --> 00:09:10,252
Casimir vengeance on him.
143
00:09:10,253 --> 00:09:12,152
Graham, I'm not
going to kill someone
144
00:09:12,153 --> 00:09:14,388
for trying to evict me
from my bloody allotment.
145
00:09:14,389 --> 00:09:17,358
Or you could get that guy
you think's a serial killer to
146
00:09:17,359 --> 00:09:19,493
dissolve him in a
vat of acid or something.
147
00:09:19,494 --> 00:09:22,028
I didn't say he was a serial
killer. I said he was creepy,
148
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,930
and it's weird
his plot is bare earth.
149
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,600
Or maybe you could put
pesticide in his Horlicks,
150
00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:29,835
dress him up as a scarecrow,
and hide him in plain sight?
151
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:32,605
What is wrong with you?
I'm not going to kill anyone.
152
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,206
Yeah, well you weren't
this squeamish when you were
153
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:37,209
fire-bombing my zombies earlier.
154
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:40,413
You really have no grip
on the real world do you?
155
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:43,116
Well I guess you
could learn how to garden.
156
00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:52,290
Oh, I got that picture
of Harriet you wanted.
157
00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:53,491
But this is the
last time, alright?
158
00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:56,193
Everybody's starting
to think I'm a weirdo.
159
00:09:56,194 --> 00:10:00,196
My sweet Lady Harriet Morana.
160
00:10:00,197 --> 00:10:04,267
Sir Brandt at your service!
161
00:10:04,268 --> 00:10:07,337
I can't believe
you're basing Morana on her.
162
00:10:07,338 --> 00:10:10,407
Oh, yes! She's fit!
163
00:10:10,408 --> 00:10:13,576
Plus, Sir Brandt
gets to bed her!
164
00:10:13,577 --> 00:10:16,412
Only because no one
else in her army has a pulse.
165
00:10:16,413 --> 00:10:19,515
Yes, she has a whole legion
of skeletons at her command,
166
00:10:19,516 --> 00:10:21,916
yet it is I, Sir Brandt,
167
00:10:21,917 --> 00:10:24,453
who gets to bone her! Haha.
168
00:10:24,454 --> 00:10:26,522
You know, there are far
hotter women on the internet,
169
00:10:26,523 --> 00:10:27,922
some wearing a lot less?
170
00:10:27,923 --> 00:10:29,291
Arrrgh, aargh,
no, no, no, no, n...
171
00:10:29,292 --> 00:10:31,226
What is your
problem with the internet?
172
00:10:31,227 --> 00:10:33,461
Online Gamers.
173
00:10:33,462 --> 00:10:37,365
Heathens. Heathens, man!
174
00:10:37,366 --> 00:10:40,335
Oh, go on, send me
that picture would you?!
175
00:10:40,336 --> 00:10:42,069
I don't even know why
you have a mobile phone.
176
00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:43,538
You never
bloody leave the house!
177
00:10:43,539 --> 00:10:46,407
Hey, don't knock my Agoraphobia.
178
00:10:46,408 --> 00:10:50,176
Plus, I need a way to
get my DLA you know. My er...
179
00:10:50,177 --> 00:10:52,978
Dragon Living
Allowance. Yes, very good.
180
00:10:52,979 --> 00:10:54,447
Why can't I have a dragon?
181
00:10:54,448 --> 00:10:57,150
Well, firstly
Morana is a necromancer.
182
00:10:58,352 --> 00:11:01,454
Well, why can't I
have an undead dragon?
183
00:11:01,455 --> 00:11:04,289
- Sending.
- No, no, wait! Wait!
184
00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:06,624
- Ahhh!
- Ahahaha.
185
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,059
TREVOR: Whoops!
186
00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:09,161
You cheat!
187
00:11:10,162 --> 00:11:12,297
When they're down, they're down!
188
00:11:12,298 --> 00:11:14,299
Shouldn't leave your
phone on the battlefield!
189
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:16,434
(OMINOUS TONE)
Curse you Casimir!
190
00:11:16,435 --> 00:11:20,504
The dead shall rise,
and tear your world asunder!
191
00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:22,639
Tell that to a couple of D8's.
192
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,174
Boom!
193
00:11:24,175 --> 00:11:27,178
(OMINOUS MUSICAL BUILD UP)
194
00:11:28,546 --> 00:11:30,548
ZOMBIE: Arrrggh.
195
00:11:39,956 --> 00:11:41,458
Arrrgh.
196
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,128
(CLOSING DOOR SOUND)
197
00:11:46,129 --> 00:11:48,131
(APPROACHING FOOTSTEP SOUNDS)
198
00:11:51,067 --> 00:11:54,069
(SNORING SOUNDS)
199
00:11:58,708 --> 00:12:00,409
Bobbi?
200
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:10,483
Ssstupid, bloody whale.
201
00:12:10,484 --> 00:12:13,253
Bobbi, D...
202
00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:15,956
(FARTING SOUNDS)
203
00:12:17,291 --> 00:12:18,993
I'll be on the sofa.
204
00:12:23,329 --> 00:12:26,665
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(TRUMPET INTRO MUSIC)
205
00:12:26,666 --> 00:12:28,534
DAVE-RADIO HOST:
Hello and welcome back. Ah,
206
00:12:28,535 --> 00:12:29,768
Right, coming up
'you are what you eat'
207
00:12:29,769 --> 00:12:34,139
we look at the pitfalls and
benefits of a protein only diet.
208
00:12:34,140 --> 00:12:37,209
But first, Dick. What do we
make of this macabre business?
209
00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:39,244
DICK: Oh ho. Just in case you're
tuning in for the first time
210
00:12:39,245 --> 00:12:41,145
folks, what Dave is
referring to is the apparent
211
00:12:41,146 --> 00:12:43,013
grave robbing in
Nunhead cemetery.
212
00:12:43,014 --> 00:12:45,483
DAVE: Hahaha. I think,
I think grave robbing is a bit strong...
213
00:12:45,484 --> 00:12:47,351
DICK: No, no, no.
We-well, what would you call it then?
214
00:12:47,352 --> 00:12:49,520
DAVE: Ahh-uhh, prrff,
Halloween pranks?
215
00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:51,489
DICK: Haha, Well it's not like
the corpses just got up and
216
00:12:51,490 --> 00:12:52,723
walked off is it? Hahaha!
217
00:12:52,724 --> 00:12:55,091
DAVE: Hahaha I'd like to see!
218
00:12:55,092 --> 00:12:58,562
DICK: So Dave, what's in store for
us today in terms of the weather?
219
00:12:58,563 --> 00:13:01,130
DAVE: Well Dick, it's a proper
Autumnal day out there today,
220
00:13:01,131 --> 00:13:04,601
but you can expect a lot of
heavy low lying fog tonight.
221
00:13:04,602 --> 00:13:06,670
So, do be careful
if you're out and about.
222
00:13:06,671 --> 00:13:09,138
BOBBI: Trevor?
223
00:13:09,139 --> 00:13:10,140
Trevor!
224
00:13:11,575 --> 00:13:14,276
Trevor you planning
on sleeping all day?!
225
00:13:15,745 --> 00:13:18,246
- TREVOR!?
- Whaa!
226
00:13:18,247 --> 00:13:20,448
Ow! What, Jesus?
227
00:13:20,449 --> 00:13:21,649
Just because
you're between jobs,
228
00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:23,451
doesn't mean you can lay
around doing fuck all every day!
229
00:13:23,452 --> 00:13:25,186
You should
be out looking for a job!
230
00:13:25,187 --> 00:13:27,088
And pick your dirty
clothes up from the floor.
231
00:13:27,089 --> 00:13:28,222
Is that for me?
232
00:13:28,223 --> 00:13:29,423
No, you make your own.
233
00:13:29,424 --> 00:13:31,458
And your dad's golf clubs are
over there, so take 'em to the
234
00:13:31,459 --> 00:13:33,293
charity shop because it's
not like you play, is it?
235
00:13:33,294 --> 00:13:34,661
I might have to start.
236
00:13:34,662 --> 00:13:35,696
You know what Trevor,
237
00:13:35,697 --> 00:13:38,666
you know better than
to fucking argue with me!
238
00:13:40,101 --> 00:13:42,103
- Pfftt.
- Oh!
239
00:13:46,707 --> 00:13:49,242
God, I swear you only started
smoking to aggravate my asthma!
240
00:13:49,243 --> 00:13:52,378
You ungrateful sod! I'm doing
it to lose weight, for you!
241
00:13:52,379 --> 00:13:54,145
Yeah, is that why you
didn't eat all the extra large
242
00:13:54,146 --> 00:13:55,113
pizza as well?
243
00:13:55,114 --> 00:13:57,650
Do you know what
Trevor? I'm going to work.
244
00:13:57,651 --> 00:14:01,219
You know, remember
work?! You fucking lazy sod!
245
00:14:03,823 --> 00:14:08,125
Ahhh! Fuck.
246
00:14:08,126 --> 00:14:10,428
(SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA)
Oh, Christ.
247
00:14:10,429 --> 00:14:12,129
Kill me!
248
00:14:12,130 --> 00:14:14,131
Come on, boy!
249
00:14:14,132 --> 00:14:17,535
DEREK: I am a very, very bad horse.
250
00:14:17,536 --> 00:14:20,738
Horses don't talk!
251
00:14:20,739 --> 00:14:22,539
Quiet!
252
00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:25,676
Horses just buck!
253
00:14:25,677 --> 00:14:26,677
(HORSE WHINNY SOUND)
254
00:14:26,678 --> 00:14:28,411
Stop.
255
00:14:28,412 --> 00:14:30,480
(INTENSE CLASSICAL MUSIC)
256
00:14:30,481 --> 00:14:31,480
Haha!
257
00:14:31,481 --> 00:14:34,183
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
258
00:14:35,118 --> 00:14:38,121
(HORSE SOUNDS)
259
00:14:44,294 --> 00:14:46,663
Giddy up!
260
00:14:49,231 --> 00:14:52,700
Come on! Oh, woah! Derek?
261
00:14:52,701 --> 00:14:54,902
Dereeeek?
262
00:14:54,903 --> 00:14:57,104
Come on. T-t-t-t-t.
263
00:14:58,707 --> 00:14:59,708
To-oot?
264
00:15:01,175 --> 00:15:02,678
Darling?
265
00:15:04,679 --> 00:15:07,179
Remember the safe word!
266
00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:08,315
(HORSE NICKER SOUND)
267
00:15:08,316 --> 00:15:11,685
HARRIET: Well, that's not it!
Come on, it's banana.
268
00:15:11,686 --> 00:15:13,853
Derek?
269
00:15:13,854 --> 00:15:15,187
DEREK?
270
00:15:15,188 --> 00:15:17,323
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
271
00:15:17,324 --> 00:15:19,758
TREVOR: (INDISTINCT)
Dark cow!
272
00:15:19,759 --> 00:15:22,528
Oh, yeah. I gave you some pizza!
273
00:15:22,529 --> 00:15:24,362
Stupid bloody friend.
274
00:15:24,363 --> 00:15:28,601
Little ho. Little pfft. Fucking
stupid! Gosh, she's such a lit...
275
00:15:28,602 --> 00:15:31,569
Bloody what? I'm stupid. Must
have she grab my cock in the
276
00:15:31,570 --> 00:15:33,304
night club. Next thing I know,
277
00:15:33,305 --> 00:15:35,639
I'm bloody
married to her for life.
278
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,342
Poor Derek!
279
00:15:38,242 --> 00:15:40,544
All he wanted was an
early morning ride, wasn't it?
280
00:15:40,545 --> 00:15:44,314
It's alright. Go on.
281
00:15:44,315 --> 00:15:46,216
Well, you know, he wanted
to play his favorite game,
282
00:15:46,217 --> 00:15:47,651
you know, that.
283
00:15:47,652 --> 00:15:49,820
Horsey play.
284
00:15:49,821 --> 00:15:52,755
He loved that!
285
00:15:52,756 --> 00:15:55,891
No, but I just kept on
really pushing it, and saying,
286
00:15:55,892 --> 00:15:58,894
"giddy up, giddy up,
faster" spanking his ass!
287
00:15:58,895 --> 00:16:01,297
And I was getting
really into it, and-
288
00:16:01,298 --> 00:16:05,901
It just uh, it got too much for
him. And he collapsed on me.
289
00:16:05,902 --> 00:16:07,102
Oh, he didn't?!
290
00:16:07,103 --> 00:16:09,237
And there was nothing I could
do, and I was saying, "Say the
291
00:16:09,238 --> 00:16:11,773
safe word, say the safe word".
292
00:16:11,774 --> 00:16:13,875
And he didn't. He just
kept on going, " Pfffft".
293
00:16:13,876 --> 00:16:16,645
And I forgot, he's got
such a delicate little heart.
