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00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,004
A POP Original Series
2
00:00:05,353 --> 00:00:06,745
[Hosts laugh]
- Oh...
3
00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:09,531
- Okay, if you think you've
lived through a bad day,
4
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:11,663
try being our next guest.
5
00:00:11,707 --> 00:00:14,231
- When she showed up to a
screening of her new film,
6
00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:16,364
"The Crows Have Eyes:
The Crowening--"
7
00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:18,279
- [Giggles] Fun name!
- It is!
8
00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:22,935
The last thing she expected
was an actual crow attack!
9
00:00:22,979 --> 00:00:24,807
[Crowd screams in terror]
10
00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:27,070
Hosts: [Faux sympathy] Oh...
[Chuckling]
11
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:29,507
- Well, now we're being told
that the whole thing
12
00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:32,423
was a PR stunt
put out by the movie.
13
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,425
Now, is that clever or what?
14
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:36,993
- It sure is!
We are so very lucky
15
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:40,083
to be joined this morning
by Moira Rose.
16
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,563
Well, ach!
- Ach!
17
00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:44,087
- What a ride this has been!
- Yes.
18
00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:46,220
- What a ride indeed, Barb!
19
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,265
Oh, let me first assure
your viewers
20
00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:51,007
that not a single crow
was harmed,
21
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,530
and as for the humans,
22
00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:54,576
oh, nothing but a little
wounded pride...
23
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,795
and one severed earlobe.
24
00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:58,754
- Oh! [Laughs]
- Ouch! Yeah!
25
00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:00,843
- Yes, everything you saw
26
00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:02,627
was part of a carefully
orchestrated,
27
00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,847
entirely deliberate stunt.
28
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:07,328
- Oh, well, it seems
to have worked, Moira.
29
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:10,113
With over more than
2 million views
30
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:12,159
in less than 24 hours,
31
00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:15,510
this video has created an
incredible buzz for the movie,
32
00:01:15,553 --> 00:01:17,990
which, as of right now,
33
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:21,429
is officially trending
on Interflix.
34
00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:23,431
- It is?!
[Laughs excitedly]
35
00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:25,520
Well, if you're saying
it's a smash hit,
36
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:28,044
then I'm just going to have
to take your word for it.
37
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,177
As well as the word
of millions of streamers
38
00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:32,266
across the internet, I suppose.
39
00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:35,007
You know, the brilliant thing
about being on streaming
40
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:38,010
is that one can start
the movie at any point,
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00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:39,795
any time they like.
42
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:42,319
- You know, Moira,
I think it's safe to say
43
00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:44,365
you are officially back
in the game!
44
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:45,670
[Thumps desk]
- Yes!
45
00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:47,498
- Well, you heard it here
first!
46
00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:50,153
Do not adjust your sets!
47
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:51,894
Excuse me, but I'd be remiss
48
00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:54,810
if I didn't acknowledge
my daughter, Alexis Rose.
49
00:01:57,073 --> 00:02:00,511
This whole PR coup d'état never
would've happened without her.
50
00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:02,513
- Honestly, we just had fun
with it.
51
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,211
- Can't hear you. [Chuckles]
52
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,603
Poor dear's not mic'd.
53
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:07,170
- Well, looks like there's
no stopping you two now!
54
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:08,911
Congratulations!
- Hm-hm.
55
00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:10,869
Both: Thank you!
Alexis: [Giggles]
56
00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:15,787
♪♪♪
57
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,747
[Door opens]
58
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:21,053
- Gentlemen. Morning.
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00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:24,231
I believe you've met
my roommate, Bob.
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00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:26,189
- Roommate?
- Mm-hmm.
61
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,409
- [Chuckle sheepishly] Yeah.
Uh, Ronnie's been nice enough
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00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:29,975
to let me stay in her
guest room,
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00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:31,151
ever since Gwen...
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00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:34,197
took the house.
65
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,940
- Yeah. And as much as I'm
enjoying the slumber party,
66
00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:40,769
I really think that Bob could
use a change of scenery.
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00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:43,337
Maybe he could crash here
for a night...