294
00:16:16,646 --> 00:16:17,846
Oh, his little heart!
295
00:16:17,847 --> 00:16:19,246
And that's why
I really liked him,
296
00:16:19,247 --> 00:16:21,717
cause he was
actually a real gent.
297
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:26,820
Poor Derek.
298
00:16:26,821 --> 00:16:29,355
Oh, God.
299
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:33,594
Oh, Bobbi.
Oh, do you know what?
300
00:16:33,595 --> 00:16:35,597
He's still wearing my buttplug.
301
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,768
He is. He's still wearing my
buttplug. They're gonna find
302
00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:43,803
my buttplug up
there. That's not dignified.
303
00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:45,270
He wouldn't have want that.
304
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:47,305
Nope. Nope.
305
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:48,641
That's awkward.
306
00:16:49,877 --> 00:16:51,743
Stupid cow.
307
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,312
Stupid. I might as well
just put a bloody bed in here
308
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:55,579
and be done with it.
309
00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:57,315
(INDISCERNIBLE)
...Bloody.
310
00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:02,320
Parsons!
311
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:05,923
What?
312
00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:08,759
Is it true?
Are you distilling vodka?
313
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:09,627
What's it to you?
314
00:17:09,628 --> 00:17:11,828
What's it to me,
you little cock head?!
315
00:17:11,829 --> 00:17:13,530
Not that you'd
be affected by it,
316
00:17:13,531 --> 00:17:15,398
but a number of us
had our potato crops
317
00:17:15,399 --> 00:17:16,666
plundered last year.
318
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:18,968
- Aww!
- And I'd be willing to bet
319
00:17:18,969 --> 00:17:21,638
that if you are
indeed distilling vodka,
320
00:17:21,639 --> 00:17:23,873
then you're
probably the plunderer.
321
00:17:23,874 --> 00:17:26,810
Hahahaha.
I'm the potato plunderer?
322
00:17:26,811 --> 00:17:29,310
Me? Whose allotment
looks like a pile of shit?!
323
00:17:29,311 --> 00:17:31,780
Do you think I could be
bothered to dig up potatoes?
324
00:17:31,781 --> 00:17:33,882
Look at my hands.
Look how clean they are.
325
00:17:33,883 --> 00:17:35,984
You think I could be bothered
to muddy them up to get your
326
00:17:35,985 --> 00:17:39,520
dirty ass potatoes because this
is a little bit of "newsflash",
327
00:17:39,521 --> 00:17:41,690
they're available in
a fucking supermarket,
328
00:17:41,691 --> 00:17:43,658
and they're a pound! But then
you probably didn't know that
329
00:17:43,659 --> 00:17:46,359
did you? You bloody
wanna be English moron.
330
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,528
You watch your
tone, you little twat!
331
00:17:48,529 --> 00:17:50,597
Twat?! Hahahaha.
332
00:17:50,598 --> 00:17:52,466
Twoa! Twat! What
are you gonna do now?
333
00:17:52,467 --> 00:17:54,501
Bludgeon me with
that spade? Give it to me!
334
00:17:54,502 --> 00:17:56,303
'Cause if there's gonna be any
bludgeoning happening today,
335
00:17:56,304 --> 00:17:57,771
I will not be on
the receiving end!
336
00:17:57,772 --> 00:17:58,672
You are mad!
337
00:17:58,673 --> 00:18:01,373
You don't know the
fucking half of it!
338
00:18:01,374 --> 00:18:03,809
Yeah, run!
Run little American boy!
339
00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:06,579
It's pronounced,
"twot" You bloody American!
340
00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:08,447
I'm Canadian!
341
00:18:08,448 --> 00:18:09,950
(STABBING SOUND)
342
00:18:13,019 --> 00:18:16,722
Mr. Parsons? Mr. Parsons?
343
00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:21,426
Mr. Parsons?!
344
00:18:21,427 --> 00:18:24,696
(THRILLING MUSIC)
345
00:18:24,697 --> 00:18:27,332
(REMOVING ADHESIVE SOUND)
346
00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:28,800
Bobbi! Bobbi,
something terrible has happened!
347
00:18:28,801 --> 00:18:29,934
Get out!
348
00:18:29,935 --> 00:18:31,935
What the hell are you doing?
349
00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:33,370
- What are y...
- Go away!
350
00:18:33,371 --> 00:18:36,407
Oh! Oh! Oh! God! Oh!
351
00:18:36,975 --> 00:18:39,408
Well, on that note, I don't
think he'll be coming back!
352
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:42,846
(SLAMMING DOOR SOUND)
Mm mmm. Oooh, that's nice!
353
00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:45,481
For a moment, I
actually felt like Casimir!
354
00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:48,084
I was like moving towards him,
and he was like, stepping back.
355
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:52,387
I could see the
fear in his eyes. It was...
356
00:18:52,388 --> 00:18:56,893
- What?
- What is that, on your shoulder?
357
00:18:56,894 --> 00:19:00,096
Oooh! Oh, God! Christ!
358
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:04,299
Oh, God. Bobbi was giving
Harriet a wax on her lady bits.
359
00:19:04,766 --> 00:19:06,600
- Hand it over!
- What?
360
00:19:06,601 --> 00:19:07,768
- Give it.
- No!
361
00:19:07,769 --> 00:19:09,637
- Yes. Yes!
- No.
362
00:19:09,638 --> 00:19:11,139
No way!
363
00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:12,640
- Come on, now.
- That's sick man.
364
00:19:12,641 --> 00:19:13,774
I'm not doing it.
365
00:19:13,775 --> 00:19:16,778
I'll give you one
sword of Chronos.
366
00:19:18,713 --> 00:19:21,514
Sword of Chronos and an
extra D8 on my combat roles?
367
00:19:21,515 --> 00:19:24,018
Ahhh, D4?
368
00:19:26,053 --> 00:19:27,520
Just don't do
anything disgusting with it.
369
00:19:27,521 --> 00:19:28,522
Ah.
370
00:19:30,024 --> 00:19:32,625
I can smell her Labia.
371
00:19:32,626 --> 00:19:34,761
You are a revolting man!
372
00:19:34,762 --> 00:19:36,094
I know.
373
00:19:36,095 --> 00:19:38,463
So, you were saying?
374
00:19:38,464 --> 00:19:40,799
Right. Yeah, so he
kinda hobbles off, falls over,
375
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,569
and doesn't
bloody get up again.
376
00:19:43,570 --> 00:19:46,573
(OMINOUS MUSIC BUILD UP)
377
00:19:54,046 --> 00:19:56,048
(FLY BUZZING SOUND)
378
00:19:57,448 --> 00:19:59,117
Oh, fuck.
379
00:20:01,586 --> 00:20:03,088
Oh, God.
380
00:20:07,758 --> 00:20:10,593
Bloody hippie leaving his
bloody tools laying around.
381
00:20:10,594 --> 00:20:12,561
So that's the serial killer?
382
00:20:12,562 --> 00:20:14,463
A hippie serial killer, really?
383
00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:15,798
Oh, it's a great cover.
384
00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:18,601
No. Birch is the
hippie. Doc is Th...
385
00:20:18,602 --> 00:20:19,902
Serial killer!
386
00:20:19,903 --> 00:20:20,903
Creepy cowboy guy.
387
00:20:20,904 --> 00:20:22,105
Anyway, you're meant to
tread on the rake and
388
00:20:22,106 --> 00:20:24,706
have it hit you in the face.
You're not meant to fall on it
389
00:20:24,707 --> 00:20:26,541
and have it brain
you. It's just not funny!
390
00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:29,078
Oh. It kinda is.
391
00:20:29,079 --> 00:20:31,446
Well, and convenient!
392
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,148
So, what'd you do next?
393
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,816
I managed to drag
him back to my shed.
394
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,517
Ahh!
395
00:20:36,518 --> 00:20:37,852
(GRUNTING SOUND)
396
00:20:37,853 --> 00:20:39,854
Nearly bloody killed me.
397
00:20:46,661 --> 00:20:47,995
I'm gonna have
to go to the Police.
398
00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:49,796
No way, man!
You'll look guilty as hell.
399
00:20:49,797 --> 00:20:50,731
It was an accident.
400
00:20:50,732 --> 00:20:52,833
Well, so why did
you move the body then?
401
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,134
I don't know.
402
00:20:54,135 --> 00:20:56,502
What if somebody
heard or saw the argument?
403
00:20:56,503 --> 00:20:57,570
I don't know!
404
00:20:57,571 --> 00:20:59,805
Well, you should definitely
dispose of the corpse.
405
00:20:59,806 --> 00:21:02,474
Graham, you really have
no grip on the real world.
406
00:21:02,475 --> 00:21:04,911
Oh, spoken like
a true hypocrite.
407
00:21:04,912 --> 00:21:07,914
Why don't you just bury it
in the serial killer's plot?
408
00:21:07,915 --> 00:21:09,916
Oh, that's at the
other end of the allotment.
409
00:21:09,917 --> 00:21:12,117
Finish me off
dragging his fat ass back there.
410
00:21:12,118 --> 00:21:14,786
Well, bury it in yours then. I
mean if it's as messy as you say
411
00:21:14,787 --> 00:21:16,720
then nobody will ever find it.
412
00:21:16,721 --> 00:21:19,124
Christ! Even the thought
of dragging him another foot
413
00:21:19,125 --> 00:21:21,525
gives me a bloody asthma attack.
414
00:21:21,526 --> 00:21:23,560
Arrffff.
415
00:21:23,561 --> 00:21:26,564
(BATTLE SOUNDS)
416
00:21:34,905 --> 00:21:36,907
(HORSE NEIGH SOUND)
417
00:21:39,843 --> 00:21:42,845
(BATTLE SOUNDS CONTINUE)
418
00:21:49,218 --> 00:21:50,753
Ohh.
419
00:21:57,226 --> 00:21:59,794
I'll think of something.
420
00:21:59,795 --> 00:22:01,929
Maybe.
421
00:22:01,930 --> 00:22:04,933
(MEDIEVAL ROCK MUSIC)
422
00:22:10,272 --> 00:22:13,474
(CAR ALARM SOUNDS)
423
00:22:17,812 --> 00:22:19,980
(PASSING HELICOPTER SOUNDS)
424
00:22:19,981 --> 00:22:21,983
(CAT GROWLING SOUNDS)
425
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:27,888
(POLICE SIRES WAILING)
426
00:22:33,625 --> 00:22:35,893
I think you should
unleash some of that old.
427
00:22:35,894 --> 00:22:38,530
Casimir vengeance on him.
428
00:22:40,966 --> 00:22:43,969
(DRAMATIC
MEDIEVAL MUSIC)
429
00:22:47,772 --> 00:22:50,040
Some imagination you've got?!
430
00:22:50,041 --> 00:22:51,641
It's my fantasy.
431
00:22:51,642 --> 00:22:54,644
Ha! You could've given
me some armor or something.
432
00:22:54,645 --> 00:22:56,646
And I mean, what the
hell's that supposed to be?
433
00:22:56,647 --> 00:22:58,648
Like I said, it's my fantasy.
434
00:22:58,649 --> 00:23:00,151
Really?
435
00:23:03,887 --> 00:23:06,822
Suck on that, Potter!
436
00:23:06,823 --> 00:23:10,059
You can have her
Sir Brandt. Make the most of it.
437
00:23:10,060 --> 00:23:13,729
For she will soon be as dead as
the vile creatures she commands.
438
00:23:13,730 --> 00:23:18,633
Oh yeah? We'll see about that.
439
00:23:18,634 --> 00:23:21,636
(INTENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP)
440
00:23:30,079 --> 00:23:33,082
(MUSIC TEMPO PICKS UP)
441
00:23:39,020 --> 00:23:43,024
Ha-ha! You cannot
defeat us both Wizard!
442
00:23:44,159 --> 00:23:45,225
Yield!
443
00:23:45,226 --> 00:23:48,661
The cold lure of this
grave-robbing vixen was enough
444
00:23:48,662 --> 00:23:51,297
to turn you
from faith, eh, Palladin?
445
00:23:51,298 --> 00:23:56,001
Ha. Do not mock my
new faith, Bumblebore!
446
00:23:56,002 --> 00:23:58,937
And you know nothing of the
heat that heat that lies between
447
00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:03,409
that Vixen's legs. But you will
feel the sting of her blade,
448
00:24:03,410 --> 00:24:07,144
When she cuts your
legs from beneath you.
449
00:24:07,145 --> 00:24:10,148
(EPIC MUSIC CONTINUES)
450
00:24:14,986 --> 00:24:18,122
PETER: Sorry!
I thought you were one of them.
451
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:21,827
Don't waste any time. Find
your sanctuary. Go to ground!
452
00:24:25,729 --> 00:24:26,996
What?