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00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:44,947
or six?
69
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:47,602
- Uh, yeah...
- I don't think we, uh,
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00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:50,082
we have any clean rooms
available.
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00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:52,433
- Oh, I... I don't mind
a dirty room.
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00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:55,610
I hope that doesn't sound
as sad as...
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00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:57,742
as it feels.
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00:02:57,786 --> 00:03:00,441
- Bob, why,
why don't you take a seat?
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00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:02,747
And grab some water
while you're at it,
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00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:06,229
'cause you should really
hydrate after all that crying.
77
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,579
- Gwen used to love water.
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00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,625
[Sobbing]
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00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:18,110
- Okay, I feel badly for Bob,
80
00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:19,721
but it's not a good look
81
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,940
to have him wallowing
around here.
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00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,638
Roland: Well, where do you
want the guy to wallow?
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00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:26,249
I mean, Johnny,
there's plenty of sad people
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00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:27,990
staying at this motel.
85
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:30,949
- That's not exactly how I'd
describe our guests, Roland.
86
00:03:30,993 --> 00:03:32,777
- Well, I'm just saying,
maybe he could meet
87
00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:34,953
a fellow wallower here?
88
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:37,129
- Oh, it'd be really nice
if Bob could meet somebody
89
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:38,566
'cause from what I hear,
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00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,611
Gwen isn't exactly sitting
at home.
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00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:42,439
- Or, what if...
92
00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:45,181
we take Bob out for the evening
93
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,619
and kind of act as his wingmen
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00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,273
- Johnny, you know,
the whole dating scene
95
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:52,971
has kind of changed a little
since you were single.
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00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:55,409
[Clears throat] First off,
we now have electricity.
97
00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:57,628
[Laughs]
- [Laughing]
98
00:03:57,672 --> 00:04:00,240
- Okay, all right,
are you in or not?
99
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,285
- Ooh, I'm in. 'Cause I don't
wanna miss a chance
100
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,244
to see how this plays out.
101
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:07,943
- Bob?
- Well, it...it would be so nice
102
00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:12,252
to not be completely alone
for a night.
103
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:14,079
Uh, lucky Gwen,
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00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:16,647
she has another one of her
male cousins visiting.
105
00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:18,954
[Chuckles then sobs]
106
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:23,828
David: This coffee's delicious.
- Thank you.
107
00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:25,830
- Yeah, it's... it's sort of
burning my hand a bit
108
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:28,137
because I can't put it down
on anything.
109
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,835
- David, you know that the new
coffee table is coming today,
110
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:33,360
and that it takes a little bit
longer when it's handmade.
111
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:34,883
- Handmade, yeah.
112
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,188
You know what I think
you should do?
113
00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:38,016
Just come over here
and relax for a bit.
114
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:40,192
Sit down, we could put our...
115
00:04:40,236 --> 00:04:41,716
our feet up on the...
[Knock at the door]
116
00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:43,805
- You happy now?
117
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,676
Just do me a favour
and watch these,
118
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,374
and don't eat them.
- Mm. No guarantees.
119
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,855
- Hey.
- Hey.
120
00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:52,596
Coffee table for Patrick?
- That's me, yeah.
121
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,076
You look super familiar.
122
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:56,078
Have we ordered from you before?
123
00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:57,993
- Uh, I don't know.
I... I get a lot of orders.
124
00:04:58,036 --> 00:05:00,169
Do you mind if I uh...?
- Yeah, come on in.
125
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:03,303
Uh, it's just right there.
- Yeah.
126
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,392
- 'Kay.
127
00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:08,220
[Door shuts]
128
00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:09,831
- [Sighs]
129
00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:12,573
- I'm sorry, this is who made
your table?
130
00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:14,009
- David!
- Hi.
131
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:16,011
- What're you doing here?
- Okay. Muah.
132
00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,491
Wow. We're still doing that.
133
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:20,363
Uh, this is my boyfriend's
place.
134
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,799
- Fiancé.
- Fiancé.
135
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:24,106
- Yeah. Now I remember where
we met before.