453
00:24:26,997 --> 00:24:30,000
It's the big one!
I must document everything!
454
00:24:35,172 --> 00:24:38,175
(EPIC MUSIC BUILD UP)
455
00:24:47,951 --> 00:24:50,652
(GROWLING SOUND)
456
00:24:55,424 --> 00:24:58,626
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
457
00:25:09,203 --> 00:25:11,871
(CHOPPING SOUND)
458
00:25:11,872 --> 00:25:14,840
(CONTINUOUS CHOPPING SOUNDS)
459
00:25:14,841 --> 00:25:16,843
(SITAR FADES IN)
460
00:25:28,787 --> 00:25:31,222
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
461
00:25:31,223 --> 00:25:33,225
(GROWLING SOUNDS)
462
00:25:36,128 --> 00:25:39,131
(PASSING SCREAM SOUNDS)
463
00:25:43,101 --> 00:25:45,103
(WHEEZING SOUNDS)
464
00:25:45,436 --> 00:25:49,107
(RADIO PLAYING IN BACKGROUND)
(FLY BUZZING SOUNDS)
465
00:26:00,883 --> 00:26:03,919
(ALARMS WAILING)
466
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,355
(GUNSHOT SOUNDS)
467
00:26:06,356 --> 00:26:08,358
(EXPLOSION SOUNDS)
468
00:26:20,436 --> 00:26:23,837
RADIO JACK: There remains a multitude
of unanswered questions first and
469
00:26:23,838 --> 00:26:27,274
forth most regarding the cause
of this horrible turn of events.
470
00:26:27,275 --> 00:26:29,176
I can't believe, but
when it comes down to it,
471
00:26:29,177 --> 00:26:32,111
the only fact that matters is
the one we can no longer ignore.
472
00:26:32,112 --> 00:26:35,481
And that is, that it seems, and
I still find it hard to put into
473
00:26:35,482 --> 00:26:38,218
words, despite having
seen evidence first hand.
474
00:26:38,219 --> 00:26:43,022
We're genuinely in the midst
of an actual zombie apocalypse.
475
00:26:43,023 --> 00:26:46,259
Now joining me in discussion
for these "end of days"
476
00:26:46,260 --> 00:26:48,460
is Kevin Bartlett. Now
Kevin, hello and welco...
477
00:26:48,461 --> 00:26:51,063
KEVIN: Yeah, yeah, hi John.
What I'd like to say I'm happy to be here.
478
00:26:51,064 --> 00:26:54,499
RADIO JACK: Er quite! So,
er what's your take on this whole debacle?
479
00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:57,302
KEVIN: Well, first of all,
I could've predicted this would happen.
480
00:26:57,303 --> 00:27:00,205
I-I did it, I know, I know
but I-I look. I mean look,
481
00:27:00,206 --> 00:27:02,839
We've been obsessed forever,
with bloody zombie this and
482
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,476
zombie that. Do you know how
many zombie films are churned
483
00:27:05,477 --> 00:27:06,810
- out each year.
- Quite a few I'm sure.
484
00:27:06,811 --> 00:27:10,414
KEVIN: Er yep, m-my theory,
and you mentioned earlier about not
485
00:27:10,415 --> 00:27:13,584
knowing the "how" of all this.
Well, I'll tell you exactly how
486
00:27:13,585 --> 00:27:17,255
this has all fucking happened.
Sorry, can I swear John? Well
487
00:27:17,256 --> 00:27:20,055
it doesn't matter now does it?
It's simple, and testament to
488
00:27:20,056 --> 00:27:23,225
the towering power of the media
and the public conscience.
489
00:27:23,226 --> 00:27:25,928
We've spent so long fawning over
these shuffling bags of bones,
490
00:27:25,929 --> 00:27:30,400
reveling in film after film, TV
shows, books, video games, and
491
00:27:30,401 --> 00:27:33,936
hoaxes, people have been
genuinely waiting for this day.
492
00:27:33,937 --> 00:27:37,338
And why? Because with this kind
of PR it would be rude to have
493
00:27:37,339 --> 00:27:39,374
a fucking zombie apocalypse.
494
00:27:39,375 --> 00:27:43,379
- Er Kevin, can I stop you there.
- Yeah, what?-what's going on bud?
495
00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:50,084
RADIO JACK: I think. I thi...
(INDISCERNIBLE SCREAMS)
496
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:51,786
KEVIN: No, no!
497
00:27:57,425 --> 00:27:59,059
KEVIN: Let's get to the roof!
498
00:27:59,060 --> 00:28:00,227
KEVIN: Well, to the helicopter!
499
00:28:00,228 --> 00:28:02,463
RADIO JACK: Fucking helicopter? What?
500
00:28:06,234 --> 00:28:09,236
(INDISCERNIBLE SCREAMS)
501
00:28:15,941 --> 00:28:18,944
(SMOOTH JAZZ)
502
00:28:28,554 --> 00:28:30,256
Ohh!
503
00:28:38,596 --> 00:28:40,598
(OMINOUS TONE)
504
00:28:55,378 --> 00:28:56,545
It's alright for you.
505
00:28:56,546 --> 00:28:59,648
You don't have to hack up
and bury the people you kill!
506
00:28:59,649 --> 00:29:02,885
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BURNING FLAMES SOUND)
507
00:29:09,325 --> 00:29:11,193
Casmir the Cremator.
508
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,862
That's got a
bit of a ring to it!
509
00:29:17,666 --> 00:29:19,534
Right, back to work.
510
00:29:26,574 --> 00:29:28,608
Ooh, oh!
511
00:29:28,609 --> 00:29:31,277
Ohh. Ugh.
512
00:29:31,278 --> 00:29:35,047
(FLY BUZZING SOUND)
513
00:29:35,048 --> 00:29:37,116
Alight Mr. Parsons.
514
00:29:37,117 --> 00:29:39,620
Let's not keep
your legs waiting!
515
00:29:42,188 --> 00:29:44,356
Unfortunately you're going to be
spending the rest of eternity in
516
00:29:44,357 --> 00:29:47,024
my disgrace of a plot.
517
00:29:47,025 --> 00:29:49,561
I'll try and tidy up for you.
518
00:29:49,562 --> 00:29:53,097
God, I'll be glad to
see the back of you.
519
00:29:53,098 --> 00:29:54,099
Ugh.
520
00:29:56,703 --> 00:29:59,904
God! You are one ugly bastard!
521
00:30:01,339 --> 00:30:04,041
Ahh! What the fuck?!
522
00:30:06,277 --> 00:30:08,279
Ahh! Ahh! Oh, God!
523
00:30:12,683 --> 00:30:15,384
Get off my crotch! Ahh!
524
00:30:15,385 --> 00:30:18,188
Ahh! Ahhh!
525
00:30:19,556 --> 00:30:21,558
Bloody open you.
526
00:30:23,427 --> 00:30:26,695
Ahh! Aahhh!
527
00:30:26,696 --> 00:30:31,031
Ugh! Help! Heeeelp!
528
00:30:31,032 --> 00:30:34,102
I've got half a Gardner
in here! He's trying to kill me!
529
00:30:34,103 --> 00:30:36,605
Help me! Heeeelp!
530
00:30:41,710 --> 00:30:45,112
Please, help! He's got
my legs, he's got my legs!
531
00:30:45,113 --> 00:30:47,113
He's got, ohh god he's got!
532
00:30:47,114 --> 00:30:50,117
You fucking door! Ahhh!!!
533
00:30:52,454 --> 00:30:56,557
Pleeease! Ahh! Ahhhhh!
534
00:30:56,558 --> 00:30:59,125
Oh, God! Oh, God!
535
00:30:59,126 --> 00:31:01,128
(DRONING SOUND)
536
00:31:05,465 --> 00:31:10,402
Oh, God! Ahh! Ahh!
Ahhh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh, God!
537
00:31:10,403 --> 00:31:12,304
Ahh, God!
538
00:31:12,305 --> 00:31:15,308
(FRANTIC STRING
INSTRUMENTS BUILD UP)
539
00:31:24,483 --> 00:31:27,486
(FRANTIC MUSIC FADES OUT)
540
00:31:31,656 --> 00:31:33,658
Ohh! Ohh!
541
00:31:37,495 --> 00:31:42,499
- You!
- Ahh. Ahhhh. Aghhhhh!
542
00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:44,167
The only thing is, you
were actually more annoying
543
00:31:44,168 --> 00:31:45,668
when you were alive.
544
00:31:45,669 --> 00:31:48,638
(HELICOPTER FLYING SOUNDS)
545
00:31:48,639 --> 00:31:50,640
Help! Help!
546
00:31:54,744 --> 00:31:57,579
TREVOR: Heeeeelp! Agh!
547
00:31:57,580 --> 00:32:00,348
Aghh! Heeeeelp!
548
00:32:00,349 --> 00:32:02,818
(PEACEFUL SITAR)
549
00:32:02,819 --> 00:32:06,021
(GROWLING SOUNDS)
550
00:32:09,591 --> 00:32:13,193
BIRCH: I know a cry for
help when I hear one.
551
00:32:13,194 --> 00:32:15,196
Come on, Birchy boy!
552
00:32:18,366 --> 00:32:22,168
Ahh! Ahhh! Aaaaahhh!
553
00:32:28,408 --> 00:32:31,210
Four bars,
half battery! Booyahhhhh!
554
00:32:31,211 --> 00:32:33,412
Right, Bobbi.
555
00:32:33,413 --> 00:32:34,414
Right.
556
00:32:36,716 --> 00:32:38,783
Come on, Bobbi.
Come on. Answer, answer.
557
00:32:38,784 --> 00:32:40,552
Answer the phone.
558
00:32:40,553 --> 00:32:43,555
(EROTIC MUSIC)
559
00:32:43,556 --> 00:32:46,559
(MOANING SOUNDS)
560
00:32:51,230 --> 00:32:53,632
There's more of
them. They've got her.
561
00:32:55,199 --> 00:32:57,199
PARSONS: Aghhaaahh!
562
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,704
(CHOKING SOUNDS)
563
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,343
I have to make another
call. Don't you ever get tired?
564
00:33:08,580 --> 00:33:10,580
Shhh!
565
00:33:10,581 --> 00:33:13,482
(PHONE RINGING)
566
00:33:13,483 --> 00:33:17,352
OPERATOR: Thank you for calling 999,
the UK's leading emergency service.
567
00:33:17,353 --> 00:33:19,722
Your call is currently in a
queue and will be dealt with
568
00:33:19,723 --> 00:33:22,826
as soon as one of our
operators becomes available.
569
00:33:23,593 --> 00:33:26,160
For God's sake!
570
00:33:26,161 --> 00:33:29,164
(EASY LISTENING MUSIC)
571
00:33:39,274 --> 00:33:42,475
OPERATOR: Your call is important to us.
Thank you for your patience.
572
00:33:42,476 --> 00:33:44,277
- Please continue to ho...
- For God's sake!
573
00:33:44,278 --> 00:33:46,412
(INDISCERNIBLE CHATTER)
574
00:33:46,413 --> 00:33:49,416
(EASY LISTENING MUSIC CONTINUES)
575
00:33:55,756 --> 00:33:58,457
Oh, you like that do you? Ohhh!
576
00:33:58,458 --> 00:34:00,460
(CROW CAWING SOUND)
577
00:34:05,565 --> 00:34:08,767
Who'll be at home, who'll
be at home, who'll be at home?
578
00:34:08,768 --> 00:34:11,838
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Graham.
579
00:34:13,305 --> 00:34:15,840
Oooh, Mistress Morana!
580
00:34:15,841 --> 00:34:19,977
Oh! Oh, mistress!
581
00:34:19,978 --> 00:34:21,979
Oh! Ughh.
582
00:34:21,980 --> 00:34:25,182
(RINGTONE AND VIBRATING SOUND)
583
00:34:25,884 --> 00:34:29,319
Jesus, T! You scared
the crap out of me!
584
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,387
GRAHAM: Good thing I'm on the crapper.
585
00:34:31,388 --> 00:34:34,758
God, that is a disgusting image!
Look, look, I need your help.
586
00:34:34,759 --> 00:34:35,859
Kinda busy.
587
00:34:35,860 --> 00:34:37,693
Doing what?
588
00:34:37,694 --> 00:34:40,964
Umm, polishing my sword.
589
00:34:40,965 --> 00:34:43,632
Look, even though you've got a
sword, I know that means your
590
00:34:43,633 --> 00:34:46,234
penis! Can you just put it away
in your pants and fucking come
591
00:34:46,235 --> 00:34:49,238
and help me?
We've got a situation.
592
00:34:52,741 --> 00:34:54,342
What's that noise?
593
00:34:54,343 --> 00:34:59,247
That's the
situation. Mr. Parsons is now
594
00:34:59,248 --> 00:35:01,282
zombie Parsons!