136
00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:25,977
Stevie's apartment.
- At Stevie's.
137
00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:28,023
- Bingo. I'm sorry
for not remembering.
138
00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:30,155
I meet a lot of people.
- Mm.
139
00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:32,288
- That is a great sweater,
by the way.
140
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,508
It really brings out your lips.
- Okay.
141
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:37,249
- Well, thank you
for the coffee table.
142
00:05:37,293 --> 00:05:38,990
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
143
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:41,123
I am also wearing a sweater.
144
00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:44,039
- A lot of sweat
went into this one.
145
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:45,257
- [Chuckles]
146
00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:47,869
- This is one of my best
pieces. You got great taste.
147
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,784
And from the looks of it,
so does David.
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00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,960
- [Laughs] Okay.
I'm gonna go uh...
149
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:53,396
you know,
I'm gonna check on the...
150
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,876
- Perfect! Yeah.
- pancakes.
151
00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:56,878
- Say, you know what?
I was just planning on having
152
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,967
a chill night in,
but if you guys are free,
153
00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:00,751
I'd love for you to come by
for a whiskey or...
154
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,318
whatever.
- O-kay.
155
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,147
You know...
156
00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:06,975
You know what? We'll, we'll
think about that for a sec
157
00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,977
and see, and see.
- Great!
158
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,892
Hope to see you tonight.
- Okay.
159
00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:12,937
- And for what it's worth,
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00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:14,939
you guys make a beautiful
couple.
161
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,201
- Thank you so much.
162
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:20,858
[Door closes]
163
00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,428
- What?
- No, you're just, your face
164
00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:26,951
is all red. It's beet red.
165
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:28,475
- It is not!
- Mm-hmm. It's flush.
166
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,653
- Hey, babe!
- Hey, babe!
167
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,785
Oh my God! Where are you?
Is that the ocean?
168
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:37,179
- I wish. It's a poster
of the ocean.
169
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:39,311
'Cause I'm actually in
Stewart's dorm room right now
170
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:41,662
because mine got evacuated
last night -
171
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:44,012
small fire ants issue.
172
00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:46,362
- Yikes!
Hope everything's okay.
173
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,452
- It was a real "Fyre Fest."
[Chuckles]
174
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,802
You do not wanna see
Krista's ankles today.
175
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:53,978
But, it's all good.
176
00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:55,458
We'll be getting our dorms
back in...
177
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:57,155
better shape than we left 'em.
178
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:59,375
- Can't wait.
- Let's talk about you!
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00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,072
Everyone here has been watching
your video!
180
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,857
And to think it was all fake?
181
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,425
- Totally fake.
Isn't that wild?
182
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,905
And all of these PR agencies
from New York are calling
183
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,690
to ask me how I did it.
184
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,169
- How did you do it?
185
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,041
- Um, it's like a little bit
too complicated
186
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:15,435
to explain over this.
- Hi, Theodore!
187
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:17,088
Gorgeous view!
188
00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:19,134
- Hi, Mrs. Rose!
Congrats on the movie!
189
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:21,092
That last scene where you
leap from your nest
190
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,051
only to discover that
your wings
191
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,488
aren't developed enough yet...
- Oh, you're too kind.
192
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:28,099
The Daily Mail called it
a "flap for the ages!"
193
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:30,406
- Okay, can I have my boyfriend
back now, please?
194
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,712
- Hm.
[Phone rings]
195
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,453
- [Clears her throat]
Oh!
196
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:35,237
It's Buzzfeed calling
about the 10 goriest
197
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,065
Clara Mandrake accidents
from the film.
198
00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:38,980
- Best we take it.
199
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:40,982
And don't forget,
we have a conference call
200
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:43,463
with the Interflix PR people
in a tight 15.
201
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:44,986
- Okay.
- Wow,
202
00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:46,901
it seems like you've got
a lot going on, Alexis.
203
00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:48,598
- Yes, but not too much
for you.
204
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,208
- No, don't worry about me,
205
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:52,036
you're obviously in high
demand.
206
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,038
- Alexis! They're asking
about co-stars.