595
00:35:01,283 --> 00:35:02,949
GRAHAM: Hahaha! Shut up.
596
00:35:02,950 --> 00:35:05,619
I'm serious Graham!
Look, I only called Bobbi.
597
00:35:05,620 --> 00:35:08,255
I think they already got her.
598
00:35:08,256 --> 00:35:12,025
Wait a minute. Am I on bloody
speaker phone? And who's they?
599
00:35:12,026 --> 00:35:15,730
Do you b...?
The bloody zombies that's who!
600
00:35:19,933 --> 00:35:21,901
I'm not the first
person you called?
601
00:35:21,902 --> 00:35:24,704
You're not the second either.
I've got bloody 999 on hold as
602
00:35:24,705 --> 00:35:25,705
we speak.
603
00:35:25,706 --> 00:35:28,574
Ha, you put 999 on hold?
604
00:35:28,575 --> 00:35:30,976
Well they put me on hold first!
605
00:35:30,977 --> 00:35:32,845
Yeah, I hate it
when they do that.
606
00:35:32,846 --> 00:35:35,379
It's bloody ridiculous. Anyway
look, I'm trapped in the shed
607
00:35:35,380 --> 00:35:37,414
somehow. I can't get out. And I
need you to come down here...
608
00:35:37,415 --> 00:35:39,516
Well, I can't.
609
00:35:39,517 --> 00:35:41,452
What? Something more pressing?
610
00:35:41,453 --> 00:35:44,388
Look, ughh. Just twat
the thing over the head and
611
00:35:44,389 --> 00:35:47,624
bash your way out. I mean, it's
a shed. I'm sure you'll manage.
612
00:35:47,625 --> 00:35:49,560
Are you, are you kidding me?
613
00:35:49,561 --> 00:35:52,462
Look, I've got to go. I'll
see you tonight, alright?
614
00:35:52,463 --> 00:35:53,997
No.
615
00:35:53,998 --> 00:35:56,566
No! No.
616
00:35:56,567 --> 00:35:59,269
No! Ahhh!
617
00:35:59,870 --> 00:36:03,506
Fuuuuuck! Fuck! Idiot!
618
00:36:03,507 --> 00:36:05,641
Ahhhhhh!
619
00:36:05,642 --> 00:36:08,510
Ohhh.
620
00:36:08,511 --> 00:36:11,881
Ohhhhh, yessss!
621
00:36:12,315 --> 00:36:15,550
OPERATOR: Is this call a
genuine emergency? If so...
622
00:36:15,551 --> 00:36:18,554
(FRANTIC ORCHESTRA)
623
00:36:20,590 --> 00:36:23,592
(INDISCERNIBLE PHONE CHATTER)
624
00:36:31,066 --> 00:36:34,268
Ahh! Ahh! Ahhhh! Ahhh! Ahh!
625
00:36:42,943 --> 00:36:45,779
My shoe! My shoe!
626
00:36:45,780 --> 00:36:48,047
Ugh! Ahh!
627
00:36:48,048 --> 00:36:49,716
That's my bloody shoe!
628
00:36:49,717 --> 00:36:52,618
Give me my shoe!
Give me my bloody shoes!
629
00:36:52,619 --> 00:36:55,354
That was my last pair of Nike's!
630
00:36:55,554 --> 00:36:57,388
OPERATOR: Please continue to hold.
631
00:36:57,389 --> 00:36:59,423
One of our operators
will be with you shortly.
632
00:36:59,424 --> 00:37:00,993
Now, a word from our sponsors.
633
00:37:00,994 --> 00:37:05,063
SPONSOR: Are you suffering
from stabbing pain, headaches?
634
00:37:05,064 --> 00:37:08,766
The kind of stubborn pain
that sits right behind your eyes
635
00:37:08,767 --> 00:37:10,767
and won't go aw...
636
00:37:10,768 --> 00:37:12,470
Ahhh!
637
00:37:15,473 --> 00:37:19,510
No! No, no! Nooo! Not
now! Not now! Nooo! Nooo!
638
00:37:27,717 --> 00:37:32,121
(ORCHESTRA FADES OUT)
639
00:37:32,122 --> 00:37:35,292
(UPLIFTING MUSIC)
640
00:37:38,895 --> 00:37:40,863
Ahh! Ahhh!
641
00:37:40,864 --> 00:37:43,866
(UPLIFTING ORCHESTRA)
642
00:37:50,973 --> 00:37:53,875
Hahahaha. Hahaha. Ahh.
643
00:37:53,876 --> 00:37:56,879
(ORCHESTRA FADES OUT)
644
00:38:01,582 --> 00:38:03,584
(GARGLING SOUNDS)
645
00:38:07,521 --> 00:38:09,822
Oh, you wanna
get that roof fixed!
646
00:38:09,823 --> 00:38:10,824
You mind?
647
00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:17,496
(SCREAMS)
(STABBING SOUNDS)
648
00:38:23,069 --> 00:38:26,072
(STABBING SOUNDS CONTINUE)
649
00:38:29,709 --> 00:38:32,577
By the way, I did
take your potatoes.
650
00:38:35,046 --> 00:38:37,181
Sorry mate, I seriously
thought you were joking earlier!
651
00:38:37,182 --> 00:38:39,516
It's fine.
652
00:38:39,517 --> 00:38:41,685
What, so you wore a helmet,
but you didn't bring a sword?
653
00:38:41,686 --> 00:38:43,854
Yeah, look, it's one thing
walking around town wearing
654
00:38:43,855 --> 00:38:45,922
this, which, by the way,
is a very clever move,
655
00:38:45,923 --> 00:38:48,791
but I can't be dragging
a sword around town.
656
00:38:48,792 --> 00:38:50,593
It's bloody heavy for starters.
657
00:38:50,594 --> 00:38:53,196
Well, at least you
got over your agoraphobia.
658
00:38:53,197 --> 00:38:55,530
Yeah, yeah alright,
I'm not agoraphobic. Fine.
659
00:38:55,531 --> 00:38:56,766
Surprise.
660
00:38:56,767 --> 00:39:00,103
Look, at least I came, yeah?
It's bloody dangerous out here!
661
00:39:00,104 --> 00:39:02,004
I saw two women
eating another woman.
662
00:39:02,005 --> 00:39:03,839
What, did you
watch it on your phone?
663
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,208
Not like that!
And I saw some hippie
664
00:39:06,209 --> 00:39:08,676
chewing some blokes arm off!
665
00:39:08,677 --> 00:39:10,679
Oh, bloody vegans!
666
00:39:12,781 --> 00:39:14,615
I think we should
head to the coast.
667
00:39:14,616 --> 00:39:16,550
- What?
- Well, there might be boats.
668
00:39:16,551 --> 00:39:18,685
- That's a stupid fucking idea!
- No, it's not.
669
00:39:18,686 --> 00:39:20,820
Yes it is. Where's Bobbi?
670
00:39:20,821 --> 00:39:23,090
- I dunno. I think they got her.
- You think?
671
00:39:23,091 --> 00:39:24,225
Can't be sure.
672
00:39:24,226 --> 00:39:25,927
Harriet's with Bobbi.
673
00:39:27,862 --> 00:39:30,797
We need to save our women!
674
00:39:30,798 --> 00:39:33,732
We really, we, we really don't.
675
00:39:33,733 --> 00:39:35,935
I cou...
676
00:39:35,936 --> 00:39:39,104
So my thinking is, you
know what choice does she have?
677
00:39:39,105 --> 00:39:42,508
Suicide? Becoming a sex
slave for a heavily armed gang?
678
00:39:42,509 --> 00:39:44,610
Donating her
brain to the hungry?
679
00:39:44,611 --> 00:39:45,844
Well none of
that's likely to happen.
680
00:39:45,845 --> 00:39:48,147
I think it's more likely than
her shacking up with you in some
681
00:39:48,148 --> 00:39:50,615
post-apocalyptic wasteland.
682
00:39:50,616 --> 00:39:53,217
Hahahaha. You wait.
683
00:39:53,218 --> 00:39:56,187
Chicks dig a
knight in shining armor!
684
00:39:56,188 --> 00:39:57,989
What the hell?
685
00:39:57,990 --> 00:40:02,727
God! I think
it's Peter? Well, part of him.
686
00:40:02,728 --> 00:40:04,796
What, you can
tell just from his arm?
687
00:40:04,797 --> 00:40:06,196
No.
688
00:40:06,197 --> 00:40:07,732
The camera.
689
00:40:12,236 --> 00:40:16,572
PETER: My name is Peter Jones.
I'm a-well, I'm doing my masters in
690
00:40:16,573 --> 00:40:20,577
agriculture, but that's doesn't
matter right now. Start again.
691
00:40:22,212 --> 00:40:26,815
My name is Peter Jones,
and I'm a concerned citizen.
692
00:40:26,816 --> 00:40:29,784
If you're watching this these
could be the very last recorded
693
00:40:29,785 --> 00:40:33,155
thoughts of mankind. It's
not too late for you though.
694
00:40:33,156 --> 00:40:37,193
You can escape. These
things are slow and cumbersome.
695
00:40:37,194 --> 00:40:41,595
Ahh! Ahh-ahh! Ahhhh! Ahhh!
696
00:40:41,596 --> 00:40:46,066
Ah-ahhaha!
Ahh-ha! Oohoohoo! Ahhh!
697
00:40:46,067 --> 00:40:48,602
Ahhh! Oh, God!
698
00:40:48,603 --> 00:40:51,805
Oh, Jesus! Oh, Christ!
699
00:40:51,806 --> 00:40:56,609
Ahh-haha! Aaaah! Ah-ha!
700
00:40:56,610 --> 00:40:59,613
(EATING SOUNDS)
701
00:41:04,251 --> 00:41:05,918
Documenting the
zombie apocalypse?
702
00:41:05,919 --> 00:41:07,053
Who the hell's gonna
watch it?
703
00:41:07,054 --> 00:41:08,922
Us apparently!
704
00:41:10,223 --> 00:41:12,958
Oh, Christ! And now
they're best buddies. Great.
705
00:41:12,959 --> 00:41:14,793
Well, if you cant
eat 'em, join 'em.
706
00:41:14,794 --> 00:41:16,895
Right, I'll take
Peter, you take Ted!
707
00:41:16,896 --> 00:41:17,863
What about her?
708
00:41:17,864 --> 00:41:20,332
She's got a dodgy
leg. She'll be a while.
709
00:41:20,333 --> 00:41:23,068
Come on, you!
710
00:41:23,069 --> 00:41:25,071
Come ooon, youuu!
711
00:41:27,605 --> 00:41:29,739
Ahh! Take that you idiot!
712
00:41:29,740 --> 00:41:32,742
Ah! Yes! Ugh! Ug! h.
713
00:41:32,743 --> 00:41:35,845
- Do they die this way?
- I'm not sure!
714
00:41:35,846 --> 00:41:39,850
- Take that! Take that!
- Ugh! Ugh!
715
00:41:40,751 --> 00:41:43,254
- Ahh!
- Oh, God. No!
716
00:41:49,759 --> 00:41:53,095
(INTENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP)
717
00:41:53,096 --> 00:41:57,100
No, Doc. No, no,
It's, it's me. Ahh!
718
00:41:58,100 --> 00:42:01,302
(MUSICAL BUILD UP FADES)
719
00:42:01,303 --> 00:42:03,738
Thank you?
720
00:42:03,739 --> 00:42:04,906
Yeah, thanks Doc.
721
00:42:04,907 --> 00:42:06,608
DOC: Don't mention it.
722
00:42:09,645 --> 00:42:11,979
You look like you've been busy.
723
00:42:11,980 --> 00:42:14,414
It's like fucking Christmas.
724
00:42:14,415 --> 00:42:17,184
I've got a more
traditional approach to
725
00:42:17,185 --> 00:42:19,187
Christmas myself but,
726
00:42:21,255 --> 00:42:24,891
You know I don't know why you're
looking so shocked Trevor.
727
00:42:24,892 --> 00:42:29,196
I saw what you did
to Parsons. Very impressive.
728
00:42:29,197 --> 00:42:30,728
Thank you.
729
00:42:30,729 --> 00:42:33,233
So, ugh, what's in the bag?
730
00:42:34,401 --> 00:42:37,770
- You don't want to know.
- Huh, I do. Hm.
731
00:42:40,173 --> 00:42:41,773
Oh!
732
00:42:41,774 --> 00:42:44,243
- Oh, heads!
- Heads?
733
00:42:44,244 --> 00:42:46,945
Yeah! Hahaha.
734
00:42:49,814 --> 00:42:52,383
What's in the other bag?
735
00:42:52,384 --> 00:42:54,219
You really don't want to know.
736
00:42:54,220 --> 00:42:56,222
Hm. Pretty open-minded.