207
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:56,867
I can't be expected to remember
everyone I meet!
208
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:59,217
- Mm. Okay, okay.
Well, I guess I do have to go,
209
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:00,741
but I will see you
in a few days
210
00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:02,394
and I can't wait!
211
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:03,874
- I can't wait either.
Moira: [Shouting] Alexis!
212
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:05,397
- Okay, I'm coming. Ugh!
213
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:07,051
Okay, love you! [Blows kiss]
- Love you--
214
00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:08,488
[Button clicks]
Ooh!
215
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,142
[Birds chirp, door opens]
216
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:15,407
- I don't think we're the same
size, Johnny.
217
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:18,236
I might have a trouble fitting
tissues into these pockets.
218
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,934
- Oh, you won't need tissues.
219
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:21,675
There'll be no crying tonight,
Bob.
220
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,546
You look like a million bucks.
221
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,461
Roland: Well, actually, Bob,
in Johnny's suit there,
222
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,419
you look like a guy
who had a million bucks,
223
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:29,552
but then lost it. [Laughs]
224
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:30,858
- Very funny, Roland.
225
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:32,555
Now, the suit works, Bob.
226
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,775
Ronnie: Bob, in my experience,
227
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:37,560
it doesn't matter
what you wear.
228
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:39,693
It's all about being yourself.
229
00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:41,085
- I think the last person
230
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,913
Bob wants to be right now
is himself.
231
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:44,567
- I agree with Roland.
232
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,569
- I don't know if I can speak
on behalf of women here--
233
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:47,918
- You can't.
234
00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:50,442
- Moira used to say,
when she was single,
235
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:52,227
she would always be attracted
to men
236
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,098
who could make her laugh.
237
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:55,926
- How'd she end up with you?
238
00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,449
- [Laughs]
239
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,321
- All right, why don't we try
a little test run here.
240
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:01,758
Let's imagine we're in a bar.
241
00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:04,500
Ronnie, do you wanna be the
woman in this little scenario?
242
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,590
- Not a chance.
- Okay. [Clears throat] Mm!
243
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,593
Move over. I... [clears throat]
will be the woman.
244
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:12,377
- Okay. So we're in a bar
245
00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:15,598
and, uh, you see this very
intriguing looking gentleman.
246
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,600
- Okay. [Clears throat]
247
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:20,472
[High voice]
Hello, I'm...
248
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,083
I'm Gwen.
- Oh...
249
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:23,998
- You had to pick Gwen?
- I'm sorry,
250
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:25,869
I saw Bob standing there
251
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:27,349
and that was the first name
I thought of.
252
00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,133
They're always together.
- Okay. Hold it together.
253
00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:31,005
- Pick another name!
- Okay, all right.
254
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:33,442
Uh... okay, yeah.
255
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,967
Hi. I'm Ronnie.
256
00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:38,969
That's my friend Gwen.
- Oh...
257
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:40,362
- Okay, this is a disaster.
258
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:42,146
- Thank you, Roland.
I'll take over from here.
259
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:44,409
Bob, honestly,
- [Crying]
260
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:46,194
- You know,
just a few runs and...
261
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:48,152
you're gonna be drowning
in phone numbers.
262
00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:50,067
- No. No... [Sobbing]
263
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,636
I... I can't breathe.
264
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,420
- Ooh.
265
00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,164
- You know what? Jake did
a great job with this.
266
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:02,036
- Mm-hmm.
I was just about to say
267
00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:04,168
this coffee table really
brings out your lips.
268
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:06,475
- Okay, what? I can't
compliment the guy?
269
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:08,956
He's talented. You know, he's
like a, a one-man operation.
270
00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:10,740
- Not in my experience.
271
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,786
- And I think it was
very nice of him
272
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,352
to invite us for drinks tonight.
273
00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:16,441
- Wasn't it?
- Yes, it was. It was very nice
274
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,400
and I think that we should
get back to him about it.
275
00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:21,359
- About going to his place
for "a whiskey or whatever"?
276
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,144
- David, I'm fine to have
drinks
277
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:25,450
with one of your exes, okay?