737
00:43:03,428 --> 00:43:06,630
Oh! Fu... ohh!
738
00:43:07,731 --> 00:43:08,998
GRAHAM: Ohh!
739
00:43:08,999 --> 00:43:13,369
Lady parts. You know, If you
soak 'em in vinegar long enough,
740
00:43:13,370 --> 00:43:17,406
Just like calamari.
741
00:43:17,407 --> 00:43:20,175
We have to go!
742
00:43:20,176 --> 00:43:21,977
Ah, I've got to
go and see my wife.
743
00:43:21,978 --> 00:43:24,012
Yeah, and Harriet.
744
00:43:24,013 --> 00:43:26,314
Well, hasta la vista guys.
745
00:43:26,315 --> 00:43:27,849
Maybe see you around?
746
00:43:27,850 --> 00:43:29,718
Yeah, better hope not.
747
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,154
Especially if
you're one of them.
748
00:43:32,155 --> 00:43:34,288
You know they're not human.
749
00:43:34,289 --> 00:43:38,826
Best thing to do is, you see
'em, kill 'em. Simple right?
750
00:43:38,827 --> 00:43:41,929
Noted. Thank you
very much. Very useful.
751
00:43:41,930 --> 00:43:43,364
I would hope you'd
do the same for me.
752
00:43:43,365 --> 00:43:45,865
- Yeah.
- You see me shuffling around,
753
00:43:45,866 --> 00:43:49,371
kill me. 'Cause I don't
wanna be one of the living dead.
754
00:43:52,206 --> 00:43:55,774
I wanna be one
of the dead, dead.
755
00:43:55,775 --> 00:43:57,777
Dead, dead. Got it.
756
00:44:02,015 --> 00:44:06,351
Well, don't worry.
I'll clean up your mess.
757
00:44:06,352 --> 00:44:07,885
Alright.
758
00:44:07,886 --> 00:44:09,354
Okay, thank you.
759
00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:12,256
I told you he
was a serial killer!
760
00:44:12,257 --> 00:44:15,093
Ahhaaahh!
761
00:44:19,465 --> 00:44:21,265
That's something
you don't see everyday.
762
00:44:21,266 --> 00:44:23,133
Yeah.
763
00:44:23,134 --> 00:44:25,168
This is your street isn't it?
764
00:44:25,169 --> 00:44:30,073
Yeah, alright, keep up with me.
Keep your eyes open. Let's go!
765
00:44:30,074 --> 00:44:32,475
Bollocks!
766
00:44:32,476 --> 00:44:36,180
(INTENSE ORCHESTRA BUILD UP)
767
00:44:49,926 --> 00:44:51,428
Oh!
768
00:44:54,096 --> 00:44:57,099
(SERENE MUSIC)
769
00:45:01,070 --> 00:45:04,037
OPHELIA: Lie still, Sir Casimir!
770
00:45:04,038 --> 00:45:07,008
You are wounded.
But you will live.
771
00:45:08,076 --> 00:45:10,077
I'll make sure of it.
772
00:45:15,182 --> 00:45:18,452
So beautiful. Who are you?
773
00:45:18,453 --> 00:45:22,121
My name is Ophelia.
And these are my sisters,
774
00:45:22,122 --> 00:45:24,124
Iphelea and Upheleme.
775
00:45:29,563 --> 00:45:34,233
We are honored to tend to
someone so brave as you.
776
00:45:35,835 --> 00:45:39,437
We are humbled
by your presence.
777
00:45:39,438 --> 00:45:44,309
Yet, I would still
beg for one small favor.
778
00:45:45,977 --> 00:45:46,978
Anything.
779
00:45:49,948 --> 00:45:52,616
A kiss
780
00:45:52,617 --> 00:45:55,919
from your brave lips.
781
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,922
Should you
have the strength, sire?
782
00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:00,424
Hmm.
783
00:46:03,594 --> 00:46:06,796
(GENTLE STRING QUARTET)
784
00:46:20,008 --> 00:46:23,210
My sisters would
ask the same favor.
785
00:46:23,211 --> 00:46:25,914
Should you have the strength?
786
00:46:30,951 --> 00:46:32,987
Think so.
787
00:46:35,657 --> 00:46:37,190
- Oh!
- Hahaha.
788
00:46:37,191 --> 00:46:38,358
Welcome back, T!
789
00:46:38,359 --> 00:46:41,662
Oh, Thanks.
790
00:46:41,663 --> 00:46:43,897
How long was I out?
791
00:46:43,898 --> 00:46:45,632
Oh, a couple of days.
792
00:46:45,633 --> 00:46:48,167
Oh, Christ!
What's it like out there?
793
00:46:48,168 --> 00:46:51,003
Hahaha. Just kidding!
794
00:46:51,004 --> 00:46:53,038
Before you start on me,
795
00:46:53,039 --> 00:46:56,108
you look like a bloody zombie
because you're covered in blood.
796
00:46:56,109 --> 00:46:59,345
If you'd come to the
front door. Oh, no sorry, wait.
797
00:46:59,346 --> 00:47:02,213
I suppose you lost your
keys as well as your inhaler.
798
00:47:02,214 --> 00:47:05,283
Do you know what Trevor? You
are so rubbish when it comes to
799
00:47:05,284 --> 00:47:08,353
crisis like this,
you really fucking are.
800
00:47:08,354 --> 00:47:11,456
Oh, come on Bobbi, he's
just woken up, give him a break.
801
00:47:11,457 --> 00:47:14,460
No, because he's a
lazy bastard, Harriet!
802
00:47:15,627 --> 00:47:17,661
Why's she wearing my shirt?
803
00:47:17,662 --> 00:47:20,864
I think that's
obvious. Hmhmmhmm.
804
00:47:21,932 --> 00:47:25,435
Well, faced with the
imminent prospect of death
805
00:47:25,436 --> 00:47:30,273
they, uh, finally gave
into their sapphic whims.
806
00:47:30,274 --> 00:47:32,074
TREVOR: What?
807
00:47:32,075 --> 00:47:34,076
I think they had sex!
808
00:47:37,447 --> 00:47:39,449
Now, that I'd like to see.
809
00:47:44,253 --> 00:47:46,188
Well, half of it anyway. Haha.
810
00:47:47,591 --> 00:47:49,724
Hey, don't stretch
that. That's my favorite.
811
00:47:49,725 --> 00:47:52,427
It was until you
"tittied" it up!
812
00:47:55,130 --> 00:47:59,032
Oh, Christ!
Oh, I need to take a shower.
813
00:47:59,033 --> 00:48:01,736
There's more pressing
things than you washing Trevor.
814
00:48:01,737 --> 00:48:04,705
Are there Bobbi? Are there
really? 'Cause let me tell you
815
00:48:04,706 --> 00:48:07,440
something. While you've been in
here munching on your friend,
816
00:48:07,441 --> 00:48:10,343
the world out there
has gone to absolute shit!
817
00:48:10,344 --> 00:48:13,012
So before this
apocalypse really kicks in,
818
00:48:13,013 --> 00:48:15,248
I'd like one last shot
at some hot water, okay?
819
00:48:15,249 --> 00:48:17,750
So my suggestion to you
is, shut your fucking mouth,
820
00:48:17,751 --> 00:48:20,153
and put the
immersion on! 'Cause right now,
821
00:48:20,154 --> 00:48:22,621
I really wanna wash
these fucking brains off me.
822
00:48:22,622 --> 00:48:24,756
I don't think there's
any need to swear at me.
823
00:48:24,757 --> 00:48:27,559
Yes, there is actually!
There's every fucking need!
824
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:29,327
And may I point
out that thus far,
825
00:48:29,328 --> 00:48:31,996
the only injury I've received
is from my fuckwit of a wife
826
00:48:31,997 --> 00:48:34,699
and not from a fucking zombie!
827
00:48:34,700 --> 00:48:39,670
- Trevor?
- Apology fucking accepted!
828
00:48:39,671 --> 00:48:43,006
Right, I'm now going
upstairs to take a shower.
829
00:48:43,007 --> 00:48:45,074
Stay away from the
doors and windows, alright?
830
00:48:45,075 --> 00:48:47,478
Just keep quiet,
everything will be fine,
831
00:48:47,479 --> 00:48:50,582
we'll sort everything
else out when I get back.
832
00:48:57,420 --> 00:48:59,422
Well, that was awkward. Err?
833
00:49:02,592 --> 00:49:05,595
(SOMBER ORCHESTRATION)
834
00:49:44,364 --> 00:49:47,065
So, you "Bi" then?
835
00:49:47,066 --> 00:49:48,834
Who said that?
836
00:49:48,835 --> 00:49:51,036
Well, you know, you and Bobbi?
837
00:49:52,806 --> 00:49:55,474
Maybe I'm a lesbian.
838
00:49:55,475 --> 00:49:57,742
Maybe? What, you don't know?
839
00:49:57,743 --> 00:50:00,678
No darling, you don't know.
840
00:50:00,679 --> 00:50:05,683
Nah, I don't buy it.
All that stuff at the salon.
841
00:50:05,684 --> 00:50:08,687
We all want a
happy ending Graham.
842
00:50:11,790 --> 00:50:14,524
Well,
843
00:50:14,525 --> 00:50:17,661
I guess we're never
going to get one now.
844
00:50:20,197 --> 00:50:21,198
Trevor?
845
00:50:23,835 --> 00:50:25,002
- What?
- Oh, for God's sake,
846
00:50:25,003 --> 00:50:28,704
I've seen that pathetic
excuse for a penis enough times.
847
00:50:28,705 --> 00:50:32,140
Well your vagina s.
Rubbish. What do you want?
848
00:50:32,141 --> 00:50:34,643
Oh, for God's. Is that
any way to talk to your wife?
849
00:50:34,644 --> 00:50:38,380
Eh? Anyway, look,
I just wanted to say 'sorry'.
850
00:50:38,381 --> 00:50:40,649
You know, about,
about the old Harriet thing.
851
00:50:40,650 --> 00:50:42,684
And I know
you're pissed off.
852
00:50:42,685 --> 00:50:45,886
- I'm really not.
- But, if it's any consolation,
853
00:50:45,887 --> 00:50:48,589
it's 'cause she
wanted a threesome with us.
854
00:50:48,590 --> 00:50:49,423
She what?
855
00:50:49,424 --> 00:50:53,494
Ah. See,
I thought you'd like that.
856
00:50:53,495 --> 00:50:56,498
(INDISTINCT MUMBLING)
Just.
857
00:51:17,750 --> 00:51:20,819
How is he?
858
00:51:20,820 --> 00:51:21,821
Ugh.
859
00:51:23,221 --> 00:51:27,225
Ugh. Morana! Morana! Oh, God!
860
00:51:28,660 --> 00:51:32,797
Oh, yeah.
Morana. Oh, Morana.
861
00:51:32,798 --> 00:51:36,800
- Ohhhhh!
- Oh, Casimir!
862
00:51:36,801 --> 00:51:39,669
You're so HUGE!
863
00:51:39,670 --> 00:51:42,439
Much bigger than Sir Brandt.
864
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,941
Oh, yes! Fill me!
865
00:51:44,942 --> 00:51:49,612
Morana you dirty
little temptress! Aghh, Ohh!
866
00:51:49,613 --> 00:51:53,716
Oh yes, I've never been
filled like this before!
867
00:51:53,717 --> 00:51:57,519
Feel my power Morana!
Feel my power inside you!
868
00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:00,522
Fill me with your staff
of power! It's so good!
869
00:52:00,523 --> 00:52:04,426
Oh, you're so huge! Oh, Casimir!
870
00:52:04,427 --> 00:52:06,694
- Feel my power!
- Oh! Oh! Give it to me!
871
00:52:06,695 --> 00:52:09,597
- Ohh! Ohh!
- Give it to me!
872
00:52:09,598 --> 00:52:11,532
- Ohh!
- Casimir!
873
00:52:11,533 --> 00:52:13,433
Alright, lover. Do you
mind if I sit of your face
874
00:52:13,434 --> 00:52:15,469
while you fuck my friend? Haha!
875
00:52:15,470 --> 00:52:19,575
Ooh! Oh! Oh, God! Oh!
876
00:52:22,242 --> 00:52:23,977
- What the hell?
- Zombies!
877
00:52:23,978 --> 00:52:27,513
- They've got in!
- My face!
878
00:52:27,514 --> 00:52:30,416
- It's Harriet's fault!
- Hey!
879
00:52:30,417 --> 00:52:31,919
You muppets!
880
00:52:33,921 --> 00:52:36,923
(SINISTER TONE)
881
00:52:39,225 --> 00:52:42,228
(MOANING SOUNDS)
882
00:52:57,375 --> 00:53:00,378
(INAUDIBLE)
883
00:53:08,986 --> 00:53:12,188
(MOANING SOUNDS CONTINUE)
884
00:53:17,260 --> 00:53:19,596
TREVOR: Feel my, feel my power!
885
00:53:21,565 --> 00:53:23,766
I could of sworn
I heard something.
886
00:53:23,767 --> 00:53:25,534
Like what?
887
00:53:25,535 --> 00:53:27,903
I dunno.
888
00:53:27,904 --> 00:53:32,774
Fucking Trevor. Why'd
he have to come back?
889
00:53:32,775 --> 00:53:37,445
I know, right. When we
were having so much fun!
890
00:53:37,446 --> 00:53:40,548
I'm wet just thinking about it.
891
00:53:40,549 --> 00:53:42,515
You're a very bad girl!
892
00:53:42,516 --> 00:53:46,520
(MOANING SOUNDS)
There! Didn't you hear that?
893
00:53:59,799 --> 00:54:00,833
Ahh!
894
00:54:00,834 --> 00:54:03,569
(INTENSE MUSICAL ORCHESTRA)
895
00:54:03,570 --> 00:54:06,573
Ah, Stop! Ah! Ohh!
896
00:54:08,675 --> 00:54:11,610
Oh, my God! Run! Zombies!
897
00:54:11,611 --> 00:54:13,312
Zombies!
898
00:54:22,721 --> 00:54:24,522
- What the hell?
- Zombies!
899
00:54:24,523 --> 00:54:27,859
- They've got in!
- My face!
900
00:54:27,860 --> 00:54:31,661
What did I say?
Tell me, what did I say?
901
00:54:31,662 --> 00:54:34,363
I said, stay away from
the doors and windows.
902
00:54:34,364 --> 00:54:37,033
These things. Anything but
advertise our presence.
903
00:54:37,034 --> 00:54:39,468
That's all you had to do.
Literally everything.
904
00:54:39,469 --> 00:54:42,638
And yet I get five minutes to
clean up and somehow you,
905
00:54:42,639 --> 00:54:46,541
mouth breathers, manage
to let in pervy Uncle Fester!
906
00:54:46,542 --> 00:54:48,110
It wasn't me T!
907
00:54:48,111 --> 00:54:51,346
I know Graham. I know.
908
00:54:51,347 --> 00:54:53,515
My face, it really hurts!
909
00:54:53,516 --> 00:54:55,850
I'm sorry about that
Harriet, I really am, although
910
00:54:55,851 --> 00:54:56,919
I could say, I told you so.
911
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,687
Oh, don't be
so bloody smug Trevor.
912
00:54:59,688 --> 00:55:03,057
And why shouldn't I be smug,
Bobbi? For once something
913
00:55:03,058 --> 00:55:07,361
terrible has happened and it
isn't my bloody fault! Hahahaha!
914
00:55:07,362 --> 00:55:08,363
Ugh.
915
00:55:09,798 --> 00:55:10,799
Fuck.
916
00:55:16,137 --> 00:55:19,339
(THROWING UP SOUNDS)
917
00:55:27,548 --> 00:55:29,049
Ahhhhhh?
918
00:55:40,059 --> 00:55:41,060
Ohh.
919
00:55:46,431 --> 00:55:49,600
Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shh!
920
00:55:50,769 --> 00:55:53,170
(INDISTINCT MUMBLING)
921
00:55:53,171 --> 00:55:55,372
(GROANING SOUNDS)
922
00:56:00,511 --> 00:56:01,512
Christ!
923
00:56:03,447 --> 00:56:06,449
(SUSPENSEFUL AMBIENCE BUILD UP)
924
00:56:12,822 --> 00:56:15,558
Shh! Shhh! Shhh!
925
00:56:20,530 --> 00:56:23,965
Wait. Wait.
926
00:56:23,966 --> 00:56:25,967
I Think they've
headed to the bedroom.
927
00:56:25,968 --> 00:56:28,703
We need to make a break for it.
928
00:56:28,704 --> 00:56:30,171
Make a break for it?
929
00:56:30,172 --> 00:56:33,207
Ugh, yes!
The compound is breached!
930
00:56:33,208 --> 00:56:35,109
What we gonna do about her?
931
00:56:35,110 --> 00:56:36,643
Well, she comes too!
932
00:56:36,644 --> 00:56:40,814
No, she's been, uh...
933
00:56:40,815 --> 00:56:43,917
BOBBI: Listen, if we
go, we've got to go now!
934
00:56:43,918 --> 00:56:45,518
I can't go out in just a towel!
935
00:56:45,519 --> 00:56:46,586
Oh, man up!
936
00:56:46,587 --> 00:56:47,787
I'll man up when you
give me your bloody clothes.
937
00:56:47,788 --> 00:56:50,090
Well, why don't you go to
the bedroom then, and slip into
938
00:56:50,091 --> 00:56:51,557
something a little
more comfortable,
939
00:56:51,558 --> 00:56:53,491
with dead fucking Derek?!
940
00:56:53,492 --> 00:56:55,060
- Shit!
- No, he's right.
941
00:56:55,061 --> 00:56:56,896
He needs clothes.
942
00:56:56,897 --> 00:56:58,898
Thank you, Graham.
943
00:56:58,899 --> 00:57:02,500
You're gonna have to kill Derek.
944
00:57:02,501 --> 00:57:06,504
You expect me to wrestle
a zombie in just a towel?
945
00:57:06,505 --> 00:57:09,473
That's really, that's
really supportive. Thank you.
946
00:57:09,474 --> 00:57:13,811
Fucking sake! Do
not leave me alone with him!
947
00:57:15,014 --> 00:57:17,015
I'm still here Bobbi!
948
00:57:17,016 --> 00:57:20,084
I know, I know
mate. I just meant...
949
00:57:20,085 --> 00:57:22,953
HARRIET: Bloody Derek!
950
00:57:22,954 --> 00:57:24,955
I gave him a discount even.
951
00:57:27,191 --> 00:57:28,558
I did!
952
00:57:30,694 --> 00:57:33,796
Fine. Fine.
953
00:57:33,797 --> 00:57:35,798
I'll do it.
954
00:57:35,799 --> 00:57:37,500
I'll deal with Derek.
955
00:57:37,501 --> 00:57:38,601
Oh, you don't
have to do that mate.
956
00:57:38,602 --> 00:57:41,903
No, no, no. No, no.
It's okay. I'll take care of it.
957
00:57:41,904 --> 00:57:45,573
Ugh, I'll distract him while
you go and get on a pair of
958
00:57:45,574 --> 00:57:47,576
bloody trousers and shit.
959
00:57:49,645 --> 00:57:52,213
You'd do that just for me?
960
00:57:52,214 --> 00:57:53,582
Yes, mate.
961
00:57:55,885 --> 00:57:58,285
Give us a hug!
962
00:57:58,286 --> 00:58:00,988
Uhh, okay. Enough of that.
963
00:58:00,989 --> 00:58:01,922
That's uhh...
964
00:58:01,923 --> 00:58:04,759
That, that was not,
not to do with that.
965
00:58:06,593 --> 00:58:09,863
Okay, ugh, we'll be right back.
966
00:58:09,864 --> 00:58:12,866
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
967
00:58:25,279 --> 00:58:26,646
Ughhuhh.
968
00:58:36,755 --> 00:58:39,090
Harr-Harriet?
969
00:58:39,091 --> 00:58:42,626
What's happening to me?
970
00:58:42,627 --> 00:58:45,629
You're going to be okay,
alright? You're gonna be fine.
971
00:58:53,337 --> 00:58:55,039
Stay behind me.
972
00:59:03,279 --> 00:59:06,282
HARRIET: I can't believe
Derek actually bit me.
973
00:59:08,018 --> 00:59:11,788
He's usually so gentle with me.
974
00:59:14,991 --> 00:59:18,994
Yeah. I-I-I told Trevor that
you'd have a threesome with us.
975
00:59:22,663 --> 00:59:23,999
Oh, God.
976
00:59:29,071 --> 00:59:31,938
I really didn't,
I didn't mean it.
977
00:59:31,939 --> 00:59:33,906
This is for
fucking the lovely Morana!
978
00:59:33,907 --> 00:59:36,710
You festering
piece of offal! Ahh!
979
00:59:37,711 --> 00:59:38,712
Ahh!
980
00:59:50,222 --> 00:59:52,925
Go on, Trevor! I've got this!
981
00:59:59,832 --> 01:00:03,069
Ahhh! Ahha! Ahhhh!
982
01:00:07,205 --> 01:00:09,173
(STRUGGLING SOUNDS)
983
01:00:09,174 --> 01:00:10,175
Ah!
984
01:00:17,415 --> 01:00:19,750
See! All those times you
bitched at me for leaving
985
01:00:19,751 --> 01:00:21,985
clothes on the
floor. And now it pays off!
986
01:00:24,922 --> 01:00:28,024
Is she turning?
987
01:00:28,025 --> 01:00:30,859
Oh, I think so, yeah.
988
01:00:30,860 --> 01:00:33,196
Right so, that's you
fully dressed then?
989
01:00:33,197 --> 01:00:35,199
Well, it's a start isn't it?
990
01:00:38,700 --> 01:00:42,137
Harriet? I know seems
horribly inappropriate but
991
01:00:42,138 --> 01:00:44,372
do you think I could
possibly have my t-shirt now?
992
01:00:44,373 --> 01:00:46,073
Oh, for fucks
sake Trevor, come on!
993
01:00:46,074 --> 01:00:47,074
What?
994
01:00:47,075 --> 01:00:48,943
Just why don't you get
some dirty ones out the
995
01:00:48,944 --> 01:00:50,744
laundry basket
or something? Why?
996
01:00:50,745 --> 01:00:52,379
(OPENING AND
CLOSING DOOR SOUNDS)
997
01:00:52,380 --> 01:00:54,881
You've got to be shitting me!
998
01:00:54,882 --> 01:00:56,916
Graham.
999
01:00:56,917 --> 01:00:59,285
Cheers mate!
1000
01:00:59,286 --> 01:01:02,289
Hey, I told you I had it?
1001
01:01:04,792 --> 01:01:06,293
Now I have!
1002
01:01:08,428 --> 01:01:09,629
GRAHAM: What?
1003
01:01:15,702 --> 01:01:18,137
- What, I've got two.
- Ugh.
1004
01:01:18,138 --> 01:01:20,173
I'd forgot it
was in there, alright?
1005
01:01:25,410 --> 01:01:29,247
I have laid waste
to your enemy my lady!
1006
01:01:29,248 --> 01:01:31,950
Vengeance is yours!
1007
01:01:34,752 --> 01:01:36,354
We're fucked mate.
1008
01:01:36,355 --> 01:01:37,955
You two should
probably get out,
1009
01:01:37,956 --> 01:01:41,024
you know, before any of
the others find their way in.
1010
01:01:41,025 --> 01:01:42,026
Yeah.
1011
01:01:50,368 --> 01:01:52,868
I'll never forget this.
1012
01:01:52,869 --> 01:01:55,373
Oh, right, Trev.
Come on, let's go.
1013
01:01:59,942 --> 01:02:03,077
So long, Sir Brandt!
1014
01:02:03,078 --> 01:02:05,347
Farewell, brave Casim...
1015
01:02:05,348 --> 01:02:08,517
Oh, for fucks sake. Come
on, Sir Wankalot. Let's go.
1016
01:02:08,518 --> 01:02:11,220
- Sorry.
- Bye, Bobbi.
1017
01:02:17,392 --> 01:02:19,394
Thought you might need this.
1018
01:02:22,197 --> 01:02:24,298
I didn't know you cared.
1019
01:02:24,299 --> 01:02:26,000
Oh, don't be silly.
1020
01:02:28,502 --> 01:02:30,704
Well, I'm sorry about Harriet.
1021
01:02:31,772 --> 01:02:35,875
I'm sorry about.
1022
01:02:35,876 --> 01:02:37,878
- Graham.
- Yeah.
1023
01:02:42,883 --> 01:02:45,884
(ROMANTIC MUSIC)
1024
01:02:56,529 --> 01:02:58,996
Graham?
1025
01:02:58,997 --> 01:03:00,564
I know my love.
1026
01:03:00,565 --> 01:03:04,101
This is the only
end I could of wished for too.
1027
01:03:08,072 --> 01:03:10,940
I want
1028
01:03:10,941 --> 01:03:15,878
to ea-eaaa...
1029
01:03:15,879 --> 01:03:20,882
I, I want you.
1030
01:03:20,883 --> 01:03:23,152
I want you.
1031
01:03:31,227 --> 01:03:33,227
Come on, let's beat this thing.
1032
01:03:33,228 --> 01:03:35,997
(MOANING SOUNDS)
1033
01:03:35,998 --> 01:03:38,000
- Come on.
- We should get going.
1034
01:03:39,268 --> 01:03:41,035
Were you serious about
that threesome by the way?