- Okay, first of all,
278
00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:27,670
Jake is nobody's ex
and everybody's ex.
279
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,455
And second of all,
going to Jake's for a drink
280
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:33,676
is never just going
to Jake's for a drink.
281
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,460
- Oh... oh. So you...
282
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:38,681
okay, so you think he invited
us over to... to...?
283
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:40,683
- Yes, I do. Yeah.
- Yeah.
284
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:42,554
Well, in that case,
we definitely shouldn't go.
285
00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:44,905
'Cause we're not really
the kind of couple that...
286
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:47,037
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah...
287
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:49,692
- That being said,
288
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,607
if we ever did decide to...
289
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:55,567
have "a whiskey" with someone,
290
00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:58,135
Jake would be the person
to do that with
291
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:00,660
because he literally doesn't
care about anything.
292
00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:02,270
So just...
293
00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:04,359
I'm just throwing it out there.
294
00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:07,362
- I mean, we always have
the option of going
295
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,799
and just having a whiskey.
296
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,367
- Okay. And I always have
the option of online shopping
297
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:14,630
and just putting things
in the cart.
298
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,588
That's not gonna happen.
299
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:21,245
- Um... what's all this?
300
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:22,725
- They just keep coming.
301
00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:24,945
- Well, congratulations.
302
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:26,729
That must mean everyone's
happy.
303
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:28,339
- Oh, very happy, yes.
304
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,341
Thanks to your little attack
of the corvidae,
305
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:33,388
we are Interflix's number one
stream of the day.
306
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:35,607
Tied only with the fourth
season
307
00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:37,174
of "Caroline in the City."
308
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:39,089
- From Interflix.
309
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:42,614
"To Alexis,
310
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:44,704
congratulations and thank you.
311
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:47,141
The competition is eating
crow." [Chuckles]
312
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:49,883
"Love, your new best friends
at Interflix."
313
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:53,887
- They're all for you.
314
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:57,629
Not those - those are from
Joyce Dewitt.
315
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,457
I didn't want to overwhelm you,
dear,
316
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:01,895
I know you're being pulled
in another direction.
317
00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:05,463
Though, you might find a bit
more delectation in this.
318
00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:08,945
- No, I do. I... I just like
haven't received flowers
319
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:11,469
from someone I wasn't...
friends with.
320
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,645
[Exhales sharply]
321
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,386
What do I do?
322
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:16,910
- What do you want to do?
323
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,607
- I can't leave now.
324
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,087
- If you're worried
about the flowers,
325
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,784
they'll likely be dead
in a week.
326
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,438
- Yeah, like my career
if I walk away
327
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,135
with everything that's
going on.
328
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:26,789
I've already made Ted wait
an extra month.
329
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:29,618
I can't... back out now.
330
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,968
- So you...
you weigh your options.
331
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:34,928
On the one hand,
you are perched
332
00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:37,278
on the precipice
of a dream come true
333
00:12:37,321 --> 00:12:39,976
and you can jump knowing,
possibly for the first time,
334
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,109
that you can succeed
at anything
335
00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:44,328
to which you put your mind.
336
00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:47,418
- And on the other hand?
337
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:49,812
- What other hand?
- Ted!
338
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,684
- [Gasps] Dear Ted.
339
00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,469
Yes, this is a quandary.
340
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:55,992
- [Sighs heavily]
341
00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:02,042
[Music spills from bar,
traffic whooshes by]
342
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,913
[Low hum of chatter,
pool balls clack]
343
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:06,133
- Well, things seem to be
going well.
344
00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:09,527
- Yeah, look, they're standing
pretty close together.
345
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:11,138
That must be a good sign.
346
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:12,704
- Yeah, and he's not crossing
his arms.
347
00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:14,619
That's good body language.
And... they're hugging!
348
00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:16,143
- Uh-huh.
349
00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:18,319
- And... now he's walking away.
Okay.
350
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:20,669
- Well? How'd it go, Bob?
351
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:22,714
It looked like you two
were hitting off.
352
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,064
- What're the odds of...