1035
01:03:41,036 --> 01:03:42,470
Because, umm, if you were,
1036
01:03:42,471 --> 01:03:44,572
there might still
be other people alive.
1037
01:03:44,573 --> 01:03:47,775
(ROMANTIC OPERA MUSIC)
1038
01:04:09,028 --> 01:04:12,031
(ROMANTIC
OPERA MUSIC CONTINUES)
1039
01:04:29,981 --> 01:04:32,984
(OPERA MUSIC FADES OUT)
1040
01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:39,523
(BELL RINGING)
(OMINOUS TONE)
1041
01:04:48,198 --> 01:04:49,199
Balls!
1042
01:04:52,468 --> 01:04:54,470
- Double balls!
- Yeah!
1043
01:04:56,172 --> 01:04:59,474
Hey, numb nuts!
1044
01:04:59,475 --> 01:05:01,909
Say hello to my little friend!
1045
01:05:01,910 --> 01:05:02,910
Ahh!
1046
01:05:02,911 --> 01:05:05,914
(HIGH TEMPO PERCUSSION)
1047
01:05:07,483 --> 01:05:09,184
Ahhhhh!
1048
01:05:12,187 --> 01:05:14,522
Ain't no ice cream
in your fucking future!
1049
01:05:16,157 --> 01:05:18,091
Doc! Thank God!
1050
01:05:18,092 --> 01:05:21,395
Well, don't thank him. I'm the
one doing all the heavy lifting!
1051
01:05:21,396 --> 01:05:23,996
- Is this the wife?
- Oh yeah, Bobbi.
1052
01:05:23,997 --> 01:05:26,399
- Bobbi Doc, Doc Bobbi.
- Nice!
1053
01:05:26,400 --> 01:05:27,700
Hiya!
1054
01:05:27,701 --> 01:05:29,201
Why don't you take the lady,
1055
01:05:29,202 --> 01:05:32,170
and I will handle
the rest of these fuckers!
1056
01:05:32,171 --> 01:05:34,072
Lady?
1057
01:05:34,073 --> 01:05:36,642
Ah, it's just a figure of
speech, no offense intended.
1058
01:05:36,643 --> 01:05:38,611
No, none taken at all.
1059
01:05:38,612 --> 01:05:41,045
Wh-why don't you come with us?
1060
01:05:41,046 --> 01:05:44,616
No, I'm having too much fun.
1061
01:05:44,617 --> 01:05:47,551
But why don't you take
her some place nice and quiet
1062
01:05:47,552 --> 01:05:49,987
and start to
work on repopulating.
1063
01:05:49,988 --> 01:05:52,991
Looks like she's got
some child-bearing hips.
1064
01:05:56,127 --> 01:05:58,528
I'll see you around.
1065
01:05:58,529 --> 01:06:00,531
Haaaaaaa!
1066
01:06:04,168 --> 01:06:06,302
So why can't you just
be like Doc then, Trevor?
1067
01:06:06,303 --> 01:06:07,737
I'm not going to be
like him. He's a weirdo.
1068
01:06:07,738 --> 01:06:10,039
Right. Well, you're
meant to be the fucking hero.
1069
01:06:10,040 --> 01:06:12,074
Did you see him? He had,
he had a bag full of vaginas
1070
01:06:12,075 --> 01:06:14,743
and who wears a cowboy hat
outside bloody East London?
1071
01:06:14,744 --> 01:06:16,311
- Wel...
- I, I'm taking you somewhere.
1072
01:06:16,312 --> 01:06:17,746
Alright?
1073
01:06:17,747 --> 01:06:19,481
I'm taking you somewhere
safe, and things are going to be
1074
01:06:19,482 --> 01:06:21,250
better. We're going to
be able to live off the land.
1075
01:06:21,251 --> 01:06:23,117
We're going to be able to
start again. Everything's gonna
1076
01:06:23,118 --> 01:06:24,286
be great,
alright? I promise you.
1077
01:06:24,287 --> 01:06:27,223
Everything's going to be
incredibly, incredibly amazing.
1078
01:06:33,762 --> 01:06:36,230
So, this is your
somewhere safe then?
1079
01:06:42,103 --> 01:06:46,071
Well, I like
to say "get a life".
1080
01:06:46,072 --> 01:06:48,140
Precious commodity now.
1081
01:06:48,141 --> 01:06:51,144
Yeah, well maybe
you're a sad excuse for one.
1082
01:06:54,247 --> 01:06:57,450
I'm glad you're
still alive Trev.
1083
01:06:57,451 --> 01:06:58,452
Thanks.
1084
01:07:00,186 --> 01:07:01,687
Wait here.
1085
01:07:14,266 --> 01:07:15,434
Oh, Christ!
1086
01:07:17,769 --> 01:07:20,472
Trev?
(INDISCERNIBLE CHATTER)
1087
01:07:24,609 --> 01:07:25,610
Trevor?
1088
01:07:27,445 --> 01:07:30,614
So?
1089
01:07:30,615 --> 01:07:31,782
TREVOR: Come in!
1090
01:07:31,783 --> 01:07:32,982
Cheers!
1091
01:07:37,688 --> 01:07:40,691
Well, at least it's not raining.
1092
01:07:41,692 --> 01:07:44,326
Well, only 'cau-cause
your toys would get wet.
1093
01:07:44,327 --> 01:07:46,762
- They're not toys.
- No. Well, yeah they are.
1094
01:07:46,763 --> 01:07:48,597
No, yo-you wouldn't understand.
1095
01:07:48,598 --> 01:07:51,633
No, Trevor. I understand. I
understand that this is your
1096
01:07:51,634 --> 01:07:54,401
hide-out, and that you'll do
anything else except prepare
1097
01:07:54,402 --> 01:07:55,604
for the fucking world to end.
1098
01:07:55,605 --> 01:07:58,172
But, yeah. I guess I should
of seen that coming should I?
1099
01:07:58,173 --> 01:07:59,406
- Jesus!
- Trevor, Trevor?!
1100
01:07:59,407 --> 01:08:02,443
How are we meant to survive if
all you're doing is playing with
1101
01:08:02,444 --> 01:08:05,445
toys and brewing whatever
the fuck are in them bottles?
1102
01:08:05,446 --> 01:08:08,114
It's not brewing, it's
distilling! And it-it's vodka!
1103
01:08:08,115 --> 01:08:10,483
Right! Okay, then. Well,
I'll tell you what we'll do.
1104
01:08:10,484 --> 01:08:13,821
We'll get really, really pissed
on your moonshine, yeah?
1105
01:08:13,822 --> 01:08:16,689
And then with any luck,
hopefully, hopefully we'll be
1106
01:08:16,690 --> 01:08:19,292
that fucking pissed we won't
feel a thing when the zombies
1107
01:08:19,293 --> 01:08:22,361
come and fucking eat us!
1108
01:08:22,362 --> 01:08:23,428
- What is that?
- Lea-leave it!
1109
01:08:23,429 --> 01:08:24,696
- What Is that?
- Come on, I just came
1110
01:08:24,697 --> 01:08:27,199
in here deliberately before you
so you wouldn't have to see it.
1111
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:30,436
You don't want to
see it. It's messy.
1112
01:08:33,806 --> 01:08:35,307
Are you protecting me?
1113
01:08:35,308 --> 01:08:36,841
No, I just don't want
you throwing up in my shed.
1114
01:08:36,842 --> 01:08:39,844
- Are you being a gentleman?
- Hardly.
1115
01:08:39,845 --> 01:08:42,346
Oh, Trevor!
1116
01:08:42,347 --> 01:08:43,814
The one that
used to be so sweet.
1117
01:08:43,815 --> 01:08:46,182
- Don't be ridiculous.
- He's back!
1118
01:08:46,183 --> 01:08:47,519
Shut up!
1119
01:08:50,689 --> 01:08:54,558
Look Trevor, you know,
you know about Harriet?
1120
01:08:54,559 --> 01:08:57,460
It's okay. I forgive you.
1121
01:08:57,461 --> 01:09:00,797
Really? Because I-I
was afraid you were dead.
1122
01:09:00,798 --> 01:09:03,867
You know, I just wanted
pleasure before I was too.
1123
01:09:03,868 --> 01:09:06,268
Totally understandable.
1124
01:09:06,269 --> 01:09:08,637
Ah, but, at least there
weren't any men involved.
1125
01:09:08,638 --> 01:09:09,705
There is that.
1126
01:09:09,706 --> 01:09:12,507
And you weren't dead.
1127
01:09:12,508 --> 01:09:13,843
Not yet.
1128
01:09:16,445 --> 01:09:18,814
You know we could.
1129
01:09:18,815 --> 01:09:20,315
What?
1130
01:09:20,316 --> 01:09:22,918
Well, it's been a
long time hasn't it?
1131
01:09:22,919 --> 01:09:25,920
Jesus Bobbi, are you
trying to seduce me?
1132
01:09:25,921 --> 01:09:30,124
Oh, Trevor. I remember the time
where you didn't need seducing.
1133
01:09:31,359 --> 01:09:34,928
What was it that
you used to call it?
1134
01:09:34,929 --> 01:09:36,631
Staff of power.
1135
01:09:37,832 --> 01:09:39,600
- Oop!
- Oh!
1136
01:09:39,601 --> 01:09:44,170
- There it is! Eeheehee haha.
- Oh. There it is!
1137
01:09:44,171 --> 01:09:46,672
- Ugh. Mmm.
- Oh, Trevor.
1138
01:09:46,673 --> 01:09:49,809
God, it feels
a bit cold you know.
1139
01:09:49,810 --> 01:09:53,179
Maybe I should get my
warm mouth over it, yeah?
1140
01:09:56,916 --> 01:10:00,284
Ouch! For fucks sake!
1141
01:10:00,285 --> 01:10:02,787
Bastard fucking.
1142
01:10:02,788 --> 01:10:04,956
Christ almighty little shit!
1143
01:10:04,957 --> 01:10:08,258
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no. Careful with him!
1144
01:10:08,259 --> 01:10:10,862
- Careful with him? With him?
- Can I, can I just have him?
1145
01:10:10,863 --> 01:10:14,197
It's a piece of metal you twat,
that went straight into my leg.
1146
01:10:14,198 --> 01:10:16,767
Straight into my leg as I
was about to suck your dick.
1147
01:10:16,768 --> 01:10:17,935
You ungrateful sod!
1148
01:10:17,936 --> 01:10:19,970
Please, just, just, just,
just give him to me please.
1149
01:10:19,971 --> 01:10:21,437
Just, just, just
let me have him.
1150
01:10:21,438 --> 01:10:24,240
Oh God, Gandalf the fucking gay!
1151
01:10:24,241 --> 01:10:25,242
Casimir.
1152
01:10:29,445 --> 01:10:31,813
Cas-im-there, now!
1153
01:10:31,814 --> 01:10:34,817
(GROWLING SOUNDS)
(DRAMATIC TONE)
1154
01:10:37,787 --> 01:10:39,489
God damn it!
1155
01:10:41,557 --> 01:10:42,725
Woman!
1156
01:10:45,594 --> 01:10:47,895
- Shit!
- Oh, please Trevor!
1157
01:10:47,896 --> 01:10:49,898
Man the fuck up!
1158
01:10:54,236 --> 01:10:56,604
Oh, shhhit!
1159
01:10:56,605 --> 01:10:59,473
(TENSE ORCHESTRAL)
1160
01:10:59,474 --> 01:11:02,342
They came back.
1161
01:11:02,343 --> 01:11:04,243
BOBBI: Back? Wh-what do you mean back?
1162
01:11:04,244 --> 01:11:05,746
Back here.
1163
01:11:06,781 --> 01:11:08,783
They're the allotment tenants.
1164
01:11:11,485 --> 01:11:14,954
Well, maybe they're
headed somewhere familiar?
1165
01:11:14,955 --> 01:11:16,889
- Bit like yourself?
- It's dawn of the dead Bobbi.
1166
01:11:16,890 --> 01:11:18,090
This isn't a
fucking shopping mall!
1167
01:11:18,091 --> 01:11:21,292
Well, either way the gardeners
are back. You know, you know
1168
01:11:21,293 --> 01:11:24,997
maybe the-they're
hungry for some fleshier shit
1169
01:11:24,998 --> 01:11:26,564
than fucking cabbage.
1170
01:11:26,565 --> 01:11:27,734
Yeah.
1171
01:11:31,037 --> 01:11:32,236
Fuck.
1172
01:11:33,271 --> 01:11:37,407
Trev, you reckon we
should shut the door lock?
1173
01:11:37,408 --> 01:11:39,743
Trev?
1174
01:11:39,744 --> 01:11:42,046
Fuck off.
1175
01:11:42,047 --> 01:11:43,748
Fuck off!