353
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:26,327
running into my marriage
counselor here?
354
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,155
- I'm sorry, did you just say
355
00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:29,983
you picked up your marriage
counselor?
356
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,114
- No.
357
00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,987
I'm saying she told me
she can't keep seeing me.
358
00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,206
Apparently, there's a conflict
of interest
359
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,948
and, uh, she's chosen to go
with Gwen.
360
00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:40,950
But... I can't blame her.
361
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,561
- Okay,
362
00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:45,781
can we try my system now?
363
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,044
We all laugh,
on the count of three,
364
00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:50,264
as if Bob just told
a very funny joke.
365
00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:52,266
- Oh, no pressure.
366
00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:54,224
- Well, you don't actually
have to tell a joke, Bob.
367
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:56,096
Just act like you did.
368
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:59,534
And that might attract uh...
you know, someone's attention.
369
00:13:59,577 --> 00:14:01,231
- What if they ask me
what I said?
370
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,885
- Well, they're not gonna ask
you what you said.
371
00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:04,669
- I don't know, Johnny.
372
00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:06,715
This sounds like a really
complicated plan.
373
00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:08,543
- Mm-hmm.
- It couldn't be more simple.
374
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:11,372
Just follow my lead.
375
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:13,243
[Laughing]
376
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,247
All: [Laughing]
377
00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:23,732
- It's working.
It's working. Working.
378
00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:25,560
- Is something funny?
379
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:27,083
- Well, now that you
mention it--
380
00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:28,911
- Because it looked like you
were laughing at me.
381
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:30,521
Roland: [Snorts,
stifles laughter poorly]
382
00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:33,873
- No, It's, it's just my very
available friend, Bob here,
383
00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:36,223
just said something so funny.
384
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:38,921
- What'd you say?
- You said they wouldn't ask.
385
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,358
Ronnie: Okay, I'm not saying
I'm bailing on this,
386
00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:43,752
but... I think I'm gonna go
mingle and...
387
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:46,059
I might not come back.
388
00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:48,931
- It's not so much, uh,
what he said,
389
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:52,108
it was just, uh, it was a funny
observation. [Laughs]
390
00:14:52,152 --> 00:14:55,111
- Well, next time,
observe someone else.
391
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:58,941
- [Makes engine noise]
392
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:01,291
Crrrash and burn, Johnny.
393
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:04,599
- Boy, I... I buckled
under the pressure.
394
00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:07,036
But she was a dead ringer
for Gwen.
395
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,735
[Jacket rustles]
396
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:14,914
- Oh, didn't know we were
bringing our friends tonight.
397
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:16,611
- 'Kay, I knew I shouldn't have
worn this shirt.
398
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,613
- No, it's nice, it's nice.
Is it new?
399
00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:20,441
And does it come in
an adult size?
400
00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,791
- It's not new.
I just haven't worn it yet.
401
00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:24,445
- So it is new then.
- Is that cologne I smell?
402
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:26,969
- No. This is a leather-scented
body moisturizer.
403
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:29,972
- So, you... you moisturized
your body then.
404
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,802
You know what? [Chuckles]
Why don't we not do this?
405
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:35,195
This is getting a bit
complicated.
406
00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:37,110
- The only thing that's
complicated here
407
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:38,633
is the length of your sleeves.
408
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:40,243
Go long, go short.
Just pick one.
409
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:42,680
Um, as for this?
If one of us wants to leave
410
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,117
and the other one wants
to stay, then...
411
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,423
- We both leave.
- We... both leave, yeah.
412
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:50,079
So... I think you should knock
on the door
413
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:53,039
because these arms are nice
and warmed up.
414
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,259
- All right.
[Knocking]
415
00:15:58,131 --> 00:16:01,003
[Door opens]
- Hi, boys.
416
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:03,005
So glad you could make it.
Come on in.
417
00:16:04,528 --> 00:16:06,139
[Low hum of chatter and music]
418
00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:09,142
- Oh wow.
419
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:11,579
A lot of people are here
for drinks, David.
420
00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:12,928
- Yeah, a few more are on
their way.
421
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,625
Make yourselves at home, boys.
422
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,279
Great shirt, by the way.
- Aw.
423
00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:17,585
- Mm-hmm. Thanks.
424
00:16:17,628 --> 00:16:20,022
Um...
425
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,982
We left our wine in the car.
- Oh.
426
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:24,548
- So we should go get that.
427
00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:26,637
- Oh, don't worry about it.
Plenty of vino here.
428
00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:28,988
- Yeah, it's just that ours
is um...
429
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,686
kosher.
- Mm.
430
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,949
- Well, hurry back. We're gonna
start the massage circle soon.
431
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,820
- Oh...
- Don't wanna miss it.
432
00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:38,258
- Think you're up
for the massage circle?
433
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,129
- This is way too many people.
- Yeah.
434
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:42,392
You have your coat.
We should go.
435
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:44,177
And... Stevie?
436
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,526
Oh... my God.
437
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,659
- Huh.
438
00:16:48,703 --> 00:16:50,226
- What're you doing here?
439
00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:53,751
- What're you two doing here?
- We were...
440
00:16:53,795 --> 00:16:56,319
- We were just...
- Invited for drinks?
441
00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:58,060
- I don't know what
you're talking about.
442
00:16:58,104 --> 00:16:59,583
We came here to say hi
443
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:00,932
and now we're leaving.
- Mm-hmm.
444
00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:03,196
- Can I not have one thing
for myself?
445
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:05,415
- No. Anyway, we're gonna go.
446
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:06,938
You gonna come with?
447
00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:09,550
- Uh... I still have like...
half a drink left,
448
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:11,552
so I think I'm gonna finish it
here, and then...
449
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,075
meet you guys later?
450
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,946
- No, you won't.
- No, I won't.
451
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:16,774
- Okay.
- Have fun.
452
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,341
- Bye.
453
00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:21,910
[Crickets chirp]
454
00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:24,608
[Skype call rings]
455
00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:29,700
Ted: [Out of breath]
Hey, sorry I'm late.
456
00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:31,093
Myrtle was laying her eggs
457
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,964
and the whole team
was really excited.
458
00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:35,402
- Mmm! Yeah, I bet.
Fresh omelettes.
459
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:37,273
- Well, Myrtle's a green sea
turtle,
460
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,275
and they only spawn
every two years,
461
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,625
so eating her eggs would
actually disrupt
462
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,192
an entire ecosystem.
463
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,238
Plus, there's like a ton
of cholesterol.
464
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,588
- Mm. Um, well, it sounds
like you're super busy,
465
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,633
so I don't wanna take up
too much of your time,
466
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:52,984
um, but I actually wanted
to talk to you about something.
467
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:54,899
- I know what you're going
to say, Alexis.
468
00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:57,293
- You do?
- I've been dropping the ball
469
00:17:57,337 --> 00:17:59,382
when it comes to our phone
dates.
470
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:02,124
Between juggling work
and, and the time difference--
471
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:04,300
- No, Ted, you haven't done
anything wrong.
472
00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:06,128
We've both been so busy
with work,
473
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,043
and then on top of all of that,
you've been...
474
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,132
renovating your entire
apartment for me.
475
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:12,308
- Well, I put some screens
on the windows.
476
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,223
I wouldn't really call it
a renovation.
477
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:16,225
- Okay, well, you bought
a juicer. [Chuckles]
478
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:18,880
Um, but the more
I've been thinking about it,
479
00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,969
the more I feel... like...
480
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:25,060
- I think you should stay
where you are.
- maybe I should stay here.
481
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,671
- Sorry, did, did you say
something?
482
00:18:27,715 --> 00:18:30,152
- No. Um... What did you say?
483
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:32,459
- I can't have you come here,
Alexis. You'll hate it.
484
00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:35,940
And I'm not just saying that
because the screens that
I installed
485
00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:38,291
are actually attracting
more bugs somehow.
486
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:41,859
But you'd be leaving everything
that you're doing to come here,
487
00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:44,471
and... I can't guarantee that
there won't have another trip
488
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:47,169
that takes me away
for days at a time.