1176
01:11:45,683 --> 01:11:48,685
(INTENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP)
1177
01:11:56,059 --> 01:11:59,528
Shit, can't stop
making it fucking hurt.
1178
01:11:59,529 --> 01:12:00,530
God.
1179
01:12:02,699 --> 01:12:05,701
(MOANING SOUNDS)
1180
01:12:12,808 --> 01:12:13,809
Fuck.
1181
01:12:25,820 --> 01:12:27,888
I bet every shed on
this allotment has fucking
1182
01:12:27,889 --> 01:12:32,392
built in super cool
zombie killing gun stuff.
1183
01:12:37,765 --> 01:12:40,466
You could of at least
brought a golf club Trevor!
1184
01:12:48,909 --> 01:12:52,443
Trevor?
Trevor say something.
1185
01:12:52,444 --> 01:12:54,446
Ma-maybe I'm immune.
1186
01:12:56,448 --> 01:12:59,451
(BANGING SOUNDS)
1187
01:13:07,691 --> 01:13:12,095
Ah, come Casimir!
1188
01:13:12,096 --> 01:13:16,366
We have been at odds for
as long as I can recall, and
1189
01:13:16,367 --> 01:13:20,403
now I must offer
you an Olive branch
1190
01:13:20,404 --> 01:13:22,705
in your time of need.
1191
01:13:22,706 --> 01:13:24,840
Along with some sage advice
1192
01:13:24,841 --> 01:13:27,876
to assist you in
your predicament.
1193
01:13:27,877 --> 01:13:32,446
Thank you, Sir Brandt.
I appreciate your counsel.
1194
01:13:32,447 --> 01:13:37,452
Do you recall the Autumn
campaign some five years past?
1195
01:13:38,955 --> 01:13:43,891
Perhaps you can remind
me of the particulars.
1196
01:13:43,892 --> 01:13:47,128
Hahaha. My Lady Morana,
1197
01:13:47,129 --> 01:13:50,564
great strategist that she was,
1198
01:13:50,565 --> 01:13:54,835
had ordered her main
force to assault your castle,
1199
01:13:54,836 --> 01:13:58,537
whilst sending her seventh
battalion of zombie volunteers
1200
01:13:58,538 --> 01:14:02,842
into the otherwise impenetrable
swamp of Sagra since they would
1201
01:14:02,843 --> 01:14:06,846
be immune to the
poisonous fumes therein.
1202
01:14:06,847 --> 01:14:10,449
Hahaha. Yes, I do recall.
1203
01:14:10,450 --> 01:14:14,986
A glorious pincer movement.
Hahaha. She, uh, cleverly
1204
01:14:14,987 --> 01:14:16,988
fed you the information
1205
01:14:16,989 --> 01:14:20,124
by sacrificing her scouts.
1206
01:14:20,125 --> 01:14:22,126
A worthy opponent.
1207
01:14:22,127 --> 01:14:25,096
Knowing that you would
have to divide your forces and
1208
01:14:25,097 --> 01:14:29,466
fight a losing
battle on two fronts.
1209
01:14:29,467 --> 01:14:30,901
But you,
1210
01:14:30,902 --> 01:14:34,504
you brave Casimir,
1211
01:14:34,505 --> 01:14:38,041
took it upon yourself to
take on the seventh alone,
1212
01:14:38,042 --> 01:14:41,979
from a hillside overlooking
the swamp, by hurling balls
1213
01:14:41,980 --> 01:14:44,981
of fire into the
combustible lowlands,
1214
01:14:44,982 --> 01:14:48,718
incinerating the entire
battalion single-handed.
1215
01:14:48,719 --> 01:14:50,786
Yes. Yes!
1216
01:14:50,787 --> 01:14:53,655
Before returning to your men and
1217
01:14:53,656 --> 01:14:56,158
successfully
repelling my attack.
1218
01:14:56,159 --> 01:14:59,693
Yes, yo-you, you're
saying I should leave Bobbi.
1219
01:14:59,694 --> 01:15:02,197
No you twat! Well
that as well probably.
1220
01:15:02,198 --> 01:15:05,400
I'm saying you
should torch the fuckers!
1221
01:15:08,237 --> 01:15:10,604
I've got it. I know
what we have to do.
1222
01:15:10,605 --> 01:15:11,606
What?
1223
01:15:13,541 --> 01:15:15,575
Right, they're all
round the front, yeah?
1224
01:15:15,576 --> 01:15:16,743
And?
1225
01:15:16,744 --> 01:15:18,811
We douse the shed in Trevoff.
1226
01:15:18,812 --> 01:15:19,879
Trevoff? Fucking hell.
1227
01:15:19,880 --> 01:15:22,916
We douse the shed in
Trevoff, open the front door,
1228
01:15:22,917 --> 01:15:25,718
climb out the back, make a
break for it, I'll make one into
1229
01:15:25,719 --> 01:15:27,921
a Molotov. We'll chuck
it in. Burn them to death.
1230
01:15:27,922 --> 01:15:30,757
More death. You, you know.
Just, they won't do anything.
1231
01:15:30,758 --> 01:15:31,758
Yeah.
1232
01:15:38,131 --> 01:15:41,134
(MUSICAL BUILD UP)
1233
01:15:50,142 --> 01:15:53,145
(CONTINUOUS BANGING SOUNDS)
1234
01:16:04,554 --> 01:16:07,058
I'm saving one so
we can celebrate later.
1235
01:16:11,996 --> 01:16:14,999
(GLASS CLINKING SOUNDS)
1236
01:16:27,810 --> 01:16:30,813
You know it only takes
one of us to open the door?
1237
01:16:33,682 --> 01:16:35,949
I'm not leaving you.
1238
01:16:35,950 --> 01:16:37,652
Yes, you are.
1239
01:16:39,053 --> 01:16:41,822
Like you said you might be
immune. We can't know for sure.
1240
01:16:41,823 --> 01:16:43,056
- Trevor?
- We can't assume.
1241
01:16:43,057 --> 01:16:45,892
Assume makes an ass out of you
and me. That's a famous phrase.
1242
01:16:45,893 --> 01:16:47,027
Trevor?
1243
01:16:47,028 --> 01:16:51,231
- Assumption is the mother of...
- Trevor!
1244
01:16:51,232 --> 01:16:53,934
God, you know better
than to argue with me.
1245
01:16:57,270 --> 01:16:59,639
Just don't let me
become one of them.
1246
01:17:07,612 --> 01:17:11,283
And you were right. I did
start smoking to annoy you!
1247
01:17:15,121 --> 01:17:17,123
Right, just go.
You'll be alright.
1248
01:17:19,624 --> 01:17:22,627
Just don't make me ask
you again, alright? Now, go!
1249
01:17:26,630 --> 01:17:28,233
I said, go! Go.
1250
01:17:31,068 --> 01:17:34,071
(UPLIFTING EPIC MUSIC)
1251
01:17:41,245 --> 01:17:44,247
(MOANING AND GROWLING SOUNDS)
1252
01:17:54,123 --> 01:17:57,224
BOBBI: You fucking bitches!
1253
01:17:57,225 --> 01:18:00,228
BOBBI: (INDISCERNIBLE CHATTER)
1254
01:18:03,198 --> 01:18:06,201
(PAINFUL SCREAMING SOUNDS)
1255
01:18:19,413 --> 01:18:22,416
(EPIC MUSIC FADES OUT)
1256
01:18:26,287 --> 01:18:29,288
(THUNDER SOUNDS)
1257
01:18:29,289 --> 01:18:32,292
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
1258
01:18:45,036 --> 01:18:49,440
NARRATOR: In the months that passed,
Trevor learned to tend the land.
1259
01:18:49,441 --> 01:18:53,877
To survive. He'd all
but forgotten Casimir.
1260
01:18:53,878 --> 01:18:56,813
Hell, he'd become Casimir.
1261
01:18:56,814 --> 01:18:58,949
A bloody hero, as much as any
1262
01:18:58,950 --> 01:19:03,953
man alone can be.
The real heroes he often
1263
01:19:03,954 --> 01:19:07,857
reflected as he worked,
were those that died so
1264
01:19:07,858 --> 01:19:12,862
that he might live. Bobbi.
Graham. He would always
1265
01:19:12,863 --> 01:19:14,865
remember their sacrifices.
1266
01:19:22,704 --> 01:19:24,205
DOC: They're not human anymore.
1267
01:19:24,206 --> 01:19:28,210
They're dead.
When you see 'em, you kill 'em.
1268
01:19:31,980 --> 01:19:33,981
And I hope you'd
do the same for me?
1269
01:19:33,982 --> 01:19:36,782
'Cause I don't wanna
be one of the living dead.
1270
01:19:36,783 --> 01:19:39,254
I wanna be one
of the dead, dead.
1271
01:19:42,123 --> 01:19:45,925
NARRATOR: And he'd eventually
learn the most basic of lessons
1272
01:19:45,926 --> 01:19:49,162
for surviving a
zombie apocalypse.
1273
01:19:49,163 --> 01:19:54,166
When you find a good weapon,
you bloody well hold on to it!
1274
01:19:54,167 --> 01:19:57,170
(HIGH TEMPO DRUMS)
1275
01:20:00,742 --> 01:20:04,775
Subtitles by explosiveskull
1276
01:20:04,776 --> 01:20:07,077
♪ You've been saying
1277
01:20:07,078 --> 01:20:11,448
♪ there's no worst thing then
sisters crying in their sleep ♪
1278
01:20:11,449 --> 01:20:14,986
♪ Dying on their
feet to take you home ♪
1279
01:20:19,390 --> 01:20:23,326
♪ Dad is thinking
that I've been drinking ♪
1280
01:20:23,327 --> 01:20:25,929
♪ My way back to you
1281
01:20:25,930 --> 01:20:29,934
♪ my way back to
you one more time ♪
1282
01:20:33,904 --> 01:20:38,040
♪ I hear your
laughter but all I'm after ♪
1283
01:20:38,041 --> 01:20:40,409
♪ Is the tear in your eye
1284
01:20:40,410 --> 01:20:44,414
♪ it's my wings I can
fly that's in their world ♪
1285
01:20:48,917 --> 01:20:52,919
♪ Daylight's fading
but I'm still waiting ♪
1286
01:20:52,920 --> 01:20:57,291
♪ Your hand on my heart. Tearing
long and apart ♪
1287
01:20:57,292 --> 01:20:59,261
♪ Like you do
1288
01:21:03,532 --> 01:21:08,535
♪ heeey-eey,
I pick up the pieces baby ♪
1289
01:21:08,536 --> 01:21:13,372
♪ Dry your eyes
and take you home ♪
1290
01:21:13,373 --> 01:21:16,008
♪ Locked out
1291
01:21:16,009 --> 01:21:20,347
♪ nothing
moves around here ♪
1292
01:21:22,082 --> 01:21:24,083
♪ Without you
1293
01:21:37,963 --> 01:21:40,364
♪ I know you stolen
1294
01:21:40,365 --> 01:21:44,434
♪ the shadows fall
behind that old familiar pain ♪
1295
01:21:44,435 --> 01:21:48,039
♪ Of me stranded
again in your heart ♪
1296
01:21:52,410 --> 01:21:56,479
♪ The boat is sinking
and I'm still drinking ♪
1297
01:21:56,480 --> 01:21:59,181
♪ My way back to you
1298
01:21:59,182 --> 01:22:03,052
♪ my way back to
you one last time ♪
1299
01:22:07,491 --> 01:22:12,494
♪ Heeyeyy! I pick
up the pieces baby ♪
1300
01:22:12,495 --> 01:22:17,164
♪ Dry your eyes and
take you home ♪
1301
01:22:17,165 --> 01:22:19,534
♪ Locked out
1302
01:22:19,535 --> 01:22:23,905
♪ nothing
moves around here ♪
1303
01:22:25,608 --> 01:22:27,975
♪ Without you
1304
01:22:41,188 --> 01:22:44,190
(GUITAR SOLO)
1305
01:23:00,938 --> 01:23:04,942
(SOMBER ORCHESTRATION)
1306
01:23:25,195 --> 01:23:29,199
(ORCHESTRA CONTINUES)
1307
01:23:48,950 --> 01:23:52,954
(INTENSE DRUMS)
1308
01:24:06,400 --> 01:24:10,404
(TEMPO SPEEDS UP)
1309
01:24:28,320 --> 01:24:32,323
(INTENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP)
1310
01:24:52,575 --> 01:24:56,579
(RAPID VIOLIN)
1311
01:25:10,225 --> 01:25:14,229
(ORCHESTRA FADING OUT)
1312
01:25:20,268 --> 01:25:24,271
(INTENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP)
1313
01:25:39,284 --> 01:25:42,821
(MUSIC FADES OUT)
1314
01:25:42,822 --> 01:25:45,023
(DRONING SOUND)
101650
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.