489
00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:50,607
D-don't get me wrong,
I want you here so bad,
490
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:52,392
but I know you.
491
00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:54,481
And no matter how many juices
I buy,
492
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:57,136
this place just won't feel
like home.
493
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:03,011
Sorry. I can't tell
if the screen's frozen,
494
00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:04,665
or if you're just really
shocked.
495
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,623
But if you still want to come,
I'm not gonna tell you not to.
496
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,190
- No, no, no, no. Um...
497
00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:10,801
you've made some very valid
points.
498
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:12,281
- Yeah. I didn't even tell you
499
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:14,196
about the shared bathroom
situation.
500
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,285
- Okay, well... maybe you
could've led with that.
501
00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:18,505
Would've saved us some time.
502
00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:21,377
Um, but I guess we just
wait it out?
503
00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,206
Seems like our only option.
504
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:26,556
- Yeah, until somebody invents
teleportation.
505
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,079
- [Chuckles]
506
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:31,344
Okay, well, um...
nobody's home,
507
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:33,694
so why don't we start
by teleporting you
508
00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:35,391
out of that shirt?
509
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,219
- That's not really how
teleportation works,
510
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:39,003
but I think that I can--
511
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:41,223
[Gasps] Aww... not again!
512
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,878
I'm so sorry, uh,
but the ants are back
513
00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:45,749
and, uh, I think
what we're about to do
514
00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:48,535
probably wouldn't end very well
if a fire ant was involved.
515
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:50,493
Um, rain check?
516
00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:52,234
- Rain check.
517
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:54,889
- [Sighs] I love you!
[Button clicks]
518
00:19:54,932 --> 00:19:56,630
- Uh, mm, oh!
519
00:19:57,892 --> 00:19:59,415
Love you.
520
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:05,856
[Motorcycle rumbles]
521
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,815
- Hey, I'm heading out.
522
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:09,425
- Calling it a night?
523
00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:12,341
- Well, actually, my night
is just beginning.
524
00:20:12,385 --> 00:20:15,257
- Whoa... Welcome to
the players' club.
525
00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:17,041
- No, I'm not high-fiving that.
526
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,435
Look, her name is Vanessa,
527
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,481
and she has a very single,
528
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:24,005
very attractive friend
over there,
529
00:20:24,048 --> 00:20:25,615
who was just telling me about
530
00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:28,139
all the trouble she's having
with her car.
531
00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:30,359
- Bob, this is right up
your alley.
532
00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:32,666
Nobody knows their way around
cars like you.
533
00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:35,408
- Yeah, I, uh, was really
hoping to not talk shop.
534
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:38,106
- Bob, just go over
and talk to her.
535
00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:40,021
- Look, be yourself.
536
00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:42,328
Have a mint.
Go, go, go, go.
537
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,984
And that, gentlemen,
538
00:20:47,028 --> 00:20:49,291
is how it's done. Bye!
539
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,036
- You know, Roland,
I do not miss being single.
540
00:20:55,079 --> 00:20:57,081
- Whoa, here's to that.
[Bottles clink]
541
00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:58,648
Cheers, my friend.
542
00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:01,651
- Not that I didn't have fun
in my day.
543
00:21:01,695 --> 00:21:03,827
They actually used to call me
"the closer."
544
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,873
- Yeah. [Chuckles]
Well, that was probably
545
00:21:05,916 --> 00:21:07,918
because women used to close out
their tabs and go home
546
00:21:07,962 --> 00:21:09,485
when you came into the bar.
547
00:21:09,529 --> 00:21:11,357
- All right, speaking of
closing out tabs,
548
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:12,923
I think we should get out
of here.
549
00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:14,751
- Which is what the women used
to say to each other
550
00:21:14,795 --> 00:21:16,449
when they saw you walking
through the door.
551
00:21:16,492 --> 00:21:18,581
- I'm not setting you up
anymore, Roland.
552
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,322
- Which is that what
your matchmaker said!
553
00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:21,802
[Laughing]
- Oh boy...
41281
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